Work Header

Jace Herondale and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Work Text:

The day had started so well.

Maybe not too well, considering his need to establish a new bank account was directly related to Imogen’s death, but he had made his peace with it in the last few weeks. The past two years had honestly been like a dream. And although it hurt him that it was all he got to spend with his grandmother, it was more than he ever thought he would have.

That Imogen found him, embraced him as his family, that they built a strong, beautiful kinship in the past two years, and she actually chose to leave him his inheritance…

Jace sighed, trying keep it together and focus on the fact he was becoming rich was supposed to be nice instead of overthinking how much he would prefer Imogen to all that money.

Wishful thinking couldn’t cheat death.

And the inheritance would be enough for him to finally start his own business. He could ditch the waiter’s job at Taki’s and late night shifts at Hunter’s Moon when Maia “accidentally” poured people’s shots on him. He would finally have a chance to open Java Jace and change the world with his brownies.

“There you go.” Jace looked up at the bank teller who came back to the counter with a stack of printed paper. “This is the terms and conditio--”

Her words were cut short as a scream tore through the space, Jace looking over from the corner where the desk they were at was hidden to the main area and quickly realizing what was happening. He cursed under his breath and jumped over the counter, for once grateful for the hellish training his abusive not-father put him through before he got adopted.

His phone was at 2%, he wouldn’t manage to make a call but maybe...

Panic button, panic button, panic button-- There!

Jace managed to press the little hidden switch before someone yanked him by the hair and he was forcefully dragged from under the desk, throwing him on the ground in front of a row of identical shoes and trousers that must have been cashiers tied up in a row.

He felt a gun barrel press into the back of his neck as someone else, all clad in black balaclavas, twisted his hands behind his back, securing them with zip ties.

“Do not think you can try any tricks with us, boy .”

Someone hissed in his ear and a heavy boot settled firmly on his back.

Great .

At least he pressed the button. They didn’t seem to realize what he did, although they were still working fast on emptying any cash register and safe in the line of view. Amateurs. That kind of robbery wouldn’t get them enough money to buy a car, let alone make the jail time worth it after they had to share it between each other.

A police siren sounded behind the door.

“What the fuck, Victor!?”

“I don’t know! I took all their phones, someone must have called the cops! Hurry up with it!”

Victor. Jace mentally noted down the name, and the fact it was a female voice that shouted it, as suddenly he was forcefully dragged to his feet, the gun barrel finding its way to his chin. He swallowed, eyes trained on the door, praying the police was faster.

“Are you done there?”

Silence. He knew his captor was waiting for the answer to be able to run to the backdoor while watching the main entrance like a hawk.


Kealie. There’s the woman’s name. Amateurs. Amateurs, but with guns.


“Police, don’t move”

“Sorry, Vicky!”

Too many things happened all at once as the police stormed inside and Kealie rushed out into the car, not one to worry about her partner once she had money in hand. Victor realized his position, so in a desperate attempt to save himself, he held Jace tighter, finger on a trigger as the gun bit harder into Jace’s skin.

“Don’t move or I’ll shoot his head off!”

Jace closed his eyes, trying to calm his breathing. There was a cop in front of them, a young, pretty latino, with his own gun trained on Jace’s captor, Jace positioned unfortunately on the way of the bullet, acting as a human shield.

“You will allow me to back out there and disappear or I will shoot his head off.”

Taking a deep breath, Jace tried to think. Angel, the guy was an idiot. He didn’t even have a car, how did he plan to get out of this shit? Jace just prayed he wouldn’t have the guts to kill a person with that tiny brain of his.

He looked at the handsome cop and tried to communicate with his his.

It’s okay. Just shoot.

The guy seemed to understand. Jace closed his eyes, noticing just before that as the cop’s gun moved lower and then a shot rang, Jace’s leg feeling on fire as the bullet tore through it but there was a scream from behind him too and the gun disappeared from his chin.

At least he was alive if the pain was anything to go by, he thought, tears streaming down his face.

“Hey. Hey, it’s alright. Come on. It’s just a graze. I know how to aim. I’m sorry I shot you. We had Interpol and FBI on this guy for a few years now, we couldn’t risk him running. His gun wasn’t armed though, for the record. We hadn’t known that before, unfortunately.”

Jace tried to focus on his words, feeling a mixture of pissed and morbidly amused, as the guy grabbed him bridal style and carried him out of the bank and to the ambulance. He could see weird black spots dancing across his vision as he tried, and failed to cling onto consciousness.

The day had started so well.


Alec would kick his ass for managing to get shot on a simple trip to the bank. He was right. He was a danger magnet.

That was, for some reason, Jace’s first thought as he woke up in the hospital bed, groaning at the dumb pain in his leg.

“You’re an idiot.”

And there it was.

“Nice to see you too, Alec.”

He pried his eyes open, managing to open one, and gave his brother something of a smile, glad to be met with more relief than annoyance.

“I can’t even blame you this time. How come danger finds you even on those rare days you aren’t being completely reckless?”

“Guess I’m just lucky.”

“Lucky is really not a word I would use. I’m glad you’re alright, you moron.”

Jace sent Alec a sheepish smile and accepted a hug before a knock on the door interrupted them.

“I’m sorry. I can come back later?”

A pretty latino stood in the door with a bouquet of white tulips and hyacinths. Jace could feel Alec’s disapproving glare in his bones.

“Alec, no.” His brother turned to look at Jace but Jace would not allow Alec to give the shovel talk to the poor guy before Jace even had a chance to learn his name. “Check out the cafeteria maybe?”

With a displeased sigh Alec listened to him, giving the guy a warning glance when he was exiting. The policeman entered, putting the flowers by Jace’s bed.

“This is a ‘I’m sorry I shot you’ bouquet. I’ve been told this combination is a popular symbol of forgiveness.”

“It’s fine. Nothing to forgive. It was the best way to go about it. Thanks for the rescue, I guess, as unconventional as it was. I’m Jace.”

“Bat.” the guy smiled, shaking Jace’s hand.


Years later, there would be white tulips and hyacinths at their wedding, despite the fact it made Izzy sneeze. Alec would tell everyone a story about Bat shooting Jace to seduce him and Jace would carry Bat over the threshold.

Bridal style.

Revenge tastes sweet.