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Stash Regrets

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The stash regarded the newcomer with some suspicion.

“What was she thinking?” asked Cascade 220. “She never buys novelty yarn.”

“We were there!” burst in Noro Kureyon. “She said ‘oh this looks like mithril’ and put them on the counter with the rest of us. They have been discontinued, and were on the clearance table.”

Cascade 220 studied the newcomer’s labels. “Can anyone read this? Looks like German to me.”

“Wir sind Schweizen, nicht Deutschen,” corrected Lang Yarns Amalfi.

Cascade 220 sighed. “Someone jump over to the Fingering Weight bin and find the Schoppel Wolle Zauberball. We need a translator.”

 


 

“Wir sind Bandgarne. Sie kann einen schönen Pullover mit uns stricken,” Lang Yarns Amalfi explained to Schoppel Wolle Zauberball.

“They’re a ribbon yarn, and they would make a lovely sweater,” Schoppel Wolle Zauberball relayed.

“You’ll never make a sweater, there’s only 180 meters of you,” Cascade 220 said, exasperated. “You’ll probably end up as a shopping bag, or a hat…”

Madelinetosh Pashmina cut in. “We wouldn’t wear a hat made from that.”

“Look, we can’t all be $35 merino/silk/cashmere blends!” barked Cascade 220. “And you’re a sport weight yarn; how did you get in the Worsted Weight bin?”

 


 

“Sie wählte uns aus!” Lang Yarns Amalfi cried with delight, waving goodbye to the other balls and skeins. “Sie strickt ein Umhängetuch.”

“Did anyone happen to get a look at the pattern?” Cascade 220 asked.

“We saw it,” said Noro Kureyon. “It was 198 yds. of Heaven.”

“That’s not a shawl, that’s a kerchief. They should have said Kopftuch, not Umhängetuch,” Schoppel Wolle Zauberball pointed out.

“Hmm.” Cascade 220 considered this. “Isn’t that all yarn overs and decreases? Hard to block lace when you’re a cotton/nylon blend. And how will she do a proper join with that nylon wrapping?”

 


 

“Alles ging schief!” Lang Yarns Amalfi cried. “Sie mag uns nicht.”

“Nonsense,” said Cascade 220 briskly. “Sometimes a pattern just isn’t the right fit for a yarn. There’s no shame in being frogged and returned to the bin. Tell them, Schoppel Wolle Zauberball.”

They both descended into German mutterings, and Cascade 220 turned back to Noro Kureyon. “That’s two attempts now—she didn’t like how the Age of Brass and Steam Kerchief was turning out either.”

“Three,” said Noro Kureyon quietly. “She also tried Zuzu’s Petals.”

“Well, some people are obviously meant to be shopping bags,” Madelinetosh Pashmina said resentfully.

 


 

“Banished to a stash sale!” Noro Kureyon said, shocked. “No! Couldn’t she try to find some more skeins online? Lang Yarns Amalfi particularly wanted to become a sweater.”

“No, she couldn’t find anything in the right color way,” Cascade 220 explained. “Besides, she needed six more balls, and most stash sales were for three skeins or less.”

“How much…how much is she asking?” Noro Kureyon whispered.

Cascade 220 lowered their voice even further. “$10 including shipping.”

“Ha—thrice-frogged and bargain-priced!” cackled Madelinetosh Pashmina.

“Go back to your own bin!” Cascade 220 ordered. “And we hope you felt!”