"Wait! Wait, pull over!" Jamie cries, hand gripping his round stomach as he sprawls across the backseat of the car.
"Again? Seriously?" Louis sighs, "this is like the fifth time this hour!"
John just sighs from the driver’s seat as the car starts to slow and veer off the road.
"Look, I can't help it if the car is making me nauseous and the baby keeps kicking my bladder okay! Just pull over already!” Jamie cries a little more frantically this time.
The car pulls off the country highway onto the dirt and rolls to a stop as Jamie stumbles out of the backseat to go throw up or pee or whatever it is he needs to do this time. John and Louis sit in the front seat waiting for Jamie to finish up and climb back into the car. It takes him a few tries to get seated with his belly making it difficult to squeeze into the car, but he finally gets settled and buckles himself in.
"Can we keep going, or do you need to stop again?" Louis teases from the front passenger seat, leaning around to grin cheekily at Jamie.
"Ha ha. I’m fine keep driving" he pouts.
The car starts, and they pull back onto the highway. There's no one else on the road right now as the sun sets over the dusty horizon, so the drive is quiet and without interruption. The car keeps driving down the high way to the sound of a CD that's been on repeat for too long and the small talk of a road trip that comes and goes quickly.
The three of them have been on the road for hours now, aiming to get through the country and back into civilization before the sun completely set, but with the near constant stops they'd been slowed down considerably. It wouldn’t be until well into the night that they would reach their destination now.
The car kept going for maybe twenty more minutes down the road before there was a concerning choking sound from the engine follow by a puff of grey smoke.
"Oh crap" John groaned, feeling the engine start to choke and putter out as he tried to steer them off the road to park.
"What the hell was that?" Louis asks in annoyance, they'd already had enough trouble with this supposed road trip.
"The engine, dummy, that should be obvious" John grumbles back.
"Yeah well I don't think it's supposed to do that!" Jamie groans from the back seat, sounding more strained than one would expect from a stalled engine.
"Could just have overheated, let me check" John says while unbuckling his seat belt and popping the hood of the old car.
"Yeah, well maybe if your car wasn't such a piece of shit!" Louis calls to John as he climbs out of the car, receiving a friendly fingered gesture in return.
"Just our luck, huh? We're still ages away from the next town too" Louis sighs, leaning over his chair to look at Jamie curled up on the backseat.
"Mmhmm" Jamie hums, face looking scrunched up like he's either thinking about something really hard or something hurts really bad. After a few seconds he relaxes again, letting out a small sigh.
"... What the hell was that?" Louis asks, staring at Jamie in confusion.
"Wha? Oh, it's my stomach, it just hurts" he sighs again, shuffling uncomfortably in the back seat and letting his hands rest on his round belly.
"Strong kicks again? Need me to tell the brat off?" Louis teases, ready to lean over to press his face into the bump and say mildly threatening things to the unborn baby if that's what it will take to make Jamie relax.
"Nah, they feel different to kicks, like it just really hurts every so often. It's probably nothing."
"Hurts like how? Like cramps?"
"Yeah, I guess?" he says, face scrunching up tightly again as his hand fists into the fabric of his shirt and he groans under his breath. "ow" he says when the pain eases up again.
"... How long has this been happening?"
"Uhh I dunno, when did we pass that rock that looked like a funny hat?"
"Like 3 hours ago? Wait, that long? Dude, why didn't you say anything!" Louis yells, angry and panicked that his friend is stupider then he realized.
"B-because you were already complaining about me needing to stop constantly! And everything always hurts when you're stuck in a tiny car this pregnant!"
"Goddammit Jamie! You've probably been having contractions this whole time and now the cars stuffed! You better hope Josh can fix it."
The door opens with a click and Josh slides back into the driver seat, wiping his hands on his jeans. Louis and Jamie look at him expectantly.
"Well I can't fix it, we're gunna have to see if we can get a mechanic or a tow truck out to get us moving again, got enough snacks to survive there Jamie?" Josh smiles, but his brow furrows when he's met with only fearful looks from his friends. "What?"
"Jamie's in labour."
"You know that wasn't funny the first time you two tried it and it's not funny now" Josh says crossing his arms, in fact it was completely terrifying the first time they pranked him like that, he'd hoped they'd learned the lesson by now.
"No, I'm serious this time, he's been having contractions for like 3 hours and just didn't think it was necessary to tell us!" Louis bites out the last part, turning around to frown angrily at Jamie who cowers back further into the corner.
"Oh, fuck!" Josh says smacking his head against the steering wheel, "Jamie! Why didn't you say anything!?"
"I'm sorry! I didn't think I was actually going into labour! They might not even be real contractions, I'm still not due for two more weeks! The doctor said it's normal to have false contractions!"
"Jamie, false contractions shouldn't last 3 hours!! C’mon!"
"OK, well now we need an ambulance more than we do a mechanic" Josh groans, pulling his phone out of his pocket, "-and there's no reception. Of course, there isn't."
"Fucking perfect, so we're stuck, and we can't get help. Now what?" Louis says, masking the nervousness in his voice with annoyance as he usually does.
"Ahh! Ohh" Jamie moans, leaning into the worn backseat as his hands grip at his stomach, "shit, this hurts..."
"It's alright, jam, we're here" Josh says, reaching over to place a supportive hand over Jamie's and give it a gentle squeeze. "We'll figure this out somehow."
"We might be okay if you can hold on long enough, I'm sure a car will come by eventually and they can give us a lift."
"Yeah, we might be okay as long as the brat stays put" Louis sighs, rubbing a tense hand over his forehead.
Then, as if on que Jamie folds over with a hiss as a damp patch grows on his pants. He blinks, dumbfounded at the sudden release from inside him and looks helplessly towards the two men in the front seat.
"Oh, you're kidding!" Louis yells, still somehow managing to be more annoyed than concerned at the whole series of events.
"I blame you for that" Jamie says, frowning at Louis as he grips his stomach tighter.
"Me? How is it my fault your water broke!?" Louis yells.
"I don't know, and I don't care, but it is!" Jamie yells back, face scrunching up tighter with each word until he's tugging on Josh's hand and groaning as a new pain rocks through him.
"Wait, didn't you two go to a birthing class? Shouldn't you know what to do?" Louis questions them with a look.
"OK that class was mostly about how to breathe and pain manage, and it didn't exactly have a segment about giving birth in a car, so I don't think it will be very helpful!" Josh cries helplessly, while Jamie nods in agreement, face still tight with pain.
"Well I'm just trying to think of something okay?!"
"Ngh! O-okay, shut up already! Someone get back here and help me!" Jamie pants through small moans and whimpers.
"I'm coming, hold on" Josh says, releasing his hand so he can climb back out of the car and slide into the backseat beside Jamie. "Alrighty, here we go."
"Ughh, hurts" Jamie sighs, "I don't wanna give birth in a car... That's so embarrassing."
"Well, not much we can do about that now. How you feeling?" Josh asks softly, taking one of Jamie's hands in his while the other cards through Jamie's cropped dirty blonde hair.
"Absolutely horrible, now help me out of these pants. They're gross."
"Can do" he nods, shuffling over so Jamie can pull his legs up onto the seat and Josh can grab the waistband to pull it down over his hips and all the way off.
Louis is fiddling with his phone in the front seat when he sighs, "there's seriously no reception? God, what century are we living in."
He turns around to only see a partially naked Jamie resting his back against the door of the car with both his feet on each of Josh's thighs, raised up and spread wide while Josh rubs at his legs reassuringly. Louis feels out of his depth already.
"M-maybe I should just wait outside, see if I can get a car to stop for us" Louis says, already turning to grab for the door.
"Are you seriously trying to run away now? Dude what the hell!" Jamie groans, face scrunched in pain as he leans into his stomach.
"I'm not running! I just don't think I'll be much help here okay?" Louis says, frowning back at Jamie's who returns the stare once the pain passes.
"The hazard lights are on and the sun's setting, there's no need for you to stand outside and wait in the dark. Just stay there and hold Jam's hand" Josh says, always being the reasonable one.
"... Fine" Louis grumbles, settling back down in his seat. He leans over the back seat to offer his hand to Jamie who grips it much harder than he expected him to.
Josh and Louis fall into silence as Jamie's face scrunches and he lets out a low moan. He tugs a Louis hand and uses Josh to support him as he rocks with the pain, trying to remember the breathing techniques he learnt.
"So... Does this mean you're having a backseat baby?" Louis says with a dumb grin that makes Josh groan and Jamie glare at him.
"Really? Now you're making jokes?" Jamie puffs face red and sweaty from strain.
"What, I'm just trying to lighten the mood!"
"Well I'm not really in the mood for jokes! Ahh!" Jamie yelps, taking long deep breathes as he waits out the pain, "they're so close now, ugh...oh God!"
"Isn't labour supposed to take hours? You can't be that close, can you?" Louis asks in both disbelief and confusion, he swears he thought it took a lot longer than this.
"F-fuck! Would you shut up, Louis!!" Jamie's shouts with a glare, squeezing his hand painfully tight as punishment. He yells out louder than he has since his contractions started and leans forward to grab at Josh's shoulder for support.
"Okay, you really have to stop talking" Josh says, eyes focused only on what's happening between Jamie's thighs.
"Oh God, what did I do this time?" Louis groans, pressing his face into the chair.
"It’s starting to crown, the babies coming" Josh says in full seriousness. His face is frowned in concentration even if his hands still rub at Jamie's thighs gently.
Louis immediately stops talking.
"Ughh, I can feel it! It’s coming out!! Ohh!" Jamie groans again, face still contorted with pain, "I think- I think I need to push!"
"If that's what you feel then do it babe, I'm here for you" Josh says, he moves his hands over to rub Jamie's rotund belly, and Jamie brings his hand up to rest on top of them.
Jamie nods back, trying for a weak smile before he squeezes his eyes shut and curls forward around his belly, groaning with effort. He can feel the baby’s head just starting to move down his birth canal, stretching him wider as he pushes. He knew giving birth was going to hurt, which is why he planned on having one in a hospital, so he could have an epidural if it got too painful, but now that he’s stuck in the middle of no where without anyone but his boyfriend and best friend to help him he knows he’s going to have to endure it.
The baby’s head is already moving down quickly, and the pain radiates through his hips as it spreads him, he tries to keep pushing through the pain but has to stop to gasp in deep breaths. It’s so big it feels like he might break in half with the effort it takes to push it out.
“Ahhhh!! Oh god, it hurts!!” he cries, scrunching his eyes shut and scrambling to grab at Josh’s wrist at pull on as he pushes.
“It’s alright, you’re doing so well, Jamie. I can see the head now, so keep pushing” Josh encourages in as calm a manner as he can.
Jamie screams loud and hard as he pushes again, feeling the baby’s head start to slide out from his body. It hurts so much his mind can’t think of anything else other than a pain that feels like it will never end rocking through his body and stretching his skin to the point of tearing. He throws his head back and cries out loudly as he stops pushing to breath.
“I- I don’t think I can do this!” he cries, face pulled into a sad grimace, “It hurts, Josh!! It hurts so bad!” he chokes out, head thrown against the door of the car and straining hard as the baby continues its slow decent through his cervix.
“You can do it, babe, you’re so close already. The baby’s right there, just a little more and it’ll be out” Josh says, he can clearly see most of the baby’s head is already out, pulling Jamie’s lips wide open around it.
“I can’t- I can’t, oh god I can’t do it!!” Jamie cries, crumpling into himself more as his body heaves with laboured breaths.
“Yes, you can, Jamie. You’re going to do it, you’re going to push out our baby, okay? I know you can do this, babe, I’m right here just hold onto me” Josh says firmly but he knows its what Jamie needs to hear right now. He needs to know he can do this, even when it hurts.
Josh is honestly impressed with how well Jamie is taking this considering how scared he had been about giving birth. They’d talked about it countless times after Jamie had gotten pregnant, knowing it was an inevitable part of the pregnancy they would have to face. Jamie was terrified of being in pain, but right now he was pushing through it, quite literally, and doing so well Josh couldn’t stop himself from feeling so proud of him even if there was still a while to go.
Jamie strains and pushes again, feeling his baby move further down. He keeps pushing hard until he feels the definite pop of its head sliding out of him. His body sags as he gasps for breath, knowing that he’s almost there now that the head is out.
“That’s it, Jamie! Good work!” Josh beams, seeing the baby’s head make its way down and out. He knew the head was often the hardest part, so that he’d made it through that was excellent progress.
Jamie bears down, expecting the baby to move a little smoother now that the head was out, but he can feel the shoulder stretching him wide all over again and the pain is becoming overwhelming. His head feels dizzy with how much it hurts and all he wants is for this to be over already.
“Ahhh! Ge- Get it out!!” He yells, hands gripping tightly onto whatever he can grab onto first, which happens to be Louis and Josh’s hands. He pulls himself forward as he continues to yell and push, feeling the girth of the shoulders slide down more. It’s not long until he feels them slide out, and then Josh is guiding the baby out, gently turning it as he pulls it’s body out and lifts it up to rest over his thigh.
There’s a terrifying second where Jamie knows the baby is out, but he can’t hear any crying and he starts to think that he’s done something terribly wrong. But then loud cries echo the small cramped car and Jamie lets out a shaky breath as relief washes over him.
“It’s a boy! He’s fine, Jamie. Just some gunk on his face, but he’s okay. Breathing and everything” Josh smiles, eyes bright as he lifts the baby in his arms for Jamie to see. He knows that Jamie was probably just as scared as he was for those few seconds where the baby didn’t cry, but after wiping the goo from his nose and mouth and giving him a few gentle pats, the baby started to cry loudly.
Jamie’s hands shoot out immediately, even in his exhaustion he can’t stop his instincts from needing to see and touch his baby. Josh grins as he leans forward so he can rest the baby in Jamie’s waiting arms, gently tucking him into the crook of his elbow and making sure he’s holding him before sitting back. Jamie’s face breaks into a huge grin when his baby is in his arms. His baby. He’s so beautiful, even covered in all sorts of gooey looking stuff, and screaming with his tiny strong lungs, he’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen.
“Oh my god, Josh” Jamie cries, voice shaking with the threat of tears already filling his eyes, “he’s so beautiful, Josh, our baby.”
“I know, you did so good. So, so good. I’m so proud of you” Josh says, leaning forward to pull Jamie’s head towards his so he can place a kiss on the top of his head.
“Help me move, I want you to see him too” Jamie says, lifting himself up as much as he can from the corner of the car.
Josh puts his arms under Jamie’s to help lift him upright before helping him shuffle until he could rest his back against Josh’s chest. Josh wraps his arms around the two of them and pulls them closer, letting his head rest against Jamie’s as he stares down at their son.
“C-congrats, you guys” Louis says from the front seat, looking sheet white and completely out of his element. “and I uh, hate to ruin the moment, but what are you gunna cut the cord with?”
As if just realizing they both look down to see the cord still attached to both the baby and Jamie, and they can’t help but laugh at their unawareness. They both had kind of forgot that Louis was there as well, so caught up in the baby. Jamie chuckles as he shifts the baby in his arms, moving so that he can hold the cord.
“There should be a pocket knife in the glove box, chuck it here, Louis” Josh says, putting his hand out to accept the knife after Louis digs it out from the front seat.
Jamie holds the cord up as Josh pulls the knife through it, tying it off at the end like he heard you were supposed to. The baby seems to not even notice, just continuing to cry and wriggle as Jamie pulls him back into his chest, holding him close. He holds him tight with one arm while he reaches the other arm down between his legs and hold the umbilical cord, pushing until the placenta slides out.
Louis blanches, flinching as he turns away, “Ew Jamie! Some warning please before you start yanking out your internal organs!”
“Fuck off, Louis, a person just came out of me” Jamie groans, snuggling back down to hold his baby and rest his weight against Josh, who seems unconcerned considering the state of his back seat right now.
“Yeah, at a really inconvenient time. I’m gunna remind that kid about this forever” Louis grins, already looking forward to teasing and playing with the kid when they’re older. He’s going to be the best fake uncle ever.
“You and me both” Jamie sighs, completely mesmerised by his son. He doesn’t want to look away from him at all, even if he knows he’ll have to sooner or later, but for right now he can spend all the time in the world staring at him. Or at least however long it takes for another car to come by and help them. Which is exactly what he does.