When my phone first buzzed I was expecting a text from a friend telling me she was available for lunch.
Instead, I get a photo of a cock.
And not just any cock.
It’s long and elegant.
Well veined and very very erect.
Elegant, I know it’s a strange word to use for a cock but for this one it’s accurate.
I think back to my own husband’s package and wish his looked more like this.
After looking at it for a moment I begin to text back.
‘I’m sorry I think you have the-‘
but then I stop.
What else can I get from this stranger?
Who is he?
I feel positively sinful as I type out my next sentence.
‘I’d love to see more big boy.’
I jump as the words are followed by a kiss on the cheek.
Speaking of which my cheeks are red hot and pink.
Thankfully I was able to place my phone down screen first on the table before Bill walked in.
“Hi dear, how was work? You’re home early.”
“Yeah, I thought I’d use my lunch break to come and see you and the kiddos!” Bill says as he hangs up his coat.
My phone buzzes.
“Who’s that?” He asks with a smile.
“Oh,” I look at my phone discreetly, “Just Joanne, we’re trying to arrange a playdate.”
He gives me his ‘aw my sweet little wife’ look and I smile back.
I wait until he walks out of the room to actually read the text.
The next picture is the very same cock but this time equally long and elegant hands are holding it.
I am more turned on than I’ve been in a long time.
The text with the picture reads: “When’s your lunch break?”
This makes me freeze.
I begin to wonder who this is.
As I look through my contacts I realize who it is.
As in Dana’s Mulder.
Instead of feeling horrified I feel even more turned on.
I don’t answer.
I hear Bill in the other room greeting the children.
As I lead Bill into the bedroom I picture the beautiful erection from the photos.
I picture Fox Mulder.
And I curse my sister in law.