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This is My Fault Too (Dragon Age dabble)

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“Solas wait!” 

Syila screamed, her lungs burning from lack of breath. She sprinted towards him, she wasn’t going to let him get away again. But he didn’t move, not even to look at her. She began to slow her self as she made it closer to his ridged form.

“Solas, I..” She spoke uncertainty, reaching a hand to rest on his shoulder, but she stopped and instead hovered her hand just close enough to feel the heat from his body before dropping her arm back down. She had searched so long to finally get this close to him, but this all seemed too easy.

“Do you know why I chose here?” Solas spoke still turned away, but it was barely a question. 

Syila glanced around, finally noticing her surroundings. She had jumped through an eluvian after him, too focused to care where she would end up.

They stood in a grassy clearing, the emerald green stretching to the horizon in all directions. There was a breeze, but she couldn’t tell what direction it was coming from. it was like the winds were converging from all directions; rippling back and forth through the grass that surrounded them, meeting in the middle where Solas and her stood. It was bright and warm, and absolutely breath taking. She could feel the sun beating down on her skin, but when she looked up she noticed there was no sun to be found, actually there didn’t seem to be any light source at all. This place was off ,too perfect, and with no sound. A crushing silence but for the sound of her breath and beating heart. She knew this had to be the fade, or at least somewhere free of the vail.

“Where are we exactly?” Syila questioned, turning around to see that the eluvian she had just sprung out of was gone.

“I lay in dark and dreaming sleep while countless wars and ages past. I woke still weak a year before I joined you.” He spoke, still turned away.

“Is this where you spent uthenera?” She questioned, turning back to him.

“ It is. After conjuring the vale I was left weak, I was barely standing. I had prepared this place long before, knowing that if I had succeeded I would need a safe haven to retreat to.” He paused a moment, but Syila didn’t fill the silence.

“I had really thought I had saved my people when I came here. I thought I would drift into my slumber and watch as my people lived out free and joyous lives. And then I would return to them a hero. I was foolish. And reckless. When I had realized what I had done it was already too late.”

“I watched from my slumber as my peoples existence crumbled in front of me. But my body was broken, I could not reverse what I had done. I had destroyed all that I had cared so deeply about. And the world that had emerged from the ashes of my destruction had seemed an abomination to me.”

Syila raised her hand to rest on his shoulder properly this time, and walked around him so that she could faced him properly. He didn’t react, just continuing to stare craters into the ground at her feet. She clutched the side of his face with her right hand, and then her left. Solas’s eyes shot up at her then, quickly raising a hand to the one that shouldn’t be there. 

“I had Dagna craft it in secret after the inquisition disband, Its enchanted.”

Solas pulled her hand away and raised up her sleeve to inspect the gleaming metal and intricate enter-workings , dancing nimble fingers along the delicate filigree markings that ran throughout the appendage.

“I carved those in, I felt it needed a little more me in there.” Syila spoke, flexing her metal fingers with a thoughtful grin.

“This is my fault too.” Solas muttered into her cold fingertips. 

She danced a thumb across his bottom lip.

“I can’t deny that Solas, as much as I want too. But you can still end this.”

“Vehnan..they need me.”

“And who is it that needs you exactly? Because the elves are already living in a world they would rather not see burn.” She spoke firmly now, with her hands at her side. 

“The elves of your world are only half of themselves, my people are still out there relying on me to make them whole again.”

“And they would have this at the expense of countless innocent lives? How can anyone justify such a thing?” She spoke, staring into his eyes. So filled with guilt and remorse.

“Destroying whats already here for something that’s already been lost.” He turned away at that.

“You weren’t there. You have no idea what was lost. If you were, you would understand.”

“I beg to differ. The elves survived, why can’t that be enough?”

“Because they are only half living. This life away from the fade is nothing. And the people of this world’s fear of magic is primitive and misguided.”  He spat sounding truly disgusted now, that perfect mask of his crumbling.

“Am I nothing too? just a dumb animal fumbling around in this world you created?

“Vhenan I-” He turned back to her, the disgust fleeting from his features.

“-Don’t.” She cut him off.

“And are they truly so misguided? Isn’t it magic that is threatening to end all of them?”

“It isn’t.” 

“Than what?” 

Solas let out a heavy sigh under the weight of Syila gaze.

“There were few demons in the days of Arlathan, have you ever wandered why that is?”

“It wasn’t exactly on the list of things I have time to worry about, Solas.” She watched the side of his mouth turn up slightly at her reply.

“Everything in the fade is a reflection of the “real” world. The fade and its inhabitants can warp and change based on what it thinks we want, or what we are feeling. We knew spirits to be beautiful creatures, flowing and feeling their way into existence. We knew them like we knew ourselves, so they were never warped by our perceptions of them.” He paused then, just as the lights began to dim.

The lights that came from nowhere. It was just light enough to make out Solas’s form before her. She reached for him when the winds began to still. And then it was pitch black. She felt like she was lost in an endless cave with no direction, the only feeling being Solas’s shoulders beneath her fingertips. She hadn’t been this scared in years.

“But in your world.” He began again.

“Your people are so fearful and ignorant.” He spoke, his voice sounding farther and farther away.

“That they warp every spirit they touch. Spirits of justice, and empathy become Demons of vengeance and spite.” His voice was coming from all directions now, and she could no longer feel him. And now she couldn’t feel the ground, all directions somehow led up and down. She was falling and rising, spinning and still. With only Solas’s voice echoing in all directions. 

“I will lift the vail, but it won’t be me that destroys this world, they will do that to themselves. Spirits everywhere; my friends, will become demons.