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i let the season change my mind

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After checking the Grease cast list, Sam asked Blaine if they could hang out at his house; Blaine's still confused as to why Sam’s even friends with him after what he did, but he's not about to lose another relationship by saying no. So he lets Sam in the mostly empty house and leads him up to his room, glad that the other boy has already been here so he doesn't have to deal with the ‘wow your house is so big’s or the ‘why aren't your parents home’s. Sam goes straight to his mini fridge as always, not questioning why it's hidden in his closet, and grabs himself some leftover adobo before passing the sinangag over to him, which he digs into readily as Sam steals a couple forkfuls to go with his meat.

Around a mouthful of chicken Sam says, “So this is that lack of appetite thing you mentioned, right? Why you're just eating fried rice?” Blaine almost chokes on his own food at the randomly invasive question, though with Sam he really should learn to expect bluntness.

“Uh, yeah, I guess? But I also have to leave food for you,” he jokes weakly, hoping it's enough for Sam to drop it and get to whatever movie he wants to over-analyze today.

It of course has the opposite effect, Sam looking concerned and holding the container in front of him, “Dude, I'm the only one of us who's had two full meals today, take it.”

Blaine pushes the container back to him, “It's fine Sam, I'm really just not that hungry, and you love my mom's adobo.”

“Not as much as I love my friends not passing out from low blood sugar; c’mon, it's been less than a week since the break up and you already look like you've dropped a few pounds.”

“Maybe I needed to lose a few, drop it Sam.” Blaine snaps defensively.

“Woah man, chill out, I'm not like, attacking you I'm just worried,” Sam raises his free hand placatingly and puts the container back in his lap, “I really think you should take care of yourself better-”

“I said no!” Blaine yells, instantly regretting it. Ever since that night his emotions have been completely out of control; hell, he cried while performing for Kurt, making him concerned when the last thing he deserved was his sympathy. Now, in a situation where he'd normally just playfully shove Sam off, his pulse is racing. The thought of being forced to eat has him breathing quickly, his brain running through all the ways Sam could overpower him, he knows Sam is stronger than him, if he wanted to he could-

“-aine? Buddy, you're kinda scaring me. I promise I'm not gonna like force you to eat, but you gotta breathe? Crap, can you even hear me?”

Oh. He's having a panic attack, or just coming out of one. He'd had a couple after the Sadie Hawking's dance but they'd petered out once he transferred to Dalton, and by the time he went to prom with Kurt there was only some residual anxiety. He pulls up what he remembers of his breathing exercises and tries to ignore Sam freaking out.

Sam can tell he seems to be calming down and backs off a bit, a million different explanations for what could be going wrong running through his head. Admittedly he doubts Blaine is having a psychic vision, but he's not throwing the possibility away just yet. In about a minute Blaine's breathing is almost back to normal, as if he hadn't just spent the past five minutes hyperventilating and unresponsive.

“Ha… Sorry, about that,” Blaine huffs out eventually, which is all the go-ahead Sam needs to wrap him up in a Sam Evans Bear Hug. Now Sam may not be the most observant, but he definitely notices the flinch before Blaine relaxes into his hold, because normally Blaine is one of the few friends that's more than down for his overly physical affection. He notices, and put together with the rest of his What's Wrong With Blaine list, a significantly less awesome explanation than latent psionic powers is becoming more and more likely.

As soon as Sam lets go, Blaine turns on the TV in his room, desperate for some noise and distraction from his slip-up. He channel surfs until he lands on Die Hard , which naturally devolves into Sam making some of the worst Bruce Willis and Alan Rickman impressions know to man to the tune of Blaine laughing with tears in his eyes. And for a while, it seems as if it's all back to normal, as if they're just Blam vs. The World; as if they don't both know that something is wrong. Blaine tries his best to let himself enjoy it, even as his mind screams that he doesn't deserve it, that after what he did he doesn't deserve any happiness.

All too soon, the credits start to roll and both teens are brought back to reality. Grabbing the remote, Blaine starts flicking through the channels again in the vain hope that if he finds something equally distracting Sam will be forced to forget.

Blaine, of course, has never been that lucky, and Sam takes the lull to ask the exactly the sort of question he was hoping to avoid, “What exactly happened with you and Eli?”

Again, Blaine gets the urge to snap, but he pushes it down. This is Sam; after Kurt, his best friend (and when that happened, he doesn't really know: one minute they were fighting over dance moves, the next minute Blaine had his first new friend at McKinley). So he sighs, “We had sex, Sam. I cheated.”

Sam blushes, and Blaine briefly entertains that maybe embarrassment will stop the awkward conversation before the blond keeps going, “I know that. I meant like, how’d you meet him?”

At this Blaine paused, briefly taken aback. “Oh. He posted on my Facebook wall, complimenting me and asking to meet up. I was… lonely, and I wanted someone to listen to me. I met him, talked and cried, drank some beer,” he snorts sarcastically, “a lot of beer. Then… one thing led to another, I guess.”

“So he knew you were dating Kurt?” Somehow Sam is managing to only ask questions Blaine is completely unprepared for. He'd been expecting Sam to ask for an awkward play-by-play, or ask him why he did it. Not this.

“I mean, yeah?” he drags his hands over his face before huffing out a laugh, “God, I talked about him for hours; I cried at one point. I cried… after, too.” Blaine chances a look over at Sam and sees more concern and questioning rising in his face, and he shuts himself off, “I'm tired, Sam; it happened, it's over, and now I just wanna spend time with my best bud.” He nudges Sam's shoulder with a smile and it seems to have the desired effect of ending the conversation in favor meaningless teenage fun.

They give up on re-runs and switch to Netflix, quickly settling on the John Mulaney special Sam's been raving about and quoting non-stop for the past month, and Blaine tries to forget the conversation ever happened. Sam does not.