The first time I saw him I barely noticed him. He was just another white kid in a fancy suit. He looked like a twelve year old but seeing as he was carrying a stack of folders in one arm and a coffee in the other, he must have worked there.
I took the proffered coffee and gestured for the folders to be set on the desk. That’s how it went for the first few months. If I spoke I asked for blacker coffee or for him to deliver or pick up items. His only words were “yes, sir,” “no, sir,” and the occasional “of course, sir, anything else.”
I’ll admit, I had noticed his eyes on me. It’s not like he made it subtle the way he full body scanned me everyday. So the kid was queer. I didn’t care, hell, I was flattered he thought I was worth looking at. Plus, despite the looks he remained very professional and respectful. I appreciated his maturity.
It wasn’t till the work Christmas social anything happened. I was drunk. He was drunk. We all were. An hour or so into the party he approached and sat beside me. We talked for the first time since I had started at the company. I told him where I was from, a bit about my family, and he told me where he had graduated a year back and how long he’d been with the company. I found out he was twenty five. He still looked like a twelve year old. A very nicely dressed and perfectly put together twelve year old but still.
I was feeling warm and comfortable when he finally leaned in closer.
“You’re a very attractive man, sir,” he’d murmured.
“Have you ever been with a man before?”
“Can’t say I have.”
“Ever thought about it?” His hand came to rest on my knee. I raised an eyebrow at him.
“Should I be?”
He smiled. “I’d make it worth your wild.”
I scanned him then. I’d honestly never considered or even desired being with another man. I found women very attractive and had always thoroughly enjoyed my time with them. But it had been a while, since I’d been so busy with this new job. My curiosity was piqued.
This time I leaned in. “You would let me fuck you, boy?”
His pupils widened as his eyes dropped to my lips. “I would beg you to, Sir.”
I liked the sound of that.
“Then come on. There’s not much night left.”
I took him to my place and he didn’t waste a second. The moment the door was closed he was on his knees unfastening my trousers. I’d had my fair share of blowjobs but I had to give the kid credit. He knew what he was doing. He ended up face down on my bed and just as he’d promised he begged for it. Before I was finished with him he was a mewling, whimpering mess.
I hadn’t expected more than a nice way to get off so I was surprised how much he’d turned me on. His body was slender but he had good hips and a nice round ass. He was completely shaved and his skin was deliciously soft. From the back he almost looked like a skinny girl with a perfect ass and a really tight hole. But it wasn’t just that. It was the way he begged and moaned. He was so hungry for it. He loved every inch of my body and craved my cock. I had never felt so desired. He came without even touching himself.
I let the kid use my shower to wash up as I changed the sheets. When he came back out he was dressed, though still looking extremely ruffled.
“I guess I should go. Thanks for a good time.”
“I’ll call you a cab.”
That was the last I heard from him during the Christmas break.
The first time I saw him I was floored. His skin was barely a shade lighter than his suit. A suit that clung in all the right places. He had dark chocolate eyes and the most gorgeous smile. He was on the phone and barely spared me a glance but that allowed me to look my fill. His voice made me want to melt.
I’ve always known I was gay. I kissed my first boy when I was five. I knew I was a bottom since I knew what sex was. I let my math tutor fuck me when I was thirteen. I knew then I was submissive. I loved the way he bossed me around and told me how he liked me. My type of man had consistently gotten larger and older since then. I needed a big man who knew what he wanted and knew how to tell me that.
The moment I saw him I knew he’d be perfect. That honeyed voice growling orders and praise in my ear as his hulking frame wrapped around me and fucked me within an inch of my sanity. The thought always got me shivering.
And he did not disappoint. I was thrilled when he agreed during the Company Christmas party and then took me to his home. I was hard the whole way there. I had barely been able to wait to get him naked. His cock was perfect; long and thick with a large head and curved just right. I was salivating before I even tasted it.
It was the perfect fuck. He was good to me and made me feel perfect. The only disappointment was that he didn’t invite me to stay. He paid for my cab, though, so that was nice. That night my body ached in all the right places and I knew that wasn’t going to be our one and only fuck.
When we got back to work, I decided to be cool about it and didn’t even bring up the weekend. But I chatted more and asked about his Christmas. I even made him laugh when I shared a funny story about my brother and his dog. Things were different. We were different. He looked at me now. Not just as an assistant but as a person. An attractive person. I upped my game and dressed as alluringly as I could for work. I needed him to need me again.
It wasn’t till after New Years that anything happened again. I had been moving boxes from his office to storage in an attempt to make more room in his filing cabinets, when he stopped me.
“Are you wearing pink lace?”
I remember blushing because I honestly hadn’t meant for him to see that but upon facing him I could see the intrigue in his eyes.
“The silk feels good,” I explained.
“Let me see it.”
The order sent a thrill through my body and I was hard instantly.
He nodded. Without looking away, I slowly undid my pants and pushed them down enough he could see my hard cock pushing against the delicate pink material of my lingerie.
His eyes were definitely hungry. I turned and showed off my ass, running a finger over the crack.
“Do you like it, sir?”
He slid up close beside me and one large hand nearly covered my entire stomach and the other massaged my bum. I felt like purring.
“You like showing off, don’t you, boy?”
“Anything for you, sir.”
“You like it when I tell you what to do?”
“Yes,” I sighed as his fingers played over my nipple.
“Yes what?” He growled and I honestly almost came at the sound.
“Go lock the door.”
“On your knees.”
“Open your mouth, boy. You have ten minutes starting now to get me off.”
I obeyed. He was so hot. My mind instantly slipped into submission as I welcomed his cock into my mouth. He only lasted five minutes.
I don’t know why I did it. I’d never done anything as risky as sex at work. But I had glanced over at him as he had bent over for a box and had seen the trim of pink lace visible under his raised shirt. My mind had gone blank and I’d spoken without thinking. The boy didn’t argue. He did everything I asked and loved it.
After I came in his mouth, I pulled his head back by his hair. His eyes were unfocused, his cheeks flushed, and his lips glossy with spit.
His eyes clenched shut with a whimper and his body jerked. He’d come in his panties by my words alone. I was mad with desire. I wanted to drag him to my desk, bend him over, and fuck him till we both came again. But I could hear my phone ringing. Our coworkers were just outside the door. And memory told me this boy wasn’t quiet during sex.
“On your feet. Clean yourself up then get back to work. If anyone asks tell them you’re not feeling well.”
He nodded, still slightly dazed. “Yes, sir,” he whispered. He headed for the door but before he left I added, “And I’d like to drive you home tonight.”
“Of course, sir. I’d like that.”
“Until tonight then.”
I did a lot of research then. I wanted to understand what was happening between the boy and me. And that night I asked him what it was he wanted. I was impressed with his confidence. He knew what he wanted and wasn’t ashamed or embarrassed. I was intrigued and agreed to give him exactly what he wanted. We agreed on safe words then I spanked him till he was red and begging for my cock which I gladly provided.
He didn’t stay that night or the next night we got together. We got into a routine of weekly sex, no strings attached. It was about two months later and we were in bed after a long, hard fuck. I’d kept him at breaking point for at least an hour before sending him over the edge. He was still breathing hard but he pushed close to me. He whimpered as he nuzzled at me. We hadn’t ever been one for cuddling after sex but he seemed upset.
“You alright, kid?”
“Hol’ me,” he begged. “P’ease, daddy.”
He’d never called me that nor had even brought up wanting to. I would’ve questioned him but I could tell something was wrong. He was dazed and distance. I had read about sub-space and guessed that was what was happening. I didn’t really know what to do but I knew that he needed to feel safe. So I pulled him close and ran my fingers through his hair while murmuring soft words in his ear. He melted against my touch. Once he had really settled down, I carried him to the kitchen and had him drink a couple glasses of water.
I hadn’t wanted to send him home like that so I took him back to bed and settled us in for the night.
He looked so soft and sweet asleep. So different from the sexy, wild creature from a few hours earlier. I didn’t know it then but I think that’s when I first started falling for him.
I woke the next morning to the boy dressed and gathering his things.
“Where you going?”
“Gotta get home. Sorry about last night. Didn’t mean to stay.”
“It was fine. You’ll have to let me know what I can do better if that happens again.”
He looked at me sharply but nodded. “Yeah. ‘Course. See you at work.”
He let himself out and I didn’t see him for a week.
I hadn’t expected our kind of sex would get me high. I mean, the sex had been intense and sure he had held my throat for some of it but I’d done a lot worse and hadn’t reached that level of high. I think because it was so unexpected the drop was so much worse than usual. I usually knew how to handle those but I hadn’t prep him on what was happening. His instinct that night had been good but I didn’t want to ask for more than we had agreed on. I should’ve known better.
He wasn’t at work Monday or Tuesday. By Wednesday I was concerned. I asked after him to find out his brother had called in sick for him the last couple of days. I texted him to see if he was okay but got no answer. By Thursday, I left work early to go to his house.
Another man answered the door.
“He’s not well,” was the only answer I got.
“Can I see him?”
“He’ll be back to work next week.”
“Will you at least let him know I stopped by?”
I got a call from the man that night.
“He asked me to call you. He’s not in a mindset to talk rationally right now. I know about your relationship with my brother.”
“You’re his brother?”
“Yes. Do you know what happened to him the other night he was with you?”
“Yeah. He didn’t expect that to happen so he apologizes for not prepping you.”
“It’s fine. Is he okay? Did I hurt him?”
“You didn’t hurt him. Do you know what happens after sub space?”
“I’ve read a bit about it. A drop, right?”
“Yeah. He’s dropped real hard probably because it was so unexpected.”
“Does he need anything?”
“He’d like to talk to you.”
“Listen. I’m going to be honest, I don’t like this thing my brother does. It can be dangerous for him to get this close this fast but you seem like a decent guy. Are you prepared to give more emotionally?”
“I’ll give what he needs.”
“Okay. Good. Once he’s out of his funk you two need a talk about where you guys are going and he needs to educate you better. I’m going to send you some links about what he’s like and what you’ll need to prepare yourself for if this should continue.”
“You’re very involved in your brother’s sex life.”
“It’s more than just sex for him. He’s a bit all encompassing. You still in for this?”
“Yes. Let me talk to him.”
“Okay. Be good to him. He’s totally worth it.”
Then he was on the phone.
“Tell me I’m a good boy.” He sounded miserable.
“The very best. Will you tell me what’s wrong?”
“I need to be good for you.”
“You are always good for me.”
“Can I call you daddy?”
“Is that what you want?”
He sighed and I could hear some anxiety leave him.
“Can I be your baby boy?”
“Yes, baby. Daddy would like that.”
“Can I see you?”
“Yes, daddy. Please.”
“Okay, baby boy, I’ll text you when I’m outside. Is it okay for me to hang up?”
“Are you really coming?”
“Yes, baby, I promise. I’ll be there in ten minutes.”
I was so anxious to see him. I hadn’t realized that being near my dom was such a necessity for my drops. I usually spent the whole weekend with one for aftercare or had my brother over to cuddle me. My brother had taken good care of me but my depression got worse as the week went on. I was feeling more needy than usual and there are obvious things that a brother is not willing to give.
When he told me my man had come to see me, it had felt like hope. My brother hadn’t wanted to trust him but he knew I needed it. I agreed to let my brother talk to him first.
I was so anxious I waited outside and the relief was instant when I finally saw his car. He got out and pulled me into a hug and I melted into his arms. I felt calm and safe for the first time in days.
“Take me home,” I demanded.
He shook his head. “No baby. I think it’s best you stay where you’re familiar. Let’s go inside.”
He greeted my brother and my brother left once we both assured it would be fine. Then he took me into the kitchen and made me a sandwich and a cup of milk. After he was certain I had eaten, he took me to bed, tucked me in, and wrapped his large frame around me.
“Would you...can we take our shirts off?”
“Of course, baby.”
I curled up against his dark skin and immediately drifted off.
When I woke he was still with me. He had one arm wrapped around me and the other scrolling through his phone.
“How are you feeling, baby?” He asked when he noticed I was awake.
I could already tell I was over my funk because I was immediately embarrassed. I buried my face in my hands.
“I am so sorry.”
“You don’t have anything to be sorry about. I could’ve said no. Why didn’t you tell me about the whole daddy/baby boy thing when we talked about what we wanted?”
“A daddy involves a bit more than just sex. I want a daddy who takes me out, buys me presents, takes care of me, and...and loves me. That’s not something you ask hook ups.”
“...you asked me last night if you could be my baby boy. Does that mean we’re becoming more than hook ups?”
I blushed, humiliated that I had asked him that. I hadn’t been in my right mind.
“N-no. We don’t have to. We can pretend none of this happened and keep things as they are. Or we could stop everything all together. I mean I totally get it. You were completely straight before Christmas. A relationship is a lot to ask.”
He didn’t say anything and I waited in horrified silence.
“You wanna go out?” He finally asked. I looked up startled. That was not what I was expecting.
“I didn’t mean you had to-“
He cut me off. “Let’s say I’m interested. We may as well start with a classic first date. Start to get to know each other better.”
“You... you’d do that?”
“As long as you want that? Am I someone you’d consider?”
“Okay. How about tonight? I’ll take you out somewhere nice?”
“I’d really, really like that.”
He chuckled and kissed my forehead.
“Go shower and get dressed. I’m going to go get something for breakfast.”
That night had gone well. He dressed up but differently from work and had looked really nice. I was really beginning to appreciate his male figure. He was truly stunning. He was nervous, I could tell. I think he was also still embarrassed about the night before.
I was surprised with myself. I’d never really had a relationship. I’d never really tried, never had been interested but there I was trying to impressed this boy. I enjoyed having sex with him. I enjoyed working with him. I enjoyed talking to him and listening to him. Everything I had done with him was new to me. Sex with a man, the sir/boy thing, cuddling, daddy/boy thing. But I had liked all of it. I liked him. I didn’t want this to end and if that meant taking him on dates and coming over to his house when he needed me and letting him call me daddy then I was fine with it.
I hadn’t meant for anything to happen that night. I was going to let it be a good, innocent first date but my boy wouldn’t allow it. He was on me as soon as we were back in the car.
“Baby, wait till we get home.”
He whined and nuzzled at my crotch. I dug my fingers in his hair and pulled him up to look at me. “I said wait, baby boy.”
He gaped at me, his eyes already dark with lust. “Yes, daddy.”
Fuck. That was the first time he’d said it in a sexual way and my body reacted immediately. I was very much okay with this.
“How about you get yourself ready for me, baby? Show daddy how you prep yourself.”
I watched him out of the corner of my eye as we drove home. He sucked his fingers wet and stuck them in his hole, moaning and calling daddy the whole way. It riled us both up and by the time my apartment door closed, I had him up against the wall and my cock deep in his ass.
“You’re such a naughty boy for daddy, aren’t you?”
“Ah yes daddy!”
“You like that cock in your ass? Filling you up? Claiming you?”
“Yes, daddy, fuck! Fuck me! Use me!”
It didn’t take either of us long before we were coming, him against the wall and me all over his back. We sagged against the wall a moment and I nipped and kissed along his neck and shoulders.
“Oh fuck,” my boy sighed. “That was the hottest sex I’ve ever had.”
Once we were cleaned up somewhat and lying in bed he started lazily sucking me. I asked him, “Have you had a daddy before?”
“They never fucked you up against a wall?”
“Then what made that the hottest fuck you’ve ever had?”
“It just feels different with you.”
Neither one of us could talk after that because his mouth was full and my brain no longer knew words.
That first date was all it took. He was such a gentleman, leading me around, casually touching me, paying for everything. He actually listened to me. I could tell and that look of concentration got me super horny. I wanted him to own me.
I wanted to show him how good I could be. Make him want me for good and when he pulled my head back and looked darkly in my eyes and told me to be patient I knew I would do anything he asked. With just a look he made me submit.
He fucked me against a wall and murmured dirty things in my ear but he also held me steady so I didn’t slip and kept his hand on the wall so I wouldn’t bang my head. I felt infinitely precious and deliciously slutty at the same time. It was magical.
I was going to be the best baby boy ever. I was going to show daddy that no one could ever serve his needs better than me.
We had sex every day after that. He started just coming home from work with me, we’d fuck, get in the shower, fuck in the shower, make dinner, eat dinner, eat my boy’s ass, fuck in the kitchen or living room, watch a movie or just talk, get ready for bed, kiss and maybe a hand job or some fingering, then fall asleep together. Cuddling my boy was nice especially when it often turned into sex. My boy was insatiable. He was always eager for whatever I wanted to dish out. I hadn’t had regular sex like this since...well ever.
I was thirty two, definitely not old, and my libido was pretty high but I could barely keep up with this kid. Sometimes, all he’d need is a few fingers in his mouth for him suckle on and he’d settle right down. He had this happy sound, almost like a purr. It was fucking adorable. Sometimes when I felt like it, I’d have him kneel beneath my desk and just warm my cock with his mouth while I caught up on some work. He loved it. He loved me bossing him around and fucking him hard and using him, but I knew he also loved being cuddled and adored and complimented.
I had started sending him flowers at work. No one but him knew they were from me but they caused quite a stir. Everyone wanted to know who his new beau was but he’d just grin and carry them around all day. When no one was around he’d sit on my lap, kiss me, and say “thank you daddy.” I was definitely soft for him.
It was perfect for the first month and a half. Sex got increasingly better as we played out his fantasies and I discovered some new kinks. But sometimes at night when I’d wake up and I’d find his face buried into my side and our limbs tangled, I’d get this weird feeling in my gut. This was becoming a lot more than sex buddies. He was attached. I was attached. I didn’t know how to handle that.
My thirty third birthday was coming up so I told him not to come over that day because I was going to be spending it with some friends of mine. I think he was a little hurt that I didn’t want to spend it with him but I promised we could do something later. He got over it pretty quick and seemed to be excited to plan something for us. I was relieved. I thought if he had made a big deal out it I would know that we were becoming too much.
I hadn’t told anyone close to me that I had a baby boy on the side. It wasn’t necessarily that I was afraid of what they’d say about me suddenly being interested in boys, it was more I’d never been close to anyone like I was getting close to my boy and telling everybody felt like too much. I wasn’t ready to accept that he might be...a romantic partner...like a boyfriend. Being his daddy felt like sex, not a label, and I could handle sex. We cuddled and went out because we were having sex. That’s what I’d told myself.
I figured out I’d been wrong on my birthday.
I decided to make a show out of Daddy’s birthday. He had liked my pink panties before but we hadn’t really done much with lingerie since. I went all out. I got myself a whole set: bra, panties, garters, tights, you name it. I hadn’t worn makeup for Daddy either so I made sure to darken my eyes and shine my lips. I worked a pretty jeweled plug into my hole and felt all ready for my daddy. I felt pretty damn sexy and I’d practiced a whole strip tease with music then I planned on riding Daddy till he couldn’t fill me with anymore cum. It had seemed like a solid plan.
Daddy hadn’t necessarily given me a key but he had shown me where his spare was hidden. I let myself in to set up and then got comfy on his bed.
It was pretty late when I heard noises outside the room. I jumped up to surprise Daddy but froze when another man walked in the room. His eyes widened when he saw me. Then he laughed.
“Oh fuck, man,” he called. “Someone sent you a hooker.”
Daddy came around the corner. He looked very surprised but not the good kind of surprise. I watched as several emotion seemed to cross his face but then he forced a smile.
“Dude, did you do this?” He nudged his friend.
The man laughed. “If I had ordered you a twinky whore do you seriously think I would have rushed to the bathroom first?”
I watched Daddy laugh and I felt my stomach twisting. He looked straight at me.
“Listen, kid, it ain’t that type of party. I don’t know who sent you or how you got in but you should go.”
His eyebrows raised pointedly.
“I’ll pay you for the night and call you a cab. Get your clothes back on.”
With that they both left laughing. I felt numb. He...he had pretended he didn’t even know me. I sat back on the bed for a second and then fetched my clothes from the bathroom. When I came out they were sitting on the couch with a third man drinking beers.
The third man whistled. “Are you sure he can’t stay? He’s pretty hot for a boy. Brad said he was in lingerie, let’s just pretend he’s a girl.”
Daddy shushed him with his hand. “Keep it in your pants, Olly. He’s heading out. This was just someone’s idea of a practical joke.”
It felt like a punch to the gut. Daddy steered me to the door and stuck a 100$ into my hand. The numbness turned to hurt and then to anger in .3 seconds. I threw the money at his face.
He caught up to me by the elevator.
“I told you not to come.”
“I didn’t know you would be bringing friends home.”
“That’s why I told you not to come!”
“So what? Just let them believe I’m a prostitute?”
“What else are they supposed to think?”
“Yeah ok. Well 100 bucks is lousy pay. Best get out on the streets. I’m sure I’ll draw in a few rich daddies happy to fuck my twinky whore ass!”
“You’re gonna head straight home and I’ll call you in the morning,” he growled.
“I might let you boss me around in bed but I don’t have to do anything you tell me to do so fuck off!”
He grabbed my arm and I let my hand fly. He staggered back holding his face.
“I think we’ve talked enough. Don’t bother calling.”
I’d fucked up. I knew I had but I couldn’t help being upset. Why couldn’t he have just listened to me and given me some space? He had put me in a tough situation without any preparation. I’ll admit I panicked.
I shouldn’t have pretended not to know him but in my panic I grasped at my friends’ assumption and played along. I saw the hurt on my boy’s face the moment I spoke. He had looked so vulnerable and small even in his skimpy get up. In that moment he really was just a boy and I didn’t do a damn thing to protect him.
He ignored me at work Monday, merely setting things on my desk and then rushing back out. I didn’t stop him. I was too upset as well. I let it go on for two weeks. It became like nothing had ever happened between us. I’ll admit it had hurt. I missed him. At night, just thinking about how I last saw him, all dressed up pretty for me, and I’d get hard. But jerking off to thoughts of him seemed so wrong when he was so mad at me.
It hadn’t been all sex with us either. He had loved superhero movies, or really anything with explosions and a hot male lead. Watching him watch movies had been one of my favorite activities. Cooking together had been nice too. He’d laughed so much, so openly that it never felt like a chore.
I had not thought of us as being together in any sort of official way so I couldn’t understand why I felt sad and mopey that he wasn’t around anymore. I had thought it was just the sex but even going out and finding another partner hadn’t felt right. Every time I tried I went home alone.
“So, who was she?” my friend asked when we were out for drinks.
“The girl you’ve been fucking. Did she leave or something?”
“Why do you think I’ve got a girl?”
“Because you stopped coming out with us and you always looked really happy, like the kind of guy who is getting plenty of tail. But now you’re all grumpy which means the sex has stopped.”
“What if I told you that it hadn’t been a girl?” I finally replied.
My buddy raised an eyebrow. “You mean you’ve been fucking a man?”
“Does that bother you?”
“Not really. I’m just totally shocked. I’d never count you for a swinger.”
“Me neither. He was the first one.”
“Well fuck. Why did he leave?”
“You remember on my birthday that boy that was in my apartment?”
“Did your guy find out? Was he super pissed? Cuz you didn’t even fuck him?”
I winced. “That kid was him.”
My friend went silent for a moment trying to work it out.
“You’ve been fucking a male prostitute?”
“He’s not a prostitute.”
“So...he was just dressed like one waiting in your apartment. Kinky.”
“He’s never dressed like that before. I’m mean...once there was panties...but...it doesn’t seem weird when it’s him.”
“Where did you find this kid?”
“You work with him?!”
“Yeah. It kinda just happened. He offered, I accepted and it was really good. It was supposed to be only sex but...well I think we let things go too far.”
“And you called him a prostitute and kicked him out of your apartment. Shit, dude! Is he pissed?”
“He hasn’t talked to me in weeks.”
“How did you explain to him?”
“You haven’t talked to him?! I thought you liked him.”
“I’ve been upset. He wasn’t supposed to be there. Plus, what can I even say?”
“Did you even apologize?”
“Dude, you suck at relationship things.”
“That’s why I’ve never tried it. Why do I have to be responsible for everything? Why can’t we just say, ‘That was stupid. Let’s not do it again.’ And move on?”
“Because, heaven forbid, people have emotions. Well, if you just want a sex buddy go find someone else who’s a robot.”
“I’m not a robot. And I’ve tried to but I want him.”
“Then you better buckle up and work on your relationship skills. And probably apologize.”
My fury lasted five days. After that it simmered down to peeved, then mellowed into hurt. I didn’t cry till day seven. Then I was angry that I cried and the whole process started over again. I never spoke to him. If he wasn’t going to talk to me I figured he didn’t want me anymore.
I hated that. I’ve had daddies that I meet on weekends and it’s just a role play thing which is fine. That’s what we agreed on and I do like sex. I’m not very good at not having sex. Honestly I’m horny all the time so I like the few doms that I have on call that are usually always up for a fuck but he had been different. I’d felt different with him and I had thought he had too. He agreed to the relationship and I wanted a real relationship so bad.
I’d had boyfriends before. Some of them had been really good but they’d all been my age and never really into daddy kink. And I wanted that. Not just a boyfriend but a daddy.
I was surprised when I opened the door one night and there he was with a bouquet of daffodils which I knew he knew were my favorite.
“I’m here to say I’m sorry.”
“About fucking time.”
“I don’t know how to exactly but I really am sorry. I’m sorry I hurt you. I shouldn’t have done what I did. I know it was a dick move but I’ll admit I panicked. I wasn’t ready to tell my friends. I don’t do relationships. I never have. I thought we were fulfilling each other’s kinks and I didn’t realize that we had crossed that line a while ago until that night, after you left. I’ve missed you. I’ve never...felt that before. I’m not ready to give you up and I want to be able to talk about this as two adults and see if we might be able to work this out.”
“Did you rehearse that on the way over?”
He huffed. “I wasn’t about to make an apology on the fly.”
“And you still went with ‘dick move’?”
“Do I at least get credit for the ‘I’m not ready to give you up’ bit? This is hard alright.”
I laughed at him but invited him in.
“I don’t forgive you. I’m still mad,” I said once we were settled across from each other in my living room.
He sighed. “You have every right to be. I’m sorry. I don’t know how to fix that.”
“You pretended like you didn’t even know me. Do I embarrass you?”
“Is it ‘cause I’m a boy?”
“It’s not that.”
“I’ve never...been in a relationship. I mean I’ve had plenty of girls over the years but it’s never been like I’m yours and you’re mine kind of a deal. It was always just a bit of fun with plenty of sex thrown in. That’s all you were supposed to be but...it...was changing. I got scared. So I backed off. That’s why I didn’t want you to come over the other night. I just needed to breathe a little.”
“Yeah well, you’ve had plenty of that.”
“And I don’t like it. That’s what I’m trying to tell you. Usually I just move on and I meant to but I can’t get you out of my head!”
“I’m sure you’d have little problem finding someone for a night or two.”
“This isn’t about fucking, damn it! This is about you. I want you. I’ve never wanted anybody like this. No one has ever lit me up like this. I’m sorry I didn’t realize that. This is new for me. Cut me some slack. Please. Give me a chance to fix things.”
I sighed. “Why didn’t you just tell me that then? I know a lot of this is new to you but your just so good at it that I forget. You agreed to a relationship and I figured you’d tell me if something was bothering you.”
“I agreed to a relationship?”
“When you agreed to keep being daddy. I told you what that meant to me.”
“I thought we were working towards that not jumping straight to it.”
I swallowed. “So you don’t want to be in a relationship with me?” I asked slowly. Even after two weeks of thinking we were done my heart sank.
“I don’t know. What does that mean for us? What do you expect from me?”
“Well, like you said. I’m yours and you’re mine. Do you like me?”
“Yeah. Of course I do.”
“Would you be okay with telling people I’m your boyfriend?”
He studied me intently like he couldn’t decide.
“I don’t want this-what we have-to end. Does that mean yes?”
“Do that mean you want to keep having sex with me?”
“Yes. But I also like you coming over. I like talking. I like hearing you laugh. I like your food. I like watching movies and cuddling. I like it when you call me daddy. I like going to dinner and holding your hand and stuff.”
“You just don’t want to tell your friends about it?”
“I can tell my friends. I just...you surprised me and I wasn’t ready to explain what we were.”
“Okay. Then maybe we should step back a bit. I shouldn’t come over everyday and I won’t stay the night.”
“But I like it when you stay the night.” He pouted. I laughed. I couldn’t help it. It was adorable.
I got up and straddled his lap. I took his face in my hands and kissed his lips softly.
“I like staying the night too. I like you, daddy. I want you to be mine and I want to be the best baby boy ever. But I need to know you want that too.”
His large hands took my hips. “I like you too, baby. You’re already the best baby boy ever and I don’t want to let you go. I’d be an idiot to let that happen. I’ll try harder to be better for you. I-I do want to be your...b-boyfriend.”
“And my daddy?”
“Yes. More than anything.”
I kissed his lips again. “Okay, daddy. I forgive you.”