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"I've Got Something To Tell You"

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Tsukuyomi Shirabe did not seek out sex, she enjoyed it, but It was hardly ever something she ever felt the need for. At times, just to get the reaction she liked out of her Kiri-chan, she would initiate but something felt off tonight. “Kiri-chan?” she asked, noticing the flinch from her lover “What’s wrong?” Shirabe backed off, giving Kiri-chan some space.

“Its..” Kiri-chan mumbled, not meeting Shirabe’s eyes “I’m scared how you’ll react” she pulled her knees up to her chin and hugged her legs. Kiri-chan was always so perky and cheerful in public that Shirabe was used to her being a bit more subdued in private, but I had been a while since she could remember seeing her like this.

“It’s okay, take your time, I’ll listen and I won’t judge you” Shirabe shifted herself to sit on her knees “What has you worried” she tried to keep the worry out her voice but wasn’t sure how much she succeeded.

It took Kiri-chan a few minutes to build herself up to speak “I… I’ve been feeling really uncomfortable lately” she shifted on her spot of the bed before hugging herself tighter “So I looked around online to see if there was like mental health symptoms I could use to work it out and” she paused again, Shirabe could see how much Kiri-chan was pushing herself, as they made eye contact again the pain was written all over her face. “I… I want to” she choked as tears started falling “I wanna be a boy” she whimpered out.

Shirabe took a second to process what she heard “So that would make it…”. She thought for a moment “Is that why you looked so happy the first time the Commander called you Kiri-kun?” she asked. Kiri-chan’s sobbing cut off with a confused look “Y-yeah I ... guess, it was nice to hear it… but you’re, not upset with me?” the fear leaking back into her voice.

“No why would I...oh” Shirabe stopped herself, finally realising what the confession had meant “Okay, does this make you..”

“Transgender” Kiri-chan cut in before softening her voice again “T-thats the term I saw used when I was looking stuff up. It means that my brain doesn’t match my body so it, starts to freak out when it realises certain things”

This was a lot of new information for Shirabe to digest “So… when you see your body and its not male there’s a disconnect?” she asked, unsure if she was coming off as rude. Kiri-chan looked back to her “Y-yeah that’s exactly it… I just, don’t know if you’d still want to be with me if I was a boy”

“Of course I would be!” Shirabe said as she lept forward on the bed, coming face to face with her dearest person “I love you because you’re you Kiri… kun, not because of your body” In an instant, Kiri-kun broke into tears as he embraced Shirabe, sobbing “I love you, I love you so much” into her neck. Shirabe put her arms around her boyfriend and returned same tight hug, trying as best she could to make him feel safe. “I love you too Kiri-kun” placing a gentle kiss on his head.

Kiri-kun detached himself from Shirabe and leaned back, smiling that same goofy grin she loved so much . Shirabe smiled back before saying “I have such a handsome boyfriend” before gently taking his head in her hands and pulling him closer to plant a soft kiss on his lips. “Now I don’t really know anything about this, so please bear with me as I learn, but always understand that I will always be on your side, okay” Kiri-kun reached up and took her hands in his “I don’t know a lot either but, this seems like a good start”

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“Kiri-kun” Shirabe called from the living room “How does Kirio sound?” she waited for a response from Kiri-kun who was out on the balcony bringing in their small laundry. “Hmm, its close, but it does fit the theme” he pondered, closing the screen door with his foot and setting the basket down “How is it written?” Shirabe couldn’t contain her smile as she laid it all out “So, I found a way that’s written for given names, and it can also be read as Male, Excellence or Leadership” she leaned forward on the couch to turn the laptop around to Kiri-kun.

“Oh that sounds dope!” he exclaimed hopping from foot to foot “Oh thats really cool and I get to keep Kiri too!” he plopped down on the couch next to her “I can put that name change form in now, then we can go out for dinner!” Shirabe eyed the abandoned laundry basket and raised an eyebrow “Dont we need to get some things done before that?” she asked with a smirk.

“Nah that can wait”

“Kiri-kun it’s only 9am, the post doesn’t go out till 5 o'clock”

“So that means there’s plenty of time to do the laundry after we post it off and celebrate!” he replied with a grin from ear to ear. Shirabe sighed at his view of infallible logic “Okay let’s go, but remember we’re seeing Maria for dinner so don’t pig out”

“I know I know” he said with a laugh as he dashed off to their room to grab the papers off the desk and all Shirabe could do was smile.

 

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“So, what did you want to tell us?” Maria asked from the other side of the dinner table. The weight of what they had come over for that night came crashing back down on Kirio's shoulders. “Well I … there’s some stuff I need to talk to you about” he managed to get out, already feeling his panic rising again. He felt Shirabes hand brush against his, then grab it before giving it a gentle squeeze. He snuck a glance over at his girlfriend.

“Are you telling us you’re both getting married?” cut in Tsubasa with her usual tackt.

“W-what!? No! I mean, not yet? Probably soon?” Kirio was definitely panicking now, pleading with his eyes to Shirabe to help. Shirabe thankfully got the hint “No, Kiri-kun has something important to tell you both”

Maria slightly raised an eyebrow “Kun?” she turned to Tsubasa who just shrugged at her, what was that about. “A-n-y way” enunciated Kirio “So I’ve been thinking about stuff for a while now and I..” deep breath, another gentle squeeze from Shirabe before vomiting out “I’m going to transition so I can be a man” And he braced for the trademark Cadenzavna Panic Attack.

“Oh” was all he got out of Maria “Okay so are you planning to transition medically or are you just going to change your clothes and appearance”

“What” he replied.

“Have you found a specialist doctor or endocrinologist or psychiatrist you trust yet” cut in Tsubasa.

“A what now” he asked back.

Maria crossed her arms and then held her chin as she wondered aloud “Either way you’re going to need to replace entire parts of your wardrobe”

Tsubasa got a serious look to her face and asked “Are you considering surgery at all, please know that we will support you regardless of what you decide and can help with the costs”

 

“WHY AREN’T YOU HAVING A PANIC ATTACK!?” yelled Kirio, dumbfounded at the reaction he received, looking between his foster mothers “I really appreciate this and I feel so lucky to have such great parents BUT I WASN’T EXPECTING THIS” He could feel his own heartbeat speeding up as Shirabe rubbed his back in an effort to calm him.

“Oh that’s because..” started Maria, looking towards Tsubasa, who made a wry smile and said “Sorry son, I think I beat you to sparking a transgender panic attack 7 years ago”

Kirio was dumbfounded “YOU MEAN I HAD A BADASS TRANS MUM THIS WHOLE TIME”

“Im sorry dear, we weren’t sure if we should tell you. It’s a secret we have to keep from pretty much everyone” pleaded Maria “You also have a tendency to..” she struggled to find the right words.

“You speak your thoughts out loud all the time Kiri-kun” Shirabe said with an apologetic smile.

Kirio raised his voice and started to stand up “I DO … so … yeah that’s fair” he deflated and sat back down in his chair.

“Well if you want” Tsubasa offered “Maria and I have the next few days off so we can help you with some clothes shopping and setting up appointments. I can direct you to my doctor, she knows a few trans friendly places in the city”

“I’d ..” Kirio started before choking back a sob “I’d really lub that” was all he was able to get out as he started sobbing.

“Oh sweetie” Maria cooed, getting out of her chair to comfort her son “Its going to be alright, we’re all here for you” she said wrapping him in a motherly embrace.

Tsubasa slid her phone across the table, the screen facing Kirio “So do you want me to tell Elfnein she has a new big brother or do you want to tell her yourself?”

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