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The not so incredibles

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Pietro Barton-Maximoff was cooking dinner as he waited for his husband Clint to get home from his job. He was setting the table when one of his sons came running downstairs yet stopped, took in a deep breath and seem to at least want to appear calm for Pietro as he entered the kitchen. "Dad?" "What is it Billy?" Pietro asked as he looked at the black haired boy with a raised eyebrow. "Tommy took my PS controller again and you know I literally can't catch him." Pietro smiled lightly at that. This happened really often, the twins teased each other a lot which was really not unusual for siblings. It reminded him a bit of himself and Wanda when they were young, his sister never caught him either. "Wait a second." Literally a bit less then second late the male was back with the controller that he handed to Billy. "Here Billy, next time your brother WILL BE GROUNDED IF HE USES HIS POWERS SO RECKLESSLY!" Yes, he shouted the last part but he needed to be stern, they were literally doing something illegal. Just a moment later Pietro heard the front door open and a familiar voice ring through the house. "Hey guys, I'm back." Piero turned towards the main door and smiled at his husband happily.

Clint was an unusual super and person all together but it was the precise nature of Clint's powers that originally got Pietro interested in him. When most superheroes had powers like super strength, energy blast, stretching themselves, creating Shields, no power has been as precise in its nature as Clint's: Creating an energy bow and arrows. Maybe it was originally because it's reminded Pietro of his ex boyfriend, a thief that super charged gaming cards but he and the archer on steroids are now married so who actually cared? Clint loosened his tie as he walked over to Pietro slowly, kissing him at once and the speedster could feel the taller man's hands squeezing his ass (I'm using heights from the marvel database as is has a hight for everyone including characters that have not been in the movies yet, making Clint 6'3 and Pietro 6'). When they broke apart Pietro gave one of his signature cocky smiles as he put his arms around Clint's neck so he couldn't escape.

"Well I know what you want to do after dinner~" Clint smiled at the speedster words before the two kissed again but as they broke apart Pietro libido immediately went out the window as Clint started talking— well, rant. "Can you believe they make me work in a cubicle! I was Hawkeye! I should save people, not count numbers!" Pietro moved away from Clint, taking the soup off the stove. This wasn't fun anymore. "And now you're just you Clint. I'm really not having this conversation again. You only have this job because you burned us in the last town." The archer rolled his eyes. "But-" Pietro grabbed onto the other man's collar. "No but's Clint Barton, we're parents now. We could both fuck with the laws before but we can't go to jail now. I'm not leaving the kids. So you will sit tight, shut up and endure this shit." With that the mad speedster decided to call the kids down for dinner, leaving his husband scared and a bit turned on.

~~~~~~~~ 10 minutes later ~~~~~~~~~

The family was soon sited around the dinner table, the twins across from Pietro and Clint as Pietro poured soup for everyone. "Soooooooooooooo how's the new school?" Tommy just sighed loudly in annoyance as Billy decided to answer first. "I actually got a friend. His name's Teddy, he's one year older then me and plays on the football team." Pietro smiled at the reality warper thankfully. "Tommy?" The white haired male rolled his eyes but answered anyways. "There's this hot guy in my chemistry class, I had a thing for his friend Kate for a while and that's how we met. He's a total nerd which I love but there's no use trying for a relationship if we're moving soon." Pietro looked at Clint as if this was proving his point, which is kinda was. "We're not moving, don't worry." "Sureeeeeeeee." The white haired male said as he leaned on his right hand and started eating. The rest of the dinner was awkwardly quiet except for Billy trying to talk from time to time which Pietro appreciative.

About 30 minutes later Tommy was laying on his back in his bed, looking at the fluorescent stars the previous owners put on the ceiling, probably a teen girl or something. After a while he felt a weight laying down next to him and smiled a little bit. "Hi dad." "Hi" Pietro answered. "Are you ok?" The teen just laughed at that. "We moved 10 times already." "He's trying." "I know but I think I made some friends and I don't want to lose them again. I'm afraid to hang out with them after school because I might like them too much and then we move." The older male hugged the younger close to his chest as he kissed the top of his head. "I promise I'll try to keep us here and let's be fair, two out of those ten times were my fault." Tommy laughed against his dad's chest. "Dad, let me go." The voice was muffed against Pietro's chest but clear enough to understand. "Alright but you're going to ask that guy on a date." "Fineeeee." The teen whined as Pietro smiled and got up. "Also Kate was to good for you anyways." Tommy glared at his dad as the other left his room.

~~~~~~~ About 40 minutes later~~~~~~~~

Pietro laid down in bed next to his husband and sighed deeply. "You know we can't fuck it up again, right?" Clint nods. "Ye, I know." Despite that the next morning they got a visitor that would turn their life upside down.

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Despite Pietro believing yesterday was a step forward in them becoming more "normal" Clint still couldn't help but be a bit uneasy. It's has been 7 years since superheroes have become illegal and he still blamed himself to an extent. The last nail in the coffin when it came to supers becoming illegal was partly Clint's fault, both Pietro as well as Clint's friends Natasha and Bucky said he, Tony, Thor, Carol and Steve were doing the most stupid thing ever by attacking the alien army openly. They didn't listen and half his team died but not only that they also destroyed half of New York. That day per usual Pietro asked his sister and her husband to get the bystanders out as his team tried to fix their fuck up. In the end it was Pietro, Natasha, Bucky and Loki whom stopped the invasion and saved the world. Afterwards it took Clint a long time, over a year, to get Pietro to even think about forgiving him, why so long you may wonder?

Well Clint indirectly hurt Pietro, during the carnegie Wanda Maximoff died. Yes, her brother has always had a faster reaction time, didn't he? Clint thinks Pietro blamed himself more then him for her death because he sent her out to help the people so of course the fast idiot thought it was his fault. Of course, her death wasn't the only downside. This accident left Vision with his and Wanda's kids on his own, so obviously Pietro moved in with the three of them to help the other male out. In the end, despite the accident they were still married during that year so after resolving his own problems Pietro came back to solve Clint's newfound alcoholism. It took time and a lot of sarcasm but they did it. They fixed their relationship though it was never quite the same.

Clint was snapped out of his thoughts when he heard the doorbell ring and quickly looked towards the door. The archer got up and opened the door only to be met by a handsome dark haired male with black eyes that had red irises. Red eyes? That seemed a bit familiar to Clint.

"Greetings, I'm Remy LeBeau. I am here to ask you this: do you want to be a superhero again?"

Clint almost slapped a hand over the other man's mouth so that Pietro wouldn't hear that from his current spot in the kitchen. Clint looked inside, making sure Pietro hasn't heard what the shorter male said and closed the door so they both would be on the outside. "Be quite, my husband will kick you out if he hear anything about hero's." The man seemed a bit confused but more or less kept his neutral expression. "My boss has not mentioned a husband." Clint laughed nervous. "Well they should have, anyways what do you mean by: being a super again?" Clint asked, his exatment levels addmittingly rising. "That is not a convention to have outside, you never know who's listening. May I come inside? I shall not mention superheroes, just a new job as I believe you got fired?" Clint gulped, indeed he got fired yet he didn't have the nerve to admit it to Pietro yet, he said he had two week "off" work but those weeks were running out and Pietro was getting a bit suspicious. "Alright but don't mention that I got fired." The man nodded as the two entered the house together. "Clint?" Pietro called out, a bit worried. "It's ok, we're having a gust but he'll be out soon."

Of course, Pietro being curious as he was walked into the living room at once but stopped in his tracks. "Remy?" The black eyed man immidetly got a smile on his face, not the somewhat fake one he had before just an genuine one. The man walked up to the white haired male and kissed his hand. "Mon Cher, I thought I would never see you again." The white haired male frowned a little bit and took his hand away. "Well you should have not cheated on me." That got the light bulb over Clint's head going. "This is the guy you dated before me?" Pietro nodded as the other guy took his hand again. "I have regretted my mistake ever since Pietro." Pietro just smirked. "No you didn't, you just want to stay for dinner don't you?" Remy seemed to just go along with the statement and nodded. "I thought I'll see if the student has become the master."

Just ten minutes later the three were in the kitchen, Ramy helping Pietro out in the cooking as Clint read the business card he was given in annoyance. Being a privet hero? The only information he got was he was supposed to destroy some robot: Omnidroid? Ye something like that. It was a bit tempting but Remy flirting with his husband certainly didn't help his case. "Remember when the whole X-factor got svermed by your cats." "You were so uptight back then and decided you will throw the cats out. One by one, out the window. " The two talked about more situations Clint has only heard about in passing before until a certain question popped up. "So how's Rouge?" "You know we didn't work out." "Oh why's th-" The door slammed open as Tommy ran inside, luckily in human speed. "Dad I got a date!" Pietro smiled. "That's awesome!" Pietro hugged the smaller speedster, both of them were always so full of entergy either Clint or Billy could keep up. Speaking of the devil Billy walked in and put his bag by the entrance before sitting down with Clint. "How was school?" "Cool, I got the best grade in my class in Chemistry." Clint smiled. "A deal is a Deal" He threw 10 dollars the dark haired teen and he caught it. "Thanks Arrow man." "Not you too." The reality warper smiled before turning to the kitchen. "Who's that?" "Your dad's ex." Tommy who was now with them made a face. "ow, that has to hurt." Clint just frowned as he looked at the two. Was his pride hurt? Yes. Was he going to give up being a hero again because of it? No.

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The next day Clint decided that he should probably visit an old friend of his in hopes she won't tell Pietro about him needing a new supersuit for.......reasons— ye he took the bloody job, don't judge him. It felt weird to admit it but the old costume was too small, it wasn't even because he got fatter or anything, he still trained regularly which build up his muscle mass even more and it was too tight now, on his legs mostly.

That one was probably because Pietro convinced him that running five kilometres at least three times a week was a great idea. I mean it was a great idea for you're health but it was torture for everything else, and Pietro ran an additional seven kilometres each time! To be more exact he ran twelve kilometres every day, without Superspeed too. That was probably because he didn't have time to run in the morning without using Superspeed so he lumped two running sessions together and if Pietro was anything, he was a ball of energy even after a day of work and making dinner. Clint would never get it but he imagined not using their powers was more difficult for Pietro then it was for him. Pietro's brain still ran faster then anyone else's in the world yet his body wasn't allowed to move as fast as his mind, for the twins sake. So of course Clint felt like a dick for doing this but he wanted to help people, like old times.

Anyway, back to the story. Clint drove up to a gaiet silver gate on his motorcycles and click a bottom that made the small screen on the side of said button turne on. A red haired woman appeared on the screen with pizza in he mouth and her hair a bit of a mess. "Do not judge me." Clint quickly put his arms up in defence. "I didn't say anything." "You thought it. Anyways what is it? I don't see you pretty husband with you so it has to something bad." The archer looked to the side awkwardly. "Um I may need a new costume for reasons." The woman smiled. "Say no more." Just like that the gate opened and Clint drowe inside without a moment habitation.

Clint parked his motorcycle and walked inside only to see Natasha, now in a pair of tight pants, a red v neck t shirt and high heels. "You dress to impress, don't you?" "What can I say, I enjoy being seen when I'm not stealing top secret information." Clint laughed lightly at that, it was classic Romanoff. "So what do you need Clint?" The male rubbed his neck awkwardly. "Um mm, a new supersuit?" The redhead frowned but Clint could swear that there was a twinkle on her eyes as he said that. "What does Pietro think of this?" Clint gulped. "Um mm, he....doesn't know....?" Natasha frowned again. "Fine but if his mad it's you his ripping into shreds, not me." You see agains popular belief their is something Natasha Romanoff is afraid off, an angry mother, and Pietro Barton-Maximoff had a lot of motherly qualities despite being male. He also had similar looks to his sister whom may or may not have scared Natasha in the past. Still Clint smiled and within ten minutes had his suit. "How did you-" "Clint this was as painfully inevitable as Pietro finding out about this is." "He won't-" "He will." Clint blood ran cold, ye his husband would probably find out which terrified him, Pietro could be scaaaaaary. Not to mention him finding out migh meam divorce.