the void, 8:35 p.m.
gretch-is-fetch: guys, why isn't karen in this gc?
gaymian: the pure one must be protected
gaymian: calm down caddy we all know you were corrupted junior year
gaymian: there's no going back from that
why-its-janis: why am i getting notifs at 8 pm
apexpredator: ALRIGHT WHO CHANGED MY NAME
apexpredator: Also, my bad Gretch. I forgot to add Karen.
gaymian: this tea is piping
caddyheron: guys stop!! regina's working on her bitchiness
gaymian: caddy!! language!
caddyheron: oh so JANIS can curse but when i do it im "being too loud" and "disrupting lunch"???
apexpredator has added karen-the-sexy-mouse
karen-the-sexy-mouse: hi every1 !!!
why-its-janis: hi karen! :)
gaymian: a soft janis appears
caddyheron: does janis sarkisian is soft???
why-its-janis: im NOT SOFT,,,
why-its-janis: N O
gaymian: its ok janis we all knew u were secretly soft from the beginning
apexpredator: IS NO ONE GOING TO TELL ME WHO CHANGED MY NAME
why-its-janis: whoops it was me
why-its-janis: IM SORRY
gaymian: janis apologized to regina??? she really IS turning soft
why-its-janis: OH MY GOD,,
why-its-janis: this is homophobia
why-its-janis: THIS IS A HATE CRIME
caddyheron: whoa there buddy
why-its-janis: caddy. put down ur phone right now, look me in the eye, and honestly tell me you genuinely think im soft (without laughing),,, and THEN i will believe u
apexpredator: Wait, you two are with each other right now?
why-its-janis: if by "with each other" you mean "in the same room", then yes
apexpredator: Then why aren't you just talking in person?
gaymian: regina's use of capitalization and proper punctuation is taking years off my lifespan
apexpredator: Well I'm sorry I'm the only distinguished member of this godforsaken group chat, Damian. We can't all be disasters.
caddyheron: OH SHOOT
apexpredator: But seriously, why are Cady and Janis just texting here when they could be talking in person?
caddyheron: don't question our methods
gaymian: and what exactly ARE your methods??
why-its-janis: caddy JUST SAID not to question them,,,,, and whAT DID YOU DO
gaymian: i... questioned them
why-its-janis: you had ONE JOB
why-its-janis: wha t
why-its-janis: wait where are you??
caddyheron: whatever do u mean
why-its-janis: CADY!! ???
gaymian: oof she used her proper name
gretch-is-fetch: wait what's going on?
why-its-janis: cady left the room or smthg and now im running around my house trying to find her???
why-its-janis: cady if you dont come out im never hugging you again
caddyheron: IM BI
gaymian: we know honey you remind us every day
gretch-is-fetch: did you find her???
caddyheron: i can hear u running around and frantically opening cabinets
caddyheron: your boots are so loud
apexpredator: Janis wears shoes inside her own house?
gaymian: she doesn't understand basic etiquette even in her own home
why-its-janis: shut up damian
caddyheron: JANIS DID YOU JUST FALL
gretch-is-fetch: oh my g od
caddyheron: y'all it sounded like she fell down the stairs
apexpredator: Go help her?!! Cady what the heck?
caddyheron: IM COMMITTED TO THE GAME BUT IM SCARED SHE GOT HURT
gaymian: he l p h e r
caddyheron: OK OK
gretch-is-fetch: the fact that it took her that long to decide whether or not to help janis highkey worries me??
gaymian: i told you guys,, she's corrupted
gaymian: caddy is janis ok
caddyheron: turns out she DID fall down the stairs
caddyheron: so now im looking for the bandaids
why-its-janis: caddy im never inviting u over again
gaymian: oh my god
caddyheron: IM SORRY!!! <3
apexpredator: Put down your phones and TALK TO EACH OTHER!
gaymian: says regina
apexpredator: Oh, shut up.
apexpredator: But really, is Janis okay?
gaymian: does regina is soft
gretch-is-fetch: DOES REGINA IS SOFT
caddyheron: D O E S R E G I N A I S S O F T
why-its-janis: wow regina worrying abt me??? i never thought id see the day,,,
apexpredator: You all know I love you guys, stop acting like it's shocking.
gretch-is-fetch: hhhhHH FREAKINF SCREENSHOTTED
gaymian: this is truly monumental
apexpredator: You're all idiots.
caddyheron: there she is!!!
why-its-janis: why in the na me of GO D
why-its-janis: are you using HELLO KITTY BA NDAID S
gaymian: oh my god
caddyheron: shush theyre cute
why-its-janis: first i fall down a flight of stairs,,
why-its-janis: THEN my friend uses childrens bandaids to patch me up
why-its-janis: cady youre lucky i havent rescinded your hugging rights
caddyheron: THE BANDAIDS ARE CUTE JANIS
why-its-janis: NO THEYRE NOT
apexpredator: Trouble in paradise?
caddyheron: JANIS JUST CHOKED ON HER DRINK
gaymian: regina hhsgsjbs
why-its-janis: CADY ANF I ARE JUSR FRIENDS
gaymian: they're "jusr friends" guys
why-its-janis: FRICK YOU DAMIAN
why-its-janis: im sorry,,
apexpredator: Janis with anyone else in this group chat: *curses profusely*
Janis with Damian, Cady, and Karen: *struggles to merely insult them*
why-its-janis: stOP CALLING ME OUT
karen-the-sexy-mouse: wait are janis and cady dating??? ??
gaymian: a wild karen appears
gaymian: cady's oddly silent
why-its-janis: its bc shes putting a bandaid on my knee
apexpredator: Janis you're really not making things easier for yourself here.
caddyheron: janis is all fixed up now!
why-its-janis: yeah with freaking GODAWFUL BANDAIDS
gaymian: my new lockscreen!
gretch-is-fetch: saved to camera roll!!
why-its-janis: CADY WHY
gretch-is-fetch: SHE USED THE PROPER NAME!!!
caddyheron: janis you look f i n e chill out
gaymian: lesbian activity
why-its-janis: damian i am going to KILL YOU TOMORROW
gaymian: oh no im so scared,,,
why-its-janis: caddy i hope u know you owe me SO HARD for everything thats gone down today
apexpredator: I'm just reading all of this with a bowl of popcorn and honestly, it's better than most of the reality TV shows I watch.
caddyheron: sorry jan,,, how will i ever repay u
apexpredator: I used to call her that in fifth grade.
caddyheron: idk i just feel like she needs a nickname?? bc she calls me caddy all the time???
why-its-janis: you can start by never calling me "jan" again
gaymian: OH SHOOT
why-its-janis: and work your way up by complementing me constantly :)
caddyheron: but i already do that??
apexpredator: She's not wrong.
apexpredator: "Janis I love your jacket!"
apexpredator: "Janis you're such a good artist!!!"
caddyheron: ok this is biphobic
apexpredator: "Janis you look so pretty today!"
why-its-janis has removed apexpredator from the group chat
caddyheron: holy HECK
gaymian: janis has a deathwish
why-its-janis: nope, janis is just really sick of everyone insisting she and her friend are dating
why-its-janis: WHEN THEYRE NOT
gaymian: janis chill
gaymian: regina was kidding its fine
gaymian has added apexpredator to the chat
apexpredator: T R E A S O N
gretch-is-fetch: oh no
caddyheron: pray for janis 2k18