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Urst. Unresolved sexual tension. Yep. That about sums it up in a nutshell. And baby do I got it? I got it so bad I could rub my legs together and shoot sparks. Seriously, I could be one of those doomsday prepping items. I could start fires just by touching something.


Yep that's me and that's why again, I'm sitting in an ice cold tub. Gotta cool off or melt my bits. Hell, even I'm not brave enough to touch myself, I mean, my snatch is so friggin hot my fingers would prolly just become one with my sensory nerves. Hah.. sensory nerves; meaning my skin would just melt off my fingers and all I'd have left is bones.

That's how bad it is. Soon though, soon, well at least when I cool off enough, then I can back down the beast enough so I can go out and troll for some release, of course not the release I need, but one that'll just have to do.

Just like always, almost good enough but not quite.

Of course I tried to make a break for it, but I was never quiet enough, never stealthy enough, just not enough. “Where do you think you're going?” She ground out between gritted teeth.

I turned, a bit flustered, thinking of escape. “I was just gonna head out, acclimate myself to the city.”

“Acclimate? Yeah right.” She stated, something like disdain lacing her words.

I raked my hand through my hair, my hands fidgeting. I sighed out loudly, exasperation evident in the tone of my breath.

“You're never gonna grow up are ya F?” She baited me. I looked up at her, apathy covering my face. I mean seriously, what else could I allow her to see. Apparently, she didn't like what she saw. “Always willing to play the whore and slut huh?”

I drew in a harsh breath. I was getting a bit on the peeved side. “A whore and a slut?” I questioned. “Wow, B... even for you... don't ya think that's just a bit... redundant?”

“Call it like I see it.” She spat back at me.

I laughed, cause really... what the hell, right? “Well, I'd be offended if it weren't coming from a necrophiliac.”

Yeah, that got her. She was speechless, seething but speechless.

I turned from her, calling back over my shoulder. “I'm gonna go pimp myself out... you go screw all the dead bodies ya want.... we'll see who dies first... oops... you already did.”

I could feel her eyes burning holes over my back and shoulders. She started it though.... just wasn't in my nature to take it and swallow without spitting it right back.


Okay, she F'n ruined my evening. Seriously, like I could now pick up someone to scratch my back, cause no chance in hell.... all I could think was that if I did, well then I'd make myself into what she was saying I was. I sure as hell wasn't going back either. No way... I'd just have to drain a few beers and lose myself in... what the hell is playing on the juke box... oh my friggin God.... country music.

And oh my friggin God... cowgirls! Maybe the night won't be a total bust after all. So yeah, you totally have me figured out, don't ya? So I'm all talk, well not always. I have enjoyed a few girls in my time and a few guys but no where near as many as people, well as she thinks I have. I mean, don't ya just hate to disappoint the ideals people have set up about you?

Honestly, it's been a while...not that I haven't made out with a good bit lately, just when it came time to seal the deal... well I just didn't really want to.

I can admit it to myself. I completely have the hots for miss holier than thou, miss extraordinaire, miss get over yourself already and get off my friggin back. And it's driving me absolutely nuts. And not just nuts but it's making me feel pretty bad about myself.

Hell, I can't even seem to drink my way into oblivion. I just wanna go home, well where I'm staying at the moment, take a shower and maybe have a good cry in the dark. Maybe I could even sneak in so I wouldn't have to put up with all 'her' crap.

But first, a few dances with the local cream of the crop country gals, cause who'd of ever thought that boots and mini skirts could be something I'd go for, but gotta tell it like it is, it's way hot. Hmmm those two words are bringing something else to the forefront of my brain. Maybe I could sneak in and watch a few episodes and spend some quality time to myself.

Well, now that my mind had turned me off to the local flavor, all I had left to do was hightail it back and get into the new groove.

Life can sometimes be good. I gave a last glance back at the available stash on the floor. Nope, none of them could compare to Waverly and Nic. Not one bit. I'm outta this joint!


I paced back and forth outside. There wasn't any fire escape to sneak up. So I sucked in a deep breath and walked in, making a beeline for my room.

“Awww, did nobody want to take you home?” She laughed from behind me.

I turned around facing her. “No, nobody did.” I made sure to look in her eyes. “You were right all along, nobody's ever gonna want me for anything other than what's between my legs.” I turned from her, stating. “Happy now?” I walked away and went straight up to my room, poured me a tall drink and turned on Netflix. I was now happy and complete.

The knock on the door knocked me out of my musings. I hit pause and opened the door in my skivvies. “What?” I barked out, still looking at the television screen. I turned and looked into the face of Buffy. I sighed and rolled my eyes before I stuffed a chip in my mouth, chewing loudly.

Miss priss just rolled her eyes right back and stepped inside my space, pushing the door closed behind her. She looked around my area. I know it kinda threw her for a loop. It was dark. I had a couple candles lit, for ambiance you know? Bed was turned down. I was wearing my Tomboy's. Had some alcohol, food, it was basically a candlelit dinner party for one. She looked at the TV and looked back to me.

“Wynonna Earp.” I divulged the information as if it were something sacred.

She nodded and looked at the screen again before looking back at me, her mouth making an 'ohhh' face. She was putting puzzle pieces together way too fast for my liking.

“What do ya want?” I asked, feigning nonchalance.

She stared at me and I just stared right back. I widened my eyes, as if saying 'well'.

“Uh.” She stammered.

I started pushing her back towards the entrance. I opened the door. “Yeah, well thanks for stopping by and all... but I got stuff to watch... so...” I looked at the open door and back to her... back to the door again, then back to her, this time throwing in a quick jerk of the ole head to maybe spur her into moving. She just stalled there, her mouth hanging open, so what's a girl supposed to do. Well this girl, gave her a little friendly shove out and shut the door and locked it.

I made a dash and jumped for the bed, rolling over it and snuggling back against all the cozy pillows. I wiggled getting just right and smiled as I hit play on the remote. Waverly was giving Nic a friendly little cheer. Hold it. Let me just rewind that again.

The doorknob made this strange crunching sound and I paused mid cheer and looked over at my open door, with this time an angry B standing in it. “Oh puh leeze.” I rolled my eyes, sitting up. “You've got to be kidding me.” I spat out.

I threw a pillow at her as I made myself get up. “What do you want?” I asked, squaring myself in front of her.

Again with the open mouth and nothing coming out of it. I grabbed my head and screamed, walking around my room, pacing. I turned off my TV and walked out of the room and into the hall and kept right on going through the living quarters and into the kitchen. I walked by a few of the s.i.t.s, bummed a couple of smokes and a light and walked outside, still in my undies.

I paced and smoked and stewed, my bare feet cold and tender against the sidewalk outside. Took me just a bit longer to cool off than I expected. The couple of smokes I got were long gone, so I cooled my jets by sitting on the steps and watching the freaks roll by. Let me be honest here, not like I could say too much cause hey, I'm out here in my underwear and speaking of that, I'm freezing my good bits off.

I headed back to my room and called Guinness, cause I made it there without incident, well in my head I called them. I pushed my broken door open and I froze. I blew out a breath, my mouth hanging open and I'm pretty sure my eyes just rolled back in my head, like repeatedly and got stuck.... so I closed them, cause I didn't want to have to look at her cause there she was, pretty as you please, still in my room. My room. I walked into my bathroom, closed the door and climbed into the shower, praying to God almighty that Calgon really could and would take me away. When I looked like a prune, I climbed out, dried off and donned a towel. I stood and stared at the door cause, well just because.

I breathed in and out a few times, afraid to enter my own bedroom. I sucked it up and waltzed in, looking for something fresh to wear. I grabbed my Sox faded jersey, some matching shorts and my fuzzy plaid sox socks... “Ha... sox socks.” I'm a friggin riot.

I glared at 'her', still sitting at the end of my bed. I walked just inside the bathroom and changed quickly before walking back out to face her.

She kept quiet. I rolled my eyes, jumped and fell onto my bed and squished myself into the covers. I clapped a couple times and the light went out. I sighed, turned over and closed my eyes.

She clapped and the lights came on.

I almost laughed but I'm like caught between hysteria and holy freaking hell. I clapped twice, the lights go off.

She clapped again the lights came on. I clap twice. She claps. I clap twice again. She claps again and I sit up in bed and clap twice quickly and the lights go off. She claps and I'm ready for it. The lights flash on and I bash her upside the head with a pillow.

It's on now. She grabs a pillow, I clutch mine tighter and we try to knock each others blocks off, seriously. I'm not sure how long we battle but we stop when we hear throats clear at the doorway.

Kennedy, Xander and Dawn singsong that annoying song. “Brown chicken, brown cow.” Meaning boom chicka wow wow, or whatever the hell it is.

I just nut up. “I don't even know what the hell she's doing in my room... much less my bed.... She keeps following me around and she's driving me.... INSANE!”

Silence. Everybody just freezes.

I sighed, stopped and looked at the floor. I can't do this. I just can't keep doing this.

“What?” Buffy asks.

I looked at her, my brow furrowed. “What can't you keep doing?” She asked.

“Oh.” I must've said that out loud. I sighed and shook my head. “I can't keep up all this drama. It's just too much for me and I've had it up to here.” I raised my hand above my head. I sighed again and looked around my room. I walked over, grabbed up my duffle and started shoving my stuff in it.

I can feel the gang in the doorway as they withdraw and leave us alone.

I go back to packing my stuff. Her voice cuts through the thick silence. “Do you really think I...” Her voice trails off and I know what she's referring to.

I sighed, stopped my packing and looked at her. “Are they dead?” I asked.

She stared at me. “Technically, maybe.” She admits

I shrugged. “Then technically...” I pulled some jeans on over my shorts and grabbed my boots.

I can feel her eyes on me. “Do you really think I believe you're a whore?” She asked.

I laughed and shook my head. “You and yours have thought I was trash since the first day you laid your eyes on me.” I finished clearing out the drawers and walked into the bathroom to clear it of my junk as well.

“I don't really think you are... really... it was just a way to rile you up.” She wrung her hands, nervously. “I know you've been with very few since Robin and I know the few you actually tried with let you down.” I looked up at her. “I was just miserable and I thought we should be miserable together.”

I must've looked at her like she had two heads. And then I burst out laughing.

“Truce?” She asked.

I shook my head no. “No, truth.”

She nodded and I sat down to listen. “Okay...” She was stalling for time. I decided to show some patience. “I'd been kind of looking at you lately as if you'd be a good match for me and thinking unfriendly, well not unfriendly, very friendly things actually, things that friends don't really do cause they're well... likeinterlockingbodypartthings.” She ran the words together.

“Huh?” I said looking at her.

Her face turned red and her mouth hung open a bit and she shocked me. She made a V shape with her fingers and put them in front of her mouth and I choked on my own spit. She stared at the carpet and sat there like a sap, a virginal sap.

The silence kinda ramped up. It was almost suffocating us. I blew out a breath into the quiet and wondered if I should say anything. Couldn't really think of anything and I was for the first time in my life, actually leaving a girl hanging. “Okay, truth.... it's not like I've not thought those things about you before...” I left the words hanging in the air.

I saw her smile out of my peripheral vision. She tilted her head and played with my comforter. “I'm not ready though.” She whispered. “Yet.” She added.

I sat stock still and took in all her words. I nodded, at least showing her that I did hear her. Finally, I breathed in deep and let it out slow. “I'm so ready I could probably just spontaneously combust.” Did I just say that. What the hell.

My turn to go nova now.... and I did. I could feel the blush running rampant over my face, neck and chest, and there go my ears. I smirked against the horror of it all.

She sighed. “So maybe we could dial it back a notch, not try to cut each others jugular?” Her voice hopeful. “At least until we sort through things enough to know what's what?” She hesitated before adding. “Stay.” A soft statement.

I nodded. She nodded. We both nodded.


“Oh. My. God!” Seriously, what the hell could be taking so long? I got up and paced, looking at my watch and then at the others, who were also waiting. “We're gonna be late.” I spat out.

“Oh puh lease.” She rolled her eyes as she waltzed down the stairs. “Dramatic much?” She cut her eyes at me as she adjusted her shirt. “We'll be there in plenty of time to see Bohemian Rhapsody.”

I stopped dead in my tracks. “What?” I rounded on her. “We're seeing Fallen Kingdom.” I looked at her a bit dumbfounded. “I've been waiting for this since the last one came out.... It's dinosaurs! Big ass awesome dinosaurs.” I stared at her in shock, cause really, didn't she get it?

She ignored me as she put on her coat. “Queen is an icon. It's like watching history.” She stated unemotionally.

I stared at her. “Hello, mine's got Opie's daughter in it! And Hello again, she's friggin hot!” I stepped closer. “Yours, sure the music's great but no way am I spending 40 bucks on a movie and popcorn to see some guy prance around and kiss other guys.”

She picked up her purse. “You just want to see the dino movie because you think the girl's good looking.” She stated.

“Damn straight! Not only her but that Chris Pratt is hot as well.” I looked around for confirmation but everyone looked at the ground. I put my eyes back on B. “It's a two for one in hotness.” I hesitated just a few seconds. “And they're worth my 40 bucks.”

“Nope.” She singsonged and turned to leave. The others followed her quietly.

“Really?” I couldn't believe it. “Bryce is so hot. She's got legs for days, nice little hour glass figure going on. She can go librarian or jungle babe. Her nose is straight.”

Buffy turned around quickly. “Oh no you didn't.... you're insulting my nose.” She pulled in a deep breath. “I'll have you know there's nothing wrong with my smells and does everything it's supposed to do just fine.” She stepped closer to me, her eyes boring holes. “At least I have hips.” She declared.

I laughed. “Oh yeah, you've got hips and if you ever pop out a kid... you'll really have hips... and a huge ass to boot.”

“How bout you see Bohemian Rhapsody and she see's Falling Kingdom?” Vi tried to mediate.

“No!” B and I yelled in unison.

She rolled her eyes. “Okay you big baby.” She relented. “We'll see the dinosaur drama.”

I smiled and walked along beside all of them. “Gonna get us all an Icee and a big tub of buttered popcorn.” My dimples sprang forth. “Nothing better to top off the night.”

“No butter.” Buffy stated.

“Butter is better.” I shot back.

“It's greasy.” She glared at me.

I smiled. “I don't see nothing wrong... with a little slip and slide.” I singsonged.

“Oh for fucks sake!” Kennedy voiced. “I'll get a couple tubs of popcorn, with butter and without.” She bumped us as she forced her way past us and into the theater.

I ran up to midway and grabbed a seat towards the middle so I'd be center of the big screen. I could feel B's eyes roll and she plopped down next to me with the others sitting around us. “You're gonna sit next to me?” I looked at her curiously.

“Somebody's gotta keep you in line.” She vocalized. I narrowed my eyes at her.

I shoved in a handful of butter mixed with a few bits of popcorn, crunching. I went to grab my drink and accidentally smeared some butter on her hand.

“Watch what you're doing.” She jerked her hand away and wiped the butter on her jeans.

I smiled deviously and reached out towards her. “Don't you dare.” She threatened.

I moved my greasy hand closer. “Do not touch me.”


“I'm warning you.” She said, her voice cold and calculated.

“I'm not touching you.” I kept smiling, my hand at the ready, the butter pooled and ready to drip from my fingers.

She narrowed her eyes.

“I'm not touching you.” Closer I moved.

“Do it. I dare you.” She gritted her teeth.

Well she did dare me. I slicked my fingers across her mouth and she pulled in a deep breath and stood up, knocking over her popcorn. The others got up, sighed, gathered their stuff and left us there feeling a bit contrite.

She sat back down. “What's their problem?” I shrugged and nestled back into the seat, smiling as B pulled out a bag of Twizzlers. My favorite. Our fingers touched as I took the offered treat. We smiled.

“Really? I mean... can't we just all get along?”