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it feels like the first time

Chapter Text

“oh my god” alex moans into the kiss.

he is currently laying on his bed wrapped in everything that is his boyfriend elliot. nothing has ever felt better than this.

elliot quickly pulls away.

“what was that?” he chuckles.

“oh, um nothing, sorry.” alex mumbles, looking down to the floor.

he doesn’t get a response, so he glances up toward elliot again. he’s shaking his head quickly.

“alex, don’t apologize for that. ever.” he states, way more serious than he has ever seen him.

“what?” alex asks confused.

“look, that’s the first time i’ve ever heard you say anything while we were kissing. i’ve been waiting for you to be more vocal with me but I didn’t want to push you.” he says quickly, never breaking eye contact.

“oh… I didn’t think it was, like good to do that.” his cheeks blushing from the uncertainty.

“baby, why would you think that?”

alex smiles, he loves it when elliot calls him that. it makes him feel all mushy inside, like his heart is constantly growing with adoration 

he doesn’t say anything, only thinks back to his first time with claire, how she kept on telling him to “be quiet, and just do it.” I guess he just thought that’s what everyone wanted. his eyes grow sadder and elliot notices, and probably catches on to what he was picturing.

 “alex… i’m not her okay? I love hearing you moan and have this really cute flustered look on your face, in fact it turns me on, um a lot.” he states.

 alex is shocked. he can’t believe what he’s hearing. all he can do is lunge forward and connect their lips again. this time he feels different, like he wants more than just kissing. he wants to touch elliot and feel him and to hear exactly what he wants and know what he likes and to be his, all his.

 elliot slips his tongue between alex’s lips bites lightly on his bottom lip, and that’s all it takes. alex lets go. he doesn’t care if he moans or talks or moves his hands in places they haven’t been before.

 “i need more.” he half moans, muffled because of elliot’s mouth still on his. but he heard him. and disconnects them again, he shifts his legs and that’s when alex realizes. elliot is fully hard against his leg, and within seconds of realizing alex is too.

 elliot stares up at him.

 “alex, you know we don’t have to do anything you’re not ready for right?” he questions.

 the other boy just smiles.

 “I know, but i’m ready, for more, maybe not all the way ready but I want to touch you… please.”

 and there’s honestly no way elliot could say no. he’s harder then he’s been in a long time and the thought that he would be alex’s first experience with another man has his head spinning.

 he thinks quickly of what to say, suddenly he’s unsure of what to do next, like it’s his first time all over again.

 in an instant, alex reaches out to him and starts unbuttoning his black jeans. elliot is shocked from his confidence but also grateful because he thinks he may have forgotten what order to do this all in.

 once he begins pulling his jeans down, elliot groans, it’s taking every single fiber of his being to not yank off his boxers and rub his aching cock.

 as alex pulls off his jeans he suddenly stills. either reality finally set in or he’s shocked at the large tent he sees in the thin fabric of his boyfriends boxers.

 elliot reaches out and brushes his thumb over the other boys wrists. “just touch me like you touch yourself yeah?”


Chapter Text

alex slowly reaches out to grab hold of his boyfriends aching length, very unsure even with the reassuring words from elliot replaying constantly in his mind.

elliot must catch on because a second later he’s bringing his hand to alex’s and guiding him to exactly where he wants him, where he needs him.

he puts his hand around alex’s and slides it slowly up and down his cock, he wants to go faster but he knows if he does he’ll be coming in about three seconds and he would like to draw this out a little bit longer than that.

“just like that.” elliot mumbles. alex must hear him clearly enough to gain a few more levels of confidence because now he’s taken elliot in his hand by himself, repeating the actions from seconds before.

“you’re doing so good baby, so good, fuck.” this time it’s more of a growl noise that alex has never heard from his boyfriend and let’s just say he wouldn’t mind at all if he heard more of it.

alex continues and quickly finds the rhythm he was hoping he would, he moves his empty hand from resting on the bed to gently cup elliot’s balls. he’s rewarded with a loud moan from the other boy.

“keep going, yeah.” elliot is panting now, and alex thinks it may be the hottest thing he’s ever seen in his life. beads of sweat running down his forehead, and now he’s staring right into alex’s eyes, his curls usually very prominent are now stuck to the side of his face from the moisture, how did alex get so lucky? he moves his thumb, gliding over the tip of his cock, smearing the bit of precome that was leaking out.

elliot is now a big mixture of moaning and profanity. alex sees his chest beginning to tense, and thinks that he’s close, so he speeds up his hand, alternating between sliding up and down and rubbing the tip, using every single ounce of knowledge he’d ever acquired from the hours of gay porn he’d watched.

he doesn’t really think but it just slips out, “come for me.”

and that’s all it took, soon elliot is coming all over his hand, white spurts are streaked up his chest and alex is sure this may be the happiest he’s ever been in his whole life. he just made his boyfriend, his experienced, sexy boyfriend, come in a matter of minutes, and he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t a little bit proud on the inside, all his feelings of not measuring up disappearing from his mind completely.

elliot is still laying on the bed, but now he’s got the biggest grin on his face. like he’s in awe of everything that just occurred between the two of them.

“was it okay?” alex questions, breaking the silence.

elliot laughs and brings their faces together, noses brushing, and alex can see he’s still breathing hard, coming down from the high.

“you are amazing, that was unbelievable.” he states with a light chuckle.

alex smiles, and elliot swears he sees a glimpse of heaven in his eyes. they sit for a while, wrapped in each other. but alex gets up suddenly to get a kleenex from the desk across the room, he begins wiping his hands and soon works his way back to his boyfriends toned chest, slowly using the tissue to clean him up the best he can. elliot chuckles again, “alex.”

“hmmm?” the boy replies, having a little bit too much fun and forgetting the whole purpose of wiping him off.

“i love you.”

elliot hasn’t said that for a very long time, to anyone. but he’s not scared to say it in this moment, and he isn’t looking for the same words in response. he simply wants to say what he feels and let his boyfriend know that he’s important and loved.

alex quickly stills his hand and looks up at him.