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for you.

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Ziva is having a nice dinner with the director, his wife and her father, nevermind the fact she’s pissed as hell at her abba at the moment. Everything goes well until it happens, gun shots ring out she isn’t hit, she acts on autopilot and chases the shooter. Gibbs joins her at some point and the man poisons himself, she curses and her mind finally slows. They speed back to the directors house and Tim tries to stop her from going in but she does anyway, inside she finds Tony looking sympathetic and her heart wrenches. That’s when she looks over to the table and she sees him, her father, dead. “Abba!” Tears well up, this has to be a nightmare she has to wake up soon, please let this be a nightmare. “Abba!” She cradles him in her arms and cries until she can’t anymore, it’s been hours now and they’ve transported the directors wife the the hospital, Tony stays with her but she doesn’t notice any of it, just stays there rocking her father.

Tony touches her arm and she looks up at him. “I’m so sorry.” Another tear falls and she finally lets her Abba go, only to cling onto Tony and sob into his shirt, he lets her and rubs her back to soothe her. “Stay with me tonight okay? You shouldn’t be alone.” Ziva doesn’t have it in her to fight, to fight the feelings she has for Tony so she nods. They stay there for a while before Tony lifts her bridal style and carries her out to his car, passing Ducky, Jimmy and Gibbs on the way out. She sits in the passenger seat staring out the window as they drive to Tony’s apartment, after a few minutes Tony intertwines their fingers and she squeezes his hand. Once they get to his complex he leads her to the apartment she’s been in before, a few times and he unlocks the door. “I’ll sleep on the couch.” Tony offers and Ziva shakes her head no and grabs his hand before walking to the bedroom. “Please stay.” Her voice breaks and Tony’s heart right along with it so he just nods and starts getting ready for bed. Ziva ends up in a pair of Tony’s shorts and his old college sweatshirt, Tony’s heart swells at the sight of her in his clothes. 

Once they’ve eaten and are exhausted beyond belief they lay down in the bed, Tony’s bed. Ziva uses his chest as a pillow, their legs tangled together and Tonys hand on her back and falls asleep to the sound of his heartbeat. Her dreams are tainted, all she can see is her Abba slumped against a wall with bullet holes in him and she can’t do anything about it. Ziva shakes and twitches in her sleep and that’s what wakes Tony up, he looks at her face and finds it scrunched up and scared. “Damn nightmares.” He whispers before shaking her awake, brown eyes fly open and tears streak her cheeks, they both sit up and she falls into his embrace. “My Abba.” Her voice shakes and she sobs as she clings onto Tony. “I know, I know. I’m so sorry. It’s okay, shhh, I’m right here. I’ll be here as long as you need me and then some.” He whispers into her hair and holds her, she calms down after five minutes and he miraculously gets her back to sleep running his fingers through her hair and rubbing her back. She doesn’t dream the rest of the night and wakes up around 6:45, before Tony and just looks at him. There was a time if someone told her she loved him or mistook them for a couple she’d laugh but now, well now she sees their point. Ziva David loves Anthony DiNozzo Junior, it’s a fact of life at this point but she doesn’t say anything. Even though she knows he loves her too, she says nothing and neither does he partly because of rule 12 and partly because she’s terrified. 

Ziva sighs and rubs her fingers through Tonys hair. “I’m sorry that I can’t be what you need.” She whispers and tears prick her eyes. “But you’re what I want.” Tony whispers back, giving himself away as faking sleep. “You weren’t supposed to hear that.” Ziva croaks and he opens his eyes but doesn’t move away. “But I did. I’m gonna be here however you’ll have me okay? I’ll break rule twelve for you or I’ll just be your bestfriend.”  Ziva smiles shakily and Tony brushes the hair away from her face and cups her cheek, she covers his hand with her own. “I want this, I do. Just,” She sighs and Tony smiles softly. “Not yet.” Ziva nods and kisses his cheek. “We do this when my father hasn’t just, you know.” Tony takes a shaky breath and rubs his thumb across her cheekbone. “Two months. If you still want me, we do this in two months.” Zivas heart clenches a little, she doesn’t know if either of them will even be alive then. It’s a dangerous game they play, they’ve been shot at and shot and Tony had the literal plague at one point. “I need to go to Isreal. I need to bury him.” Tony kisses her forehead. “You need to do this alone don’t you?” Ziva smiles softly and touches their foreheads together. “I do but I will come back. I will come home.”