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Simpson Lied

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Homer was really looking forward to the barbecue he promised himself. It was the only part of this God-forsaken outing that he looked forward too. Marge had been planning this trip for two weeks, waiting for the vacation time Mr. Burns was legally obligated to give Homer every 18 months. Homer knew all too well what that meant. Bart driving him crazy, Lisa boring him to tears and Marge being too busy with the little poop machine to pay him any attention. Homer's only comfort was that a trip to the beach would mean a chance to use his new grill and have some barbecue. It was the only reason he agreed to this trip. That's why he was strangling Bart with all his might after the little scamp had accidentally destroyed it.

"Why you little!" Homer shouted as Bart gasped for air.

Marge and Lisa were watching to scene unfold from the safety of the umbrella they were under.

"Lisa." Marge said. "Why don't you go try to find some sand dollars?"

"Ok." Lisa said. She knew that Marge just didn't want her to see Homer and Bart make fools of themselves like they always do but she didn't say anything. Besides, looking for wildlife seemed like a much better use of her time than watching Homer and Bart argue.

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Lisa had spent the next few hours looking for sand dollars and shellfish but found nothing. The toxic waste Springfield produces hourly must have killed them all off. Depressed by that thought, Lisa sat on the shore, letting the waves lap at her feet. It didn't take her to long to notice a strange smell in her nostrils. It took her about a minute but once Lisa recognized the smell, she became deeply unnerved.

It was blood.

Lisa frantically searched the beach for the source of the smell, the several possibilities of what it could be filling her mind. Was it a beached whale or maybe a fellow beach goer who had cut themselves on a sharp seashell. Lisa was not expecting the limp naked body of a young woman laying on the beach. She was bleeding from her head and had pink hair and white skin.

"MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!"

Lisa's family came rushing over.

"What's wrong swee-OH MY GOODNESS!!"

"Aye Caramba!" Bart said. "Lisa found a dead body!"

"She's not dead Bart!" Lisa countered. "She's still breathing!"

"And moving!" Homer shouted.

Sure enough, the girl was beginning to stir. As she got up, Marge covered Bart's eyes to keep him from seeing her state of undress. The girl opened her eyes with pupils as pink as her hair and stared at the Simpson family for the next few minutes.

"Nyu?" She finally said.

"What's she saying?" Bart whispered to Homer.

"I don't know. I don't speak freak."

"Homer!" Marge shouted.

The girl approached the family and poked Homer's belly, causing him to giggle.

"Lisa, cover your brother's eyes while I get a towel." Lisa did as her mother asked and after about a minute, Marge came back with two towels. A hand towel which she used to clean the blood off the girl's head and a beach towel which she wrapped the girl in to cover her body.

"Homer. I think we need to take this girl to the hospital."

"Whoo-hoo! No more family outing!" Homer's joy was shorted lived as he saw the looks on his wife and kid's faces.

"I mean oh no. Our outing is ruined." He said in a forced voice. His family's looks remained the same.

"Do'h!"