Sam clapped along with the rest of New Directions, as Will and Emma kissed and officially became husband and wife. Smiles adored everyone’s faces, as happy tears trail down all their cheeks. Sam was very happy for Mr. Shue; after what had happened at his Not Wedding several months back, he was glad that he and Emma were able to work things out. They were perfect for one another.
The night had been an amazing one. Despite the earlier tears that had come from Brittany’s goodbye, he was proud of her and wanted her to succeed at MIT. On top of that, New Directions were going to Nationals, and now Mr. Shue was officially married. Yes, not too bad of a night, if Sam did say so himself.
Grinning, he looks around the circle at his friends, as they began hugging each other and congratulating the newlyweds. He quickly hugs Brittany, grateful that they could still be close like this. Looking to his right, he sought out the eyes of Blaine, his best friend, who was standing beside him. But Blaine’s eyes were focused on Kurt and didn’t notice Sam’s gaze. Taking in his friend’s appearance, he notices one of Blaine’s arms were behind his back. And in his hand, he holds a small, velvet box. A ring box.
Sam feels his stomach drop. The engagement ring. Blaine stood beside him, with the engagement ring for Kurt behind his back. Sam felt the bile rise in his throat at the sight, all feelings of happiness draining out of him; Blaine was still going through with his proposal to Kurt. And no, Sam shouldn’t be surprised. He had helped Blaine pick out the ring, after all, trying to be the absolute best and most supportive bro that he could be, but seeing Blaine stand there with the ring box in his hands…
It hurt Sam in a way he couldn’t describe.
It made the situation more real.
He remembers how the sales lady had assumed that Sam and Blaine were together, that he was Blaine’s boyfriend. That he was the one that Blaine was buying the ring for. He had brushed it off with a joke, but his heart did thud against his chest a little harder at the thought. He couldn’t deny that there was a part of him that wanted it to be true; which just made the situation even more complicated, more painful.
Noticing that he’d been staring at Blaine for several moments, Sam quickly shakes his head and turns his eyes away, hoping that no one had noticed the pained look on his face. Joining in with the rest, he congratulates the new Mr. and Mrs. Will Schuester, before walking over to the clothing racks on the other side of the choir room. He gathers his things, saying goodbye to everyone as people begin trickling out of the room to head home. Looking to his left, he notices Blaine, Kurt, and Mercedes talking, the ring box nowhere to be found.
Before he could change his mind, Sam quickly walks over to the trio and clears his throat.
“This was some night, huh?”
The other three nod their heads in agreement.
“So, you guys have any plans tonight?” Sam asks Kurt and Mercedes, having not much else to say.
“Well, Kurt’s spending the night at my parent’s place with me,” Mercedes responds. “It’ll be a nice chance for us to catch up.”
“Oh, you’re not coming home tonight Kurt?”
“No, you’ll have the house to yourself tonight, Sam. Since my Dad and Carole are in D.C. for a conference, I figured it would be nice to spend some time with Mercedes, before I leave for New York again tomorrow.”
“Makes sense,” Sam agrees, before turning to Blaine. “So, does this mean you need a ride home? I know that you didn’t bring your car.”
Blaine glances quickly between Sam and Kurt, before nodding his head. “Yeah, if you don’t mind. I guess it would make more sense for you to drive me, than for me to go with Kurt.”
“Yeah, you two go.” Kurt says, “I’ll see you before I leave tomorrow Blaine, don’t worry. I’ll text you and we’ll meet up.”
Sam lets out a silent sigh of relief, as Blaine says his goodbye to Kurt and Mercedes, as well as the few last members of New Directions littering around the choir room. Sam frowns as Blaine gives Kurt a kiss on the cheek, before averting his eyes. Sam wasn’t sure what he was going to say once they were in the car, but this was possibly his last chance to persuade Blaine not to propose.
“Okay, let’s go.” Blaine says, as he hoists his duffle back onto his shoulder. Walking towards the exit, Sam places his arm around Blaine’s shoulder, pulling the smaller boy to his side. They fall into step effortlessly, and as they walk towards the parking lot, Sam couldn’t help noticing how nice Blaine fit against him. It wasn’t news to the blonde that Blaine was much shorter than he was, but he had never really focused on it till now. Their bodies fit together well; their height difference allowing them to walk side by side, closely, without any problems.
Pushing those thoughts aside as they approach his truck, Sam pulls his keys out of his pocket and unlocks the door.
“I saw you, you know.” Sam states, finally breaking the silence. They had been driving for a few minutes, neither of them speaking, the only sound in the car being the radio, which was on low.
Out of the corner of his eye, Sam sees Blaine turn towards him, cocking his head to the side in confusion. He’s so cute when he does that, Sam thinks.
“You saw me? You saw me what?” Blaine questions a beat later, when he realizes that Sam wasn’t going to continue.
“I saw you holding the ring box behind your back in the choir room.”
“Oh, yeah.” Blaine replies. “So?”
“So,” Sam draws out, stopping at a red light and turning towards the other boy. “I guess that means you’re still going to ask Kurt to marry you.”
“Yes Sam, I’m still asking him. I haven’t changed my mind since I bought the ring. Two days ago.”
“Oh well, just thought I’d ask.”
“Well, why? Why would I change my mind? I told you I wanted to do this Sam, and nothing anyone says is going to change that.”
“Yeah, I noticed.” Sam states, unable to keep the bitterness out of his voice. The knots in his stomach from earlier return full force, making him feel sick. Without warning, Sam swerves to the side of the road before cutting the engine.
“Sam? Sam, what the hell are you doing?”
Ignoring his friend’s words, Sam gets out of the car and slams his door, walking away from the truck and Blaine. Sam stops and bends over, trying to stop the waves of nausea that continue to hit him. All the emotions and anxiety he had been feeling for days was finally bubbling up, threatening to spill out of him.
This wasn’t supposed to happen this way. He didn’t know how it was supposed to happen, but this wasn’t it. He wasn’t supposed to get sick at the thought of Blaine proposing to Kurt, stop his car in the middle of a deserted street, and storm out. But he did. And now he had to face the consequences.
With his back to the car, Sam hears Blaine hastily get out of the truck, and the sound of his feet against the gravel as he walked up to Sam.
“Sam, what’s going on?”
Sam refuses to turn around, keeping his head down as he takes slow breaths, the queasiness slowly subsiding.
“Sam...?” Blaine questions, his voice laced with concern and confusion, at seeing his friend’s state. Blaine shuffles forward a few more feet, until he’s standing right behind the taller boy. Bringing his hand up, he grasps onto Sam’s arm. “Are you sick or something? Tell me what’s wrong.”
The sudden contact causes Sam to halt; the feeling of Blaine’s touch felt like it was burning his arm, despite the layers of fabric separating Blaine’s hand from his skin.
Letting out a shaky breath, Sam finally speaks. “You can’t ask him to marry you.”
Blaine’s fingers tighten on his arm. Silence rings between the two of them, as neither of them move or speak.
“You can’t.” Sam repeats several moments later, his voice just as quiet, cracking on the end. Shit, he thought, he wasn’t about to cry in front of Blaine. He couldn’t.
Sam remains silent.
“Why, Sam?” Blaine asks again, louder this time. Letting go of Sam’s arm, he walks around him until he’s facing the blonde. “Sam, look at me.”
Raising his head, he looks into Blaine’s eyes. A mess of emotions swirl in Blaine’s golden-coloured eyes; anger, confusion, concern. The look makes him feel lightheaded.
“Why can’t I marry Kurt, Sam?” Blaine asks again, making sure that Sam’s gaze never leaves his. “Is this about the age thing again? You think we’re too young to—?”
Letting out a groan of frustration, Sam takes a step back from Blaine, breaking the contact between them, and kicks at the ground. The sound of the gravel crunching under his feet steadying him. “No, this isn’t about that!”
“Then what is it, Sam? You said you were okay with this?”
“I never said I was okay with it!” Sam argues. He didn’t. He didn’t.
“Yes, you did! You helped me buy the ring; why would you help me pick out the ring, if you didn’t support me?”
“Because I was trying to be a good friend to you. But, I can’t sit back and let you do this, Blaine! You can’t marry him! You just can’t!”
“You need to give me a reason, Sam! If it isn’t about our age, what is it?”
“The reason doesn’t matter, you just can’t!”
“The reason does matter,” Blaine responds, his voice indicating he was beginning to get annoyed. His fists clench and unclench at his sides. “I think I deserve to know the reason why my best friend doesn’t want me to be happy and marry the love of my life!”
“He’s not the love of your life! You aren’t supposed to be with him! You’re supposed to be with m—“ Sam cuts off, his eyes widening as he realizes what he was about to say. His blood is pounding in his ears; he’s sure that Blaine could hear his heart racing from where he was standing, only a few feet away from him.
You’re supposed to be with me.
Daring to look at his best friend, Sam takes in the stunned look on Blaine’s face.
“Who... Who am I supposed to be with, Sam?” Blaine asks, lowering his voice, as he slowly takes a step towards the other boy, closing the distance between them again. Sam stomach flips.
“Nothing! No one! Never mind! Forget I said anything. Oh, did you feel that? I felt a rain drop. I think it’s about to rain, let’s get out of here,” Sam stutters out, making his way past Blaine, towards his car. But, Blaine grabs his elbow, stopping him.
“No. Tell me, Sam.”
“No one, dude. Forget I said—“
“Sam.” Blaine urges, his eyes burning into Sam’s.
Closing his eyes, Sam takes several deep breaths, before opening them again. Removing Blaine’s hand from his arm, he laces their fingers together. Blaine stares at their linked hands in shock, before returning his eyes to Sam’s face. Sam keeps his eyes on their hands, the sight of it calming his nerves. Without turning his gaze away from their hands, Sam responds. “Me.”
Running his thumb along Blaine’s hand, down to his wrist, he could feel Blaine’s rapid heartbeat. “You’re supposed to be with me.”
“I don’t—I don’t understand.” Blaine stutters out, as he looks back down at their hands, watching Sam’s thumb as he continues his movements along Blaine’s skin. “You—You just—but you’re—you’re straight?” He finally manages.
“I’m not as straight as I thought I was.” Sam concedes, smiling timidly. “Let’s just say you’re not the first guy I’ve found attractive, but definitely the first one I’ve had feelings for.”
“You have feelings for me?” Blaine asks disbelievingly, finally turning his eyes away from their hands, blinking at Sam in shock.
“Well,” Sam chuckles nervously. “I wouldn’t have said ‘you should be with me’ if I didn’t have more-than-friendly feelings for you.”
Blaine fell silent again, his head swimming as he attempts to process what Sam had told him, but his eyes remained on Sam’s face.
Sam allows the silence, realizing that he had just confessed.
“Look, I’m not telling you that you shouldn’t get married, because I want you to be with me. Yes, that’s part of the reason. I’ll admit that some of my reasons are selfish.” Sam clarifies, wanting Blaine to know exactly why he thinks he shouldn’t propose to Kurt. He needed to get it all out now, lay it all on the table, so Blaine knew exactly where Sam stood.
“But, you need to know that it’s more than that. Your happiness is the most important thing to me. Our friendship is the most important thing to me.” He stresses, squeezing Blaine’s hand. Sam wasn’t sure how long they’d been holding hands for, but Blaine hadn’t pulled away yet, so the blonde took that as a good sign. “So, as your friend, I want what’s best for you. No, I don’t think you should propose to Kurt. Not because I think you’re both too young, although that’s also part of it, but because I don’t want you to settle.”
“You think I’m settling for Kurt?” Blaine asks, no malice in his tone, simply curiosity.
“Honestly, man? I do. Not because I don’t think Kurt’s a great guy, because he is, but because I don’t believe you’ll be happy with him, in the long run. No relationship is perfect, I know that, but I’ve seen you two together and apart, and I can definitely say you’re better without each other. I don’t want you to settle because you don’t think you deserve more.”
The two stand in silence on the side of the road, their hands still clasped together. Sam watches Blaine’s face, waiting for a reaction, but Blaine seems lost in thought, his expression one of contemplation. After a few moments, Blaine seems to realize he was zoned out and he meets Sam’s eyes again, looking sheepish.
He gives Sam a small, shy smile. Sam’s heart leaps at that, and he releases their hands, letting his fall to his sides. He flexes his fingers, the feeling of Blaine’s touch lingering, making his skin tingle.
Blaine reaches into the pocket of his jacket, pulling out the ring box. Flipping it around in his palm, he studies the black box, before saying. “I think I’m going to put this away for now.”
Sam feels the air rush out of his lungs. “Yeah?”
Blaine nods, before placing it back in his pocket. He brings his hand up to run over his gelled hair, an action Sam knows Blaine does when he’s nervous; Sam watches the movement in silence, waiting for Blaine to speak.
“Did you, uh—did you mean it? What you just said?” Blaine asks, his hand making its way down to the back of his neck, rubbing it with his fingers.
“Completely.” Sam says, without hesitation. “You deserve everything, Blaine.”
Under the streetlights, Sam could see Blaine’s face flush. Sam feels his own face warming too, knowing that his words affected Blaine that way. They stand there a beat longer, before wordlessly deciding to make their way back to the truck. Sam turns the key in the ignition, before turning to Blaine.
“I meant every single word, Blaine. Because I know, if there’s anyone in the world who deserves their happy ending, it’s you.”