Work Header


Chapter Text

Cas laid in the bathtub,  arms stretched out over the sides. Blood splattered onto the white tile,  staining it red. He kept he's eyes closed,  the wounds he inflicted releasing the pain for oDean a moment. 'Cas!  Open the door!  Cas! ' Dean hollered,  banging on the door; threatening to knock it down.  Cas stood from the batht ub, his clothes soaked from the water.
   He walked over to the door,  and turned the knob.  'Hello Dean,  what do you want? ' Cas said,  his blood dripping down his arms.  Dean grapped Cas' arms,  and rolled up the blood stained arms of the trench coat. 'Cas,  why do you do this? ' Dean's voice quivered.  He held onto Cas' arms,  the blood running onto his hands. 
    'I don't know,  Dean.  It makes the feelings go away. ' Cas replied,  staring Dean in the eyes.  Deans face fell,  he hated to see him like this. Releasing Cas' arms,  he pulled him in for a hug.  'Its okay,  Cas.  Everything is okay. Pain doesn't make you weak, it wakes you up and tells you. You're alive,  Cas.  Pain demands to be felt,  but its only temporay.' Dean replied,  squeezing Cas.
   'If you say so,  Dean. ' Cas replied,  dead eyed.  Biting the corner of his lower lip,  Dean grapped  Cas' hand and leads him to the sink.
   Slowly,  he helps Cas take off his trench coat.  Then the the rest of his clothes,  piling them into a corner.  Standing there wearing only his boxers,  Dean couldn't help but think about how lost he would be without Cas....
   'Here.' Dean stated,  wrapping bandages around Cas' arms. 'You didn't cut too deep,  but it'll leave a hell of a scar.  Cas,  promise me one thing? ' Dean asked,  looking up from the bandages into Cas' eyes.  'Anything Dean. ' Cas whispered.  'Don't do this again. ' Dean stated,  tying off the bandage on the left arm. 
   'Okay Dean... I promise. ' Cas said,  tearful eyed. Biting his lower lip again,  Dean wanted to kiss Cas... But he was scared to... If he didn't feel that way towards Dean,  he would lose his best friend... He realesed the other arm,  and nodded walking out the door. 
   'Damn it... I wanted him to kiss me,  to hold me... ' Cas thought to himself. 'He doesn't feel that way towards me,  Deans not gay. Of course not. ' Cas thought as he looked into the mirror. 'Only if I wasn't... Only if I wasn't different. . in love with someone who can never love me back... ' He whispered,  picking up the bloody razor blade off the counter.
  'I'm sorry Dean,  I'm breaking our promise. ' He whispered,  lifting the razor to his skin.