When they started, Steve always bottomed. When it was booty calls and pizza deliveries and jokingly using sex as a tip. Back when Tony dropped in one day to surprise him on his way to work and Steve was baffled. When Tony said, “well, you’re my boyfriend and I wanted to see you,” and Steve was floored because he’d thought this was just sex but immediately decided he wanted nothing more than to be Tony’s boyfriend, so he went with it. When Tony started spending the night; when Steve first went to Tony’s. When they would Google “free things to do in new york” for dates, until they figured out their favorite places and fell into a glorious routine.
And then one night, two months in, while they lay in a post sex haze, Tony confessed that he wanted Steve to make love to him. Those words.
“Of course,” Steve had said.
“I’ve wanted to try for so long,” Tony had whispered.
“Then why didn’t you ask?” Steve had asked.
“Because I didn’t know if you liked it that way. I didn’t want you to think I didn’t like what we were doing.”
Steve told him he was being silly. Tony gave him that shy little smile and Steve kissed his nose and then they fell asleep. In the morning Steve was the one topping, and it was so, so good. While Steve was buried inside of him, shakily hovering over him, rocking his hips gently, one of them mumbled “I love you so much.” Neither remembered who said it first. It didn’t matter who said it first , just that they’d both felt it, confessed it, chased the words down with a searing kiss and a shockingly intense orgasm.
The problem was that Steve’s cock was larger than Tony’s, despite everything else being so much smaller. Every time they did it, there was a moment when Steve looked down, the head of his cock pressed against Tony’s hole, and wondered if it was going to fit, how it was going to fit. Of course it did, because they always made painstaking efforts to make sure that Tony’s body was ready and slick. Tony assured him every time that it didn’t hurt, that Steve wasn’t hurting him, he swore it. And it felt so good, Tony’s tight ass around Steve’s hard cock. Steve trusted Tony; if Tony said he was fine, Steve believed him.
And now six months had passed since Steve hadn’t had enough money to tip Tony, and Steve was spending more nights at Tony’s apartment than at his own. He wasn’t sure when so many articles of his clothing had shown up there, or when he’d gotten his own drawer. But every morning when he opened his eyes to the adorable sight of Tony drooling into his pillow, he was so, so overjoyed.
Tonight, Steve was going to fuck Tony with no barrier between them. They’d gone to the doctor together, nervous excitement surging between them. Yesterday the results came in the mail. They were both clean. No oral or anal or genital infections or diseases. Neither had ever had sex without a condom before and Steve was intoxicated with the anticipation; eager and hesitant at the same time.
When it came to the decision of who would be inside of whom, it came down to a coinflip. Heads it was Tony; tails it was Steve. Tony flicked the coin off his finger and they held their breath while they waited for it to land. It touched down behind the couch; they impatiently peered over the edge to see the coin face down, the magnolia blossoms of the Mississippi quarter staring back at them.
And now Steve was sitting on the edge of Tony’s bed, twiddling his thumbs and checking the time on his phone every forty-five seconds. The key he’d been given for their five month anniversary weighed heavy in his pocket. While he’d let himself in before, it was never when Tony wasn’t there. Steve had wanted to surprise Tony, but now it felt like he was invading Tony’s privacy. What if Tony wanted to rest a bit before he called Steve over? Oh god. Steve jumped up and grabbed his coat, ready to make a mad dash out of the apartment to await Tony’s call, when the sound of a key sliding into a lock alerted him that Tony was home.
Should he pose? Get on the bed? He had seconds to decide. The door was being pushed open. Okay, well, the answer is to stand there and smile.
“Je sus, ” Tony shouted, grabbing his chest when he looked up and saw Steve.
“I didn’t mean to startle you. I, uh, hi. Um. Okay, so I wanted to play it cool but really I’m just too excited to wait. And, you know, kind of nervous? But the good kind of nervous!”
“Babe.” Tony was smiling. He wasn’t laughing at Steve. That was a good sign. Tony walked the few steps between them and let his hands fall to rest on Steve’s hips. “I’m good-nervous-slash-excited, too. I’m… Jesus. Do you wanna just do it now?”
“Yes.” It was more of a breath than a word. Tony understood the implication, the yes, now, please , and kissed him. Soft, careful. Not the kind of kiss that suggested they were about to fuck but, oh god, it was good. Tony was nipping slightly at Steve’s bottom lip, running his hands up and down Steve’s arms. A shiver ran through Steve, radiating from somewhere deep in his chest, radiating through his body until he could feel it in the tips of his fingers, the bottoms of his feet.
“I love you,” Tony mumbled, the words barely distinguishable with his mouth pressed close to Steve’s. This time, when their lips met, it was the searing kiss of insatiable lust. An indicator for what was to come. The events that were about to occur. Sex like they had ever had before.
Clothes were thrown in every direction, shoes awkwardly kicked off and underwear peeled from already sweaty bodies. Soon enough, Tony was lying on his back, legs spread, and Steve was grabbing the lube to prepare him. To stretch his ass wide enough to fit Steve’s larger-than-average-but-not- that -inconveniently-huge cock. When he saw it, he almost came on the spot.
“Tony—” his voice cracked like a pubescent teen. “Are you…? Did you… uh…”
Tony sat up, leaned forward, propped himself up with his hands behind his back. There was a blush coloring his cheeks. “Yeah. I went to the salon. I wanted…” Tony heaved a sigh. “I wanted to look pretty for you. And… and clean for you. So, I waxed and I had my—” Tony cleared his throat. “I had my asshole bleached.”
Words flew through Steve’s brain. Hundreds of words. Thousands of words. All sorts of things that he should be saying to Tony right now, but none of them would reach his mouth. “Wow,” was the only word he could manage. “That’s…”
“I just thought, you know. Neither of us have done this and it would be nice to do something special. And it’s your birthday, and you’re not really into material stuff, so…”
Steve leaned forward and kissed the worried crease between Tony’s brows. “Thank you. You’re beautiful always, but this is a lovely treat.” Steve moved lower to kiss Tony’s lips. “And I’d love to eat your ass before the night is through, but I want to kiss you while I fuck you, and… well… yeah.”
“You’re always good at dirty talk until you have to finish your thought. Yes, I would love for you to eat my ass some time in the near future. But right now… I want you to fuck me. Make love to me. I want you inside of me, no barriers between us.”
Steve nodded, his head jerking almost painfully in enthusiasm. Yes. This was what he wanted. This was what he’d always wanted. To have a partner with whom he was so trusting, so intimate, so irrevocably in love. It was with shaking hands that he grabbed and uncapped the lubricant they kept by their bed. Tony’s bed. Maybe someday it would be their bed. The prospect sent a jolt of euphoria to each and every one of his nerve endings.
“I could tell you ‘I love you’ every day for the rest of my life, and it would never be enough to truly capture how I feel. You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me, Tony Stark.” He kissed the inside of Tony’s thigh, trailing his thumb across Tony’s perineum until it was resting against his hole. “I don’t just love you. I admire you. Respect you. Trust you.” Shifting his wrist the tiniest bit, he pushed past the ring of muscle, his index finger now inside of Tony.
The muscles in Tony’s thighs started to shake. Steve kissed them, pressed his thumb against Tony’s perineum. “Shh, baby. I know you don’t like this first part. It’s weird. But we have to do it, you know? We have to do it so we can make it better.”
Tony nodded and unclenched his thighs. “Love you, too,” he muttered through clenched teeth. Steve, with the one finger still resting barely inside Tony, moved himself up to press their lips together.
“You’re so gorgeous,” Steve mumbled. “So pretty. So pretty for me. Thank you for letting me do this.”
Tony exhaled a hot breath of air, a mimic of a laugh. “You’re talking like I get nothing out of this.” After a few moments, he nodded his head in an unasked question. “Go ahead.”
Steve gave Tony the tiniest peck of a kiss before moving down his body again so he was face to face with Tony’s ass. During the time they’d been talking, some of the lube had migrated away from where it was supposed to be easing the way. Clicking open the bottle, Steve drenched his hand and Tony’s hole.
Now satisfied that he would be able to move without hurting Tony, he started to move his hand slowly, pushing the single finger deeper into Tony than before. Fuck, he was too tight. Not too. No, they’d been able to do this before. It always came as a surprise how fucking tight he was. And Tony liked it. Just not the first finger, said it felt like he had to “take a giant crap,” but after that…
A minute passed of steadily pumping his finger in and out of Tony, stroking against the sides, trying to rub out the tension. With a sharp inhale, Tony gave Steve wordless permission to continue on. To add a second finger. Tonight, though. Tonight Steve had another plan. He pulled out, leaving Tony to whine at the loss.
“One second, babe. I got you.”
His messenger bag was barely out of reach. He awkwardly crawled to it. After rummaging inside for a few moments, he held up his find with triumph. A small toy, a plug. He’d hoped that Tony would feel less self-conscious with it than with Steve’s hands.
“Oh,” Tony said.
“I kinda wanted… since we’re not doing barriers. Nothing between us. I was starting to feel okay with you just using fingers.”
Steve’s cock throbbed with the words. That was so good. So welcome. “I, uh, yeah. Sounds good.”
“I’m ready for more,” Tony assured, rubbing a single hand through Steve’s hair. As if Steve was the one needing reassuring. Maybe he was. Why was everything so fucking complicated? It’s not like they hadn’t had sex before. They’d had sex with each other before even exchanging names.
Steve got back on his knees between Tony’s legs. Even after what had been done before, Tony still looked too tight to take two fingers, let alone Steve’s cock. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt Tony. It was a ever present fear when they did it like this.
He pressed the first finger back inside of Tony. The second prodding at the hole. Then, using his free hand, he angled Tony’s cock into his mouth at the same moment he sunk the second finger in. Tony bucked up, a whimper escaping from the back of his throat. Yes. Good. Tony was enjoying this.
It went on like that for some time. Steve using the tip of his tongue to toy with the head of Tony’s cock, all the while fingering his ass. It doesn’t have to be super gay or anything. You could close your eyes while I gave you a blowjob. It was another Steve that had said that; another Steve in a different life. A Steve that hadn’t had the money and felt bad; a time where he went through his days without Tony, not knowing what he was missing. Not knowing what was to come.
The inside of Tony was soft and warm. It wasn’t until he had a third finger inside Tony, and Tony’s hips were stuttering in a silent plea for more, that Steve realized that soft, warm tissue would be encompassing not just his fingers, but his cock. Latex was thin, and there was definitely warmth that seeped through, but it was a cool wall. He’d not even thought about how the texture would be different.
“Steve. Please. I’m ready.”
It was the first time in Steve’s life where he can remember thinking of his reaction to something as a ‘gulp.’ This was it. Muscle memory had him reach to the table drawer for a condom before remembering. As if he could forget.
As it was, Tony was at the edge of the bed, his legs hanging over the side, Steve kneeling on the floor between them. “Scoot up,” Steve instructed. Tony wriggled his way up the bed until the top of his head was against the headboard. “Uh, okay.”
Steve leaned back and started stroking his cock. The view of Tony spread, waxed, loose, and hard was bewitching. There was nothing more in the world than this. A meteor could land outside the building and Steve wouldn’t have been able to tear his eyes away from Tony.
Unlike the priceless pieces of art he’d mooned over as a young kid when he snuck into the Met, Steve was allowed to touch this masterpiece. This perfect specimen of a human. Tony often told Steve he was beautiful. Steve would agree and laugh, knowing that the true beauty lay with the other man. Steve was scrawny and boney, so pale he was see-through; Tony was lithe and tanned, covered with beauty marks and that tattoo on his hip.
“Are you enjoying the show?” Tony taunted. “Because I’m loving the view here, but I’d also like to, you know, get on with it.”
“Yes, yes. Of course. God, you’re just so gorgeous.” Steve surged forward, bracing one hand beside Tony’s head, ducking down to capture his lips in a kiss. Then, pulling back, he stroked himself a few more times before lining up the head of his cock and pressing it against Tony’s hole.
As always, there was that fear surging through him. This was going to hurt Tony. Tony wasn’t going to enjoy this. It was going to be painful for Tony. It was a stressful loop that played in his head; a debilitating mantra.
But then he pushed forward the slightest bit and watched in awe as the head of his cock was swallowed by Tony’s ass. The uncovered, unsheathed, skin on skin contact was unbearable in the best way. Steve gasped, the arm bracing himself beside Tony’s head buckling at the elbow. It was too much. It was not enough.
Wrenching open his eyes, he caught Tony’s gaze. There was fire in his eyes, more so than Steve had ever seen before. This was unlike anything Steve had ever felt. It wasn’t only the fact that they were having sex sans-condom. It was the fact that they were doing it together. That they had chosen each other to be the one to share this experience. It was erotic and emotional and Steve, for the briefest of moments, felt his throat tighten.
“I am so deeply in love with you,” Tony gasped. Steve nodded, unable to form words over the returning knot in his throat. Not only could he not form the words to speak, he couldn’t form the words to even think. Why had they waited this long? He knew why, in the intelectual sense, but as he started pushing forward, his cock sliding into Tony little by little, sheathed in nothing but Tony himself, not a single reason came to mind.
What could have been years later, but was probably only moments, Steve was completely bottomed out inside of Tony. Tony was making little whining sounds. Steve wasn’t worried; he was well-versed in Tony’s pleasure whines versus his pained whines. These were most certainly the former.
“Fuck, Tony.” Steve had to force the words out, his chest heaving with the effort. “You feel so fucking good.” Because yeah, there was that. Sex with Tony had become somewhat of a spiritual experience for Steve. There were so many feelings, so much passion. When fucking turned into making love, it was all over for Steve. He was ruined for anyone else. But just because it was a divine act between them did not mean it wasn’t downright pornographic. It was good as those women faking their orgasms on screen made sex out to be.
Steve started to gently rock his hips, his thighs shaking from his waning control.
“Yeah… yeah…” Tony panted. “Fuck, mm.” There was a slight hitch in Tony’s breathing. That hitch was better than any verbal affirmation he could get. That noise meant Tony was starting to lose himself in the act, no longer trying to keep himself composed. Gaining confidence, Steve shifted from gently rocking himself into Tony to rolling his hips in a sensuous grind. A low growl escaped Tony’s throat and Steve wistfully wondered if he was even aware he’d done it.
“Hey, babe?” Tony asked, his voice small. Steve stopped what he was doing and immediately started to pull out. He was hurting Tony. He knew he would. Fuck, this was stupid. “No, stop, what are you doing?”
“I’m hurting you.”
“I didn’t say that. Don’t assume shit. You know I hate when you do that. I was just gonna ask for you to use a little more lube.”
“Because I’m hurting you?”
Tony awkwardly tried to get himself into a position where he could whisper in Steve’s ear. “Because I like it sloppy, and I wanna hear your cock going in and out of me.” Tony’s words, spoken with a husky whisper directly into his ear, sent a shiver down Steve’s spine. He couldn’t move. He couldn’t think. “You okay, big guy?”
“Peachy,” Steve choked out. The lube had been discarded towards the foot of the bed. Steve tried to think of a way he could reach it while not having to pull out of Tony, but it didn’t seem like that was an option. Without another word, he sat back as quickly as he could, not wanting to spend any more time discussing this. The more talking, the less fucking, and Steve was not okay with that. Talking to Tony was always wonderful (if not infuriating) but there was a time and place and this was not it.
The shuffled around a bit, deciding on working with missionary for the time being. Steve covered his cock in as much lube as he could, and squirted even more into Tony’s ass.
“Cold,” Tony grumbled.
“I’ll warm you up if you’re ready.”
Tony nodded and, without further ado, Steve slid into Tony in one easy stroke until he was once again balls deep in Tony’s ass. The lube was oozing out of Tony’s hole as Steve pressed in, a delicious, pornographic squelching sound all there was to be heard. Yeah, Tony had been right. This extra-lube thing was a brilliant idea.
Another thing Steve wished they’d done sooner in their relationship.
Though probably not with intense regularity because Steve was an out of work artist and Tony was a pizza delivery man and lube wasn’t cheap.
But they were saving money on condoms, now, so there was that.
Even with the copious amounts of lube, Steve still felt as if he could feel every inch of the inside of Tony. Every muscle, every blood vessel, every nerve ending. He’d ask Tony if he was feeling the same way, but Steve was not currently capable of words. He was overwhelmed with pleasure, and wroght with love. This was it. There was no going back. Tony was the end of the line for him. There wasn’t going to be anyone after Tony, just like there had never been anyone before him. At least no one that mattered.
Even though his brain was currently exploding in his head, his body seemed to be keeping up a regular pace, that Tony seemed to quite enjoy (if the little mewls of pleasure were to be believed, and Steve believed them). Then, in an instant, his brain went offline. Sensation took over, he was out of his body, out of his mind. Steve couldn’t have said his own name if a gun was pointed at his head. Tony was everywhere, too much and not enough, claiming Steve’s every sense.
On impulse, he dropped himself down making his and Tony’s bodies flush against each other. Their feet tangled together and, Steve’s arms no longer being used to brace himself up, their fingers curled in each others’ hair.
There was a moment when time stood still. Their eyes locked together, touching everywhere, inhaling and exhaling the other’s breath. Steve was blindsided by his orgasm. It happened all at once while simultaneously feeling infinitesimally slow. It was everything, it was nothing.
“Fuck, I feel it,” Tony gasped. “I feel your cum in me. Holy shit.” Then, with a few furious strokes to his own cock, Tony was coming, as well.
For a few moments, they lay like that, chests heaving, trying and failing to catch their breath. Their sex up until this point was fantastic but this was on another plane of existence.
“That was phenomenal,” Tony gasped, moments, minutes, hours later, with Steve still inside of him.
“Yeah,” was the only thing Steve could manage to say. “I’m gonna pull out now. You’re gonna be a little sore.”
“This ain’t my first rodeo,” Tony joked, wincing only slightly as Steve pulled out of Tony’s over-sensitised ass. The head of his cock pulled past the rim, followed by a drizzle of cum. How had he not thought that through? What, did he think Tony’s body was going to absorb it all? Filled with overzealous wonderment, Steve reached forward and prodded gently at Tony’s swollen hole. The movement caused even more cum to trickle out and slide down Tony’s crack, pooling on the bed beneath them.
Steve stuck his finger in again, gathering more cum, before pulling it back to show Tony. “Wow,” he repeated.
“Very, very good ‘wow.’ Fantastic ‘wow.’”
“I’m leaving you.”
“No, you’re not.”
“No, I’m not.” Steve took the cum covering his hand and smeared it across Tony’s chest, mixing it with Tony’s own cum. “Beautiful,” he murmured.
“Just your sodomized boyfriend.”
Steve leaned down, his tongue darting out to lap up some of their blended cum, then thrust his body forward to kiss Tony. A guttural moan fell out between Tony’s lips, Steve capturing the sound with his own.
“I’m the artist—”
“Out of work.”
“—and I say, ‘beautiful.’”