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Holding onto you

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Blankly, Hiromitsu stares at the ceiling while he is lying in bed. He wishes that everything had just been a bad dream, that he would wake up with Rei in his arms soon, that Rei would throw an annoyed look at him once he tells him about the dream. The thing Hiromitsu wants to hear the most, is confirmation that Rei hadn’t slept with Rye, but he knows that this is wishful thinking.

Rei had cheated on Hiromitsu, and it breaks his heart.

After having a relationship for eight years, Hiromitsu had been so sure that Rei is meant for him, and only for him. He doesn’t want to share Rei’s heart with anyone else, Hiromitsu is the one who is supposed to make Rei smile and give him the feeling that he’s the most important person on the whole wide world – just how Hiromitsu views him.

Rye had made him wary for a while, all the gazes he had thrown at Rei had rubbed Hiromitsu the wrong way. He had suspected that Rye desires Bourbon, especially once Rye had started to provoke Bourbon more frequently to piss him off and get all of his attention. The lewd look on Rye’s face whenever Bourbon ignored everything around them to argue with Rye reminds Hiromitsu of his own expression he eyes Rei with. This comparison makes everything worse, because if Rye truly wants Bourbon’s body, Hiromitsu will have to get his husband out of Rye’s grasp.

Hiromitsu doesn’t want to force Rei to keep up their relationship. In the end, the thing he wishes the most for is Rei being happy. However, as long as Rei had feelings for Hiromitsu, he doesn’t want to give him up. While Rei’s priority is still protecting Japan, Hiromitsu knows that he had played a huge factor in Rei’s decision to infiltrate the Organization. Rei wouldn’t have looked out for Hiromitsu in particular if he had lost his feelings for him in the last two years, and he especially wouldn’t have gotten back together with him.

Bourbon and Rye having sex and hearing how pleased Rei had sounded throughout it, leaves a bitter taste in Hiromitsu’s mouth, but he will fight for the person he loves. The only one who is able to stop him is Rei himself if he decides to break up – unless that happens, Hiromitsu will show Rye that he has to keep his hands off the person Scotch is committed to.

Suddenly, the sound of a key being turned inside a lock comes out of the direction of Hiromitsu’s front door. Hiromitsu gets up and walks a few steps forward, meeting sight with Rei who pulls his spare key out of the door once he had entered the apartment. Quietly, Rei closes the door behind him and Hiromitsu can’t help but notice that Rei is limping slightly. The knowledge or what – or, rather, who - is to blame for that causes Hiromitsu’s insides to churn up, but he puts a neutral face on to hide that.

“I…,” Rei speaks up as he meets Hiromitsu's gaze, but breaks off and avoids eye contact immediately afterwards. Balling his hands into fists and staring on the ground, he continues, his voice as tense as his body. “I’ve thought about a way to apologize, but I’ve come to realize that nothing can make up for the cruelty I have done to you.”

“You slept with Rye,” Hiromitsu states drily. Rei grits his teeth as Hiromitsu addresses the topic so boldly, but he doesn’t deny what had happened. Hiromitsu heard everything, after all. That’s why he can say the next words with confidence, as hard as they may be. “And you enjoyed it.”

Rei’s head jerks up after Hiromitsu confronts him. Hiromitsu can’t remember the last time he saw Rei panicking, he knows Rei as a person who is composed most of the time and if he’s upset, he’s rather hot-tempered than defensive. “It’s just been the hormones!”

Hiromitsu wishes Rei would believe his own lies before he tries to convince Hiromitsu of them.

Keeping his poker face on, Hiromitsu steps forward and places his hands on Rei’s shoulders, staring Rei straight in the eye as he asks him a question he expects an honest answer to. “Rei, do you want to stay in a relationship with me?”

The panicked look on Rei’s face fades, only to be replaced by the familiar temper. Worked up, he raises his voice and almost yells at Hiromitsu. “Of course I do! There’s no way that I’ll leave the person I love for a person who fucks better!”

Right after the words leave Rei’s mouth in the heat of the moment, he realizes his mistake. Quickly, he searches for words to explain himself, make the best out of what he messed up, but he doesn’t need to do that. It’s Hiromitsu who pulls Rei close to him, placing his arms around Rei in an embrace. “It’s alright, I love you too.”

Rei stays silent, but returns the hug and buries his nose inside Hiromitsu’s crook of the neck. They stand there for a while and for once, Hiromitsu doesn’t kiss him or touches his private areas. He can’t forget about Bourbon’s loud moans that asked Rye for more, moans louder than the ones Hiromitsu had ever gotten out of Rei. While Rei tries to convince himself that he doesn’t have feelings for Rye, Hiromitsu is aware that he is developing some for him.

However, Hiromitsu wants to believe Rei’s lie as well.


The next time Hiromitsu meets Rye as Scotch, he wants to punch him. Luckily for both Rye and Hiromitsu, he has enough self-control to restrain himself from doing some hasty actions. Instead of acting according to the grudge inside him, Scotch greets Rye as usually and acts like nothing had happened.

While Bourbon is busy luring the target out, Rye and Scotch are on a rooftop with their rifles readied. If Bourbon hadn’t stepped into Rye’s life, Scotch would have talked to him casually. However, things aren’t the same as they used to be some while ago, the relationship between Scotch and Rye is beyond repair.

“I’ll take the shot,” Rye decides. Scotch looks over to him before he moves his head back to focus on the target again. Just because he refrains from punching the living shit out of Rye doesn’t mean that he will hold his salt about Rye having stuck his dick into his life partner. “Yeah, you seem to like taking things that don’t belong to you.”

“Oh?” Scotch can’t see Rye’s face while looking though his rifle, but he clearly hears the amused tone of voice out of Rye’s simple reaction. He can clearly imagine Rye’s cocky smirk as Rye retorts. “What can I say, I’m good at firing – especially into some sexually frustrated old housewives who can’t be pleased by their husband anymore.”

Not wanting to give Rye the satisfaction of having managed to piss Scotch off, he remains calm. The anger and jealousy building up inside Hiromitsu’s body are covered up by a poker face that doesn’t reveal what he is thinking. Due to the lack of emotions on his face, Rye is forced to take Scotch at his word, or simply make up his own assumptions about Scotch’s mood. “You don’t know a single thing about Bourbon. He would never be happy as a housewife.”

Their exchange of provocations is interrupted by Bourbon giving the permission to shoot. Just like promised, it’s Rye who finishes the target off by pulling the trigger. Quickly, Scotch and Rye put their equipment back into the guitar cases once Bourbon manages to escape the scene of the crime. Strapping his guitar case on his back, Rye turns to Scotch and comments on his previous statement. “I think I know more about him than you want to admit, Hiromi

Scotch’s eyes return Rye’s gaze coolly, the atmosphere forming around them tense.


After reuniting with Bourbon, Scotch wraps and arm around his shoulder and grins at him. “Well done, Bourbon!”

He can clearly feel Rye’s eyes piercing his back, but that’s exactly what Scotch wants to achieve. Bourbon’s attention turning from Rye to Scotch makes him feel even more victorious while he pushes the thought that Bourbon had looked over at Rye to the back of his mind.

“Being a spotter is not that hard,” Bourbon smirks and lets Scotch’s arm rest on his shoulders. The three of them walk toward Rye’s car, and while he is fishing his keys out of his pockets, Rye scoffs at Bourbon’s statement. “It might be a bit harder if you walk with a limp.”

Both Scotch and Bourbon glare at Rye, although Scotch’s facial expression is more subtle than Bourbon’s. Despite his anger, Scotch refrains from speaking for Bourbon since he knows how much Rei hates it when other people don’t let him fight his own fights. Hiromitsu wants to respect Rei’s personal preferences, so he has to rely on him to talk back to Rye – and he does, much to Hiromitsu’s delight. “Shut up, Rye.”

Rye’s and Scotch’s eyes meet for a split second. Scotch can feel his corners of the mouth twitch upwards into a smirk as he pulls Bourbon a little bit closer. He sends a silent message to Rye, and Rye understands what Scotch is trying to say. Mine.

Smiling to himself and lighting a cigarette, Rye presses a button on his car keys to unlock his Chevrolet.


Rei doesn’t feel comfortable around Rye. It’s not like before, when he has simply disliked Rye’s antics – no, now the reason why Rei doesn’t want to be close to Rye is because he reminds him of what Rei's done to Hiromitsu.

Even though Hiromitsu claimed that he’d forgiven Rei because he knows that Rei loves him, Rei still feels horrible whenever his mind wanders back to the night he spent with Rye a few days ago. He didn't have sex with Hiromitsu immediately afterwards, on one hand because Hiromitsu didn't want to hurt Rei while he was still sore and on the other, because this soreness reminded Rei of Rye, the person he wants to stop thinking about – especially if his mind is supposed to think about Hiromitsu while they spend some time alone.

However, for some reason, Rei isn’t able to get Rye out of his head. While Hiromitsu kisses Rei on the couch and touches him gently, all Rei can think about is that it’s the same place Rye fucked his brains out at. He keeps telling himself that this is just because the event happened a few days ago, that these thought will vanish soon because Hiromitsu is the person Rei loves and wants to spend the rest of his life with.

It would probably be better to move to the bed and continue making out there, so Rei doesn’t get reminded of the sensation of his hands being tied together while Rye shoved his dick inside him, thrusting hard and making Rei bend his back in pleasure – and yet, Rei doesn’t voice his thoughts. While Hiromitsu presses his lips on Rei’s, just like Rei’s always liked, the memory of Rye’s rough treatment turns Rei on.

He feels sorry for Hiromitsu. He feels so sorry for him that no words can express how much Rei regrets thinking about another man while kissing the one he truly loves. Rye has a huge cock, so what? Hiromitsu doesn’t just offer good sex, but also a great heart which has supported and loved Rei for several years and even more to come.

Rei doesn’t even like Rye to begin with. The thing between them had just been sex – no, a mistake. No feelings had been involved, that’s what Rei tells himself over and over again like a mantra. He doesn’t like Rye. He loves Hiromi. He doesn’t like Rye. He loves Hiromi.

And yet, Rye’s smug grin flashes into Rei’s mind while Hiromitsu touches the bulge that forms in Rei’s pants while thinking about his night with Rye.

He doesn’t like Rye, Rei continues. It’s getting harder for him to focus on Hiromitsu while lust rushes though Rei’s veins. He loves Hiromi.


Two weeks pass and the relationship between Hiromitsu and Rei is finally back to normal. Hiromitsu doesn’t hold a grudge against Rei, and he also tries not to remind Rei of his cheating.

While they act exactly like they had acted around each other before the night Rei spent with Rye, a lot changes on Rei’s inside. He starts to think about Rye more frequently, and whenever he wants to get rid of these thoughts, they become more clear, more adamant. It’s like Rye forces himself inside Rei’s mind, something Rei doesn’t like at all.

Every second Rei spends thinking about Rye feels like a wasted second. Hiromitsu didn't find any indication that Rye is a NOC, so Rei assumes that Rye is nothing but a murderer. Once the Organization is destroyed, Rei will make sure to put the handcuffs around Rye’s wrists himself, just like Rye had done with his belt-

No. Rei stops his thoughts from wandering off right there. He doesn’t have the intention to repeat some sexual activities with Rye, no matter how good Rye is in bed. The only reason why he wants to handcuff Rye is because Rei wants to bring that bastard to justice, both for his crimes and because he invaded Rei’s mind despite him not having asked Rye to do that.

A relationship with Rye would never work out. Rei is committed to Hiromitsu and loves him with all his heart, whereas Rye is not just a murderer, but also a huge jerk who isn’t good for anything but wild sex.

The first time Hiromitsu and Rei have sex together after the incident, Rei notices that Hiromitsu’s touches are completely different. Hiromitsu’s touches are tender and show Rei how much he loves him. He can also be quite demanding, a side of his that always manages to turn on Rei. However, no matter how wild Hiromitsu gets, he’ll never able to get on the rough level of Rye since his feelings hold him back from hurting Rei – even if the pain is meant to make their sex more exciting.

Despite Rye being the better top - and Rei hates himself for admitting that - Rei isn’t bored by Hiromitsu. He still manages to make Rei moan and shiver in pleasure, and although he doesn’t call Hiromitsu’s nickname out as loudly as he had screamed Rye’s codename, that doesn’t mean that Hiromitsu isn’t good at what he does.

Rei enjoys the time he spends with Hiromitsu because he’s got feelings for him and can be certain that these feelings are equally returned. Unlike with Rye, their sex has a meaning, because they love each other – something Rei can’t say about Rye because he dislikes that walking fashion disaster and is sure that these negative feelings are mutual.

As if he wants to confirm his own thoughts, Rei turns around in his bed and places a kiss on Hiromitsu’s lips while he’s sleeping. Apparently, this has woken Hiromitsu up because as Rei buries his head in Hiromitsu’s chest, Hiromitsu places an arm around Rei while his eyes are still closed.

With a man as wonderful as this one, by his side, Rei doesn’t need anyone else.


The next time Scotch and Bourbon meet Rye is on their next mission. They are supposed to meet an influential and corrupt CEO inside a casino and strike a deal with him. While Bourbon would meet him in person, it is Rye and Scotch’s task to keep a close watch and support Bourbon if a fights breaks loose.

Since the client lives in Hokkaido, the three of them are forced to book a hotel room. Luckily, there is a hotel close to the casino that has a room for three people to offer, so Rye immediately reserves a room with three separate beds. Scotch thinks that he’d done it, because he doesn’t want Bourbon and Scotch to share a double bed while he takes the leftover single bed.

After Scotch and Bourbon get dressed, it is Rye’s turn to enter the bathroom to tame the mess he calls hair and put on his evening attire. While Rye is busy, Scotch sits down on his bed and makes a welcoming gesture with his hand, asking Bourbon to come closer to him.

Not sure what Scotch wants from him, Bourbon steps forward until he is right in front of Scotch. As soon as he is only an armlength away from him, Scotch reaches out for the bolo tie around Bourbon’s neck and pulls him down. Bourbon displays no resistance, he lets Scotch do as he pleases and returns the kiss placed on his lips. While Scotch is uniting their lips, he places his free hand on Bourbon’s lower back and applies some gentle pressure, signalling Bourbon that Scotch wants him to sit on his lap.

Once Bourbon takes a seat, Scotch licks with his tongue over Bourbon’s bottom lip, making him open his mouth so Scotch can slip inside. As much as Scotch would like to unbutton Bourbon’s vest and the shirt beneath it, they have to arrive at the casino soon so there is no time to get heated up in their actions. His arms still wrapped around Scotch’s neck, right where he placed them during the kiss, Bourbon pulls away. “What was that for?”

A mischievous grin forms itself on Scotch’s face as he leans in until their lips are only separated by a few centimeters. He can feel Bourbon’s warm breath when he answers him flirtatiously. “I’m sorry, but it’s hard for me to resist if you look so handsome. This waiter uniform and the bolo tie rival your suit.”

“You don’t look half-bad yourself,” Bourbon retorts, a sly smile also forming on his face. Due to his back being turned to the bathroom door, Bourbon doesn’t notice that Rye steps out of the bathroom quietly and sets his sight on Scotch and Bourbon while they are in that position. That’s exactly what Scotch had planned. Looking Bourbon straight in the eyes, Scotch whispers something against his lips. “I love you.”

Bourbon smiles and closes the space between them, pulling Scotch into another kiss. While Bourbon’s eyes are closed, Scotch returns Rye’s gaze with a smug expression written in his eyes whereas Rye remains as stoic as always.


The casino is well-attended, but Bourbon had been able to find the client. After he made a deal with him, Bourbon is ready to take his leave – if it hadn’t been for a hand grabbing his wrist and pulling him on a lap. He doesn’t need to look up to tell who’s the culprit, the scent is everything Bourbon needs to recognize Rye. He hates that it has become so easy to tell Rye’s scent from other ones apart.

“Hey, bastard,” Bourbon insults Rye while keeping his voice low so the people around them won’t notice the tension. “What do you think you’re doing?”

Rye remains calm and lets go of Bourbon’s wrist, taking his cards in both hands instead of holding them with one and trapping Bourbon from both sides by doing so. Bourbon can feel Rye breathing in his neck, and he doesn’t like it because he’s starting to get side-tracked again.

“I want to finish this round of poker before we leave,” Rye responds, continuing his game without paying attention to the glances he is receiving from the people around him. Instead of refraining himself, Rye even comes closer and places his lips on Bourbon’s neck, sending shivers down his spine. Quickly, he pushes Rye’s left arm away and gets out of his trap. Standing on his own feet again, Bourbon grabs Rye’s wrist and pulls him up from the chair. “I don’t care about your stupid game, we’re leaving.”

Bourbon doesn’t realize that he keeps holding Rye’s wrist while he makes his way through the mass of people around them. With one hand, he selects his messenger application and asks Scotch where he is. He hasn’t even put his mobile phone back into his pocket when Rye suddenly pulls him around a corner and presses him against a wall. The sudden impact makes Bourbon drop his mobile which angers him in return. “Are you mental?!”

Before he can continue, Rye pins his arms to the wall and shuts him up with a kiss. Memories of Rye tying him up and thrusting his dick inside him suddenly surface, and Bourbon tells himself that he doesn’t like Rye over and over again. He doesn’t like Rye. He doesn’t like Rye. He doesn’t like Rye.

Suddenly, Rye bites Bourbon’s bottom lip and takes advantage of the gasp escaping Bourbon’s mouth by shoving his tongue inside. The kiss tastes exactly like the ones they shared a few weeks ago and send some shivers down his spine for the second time within a few minutes. Eventually, Bourbon returns the kiss.

Fuck, he thinks while moving his lips against Rye’s, taking in the scent and taste that are so arousing.

He does like Rye.


Rei feels like shit.

It’s not the sleepless night which bothers him, it’s the fact that he can’t help but feel guilty for what happened on the mission a few hours ago. Not wanting to hurt Hiromitsu again, he doesn’t tell him about the kisses he shared with Rye in a more secluded area until his mobile rang, interrupting the both of them. Scotch was the one to call him, and Rei is glad that it stopped him from going further.

Rei reaches out for Hiromitsu’s hand which he put around Rei before falling asleep. Gently, he intertwines it with his own, moving his fingers carefully so Hiromitsu wouldn’t wake up. Right there, on his ring finger, Rei wanted to put a ring on – still wants to do that… or had he changed his mind already?

He is so confused about himself. There’s no doubt about it that he enjoys Rye’s touches, but an affair couldn’t possible rip his relationship with Hiromitsu apart, right? He’d been dating Hiromitsu for eight years. Hiromitsu is the life partner Rei would have liked to marry officially a long time ago if it hadn’t been for the fact that Japan still didn’t allow gay marriage and society still frowned upon it as well.

A relationship with Rye would have zero ground. Rei can’t imagine having a romantic relationship with a murderer, their relationship would be purely sex-based. While Rye can only see Bourbon’s body, Hiromitsu sees the whole picture. Sometimes, Rei thinks Hiromitsu knows him better than he knows himself. He knows about his likes and disliked, always finds a solution as to how he can uplift Rei’s mood – just now, Hiromitsu won’t be able to do it because there is no way Rei can tell him that he’s taken an interest in Rye.

Suddenly, Hiromitsu moves and Rei realizes that he’s applying too much pressure on his hand while thinking about his mistakes. Absentmindedly, his emotions had gotten the better of him, something Rei could only allow when nobody could see him. Now that Hiromitsu is half-awake, he has to put on his poker face again. “Sorry, stomach ache is keeping me up.”

“’s fine,” Hiromitsu mumbles tiredly, almost dozing off again. He placed his hand on Rei’s abdomen, rubbing it tenderly while kissing Rei’s neck – right where Rye had kissed him during his poker round. Rei wants to focus on Hiromitsu’s affection, but he isn’t able to do so, the second time he made out with Rye still fresh in his mind.

Rei turns around, and as if he wants to convince himself of his own words, he places a hand on the back of Hiromitsu’s head and pulls him closer, their lips almost touching. “I love you.”

He wants Hiromitsu to be the only person he loves.


The thoughts about Rye haunt Rei and he isn’t able to let go of them anymore. He’s disappointed in himself that he cannot get Rye out of his head, that he’d cheated on Hiromitsu again, right after their relationship had been fixed. This disloyal side of his is completely new to Rei, he doesn’t know himself as a person who would turn on someone or something he is committed to. Getting involved with Rye is both against his commitment towards Hiromitsu as his life partner as well as his loyalty toward the NPA which wouldn’t approve of him being seduced by a criminal.

Since his sexual interest in Rye goes against his mission, Rei decides to do something about it. He has to get rid of whatever desire he has for Rye if he wants to focus on his mission and repair the damage Rye had done to his relationship with Hiromitsu.

For once, Rei doesn’t have a concrete plan because he can’t predict what is going to happen when he confronts Rye. He might throw punches at him, might raise his voice, might try to kill him or - and Rei hates that thought - he might have sex with him again. At this point, Rei thinks that none of these possibilities could make anything worse. His mind is already full of Rye and if Rei manages to get him out of his head by spending another night with him, so be it. If it goes that far, Rei will at least realize that no feelings are involved and that he should give it up and return his full attention back to the person he truly loves.

Scotch’s new mission comes quite in handy for Rei. Since Chianti had been injured recently, Scotch is supposed to assist Korn for a few days. With a smile, Hiromitsu places a kiss on Rei’s lips and tells him that he’ll be back soon. Afterwards, he leaves Bourbon’s apartment, a guitar case strapped on his back as he takes off.

Once Rei can be sure that he won’t cross paths with Hiromitsu, he takes his keys and leaves his apartment. It doesn’t concern him whether Rye expects him, Bourbon will stand in front of his door without an invitation. Sorting this problem out is important to Rei and should be resolved as soon as possible so he can kiss Hiromitsu again without wasting his thoughts on a murderer.


If Rye is surprised at seeing Bourbon, he doesn’t show it on the outside. Then again, his facial expressions vary from disinterested to very disinterested up to completely disinterested most of the time, with a few smug grins mixed in whenever Bourbon is around.

“What are you doing here, Bourbon?” Rye doesn’t bother to greet him as he leans against his doorframe, arms crossed in front of his chest. Bourbon scoffs. “I want to confirm something.”

With that, Bourbon enters Rye’s apartment without waiting to be asked to come inside. He’s polite when he needs to, but Rye neither needs nor deserves his respect. As Bourbon takes a seat at Rye’s couch, Rye closes the door and comes over to him. “So, what do you want to ‘confirm’?”

“Oh, I just want to confirm that you are an asshole,” Bourbon grins cockily at Rye, challenging him with a fierce look in his eyes while Rye sits down next to him. Rye accepts the small challenge, the neutral expression on his face replaced by an equally smug one. He takes Bourbon’s chin between thumb and index finger and looks him straight into the eyes. “I don’t think you need confirmation for that.”

Of course, Bourbon knows that one already. What he wants to confirm is something else, he wants to prove to himself that the only person he has feelings for is Hiromitsu. However, he won’t open up his heart to anyone, especially not a bastard like Rye. Rye isn’t the type of person who talks about feelings, and on the spur of the moment, Bourbon decides to let his actions speak for him.

His fist almost moves on his own as Bourbon tries to hit Rye, only for Rye to catch it before it can reach his cheekbone. Suddenly, the tables are turned as Rye grabs Bourbon’s waist and turns him around. Bourbon could feel the cushion right under his back when Rye uses his hands to hold him down, grinning arrogantly. “This brings back memories, doesn’t it?”

“Rye, you bastard!” Bourbon retorts, pissed off about the fact that Rye overpowers him once again. Is there even something this guy is not better at – despite his fashion sense and taste in food? Bourbon hates to admit it, but right now he’s in an unfavorable position.

Fine, if that is the direction their interaction is heading to, Bourbon will roll with it. He’s here to prove to himself that he doesn’t feel anything when he’s making out with Rye, how he manages to achieve that is irrelevant.

Not wanting to give Rye the satisfaction to be the one who has the situation under control, Bourbon frees his hands and wraps them around Rye’s neck to pull him down with force. Unlike the last two times, it’s Bourbon who presses his lips on Rye’s mouth. For a split second, Rye doesn’t move while Bourbon kisses him. Then, he returns the kiss in the exact demanding fashion Bourbon likes.

Without letting go of Bourbon’s lips, Rye slips his hands under Bourbon’s shirt and places his hands on his waist. The way Rye moves his fingers on Bourbon’s skin sends shivers down his spine, and he compares his touches to Hiromitsu’s. Does the sensation feel similar? No, Hiromitsu’s touches are more affectionate while Rye doesn’t beat around the bush and makes it clear that he wants more. Hiromitsu and Rye aren’t easy to compare, they excel in different areas and Bourbon likes both Hiromitsu and Rye’s methods to seduce him.

Maybe the reason why Bourbon considers the sex with Rye superior is because it’s a new experience after several years of dating Hiromitsu? Hiromitsu doesn’t bore Rei, not at all. It’s just that Rye’s touches excite Bourbon, as much as he tries to deny it. He can’t keep lying to himself if he’s currently melting in Rye’s touches, even someone as stubborn as Rei has to admit that he isn’t averse to feeling Rye’s fingers all over his body.

So, Bourbon thinks Rye is attractive and knows how to seduce him. He is sexually interested in him, but this doesn’t prove that Bourbon doesn’t love Rye. He needs more time to figure out if he wants to get romantically interested with him too – if that’s not the case, Rei can finally go back to Hiromitsu and stop wasting any more thoughts on Rye. However, if he is interested in Rye as more than a sexual partner, he needs to get rid of his feelings. One thing Rei is sure about is that he doesn’t want to end up with Rye, he wants this cheating chapter of his life to end already. It’s time to turn the page and start writing another chapter which doesn’t contain betrayal on Hiromitsu, a chapter about Furuya Rei focusing on his work again while ditching Rye completely. Rye is not supposed to be endgame, the only lovers Rei is willing to end up with are Hiromitsu and Japan.

And yet, Rye’s kisses feel right despite being so wrong on many different morally questionable levels. The worries that he will hurt Hiromitsu again slowly fade away, just as Bourbon’s judgement of the situation. He gives himself in to Rye, wants to experience the same pleasure he’d felt the first time he slept with Rye. The will to find an answer to his question whether he has feelings for Rye moves to the back of his mind, until Bourbon only lives in the present, not in the future nor the past. It’s just Rye and him now, nobody else.

As Rye fumbles around the hems of Bourbon’s shirt, Bourbon lets go of Rye’s neck and lifts his arms, so his shirt can be taken off. After the fabric is removed, Rye places his lips on Bourbon’s crook of the neck, biting him while his thumb runs over one of Bourbon’s stiff nipples. With his mind drifting off, Bourbon tilts his head to the other side, presenting more space for Rye to suck on and silently asking him to continue what he is doing. He can feel Rye’s grin on his neck as Rye follows suit, sending another rush of lust through Bourbon’s body.

“You are really needy today,” Rye grins once he pulls back and looks Bourbon in the eyes. Immediately afterwards, his hand stops one of Bourbon’s blows from making impact with his face. With a look of sheer amusement on his face, Rye lowers his head next to Bourbon’s ear and whispers with a low voice that gives Bourbon goose bumps. “That’s fine, I know you are only that aroused around me.”

“Shut up, I’m not here to talk,” Bourbon retorts while getting his hand out of Rye’s grip and taking the knit cap off. Once the evidence of Rye’s horrible fashion sense is gone, Bourbon buries his hands in Rye’s long strands and kisses him again. While his hands are busy tugging on Rye’s hair, Rye’s hands unbutton Bourbon’s pants and pull them down. It’s true, Bourbon isn’t here to talk to Rye and bond with him a little bit – no, his sole purpose for being in Rye’s apartment is to be taken by him, no feelings involved.

As soon as Rye undresses Bourbon completely, Bourbon starts fumbling around Rye’s clothes as well. He takes Rye’s shirt off, his fingertips tracing the muscles hidden beneath it while moving the fabric upwards. Once his torso is exposed, Rye heaves Bourbon up and carries him to his bed. Bourbon moans quietly as his erection presses against Rye’s abdomen while his legs are wrapped around his waist. Feeling Rye’s hands supporting his back so he wouldn’t fall over, Bourbon catches Rye in another kiss, each step taking him closer to the place where he wants to fuck Bourbon’s brains out.

Without hesitation, Rye throws Bourbon on his bed. He uses the moment of surprise to fish some lube out of his bedside cabinet before he focuses all of his attention on the person on his bed again. Bourbon glares at Rye for having dumped him on the futon just like that, without a warning. “Bastard.”

“Oh, come on,” Rye climbs on his bed and takes Bourbon’s hands in his, aware that Bourbon will punch him if he doesn’t prevent it. He places his mouth on Bourbon’s crook of the neck again and starts nibbling at it, knowing well how sensitive he is in that area. “You wouldn’t like it if I go easy on you, Bourbon.”

He isn’t wrong, Bourbon has to admit. The roughness is the only reason why he has sex with Rye in the first place. If it wasn’t for the pleasure Rye can award him with by slamming his huge cock inside him, Bourbon wouldn’t even look at Rye, let alone consider cheating on the man he loves.

It’s unusual for Bourbon to become weak. Whenever someone picked on him, he had either beaten them up or - once he became more mature - ignored them, only to excel at his exams as the best student and prove the ones who have bullied him that he deserves to graduate police academy and become a high-ranked NPA agent. Furuya Rei is stubborn and adamant, his pride and love for his country have always managed to make him pull through. He had assumed that there was nothing that could bring him down until Rye stepped into his life. Now, Furuya Rei is a prisoner to his own desires and his lust.

He doesn’t stop Rye when he lubricates his fingers and inserts them inside his ass, and he also doesn’t stop Rye when he thrusts his cock into him, turning Bourbon into a moaning mess screaming for more and more until he reaches his orgasm, feeling even greater than the first time he had sex with Rye.

And- one thing Bourbon also doesn’t stop is to visit Rye every day while Scotch is on his mission outside of Tokyo. With each time he offers his body to Rye, he indulges himself further into lust. This hadn’t been the plan at all, Rei wanted to stop after proving to himself that he didn’t have feelings for Rye. However, despite having convinced himself that he feels nothing but sexual desire during the second time they sleep with each other, he continues to take bites from the forbidden fruit.

As long as Hiromitsu doesn’t know, it’s fine. Hiromitsu can’t be hurt if he doesn’t know who Rei spends his nights with.


When Hiromitsu returns home, he doesn’t notice that something it off at first. He puts his guitar case containing not just his bass, but also a rifle against the wall and greets Rei with a kiss. Then, he looks at the dinner Rei has prepared, knowing that Hiromitsu will be tired when he comes back.

“You’re the best,” Hiromitsu beams and hugs Rei without a warning. Strangely, Rei twitches when Hiromitsu puts his arms around him suddenly, but Hiromitsu tells himself that this is probably just because he didn't see the hug coming.

“Eat the food before complimenting it,” Rei retorts. However, he leans into the hug anyway and Hiromitsu uses this opportunity to kiss his cheek. “I know that it will be good.”

And the meal turns out to be great, just like expected. Despite Rei’s complains that he had planned to leave some leftovers for tomorrow, Hiromitsu eats everything Rei doesn’t place on his plate. During his mission, he hadn’t been able to eat a decent meal, so Rei’s cooking is like the blessing Hiromitsu had waited for the past week. Even though he shakes his head at Hiromitsu’s behavior, Rei can’t hide a smile on his face.

After eating dinner, Hiromitsu goes back to awarding Rei with some attention. Grabbing his wrist, Hiromitsu drags Rei to the bed and lets himself fall on it, Rei being pulled down as well. This time, Rei doesn’t just twitch, he also looks a little bit pained. Nevertheless, Hiromitsu ignores that and embraces Rei, taking in his scent. It strikes him as odd that some smoke is mixed in, but Hiromitsu doesn’t like the direction his thoughts are taking and convinces himself that Korn’s cigarettes must stick to his own clothes.

His denial is shattered into pieces once he notices a hickey on Rei’s neck while he takes Rei’s shirt off. Rei doesn’t seem to be aware of it because the spot is small and also too far on the back for Rei to see inside the mirror, but Hiromitsu can see it clearly. He hadn’t been the one to place it on Rei’s neck, and he’s also not the reason for Rei to twitch at sudden movements. That bastard Rye hadn’t kept his fingers off Rei.

Hiromitsu is upset. His anger toward Rye grows, and so does his disappointment in Rei. However, he doesn’t tell that he’s found out about his activities with Rye during Scotch’s absence. Instead, he keeps holding onto Rei, no matter how many times Rei will keep betraying his trust in him.

Rei is the person Hiromitsu cares about the most, and he wants to keep him as long as there is hope - hope that Rei will stop getting involved with Rye one day, that he will commit himself to Hiromitsu alone again. When that day comes, he will forgive Rei for everything. Until then, he’ll pretend not to notice anything – even though every day he can find a long hair on Rei’s clothes which start smelling more intensely like smoke feels like a bullet sent right through his heart.


Three months pass, and Rei doesn’t stop having sex with Rye on a frequent basis. He stopped calling out Hiromitsu’s nickname while they are at it a long time ago and luckily, he doesn't mix Hiromitsu’s and Rye’s name up while he is sleeping with Hiromitsu, too.

He still has some doubts about cheating on Hiromitsu, but these thoughts have become quieter over time. His relationship with Rye is purely based on sex, they aren’t dating behind Hiromitsu’s back. Rei is aware that getting romantically involved with Rye won’t have a future, so he decides to continue what he is doing until one day, his body will be able to resist him.

This day is not today, because Rye presses him on the backseat of his car, making Bourbon moan in pleasure as Rye kisses him demandingly and rubs the bulge that has formed inside Bourbon’s pants while making out. He pants slightly once Rye pulls away to place some kisses on his neck, teasing Bourbon some more. Bourbon isn’t amused. “Stop making me wait, bastard.”

Of course, Rye doesn’t take orders from anyone and keeps messing around with Bourbon some more. Pissed off, Bourbon turns the tables and heaves himself up, only to sit down on Rye’s lap and kiss him fiercely. While Rye returns the kiss, he places his hands on Bourbon’s ass and pulls him closer, feeling their erections rubbing against each other. Impatiently, Bourbon unbuttons Rye’s pants and lowers them as much as he can in their position. Rye does the same with Bourbon, and once Bourbon stands up to take the fabric off, Rye takes his dick out of his boxers, his boner standing upright and sending another wave of excitement through Bourbon when he imagines that this thing will be inside him soon.

Wanting to speed things up, Bourbon gets rid of his shirt as well before he wraps his arms around Rye’s neck and kisses him hungrily, silently asking him to continue what they are doing. Not having planned on doing anything else, Rye takes some lube out of a net strapped on the back of the driver’s seat and uses it to make his fingers moist enough to slip into Bourbon’s ass easily. Afterwards, he places the tube next to him for a future use and places a finger on Bourbon’s entrance, enjoying the moans he receives once he inserts the first finger.

Bourbon holds on to Rye tightly, his desire for more growing steadily while he deepens the kiss with Rye, not getting enough of the sex which makes him sin over and over again. If Bourbon doesn’t go to hell for the crimes he commits, no matter if they are for a greater good and in the name of justice, he’ll descend to this place for his repeated cheating on a wonderful man who doesn’t deserve all of this behind this back, being clueless about his partner having sex with their mutual colleague. However, Bourbon doesn’t plan on dying so soon and once he does, he’ll gladly drag Rye down with him to keep sinning in a place more fit for their practices.

While adding a second finger inside Bourbon, Rye uses his free hand to take Bourbon’s erection in his hand and starts rubbing. The amount of Bourbon’s moans and gasps multiply, and he has to pull away from Rye’s lips to breathe again.

Now that his sounds aren’t muffled anymore, Rye enjoys listening to the proof telling him that what he’s doing serves its purpose. Bourbon is wax inside his fingers, and he melts in his touches even more as Rye thrusts a third finger inside him, spreading all three of them to prepare Bourbon for what’s about to come. Just to give Bourbon a small teaser, Rye hits his prostate and makes him lose his mind even more. “Stick your fucking dick inside me already, Rye!”

With a grin, Rye lets go of Bourbon’s boner and reaches out for the tube next to him. He hands it to Bourbon, so Bourbon can lubricate Rye’s cock with his hands. Due to the various amounts of times they’d sex already and his ability to pick up on things easily, Bourbon gets the signal and makes sure to cover Rye’s dick with enough lube to ensure that he’ll glide into his ass without a problem.

Thinking that Bourbon’s work is satisfying, Rye pulls his fingers out of him and uses his hands to lift Bourbon up by his hip. Then, he positions his erection on Bourbon’s entrance, some lube getting on his buttcheeks while doing so. With neither Rye nor Bourbon willing to wait any longer, Rye presses Bourbon down, and Bourbon voluntarily lowers himself to let Rye’s dick fill him from the inside. Three fingers being exchanged with a huge cock all of a sudden hurts, but it’s the kind of pain that manages to arouse Bourbon each time he wants Rye to fuck him. The feeling of his insides being stretched by Rye’s manhood has become a familiar pain Bourbon loves to experience.

Not waiting for Bourbon to get accustomed to the change, Rye lifts him up, only to slam him down again, Bourbon’s ass hitting Rye’s balls as he takes in Rye’s full length. Bourbon bends his back, both in pain and pleasure, a two sensations he cannot get enough of when mixed together. His hands are placed on Rye’s shoulders, and he digs his fingernails deep into them, some scratch marks forming on them while Rye repeatedly lifts Bourbon and pushes him down again with force.

Bourbon isn’t able to think clearly, and although he treasures his intelligence a lot, he doesn’t mind losing it whenever Rye fucks him roughly. He’s a mess, and he loves being a mess when it means that Rye thrusts his dick inside his ass, awarding him with pleasure Bourbon has never experienced before his infiltration.

The pain slowly fades, leaving nothing but pure lust behind. Rye speeds up, digging his nails into Bourbon’s ass while shoving his cock into the tight hole. Despite his legs feeling all wobbly, Bourbon supports what Rye is doing and musters up enough strength the move in synch with Rye’s thrusts. Loudly, he moans Rye’s codename over and over again, wanting more, wanting it faster, wanting it harder.

However, the fun doesn’t last that long. Rye’s mobile phone rings suddenly and although he would like to turn it off, Rye is forced to take the call. Using one hand to cover Bourbon’s mouth and muffle his yells, Rye accepts the call and places the mobile right next to his ear. “What is it, Gin? I’m busy.”

Bourbon can’t hear what Gin is answering, and although he would normally be interested in the conversation, he can’t think of anything but Rye’s cock at this moment. He doesn’t know how Rye manages to sound so composed while repeatedly moving his hips to keep fucking Bourbon during a call with another organization member. However, Bourbon can’t really care about that just now, all he wants is to have an orgasm and to feel Rye’s cum filling him from the inside.

“Understood,” Rye keeps his answer short and ends the call afterwards. Then, he pulls out of Bourbon completely and opens the door to get out, pissing Bourbon off in the process. His thoughts might be all over the place, but Bourbon still knows what he wants and he’s currently not getting it. “Hey, bastard. What do you think you’re doing?”

“Get in the passenger’s seat,” Rye simply retorts, closing the door behind him only to open the door belonging to the driver’s seat. “I’ve got a rat to take care of, I’ll give you a handjob while driving.”

Bourbon is not happy to hear that, but he changes his mind once he sits in the passenger’s seat and Rye’s hand moves up- and downward while using his dominant left hand to hold the steering wheel. Leaning back into the cushion, Bourbon closes his eyes and enjoys every single touch. Of course, he would have preferred to be fucked by Rye, but this alternative turns out to be quite good as well. Despite the lack of a dick inside his ass, Bourbon comes with a loud moan.

Rye pulls his hand away and rubs the cum off on his pants before placing it back on the steering wheel. Since his own erection hasn’t died down yet, he demands Bourbon to do something about it as well. “Great, now that you’re done, give me a blowjob.”

“Excuse me?” Bourbon asks, his voice irritated. He doesn’t want Rye to tell him what to do. Unfortunately, Rye knows how to handle Bourbon and grins to himself while bribing him. “I wonder what Hiromi would say to you having cheated on him for three months.”

Bourbon glares at Rye, but eventually obliges and opens his seat belt to move his head to Rye’s lap. Then, he unbuttons Rye’s pants where he’d put his dick back inside after receiving the call. Pulling the erection out of Rye’s boxers, Bourbon places his lips on the tip and takes it into his mouth, sucking on it lightly. If Rye is pleased by what he is doing, he’s definitely good at keeping on a poker face and continue driving without causing an accident.

Despite his former discontent, Bourbon catches himself thinking that he likes having Rye’s dick inside his mouth. It’s huge, and for a second Bourbon wonders how much of it he can take in at once. Closing his eyes, he lowers his head and licks around the shaft, feeling Rye’s blood vessels pulsating under his tongue. Rye might be the most stoic person Bourbon knows, but even his body can’t hide what is turning him on – and it satisfies Bourbon to know that he is the one who has caused Rye’s erection.

Using his hands to rub the lower part of the shaft which doesn’t fit into his mouth, Bourbon continues sucking on Rye’s dick, wanting to be the one that makes him come for once. Usually, Rye reaches his orgasm while he’s thrusting his cock inside Bourbon, so swapping the roles and being the one who actively seduces Rye is a change Bourbon welcomes.

Eventually, Bourbon is content once Rye comes inside his mouth, even though Rye doesn’t make a sound. He knows that Rye liked it, he’s just a good actor to cover up his pleasure. While it pisses Bourbon off that Rye manages to keep his composure more than he does, it also motivates him to strive toward making Rye moan just as much as he does one day.

After parking his car in front of a building, Rye turns the engine off and puts his car keys inside one of his pants pockets. Then, he places his dick back into his boxers and zips his pants up. Once he’s ready to leave, he turns to Bourbon. “Wait here, I’ll finish this quickly and then we can continue where we left off before.”

“Sounds like a deal,” Bourbon returns, grinning mischievously at the nice offer. While the handjob’s great, Rye moving his dick inside him feels even greater and is nothing Bourbon would say ‘no’ to.

A small smirk appears on Rye’s lips as well before he takes a gun, opens the door and leaves Bourbon alone for a few minutes. In the meantime, Bourbon learn back in his seat and thinks about ways to seduce Rye later on. He wants him to lose this stoic behavior, to hear him moan just as much as Bourbon does just to have the satisfaction that Rye isn’t a perfect human being – no, to have the satisfaction that Rye isn’t better than he is.

Suddenly, Rei’s mobile phone vibrates. He takes it in his hand and notices that he’d received a new message just now. Since only a few people have his contact information, he opens the message curiously and almost drops his mobile in shock after reading the contents of it. His eyes wide in shock once realization dawns on him, Rei’s hand starts trembling slightly before he acts on impulse and hastily puts some clothes on to rush out of the car.

Sorry, Rei. They found out that I’m PSB. It seems like I can only flee to the afterlife. See you, Zero.

Rei has to hurry, if his deduction is correct Rye has been ordered to- no, he can’t let that happen. Not to Hiromitsu, not to the person most dear to him in his world.

Guilt washes over Rei as he hurries the staircase up, trying to reach the rooftop in time. He feels sick, and all the cheating suddenly weights down on him, causing his insides to twist.

PS: Will you marry me once we’ll meet each other again?