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Genius is Common Sense Dressed in its Working Clothes

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Yoko is struggling out of his shirt when Maru sidles up to him.

"Say, Yoko, did something happen with Eiko-chan?" he asks quietly.

Yoko thinks back to when he last saw their wardrobe assistant and shrugs. "Not that I know of. Why?" Maru's eyes follow the shirt as Yoko throws it over the back seat of the couch.

"No, I mean did something happen between the two of you?" and it is only then that Yoko notices the you-can-tell-me-I'm-not-judging tone of Maru's voice.

Yoko blinks. "No."

"Really?" Maru's eyes are very big.

"No! What, why are you asking? I have nothing to do with her! Who told you that?"

"Your shirt," Subaru says. Yoko whirls around and finds his band mates' full attention focused on him.

"What?"

"Your shirt," Ohkura repeats helpfully.

"Go apologize." Ryo scowls at him. If Yoko hadn't known him when Ryo still believed in the tooth fairy, he'd probably be intimidated.

"But I didn't do anything!"

"Aha!" Subaru yells. "Negligence!"

"Shut up!" Yoko yells back. "We're not dating!"

"Maybe that's the problem?" Ohkura muses. "Did she confess? Did you tell her you can't date her? Did you say she's too old for you?"

Yasu gasps. "Yuu-chin!"

"She's only forty-two!" Maru shakes his head in disappointment.

Yoko flails a bit. "There was no confession! There was nothing! Everything is normal!"

"Then why would she make you wear that?" Ohkura points at the red and white polka dotted mess that is Yoko's shirt.

"What is wrong with the shirt?!" Yoko shouts.

Ohkura wails. Yasu pats his shoulder comfortingly.

Yoko ignores them. "It's cute! Totally cute! And fashionable!"

Maru takes a step back. "Yoko-cho..."

"And I look good in it! I look ten years younger!"

"Wait," says Hina, and Yoko keeps on shouting and ignores him, too, but Hina just repeats himself loudly until Yoko is done. "Wait a moment. Are you saying you chose the shirt yourself?"

"Yes!"

Silence. Then,

"I quit!" Subaru shrieks.

"Now, now," Hina says.

"Disband! Dismemberment!"

"SINCE WHEN DO YOU CARE ABOUT WHAT I WEAR!"

"I CAN'T WORK WITH SOMEONE WHO CHOOSES TO LOOK LIKE A MUSHROOM!"

"STOP SHOUTING!" Hina shouts and hits them both.

"Look, Yoko," Maru says and puts an arm around Yoko's shoulders. "I know you're under a lot of pressure right now and things aren't—"

"Yes, yes, I get it!" Yoko worms his way out from underneath Maru's appendages. "I will not wear the shirt again. Happy?"

"Really?" A hopeful smile forms on Ohkura's face.

Yoko sighs. "Yeah, really."

"Yoko-cho!" Maru sobs as he tackles him, and Hina announces a group hug that is promptly executed.

"Don't ever do something like this again, yeah?" Ryo's voice sounds somewhat horse as it floats up from around Yoko's right shoulder blade, and Subaru tells his kidney that "You really scared me there."

Yoko says, "Maru, stop groping my butt."

 

(On his way home half an hour later, Yoko overhears Yasu contemplating loudly whether he should buy the polka dot shirt and Subaru saying he would look great in it. Right as Yoko opens his mouth to point out the glaring unfairness and state his disappointment at the shameless favouritism going on, he realises that that particular discussion would keep him away from the new chapter of One Piece for at least another hour, so he closes his mouth again and leaves the dressing room quietly with as much dignity as he can muster. Really, some things are not worth it.)