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The Moderation of Saints

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Katya hated driving.

She hated the way her decade-old Honda Accord shook when she accelerated past 50, she hated the way she’d sweat through her clothes if she was in the car for more than ten minutes, & most of all, she hated the anxiety of picking up strangers & being forced to make conversation with them as they hurtled through southern Michigan in the deathbox that was her car.  But here she was, doing all three, as she headed to pick up the visiting writer from the Detroit airport & bring her back to her boring Ohio college town.

When she’d agreed to be the graduate program assistant for the English department, all she’d considered was the course release it promised her.  She was in the MFA program to write, she told herself, not to teach freshman comp, & if the only way out of doing it was to make monthly trips to Detroit in her shitty car, she’d suck it up.  There was an extra layer of nervousness built into this trip, however, because in the worn-down passenger’s seat next to her would soon be one of her favorite writers— Trixie Mattel.

When Dr. Conway had announced the visiting readers for the semester, Katya had nearly choked on her own tongue upon hearing Trixie’s name.  Though Katya was in the poetry program, Trixie’s lyrical memoirs had always been some of her biggest inspirations, not to mention how drop-dead gorgeous— & drop-dead gay— she was.

Katya got to the airport a few minutes early, & parked in the garage, heading toward their pre-set meeting place at the Delta baggage claim.  She checked her phone & decided she had plenty of time for a second cigarette to calm her nerves. Hovering outside the main doors, she paced back & forth, staring intently for any sign of Trixie retrieving her bags.  Only a few seconds after she’d found a spot on the uncomfortable pebbled bench, she felt a tap on her shoulder.

“Hi, Katya?”  Trixie loomed over her, shiny pink bag tossed over her shoulder.

“Oh, hey, hi, sorry,” she stammered, stubbing her cigarette into the ashtray beside her & leaping up to shake her hand.  “I, uh—” she waved in the general direction of the baggage claim.

Trixie giggled.  “It’s fine! I didn’t even check a bag, actually,” she pointed toward the metallic PVC bag.  “I figured I didn’t need much for two days!”

“Yeah, that’s true.”  Katya willed herself to say something better than that, but nothing came to mind.  “So, um, my car’s this way,” she started toward the crosswalk.

Trixie speed-walked a few steps to catch up.  “Thanks for driving me,” she smiled.

“Oh, no problem.  It’s a little bit of a trip back, though… if you need anything first.”  Katya still couldn’t bring herself to make eye contact as she spoke.

“Actually!”  Trixie chirped as they made their way through the tight pathways of the garage, “I would kill a bitch for some Starbucks.  If you don’t mind?”

“Yeah, no, same!  I know there’s one just a couple exits south of here if you can wait?”

“I’m not gonna die if I go without it,” Trixie scoffed playfully.

“Well… I don’t know!”  Katya laughed nervously.  “ I might!”

“Fair enough,” Trixie grinned, tossing her bag into Katya’s newly-cleaned backseat.  She’d emptied it of half a garbage bag’s worth of Red Bull cans, empty cigarette packs, & crumpled up papers at the Circle K on the way there.  Since the department was paying for her expenses, Katya had taken advantage & gassed up her tank to full & paid to vacuum the whole interior of her car.  Normally, she wouldn’t give two fucks about a visiting writer seeing her messy grad student life on full display, but she wanted to look presentable for Trixie.

As Trixie buckled herself into Katya’s front seat, Katya tried not to make it obvious that she was checking her out top to bottom from the corner of her eye.  Her pale pink dress was covered in a pattern of cacti & horses & rode up just over her knees as she settled into the seat Katya knew was riddled with old cigarette burns & other mysterious stains.  A tiny white bow was clipped into her hair, holding it back from her face on one side, & Katya thanked whatever force of the universe had made Trixie choose to put it on the left, affording her a closer look at her features.

She started the car & the pair of them were immediately smacked in the face with Katya’s music.  “Sorry!” she cringed, immediately twisting the volume knob down to a tolerable level.

Trixie laughed, “You listen to music like I do… except this doesn’t sound like Dolly Parton!”

Katya grinned.  “Sorry, I don’t have a plug-in thing for your phone or I’d offer—”

Trixie cut her off.  “No, it’s fine! I wanna know what you like!”  Katya felt a blush creep across her cheeks. “What are the kids into these days?” Trixie teased in an exaggerated old lady voice.

“Um… I’m probably not a good arbiter of that,” Katya chuckled.  “Besides, you’re barely even older than me, I bet!”

“Oh?  How old are you?”

“Twenty-three,” Katya replied, turning to look over her shoulder in order to back out of the parking spot.

“Hmmmm,” Trixie hummed quietly.

“Why?  How old are you?”

“Thirty-four.  Old.”

“That’s not old!” Katya snorted as she rolled down her window to pay the parking fee.

“Here, let me—” Trixie reached back for her bag.

“It’s the department’s money, don’t worry.”

Trixie giggled.  “Good call.” She was silent as Katya navigated the confusing rings of the streets surrounding the airport, watching the way she sucked in her lower lip & clutched the steering wheel for dear life as she pulled into traffic on the interstate.  “So what are we listening to?” she asked, reaching over to turn the volume up a few notches.

“Oh, um, Lords of Acid,” Katya smiled awkwardly at her.  “Probably not your thing… you can turn it off. It’s the last song on the CD anyway.”

“Ooooh, a CD, she’s retro,” Trixie teased in a Valley Girl voice.

“Ooooh, a CD, she’s poor & has an old ass car,” Katya mimicked her voice.  Trixie shrieked with laughter. “We can’t all be makin’ big famous writer bucks,” Katya grinned, sticking her tongue out slightly through her teeth.

“Oh, yeah, a couple hundred dollars to fly around to country reading to undergrads.  I’m practically rollin’ in it!”

“At least it’s not all undergrads this time?  You get me !” she laughed.

“Thank god!  I was gonna just go back to Wisconsin & marry the first ugly white farm boy who’d have me if things didn’t get more exciting.”

Katya wheezed, “Something tells me that wouldn’t have worked out too well.”

Trixie turned bright red from laughing so hard.  “& why not?!”

“I read your book.”

“Ohhhh, so you know I’m a big ol’ homo?” Trixie wiped tears from under her eyes as she tried to stop laughing.

“You said it, not me,” Katya cackled, switching lanes to exit toward Starbucks.  Trixie was quiet for a moment. “Can I be weird & gross for a minute?” Katya asked, taking the exit ramp.

“Weirder & grosser than you already are?”  Trixie teased.

“I know, it doesn’t seem possible!  I’m just gonna be that disgusting girl right now, but… your second book… it really meant a lot to me.”  Trixie turned to face her, watching the words fall from her bright red lips. “Like… just about being the only gay one… like…” Katya felt herself stammering & flushed with embarrassment.  “I’m from Boston, not Wisconsin, but it was kind of the same thing, ya know… & it just meant a lot to see someone else who made it out of that kind of a world.” She turned to glance out both windows before turning onto the main road.

“Thanks,” Trixie nodded quietly.  “It seems like you’ve made it, too.  You’re here.” She paused. “Well, I mean, not here here, but you’re away from it all, you’re in grad school, you’re writing?” she ended her sentence with the upward inflection that Katya knew meant she was asking, not telling.

“Yeah… I am.  Sort of. I’m kinda exhausted because I’m just tweaking my thesis right now, but kinda.”

“I’d love to read some of your work.”

“Oh.”  Katya’s brain froze as she pulled into the drive-thru line.  “Um… sure. I can send you a few things if you want…”

“You don’t have to,” Trixie sensed her nerves.

“No, it’s okay!  That’d mean a lot to me,” she smiled at her, locking into eye contact for the first time since she’d picked her up.  Trixie’s big brown eyes, emphasized by thick fake lashes, made her feel like she’d never been looked at— really looked at— before in her life.  After a few seconds, a car behind them in the line honked & Katya waved an apologetic hand in her rear view mirror, pulling up to the speaker.

“What do you want?” she whispered to Trixie.

Trixie leaned over Katya, shoulder pressed against hers, & spoke loudly, “Hi, can I get a grande iced caramel macchiato with coconut milk, an extra shot of espresso, & the cinnamon dolce topping?”

Katya stared at her skeptically.  “Gross,” she mouthed as Trixie flung herself back into her seat.  “&, uh—” she muttered into the speaker. “I’ll have a venti iced Americano black, no sweetener.”

“You don’t like flavor?” Trixie poked her in the side as she pulled forward toward the window.

“I don’t like diabetes,” she laughed.

“Oh, bitch,” Trixie shook her head.  Once they got to the window, Katya reached into her pocket & pulled out a loose ten-dollar bill, handing it to the young guy working the window.  “Katya!” Trixie scolded her.

“Shhhh, drink your heart attack,” she handed her the frothy monstrosity.

“I owe you a drink, then.”

Katya rolled her eyes with a smile as she pulled away, hurtling them back toward campus, only this time, she felt strangely more at ease with the drive.




 

 

Katya dropped Trixie off at her hotel near campus before heading to her own studio apartment a couple of miles away.  As soon as she got inside, she kicked off her scuffed black boots & black jeans, leaving them in a pile by the front door.  If there was one thing Katya hated more than driving, it was being dressed. The gloominess of her basement studio apartment provided her with the privacy to walk around in nothing but her underwear— sometimes paired with fishnets, if she was too lazy to take them off— anytime she wanted.

Flopping down onto her bed in her t-shirt & boyshorts, Katya stared up at the ceiling for a few seconds before reaching across to the end of the bed, where she’d emptied her pockets, & grabbed her cigarettes & lighter.  The other perk about her damp, depressing studio was that the shitty landlord didn’t mind if she smoked inside, & she took full advantage. Still lying on her back, she took a couple of drags before scrolling down to Courtney’s name in her phone.

“How was she?!” Courtney immediately asked upon picking up.

Hot ,” Katya laughed.

“Tell me everything, you fucking cunt,” Courtney demanded.

“I dunno, she’s cool!  I was scared shitless, but holy fuck, she looked hot.  She was wearing this little pink dress—”

“Shocker,” Courtney interrupted.

“& like, her makeup was so right, & she was super funny… she kept teasing me & like…”  Katya’s voice trailed off dreamily.

“So you’re gonna fuck her?” she finished for her.

“No!  I mean, yes— no, maybe— I don’t know!  Shut up!”

Courtney squealed with laughter.  “You’re gonna fuck herrrrrrrrrr,” she teased in a singsong voice.

“I think I made a fool of myself, like, talking about her book like a fucking fangirl,” Katya sighed, pushing her sweaty bangs up from her forehead.

“What did you say?”

“Typical dykey shit,” Katya huffed, drawing on her cigarette.  “Blah blah, helped me be gay, blah blah, so meaningful. I couldn’t stop myself from just word barfing it all over her, dude.”

“Well, now she knows you’re a lesbian, so…”

“Okay, true!”  Katya jolted up in bed, as if the thought hadn’t even crossed her mind.  “I bought her coffee, too.”

“What a gentleman,” Courtney deadpanned.  “What time is her reading?”

“7:30,” Katya replied.  “I’ve gotta pick her up at 6:45.”

“Go get ready, then!” Courtney shouted.  “It’s already 6!”

“Okay, fine!  I’m gonna text you.”

“You better, you slut!”  Courtney hung up, leaving Katya to exhale to an empty apartment.  She opened the cupboard above her refrigerator & stood on her tiptoes to pull down the bottle of Johnnie Walker Red she’d gotten for her birthday & saved for special occasions.  Katya poured a generous shot into a rocks glass & took it with her into the bathroom, sipping on it as she undressed & climbed into the shower.

Once she’d washed her hair, carefully shaved, & scrubbed her remaining makeup from her face, Katya heaved her dripping body into a thick towel & opened her throat wide to swallow the rest of the scotch.  She cringed slightly at the burn, slathered moisturizer onto her face, & squirted texturizer into her palms to comb through her damp hair. Katya had never been one for a lot of extra makeup— foundation, a quick brush of contour, & smudgy, finger-blended black eyeliner, finished with a swipe of mascara & a deep red lip.

It only took her a few minutes to complete the process & to fluff & scrunch some volume into her choppy blonde bob.  She swiped on some deodorant & spritzed knockoff cologne along her neck & chest, then headed for her closet with a sigh, wishing she could pound a couple more shots of scotch, but she knew the last thing she needed was to pick Trixie up reeking of liquor.

Katya muttered, “okay, okay, okay,” aloud to herself, pawing through her top dresser drawer to find underwear she felt confident in.  Nothing with snags, nothing too baggy, nothing too worn. She finally came up with a red lace thong & a matching bra. Slipping them on, she looked into the full-length mirror that hung on the back of her closet door, & shuddered.  “I look like a fucking Valentine’s present,” she murmured, tearing them back off & leaving them in a pile on the floor.

She pulled on plain black stretchy boyshorts & a black push-up bra & eyed herself suspiciously.  “Whatever,” she sighed. It’s not like it’s gonna happen anyway , she told herself.   Presumptuous idiot , she chastised.  She pushed through the clothes hanging in her closet until she found a pair of tight black slacks & a loose, see-through black button-down shirt.

Too slutty?  She took a photo in the mirror, giving a peace sign, & texted it to Courtney.

Only a little!  Get that Barbie doll pussy!  Courtney texted back.

Hate you , she replied with a black heart.

Katya nervously spritzed herself again with her cologne & sprayed hairspray wildly across her hair, causing it to stick out a bit in random places, before sliding on her black boots, & stuffing her ID, debit card, & a few stray dollars into one pocket, & her cigarettes & lighter into the other.  As much as she wanted to smoke on the short drive to Trixie’s hotel, she held back, hoping maybe Trixie would like the smell of her cologne.

Once she pulled into the pickup area of Trixie’s hotel, she bit her nail nervously, not knowing whether she should go inside or park or— she was interrupted by Trixie’s heels clacking against the brick, & then a gentle knock on her passenger’s side window.  She hit the automatic locks & Trixie hopped in.

“Hi,” Katya smiled, nervous all over again.

“Hey, you look good!” Trixie chirped, shamelessly eyeing Katya up & down.

“So do you,” she smirked, blushing.  & she did— in her low-cut, short white dress, topped with a baby pink blazer, & paired with white pumps, she looked like a thousand of Katya’s fantasies all put together.  She swallowed hard when she noticed the white-rimmed reading glasses perched atop Trixie’s fluffy blonde hair. “Are you excited?” she asked her as she pulled out onto the road.

“Yeah, I guess.  A little nervous.”

“Really?!” Katya asked incredulously.  “I figured this’d be old hat for you by now.”

“I mean, it is.  But it’s still a little nerve-wracking to go into a crowd of strangers & read personal things, ya know.”

Katya nodded.  “You’ll do great.”

Trixie reached over to rub her shoulder.  “Thanks, babe.”

Katya felt her heart start to race at the contact, but eased into it as Trixie left her hand in the crevice between Katya’s head & the seat, cradling her neck softly as she drove.  “I was gonna burn you some Dolly, but I didn’t have time,” she smirked, glancing at Trixie out of the corner of her eye.

Trixie giggled, “You’re precious!”

They rode in contented silence the rest of the way to campus, Katya pulling into the student lot & circling the lot until she got lucky enough to find a spot close to the small building where Trixie would be reading.  “Ready?” she asked as she turned the car off.

Trixie looked to the building, then back to Katya.  “They told me it was a chapel, but it’s really like… a chapel chapel.”

“Yeah, it’s kinda weird,” Katya agreed.

“I’m gonna burst into flames!” Trixie squealed.  She’d expected a renovated church building or something, not a square white chapel, bell out front & all.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be hiding in a pew, trying to conceal my love for Satan,” Katya grinned.

“Oh, great, there are pews!”  Trixie heaved a joking sigh.

“Just imagine everyone naked?” Katya offered.

Trixie clicked her tongue & flicked her eyes to Katya’s full red lips.  “Hmmmm.”

“What?”

“Nothing!” she smirked, reaching into the floorboard to retrieve the box that held a couple dozen copies of her book, along with her notes.

Katya pursed her lips, forcing herself not to say anything to ruin the moment, & hopped out of the car, running around to Trixie’s side.  “Let me carry that,” she extended her arms to take the box from her.

Trixie handed it to her with a gentle smile & fluffed her hair up.  “Let’s do this,” she nodded firmly. As they pushed through the front doors of the chapel, Katya felt immensely proud.  A few students— mainly girls— stepped back, staring at Trixie in awe, while others clamored awkwardly around her, wanting to have her sign their books.

Katya stepped into the background, taking the books to the department table & stacking them neatly atop it.  “Everything good?” Dr. Conway asked her.

“Yep, no problems,” she nodded confidently.  “All set.”

“Do you know who was responsible for doing sound tonight?” he asked.

“Ummm… I think it was Maggie & Brad?”

He sighed loudly.  “That’d be why it’s not set up yet.”  She stifled a laugh & continued arranging Trixie’s books, separating them by title.  Even after a year & a half, Katya hadn’t made friends with anyone in her program, & with only a few months to go, she wanted it to stay that way.  They saw her as the weird, freaky lesbian who laughed at awkward moments, talked about sex all the time, & got too enthusiastic about lots of things.  She saw them as cookie-cutter suburbia personified— their trite poems about nature & ex-boyfriends & boring stories that regurgitated every piece of Magical Realism that’d been written over the past decade did nothing for her, nor did their homophobic, stick-up-the-ass personalities.

Once the box had been emptied, Katya was left leaning awkwardly against the wall, holding Trixie’s notes.  After a few minutes, Trixie locked eyes with her & gave her a look that screamed help!  Katya interrupted the undergrads who were making small talk with her.  “Hey, Trixie, did you wanna go over this?” she extended it to her with a subtle wink.

“Oh, yeah!  Excuse me, sorry,” she nodded politely at the students, following Katya out the side door of the chapel.

“Jesus, fuck,” Trixie sighed, exasperated already.  “Thanks!”

“Watch out, you better not take the lord’s name in vain,” Katya warned.

“Oh, girl, I think he’s already had it in for me long before tonight!”

“You doing okay?” Katya asked, handing the folded printer paper to Trixie, who stuffed it into the breast pocket of her blazer.

“I’m good!  Just never know what to say, ya know.”  Katya nodded. “Where are your friends?”

“Friends?  Never heard of ‘em.”

Trixie giggled.  “Relatable. Ya know, people hated me in my MFA.”

“Really?!  How?!”

Trixie shrugged in response.  Katya dug into her pocket & pulled out her pack of Spirits.  “Can we share?” Trixie asked, nodding toward them.

“You can have one if you want,” she extended the open pack to her.

“No, I don’t really smoke… just sometimes.  Just let me take a few drags on yours?”  Katya nodded, lighting one up. “But yeah, I dunno… I just never got along with them.  They thought I was snobby or whatever, but like… it’s kind of hard to relate to people who are just plagiarizing Aimee Bender & Chuck Palahniuk & jacking themselves off for it.”

“Holy shit,” Katya wheezed, handed the cigarette to Trixie.  “We suffered through the same program!”

“I’ve visited a billion of them, & honestly, if you’re well-liked in your MFA, you’re probably doing something wrong— or at least something boring as fuck,” Trixie inhaled slowly on the cigarette.  Katya nodded silently, jiggling her foot from side to side against a deep crack in the concrete. “You’re a poet, right?”

Katya nodded.  “I guess.” She took the cigarette back from Trixie, placing her lips carefully in the exact same spot she’d pressed hers, refusing to let herself think too long about their lipsticks mingling together there.

“What do you write about?”  Trixie asked, then immediately added, “& I know that’s a dumb question, but humor me.”

“Um… female trauma, I guess you could say.  Like… I’m really interested in the power exerted on women by various groups they’re a part of.  The family, the church—”

“Are you religious?” Trixie interrupted, seeming genuinely interested.

“Catholic born & bred,” she laughed.  “But no.”

“So you’re all about the strong heroine, huh?”  She extended her fingers in a V-shape to take the cigarette back from Katya.

“Kind of.  As stupid as it sounds to say, I like to see all women as heroines in my work.  So, like, did you survive in a family that didn’t accept you? You’re a heroine.  Did you live through addiction or abuse or whatever? Ya know.”

Trixie’s eyes sparkled in the low evening light.  “I love that.” She took a drag & passed the end of the cigarette back to Katya.  “You’re interesting,” she smiled.

“Thanks,” Katya blushed, looking down to the ground where she tossed the cigarette butt & stamped it out with the toe of her boot.  Trixie eyed her curiously for a few seconds, a tiny smile on her face, before she reached out to touch her elbow.

“I guess we should go in…”

“Yeah…”

It took all of Katya’s strength not to grab Trixie & pin her against the wall of the chapel right then & there.  She was used to being the aggressor when it came to women— the one who caught their interest, made the moves. Having Trixie’s innocent hand on her elbow— or neck, like it had been in the car— however, sent chills down her spine.  All she wanted was for Trixie to sear her with her eyes, to look down on her & know she had her fully under her control. She involuntarily clenched her thighs as she thought about Trixie pinning her down on the bed, choking her, manhandling her so hard she left bruises.

Instead, she held the chapel door open for her & followed her up to the front of the room where the English department faculty were seated in the first pew.  As they stood to greet her, offering handshakes & awkward hellos, Katya perched on the armrest of the first pew on the opposite side of the aisle, back turned to them.  Her classmates didn’t like to sit in the first row for readings, preferring to scatter throughout the chapel in cliques, but Katya didn’t mind. She checked her phone, seeing a “good luck” text from Courtney, along with a few Twitter notifications & emails.  She scrolled mindlessly until she felt a hot breath on her ear.

“Any requests?” Trixie teased, looking over her shoulder.

“Huh? Oh!” Katya grinned, turning to face her.  “Um… I really love the essay about toys… the McDonald’s Barbies & everything…”

Trixie winked.  “You got it, kitten.”  Katya felt electric at Trixie’s pet name, shifting her hips uncomfortably on the edge of the pew, & hoping Trixie didn’t notice just how much it had affected her.  Not only did Trixie notice, she curled the corners of her lips up into a smirk, & pressed her cheek against Katya’s. “Wish me luck,” she whispered into her ear.

“Good luck,” she whispered back, her eyes boring into Trixie’s as she pulled away.

As Trixie pulled her notes from her blazer pocket & stepped up behind the podium, Katya flopped down inelegantly onto the bench.  She watched Trixie double check to make sure the right books were on the small table next to her, & then crack open the bottle of water sitting beside them, taking a huge gulp.  “Hi, guys!” she chirped into the microphone. The chatter in the room died down as she spoke. “Can everybody hear me okay?” She was met with nods & thumbs-ups from the back of the room.  “Okay, good! Hi… I’m the witch that won’t turn you into a frog because amphibians are people, too, Trixie Mattel!” The room filled with giggles, but none louder— or more obvious— than Katya’s.  “No, really, I’m super excited to be here & I wanted to thank Dr. Conway & the rest of the department for inviting me, & especially my wonderful right-hand-woman, Katya, for toting my ass around today.”  Katya blushed & grinned as Trixie’s eyes darted to her, sitting alone in the first row.

“So to get the ugly stuff out of the way first, I have books for sale in the back if anyone cares to experience this hot garbage firsthand!”  The crowd snickered at Trixie’s self-deprecation. “In the meantime, I was thinking I might just read you one short essay from each of the three books?  Like an appetizer sampler, but unlike Applebee’s, there’s only liiiiike—” she wiggled her hand, “a 40% chance you’ll get food poisoning from me.” Trixie visibly loosened up upon sending the audience into uproarious laughter.

Katya chewed on her thumbnail through a grin, awed by how comfortable Trixie seemed onstage, even though she knew it wasn’t the case.  She settled in, slumping down slightly against the pew & pulling her legs up into the empty space beside her as Trixie pulled her glasses down from atop her head & picked up the first book.

 


 

 

Going to the bar after readings was a program tradition, but Katya usually dipped out as soon as whoever the visiting writer was assured her they’d take an Uber back to their hotel at the end of the night.  She was used to dealing with two types of guests— stuffy middle aged men who preferred to head straight back after one drink or young hipsters who wanted to stay out, drinking with grad students until they ended up totally plastered.  Trixie, however, was neither.

After the reading, Katya had driven a very peppy Trixie to the long strip of college bars— the kind that served dollar jello shots & grossly oversized pitchers of Labatt while blasting Top 40 hip hop— & led her toward their designated meeting point, The Forester.  It was the only bar on the strip that served a full menu late into the night, & paired with its extensive craft beer list, it was a popular hangout for the 20-something crowd.

When the two of them walked in, they were met with a flurry of waves from the huge round booth in the corner— there were a couple of faculty members, but mostly her classmates, apparently ready to pretend to like Katya for the night.  “I hate this,” Katya whispered to Trixie through gritted teeth.

“Me, too,” Trixie whispered back through a fake smile as she waved at the group.  “Drink?”

“Yes, please !” Katya sighed, relieved by the suggestion.  Trixie looped her arm through Katya’s & pushed through the small crowd up to the bar, tackily illuminated with green lights shining through empty liquor bottles along the wall.  “Are you a beer drinker?” she asked Trixie as they waited to catch a bartender’s eye.

“Eh.  I usually just drink vodka sodas, but I’m open.”

“Gotta keep that girlish figure, you famous author, you,” Katya elbowed her in the waist with a giggle.

“Oh, yeah, totally!  My greatest life concern: random men on Reddit finding my body satisfactory!” she stuck her tongue out at Katya.  Katya grinned at her, but looked away shyly when Trixie winked in response. “You a beer person?” she asked after a moment.

“Um, yeah, kinda.  Not much else to do around here but become an expert,” Katya snorted.

“Tell me what to get, then!”

Katya eyed the giant menu on the wall behind the bar, scanning the 60-some beers for something she thought might appease Trixie’s taste buds.  “Wanna get one of the flights?” she pointed at the racks of tiny glasses. “That way if you don’t like something, I can steal it from you?”

“Ha!” Trixie squealed.  “Sure! I trust your judgment… just nothing too heavy?”

Katya nodded & flagged down the bartender, a young girl with sleeve tattoos & wild curly hair, & picked four beers for Trixie— an IPA, a sour, a cider, & a blonde ale.  “Hopefully you like these…” she smiled.

Trixie reached into her bag to retrieve her wallet & Katya held her hand up.  “I’d feel like shit if I got you to pay for these & you hated them!”

Trixie waved her off, “Oh, hush,” she smirked, handing the bartender a ten.

Katya carried the small wooden rack, containing the various styles of beer, over to the table, leaving Trixie free to shake hands with everyone as she sat down, giving copious Oh, thanks so much! & I really appreciate it! & That’s so cool! replies in response to the praise they heaped on her.

No one spoke to Katya, aside from asking her what beers she’d gotten.  “They’re Trixie’s!” she spoke up over the cross-current of conversation.

“Oh, yeah!  Which one do I do first?” she turned to Katya, facing all her attention towards her.

“Um, maybe this one?” she picked up the blonde ale & handed it to her, purposefully letting the tips of her fingers play against the back of Trixie’s hand.  “It’s less likely to mess with your palate.”

Trixie nodded & took a small sip.  “It tastes like… sweet… air,” she laughed.  Katya giggled & watched Trixie’s lips curl around the glass as she took a larger swig.  “I could handle this.” Trixie extended it to Katya for a taste, & Katya had to look away as Trixie’s eyes bored into her, gauging her reaction to it.  She nodded curtly, sliding the glass back to Trixie, who swallowed the rest of it. “Which one now?”

Katya walked her through the cider (“too sweet,” Trixie complained, but she drank it nonetheless), the sour (“it’s like a liquid Warhead!”), & eventually handed her the IPA.  “This smells like bong water,” Trixie whispered loudly to her. Katya choked on her own spit & covered her mouth to hide her cough as she watched Trixie take a tentative sip. “Yep, tastes like it, too,” she dramatically gagged.  “You get this one!” she thrust it at Katya, squinting her eyes in disgust.

Katya howled with laughter, gulping the beer down in one swallow.  Thankfully, people were starting to break off into smaller groups to play pool or carry on side conversations, turning the noise level of their immediate surroundings down quite a bit.  “Do I have to mingle?” Trixie whispered into Katya’s ear.

She shrugged.  “Probably? I dunno?”

“I’ll give it five minutes,” she giggled into Katya’s hair.

“I’ll buy you a drink to repay you for your bravery,” she grinned, suddenly acutely aware that their faces were only a couple of inches apart.  Trixie’s eyes shot down to Katya’s lips, then back up, & Katya lowered hers slightly, peering at Trixie through her messy bangs. The two of them didn’t speak, both frozen in the intensity of the moment, until someone called Trixie’s name from behind the booth.

She cleared her throat anxiously & turned her head.  “Yeah?”

“I wanted to ask you about the Vermont Studio Center residency!” one of the fiction professors called from where she stood around a cocktail table with a couple of other faculty members.

Trixie patted Katya’s thigh, motioning her to scoot out of the booth, & Katya swallowed loudly.  “Oh, um, sorry, here…” she mumbled, standing up to let Trixie free. Trixie smiled kindly at Katya & made her way over to the group of women chatting amongst themselves.

Katya took the chance to escape to the patio for a cigarette & texted Courtney:   This is so awkward!

Wait, why? she immediately replied.

Idk, she’s so popular!

Duh!

I feel dumb… this shit is intimidating!

Three dots appeared on the screen, then disappeared.  Katya chewed on the inside of her lip between drags on her cigarette, waiting on the reply.   When have you ever been intimidated by a woman in your life, you whore?!

Never… but only because I’ve never been around one like this!  Katya added a laughing emoji.

Where is she?

Inside talking to some professors… & I’m just here being antisocial outside.

Bitch, go back in there RIGHT THIS MINUTE.

Katya sent a line of middle-finger emojis, but then quickly sent a second text:   I’m goingggggg.   She finished her cigarette, leaning over the railing & watching drunk college kids wander by, screaming about things she couldn’t quite make out.  As Katya weaved through the smokers & went back inside, her eyes immediately locked on Trixie, bent over with her elbows on the table & nodding along with whatever the faculty members were saying, punctuating her responses with wild hand gestures.  She ordered two vodka sodas with lime & hovered against the wall for a moment, sipping hers through the tiny straw, until she saw Trixie stand up straighter & glance around the room.

Katya held the drink up slightly as Trixie found her with her eyes, nodding almost imperceptibly at her.  She watched as she made an escape from the group & shuffled her way over to her. “Thanks,” she smiled, taking the cold, wet glass from Katya.  She steadied the straw with her fingers as she took a sip. Katya leaned back against the brick wall, trying to look casual. “They’re so full of questions!” Trixie motioned with her head toward the group.

“Oh, yeah, you can’t shut Bradford up.  Imagine being in a workshop with her.”

“I don’t want to!” Trixie screeched, leaning back against the wall beside Katya.  “This is good—” she pushed the straw aside & took a gulp of her drink.

“I didn’t know what vodka you liked, so I just got Absolut?”

“Oooh, you fancy!” she teased.  “I’m used to well vodka, to be honest!”

“Oooh, you trashy!” Katya mocked her.

“White trash through & through!” Trixie raised her glass, clinking it against Katya’s, the two of them swigging the majority of their drinks in one fell swoop.  After a few seconds, Trixie bumped Katya’s shoulder with her own.

“What?” Katya smirked.

“Wanna get outta here?”

“You ready to head back?” Katya asked.

Trixie shook her head.  “Not really. Show me the town!”

Katya rolled her eyes.  “This is the town… unless you’re into fruity bombs or jello shots.”

“Um, always! ” Trixie exaggerated.

Katya laughed.  “Your wish is my command… but don’t say I didn’t warn you!”

“Duly noted, fully warned, still curious.”  Trixie chugged her drink & set it down on a nearby table.  Katya followed suit. “Should I, like, say goodbye or something?”

“Ehhhh.”

“Agreed!” Trixie giggled.  “Is there a back door or something?”  Katya pointed down the narrow hallway past the restrooms & Trixie nodded, letting Katya lead the way.  The heavy door swung open to the cool night air of the back alley, & Trixie took a deep breath. “Aaaaah!” she sighed.

“So what are you in the mood for?” Katya asked, setting the pace down the alley & toward the strip.

Trixie glanced at Katya out of the corner of her eye to see if she was looking at her, but she was staring straight ahead, navigating the way around stray puddles & beer cans.  “Whatever you’re in the mood for,” she answered, keeping her voice steady.

Katya chuckled nervously.  “Um… I’ll show you the frattiest we have to offer.”

“Perfect, we can, like, totally pass as sorority girls, right?  Like, all the Aidens & Braydens will be so into it!” she chirped in her Valley Girl voice.

“Don’t forget the Haydens!” Katya mimicked.

“Oh, my goddddd, the Haydenssssss!” Trixie sing-songed.

Once they’d been slapped with neon pink wristbands at the door, Katya pushed through a group of bros who had decided that right inside the door was the best place to stand.  She reached back for Trixie’s hand to carry her along, & Trixie laced their fingers together. Katya had to aggressively elbow her way through throngs of drunk girls in the typical Ohio “going out” outfit— lacy sundress & cowboy boots— to make it to the sticky bar.  She pulled Trixie up next to her, surprised when Trixie didn’t let go of her hand even once they were in the clear.

“Do your worst!” she yelled to Katya over the music.

“I dunno, what do you like?!”  Katya yelled back.

“Can you recommend a good shot with Fireball?  Two of them!” Trixie took matters into her own hands, hollering to the bartender.

“Trixie!” Katya gasped in shock.  “You really are a sorority girl at heart!”  She flipped her hair playfully & turned back to the bartender, who was pouring two drinks that turned out to be Fireball & Red Bull.

Katya held her breath for a few seconds before swigging it down— she hated the taste of Fireball with the passion of a thousand suns, but there was no way she was going to let Trixie know that.  She cringed & shook her head as she downed the drink, but Trixie had already finished hers, dropping the plastic cup onto the bartop with a hollow thud. “I’ll drink you under the table, bitch,” Trixie joked.

“Probably!” Katya sputtered through the taste of the cinnamon whiskey.  Trixie tossed a few more dollars at the bartender. “You like to dance?” she asked Katya.  The look on Katya’s face said it all. “Okay, I take that as a no!” Trixie screeched. “Wanna go somewhere & talk?”

Katya nodded.  “I need something to get that fucking taste out of my mouth first.”  She stepped up onto the metal railing at the foot of the bar, letting her lean over the top of it to catch a bartender’s attention.  “Can I get a Red Bull & a water?” She passed the tall cup of water to Trixie & laid a five on the bar as the bartender popped the top to her drink.

The two of them weaved through the crowd of sweaty bodies to the back of the bar, where a few mostly-empty, torn-up booths were stashed.  Trixie slid in next to Katya, careful not to let the jagged fake leather material snag her dress. After only a few minutes of small talk, mostly the two of them complaining about various writers they hated, two squealing girls interrupted them.

“Oh my god, Katyaaaaaa!”  they slid into the booth across from her & Trixie.

“Oh, hi,” Katya greeted them nervously.

“I miss your claaasssssss!” the other girl whined nasally.

Trixie bit back a laugh & interjected, “Katya was your teacher?” she turned to them, eyes wide.

“Yeah, she’s the besssssssssttttt,” the brunette holding an unholy-looking neon blue drink slurred.

“You’re clearly drunk if you think that,” Katya snorted.

“No, oh my god !”  They turned their attention to Trixie.  “She’s literally the best!  Our class was at 8:30 & she let us come at 9 instead!”

Katya held a finger to her mouth.  “Shhhh, you weren’t supposed to tell anybody that!” she laughed.

Trixie giggled & reached under the table to grab Katya’s knee.  “Is she as terrible at teaching as she is at following rules?” she taunted.

The girls broke into melodramatically hysterical laughter.  “She’s, like, literally SO good! She spent so much time helping us all revise our essays!”

Katya sipped her Red Bull through a polite smile as Trixie inched her hand up her thigh.  “Was it a comp class?” Trixie carried on the conversation as if nothing unusual was happening on their side of the booth.

“Yeah, just 110, but she was so much better than the teacher my roommate had!  She would borrow my notes all the time because teacher sucked ass!”

“Why aren’t you teaching anymooooooore,” the tall redhead whined.

“Oh, um,” Katya coughed as Trixie squeezed her inner thigh, massaging it softly.  “I, uh, I got a different position in the department.”

“That sucks!” one of the girls pouted.  “We wanted to take you for 120!”

“Aww, that’s nice of you,” Katya grinned, afraid to say too many words & expose how flustered she was by Trixie pawing at her leg, getting dangerously close to the bend in her hip.

“Is 120 just the next level?” Trixie asked, feigning a cool amount of interest in their course structures.

“Mmhmmm, it’s, like, harder, & it really sucks because the portfolio has to be longer!”  the girl sucked noisily through her straw.

“Well, I bet you’ll do fine!  Katya clearly gave you—” she paused a second, trailing her fingers in a featherlight touch all the way up the inside of Katya’s thigh to the junction of her legs.  Katya hoped beyond all hope that Trixie couldn’t feel her trembling beneath her touch. “—a really good foundation of the basics,” she finished, looking straight ahead at the girls.

“Yeah, totally!” the brunette agreed.  “Anyway! We just wanted to say hi!”

Katya cleared her throat, “Yeah, thanks… good to see you guys,” she said quietly, forcing a calm smile onto her face.  As they wiggled out of the booth & returned to the dance floor, Trixie pulled her hand up to fluff at the back of her own hair where it lay on her neck & smiled innocently.

Katya sat in stunned silence for a few seconds before she turned to Trixie.  “I fuckin’ hate you,” she wheezed.

“Do you, now?” Trixie sipped her water, raising an eyebrow at her.

“Absolutely,” she laughed.  “You’re such a tease.”

“Am not!”  Trixie finished her water & set the cup down on the dingy table.

“Is that so?” Katya smirked skeptically.

“I am many things!” Trixie giggled.  “A tease is not one of them. I have follow through, bitch.”

Katya chugged her Red Bull.  “Interesting…” she taunted her.  “Do you have follow through in getting me a drink or do I have to do that myself?”

“Wow, rude!” Trixie joked.  Katya grinned in response. “Fine, but I’m getting you the most disgusting sounding thing they have.”

“It’s what I deserve.  Disgusting is my entire brand.”

Trixie rolled her eyes as she stood from the booth.  “ Innnnnnnterestinggggggg… ” she mocked Katya, turning to walk to the bar, an exaggerated sway in her hips.

Katya quickly yanked out her phone & texted Courtney:   Bitch, this shit is happening .

Told you!  What’s going on????

Went to Doghouse.

Why would you take her there?!!

She said she wanted trashy.

OH MY GOD.  Is it just you two?

Yeah, just us two & a couple hundred douchebags.  But she’s handsy, sooooo…

I expect a phone call tomorrow, you fuckin’ slut.

Katya stashed her phone back in her pocket as Trixie made her way back over to the booth, two bright pink drinks in hand.  “This looks more like your brand than mine,” Katya laughed, taking one from her.

“Pink & disgusting— something for both of us,” Trixie giggled, scooting back in next to Katya, closer this time so their legs touched.

“So…” Trixie asked once she’d gotten settled.

“Yeah?”  Katya raised an eyebrow at her over the rim of her glass.

“Tell me about you…” Trixie linked her ankle with Katya’s under the table.

“What do you wanna know?”

“I dunno… a secret.  Tell me a secret?”

Katya laughed.  “I don’t really have many… I’m kind of an open book.  It’s why most of this program hates me.”

“Hmmm…” Trixie smirked, cheeks turning the same color as her drink.  “Tell me something naughty.”

Katya pulled Trixie’s ankle tighter against hers, wrapping their calves together.  “Well, I let my students start class half an hour late because I didn’t wanna get up?” she whispered in an exaggerated sexual voice.

“Ooooh, hot ,” Trixie whispered.

“Your turn,” Katya whispered, leaning in close.

“Sometimes…” Trixie hesitated, glancing around, “I eat peanut butter out of the jar with my fingers.”

Katya licked her lips dramatically & pulled her leg up so her thigh was thrown over Trixie’s knee.  “Ooooh, tell me another…” she whispered.

Trixie reached down & stroked the top of Katya’s thigh where it lay on top of hers.  Her eyes narrowed, still locked with Katya’s as she leaned in closer, their lips only inches apart.  “I’ve been horny all night.”

Katya swore her heart stopped, but she tried not to show it.  “Hmmmm…” she scooted up so she was straddling Trixie’s bare leg.  “Really?”

“Really…” Trixie was almost whispering directly against Katya’s lips.

“Why?” Katya took the bait, seeing how far she could push her.

“Mmmmm…” Trixie hummed, pulling Katya up onto her lap, her knees planted on either side of her hips.  She let her eyes shameless flutter down to Katya’s see-through top & exposed black bra, then slowly back up to meet her gaze.  Katya nervously stroked Trixie’s upper arm with one hand, causing her to smirk. Trixie grabbed onto Katya’s muscular thighs with both hands, pulling her down into her with a heavy exhale.  As one hand trailed up her thigh, further & further, Katya rolled her hips downward into the palm of Trixie’s hand, maintaining eye contact with her all the while. Trixie’s lips parted in a tiny moan as she felt Katya’s warmth through her pants.

“You look good like that,” Trixie’s voice was uncharacteristically low.

“Like what?” Katya teased, pushing once more into Trixie’s hand.

Trixie wrapped her free hand around Katya’s lower back to steady her.  “On top of me,” she purred.

“Yeah?”  She drew her hand up the side of Trixie’s neck until it came to rest cupping her cheek.

Trixie nodded softly & squirmed beneath Katya, suddenly acutely aware of how turned on she was as she shifted her thighs in an attempt to relieve some of the tension.  Katya felt her move & smirked. “You okay there?” she teased.

“I dunno, am I?”  she took Katya’s hand from her cheek & reached it down between them.  Even without lifting her dress, Katya could feel the heat radiating from Trixie’s thighs.  She shifted her body weight back slightly, giving her access to creep her hand up Trixie’s short dress & slide two fingers down the front of her panties.  Trixie gasped sharply at Katya’s touch. “Nope, I’m definitely not okay,” she breathed with a giggle.

“That’s too bad,” Katya clicked her tongue, pulling Trixie’s dress back down to cover her thighs.

“It really is…” Trixie moaned.  Katya looked down at her hungrily, biting the corner of her lip as her eyes took in her exposed cleavage & flushed cheeks.  Her hands wrapped behind Trixie’s neck, twirling pieces of her thick blonde hair for a moment before Trixie pulled Katya forward by the shoulders, tilting her face until it was even with her own.

“What?” Katya smiled knowingly.

“You’re bad…” she whispered.

“Nuh-uh,” Katya grinned.

“I think you are…” Trixie pulled her face the rest of the way into hers, kissing her softly.  Katya groaned quietly into Trixie’s mouth, grabbing onto her hair, causing Trixie to giggle. Trixie teased the fingertips of one hand across Katya’s collarbone, then stroked firmly at her neck before wrapping her hand teasingly around it, squeezing slightly as they kissed.  Katya moaned embarrassingly loudly & pulled away with blown out pupils staring down at her.

“You like that, huh?” Trixie purred.  Katya could only lick her lips & try to remember how to breathe normally in response.  After a few seconds, she managed a nod & Trixie whispered, “Up.” She playfully swatted Katya’s ass as she stood from the booth, looking at her expectantly.

“Can you drive?” she whispered, voice throaty & rough.

Katya nodded.  Without another word, they pushed through sweaty, gyrating bodies & made their way to the front door as if they were parting the Red Sea.  No one else seemed to exist to either of them— it was just Trixie, Katya, & their desperate rush to the car. They drove to Trixie’s hotel without a word, only Katya drumming her thumb anxiously against the steering wheel & Trixie shaking one knee where it sat crossed over the other.

Pulling into a parking spot, Katya turned to look at Trixie & grinned widely, causing Trixie to burst into laughter.  “You’re a dork!”

“I never pretended to be anything else,” Katya laughed, turning the car off.  Trixie slung her purse over her shoulder & climbed out first, leaving Katya along just long enough for her to take a deep breath.  They walked side by side through the lobby & rode the elevator silently, without touching, up to the fourth floor. After Trixie slid her card into the reader with a click , she pushed the door open for Katya to enter first.  She glanced over at the king sized bed still neatly made, the dresser with Trixie’s pink carry-on bag unzipped atop it, & the discarded dress from earlier slung over the back of a chair.

Trixie locked the door behind them & flipped on the light switch, twisting the dimmer to low .  “Fancy,” Katya murmured.

“Oh, very.”  Trixie pulled her glasses from her hair & set them on the table.

Katya emptied her pockets, mainly just for something to do, lying her keys, cards, cigarettes, & phone next to Trixie’s glasses, & wiping her sweaty palms on her pants.  “So…” she laughed.

“You seem nervous.”  The concern in Trixie’s voice touched her.  “You okay?”

“Very, very okay,” Katya nodded enthusiastically as Trixie stripped off her pink blazer & draped it over the dress.  “I meant to tell you… you look so beautiful,” Katya stammered.

A blush crept across Trixie’s full cheeks.  “You’re so sweet, kitten.” Katya bit the corner of her lip— that nickname again.  Trixie slowly wrapped her arms around Katya’s waist. “I like when you do that.”

“What?”

“Bite your lip like that.”  Katya reflexively did it again.  Trixie slid her hands beneath the waist of Katya’s shirt, letting them crawl up her back & pull her close.  “It makes me wanna wreck you,” she whispered, squeezing Katya’s bare sides with both hands.

“Do it,” Katya challenged her firmly, staring into her eyes.

Trixie didn’t miss a beat, roughly crashing her lips into Katya’s & wrapping her arms around her tiny waist before reaching up to unhook her bra beneath her see-through shirt.  She let it fall free onto the rough carpet, & broke the kiss only to push Katya backwards toward the bed. “That’s fucking hot,” she breathed, seeing her small pink nipples poking through her top.  She leaned Katya back over the foot of the bed, groping her breasts & drawing tiny gasps from her.

She wedged herself between Katya’s legs, Katya kicking her boots & socks off & instinctively wrapping her thighs around Trixie’s body to hold her close.  “You okay with this?” Trixie peered down at her.

“Yes,” Katya answered strongly.  “I want you to do anything you want to me.”  Trixie’s eyes flickered with fire as she unbuttoned Katya’s pants, yanking them down forcefully.

“Anything I want?” Trixie breathed.

“Anything.”

She yanked Katya’s thighs apart, shoving a hand roughly up her shirt to palm her bare breast.  “Is that a challenge?”

“If you want it to be,” Katya taunted.  She knew she was being a tease, but she was curious to see how worked up she could get Trixie before she snapped.

“What if I want to call you my little cumslut?” Trixie’s voice was husky, dangerous-sounding.

“Then do it.”

She lazily ran her hand down the front of Katya’s already soaked-through panties.  “What if I want to slap that pretty little face of yours? Hmmmm?” She leaned down & caressed Katya’s cheek for a moment before squeezing upwards on the side of her throat.  Katya’s lips parted in a silent gasp at the slight pressure. Her other hand slid down the front of Katya’s panties, two fingers thrusting roughly into her with no warning. “Or what if I wanna make you come so hard you cry & soak the sheets for the maid to find tomorrow?”

“Please,” Katya whimpered.  “Do it. Do it.”

“Tell me if you want me to stop,” Trixie whispered, suddenly serious & stilling her fingers.  “‘Kay?”

“I will,” Katya promised.  Trixie pushed forcefully into her once more before dragging her wet fingers up the length of Katya’s lips & up over her clit, teasing the faint blonde curls below the waistband of her panties.

Trixie shoved her fingers into Katya’s mouth, groaning as she circled her lips around them, sucking them clean with wide, hungry eyes.  Pulling a hairtie from her wrist, Trixie threw her thick waves into a loose ponytail before leaning down to gently kiss Katya, faintly tasting her on her lips.  When she stood back up between her legs, Katya pleaded, “Let me see you, Trix.”

Trixie smiled sweetly, reaching back to unzip her dress & nudging the straps from her shoulders, leaving her exposed in a matching pale pink lace bra & panty set.  “Jesus,” Katya sighed. “Come here.”

Trixie crawled up Katya’s body, straddling her stomach as she unbuttoned Katya’s shirt torturously slowly.  Katya reached up to cup Trixie’s breasts that were beginning to spill out the top of her bra, & whined as she felt their warm weight in her hands.  “You’re a fuckin’ dream,” Katya murmured. Trixie pulled Katya’s shirt open, letting it fall to either side & expose her small breasts & tight stomach.  She shivered as Trixie leaned down to kiss her chest & all around her breasts, teasingly avoiding her aching nipples until she barely swirled the pad of her finger over one, causing Katya to hiss loudly.

“Look at you,” Trixie tsk-ed with a shake of her head.  “All splayed out naked in a stranger’s hotel room…” She nipped at Katya’s breast with her teeth.  “Practically begging for me to fuck you…” Katya felt the heat rise in her cheeks & across her chest as Trixie reprimanded her.  She leaned back against Katya’s bare stomach & bored her eyes into hers. “What would they think of you back home, huh? Their precious angel…”  Her brown eyes narrowed as she leaned forward toward Katya’s face, grabbing her chin & forcing her to sustain eye contact. “I know you’re just a disgusting little slut.”

Katya gulped a huge breath of air, clenching her thighs together at how wet Trixie’s words made her.  “Only for you,” she whispered into Trixie’s eyes.

“Hmmmm… only for me?”  Trixie pushed the sleeves from Katya’s arms, tossing her shirt aside.  “Are you sure about that?” She leaned down & launched her teeth into Katya’s neck, causing her to gasp.  Katya’s hands reached up to steady Trixie’s head in place as she sucked violently up the length of her neck.  “That’s what you want, huh?” Her lips vibrated against her skin as she spoke. “You want me to leave marks on you?  Show the entire world how much of a filthy little girl you are?”

Katya nodded, chin knocking softly against the top of Trixie’s head.  “Please. I’m yours…” she panted. “Prove it… show me I belong to you.”

Trixie widened her lips & sucked hard enough against Katya’s neck that she was sure she could feel the blood vessels breaking.  Katya squirmed into the pain as Trixie pulled her lips back with a low pop & then bit sharply down on the wound she’d created.  Tears pricked at Katya’s eyes as Trixie soothed the bruise with a gentle kiss & moved back up to her lips, kissing softly.  “You wanna belong to me?” Trixie taunted.

“Yes,” Katya whispered.

“Mmmm, my little kitten…” she kissed up her sharp cheekbone to her temple, gently pushing her sweaty hair back from her face.  “You just want me to take care of you, huh?” Katya nodded, running her hands lazily up & down Trixie’s shoulder blades. “Make you feel good?” she murmured, sliding back down her body & hoisting Katya further up the bed by her hips.

“Trixie… please…” Katya whimpered.

“So needy,” Trixie shook her head disapprovingly as she slowly pulled Katya’s panties down her thighs, stroking her palms down her calves as she tossed them to the floor.  “Hmmmm, I see why… you’re so wet, baby.” Trixie laid down on her stomach & settled her head between Katya’s thighs, pulling her feet up on other side of her to spread her legs wider.  She left a teasing peck against her opening, pulling back with wet lips & licking them clean. When Trixie flattened her tongue & thrust it inside of Katya, she reflexively arched up against her mouth with a shameless moan.  Trixie giggled. “Be patient, Katya.”

She used one hand to open Katya up, licking long stripes up her newly exposed skin, using her tongue & lips to make sure every inch of her was soaking wet.  Trixie pushed her own hips down into the plush comforter, aching to ease the throbbing between her own legs as she sucked softly on Katya’s clit, slipping two fingers inside of her as she did.  “Fuck… god, Trixie… please…” Katya whimpered.

“You like to beg?” she mumbled against her.  “Beg.” She pulled her mouth & fingers away & leaned up on her elbows to see her face.  Katya looked stunned, but thoroughly fucked out. “If you want it, you have to beg like the filthy little brat you are.”

“Please, Trixie, please.  I need your tongue, please.”  Trixie put a finger to her chin as if she was considering it.  “Just fuck me & I’ll come so good for you,” she whimpered. “I promise.”

“How sure are you?”

“I’m so sure… I’m so fuckin’ horny, please… I want to come for you.”

Trixie lazily teased a single finger down Katya’s wetness.  “Hmmm… how hard do you think you can come?” Katya scrunched up her face in frustration.  “Do you think you can come…” Trixie leaned down to slip two fingers into Katya, curling them up against her g-spot & rubbing harshly.  “Like this?” Katya nodded furiously, hair bobbing up & down. “Or like this?” Trixie flicked her tongue back & forth across Katya’s aching clit.

“Oh, fuck…” Katya hissed, Trixie’s fingers still pulling tightly against her g-spot.

“You’re such a slut, I bet you’ve been thinking about coming all over my face all day,” Trixie moaned into her.

“I have,” Katya admitted shamelessly, one hand pulling her own hair, the other clenching the sheets beneath her.  “I wanna do it.”

Trixie’s fingers slid in & out of Katya with a heavy, wet sound as her tongue swirled around her clit.  Katya felt the pressure building in her lower stomach & knew exactly what it meant— she usually only felt it when she was alone with a vibrator, but Trixie was a hundred times better than any toy.  “Trixie, I— stay in—” she breathlessly pleaded, & Trixie smirked, drawing her mouth back slightly to watch her fingers thrust fully into her & stay there, curling up & flicking deep inside of her, rubbing against her swollen g-spot.

Katya lifted her hips up from the bed, chasing Trixie’s fingers, & felt all the air leave her lungs as her thigh muscles went rigid.  “ Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck —” she screamed so loudly she was sure the neighbors heard her.

Trixie moaned & canted her own squirming hips down into the mattress as Katya came hard , a warm stream of liquid spilling down onto the comforter & spraying out between Trixie’s fingers, droplets hitting her mouth & cheeks.  “Jesus,” Trixie breathed, licking her lips & sliding her fingers out of Katya, smacking them softly against her clit. “You made a mess, kitten.”

Katya was heaving for breath, cheeks & chest bright red.  Trixie slid her thumb up over Katya’s clit, & she yanked her hips away.  “Too— sensitive—” she gasped.

Trixie giggled patronizingly.  “Aw, you think you get to be a dirty little girl & come all over me & then tell me what to do?”

Katya stared down at her, eyes so dilated they looked nearly black.  “Trixie—” she cried out as she shoved two fingers back into her, twisting them back & forth against her swollen walls.  “Trixie, I can’t!” She squirmed beneath her.

“Shhhh, yes, you can.  Don’t you wanna be all filled up?”  Katya nodded in spite of herself. “Then let me fill you up… you’re my little fuck toy, remember… & I’m not done playing with you.”  Trixie’s voice was insistent, yet somehow warmly encouraging.

Katya nodded.  “Yes… please…” she breathed.

“Here, sit up.”  Trixie crawled up the bed & sat in a v-shape, pulling Katya into her lap.  She reached down to plunge two fingers into her. “Sit.” Katya eased down onto Trixie’s fingers, riding them slowly at first, then bouncing forcefully.  Trixie wrapped a hand around her lower back to hold her up as she fucked herself on her fingers.

“God, you’re pretty…” Trixie praised her.  “You ready for more?” Katya, totally blissed out, managed a shaky nod.  Trixie pulled her soaking wet fingers out of her & ran them up between her ass, watching Katya’s face closely as she teased her.

“I want it,” Katya moaned, answering the question Trixie hadn’t yet asked.

“I know you do… you’re so fucking filthy, I knew you’d want me to fuck your pretty little ass.  I could tell.”

“I do,” she whined.  “I do.”

Katya held still as Trixie slid one finger into her, then quickly added another.  “Tell me how it feels, kitten.”

“Good… tight… fuck…” Katya clenched her eyes closed, focusing on the stretch & new fullness.  

Trixie pulled her all the way up into her lap.  “You gotta steady yourself,” she warned her, reaching down to slip two fingers from her other hand inside her still-dripping wet entrance.

Jesus! ”  Katya cried out, leaning her weight into Trixie’s chest & neck as she fucked her with both hands.  After a few seconds of getting her bearings, Katya thrusted backward onto Trixie’s fingers, riding all of them.

“That’s my girl,” Trixie purred at her.  “Yeah… make yourself feel good, baby… you look so pretty all full like that…”  Katya whimpered hard & squeezed her eyes shut as she felt another orgasm wracking her body.  “Look at me,” Trixie firmly demanded.

Katya forced her eyes open & stared into Trixie’s just as Trixie let her thumb drift up to rub roughly at her clit.  Trixie’s mouth hung open in awe as she felt Katya come around her fingers, clenching tightly & crying out, a few tears escaping her eyes as she kept them locked on Trixie’s.

As she rode out her orgasm on Trixie’s fingers, she leaned forward into, resting her face in the crook of her neck, & brokenly gasp-crying.  “My nose is running!” she whined with a laugh, causing Trixie to crack up.

“I’ll get you a Kleenex, baby, here— sit up.”  Katya propped herself up on her knees so Trixie could pull out of her.  She flopped back onto the bed, hair sticking out wildly, as Trixie padded to the bathroom.  Katya heard the water turn on & heard Trixie washing her hands. She brought back a wet washcloth along with a tissue.  “Here, sweetie,” she handed her the Kleenex, then gently dabbed under Katya’s eyes & down her neck, over the blossoming bruises with the cold cloth.  “Better?”

Katya nodded & grinned.  “That was intense.”

“You okay?”

Katya laughed out loud.  “So far beyond okay, you have no fucking idea!  Now get over here!” She sat up on her knees & grabbed Trixie in a passionate kiss.

Trixie giggled as she let herself be grabbed & flung onto the bed.  Katya climbed on top of her, straddling her hips as she unhooked Trixie’s front-clasp bra & threw it across the room.  “Let me tell you how long I’ve dreamed of this…” Katya murmured with a smirk, Trixie’s arms thrown up above her head, along with her blonde hair, fanning out around her like a halo.

“How long?” Trixie teasingly prodded.

“Mmmmm… ages.”  Katya leaned down & cupped Trixie’s breasts, pushing them up as she sucked on one nipple with a moan.

“Did you…” Trixie gasped as Katya expertly swirled her tongue across her nipple, flicking hard against it.  “Ever think about me…”

“When?” Katya’s sounds vibrated across Trixie’s soft breast.

“Did you fuck yourself thinking about me?”

“Oh, mama,” Katya laughed.  “Did I ever!” She pinched Trixie’s other nipple before squeezing both breasts roughly.

“Tell me what you thought about.”  Trixie pushed her hips up into Katya’s bare backside.

“Mmmmmm…”’ Katya murmured, kissing up her collarbone, then up the inside of her outstretched arm.

“Tell me,” Trixie reached down & roughly grabbed Katya’s face, forcing her to look at her.  “I wanna hear what you did.” Katya stared hungrily at her, knowing she was taunting her, pushing her, but she stayed silent.  Trixie flipped Katya over, holding her down on the bed by both shoulders. “Gonna tell me yet?”

Katya’s eyes narrowed deviously.  “Nope.”

Trixie slid a hand over to Katya’s throat, pressing her down hard with the palm of her hand.  She knew to avoid her windpipe, but she applied enough pressure to make sure Katya felt it. “Not gonna tell me now?”  Katya shook her head as much as she could under Trixie’s grasp. Trixie knew she was fucking with her, but she secretly loved Katya’s brattiness.  She pressed up harder.

Katya smirked widely, just to provoke Trixie, who let go of her throat & slapped her across the cheek.  Katya’s mouth hung open in a half-smile, half-gasp as she refused to break eye contact with Trixie, whose eyes sparkled with power.  “Tell me, Katya,” she snarled.

“Nope,” Katya’s voice was cheerful, playful.  Trixie slapped her across the face again, harder this time.  Katya felt the stinging aftermath, but refused to grant Trixie the satisfaction of seeing her reach up to soothe it.  Katya’s eyes widened & the corners of her lips curled up into a taunting smirk. Trixie shoved a hand into Katya’s hair, pulling it hard, & kissed her violently.

“I bet it’s something totally fucking disgusting, isn’t it?” she growled against her lips.  “You don’t even wanna tell me because it’s so embarrassing.” Katya shook her head, reaching her hands up to embrace Trixie’s shoulders, pulling her down onto her as they kissed.  Trixie grinded her hips into Katya’s, desperate for friction through her panties.

“We know you’re a whore who likes to get hit & choked…” Trixie started the list.  “You like to get fucked in the ass…” She kissed Katya between suggestions. Katya pulled Trixie’s hips down against her, bucking up into them as they grinded together.  “You like to hear how much of a filthy brat you are…” Katya moaned. “I bet you like to get spanked, too…” Katya nodded, keeping her lips hooked with Trixie’s.

“Hmmmm…”  Trixie hummed through the kiss, letting Katya thread her fingers beneath the lace of her panties to grip her ass.  “I’m running out of ideas…” she whined. Katya reached up to slide Trixie’s thin panties off, tossing them to the end of the bed, & reached down to rub her clit between them.  Trixie inhaled sharply. “Are you gonna tell me?”

“Uh-uh,” Katya mumbled into her mouth.

“I wanna knowwwww…” Trixie whimpered as Katya drew circles into her clit with three fingers.

“No,” Katya grinned.  

Trixie yanked her pelvis back from Katya’s fingers with a groan.  “Guess I just won’t let you see me come, then,” she said firmly, reaching down to press a hand to her own wetness, covering herself from Katya’s view.

“Let me…” Katya pleaded.  Trixie swiped her hand between her legs & thrust three fingers into Katya’s mouth.

“Nope, gotta shut you up until you tell me.”  Katya bobbed her head, sucking Trixie’s fingers down to the knuckle & back up, over & over.  “Let’s see..” Trixie thought, raising an eyebrow as she watched Katya deep-throat her hand. “Is it blood?”  Katya didn’t react. “Being tied up?” No reaction; Katya just kept sucking. “Watersports?” Katya’s eyes widened & she sucked harder, more frantically.

Trixie curled up one side of her mouth into a devious smirk.  “I think we found it,” she taunted her. Katya swallowed hard, stilling Trixie’s fingers in her mouth.  She pulled them out & leaned down to bite her bottom lip roughly. “Tell me what happens in these fantasies, Katya,” she said sternly.

Katya’s cheeks turned bright red.  Trixie straddled her, pressing her breasts against Katya’s, & whispered into her ear, “Tell me & I’ll tell you a secret.”  

Katya dug her fingers into Trixie’s bare ass cheeks & choked out, “Why?”

“Because if you belong to me, I deserve to know everything about you,” Trixie nibbled her earlobe, swirling her tongue inside before kissing the top of it.

Feeling her heart pounding, Katya moaned.  Being made to confess her biggest fantasy was humiliating, but she was also surprised by how much the humiliation was turning her on.  “I…” she started, then stalled. “I… um…”

Trixie petted her hair lovingly & whispered, “You can tell me, kitten… I’m not gonna judge you.”  Katya was awed by how Trixie could so easily slip back & forth between gentle & firm, & it made her feel strangely comfortable with her.

“I dunno…” Katya whispered, voice quivering.

“You don’t even know me,” Trixie purred into her ear.  “Isn’t it kinda hot… telling a stranger all your deepest fantasies?”  She kissed her cheekbone, snuggling into the side of her hair. “Who better to try them out with?”  Katya jolted her head over to meet Trixie’s eyes, biting the corner of her mouth to hold back an excited smile.  “There you go again…” Trixie grinned, touching her thumb to Katya’s lip where she’d just bitten it. “Tell me.”

Katya softly kissed her thumb & tried again.  “I… think about you. Us. I just want you to use me in every way,” she whispered, averting her eyes & gazing instead at Trixie’s thick hair, splayed over her shoulders & falling down on her.

“Hmmm… that’s pretty sexy,” Trixie breathed, voice barely audible.  “Just for me?” Katya nodded, feeling the flames rush across her cheeks.  “What gets you off, baby? What do we do?”

“Um, like… you just let me fuck you… & then like… you just…”  her voice trailed off. Trixie reached down between Katya’s legs & felt how wet she was all down her thighs all over again.

“Just talking about it gets you all worked up, huh?” she taunted.

Katya nodded with a grin.  Trixie glanced around the room.  “White comforter & sheets won’t do,” she mumbled.  Katya held her breath, eyes round as marbles in disbelief at what she was hearing.  Trixie climbed off of her & padded, bare feet echoing across the cheap carpet, to the bathroom.  “White towels, too,” Katya heard her mutter. Katya pushed her bangs back from her face & tried to steady her breathing.

“Come here,” Trixie called from the bathroom.  She’d turned on the warming lights to make the cold tile floor somewhat more tolerable.  The bathroom was huge, with a large porcelain bathtub & a giant lighted mirror above the sink.  Katya stood sheepishly in the doorway, legs crossed & hands behind her back, looking down at the ground.

Trixie leaned back onto the low counter, wiggling up to the edge of it.  “You better give me the best goddamn orgasm of my life after this,” she grinned wildly.  Katya’s sweaty bare feet stuck slightly to the tile as she made her way over to Trixie, standing between her legs to kiss her for a moment before kneeling, sat up high on her knees, & pressing soft kisses to the insides of Trixie’s thighs, letting her tongue linger on the faint silvery stretch marks there.

“I… I’ve never tried to do this before,” Trixie admitted.  “So no guarantees.” She giggled nervously & threaded her fingers through Katya’s hair as she leaned in to taste her.  Katya buried her face in Trixie, reveling in the smell & taste of her, & used her whole mouth to kiss as much of her as possible.

“Come here,” Katya moaned, pulling Trixie by her hips off the counter.  She laid down on the bathroom floor with her neck propped up on the side of the tub, & gently guided Trixie down on top of her.  Katya propped her knees up for Trixie to lean against & she reached down to tease her clit.

“Are you sure you’re okay with this?” Trixie moaned through the touch.

Katya laughed.  “Extremely.”

Trixie giggled & stretched her neck from side to side, leaning back to relax against Katya’s knees, & she threw her head back, closing her eyes & living in the sensation of Katya’s fingers rolling against her sensitive clit.  She relaxed her thighs as much as she could & took a deep breath. The alcohol, along with the oversized glass of water she’d chugged, had settled heavy in her bladder, & she knew now was the time if this was gonna happen.

She opened her eyes & reached down to palm one of Katya’s breasts, cupping her cheek with the other hand.  Katya gave her an eager smile & Trixie smiled back before closing her eyes & relaxing. She felt Katya’s hand slip down from her clit as she let her pelvic muscles loose with a quiet groan.  Katya’s hand rubbed messily across Trixie’s swollen lips & clit, encouraging her to keep going.

After a few seconds, Trixie shirked her initial embarrassment & opened her eyes to see Katya’s cheeks flushed bright pink, eyes blown fully out, & the tip of her tongue captured between her teeth in a grin.  “Holy fuck, Trixie, you’re so hot,” Katya whimpered. “I love this… fuck… feels so incredible…” Trixie tossed her head back once more & let go of all inhibitions, feeling the warmth flood over Katya’s rippled stomach & hearing it drip like slow rain to the tile below.  Trixie was shocked by how sexy she felt & gasped out loud.

Katya, in return, moaned like Trixie had never heard a person moan before in her life, & she was proud to have caused that sound.  She angled her hips up slightly, letting it hit Katya’s breasts & trickle back down between them. “Touch me,” Trixie breathlessly pleaded.

Katya reached up & rubbed Trixie’s clit, finding it hard to get friction, then shoved three fingers inside of her.  Trixie felt her feet slide a bit beneath her on the wet tile, & it only turned her on more. Rhythmically, Katya drew quick circles against Trixie, letting her bounce forward & back on her fingers, fucking herself blind.  “Make me come, make me come, fuck, please! Trixie’s voice shot up to a higher pitch than Katya had heard before, & she knew she was close. Katya sucked in her breath as she felt Trixie quivering around her fingers. Trixie openly screamed through her orgasm— Katya was sure that if the adjacent rooms didn’t know what was happening before, they would now— & then collapsed forward onto Katya, peppering her face with half-hearted kisses.

“You sure kept your end of the deal,” Trixie teased, nuzzling into her hair.

“Good, I’m glad,” Katya grinned, sliding down to lie flat on the floor, bringing Trixie with her.  Katya kissed Trixie’s hair & softly stroked her back as she came down, cuddling her protectively.

They laid like that, lazily breathing in one another’s hair, for a few minutes before Trixie looked innocently up at her.  “Run us a bath, kitten?”

Katya giggled.  “Of course.”













 

Chapter Text

 

 

Trixie & Katya had spent four months emailing poems & essays back & forth, exchanging silly photos via Snapchat, & occasionally getting one another off via text— usually when Trixie was holed up in some college town hotel, alone & reminiscing on the night she’d spent with Katya.

Katya told herself that the reason she hadn’t slept with— or even tried to sleep with— anyone else since Trixie was because she was just busy revising her manuscript, focusing on her thesis defense, & applying for PhD programs. She couldn’t let herself consider the fact that Trixie had her wrapped around her finger in more ways than one.

Trixie, meanwhile, was fully accepting of the circumstances. There were no grad student hookups, no Tinder dates, no nothing. She was stuck, not only on how sweet Katya’s entire body tasted, but on how open-minded she was, on how talented & self-aware she was as a writer, on the way Katya would make her light up like she was her first crush every time her name popped up on her phone.

Trixie was smitten.

Whether she was at home in Milwaukee, doing publishing events in LA, or giving craft talks to undergrads who needed extra credit, Trixie fantasized about what it’d be like to have Katya alongside her. Katya in a fancy dress on her arm, Katya in the corner making fun of overeager creative writing professors with her, Katya sitting on the floor between her legs on Christmas morning as her mom took photos.

It’s why, when Trixie got the call from her agent, the first person she needed was Katya. She didn’t even consider the time, scrolling to Katya’s name & hitting call without a second thought.

“Hello?” she picked up tentatively. Katya wasn’t a “phone person,” preferring to communicate in ways that didn’t let her mouth get ahead of her brain, so they’d only talked twice— once when Trixie was wasted & called Katya “just to hear her voice,” another when Katya had gotten in an argument with her parents about how she should just move home & give up on “the whole writing thing,” & she’d dialed Trixie’s number in desperate tears.

“Baby! Kitten!” Trixie squealed.

Katya giggled. “What’s up?”

“Are you sitting down?” The excitement was evident in Trixie’s voice.

“Yeah, I’m in bed… is everything okay?”

“More than okay!” Trixie paced back & forth in her dining room, unable to hold still.

“Oh my god, what happened?!” Katya’s voice rose an octave.

“Do you wanna come to New York with me?” Trixie spilled the question before she lost her nerve.

“What?! Why?!”

She took a deep breath, then ran together all the relevant words in half a second: “I just won the fucking Columbia Book Prize!”

“Trixie!” Katya sat straight up in bed— she hadn’t quite been sleeping, but was close to it. “Holy fucking shit! Babe!”

I know!” Trixie shrieked. “My agent just called me! The ceremony is in New York City on the 16th!”

“Of May?! That’s in less than two weeks, Trixie!”

“Come with me?” Her voice was small, pleading— sweet.

“My… I’m defending on the 13th… all my money—”

Trixie cut her off. “I’ll buy your ticket. It’s a $20,000 prize!” She was silent for a moment. “Katya…” Trixie chewed her lip nervously.

“Yeah, yeah, of course!” Katya recovered her enthusiasm. “Are you sure you want me there?”

“I wouldn’t want anybody else,” Trixie replied quietly. “Can you meet me on the 14th, maybe?”

She took a deep breath. “Yeah, I mean… I have no obligations here after I defend my thesis! Is this really happening?!”

“Bitch, it’s happening!” Trixie laughed.

“Oh my god, I’m gonna have to pick up extra editing hours. I need an outfit & like—”

Trixie interrupted her. “Shhhhh.” She let the command hang in the air for a few seconds. “Let me take care of you.”

“Trixie, I…”

“I want to,” she said firmly. “Let me treat you like you deserve, okay? We can go shopping… I’ll take you out… anything you want.”

Katya’s grin was wholly apparent in her voice. “You really fucking won, huh?!”

“I did!” Trixie shrieked. “I haven’t even told anybody else! I just got off the phone like two seconds ago!”

“Wait, really?!”

“Well, yeah… who else would I tell first?”

Katya felt her cheeks flush. “I’m so happy for you, Trix.”

“Thanks, baby… I can’t wait to see you,” Trixie’s voice dropped a bit lower.

“Yeah…” Katya drew out her syllables. “It’s gonna be amazing… I miss you.”

“I miss you, too…” Trixie whispered.

“You should probably tell everybody else the good news” Katya whispered in reply, smiling.

“I’ll buy your ticket, too. Out of Detroit?”

“Mmhmm,” she hummed contentedly.

“‘Kay, I’ll email it to you in the morning.”

“‘Kay,” Katya agreed sleepily. “I’m so proud of you, Trixie.”

“Thanks, baby. Go back to bed, okay?”

“Night,” Katya breathed into the phone.

“Night.”

Katya hung up the phone & laid it down on her bedside table, returning her head to her pillow. After a few minutes of restless consideration, she picked it back up, texting I can’t wait to be able to fall asleep in your arms again.

She scrunched her brow, worried about if she’d gone too far, said too much. Only a few seconds later, three dots appeared on the screen. It was the first thing I thought about when you agreed to come.

Katya felt her heart leap & typed back I really am so proud of you, T.

It means so much more that I get to share it with you, came the immediate reply.

Katya clenched her eyes shut for a moment, considering how honest to be, then looked back down at the screen. I think about you every night, ya know.

I think about you, too, kitten. All the time. Before Katya could reply, a second text came through. I wish you were here tonight.

She reached up & wiped a tear she hadn’t even realized had fallen until it reached her lip. I feel guilty that I’m not.

Baby, no. Knowing I get to see you soon makes everything perfect.

Katya held her phone to her chest, letting the tears fall freely. In that moment, with no GRE scores to transfer & no poems to revise, she had no distractions. It was only her, a silent apartment, & the quiet sobs that escaped her lips as she was forced to admit to herself that she had feelings— huge, terrifying, life-altering feelings— for Trixie.

You make everything perfect, Katya texted back, knowing it was too sappy, but not caring in the least.

Don’t make me cry, angel, Trixie replied. Through her blurry eyes, Katya watched as Trixie typed another text. 12 days.

12 days, Katya typed back.

Night, K, Trixie added a red heart.

Night, T, Katya copied Trixie’s emoji, then plugged her phone into the charger & rolled onto her side, pulling her knees up close to her chest & lying under her cheap IKEA comforter in the fetal position. She didn’t know whether to laugh or sob. She was so physically & emotionally exhausted that all she could do was hug her own body tight into itself & close her eyes, wondering if she could telepathically send Trixie what she was thinking— the words she knew better than to say out loud, but secretly felt with every fiber of her being.

 


 

 

For a week & a half, every time Katya had gotten anxious, she’d opened her email to stare at the flight reservation Trixie had sent her. Now, on the morning that would decide whether she got her master’s degree or not, even the promise of an imminent escape couldn’t calm her down. She’d barely slept & after waking up in a cold sweat at 6:15am, decided it wasn’t worth trying any longer. Even post- yoga, coffee, & cigarette, Katya couldn’t stop trembling.

When she stepped out of the shower, she was surprised to hear her phone vibrate on the bathroom counter. She shook her hair from side to side as if she were a wet dog & dried her hands enough to safely check it without dropping it. Don’t panic. You’re prepared & you’re gonna kill it! followed by a mess of various pink heart emojis.

How’d you know I was panicking? she texted back with two hearts, rather than Trixie’s dozen.

Because I know you. Three dots appeared, then disappeared for a moment. Remember to breathe… you’re better than anyone else there. Don’t be intimidated.

Easier said than done! Katya shuffled naked to the kitchen & microwaved a cup of water, hoping some instant oatmeal would settle her stomach.

I know… someone super smart once told me to just imagine everyone in their underwear. Trixie tacked a winking face on to the end of her message.

You’ve seen these people. Not a good plan.

Fair! Trixie was typing again. Hey, at this time tomorrow, you’ll be getting ready to get on a plane.

Katya smirked in spite of herself as the microwave beeped. Are we counting hours now?

I am.

Me too. She stirred her breakfast absent-mindedly for a minute before carrying it over to sit on the bed & eat.

Call me when you’re done?

I will, Katya added two black hearts, then paused. Thanks, T, she sent.

Always, kitten. Kick ass for me, okay?

Only for you!

Katya sighed deeply, reluctantly admitting that she did feel a lot calmer after talking to Trixie. The two of them had run over her annotated bibliography at length, Trixie emailing her practice questions to be prepared for. She reminded her to take her time considering each question before answering, to connect everything back to her own work, to sustain as much eye contact as she could. She knew she was ready, but it didn’t stop the sinking feeling in her stomach, nor the racing of her brain. What if she failed? What if she was stuck there another semester to try again? What if she blanked or threw up or passed out?

Katya closed her eyes & focused on her breathing, just like Trixie had told her to, feeling the sensation of the air pulling in through her nose & crawling out through her mouth. The rest of the morning went the same, Katya panicking & forcing herself to remember how to breathe over & over until she got to the English department building. She took the elevator up to the third floor, deciding to give her winded smoker lungs a break, & rounded the corner to the small program assistant office she had near the mailboxes. When she got there, she noticed a Post-It on her door. Come to the front desk :) She swiped it & curiously headed toward the secretary’s desk.

“Hey,” she said, waving the note. “I got this?”

Rachel, the secretary, beamed at her. “Mmhmmm, you got these— just a few minutes ago.” She swiveled her wheeled chair backward & picked up a small bouquet of flowers from the back table. Katya looked down at her feet— uncomfortably dressed in black stilettos as opposed to her regular scuffed boots— & grinned to herself. “Know who they’re from?”

Katya bit back a laugh & nodded. “Lucky lady,” Rachel clicked her tongue good-naturedly & passed them over to her.

“Thanks,” she blushed, heels tapping on the tile as she returned to her office, locking herself inside. She laughed out loud as she admired the flowers— a tiny bundle of half a dozen white lilies, stems wound together with two ribbons— one black, one pink. A small, simple note was wedged beneath the ribbons: I believe in you. T.

Katya blinked hard a few times to keep the tears she felt brimming her eyes from spilling over & screwing up her makeup. She smelled the flowers’ crisp scent & carefully untied the pink ribbon from their stems, wrapping it twice around her wrist & knotting it tightly. Checking to make sure all of her notes were in order & her slacks & blazer were straight, Katya headed down the hallway toward the meeting room, finally feeling ready to determine her own fate.

 


 

 

“Hey!” Trixie picked up the phone excitedly.

Katya was flopped back against an oak tree in the grass outside the English building, uncomfortable shoes kicked off beside her, cigarette in her mouth, ignoring the “no smoking on campus” rule. “Trixie…” her voice sounded exhausted.

“How’d it go?!”

She paused for a few seconds before laughing, “I passed!”

Trixie screeched in her ear, “Aaaahhhh, I knew you would! Congrats, honey!”

“Thanks for the flowers,” Katya blushed, resting her head on the rough bark of the tree.

“Did you like them?” Trixie’s voice lowered a bit.

“Of course. No one’s ever sent me flowers before.”

“Really? Well, I’ll make up for lost time,” Trixie giggled. “What are you gonna do tonight to celebrate?!”

Katya exhaled smoke away from the phone. “I dunno, probably nothing.”

“Babe! You have to do something… go get a drink! Go out to eat!”

“I don’t really have anybody to do that with,” Katya chuckled. “Or any money.” Trixie popped her tongue quietly a few times, as if she was thinking about something, then there was a few seconds of silence. “Trixie?”

“Yeah—” her voice sounded far off.

After a few more seconds, Katya felt her phone vibrate against her face & looked down to see a Venmo notification: Trixie Mattel has sent you $30. “Trixie, what the fuck!” she laughed.

“What?!” she giggled. “At least go to Kroger & buy yourself some nice beers or something! Or get some takeout!”

“You’re terrible,” Katya shook her head jokingly.

“No, you just deserve to not have to worry…”

“I’ll make it up to you.”

“I know you will.” Katya could hear the smirk in Trixie’s voice. “So tell me everything! How much did they ask about the trauma theory stuff?!” Katya stood up & brushed the dirt from the back of her slacks, giving Trixie the details of her defense as she walked home, carrying her shoes in one hand.

When they finally got off the phone, Katya looked at her Venmo balance & laughed out loud all over again, but decided to listen to Trixie anyway. Later that night, she was nestled in bed with her third Trixie-sponsored beer & her laptop playing season one of Twin Peaks. Katya had seen it at least half a dozen times, but never got tired of it.

She smirked to herself & opened Snapchat, taking a close up photo of her lips around the beer bottle & sending it to Trixie with the caption thx. Only a few seconds later, Trixie snapped her back, a photo of herself in no makeup, smiling softly, with the caption those lips <3.

She sat up & wiggled out of her sheets, pulling her knees up against her chest, bare legs & shoulders in the frame to show she was definitely not wearing any clothes, & made an exaggerated kissing face into the camera. Trixie sent back a photo of herself drinking a glass of wine & wrote boring here without you. Before Katya could reply, the red square lit up again— a picture of a gigantic four poster bed with burgundy & white silky bedding & the caption can’t wait til you’re in this bed instead.

Katya blushed at how excited the luxury of it all made her. She swiped to the chat. That’s fancy!

Trixie started typing. Very. This bed is perfect for you.

For me?!!

Yep. I already have ideas.

Oh, do you, now?

Mmhmmmmmm. The red square popped up again & Katya tapped it to see a dimly-lit photo of Trixie’s suitcase, unzipped to expose a small pile of silk scarves lying messily atop of her clothes.

Wonder what those are for… Katya send a thinking emoji.

Tying my hair back, clearly.

Katya took a photo of herself lying back down in bed, breasts unabashedly uncovered, & captioned it Too bad that’s all they’re for, then…

Trixie replied with a photo of herself flipping off the camera. Brat, it read.

Your brat, Katya typed back.

Don’t you forget it, Trixie replied. Now get some sleep… you have a long day tomorrow, K.

I know… I like airports, though, so I’ll probably get there really early.

Your flight lands at 4:45, so I’ll be there by 4:30.

K!

Night, kitten. Sweet dreams!

Night, Trixie… see you tomorrow. Katya added a black heart; Trixie sent a pink one in reply. She was relieved she had barely slept the night before, as she felt her eyes get heavy as soon as she closed her laptop & plugged her phone into the charger. Packing could wait until the morning, she figured. Right now, she just needed the last night she had to spend away from Trixie to be over.

 


 

 

“Here, find somewhere while I drive,” Trixie handed her phone over to Katya, who rode in the passenger’s seat of her rented car.

“I dunno, what are you in the mood for?” Neither of them had stopped blushing & grinning since the moment Katya saw Trixie at baggage claim & unashamedly sprinted toward her, throwing her arms over her shoulders & letting Trixie lift her slightly off the ground. Katya scrolled through Yelp, trying to pick a restaurant.

“Anything you’re in the mood for!”

“What about this?” she asked after a moment, turning the phone to show Trixie an Italian restaurant.

“Sure!” she chirped.

“Oh, wait. It has three dollar signs.”

Trixie reached over & swiped her phone from Katya. “Don’t worry about that.” Katya knotted her brow & decided not to argue it. “We can drop your stuff off & then take an Uber so we can properly celebrate you being here!”

Katya giggled. “I thought we were here to celebrate you.”

Trixie glanced at her out of the corner of her eye. “We’re just here to celebrate, period!” She reached over & gently laid her hand on Katya’s knee, stroking it with her thumb as she drove to their hotel.

Once they arrived, Katya stood by nervously as Trixie gave her keys to the valet & tipped the busboy to bring Katya’s bags up to the room. “I only have two, I can carry them,” Katya protested in her ear, but Trixie shushed her, putting her arm around her waist & leading her through the lobby. While the two of them rode the elevator up to Trixie’s suite, Katya chewed the inside of her lip. She suddenly felt like a little kid— way out of her depth & like a joke around Trixie, who clearly knew exactly what to do in social situations & acted like an actual adult. Her twenty-three years suddenly seemed to shrink behind her.

“You okay?” Trixie whispered, pushing Katya’s hair back behind her ear as the elevator dinged with each floor.

“Oh, mmhmmm. Just thinking.”

“What about?”

Katya shrugged. “Just can’t believe I’m here with you,” she smiled softly.

“Believe it, buttercup,” Trixie tickled her side with a grin.

“This seems familiar,” Katya mumbled through a smirk as Trixie unlocked her hotel room door. Trixie burst into laughter & shoved Katya through the door.

“Get over here,” Trixie giggled once Katya’s bags had been delivered & they were finally alone behind closed doors. She sat down on the edge of the tall bed with a bounce & waved Katya over. She stood between her legs & beamed at her, wrapping her arms around Trixie’s lower back.

“Thanks for bringing me with you,” Katya grinned.

“Thanks for coming,” Trixie softly pulled Katya up to her by her butt, letting her legs dangle off the side of the bed as she leaned in to kiss her. After only a couple of seconds, Katya pulled away to look into Trixie’s deep brown eyes.

“What?” she mouthed, nearly soundlessly.

Katya’s lips curled into a gentle smile & she shook her head softly. “Nothing,” she whispered under her breath.

Trixie wrapped her arms around Katya, pulling her in for a hug. She stroked her hair & after a moment, whispered, “I know.” Katya nodded into her shoulder, feeling the tears catching on her lower lashes, & let Trixie cradle her, collapsing into her arms. “Do you wanna talk about it?” Trixie whispered.

Katya nodded, not fully realizing she’d done it until it was too late. “I don’t know what to say, though…” her voice was rough from holding back tears.

“Yeah,” Trixie kissed the side of her head. “Come here.” She scooted back on the bed & rolled onto her side, pulling Katya to lie down facing her. “I’m glad you’re here, kitten,” she said quietly, taking Katya’s hand in hers.

A tear rolled down Katya’s cheek. “Me too.”

“Why’re you crying?” Trixie reached over to gently wipe it away.

Katya shrugged. “You.”

Trixie rested her hand on Katya’s hip. “Wanna know something?” she whispered sweetly. Katya nodded. “I haven’t been with anybody else since you.”

Katya started crying all over again. “I haven’t either,” she croaked.

“Guess I was that good, huh?” Trixie teased, squeezing Katya’s hip.

Katya laughed through her tears. “I mean, you were! But… why haven’t you…” she trailed off.

“I dunno, I just… I felt like I’d rather be alone thinking about you than trying to forget about you with someone else.”

Katya snuggled up against Trixie’s chest, letting her pull her close. “That’s how I feel, too,” she murmured into her breasts.

“Well…” Trixie took a deep breath. “At least we feel the same way?” Katya nodded, hair bouncing into the top of Trixie’s crisp button-down shirt. “Go get dressed, baby,” Trixie whispered, kissing the top of her head. “I’m hungry.”

Katya giggled, sniffling her tears back, & rolled off the bed, bare feet on the hardwood floor headed to dig out a dress.

 


 

 

After a calamari appetizer, two mostly-finished plates of pasta, & three-quarters of a bottle of shiraz, Trixie & Katya sat on the same side of the booth, Katya pushing her remaining raviolis around with her fork. “You full?” Trixie asked sweetly.

“Yeah,” Katya smiled. “That’s more food than I’m used to having in a whole day, much less a single meal!”

Trixie stroked Katya’s thigh lovingly through her black & white print dress while she cut a ravioli into tiny pieces. “Good, you need to eat,” she said, taking a sip of her wine with her free hand & letting her fingers toy with the hem of Katya’s dress where it fell just above her knee.

Katya raised an eyebrow at her, but quickly turned away, popping a tiny square of ravioli into her mouth as Trixie’s hand pushed her dress up her thigh under the table. Her trimmed nails tickled the inside of Katya’s smooth thigh, making her squirm slightly, before they reached the edge of her panties. Trixie pushed them aside, taking another drink of her wine as she slowly slid a finger inside of her, grinning behind the lip of the glass as she heard Katya inhale sharply.

“Tri—” Katya started to protest through a gasp.

“Uh uh,” Trixie whispered sternly. “Just be quiet.”

Katya made a fist around her fork before setting it down with a loud rattle, exhaling raggedly as Trixie increased her speed, dragging her soft finger in & out of her. She was sure the entire restaurant could hear how wet she was, hear the broken moans she was barely keeping in, but no one paid attention. Trixie shifted slightly in her seat, leaning into Katya to allow her hand better access to slide another finger in, thumb pushing firmly against her clit.

“Trixie, someone’s gonna—” she gasped as Trixie thrusted hard into her. “Someone’s gonna see.”

Trixie didn’t reply, only rocked her thumb back & forth over Katya’s clit as she cooly drank her wine. The waiter approached their table. “Can I interest you ladies in dessert? More wine?”

Katya reached down & grabbed Trixie’s wrist, trying to still it as the waiter spoke, but she yanked it free, thrusting her fingers deep inside of Katya so hard that she involuntarily clenched around them at the pain. “Oh, no! I think we’re good!” Trixie smiled at him. “Just the check, please!”

He nodded politely & turned away. “What the—” Katya’s protests were cut off by Trixie unashamedly leaning her whole arm under the table, stroking furiously at Katya’s clit & making her mouth fall open in a silent moan. Katya clamped her legs together around Trixie’s hand, lifting her hips from the booth & sucking her lower lip in between her teeth as she forced herself to stay silent as she came.

Trixie watched her with a patronizing smirk on her face, amused at how much Katya was struggling. Once she saw Katya’s chest heave a couple of times, working to return her breathing to normal, Trixie slipped her fingers out of her, wiping them hastily on the inside of Katya’s bare thigh, & turning toward her purse on the other side of her without a word, digging for her credit card.

Katya grabbed the glass of water from across the table & sucked aggressively on the straw, gulping down as much as she could. Trixie had handed the waiter her card & delicately pushed her plate away before Katya was able to make eye contact with her. She peered up at Trixie through her bangs & smiled shyly. “Good girl,” Trixie mouthed, patting her thigh reassuringly. Katya scooted closer, feeling suddenly needy, & Trixie smirked, wrapping her arm around Katya & letting her rest against her side, still sipping her water as she signed the check & tossed her credit card back into her purse, not even bothering to find her wallet.

Katya felt smaller than she ever had, but something about that feeling made her arousal settle deep in her stomach. When Trixie was around, she didn’t need to talk to anyone, didn’t need to do anything for herself— she clung to Trixie & Trixie rewarded her for being good. That was all she needed— to feel protected & nurtured the way she did with Trixie’s arm around her in public.

“Ready, baby?” Trixie kissed the side of her head.

“Uh huh,” Katya smiled. “Ready.” She let Trixie pull her by the hand up, out of the booth, & was relieved to feel her arm wrap quickly around her lower back as she found her footing.

In the Uber on the way to the hotel, Katya sat squished into one seat with Trixie, her head on her shoulder as she nodded off. Trixie periodically turned to bury her face in Katya’s hair, inhaling the heavy sandalwood scent of her shampoo while she stroked her upper arm, comforting her into sleep. Once they arrived, Trixie had to shake her awake. “Hey, baby,” she whispered. “Baby. We’re here.”

“Huh? Oh…” Katya opened her bleary eyes & pulled her head up. “Did I fall asleep?”

Trixie giggled softly. “Yeah, come on… let’s go upstairs.”

She thanked the driver & held Katya’s hand as she stepped onto the curb, leading her into the elevator, into the room, & toward the bed. “Can I take your clothes off, sweetie?” Trixie purred.

Katya nodded as she kicked off her heels. “I’m so tired…” she whimpered.

“I know, kitten. I’m gonna let you sleep.” Trixie kissed her lips gently, barely brushing them together, then reached back to unzip Katya’s dress, helping guide it over her small hips & thighs. “I missed seeing this,” she moaned sweetly, kissing Katya’s collarbone as she nudged her knee up, urging her to step out of the dress. She pushed Katya’s black bra straps down, kissing across the curve of her shoulder as she reached back to unhook it. “You’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen.” Trixie quietly pressed each word into Katya’s skin as her bra fell to the carpet.

Katya’s eyelids were heavy with desire, wine, & sleep, & she reached down for Trixie’s jaw, cupping it tenderly, tilting her face to look up, making eye contact with her. “I love you, Trixie,” she whispered, voice shaking.

Trixie lifted Katya with ease, lying her down in bed, & climbing over her to lie beside her, kicking off her shoes on the way. Katya’s wide, clear green eyes stared up at her as if they were searching for the answers to all the universe’s questions there. Trixie leaned down & softly pressed her lips to Katya’s forehead between her bangs, then dragged them to her lips, pecking them gently. “I love you more than you could ever know, baby,” Trixie blinked back tears.

“You do?” Katya whispered.

“Of course.” Trixie shimmied her dress quickly off, kicking it off the end of the bed, & tossed her bra after it. “I’ve loved you for so long,” she breathed, silent tears spilling from both eyes as she pulled Katya’s small body into hers.

“I didn’t wanna… I didn’t know…” Katya talked into Trixie’s collarbone.

“Shhhh, I know.” Trixie petted Katya’s hair, feeling her body start to relax in her arms. “I know.”

“I missed you so much,” Katya cried openly, letting her tears fall against Trixie’s bare chest.

“I’ve got you, princess,” Trixie whispered, threading her fingers through Katya’s short hair & holding her close enough she was sure she could feel her heartbeat on her cheek. “You’re okay…” she kissed the crown of Katya’s head, hearing her breath steady.

“I just wanna keep saying it…” Katya murmured. Trixie could tell she was definitely feeling the wine. “I’ve been so scared to say it, I just wanna say it a million times… I love you, I love you, I love you,” she repeated into her collarbone.

“I love you, too, Katya,” Trixie said, voice clearer than it had been all night. “Go to sleep, okay?” Katya nodded & Trixie pulled the blanket up over them with one hand, not wanting to break contact with her. I love you so much, Trixie mouthed silently against Katya’s bangs as she wrapped both arms around her, cuddling her close as she drifted to sleep.

 


 

 

“I don’t even know what to try on,” Katya protested as Trixie pushed through racks of dresses, searching for things she thought would look good on her.

“Try on everything!” Trixie giggled.

Katya fingered a price tag anxiously. “These are all so expensive… my idea of fancy is a forty dollar sale dress from Zara…”

Trixie abandoned her dress search & walked toward Katya, taking her face in her hands. “Stop worrying. I want you to look hot tonight!”

“I know, but—”

“Nope,” Trixie rested a finger on Katya’s lips to hush her. “It’ll be worth any price to see you in one of these tonight.” Katya smirked behind Trixie’s index finger & rolled her eyes. “Can’t you just pick something for me? I don’t know shit about clothes.”

Trixie giggled. “I guess we should match… find something for me first!” Katya reluctantly agreed, pushing through the heavy racks of gowns & holding up things she thought Trixie would like— mainly various shades of pink or cream, & always things that showed off her cleavage. “I see what you like, huh?” Trixie teased after the third deep-v-cut dress Katya suggested.

She shrugged & laughed, “Hey, if you’ve got it, flaunt it, mama!” As Trixie examined a goldenrod-colored floor length gown, Katya gasped. “Wait. What about this?” She lifted a long black spaghetti strap dress, silky fabric rippling with the movement.

Trixie’s eyes widened. “Wow,” she gasped. “I never wear black, but… that’s so sexy! Should I try it on?” Katya grinned, showing all of her teeth, & nodded furiously. “If I wear black, does that mean you have to wear pink?” she teased.

“Fuck. No.”

Trixie screeched with laughter, taking the dress from Katya & heading toward the dressing room. When she came out a few minutes later, Katya had to bite her knuckle to keep a cacophony of moans from spilling from her lips. “Yeah?” Trixie asked shyly.

“Trix,” Katya said in a low voice.

Trixie batted her eyelashes shyly at her, twirling in a slow circle & watching as the fabric flowed like waves around her feet. Katya watched in awe, then cleared her throat. “Um, do you have shoes to match it?”

She smiled softly. “I brought a pair of black stilettos with me… just in case.”

Katya nodded & ran a hand through her hair. “You look…” Trixie winked & then lowered her eyes shyly when she noticed Katya’s aggressively running up & down her body, eyeing the places the cool fabric clung to her curves.

“I’m gonna get it, I think,” Trixie whispered. Katya nodded in agreement, leaving her to get dressed. “Don’t think I’ve forgotten about you, though!” Trixie called from behind the dressing room door.

“I wish you would!” Katya squealed, causing Trixie to cackle.

“Go start looking around.”

Katya listened, thumbing through dresses, but feeling awkward trying to picture herself in anything this formal. She hadn’t gone to her own prom & never had an excuse to wear something fancy. Trixie walked her dress over to the cashier & laid it on the counter before returning to Katya. “Find anything?”

“Not really… I’m fashion challenged. If I can’t wear it with fishnets & boots, I don’t really know what I’m doing.”

“Okay, here…” Trixie dug in, grabbing a few dresses from the rack— most of them were shades of white or red, colors she thought Katya might be more comfortable in, as opposed to something bright & flashy. She thrust them into Katya’s arms & pointed to the dressing room with a grin.

She sighed exaggeratedly & shuffled off, weight of the garments heavy in her arms. After trying on all six of them, Katya was ready for not only coffee, but also to never have to wear clothes ever again. She chose a white, off-the-shoulder midi dress with bell sleeves after Trixie’s eyes nearly bugged out of her head at the way it hugged her ass & muscular thighs. Katya was relieved to see that it was by far the cheapest of the lot, & hung it back on the hanger, satisfied with their hunt.

Katya laid it on the counter beside Trixie’s gown & Trixie leaned in, whispering, “Are you sure it’s not just because this one’s on sale?”

“No!” Katya replied, even though she knew that was secretly half of the reason she had chosen it.

Trixie cocked an eyebrow at her, but let it go, turning back to the register to swipe her card. “Starbucks?” she asked with a glint in her eye once the cashier handed her the bags. Katya nodded, looping her arm through Trixie’s with a grin.

 


 

 

Katya sat nervously in the front row of the theatre, hand clasped with Trixie’s as faculty & donors took turns speaking about the history of the Columbia Book Prize & the importance of funding & rewarding the arts. She was sure Trixie could feel how sweaty her palm was, but thankfully, she didn’t seem to care, periodically stroking the back of her hand with her thumb to calm her anxiety.

As the final judge stepped to the podium & began speaking about Trixie’s book, Katya felt her squeeze her hand harder & looked over to see her knee shaking where it was crossed over her leg in her dress. “Hey,” Katya whispered barely audibly. Trixie turned to look at her. “I love you,” Katya mouthed.

“I love you,” Trixie mouthed back with a smile. When she was called up to the stage, Trixie stood & smoothed her dress over her thighs. Katya watched her take a deep breath & tried to channel all the energy she had toward her. As Trixie discussed her new book & how honored she was to have been chosen, Katya leaned forward in her seat in awe. The words she was saying blurred together in Katya’s brain— everything & everyone around her faded as she grinned proudly, trying to hold back tears at how perfect Trixie looked— how perfect Trixie was. She thanked the judges & the audience & then found Katya with her eyes, blowing a small kiss directly at her while the room applauded.

Katya’s heels clicked across the front of the theatre as she made her way to the side of the stage. A photographer was taking pictures of Trixie with the donors in their tuxes & gowns, & Katya stood by, watching quietly. When they were finished, Trixie shook their hands & hurried down the stage steps toward Katya, who kissed her passionately. “You did so good!”

“It’s not over yet, sadly,” Trixie giggled under her breath.

Katya smiled & brushed back a stray lock of Trixie’s hair. “At least there are snacks?”

“Okay, true!” Trixie brightened up at the thought of the spread of bougie appetizers that awaited them at the reception. They made their way to the ballroom side by side, Trixie waving politely at various people along the way. After about an hour of mingling, Trixie keeping Katya tight by her side, the two of them sat down at a white linen-clothed table with their second glasses of champagne.

“How ya doin’?” Trixie leaned in to pat Katya’s knee.

“Good,” she nodded firmly. “You?”

“Ready to get out of here,” she smirked. “But alas…” she waved her hand around the room.

A well-dressed couple about Trixie’s age interrupted. “Mind if we sit here?” the man asked.

“Oh, no, go right ahead!” Trixie motioned to the chairs, turning to face them.

“I’m really looking forward to your book,” the woman gushed in Trixie’s direction.

“Ah! Thanks!”

“Oh, I’m Rebecca, by the way— & this is my husband, Logan. I teach in the department here!” she reached over to shake Trixie’s hand & her husband gave a friendly nod, too far away to stretch toward her.

“Trixie,” she chirped. “Obviously! & this is Katya—” Katya extended her hand & shook Rebecca’s.

“Nice to meet you,” Katya replied politely, feeling like it was about the only sentence she had gotten any use out of all night.

“Likewise! So what do you do, Katya?” Rebecca asked.

“Oh, uh,” she stammered until Trixie squeezed her thigh encouragingly. “I’m a writer.”

“She’s a fantastic poet!” Trixie chimed in. “Fantastic!”

Katya blushed at the praise & joked, “Mediocre at best, but yeah, a poet.”

Rebecca nodded with a kind smile, eyeing the pair knowingly. After a few minutes of small talk, Katya excused herself & wandered out the side door to the balcony of the ballroom, pulling her pack of cigarettes from inside of her bra. She lit one & leaned over the railing, exhaling loudly.

“You two are cute,” she heard behind her. She slowly turned her head to see Logan, the quiet husband from the table, sparking up a cigarette of his own.

“Oh,” Katya chuckled. “Yeah… she’s great.”

Logan wandered over beside her, leaning sideways against the railing. “You seem good together.” Katya chewed on her lip & averted her eyes from his gaze. “Don’t worry,” he laughed, running a hair through his thick, dark curls. “I’m not some homophobe or something.”

Katya relaxed a bit & laughed. “Yeah… I’m not used to this whole… scene.”

“It’s pretty weird, right?” Katya nodded in reply, inhaling her cigarette. “So how’d you two meet?” She looked at him from the corner of her eye, lips curling around the cigarette once more, this time in a smirk.

“Wait, let me guess! Student?” he laughed.

“Kinda,” Katya wiggled her hand in a see-saw motion. “She did a reading at my MFA program.”

“Niiiiice!” He reached out his hand for a high five, which Katya reciprocated. “Well, you seem happy together!”

She nodded slightly. “Yeah… we are.” A smile broke across Katya’s face as she thought about the truth of the statement. Happy.

When she made her way back inside, Katya refilled her champagne glass, then found Trixie at the conversational mercy of a small group of older men, & approached them with fake bravado. “Oh, hi baby!” Trixie melodramatically drawled, reaching out to wrap her arm around Katya’s small waist.

“Hi!” Katya leaned up on her tiptoes to peck Trixie’s lips & turned to face the guys, who immediately began making excuses to wander off.

“Thanks,” Trixie whispered into her ear.

“No problem,” Katya whispered back. “You look so hot, by the way.”

“Oh?” Trixie raised an eyebrow flirtatiously.

Katya took a swig of her champagne, then motioned with her eyes toward the exit before swallowing the rest of the glass. Trixie took it from her & set it on the empty table behind her, letting Katya lead her by the hand out of the ballroom & down the mostly-deserted hallway. Unsure exactly where she was going, Katya followed the winding pathway until they reached a narrow corridor of classrooms. She tried a door. Locked. Next one? Locked. The third door, however, clicked open & Katya pulled Trixie inside.

Katya,” Trixie warned, though her voice shook.

“Just let me,” Katya breathed, locking the door behind them, not bothering to turn on the lights.

Trixie felt her heart start pounding as Katya kissed her, walking them backwards to the professor’s desk at the front of the room. She hoisted Trixie up onto the desk & quickly knelt in front of her, using a palm on either side of her thigh to bunch the silk dress up at Trixie’s hips. “God,” Trixie gasped, carefully threading her fingers into Katya’s hair, careful not to mess up her curls.

“Fuck, Trix—” Katya moaned when she got her dress out of the way only to see that she wasn’t wearing underwear.

Katya gently dragged her fingertips over Trixie’s smooth skin, loving the luxurious softness of all the skin that would normally be hidden by her panties. Trixie giggled quietly, pulling Katya’s face down to where she wanted it. She didn’t protest, excitedly sticking out her tongue to lap up the building wetness between her legs, & letting Trixie firmly press her face into her, chin & nose bumping against her as she inhaled deeply.

“Please,” Trixie groaned, scooting forward to wrap her legs around Katya’s neck. The contact drove Katya wild & she frantically, loudly began to suck on as much of Trixie as she could fit in her mouth, tongue flitting wildly across her, then moved to focus on her clit, sucking firmly. She reached up to easily slide two fingers into Trixie as her tongue fluttered up & down on her clit, causing Trixie to whimper.

“Ah!” she yelped. “Fuck, ah, right there!” Katya let Trixie clamp her head in place with her hands & thighs & focused on keeping up the rhythm she’d built, pushing Trixie over the edge to her orgasm. Trixie slumped over slightly, still holding Katya’s head, but letting her legs fall limp over her shoulders, thrusting lazily into her mouth as she came down. “Jesus,” she groaned, petting Katya’s hair.

“You’re so hot,” Katya grinned as she pulled back from her. Trixie burst into laughter when she saw her face— bangs askew, red lipstick smeared all over her cheeks & chin.

“I hope you brought your lipstick,” she laughed hysterically.

“Why?! Oh…” Katya realized after a moment, reaching up to touch her lips. “Ooops.”

“I don’t even know if that’s fixable,” Trixie wheezed.

“I’ll make it work!” Katya laughed. “It was worth it!” She smacked Trixie’s thigh before she stood up to pull her dress down, wiggling uncomfortably from how her swollen skin brushed near-painfully against the silk. Katya picked up her phone & used the camera as a mirror, wiping the smeared makeup from her face before swiping on a new coat of lipstick. “Good as new!”

Trixie kissed her on the cheek. “I need a drink after that,” she giggled.

“I know of a little place with free champagne…” Katya exaggerated, extending her arm to Trixie, who took it with a grin. “Just don’t get too drunk to repay the favor,” she teased with a wink.

“Oh, bitch. I have plans.”

“Plans?”

Plaaaaannnsssss,” Trixie drew out dramatically.  Katya decided that for now, she'd just have to clamp her legs together & her mouth shut, excited to see where the night would take them.

 

 

Chapter Text

 

Once Trixie & Katya had made it back to the hotel, Trixie’s fancy plaque in hand, Katya kicked her shoes off inside the door & heaved a sigh.  “Don’t tell me you’re tired!” Trixie smirked, safely packing her award into her suitcase under stacks of clothes.

“Oh, so tired,” Katya exaggerated, pretending to yawn as she stretched her arms above her head.  “I might just hit the hay!” Trixie cocked an eyebrow at her & then rolled her eyes once she was sure Katya was joking.

“Well, I guess I’ll go to sleep, too, then!” Trixie replied in a singsong voice.

“No! Don’t!” Katya shouted overly enthusiastically.  

Trixie giggled & tickled Katya’s sides.  “Why not?!”

“Becauuuuuse!” Katya whined through her hysterical laughter, playfully fighting Trixie off.

“Because whyyyyyyy!” Trixie didn’t relent, tickling her so hard her eyes started to water.  Katya escaped from Trixie’s grasp & ran barefoot across the hardwood floor to the bed, jumping on with a diving leap.

“You’re not gonna get away that easily!” Trixie howled, climbing on top of her & pinning her wrists above her head.  She leaned down & kissed her roughly through their laughter. “Thanks for being my date tonight,” she giggled when she came up for air.

“Thanks for letting me be your date,” Katya grinned.  “Everybody loved you…”

Trixie nipped at Katya’s neck.  “Mmmmm, too bad I was distracted from them all night.”

“Oh?”

Trixie replied only with a gentle bite against the sensitive skin above Katya’s collarbone, exposed in her off-the-shoulder dress.  She let go of Katya’s hands & Katya quickly pushed them into Trixie’s thick, voluminous hair, holding her close & letting the scents of her shampoo & perfume fill her lungs.  “Except…” Trixie licked up Katya’s prominent collarbone. “You were such a brat…” she tugged at the skin with her teeth. “Pulling me away like that… you couldn’t wait, huh?” Katya shook her head with a grin.  “ Hmm .”  Trixie sat up, dress pulled up around her thighs as she straddled Katya.

“Can you wait now?”  She pushed Katya’s dress up, exposing her white lace panties & causing Katya to shake her head softly.  “How ‘bout now?” she lazily drew her fingers down the front of them, pressing into the transparent wet spot.

“No!” Katya squeaked desperately.  Trixie stilled her hand, pushing two fingertips gently into her through the lace.  “Please!” she whined, but the patronizing look on Trixie’s face told Katya that wasn’t what she was in for.

Please ?” Trixie mocked her with a smirk, softly smacking her clit before pulling her hand away.  Katya nodded. “Hmmm… I think you need to wait a little longer after being so selfish earlier.”  Her voice was heavy & honey-thick with power.

Katya furrowed her brow, kicking her legs frustratedly against the side of the bed.  “If you can’t hold still, baby…” Trixie warned, but Katya only wiggled her hips & kicked her feet harder in protest.  Trixie stood up without a word, smoothing her dress & walking toward the other side of the room, heels clicking against the floor.  Katya turned her head to watch, but didn’t lift her body from the bed as Trixie rifled through her suitcase, returning with a few long silk scarves draped over her forearm.

Katya couldn’t suppress the smirk that broke across her face.  She licked her lips as Trixie tossed the scarves onto the bed & leaned down over her.  “Take your dress off,” she demanded huskily, eyes deathly serious.

Katya sat up & reached back to unzip the dress, letting Trixie help pull it from her feet.  Sitting completely naked but for her panties in front of a fully dressed, stiletto-wearing Trixie looking down condescendingly at her made Katya clench her thighs together in both embarrassment & arousal.  Trixie stood straddling her. “What?” she sneered. Katya peered up at her innocently, eyes wide & excited. Trixie grabbed her wrists & expertly wound a long scarf around & between them, knotting it firmly.  She ran her fingers beneath each wrist, making sure she wasn’t cutting off any circulation, & then let Katya’s hands drop into her lap. 

Trixie squatted down a bit to be face to face with Katya.  “I want you to tell me if you’re getting anxious, okay, baby?” her voice was suddenly smooth & lilting again.  Katya nodded dreamily, only half occupying her own brain. “Use your words, K.”

“Yeah,” she affirmed.  “I’m good.”

“Do you want to pick a sign in case you need to stop?  Like a word or something?” Trixie stroked her cheek, grounding her in the conversation.

Katya nodded softly.  “Um, yeah, colors?” Her voice was already wispy & soft.

“Like red, yellow, green?” Trixie held Katya’s chin, sustaining solid contact with her.

“Yeah,” she nodded.

“Tell me,” Trixie insisted.

“Green is good, yellow is hold on, red is stop.”

“Good girl,” Trixie kissed her forehead, then gently rolled her over on the bed, letting Katya extend her bound wrists above her head.  She softly scratched the back of Katya’s head with her short nails, causing goosebumps to spread across Katya’s skin. She moaned into the touch, letting her cheek relax into the mattress as Trixie scratched softly down her spine, then followed the scratches with her palm, soothing them.  When she got to the small of Katya’s back, she leaned down, kissing the dramatic dip there & firmly massaging her hips, causing Katya to sigh in relief. “I know you hate wearing heels, baby,” she soothed her. “I bet your hips hurt…”

Katya nodded into the soft down comforter.  “They do,” she groaned.

Trixie hummed sympathetically & rubbed deep circles into her hips, moving down to her lower back & eventually the top of her firm ass through her panties.  Katya canted her hips down into the bed as Trixie’s touch neared where she wanted it, & Trixie used one hand to press her lower back down in place. “Stop,” she warned.

Katya listened, pliant under Trixie’s hands as she continued to rub the tension out of her muscles, drawing low groans of appreciation from her lips.  “Please,” she moaned helplessly as Trixie teasingly drew a finger down her ass toward her thighs.

“I told you you were gonna have to wait.  Can you do that for me?” Trixie laid her palm flat on Katya’s ass.

Katya shook her head furiously.  “No, please…” Trixie lifted her hand, bringing it down hard.  Katya hissed in pain. “Please!” she cried out.

Trixie ignored her, spanking her again & again, increasing the force each time until her own hand started to sting from the contact.  “Hmmmm…” she snapped the back of Katya’s thong against her burning red skin, causing her to yelp. “So pretty… too bad you don’t listen…”

Katya squirmed beneath her hand, arching her ass up in the air toward her & spreading her legs.  Trixie responded by stepping back from her, admiring for a moment how she presented herself so nicely to her before letting her fingers come down in a firm slap against the wet spot of her panties.  Katya cried out, her previous yelp becoming a howl. “Good?” Trixie asked.

“Green!” she muffled into the comforter.

Trixie smirked evilly & smacked her pussy again, loving the harsh snapping sound her hand made against her.  Katya groaned from low in her throat, reflexively pushing herself back toward Trixie. “More!” she pleaded.

“More?” Trixie rared her hand back, slapping hard against her & causing her to scream, tears pricking her eyes.  Trixie stepped up toward her, grabbing her by the hips & throwing her insensitively onto her back, bound hands bouncing above her head.  “More now?” she growled down at her, pupils dilated with the control she knew she had.

Katya nodded through her tears.  “Yes,” she moaned.

Trixie pulled Katya’s panties to the side, using two fingers to swipe the dripping wetness from beneath them, & brought them to her own mouth, sticking her tongue out to lick between them.  “That’s what gets you wet, huh? Me spanking you like a little girl?” Katya’s cheeks turned bright red & she forced herself to nod. Trixie leaned over her until her face hovered directly above Katya’s.  “You just wanna be a bad little girl, don’t you?” she growled. Katya didn’t answer, just stared into her eyes, feeling her pulse pounding between her legs. Trixie grabbed her chin angrily. “You’re really just a spoiled little brat, aren’t you… & you want me to fuck you so hard you forget it?”

“Y— y— yes,” Katya trembled, struggling to make words.  

Trixie forcefully shoved her face away from her & laughed coolly.  “Too bad.” She ran a finger down between Katya’s breasts, down to circle her belly button, then to trace across the top of her panties before pulling it away.

Instead, she stood back a few steps from Katya, looking at her flushed & struggling on the bed, & smirked.  “Stand up,” she commanded. Katya rolled onto her side & tried to propel herself up, but between the soft bed & her bound wrists, she couldn’t get enough leverage.  Trixie chuckled mockingly as she struggled before reaching over to lift her by the armpits into a sitting position at the edge of the bed. “Up.”

Katya took a loud breath that Trixie could tell was shaky.  “Color,” Trixie insisted, making eye contact with her. Katya’s eyes were glazed over, her lips held in a lazy closed-mouth smile.  “Katya.”

“Green,” she murmured happily.  “Green.”

“Can you stand?” Trixie asked.  Katya nodded, pushing herself to her feet & waiting expectantly at the edge of the bed.  

She took a step toward Trixie, only to find her legs shaky beneath her.  “Yellow…” she mumbled spacily, getting Trixie’s immediately attention.

“Babe?”

“Can I have some water?” Katya asked quietly.  

Trixie grabbed a bottle of water from the minibar & cracked the top for her.  “Here, baby,” she held the bottle to her lips, tilting it slightly for her to drink.  

After a couple of seconds, Katya came up for air, then whispered, “More.”  Trixie tilted the bottle up, letting Katya chug the rest of it, a few stray drops spilling down her chin & dripping onto her chest.

“Better?” Trixie asked, smoothing Katya’s hair back from her face.

“Yeah,” Katya breathed.  “I just got really dizzy.  I felt like I was, like… on a cloud.”  Trixie giggled knowingly, realizing that Katya must not have as much experience with this as she did.

“That’s good, baby— you’re relaxing into it.  Are you feeling okay?” Trixie stroked her face lovingly.

Katya grinned.  “Yeah, I’m good.  Very green.” Trixie laughed & set the empty water bottle on the bedside table.

“Good.”  She leaned down to kiss Katya’s lips tenderly, tilting her head to deepen the kiss, letting her tongue have full reign over Katya’s mouth.

Without control of her hands, Katya pressed her hips into Trixie’s, & Trixie rewarded her by pulling her by her ass, letting her grind into her thigh for a moment.  Katya gasped quietly at the sensation of Trixie’s silk dress against her bare legs, letting her mouth loll open into a long moan. Trixie trailed her hands up Katya’s back, tugging softly at her short hair as they kissed.  “Here, baby,” she whispered, walking her backward until she was flush with the tall bedpost.

Katya leaned obediently against it as Trixie reached around her & snatched the longest scarf she’d brought from atop the bed.  “Stretch your arms,” she breathed, & Katya did, rolling her shoulders from side to side. “Up,” Trixie nudged her elbows & Katya held them up above her head for Trixie to wind securely around the post, scarf secured above the decorative carving on it.  “You okay?” she tugged the scarf tightly, making sure Katya couldn’t slip free.

“Yeah,” Katya smiled.  “It’s good.” Trixie leaned in & pecked her lips, tugging the bottom one between her teeth.  Trixie walked backward a few steps & grinned at her handiwork, seeing Katya, heat rash crawling across her chest, standing tied to the bed.  Her eyes drank her in, from her bare feet & unpolished toes, up to her visibly wet panties & hard nipples. “God, you’re adorable,” Trixie praised her, causing Katya to lower her lashes shyly.

She walked over to the minibar, cracking herself a bottle of water, & took a sip, fully aware that Katya’s eyes were following her confusedly.  “Ahhhh,” she sighed as the cool water met her throat, then grabbed a straw from the caddy beside the coffee maker, dropping it into the top of the bottle & watching it bob there.  “Drink,” she held it up to Katya’s lips, smeared wildly red.

She guzzled nearly half the bottle before Trixie took it back, taking a small sip for herself.  Katya’s pupils were wide, eye makeup smudged, as Trixie slid the straw back between her lips, urging her to finish it.  “Good girl,” she complimented her as she gently rested the empty bottle on the table.

Trixie disappeared into the bathroom, washing her hands painstakingly slowly, swiping the mascara from beneath her eyes, & fluffing up her hair.  She knew Katya would worry where she’d gone, what she was doing, & so took her sweet time. When she came back out, she didn’t even glance in Katya’s direction, instead plugging her phone into the charger & scrolling absentmindedly through her notifications for a minute or two.  She could feel Katya’s eyes boring into her, but she ignored their heat.

Trixie leaned up against the wall directly across from Katya, about five feet of distance between them, & stared at her with a blank face.  She pulled the dainty straps of her dress from her shoulders, letting her dress melt down her body, held up only by her breasts. Katya stayed silent, just staring.  Trixie nudged the dress further, shimmying it over her black strapless bra & letting it catch at her generous hips. She trailed a hand down into her bra, exaggeratedly open-mouthed moaning as she rolled her nippled between her fingertips.  Hips wiggling to shake free of her dress, Trixie let it fall at her feet & then stepped out of it, toe of her stiletto kicking it across the floor, leaving her naked but for her bra, which she reached back to slowly unhook, making silent eye contact with Katya as her breasts fell free.

Katya’s eyes narrowed in frustration as she whimpered at finally getting to see Trixie’s body.  “How ya doin’?” Trixie taunted her with a smirk.

“Let me touch you… please…” Katya whined, voice low & breathy.

In reply, Trixie only leaned back against the wall, heels still on, & spread her legs, giving Katya a full view of her smooth pussy as she slowly crawled one hand down her belly, teasing herself all the way.  “What do you wanna do to me?” Trixie purred.

Katya licked her lips.  “I wanna taste you, please…” her voice came in broken gasps.

Trixie tickled her middle finger down between her legs & brought it up dripping wet.  She stalked toward Katya, extending it toward her lips. Katya stuck her tongue out hungrily, but just before she made contact, Trixie pulled her finger away, sticking it into her own mouth.  Katya collapsed backward against the bedpost, crying out as she tried to rub her thighs together to find some source of friction.

“Do I need to tie your ankles?” Trixie asked.

“No, no…” Katya whimpered.  “I’ll be good. I just…” she trailed off as Trixie knelt down, pressing a soft kiss to her clit through her panties.  Katya bucked into her mouth with a whine. “ Yes ,” she moaned.  “ Trix, Trix—

Trixie stood, kissing her lips softly, then walked backward until she was pressed against the wall, sucking her fingers, then running them lasciviously across her nipples, palming her breasts roughly before she tossed her head back, hair hanging over her shoulders as she touched herself.  “Feels so good,” she whimpered as she rubbed her middle finger slowly across her clit. She heard Katya groan & watched her clamp her thighs together. Trixie ignored her, pushing two fingers inside of herself & thrusting dramatically before pulling them out to circle her clit.

Fuck Katya …” she moaned loudly.  She pulled her face down to make eye contact with Katya, writhing uncomfortably in her restraints.  “If you fucking move, I swear to god—” she threatened angrily. Katya froze in place, feet firmly planted apart from one another, letting the cool air from the AC hit her thighs.  “Fuck—” Trixie hissed, knees buckling as she made herself come, leaning back against the wall for support.

Once she composed herself, she strolled toward Katya, heels clicking, & stopped just in front of her, out of her reach.  Trixie dropped her hips, grinding her soaking, swollen pussy against Katya’s bare thigh. Katya lifted her thigh to meet her, gasping at the contact.  “God, you feel…” Katya trailed off.

Trixie grabbed the side of Katya’s throat, holding her in place & cutting off her air ever-so-slightly.  “Shut the fuck up & make me come, kitten,” she whispered, somehow at once menacing & sweet.

Katya pulled unsuccessfully against her restraints, which caused Trixie to smirk & grind down harder against Katya’s lifted thigh.  She let go of Katya’s neck to reach beneath her thigh with both hands to steady it, rolling her hips rhythmically against the taut muscles there.  Helplessly, Katya whimpered, watching Trixie fuck herself. After a moment, Trixie started to gasp & clenched her teeth, a sign that she was close.  “Trixie— Trix— fuck—” Katya groaned, but Trixie, through her scrunched shut eyes, reached up with one hand to tightly cover her mouth.

Trixie’s movements became jerky, stuttering, as she felt herself come, leaving a mess of sticky wetness across Katya’s thigh.  Only then did she unclench Katya’s mouth, finding a smear of lipstick on her palm. She wiped it haphazardly across Katya’s cheek, then shuffled into the bathroom & grabbed a towel to wipe herself down with.  “Fuck,” she hissed, feeling the cotton against her sensitive skin.

She glanced at Katya, who stood weak-kneed against the bedpost, wriggling her thighs uncomfortably.  “Legs apart,” she commanded.

“Tri— Trixie— I can’t,” she quivered.

“Color?”

“Green, but… I can’t .”

Trixie ignored her, hearing the signal of green , & went to check her phone.  She grabbed a package of trail mix out of her suitcase & tore it open, leaning against the wall & popping a cashew into her mouth as she eyed Katya patronizingly.  

“Trixie, please…” Katya begged, tears welling in her eyes.  Trixie cocked her hip, still wearing her heels, & fished for a raisin in the package, refusing to acknowledge her pleas.  “I— I—” she squirmed against the scarves. Trixie watched passively as Katya’s chest heaved & a tear rolled down her cheek.

Her free hand traveled down to brush lazily against her clit.  “Trixie, the water, I…” Katya bit her lip & canted her hips backward against the firm post, violently clenching her thighs together.

“Legs apart,” Trixie commanded, munching on a handful of peanuts.

Fuck —” Katya’s voice trembled as she pulled her thighs apart, spreading them to shoulder width.  She realized Trixie wasn’t going to untie her & tilted her head back, humiliated. “I have to—” she whispered.  Trixie’s only response was the crinkling plastic of her trail mix package & then a quiet chomp on another cashew.  

Katya whimpered, trying to use all the strength in her body to clench her muscles, but she was already so exhausted from holding herself up that she failed, throwing her head back beside the post, mouth open in a mix of embarrassment & ecstasy as she felt a tiny prick of liquid between her thighs.  “I can’t—” she whimpered, humiliation coloring her cheeks a deep pink as she clenched her eyes shut & let go, feeling the warmth spill down her legs, slowly at first, then forcefully.

She heaved a quiet cry, shoulders going helplessly limp in the restraints as she refused to lower her face to make eye contact with Trixie.  Trixie silently watched Katya as her breathing returned to normal, feeling the heat crawling up her own face. She hadn’t even realized her fingers were sliding back & forth against her own pussy, wet all over again, until she felt her thighs tense up.  

Trixie pulled her hands away, stopping herself just short, & took Katya’s face in her hands, tilting it up to look at her.  “Shhhh,” she whispered, kissing her forehead, then down the bridge of her nose & to her lips. “You look so beautiful right now,” she praised her.  “You did so good for me…” Trixie tucked Katya’s hair behind her ears & held her limp body up in her arms. “Do you want down, baby?”

Katya nodded meekly.  Trixie strained behind her to rummage in her suitcase, pulling out a tiny pen knife & bringing it up to slice the scarf that held Katya’s arms up, letting them fall down between them.  Katya stared, wide-eyed at her, as Trixie carefully wedged the knife between her wrists, pulling to slice the second scarf. As soon as her hands were freed, Katya wrapped them around Trixie’s neck, scrambling to pull her close to her in an embrace.

After a moment, Trixie gently let go of Katya & bent down to grab the towel she’d cleaned herself off with, drying Katya’s thighs & patting her painfully swollen skin between her legs.  Katya gasped with the soft contact & Trixie giggled. “Get on the bed, princess,” she purred.

Katya shakily hoisted herself up onto the bed & let Trixie position her where she wanted her, giving her plenty of room to crawl up at her feet.  “Here,” Trixie grabbed a pillow & rested it gently beneath Katya’s hips, comfortably angling her thighs upward. She crawled between Katya’s legs, spread wide in a limp v-shape on the bed around her & left gentle, loving kisses in a line from hipbone to hipbone before dipping down to lap at her clit.

“I— god, so sensitive—” Katya moaned, hands tangling in her own hair.

“I know, baby… mmmm…” Trixie breathed warm against her.  “You deserve to feel so good… you listened so well for me…” she murmured between tiny licks.

“Yeah…” Katya gasped, lying limp & letting Trixie do all the work, pulling her up tight against her face & swirling her tongue rhythmically.

“I want you to come for me, kitten,” Trixie moaned.

That was all it took to send Katya over the edge, pushing all of her body weight downward into Trixie’s mouth as she came, Trixie’s tongue easing her through it as she cried out.  After a moment, Trixie crawled up next to Katya & kissed her cheek. “You good?”

Katya laughed tiredly.  “I’m good!” She rolled onto her side, grabbing for Trixie, who scooped her into her arms, cuddling her close & pulling the blanket over them.

“You feeling okay?”  Katya nodded meekly. Trixie stroked her hair, running her fingertips softly across her scalp, then down her upper arms, relaxing the strained muscles there.  “Sore?”

“Not really,” Katya smiled up her.  “Just sleepy.” She snuggled into Trixie’s arms, humming quietly as she nestled in close.

“Me too,” she kissed the crown of her head.  “Long day.”

“Yeah,” Katya agreed through a yawn.  “Can I have a kiss?”

Trixie giggled & leaned in, pecking her gently on the lips.  Katya parted hers, kissing her more deeply for a few seconds before pulling softly away.  “I love you, baby,” Trixie whispered as she felt Katya relax into her chest.

“I love you, too,” she murmured, already dozing off as Trixie held her protectively, waiting until she was fast asleep to close her own tired eyes.