Everything was going to be fine. Sure, Kageyama wasn’t good at making conversation. Or smiling. Or sounding smart. Or, really, anything other than volleyball. And sure, he was seeing his ex, or whatever Tsukishima was, for the first time in a year. But it was just one dinner; Kageyama would survive it and then Hinata would get off his case about hanging out with the old team for at least another six months.
Across the booth, Yachi smiled encouragingly at him. Kageyama nodded at her and violently stabbed his straw into his drink.
Hinata was the next to arrive, sliding in next to Yachi and talking so fast that Kageyama only heard every third word. He ordered a mountain of food, about as much as Kageyama usually ate, too, but right then, Kageyama’s mouth felt like it was filled with sawdust and eating was the last thing on his mind.
“Kageyama, you look even madder than normal,” Hinata said. “Cheer up!”
Kageyama narrowed his eyes instead.
Tsukishima walked up to the table then. Kageyama wished he could say that he went suddenly bald or developed a rare disease that made him shrink fifty centimeters, but no, he looked as good as ever. Better, maybe, and about as relaxed as Kageyama had ever seen him. University life was treating him well.
It was Kageyama who ended things, back at the end of third year. Tsukishima got into Tohoku, and Kageyama had been recruited and was moving to Tokyo with Hinata. It wasn’t like their thing was a real thing anyway; just a lot of hookups in places where they almost got caught by their teammates or coaches. Thinking about dark corners or empty closets where Tsukishima used his hands or mouth on him as footsteps approached was enough to get his heart pounding like he was on the court. It was possible Kageyama had a public thing. It was possible Tsukishima liked exploiting that, or maybe he had a public thing, too. Whatever it was, it was over now, and Tsukishima looked pretty fucking relaxed about it.
Kageyama scowled down into his lap.
While he was busy with that, Tsukishima slid into the booth next to him. Kageyama looked up, surprised, and his heart started beating fast when Tsukishima met his eyes. This wasn’t how things were supposed to go; Tsukishima was supposed to squeeze in with Hinata and Yachi, and Yamaguchi would sit next to Kageyama, doing his duty as the best possible Tsukishima buffer around. But Yamaguchi was stumbling in then, too, apologizing for being the last one, and ruffling Hinata’s hair as he sat down.
Hinata’s mountain of food arrived, and the rest of them added onto it, playing catch up after a year’s worth of being physically separated.
“What have you been up to, Tsukishima-kun?” Yachi asked pleasantly. “You’re always so busy.”
“Tsukki’s program is the toughest one at Tohoku!” Yamaguchi said. “I’m always telling him to stop working so hard and go to sleep.” Kageyama hated the wave of jealousy that washed over him; Yamaguchi was just being Yamaguchi, there was no helping that.
“It isn’t,” said Tsukishima. He stirred his drink with his straw, while Kageyama tried not to stare. His fingers were so long, and Kageyama knew exactly what they could do. Seeing them not taped up was almost like seeing Tsukishima naked. “I’m busy with school, and my lab job, and volleyball –”
“Volleyball!” Kageyama and Hinata both said in surprise. Kageyama felt his face go hot, but Hinata continued, “I didn’t know you still played.”
Tsukishima shrugged. “Since I’m in Sendai, my brother said I had no excuse not playing on his recreational team.”
“We should play while we’re home!” said Hinata excitedly.
And Kageyama expected him to blow Hinata off, but Tsukishima just said, “Sure, but there’s no way I’m as good as you two are now. Even if you do still look like you’re in grade school.”
“Hey!” said Hinata.
Yamaguchi laughed. “Come on, Tsukki. He at least looks like he’s in middle school now.”
“Hey!” Hinata lunged for Yamaguchi and Yachi tried pulling him back. The table rattled dangerously, and Kageyama’s hands came up to stop his milkshake from tipping over. He almost missed it when Tsukishima shifted over a little and slid his hand right into Kageyama’s lap.
Kageyama’s spine went suddenly stiff, and Tsukishima gave his thigh a friendly squeeze. He traced a circle with his thumb, right on the outside of Kageyama’s leg as Yamaguchi finally calmed Hinata down and everyone went back to eating. If Kageyama’s face felt hot before, that was nothing compared to now. When he glanced down, he could see where Tsukishima’s wrist disappeared under the table, but he wasn’t even looking Kageyama’s way. No one other than Kageyama knew anything was happening. He swallowed hard, and tried to keep still as Tsukishima’s nails raked up and down his leg.
OK? Tsukishima spelled out, slowly tracing the letters into Kageyama’s thigh. His head wasn’t turned in his direction, but Kageyama could feel Tsukishima’s eyes on him anyway.
He knew that he could put the brakes on this. Tsukishima was a jerk, but he wasn’t that kind of jerk. If Kageyama refused, Tsukishima would stop right away. They’d finish their food, say their goodbyes at the train station, and then they’d go back to their separate lives. Kageyama would go back to his busy schedule of university classes, volleyball matches, and secretly jerking off to the memory of Tsukishima’s mouth while feeling guilty about it after, just like he had for the past year.
Kageyama, feeling like he was about to catch on fire, gave a short nod. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Tsukishima’s mouth turn up.
While Hinata babbled on about how their team faced Oikawa’s team, just like in high school, Tsukishima’s nails dug into Kageyama’s inner thigh, scratching right along the seam of Kageyama’s jeans. Tsukishima followed the seam higher and higher up Kageyama’s leg, tracing it like his fingers were walking along a path, and Kageyama stifled a gasp when Tsukishima came to a fork in the road.
Hinata paused in his story to stare across the table. “Are you okay, Kageyama?” he asked. “You look a little bit sweaty.”
“Fine,” Kageyama grunted.
Tsukishima turned his way and propped his chin up on his free hand. “Are you sure?” he asked. His face was carefully neutral, which wasn’t any different from his usual face. “Maybe we should call over the waitress for help. Do you want some water?” Then the bastard cupped the front of Kageyama’s jeans and squeezed.
“No!” Kageyama shouted, making Yachi and Yamaguchi’s eyes widen in surprise. He cleared his throat and shifted in his seat. “No, I’m fine.”
“If you say so,” Hinata said, still eyeing him suspiciously. “Weirdoyama.”
Yamaguchi chuckled. “Which one of us are you even talking to?”
Hinata brightened and finally, finally looked away. “Both of you!” he declared, and began telling Yachi about the kitten he found outside of their practice gym.
Tsukishima’s fingers started on their journey again, pushing up the hem of Kageyama’s shirt and skimming along the ticklish part of Kageyama’s stomach. He bit his lip and tensed all his muscles to stop from laughing, and kept them tensed as Tsukishima flicked open his top button and pulled down his fly. If Kageyama was a little more coherent, he’d be almost impressed: Tsukishima’s hand eased into Kageyama’s boxers while he casually told Yamaguchi that his course load should be lighter after the new year, and each finger wrapped around Kageyama’s cock as he made impressed sounds when Yachi told them all about her digital design project. By the time Hinata was getting lectured by Yamaguchi about stealing fries without asking, Tsukishima was stroking him at a steady pace, exactly the way Kageyama liked, like no year had passed and Tsukishima still knew how to make Kageyama cry out and beg. And all the while, Tsukishima looked as impassive as, well, anyone sitting in a restaurant booth not giving a handjob to his ex.
For his part, Kageyama wasn’t doing too well – or, more accurately, the problem was he was doing too well. Kageyama was having the worst time not squirming in his seat, his knuckles white as he clutched the edge of the table. Not being able to see what Tsukishima was doing to him meant all he could do was feel, and being kept on the edge like that was driving him up the wall. His food sat untouched in front of him and he was dead silent, even though all he wanted to do was cry out.
Then, Kageyama made the mistake of looking over at Tsukishima, and found Tsukishima looking back. He didn’t know what he looked like right then, but Tsukishima’s eyes widened and his cheeks went pink before he looked away again, and that was so unfair. Kageyama would be thinking about that look for weeks, and it was all he could think about right then as Tsukishima shifted closer and his hand sped up.
Kageyama’s toes curled inside his shoes. He flexed his calves and sucked in his stomach. He let his eyes slip close as long as he dared and little fireworks went off behind his eyelids before he opened them again. And just as Kageyama was about to come in his pants, Tsukishima looked across the table to make sure none of the others were watching them and whispered, “This doesn’t have to be over if you don’t want it to be,” into Kageyama’s ear. His brain stopped working completely then, other than the thought of Tsukishima bending him over their table, fingering him open, and fucking him senseless.
“Unh,” Kageyama said out loud, mortifyingly, as he came over Tsukishima’s hand. Yamaguchi and Yachi both looked at him, but Tsukishima knocked his napkin onto the floor and had to bend over to get it, switching everyone’s attention to him. It also gave him a chance to pull his hand out of Kageyama’s jeans and clean up, thanks to the napkin. Kageyama quickly did up his pants again while everyone was distracted.
Kageyama sunk down low in his seat. He felt boneless and sweaty and tired, and ready to go again, like, immediately. Any sense of embarrassment he’d been feeling before was nearly gone now, replaced with the giddiness of having gotten away with coming out in the open and no one knowing about it. Yeah, no doubt about it now, Kageyama had a thing, and maybe that thing revolved around a particular person.
Maybe breaking up had been a mistake, and maybe this meant they could fix it.
Hinata suddenly made a distressed sound. “Kageyama, are you smiling?”
“Of course not, dumbass!” Kageyama shouted and lunged across the table.