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Not There Yet

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Being home, after so long, it was more then weird. It was… surreal, nothing felt the same, the grass wasn’t as green as I remembered, the sun wasn’t as warm, it felt like a dream but a dream of a memory I was surprised I didn’t miss anymore.

The first one we dropped off was Pidge, they had insisted on bringing home Matt too who after three days had already annoyed them so much he was kicked into the spare ship we had gotten when we got sick of being cramped up in our lions with so much stuff. He ended up being Shiro’s number one caretaker, and we all thought he had moved into sleeping in Shiro’s bed by the time we dropped them off.

Their parents were more than happy to see their children, home safe at last. Coran and Allura got what they wanted and agreed to give the family some space whilst they got used to being together again.

Hunk went home next. Honestly, I was not expecting the scene when we dropped him off, his mother, who was closer in height to Pidge and out of the house and tackled him to the ground. They hugged between her yelling at him for leaving with no warning and all the tears. Then his father, who was just as big and visually intimidating as Hunk could be when he was angry, came out the door and hugged his son, they almost immediately started talking to him about engineering.

Next to leave us was Shiro, and he took everyone who was left with him, he said he had to tell the Garrison about the friendly aliens they had with them and the not so friendly aliens on their way. I said my goodbyes to Allura, Coran gave me a hug, Romelle even said goodbye and Shiro gave me a hug and told me to take care of Keith.

I don’t know why Keith didn’t go with Shiro, I always assumed the now older paladin was in love with him, but when they talked it sounded like Keith wanted to do something alone. But I wasn’t ready to be alone. And he didn’t seem to be ready either, his mother had to go with Shiro, but promised to meet him at the house he had been born, Keith nodded sadly, and they shared a hug.

So Keith and I flew around together for a while, and played catch with his wolf. Eventually we returned to the shack, as the sun set. We sat on the couch, his wolf sleeping over our laps, looking at the dust that gathered on the board he had left all of the information about his tracking of the blue lion. “I can’t believe this is basically where all this started,” I said to him, looking at the board.
“I can’t believe you haven’t gone home yet,” Keith said, sounding exhausted.
“Sorry I can go,” I started, going to move the wolf off of my lap, even though I wasn’t really ready to go home. Sure I missed my family but right now everything seemed so dull compared to Keith, the lions that practically glowed outside and the wolf who yawned down on my lap.
“No!” he yelped, stopping me, “sorry, can you just stay with me until Krolia comes?”
“I don’t know, now that you’ve mentioned home I would like to go see ma,” I teased with a playful smile. A smile that dropped when I turned my head to see Keith’s teary eyes.
“Why are you crying‽” Keith quickly rubbed at his eyes and flopped back onto the seat.
“I haven’t been alone in over two years,” he whispered, “I don’t want to be alone… I’m not ready.”
“You have your weird cosmic wolf thing,” I supplied, getting a small growl from the wolf which I instantly apologised to, telling the creature that it wasn’t weird and that it was actually really cool and I wished I could teleport whenever I felt like it. “I guess it’s not the same right?”
“Not really,” Keith said, smiling softly, tilting his head to look at me, “can I tell you something.”
“Sure,” I agreed uncertainly, leaning back to look at Keith. Those two years Keith spent with his mum made him gorgeous, he had been fairly attractive beforehand but now… it was unfair, even the mullet looked good.
“When I left Voltron, I had the biggest crush on you,” he admitted, blushing and chewing his lip.
“O-of course you did, I-I’m great,” I stuttered, trying to seem cool and chill about the situation. I had never had someone actually tell me they liked me, sure I’ve had admirers, but never so much as an actual confession.
“Lance,” Keith said, voice tense, “drop the act, if I learnt anything when I was away, it was that you aren’t nearly as confident as you pretend to be.”
“You really worked that out?” I bit my lip, looking at my hand that was almost entirely encased in the fur of the wolf.
“I think seeing the future made me like you more,” Keith said after a little bit, making me jolt my eyes back toward him, “although even if I hadn’t seen the future I would have fallen in love with you anyway, absence makes the heart grow fonder after all.”
“Y-you like me?” I repeated, blinking in surprise. But I thought he liked Shiro…
“I’m not expecting a confession from you, if that’s what you’re wondering,” he added, “I know you’re not there yet.”
“Wait what?” I blushed. “Not there yet?” blinking at the wolf who disappeared from my lap and made a commotion outside.
“You still like Allura right?” Keith said, matter-of-factly.
“Y-yeah,” I agreed, standing up and looking outside to where Shiro and Krolia were talking with the wolf nuzzling her hand. Keith stood up and glanced outside and smiled at his mother who was entranced by Shiro’s story – probably about baby Keith.
“Lance?” Keith asked, standing up and smiling at me with a smile that made my heart skip slightly.
“Thanks for staying,” Keith said, taking my face in his hands and stealing a kiss from me. The kiss was as over as fast as it began, but left me standing dumbstruck in the middle of the ratty cabin, face slowly turning red. I barely registered Keith leaving the cabin until I heard Shiro laughing. Shaking my head, I walked out to join them and say my farewells. I don’t entirely know what he means by ‘not there yet’ but I think I’m going to enjoy working out what he means.