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The Forgotten Lullaby

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-May 29th, 2010.-

-Three weeks after the Accident.

-Paris Community Hospital.

 

What If life gave you a second chance? What would you do?

Would you run away from it... And hide forever? Or would you take that chance, and use It? But Even If you did actually decide to use your second chance, how will It change anything? what do you think It would be like afterwards?

And most Importantly... What would you use it for? would you go back in time... To try and fix all of your regrets? Would you try to go back and buy a box of chocolates for that one girl in high-school that made your big, bright heart flutter?

Answer this question out of pure honesty. It will matter in the very end. Just have faith, and trust In time... And you'll understand very soon.

It's strange... The memories a person is capable of keeping. It's amazing how something so simple as a memory, can mean so much to someone. The human body has to be the most... magnificent thing ever. Life, death, night, and day. They're all the very same in the end.

But... It's even more astounding that memories containing what makes a person, a person, can be snatched away so, very quickly. As If It were never there in the first place. It can be a remorseful tragedy, or a pitiless experience. But... Perhaps that's just what a person needs.

Not just any normal kind of person, but Instead, a fractured, damaged human being. It's quite a beautiful thing... To see someone so, so hurt to the point that they break. Because then, they wouldn't have to deal with it any longer. The pain, the sorrow, the depression. Feelings are what contradicts the actions of a human being. Feelings are what causes people to do unbelievable things. It's breath-taking.

Life's all about moments of impact, and how they change our lives forever. But what if one day you could no longer remember any of them?

Sometimes, the most beautiful things... are the most dangerous.

Today Is May 29th. 2010. It Is currently three weeks after the accident. She Is here at the Paris community hospital.

-X-

He didn't understand It. He didn't understand any of It. Seeing her like that... It tore his heart into shattering pieces. She was unresponsive and insentient, but that didn't stop him from trying.

After all, she was his wife.

She was the only thing he had left in this very world, and he wasn't about to give up on her. he already made a promise to her, and he planned to keep it that way. he loved her too much to just let her slip away from him.

His wife was beautiful, admirable and definitely kind. She had the smile of an angel, the heart of gold, and the touch of Ice. She was his queen, and she was his king.

and even though they were married, and promised together, they were also very, very good friends as well. They met in an abandoned coffee shop, but that's a story for another time.

Her hands in his, he squeezes them gently as he tries to blink back several tears.

he would not give up on her. He would stay by her side to the very end.

She has the mindset of a queen, and the will of a warrior. She Is everything all at once, and too much for anyone who doesn't deserve her.

She Is Mikasa Ackerman-Jaeger.

he knew she would awake from her comatose soon, because he knew that she was strong. Even stronger than him. There's nothing more powerful than a humble person with a warrior spirit who is driven by a bigger purpose.

She... was they type of girl the moon chased and the stars wished for.

No, he Isn't going to loose the strong feelings he had for her. No, He isn't going to find anyone better- there was no one better than her. No, He isn't going to cheat on her. No, he isn't going to leave her.

He's staying right here, right where he belongs.

"Mika" He utters, expressively knowing that it's completely useless to try. but he can't give up, because...How do you look at the girl you love and tell yourself its time to walk away?

She Isn't dead, he wasn't even going to begin to think like that.

after many hours of trying to fight back his tears, it seems his work of efforts were useless. Soon, the waterworks start, and his lips are quivering, his heart is pounding... Even his head is throbbing in migrating pain. And for a moment, he would have liked to shout ''Dear fucking headache. Leave me alone."

But, Obviously, that's Impossible.

You see... Eren thought alot of things weren't possible. He thought that certain things didn't exist. Or, that certain things couldn't exist.

Eren is a man, looking at the world through a key-hole, who spent his whole life trying to widen that said key-hole, To see more, to know more. To understand more.

But what he doesn't know is, that very same key-hole can be widened, in more ways then he could ever imagine. and for whatever reason, he relishes in it, he rejects it.

It's a very windy night, he can tell this because of the sudden wind-stirs he would occasionally feel from across the stray room.

He wouldn't need to go home any time soon. Why would he? for what? His only purpose is currently immobile and unresponsive in a coma, laying in a hospital bed.

Mikasa was the only thing he had left in this world. So, he decided to stay there with his lover.

he leaned down over her unconscious form, placing a tiny, loving kiss over her forehead, cheeks, and lips. Although the kisses he planted were small, they meant so very much.

His eyes starter to water a little more since he was expecting to hear a small adorable giggle from her.

Mikasa would always giggle after Eren gave her kisses like that, and he would always find symphony in those moments. It tore his heart even more when all he heard was the constant beeping of her heart over the ECG monitor.

and the distant, dead silence flooded the room.

was this how it was supposed to be from now on? for the next or so days... Is this how it all has to go?

Eren sniffles against the limp palms of her pale-creamy hands, silently hoping and wishing, even pleading that she would come back to him.

He didn't want her to be alone, and he knew she was scared, and afraid, he knew the things she suffered from, and the things she didn't. that's just the kind of relation they had.

such a beautiful thing...Their relationship to one significant other was. But often times, the most beautiful things are the most dangerous.

he could feel her, he knew she was desperately trying to say something, as if she were trapped. After all, she couldn't move, she couldn't eat, she couldn't blink. and the worst part of being trapped inside of your own body... Is that yu can't speak.

perhaps, It is death within itself.

He kisses her once more before laying his head softly against her soft skin.

he could feel himself slowly drift to sleep, which wasn't really a bad thing. his eyes were red, had bags, and his whole body was tired... so, he needed the rest.

he let himself close his aching eyes, as he began to breathe back and forth in sleep-like position.

He could only support his wife by being there for her... he didn't understand any of it, how she go there, or how she became unaware but... he wouldn't stop until he knew everything.

And he wasn't going to leave her side.

-X-

Have you ever been lost? Or trapped in your own body? Lost in your own mind? what about in time? So desperate to just... escape... to get away. To get away.

That's how she felt.

Like she was stranded in a bottomless pit, with no one there to pull her out. She was so lonely here. She had nobody to talk to, nobody to listen to. and it urked her to no end. It made her feel like she never actually existed.

It wasn't dark there, but in fact, it was very colorful and bright. But it was so lonely...And the haunting beauty truly haunted her, and will continue to haunt her forever. She heard Eren's voice each and every time he would speak to her, but it crushed her heart deeply when she wasn't able to respond to his words. She wanted to see him now, more than ever. She yearned for her husband badly.

She longed for her daughter.

during most times, Mikasa would see her daughter's shadows in her room, moving rhythmically to the Lullaby stuck in her head, that would play over and over and would never stop.she still sees those shadows of her two-year-old daughter.

Eren would always try to tell her that the shadows were just her imagination.. But Mikasa knew better. she knew of her own conditions, her disorders.

She used to take prescriptions that the doctors would giver her, but it only made it worse for Mikasa. Sometimes, Mikasa has these Lucid dreams, that disables her to move, or speak. similar to how it is now. Except now, She's in her own reality, her own verisimilitude. and so far, it's been this way for six weeks so far.

she rubs her eyes, trying to drown out the many voices that whisper the same thing, over, and over and over and over and over and over. ''It's useless. you will never wake up''

And it scared her. mind felt like it were going to burst if she didn't move from the spt she was standing at soon. sometimes, just talking to herself and walking it out makes the voices go away. even if it's just for a little bit.

That's right. Her physical body was unconscious, and insentient, but her spiritual body was in her own world. She feels something... She hears something. Someone is here.

And she wasn't alone.

This never happened before. Sure, she was only here for a short time so far, but she's smart enough to know that something... Doesn't feel right.

Mikasa turns around, both her hands in front of her solemnly. She didn't know what she was doing, neither how she planned to do what she was going to do, but she also didn't know what she was doing with Eren, before they married. and look at how happy they are together.

it couldn't be too bad, right?

she takes another step, and another, then another, and another. Then she hesitates, stopping halfway upon the sight in front of her. She couldn't believe her eyes, it was almost unreal. This is a reality, so it is one-hundred-percent real.

''Mikasa? Is that you..?" He Inquired, looking down onto his hands as if he thought he were some kind of glitch in the system. as if he weren't real.

She couldn't believe herself. nor her eyes.... Wasn't this her own personal reality? something That she made? so... how'd he end up here?

Whether It be her illusions, whether it be something else unexplained, or simply just a commiseration, It didn't matter either way. What did matter, was that her husband was there, in front of her very eyes. and he was standing there, looking at Mikasa with the same curiosity that I looked to him.

let it be known that she was simply happy to finally see him.

she nodded, never loosing her gorgeous smile.

Eren was confused, and scared, and cold. He was going to ask her a question, something along the lines of ''Where am I?'', but the more important question interrupted that process.

You see, when it comes to Mikasa, Eren can be a little... outrageously spontaneous. Meaning, he would set aside whatever it is he's doing, and turn his attention to her.

He wanted to know why Mikasa fell unconscious, he wanted to know he she become Unaware, but most importantly... He really wanted to know what she did to become unconscious in the very first place.

God, he just wanted to know.

Everything else didn't matter anymore.

''Mika, what happened to you?" He commenced, his eyes growing wide at all the possibilities. ''How did you get here-''

"Wouldn't you like to know something far more Important, such as how you got here" Mikasa responds, not making eye-contact with her significant other.

nearly an hour of talk goes by between the two as she explains her motives of this reality. she doesn't tell him too much,judging by the fact that she doesn't really know about the world she created herself either.

the only thing she does know, is that Eren has a gift, a very special gift,

"I see.'' is all he says, most likely thinking.

Eren has the ability to travel to her reality only when he sleeps. and he can only visit between the one-hour time limit as well.

but that's all she will say about that. It's way too early.

Mikasa can tell that Eren desperately wants to to touch her, from the way he looks at my hands. "When I was talking to you, were you able to hear me at all?" he asks, with a very serious tone.

"Yes, of course I could hear you."

Mikasa didn't realize it, but she and Eren went so long without touching each other. so long. 4 weeks may be a short time to most couples or people,but not to Eren and Mikasa. whether they would kiss, hold hands, hug, or indulge in sexual attractions, they would always touch. Always.

he only held her hands a few hours ago, but it wasn't the same. she grabs his hands, clasping them around hers.

just a minute later, a familiar figure arranges onto what looked like a screen. Eren has so many questions, Mikasa can tell he does.

"Look.'' she indicates, as she points her finger the the black mirror.

in an instant, Eren is flashed with memories from his past, starting from the time he was a baby, being carried by his mother, Carla.

Eren's mother passed away three years ago today, due to leukemia. he remembers the lulling melody his mother used to sing to him. The same lullaby that mikasa sang to him in his mother's absence. Mikasa's voice would always calm him down after long days of work, or when he needed her the most...

He stared at the particular memory of when he and Mikasa sang while typing keys on the piano, how they're voices melted together in perfect harmony.

All of a sudden, he felt himself entering that memory slowly as everythng started spinning gradually.

he didn't understand any of this... but, if Mikasa's here, he can do anything.

he entered the memory, but only as a visitor and nothing more.

-X-

April 21st,

-2007.

-Eren and Mikasa's home. sunny afternoon.

 

After a long day of work, Eren needed a break.

he heard the sobs of his wife while her fingers began to press deeply onto the piano keys.

he loved when she played the piano, and when she sang with her beautiful voice. but he hates hearing her cry, it makes his heart wrench deeply.

he removes his tie, and his overcoat-blazer, and shoes. He then sets aside his bag, walking barefooted through the kitchen, going upstairs, and traveling up another set of stairs.

And there she was. shedding tears as she looked up into the ceiling.

she began singing his favorite song ever, his melody. no, their melody.

 

I thought I found a way

But you never go away

So... I guess I have to stay now.

Her voice harmonizes as He takes a seat next to her, playing his part of the song.

His high pitched keys signified his apologies to her, and her low pitched keys symbolized her pain. he wanted to apologize for not being there enough for her. they both began to sing together.

Oh, I hope some day I'll make it out of here

Even if it takes all night, or a hundred years

Need a place to hide, but I can't find one near

'Wanna feel alive, outside I can fight my fear

They continue to play in perfect beauty.

Isn't It lovely, all alone?

Heart made of glass, my mind of stone

Tear me to pieces, skin and bone

Hello, welcome home

They finished the song off, ending with dark keys as they stare into each other's eyes.

and at that moment, it's as if he were randomly pulled away and out of the current memory. leaving him sad, that he had to go so soon.

-X-

-May 29th, 2010.-

-Three weeks after the Accident.

- A reality world???

 

"are you okay?" Mikasa asks her husband, shaking his shoulders.

what was he supposed to say? "Mikasa. I just went inside of your mind in your memory." no, he couldn't say that. It isn't possible, Is it?

then what the hell was that?

Eren didn't understand any of it-

before he could continue, he heard the loud ringing of a bell, that sounded like it be ten times his size. his vision then become hazy, and distorted, as he felt himself begin to loose himself shortly.

He wasn't dying, of course, but... he could feel himself drift away.

he could hear Mikasa yelling after him, that is, until he woke up in the hospital, with his head still on Mikasa's stomach. he awoke in a cold heated sweat.

looking at his hands, he moves every finger, making sure they weren't numb.

Now Eren knew he had a gift, he knew where his wife really was... and, he was glad.

because the thought of being with his wife again made him so very happy.

but what he didn't know was... there was so much more to go from.. he still has yet to learn the sad truth about his daughter that passed away, and his wife.

perhaps, that is death within itself.

-X-

Isn't It lovely?

The way a person's memories can be snatched away so quickly? how a person could forget something completely? As if it were never there in the first place. It would take alot to break apart A strong-willed couple.

What If life gave you a second chance? What would you do?

Would you run away from it... And hide forever? Or would you take that chance, and use It? But Even If you did actually decide to use your second chance, how will It change anything? what do you think It would be like afterwards?

Well. Eren will just have to figure that out for himself.

It's a very beautiful thing, actually. But often times, the most beautiful things, are the most dangerous.