Doppo seemed hopeless at times. Despite multiple meetings with him, he continued to show the same symptoms and problems. Of course he did, Jinguji was by no means a therapist, despite Doppo’s tendency to treat him like one. But he couldn’t bear to leave him alone, so he continued to try to help him in his own ways. Today’s meeting seemed to reach Doppo’s limit as he exclaimed that he was a hopeless cause and that he just wanted to be cured once and for all. After a bit of self-deprecation, he grew quieter, mumbling to himself how horrible he was.
“Doppo-kun, I hope you realize that I’m not that kind of doctor.” Jinguji said and Doppo looked down. “The most I could possibly do would be to prescribe you something for your insomnia.”
He looked up. “Prescribe it to me!” he said desperately, eyes wide.
Jinguji shook his head. “Your problem is not the insomnia, it’s causing the insomnia. You need professional help. I’m not a therapist.”
“You are the professional help!” He exclaimed, then became silent. After a few seconds, he continued quitely, “I just want to be able to eat and sleep. I can’t rest or relax and it just keeps getting worse. It’s all my fault, I’m awful. I shouldn’t have came here. I’m just wasting your time. I’ll leave you alone, I’m just awful.”
He went to leave and Jinguji stopped him. “I’ll do one thing for you. But after that, you need to seek a therapist. I can only help you so much.”
“Thank you so much, Sensei!” He said, the happiest Jinguji had seen him in some time.
“I’ll be at your apartment when I get off. It shouldn’t be more than an hour from now. Make sure you’re ready for me.” He ordered, letting go of him. Doppo looked slightly confused, but nodded and left without a word.
Doppo opened the door shyly for Jinguji, who came in immediately. He wasn’t sure what exactly he was going to do but felt that he might as well try whatever he wants. He’d tried to clean up a bit for him- it was hard to clean when you were thinking about everything all the time- but he felt nervous that it wasn’t good enough. Despite being somewhat hopeful about what was to come, he also felt quite anxious.
“Doppo-kun, are you anxious right now? You look scared.” Jinguji said. Doppo’s shoulders felt tense, not that that was unusual. He simply nodded. “You need to relax a lot.”
That sentence did not make him relax any more. “What are you going to do?” he asked, his voice only slightly shaky.
“I was thinking about how you’re anxious and restless. Have you ever tried hypnosis?” he asked calmly. Doppo was skeptical to say the least. He didn’t think that was something a legitimate doctor would suggest, but considering Jinguji had a Hypnosis Microphone… Hypnosis Microphones don’t work that way, but if he’s willing to try it, then he probably should be, too.
He shook his head. “No, I haven’t, but I’m willing to try it, if it’ll help somehow.” Exactly how, he wasn’t sure, but being hypnotized by Jinguji’s voice sounded somewhat soothing.
“Good.” He replied smoothly. “You can sit. Or lay down if you prefer.” Doppo felt a shiver down his spine, hearing him say things like that. He walked to his bed and laid down on it, Jinguji sitting near him in a chair, legs crossed, looking down at him. He’d be lying to himself if he said he disliked the view, but that’s not why he was here. “You should take your tie off.” He did so. “Make sure your shirt’s not too tight around your neck. You need to be as comfortable as possible.”
Being comfortable isn’t a thing I can do , Doppo thought, but said nothing. He did as he was told, regardless.
“The goal of this isn’t to cure your anxiety or depression. It may, if it works, provide you temporary relief. Hypnosis isn’t brainwashing, so if you don’t want me to do this, it won’t work. Are you willing?”
“Yes,” Doppo choked out, looking at him nervously. He was surely willing to do anything that would give him even ‘temporary relief’. Though, if it didn’t work, it would definitely be disappointing.
Jinguji grinned, “Good.” he said again. Doppo really liked hearing it, for sure. “Now, I need you to relax. Close your eyes. I want you to breathe deeply” Doppo did so, and he felt Jinguji’s leisurely-spoken words sinking slowly into his brain. His voice was deep and the way he spoke relaxed him on its own. “You are going to relax your entire body. Start by relaxing your feet. Let all of the pressure in those muscles leave, making you feel calm there” He tried to do so, but he didn’t feel any difference in his feet. Jinguji walked him through the relaxation of his entire body, even in his head and face. Each part of his body was easier to relax than the last. When it was all done, he felt somewhat limp but was overall calm and relaxed, compared to before. He still felt pretty much the same, but it was like Jinguji had placed some kind of blanket on him. There was a kind of weight on his body that made him feel warm, but not in a weird or bad way at all. He found himself focusing on Jinguji, his beautiful voice and its rhythm downing out all others sounds, like his clock and the cars outside.
“Now that your body is relaxed, continue to breathe in and out slowly. In… Out… In… Yes, like that.” Doppo breathed in and out to the rhythm set by Jinguji. “Allow your brain to find solace and calm from your negative thoughts. Let all thoughts leave your mind if you wish.” He felt himself focus on his voice and his voice only, his anxieties fading and blurring into the background. It was as though nothing mattered at all but the sound of Jinguji speaking. “Do you feel at peace currently, Doppo-kun?”
He nodded enthusiastically. He’d never felt so warm and at ease in his whole life. He didn’t feel any anxiety about his work or his boss or due dates. He couldn’t even think about those things at the moment. He just felt Jinguji. Everything was Jinguji Jyakurai and it was incredible. It was hard to speak, as he didn’t want to hear anything but Jinguji’s voice, but he managed to mumble softly “‘m warm.”
He laughed briefly. “Tonight, when you’re trying to sleep, you’re going to feel at peace like this. You’re going to feel solace tonight and not stay up with anxiety about your job. It’s going to make you feel comfortable enough to be able to sleep easily.” Doppo could easily see that happening. Why would he feel anxiety? At the moment he couldn’t even imagine it. “Doppo-kun, how are you feeling?”
“Yeah,” was all he could say. Jinguji laughed again, an amazing sound that he wanted to hear more. “Yeah…” He felt very fuzzy and satisfied, almost as if he was tipsy, which was a weird yet comfortable. He loved the feeling of nothingness that he felt when Jinguji stopped speaking.
“Can you do what I asked you to do tonight?”
“Okay, then I’m going to begin to release you from the hypnosis-”
“No… Please,” He murmured, desperately. The answer came out of him without a thought. Jinguji tsked.
“You can’t stay like this, Doppo-kun. I’m going to begin taking you out.” Doppo whined pathetically, but he continued. He took him out the same way he’d put him, but in reverse, taking him out from his head down. He felt the pressure slowly fade from him and he was back into the world again. Same feelings as before, same tension in his shoulders, same shitty life. “When you open your eyes, you’re going to be completely back to the state you were before I hypnotized you.”
By the time he opened his eyes, Jinguji was already standing to leave. Doppo felt so shitty in comparison to how he’d felt when he was under. Was it even possible to be more depressed than he was before? He felt like it might be that way. Now that he knew he could be somewhat at peace, he wanted to feel it all the time. Jinguji’s voice lulling him into that state wasn’t a negative, either. Doppo sat up gently, realizing that he was already about to leave.
“How was it?” Jinguji asked, professionally.
Doppo couldn’t lie. “It was the best I’ve felt in a long time,” he muttered. He was a bit embarrassed about how he’d acted, but not as embarrassed as he should’ve been. He was also incredibly hard, but that was neither here nor there.
“I’m glad. Have a good night, Doppo-kun.” He said swiftly and left. Doppo was left reeling, feeling as though he’d just been abandoned. The whole session had been long enough, but he felt like he was wanting more. He wanted more than an hour. He wanted to feel like that all time. To be completely under the control of his hypnosis and not feel anything else in his life but his voice. It was an addicting feeling, to say the least. He jacked off quickly and shamefully to the memory of the freeness and warmth he’d felt. His skin crawled thinking about being under again, completely at the mercy of Jinguji and it was a satisfying thought. He knew that he’d said he’d only do this once, but Doppo couldn’t imagine any therapy making him feel that peaceful. He came, disgusted, in his own hands, already making plans to meet up with him tomorrow after work.