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Loving You's a Dirty Job

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Loving you's a Dirty Job

[Girl:]
When the sky is falling and you're looking round for somewhere to hide
Did you ever call out to someone
Did you ever call out to me, I've never been gone-
I've been right here by your side
There ain't nothin' but clouds
There ain't nothin' but clouds in your eyes

Why don't you believe it when you finally found the truth
You've been drinking poison water from the fountain of youth
Why don't you stop tearing up everyone you need the most
You're so busy trying to get even
You never even try to get close

I can't explain it away
It doesn't make any sense
To know what it's like
I guess you gotta go through it
It doesn't matter baby
Loving you's a dirty job
But somebody's gotta do it

[Boy:]
There were times when we'd never fake it
There were times when we'd always make it
There were times when we'd take it to the limit
And we'd never, never, ever leave each other alone
We were flesh and blood and bone
There were times we had it all
There were times we had it all

[Both:]
There were times when we took our chances
There were times we were damn good dancers
There were times when we heard all the answers
In the beating of the drummer and the riches of the rock and the roll
I can see right through your soul
There were times we had it all
There were times we had it all

[Boy:]
If your fears could only be forgotten
We could pull all of the barriers down
Would you follow your dreams' desire
Would you follow your secret dreams and forbidden fire
Let's just peel out of this town

[Both:]
It's been nothing but dreams
It's been nothing but dreams until now

[Boy:]
You're never gonna see it

[Both:]
You got your head stuck in the sand

[Boy:]
It's the land of the free and easy Street
W
[Girl:]
It's the home of the damned

[Boy:]
You're never gonna see it

[Both:]
You better open up your eyes

[Girl:]
You're the only one who's left-

[Both:]
Who's gonna believe all your lies

[Boy:]
I can't explain it away
It doesn't make any sense

[Both:]
To know what it's like
I guess you gotta go through it
It doesn't matter baby

[Girl:]
Loving you's a dirty job
But somebody's gotta do it

 

[Girl:]
There were times when we fought like tigers
There were times we were damn good liars

[Boy:]
There were times we extinguished every fire

[Both:]
That was burning, burning, burning up each other alive
From the heavens on down to the dives
There were times we lost it all we lost it all
There were times we lost it all we lost it all

There were times when we fought like tigers
There were times we were damn good liars

 

There were times when our bodies glistened
There were times that we can't stop missing
There were times that we'd lay in bed and listen
To the pounding, pounding [Chorus] of our desperate hearts
Nothing could have torn us apart
There were times we had it all
There were times we had it all

 

Steve stormed into the Apartment, having only waited long enough after the mission to make sure that Thor would recover and to strip out of his Uniform. He wanted an explanation and he wasn’t taking no for an answer.

Loki was sitting in the window seat looking out on to the world. He was dressed in his casual Asgardian clothes, which Steve knew meant that he was putting up a wall between them again. Since they had gotten together 6 months ago, Loki had preferred to wear Earth style clothes. It certainly didn’t do anything to improve Steve’s mood.

“This has to stop, Loki. You hurt Thor today and you can’t keep fighting us like this.” Steve said, trying to stay calm.

Loki didn’t even look around but carried on staring out of the window. “I do as I please. If I choose to amuse myself by tormenting the Avengers, then I will.”

Steve walked over to the window, moving to the side so he could at least see some of Loki’s face. “You think that fighting me, my team, is entertaining? Like some sort of sport?”

“Hardly, but I must make do,” Loki replied offhand, his eyes still focused on the view outside the window.

“Look at me,” Steve growled, “We’ve been together for six months, show me the decency of looking me in the eye.”

 

There was a moment’s hesitation, but slowly, Loki turned his head towards Steve, their eyes meeting.

“Why are you doing this, Loki? Why are you making it hard for us by trying to hurt those around me?” Steve asked, trying to calm down a little. He knew that shouting would only drive Loki behind his defences.

Again, Loki hesitated, before he looked back to the window. “Maybe I have grown tired of our sordid affair. You could not expect me to be satisfied with a mortal, even a prize specimen such as yourself, for long.”

The words stabbed at Steve’s heart like daggers, but he knew that something wasn’t right. Loki was holding himself very stiffly, unnaturally so. All his experience with the god told him that he was hiding something and all it did was drive Steve harder to find out the truth.

“You seemed perfectly satisfied when we were together the other night. Your feelings can’t have changed that quickly.” Steve replied carefully.

Loki faced Steve again. “Sentiments. Why do you humans put such store in them? They are a weakness to be exploited, nothing more.”

 

Without warning, he rose from the seat and made to leave the room, but Steve’s arm shot out to catch his hand. Loki looked down to the hand, but even though he could shake it off easily, he glared at Steve instead.

“Remove your hand, Captain.” Loki snapped.

“Make me.” Steve shot back. “You were happy to hurt me this afternoon, a few hours later won’t make any difference.”

“Captain…..”

“You can’t do it. If I mean nothing to you as you claim, then what does hurting me matter.”

Loki looked a little uncomfortable at Steve’s words. “I never said you mean nothing to me, but you read more into our liaisons then there is. They were a distraction nothing more. Surely they meant nothing more than that to you either.”

Steve let go of Loki’s hand but only so he could move in front of him, to make sure he couldn’t leave. “No, I don’t buy it. You say these things as if your trying to convince yourself. Good luck with that, because you’re the only one left who’s going to believe all your lies.”

Loki laughed bitterly. “Which lies, Captain? There have been so many to choose from.”

“Stop with the Captain. Here I’m Steve and I won’t go backwards. And the lie I’m talking about is that you don’t have feelings for me. Please, Loki, stop pushing me away.”

Steve’s anger had mellowed a little and by now he was only concerned with sorting out his relationship with the god once and for all.

Something about Steve’s plea broke through Loki feigned indifference. He turned his back on Steve and began stalking around the room.

“So I should simply wait patiently for you to push me into the shadows instead. For you to treat me as so many before you have! I would rather end this on my terms rather than yours, Captain.”

Steve felt his frustration rise again. “I am not your brother. Why don’t you believe me, when you’ve finally found the truth? You can trust me, Loki.”

“I trusted him. A thousand years, I lived in Thor’s shadow, belittled by his friends, aided him, although he’d never acknowledge it. But when I truly needed him....., when I fell, he didn’t even try to find me it the void. He let me go.” Loki replied as he faced Steve again.

Steve took a step closer. “So your answer is to hurt anyone within reach. Why don’t you stop tearing up everyone you need the most? You’re so busy trying to get even, you never even try to get close. Not to Thor, not to me! Well, I’m not letting you go.”

Loki turned away again, avoiding Steve’s gaze, telling him he was right. He closed the gap between them and Loki didn’t resist when Steve wrapped his arm around his shoulders. “I will never truly understand what you’ve gone through, Loki. Your life on Asgard, finding out the truth, the Void, the creatures that hurt you. To know what it's like, I guess you gotta go through it. It doesn't matter, because no matter what, I love you. And when I look in your eyes, I can see right to your soul. You love me and there is nothing you can say or do which will ever make me think that you don’t.”

Loki didn’t fight much this time. He even leaned into Steve slightly, his defences weakening. “How can I trust that your words come from your heart? You are not the only one who has heard lies in their lifetime, Steve.”

Steve knew he was getting through to him as Loki was once more using his given name. “Love, if your fears could only be forgotten, we could pull all of the barriers down. I’m here for the long haul, taking each day as it comes. I’m not going anywhere, and I will fight every day to make sure you know it.”

Loki turned into Steve and once more met his eye. He didn’t need to say anything, the look in his eyes that, at least for now, Loki believed him and was letting him in once more. Leaning forward, he kissed his lover, feeling a hand move to the back of his neck to hold him close.

They refused to break the kiss until the need for air was greater than the need for contact. Loki dropped his head to Steve’s shoulder, and if possible, pulled him even closer to him.

“I won’t leave Loki, I swear. Just stop hurting everybody around me. Don’t make me choose.”

Steve was sure that the noise Loki made was an affirmative. He knew that this was going to be the best he could expect from Loki. The god rarely committed himself to anything, always leaving himself a get out clause in everything he does in his life. Steve also knew that even if he wasn’t going out of his way to hurt the other Avengers, they would still have to put up with Loki’s pranks, a fact that Steve deemed a small price to pay to have the god in his arms at the end of it.

Steve sighed contently. “Loki, loving you’s a dirty job, but I’ll be damned if I’m letting anyone else do it.”