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Tiniest Lifeboat

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Mac has hated her first name ever since shit went down and her best friend was murdered. Sure she wasn’t the best person who ever existed but really who is? Now every time she hears the name Heather all she can see is a blood red scrunchie and blue draino dripping from Heather’s pale lips. Then her boyfriend and his friend were killed shortly after leaving the whole school thinking he was gay and she turned him that way. The mocking was relentless and she was just so tired of it. She knows what happened now. How they all died. How none of their deaths were suicides. How one of her other friend’s got manipulated by some unstable trigger happy all American white boy. She has been really angry at Veronica since she told her. She thought Veronica had been there for her through the tough times. Turns out she caused them and was still hanging out with her due to pity. She has refused to speak to her for nearly 3 months. Soon she realized that with avoiding both Veronica for obvious reasons and Duke for being even more toxic than the friend that she proceeded Mac was lonely as hell. Now she finds herself sitting on her bed at 4 am, unable to sleep, staring at her phone considering Veronica to hang out. She’s hit a point in her solitude where she’s not sure why she was so pissed. After all it was really JD’s fault anyway. She picks up her phone, dial in her number, and clicks call. The moment she hears the first ring her chest constricts. The second ring starts and her hand shakes. The third ring starts and get cut off mid ring.
“Mac?” a sleep thick voice asks.
She instantly hangs up.
Shit shit shit. I’ve been awful to her. I ignored her for ages and I am expecting her to be waiting for me call. Why would...
Mac’s phone rings and she declines the call without even checking the caller. She’s vibrating with nerves and just can’t answer. Then her dings off with a text from...

Ronnie: Are you okay Macky?

She can hardly believe that Veronica even still cares about if she’s ok with how she’s been treating her. She texts back as quick as her shaky fingers will allow.

Macky: im ok. just wanna tlk tmrw. 7/11 after school work? icee on me.

Ronnie: Are you sure you’re ok?

Macky: yup :)

Ronnie: It would be my pleasure then.

She releases a deep, heavy sigh. She hopes she can talk her back into tolerating her enough to hang out. She is so tired of being alone. She doesn’t know what she’ll do to herself if she stays like this much longer.

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The minutes of class just drag on and on. Veronica just wants to know what is up with Mac. She feels her leg bounce all day. She tries to talk to her at lunch but she’s not even in the cafeteria. Martha comes running up to her smiling wide. “We’re still on for movie night tonight, right?” She asks excited.

Typically this is the highlight of her week but with Mac calling her out of the blue when she was starting to believe they’d never speak again, hanging up, then not telling her what was wrong, she just feels pure dread. She shrugs at her friend. “I’m not sure. Mac texted me last night and wanted to talk.”

Martha’s eyes narrowed. “The Mac that’s cut you off? The reason you cried yourself to sleep for a month? The reason you couldn’t eat for a week? That Mac?” She asks bitterly.

Veronica nods. “Typical of a Heather. Always trying to hurt someone.” Martha huffs.

“Please don’t call her that. She’s Mac. And I hurt her first.”

“No you didn’t. JD did. What on earth does she want? Doesn’t she think she’s hurt you enough?” She proceeded not letting her friend blame herself. 

“I don’t know. She didn’t say. That’s what I intend on finding out. I’ll text you if I won’t be there by 7, ok?”

Martha huffs softly. “You’ve still got it bad for her, don’t you?”

Veronica looks down at her lunch tray, shrugging. “Ok. I understand. But Ron?”


“Please be careful. Don’t let her destroy again. Please don’t make me watch that again.”

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Mac couldn’t sleep, eat, or function the terror of the outcome of tonight raged through her body. She called WHS as her mom to tell them she was sick and couldn’t make it. She just needed a mental health day to prepare for this. She knows she shouldn’t have treated Veronica like she had but she was just pissed and finally had someone to blame who wasn’t herself for not noticing how much her loved ones were struggling. She looked at her clock zoning back into the real world from imagining all the awful ways that this could go. 3:06pm. Fuck she was going to be late. She rushed through the shower then tossed on some denim shorts that cover her knees, a yellow shirt, and her black hi-top converse. She quickly pulled her still damp hair into a ponytail running out to get to the 7/11 before she was late. It was times like these that she missed having friends who could drive. She got there and checked her phone. 3:49. She hoped she was super late as she entered the store. She went to the salty snacks aisle finding Veronica staring at the corn nuts. She was stunning in her powder blue skirt and black long sleeve blouse. She missed her so much. She had to hold herself back from running up to her and hugging her as tight as she could. She walked over placing her hand on Veronica’s shoulder softly. “Thank you for coming Ronnie. I hope I haven’t kept you waiting too long.”

Veronica smiled weakly as Mac noticed the dark tired bags under her eyes. Mac found herself wonder if Veronica was getting as little sleep she was. “Hey. Not at all. Maybe 5 minutes.”

Mac bites her lip nervously. “Cherry, cola, or blue?”

Veronica quirked her head confused. “The icee I promised you. Which flavor would you like?” Mac clarified.

“Oh. Blue. Thank you.”

She purchased the sweet slush for to 2 of them then suggested they go to the park a block away and Veronica agreed. When they got there they found a bench to sit on together. They sat quietly for a little. Mac knee bounced with anxiety as her slushie shook in her hands. Veronica turned towards her to ask why she called her last night but before she could she heard Mac sniffle. “I’m sorry Ronnie. I’m so so sorry. I shouldn’t have taken my anger out on you. I had just lost one of my closest friend and my boyfriend then my other closest friend shunned me for status. I felt so alone. I know you didn’t but I felt like you made me hurt like this on purpose. I needed someone to blame so I wasn’t a fucking useless loser who let her friends die. I know I don’t deserve it but please give me another shot. Please. I won’t fuck it up this time. I just miss you. I miss people. I miss interacting with people. Especially you. I’m sorry Ron. So deeply sorry. If you give me the chance I swear I’ll make it up to you.”

Veronica wipes away the tears for Mac’s face. “I have missed you too. I forgive you. You have been forgiven for a long time. You don’t  need a second chance. You are still on your first. I didn’t leave you because I was hurt. I gave you space and hoped you would come back in your own time. I’m sorry for all the shit I did. I should have known JD was so fucked up. I shouldn’t have let him twist my morals and my deeds the way that I did. I’m sorry for helping him with everything he did before he tried to bomb the school. It was foolish of me. I should have known better. I should be the one begging for your forgiveness.”

Mac shakes her head a little still crying then launches herself into Veronica’s arms hugging her tight. Veronica jumps slightly tensing up. She slowly lets herself relax in Mac’s arm hugging her back messing with her still damp hair.

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Veronica invites Mac to her house to hang out and Mac accepts her offer. They sit on her bed talking about things they’ve done since they last spoke. Suddenly Veronica noticed the time. Fuck. It’s 6:34. It’s still movie night and Martha still doesn’t know what the plan. She quick sends her a text.


Blue: Hey. Mac is at my house. We are cool again. Is it ok if she stays for movie night if she wants?


Dunn With You: only if I choose the movie


Blue: It’s a deal.


Dunn With You: so its gonna b @ ur house?


Blue: Yes


Dunn With You: omw


She looks up at Mac who is laying back on her bed listening to the music she has playing. She has had her over for past movie nights. Hell, she had gotten tipsy and let the cat out of the bag at the last one Mac attended. “It’s movie night tonight. Martha is coming over. Want to stay for it?” She asks hopefully.

“I’d love to. I’ve missed them so.” The blonde replies.

They both go down stairs together to pop some Jiffy Pop and prepare for the night. Martha arrives shortly after and chooses Tangled to the other two girls relief that it wasn’t The Princess Bride again. They all settled in on the couch snuggled up under a blanket together like no time had passed. When Tangled ended they decided that they weren’t ready for the night to be over yet so Mac chooses Happy Feet for the next movie. She just really wanted a light hearted movie to relax with. Somewhere in the middle of tap dancing penguins and her 2 friends her 70+ hours without sleep catch up to her. She dozes off leaned against Veronica.

All of the sudden she wakes up to a loud slam with Veronica jumping with the noise. She hears Mrs. Sawyer shout her greeting coming in. Veronica gets up and jog to her mom. It’s only then that she notices Martha’s absence. She gets up looking around. She sees a clock. 12:17am. She’s been there over 6 hours. It’s been so nice she never wants to go home. It’s not like her parents would care. Veronica comes back to her and smiles tiredly. “Hey Macky. How’d ya sleep?”

Mac smiles back blushing. “The best I have in a while honestly” She can hear her dead friend screaming at her for being so obvious. She runs her hand through her blonde locks. “Where’s Martha?”

The brunette shrugs. “After Happy Feet ended she decided she was beat and it was time to call it a night. She said you looked exhausted and to let you sleep instead of saying goodbye to you.”

Mac nods still kind of dazed. Veronica notices how out of it she still is. “You can sleep over here if you like. It’s late and you’re a 20 minute walk from your house.”

Mac sighs. “You sure I won’t be a burden?”

Veronica grins at her. “You never are Macky.”


They are too tired to argue about who gets the bed so they both lay on it back to back on the blue girl’s bed in their regular clothes.

“Goodnight Macky.”

Mac smiles a little. Oh how she’s missed that nickname.

“Goodnight Ronnie.”