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lunctime with adachi and dojima

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The doorbell rang just as Adachi finished getting the table ready, and he rushed to get the door. Opening it, he was greeted by his expected guest, holding a bottle of wine in his hand.

"Well Adachi, I made it. Despite your directions." Dojima sighed.

"Ah, Dojima-san, welcome! I hope you're prepared for an unforgettable luncheon." Adachi smiled nervously, ignoring Dojima's annoyed "myeh" as they walked back to the dining table. Dojima took a seat while Adachi went to see how the food was coming along.

Adachi gasped at the sight of smoke coming out of the oven. Praying it isn't what it thinks he is, he ran over to check on it, only to find his food burning.

"Oh god, my roast is ruined!" He exclaimed as he stood up, anxiously rubbing the back of his neck. From the corner of his eye, Adachi spotted the newly opened WacDolan's outside his window. He thought for a moment.

"But what if...I were to buy fast food and disguise it as my own cooking?" Adachi chuckled to himself. "Delightfully devillish, Tohru!"

He had to hurry. Adachi practically tore off his apron and threw it to the side. He opened the window and had one leg hanging out when he heard the kitchen door open behind him. Adachi turned around and saw Dojima standing in the doorway, eyes wide.

 

(instrumental)

 

Adachi with his crazy explanations, Detective Dojima's gonna need his medication

 

When he hears Adachi's lame exaggerations, there'll be trouble in town tonight!

 

"ADACHI!!!" Dojima shouted.

"Dojima-san! I-I was just- uh-" He glanced down at his leg and back up at Dojima. "-stretching my calves on the window sill! Isometric exercise, heh, care to join me?"

Dojima looked unimpressed, continuing to glare at his partner. "Why is there smoke coming out of your oven, Adachi?"

Fuck.

"Huh? OH! Tha- that isn't smoke, uh, it's steam! Steam from the steamed clams we're having. Mmmm, steamed clams." Adachi tried to convince him further by rubbing his own stomach, hoping Dojima wouldn't notice that he was sweating from anxiety.

Dojima looked doubtful, but he finally left the kitchen. Adachi let out a sigh of relief and lept out the window, running to the restaurant.

--

Minutes passed, and Adachi finally entered the dining room carrying a platter of burgers and fries. "Dojima-san, I hope you're ready for mouth-watering hamburgers!"

Dojima lifted a brow. "I thought we were having steamed clams."

Adachi chuckled. "Nooo no, I said 'steamed hams!' That's what I call hamburgers."

"You...call hamburgers 'steamed hams.'"

"Yep, it's a regional dialect!"

"Uh-huh, what region?"

Adachi tugged at his tie. "Uhhh, Shikoku?"

"Really? I know some co-workers who're from Matsuyama and I've never heard any of them say 'steamed hams,'"

"Oh, not in Matsuyama. It's a Kochi expression."

"..I see."

Dojima took a hamburger off the plate and started eating while Adachi anxiously sipped on his wine, hoping that the rest of the afternoon would go peacefully. Their lunchtime was silent for awhile, until Dojima stopped eating to inspect his burger.

"Y'know, these hamburgers are similar to the ones they have at WacDolan's."

Adachi nearly choked on his wine, covering it up with a forced laugh. "Ohoho, no, they're- patented Adachi burgers! Old family recipe!"

Dojima's eyes narrowed. "...For steamed hams?"

"Yes!"

"Mmhmm, and you call them steamed hams despite the fact-" He took the top bun off and showed the burger to Adachi. "-they're obviously grilled?"

Adachi's heart started to pound, and he frequently shifted his eyes between the kitchen door and Dojima's skeptical glare. "Y-eh, y-you know the- one thing I should-"

He gulped.

"'Scuse me for one second."

"Of course."

Adachi abruptly stood up and retreated to the kitchen, now completely on fire after he forgot about the roast. Letting out a fearful squeak, Adachi rushed back to the dining room, forcing out a yawn.

Not noticing the door hadn't completely closed.

"Well, that was wonderful! Good times had by all, I'm exhausted!"

Dojima looked at his watch. "Yeah well, I should be g-" He stood up and his eyes widened at the sight of the red glow coming from the kitchen. "-GOOD LORD, WHAT'S HAPPENING IN THERE?!"

Adachi glanced at the door. "...Aurora borealis?"

"A-Aurora borealis? At this time of year, at this time of DAY, IN THIS PART OF THE COUNTRY, LOCALIZED ENTIRELY WITHIN YOUR KITCHEN??"

"...Yes."

Dojima stared blankly. "..Can I see it?"

Adachi thought for a moment. "No."