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“You are such a little shit.”

Harry had barely stepped into the backseat of the black Escalade - tumbled, more like - before Louis’ voice was already delightedly scolding him.

“Here,” Louis shoved his phone into Harry’s hands, “You look,” he said, wrapping his arms around Harry’s neck and pulling him close to nibble at his pulse point.

“Can hardly focus with you doing that, Lou,” Harry tried, and failed, to fight back a moan; which only served to make Louis giggle and continue with even more vigor. Harry was certain at times, that he was engaged to a baby vampire. He knew with the rate Louis was going, it’d be more high collared black shirts for the next few nights. He winced at the thought of the summer heat and scratchy collar, and at the particular harsh bite Louis implemented on a previously fading bruise.

“They’re proper pissed at you, love,” Louis pressed his nose against Harry’s jaw, “Mmm. You smell good.”

Harry wrinkled his nose, “I smell like sweat Lou. ‘s gross.”

“Not gross,” Louis protested, giving Harry’s pulse point an eskimo kiss, making Harry giggle and squirm to try to shoulder him off, “Just look at what they’re saying. They’re proper ready to square up and fight you.”

Harry pulled up Twitter on Louis’ phone and scrolled through some of what was being said. Lots of memes, lots of posts about him being a scammer, a little shit, a menace, and a dirty liar. It wasn’t really his fault though. He had had every intention to perform, “Still The One” at the end of the setlist, but that was before they’d gotten Louis set up in the private VIP box and before they’d fooled around in said private VIP box before Jeff had come looking for him, scolding him and telling them that they needed to ‘break it up’ and Harry needed to ‘get his ass ready.’ Harry had made a joke about prepping that Jeffry had not found nearly as amusing as Harry and Louis had.

So, Harry had left Louis to his private VIP box and had returned to his last minute responsibilities. But as much as he’d tried to remain focused, Louis had him completely wound up. He just couldn’t take his mind off the boy in the VIP box, and what exactly they were going to do to one another as soon as the show had ended. He tried his hardest to distract himself, to kick Mitch’s ass at ping pong and to terrorize Clare by chasing her around with a cracker topped with a particularly foul smelling cheese from the backstage spread. But nothing took his mind off of Louis.

It wasn’t as if they had gone a particular long time apart; but the time they had had together was filled mostly with stunts and Louis had come back to the hotel smelling of her perfume and her brand of cigarettes and it had driven Harry slightly insane - just slightly. Louis wasn’t the only one who could turn into a possessive vampire at times. But there was something about Louis in that VIP box tonight of all nights, staring down at him and watching his every move that was getting him especially hot and bothered, and that had lead him to announce that he needed to speed up the last of the show.

“That desperate for it, eh?” Mitch had asked.

“As if you’re one to talk,” Harry had raised a pointed eyebrow at the fact that Sarah was currently perched in his lap with his arms wrapped around her. That shut him up.

So it hadn’t been totally Harry’s fault that he’d needed to cut the show short. And it was a good thing he did too, because while Louis had been nothing more than a shadow in that VIP box, Harry could still make out his figure, could still feel his heated gaze on him the entire show, making him blush and his insides turn to jello.

Harry couldn’t help but smirk as he skimmed through his Twitter feed.

“I AM GOING TO KICK HIS FROG ASS.”

“I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO BETRAYED IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.”

“KERMIT BETTER SQUARE THE FUCK UP.”

“He’s a member of One Direction. I should be used to being disappointed and lied to.”

“I AM NEVER TRUSTING ANYONE EVER AGAIN.”

“YOU JUST KNOW HE RUSHED OFF STAGE TO GET HIS ASS EATEN BY LOUIS.”

“Jesus,” Harry chuckled, continuing to scroll through the countless rage tweets aimed lovingly - or at least he hoped lovingly - at him.

“Told you,” Louis giggled, nipping at Harry’s shoulder blade, “You’ve angered them.”

“This is the most entertaining thing,” Harry couldn’t fight the smile that was spreading across his face, “Possibly even more so than the time I cut my hair and just posted the pic of the braid.”

Louis fondly tucked his fingers into the curls at the nape of Harry’s neck, giving a soft tug, “Now that was something. They were all losing their shit and you? What were you doing?”

“Lou….”

“Taking a bubble bath and sipping our strawberry champagne like the absolute little shit that you are!” Louis wrapped his arms around Harry, playfully squeezing him as hard as he could, making Harry squeak and smack at him, trying to free himself.

“I just wanted to relax.”

“And enjoy the chaos.”

Harry rolled his eyes, “And enjoy the chaos.” It was true, even if he would hold off on admitting it. He lived for the chaos, enjoyed watching the fandom implode on itself all because of something he said or did. Louis wasn’t the only one who enjoyed teasing them and driving them all into complete madness.

“Such a little brat, H,” Louis scolded.

Harry bit his lip, locking the phone, placing it in the cupholder of the car door, Twitter and fandom meltdown be damned because Louis was using that tone, that tone that he knew made Harry putty in his hands; that tone that he’d mastered perfectly over the last eight amazing years; that tone that said: mine.

“Fuck, Lou….” Harry pinkened at the way his voice sounded so broken already, and they had barely even done anything, barely even gotten started.

Louis wrapped his arms around Harry’s neck, pressing up right against his ear and whispering, “And you and I both know what happens to little brats - right, H?” Louis punctuated the question by biting down on Harry’s earlobe, making him keen against the seat of the car.

“Lou….”

Harry was so painfully turned on already, mind already in a fog of nothing but Louis, that he didn’t even register Louis reaching across him to pluck the phone out of the cupholder.

“But that’s when we get to the hotel,” Louis smirked, flicking through the phone, “And we’ve still got a ten minute car ride. Besides,” he giggled, pulling up the little blue app, “We both know Tumblr is where the best shit posts are. Oh fuck, H, they’re really letting you have it on here.”

Harry groaned, flopping back against the seat, letting his head loll against the headrest frustratedly before he glared down into his lap and enterally willed himself to calm down.

“Look at this one,” Louis giggled again, smacking Harry’s arm and shoving the phone into his face, “Someone made an unamused meme of your face on Dora the Explorer’s face looking completely fed up. Ooh, and this one! This one says you’re probably just sitting back watching everyone freak out, living for the mess you’ve caused.”

“I mean…..” Harry couldn’t help the lazy smile that crossed his face, “They aren’t wrong.”

“Someone just threatened to beat your ass, but with a pillow because you’re sweet.”

“Don’t suppose you’re gonna be that merciful tonight, eh?”

Louis pinched his hip, making him giggle as he said, “Now, you and I both know better than that, H.”

“Someone posted a picture of Kermit flying through the air with the caption: Mood.”

“God,” Louis covered his mouth with his hand in the way he did when he giggled particularly hard, “How do they even come up with this stuff? They truly amaze me. Here,” Louis handed the phone off to Harry, “You keep scrolling through. I think there’s a few spots I’ve missed.” He tangled himself back against Harry, nipping along his jaw, his neck, his shoulder blades as Harry tried to focus on the Tumblr dash and not the strain of his trousers and the glances of the driver’s eyes in the rear-view mirror.

“Gonna get your for that, you know,” Harry said, not lifting his eyes from the dashboard of the app.

“Oh really now? That so?”

“Mmhmm. Oh, someone just posted that I’m probably scrolling through the freak out while you mark me up in the backseat of our ride.”

“They know us too well,” Louis cooed fondly.

“I’m gonna have to make this up to them big time, aren’t I?”

“Mmhmm. Maybe finally release Medicine, eh?”

“Hey now,” Harry grinned, “Let’s not get too carried away. We don’t want to spoil them completely rotten, do we?”

“When did we start talking about them like they’re our kids?”

“Probably about the same time you decided you wanted to adopt them all,” Harry tapped Louis on the nose, “Some of them are older than you and you coo over them like they’re your babies.”

“Says the literal baby,” Louis nudged up to press his nose against Harry’s, “Baby.”

The black Escalade pulled into the secluded parking of the hotel, and Harry locked the phone and passed it back to Louis.

“Let them freak out and lose their shit,” He said, hoping out of the car after the driver came around to open his door, “I’ve gotten other priorities.”

“Oh yeah?” Louis hip checked him as they walked to the entrance, “And what are those?”

“Oh, just you….and me….alone in our hotel room….all night.”

Louis couldn’t hide the fond in his voice, “Such an absolute brat.”

“And you and I both know what happens to brats, right?” Harry grinned mischievously.

Louis chuckled, shaking his head, “Such a handful. How do I even put up with you, eh?”

Harry playfully batted his lashes, making Louis pounce onto his back, wrapping his arms and legs around him as Harry carried him towards the private elevators, “I’ll figure out how to make it up to them tomorrow. For now though,” Harry knelt down so that Louis could slip off his back, “I believe I was promised something for being ‘such a brat.’”

The elevator pinged and the two brass doors slid open as the two stumbled inside. As soon as the doors closed, Louis hooked his finger through Harry’s belt loop, pulling him against him, making them both gasp, “You and your damn priorities, H.”

Harry simply giggled, nipping at one of the bruises on Louis’ own collarbones, “You love it.”

“Fuck yes,” Louis let his head fall against the wall of the elevator, “But the fandom?”

“They can have their meltdowns and memes tonight. They know I love them. But I have to say, I do love eating you out more. Which is all I’ve been able to think about since getting on that damn stage tonight.”

“Fuck, H.”

“You’re the one who decided to go to Firefly with shorts with lettering printed on the ass.”

Louis couldn’t help but smirk, “This is true.”

The elevator doors opened and the two made their way down the hall to their suite, bumping into each other and giggling, shoving each other into the walls of the hallway, tickling at one another, and just overall being little menaces in love.

When they made it to their room, Louis dug the keycard from his pocket and pulled Harry into their suite after him. It wasn’t long before the two were stripping each other from their clothes, tripping over discarded clothing and unable to keep their hands off one another. As Louis was about to pull down his own jeans, he dug his hand into this pocket and held up his phone with a mischievous smile on his face.

“Sure you don’t want to check in on Tumblr one more time first?” He teased.

Harry grabbed the phone from his hands, tossing it to the side and pinning Louis to the bed with a growl.

Priorities.