Actions

Work Header

Soft Janis? In MY Groupchat? It's More Likely Than You Think!

Chapter Text

the void, 8:35 p.m.

 

gretch-is-fetch: guys, why isn't karen in this gc?

gaymian: the pure one must be protected

caddyheron: >:O

gaymian: calm down caddy we all know you were corrupted junior year

gaymian: there's no going back from that

why-its-janis: why am i getting notifs at 8 pm

apexpredator: ALRIGHT WHO CHANGED MY NAME

apexpredator: Also, my bad Gretch. I forgot to add Karen.

why-its-janis: "forgot"

gaymian: this tea is piping

caddyheron: guys stop!! regina's working on her bitchiness

gaymian: caddy!! language!

caddyheron: oh so JANIS can curse but when i do it im "being too loud" and "disrupting lunch"???

apexpredator has added karen-the-sexy-mouse

karen-the-sexy-mouse: hi every1 !!!

why-its-janis: hi karen! :)

gaymian: a soft janis appears

why-its-janis: nO

caddyheron: does janis sarkisian is soft???

why-its-janis: im NOT SOFT,,,

gretch-is-fetch: screenshotted

caddyheron: yes!!!

why-its-janis: N O

gaymian: its ok janis we all knew u were secretly soft from the beginning

apexpredator: IS NO ONE GOING TO TELL ME WHO CHANGED MY NAME

why-its-janis: whoops it was me

apexpredator: JANIS

why-its-janis: IM SORRY

caddyheron: gasp!!!

gaymian: janis apologized to regina??? she really IS turning soft

why-its-janis: OH MY GOD,,

gretch-is-fetch: SCREENSHOTTED

why-its-janis: this is homophobia

why-its-janis: THIS IS A HATE CRIME

caddyheron: whoa there buddy

why-its-janis: caddy. put down ur phone right now, look me in the eye, and honestly tell me you genuinely think im soft (without laughing),,, and THEN i will believe u

gaymian: gay

apexpredator: Wait, you two are with each other right now?

why-its-janis: if by "with each other" you mean "in the same room", then yes

apexpredator: Then why aren't you just talking in person?

gaymian: regina's use of capitalization and proper punctuation is taking years off my lifespan

apexpredator: Well I'm sorry I'm the only distinguished member of this godforsaken group chat, Damian. We can't all be disasters.

caddyheron: OH SHOOT

gretch-is-fetch: hhhhsgsjskslk

apexpredator: But seriously, why are Cady and Janis just texting here when they could be talking in person?

caddyheron: don't question our methods

why-its-janis: ^^^

gaymian: and what exactly ARE your methods??

why-its-janis: caddy JUST SAID not to question them,,,,, and whAT DID YOU DO

gaymian: i... questioned them

why-its-janis: you had ONE JOB

caddyheron: janis

why-its-janis: wha t

why-its-janis: wait where are you??

caddyheron: whatever do u mean

why-its-janis: CADY!! ???

gaymian: oof she used her proper name

gretch-is-fetch: wait what's going on?

why-its-janis: cady left the room or smthg and now im running around my house trying to find her???

why-its-janis: cady if you dont come out im never hugging you again

caddyheron: fine

caddyheron: IM BI

gaymian: we know honey you remind us every day

gretch-is-fetch: did you find her???

why-its-janis: nO,,

caddyheron: i can hear u running around and frantically opening cabinets

caddyheron: your boots are so loud

apexpredator: Janis wears shoes inside her own house?

gaymian: yes

gaymian: she doesn't understand basic etiquette even in her own home

why-its-janis: shut up damian

gaymian: !!!

caddyheron: JANIS DID YOU JUST FALL

gretch-is-fetch: oh my g od

caddyheron: y'all it sounded like she fell down the stairs

gaymian: "y'all"

apexpredator: Go help her?!! Cady what the heck?

caddyheron: IM COMMITTED TO THE GAME BUT IM SCARED SHE GOT HURT

gaymian: CADY

gaymian: he l p h e r

caddyheron: OK OK

gretch-is-fetch: the fact that it took her that long to decide whether or not to help janis highkey worries me??

gaymian: i told you guys,, she's corrupted

apexpredator: oops

gaymian: HHSGSKSNK

gaymian: caddy is janis ok

caddyheron: turns out she DID fall down the stairs

caddyheron: so now im looking for the bandaids

why-its-janis: caddy im never inviting u over again

gaymian: oh my god

caddyheron: IM SORRY!!! <3

apexpredator: Put down your phones and TALK TO EACH OTHER!

gaymian: says regina

apexpredator: Oh, shut up.

apexpredator: But really, is Janis okay?

gaymian: does regina is soft

gretch-is-fetch: DOES REGINA IS SOFT

caddyheron: D O E S R E G I N A I S S O F T

apexpredator: No.

why-its-janis: wow regina worrying abt me??? i never thought id see the day,,,

apexpredator: You all know I love you guys, stop acting like it's shocking.

gretch-is-fetch: hhhhHH FREAKINF SCREENSHOTTED

caddyheron: ?????!!!!!!

gaymian: this is truly monumental

apexpredator: You're all idiots.

caddyheron: there she is!!!

why-its-janis: caddy,,,

why-its-janis: why in the na me of GO D

gaymian: ??

why-its-janis: are you using HELLO KITTY BA NDAID S

gaymian: oh my god

caddyheron: shush theyre cute

why-its-janis: first i fall down a flight of stairs,,

why-its-janis: THEN my friend uses childrens bandaids to patch me up

why-its-janis: cady youre lucky i havent rescinded your hugging rights

caddyheron: THE BANDAIDS ARE CUTE JANIS

why-its-janis: NO THEYRE NOT

apexpredator: Trouble in paradise?

caddyheron: JANIS JUST CHOKED ON HER DRINK

gaymian: regina hhsgsjbs

gretch-is-fetch: SCREENSHOTTED

why-its-janis: CADY ANF I ARE JUSR FRIENDS

gaymian: they're "jusr friends" guys

why-its-janis: FRICK YOU DAMIAN

why-its-janis: im sorry,,

apexpredator: Janis with anyone else in this group chat: *curses profusely*

Janis with Damian, Cady, and Karen: *struggles to merely insult them*

gretch-is-fetch: ACCURATE

why-its-janis: stOP CALLING ME OUT

karen-the-sexy-mouse: wait are janis and cady dating??? ??

gaymian: a wild karen appears

why-its-janis: NO

gaymian: cady's oddly silent

why-its-janis: its bc shes putting a bandaid on my knee

apexpredator: Janis you're really not making things easier for yourself here.

why-its-janis: hhsgsjbsj

caddyheron: janis is all fixed up now!

why-its-janis: yeah with freaking GODAWFUL BANDAIDS

caddyheron: anangryjanis.jpg

gaymian: my new lockscreen!

why-its-janis: NO!!!

gretch-is-fetch: saved to camera roll!!

why-its-janis: CADY WHY

gretch-is-fetch: SHE USED THE PROPER NAME!!!

caddyheron: janis you look f i n e chill out

gaymian: lesbian activity

why-its-janis: damian i am going to KILL YOU TOMORROW

gaymian: oh no im so scared,,,

caddyheron: pfft

why-its-janis: caddy i hope u know you owe me SO HARD for everything thats gone down today

apexpredator: I'm just reading all of this with a bowl of popcorn and honestly, it's better than most of the reality TV shows I watch.

gaymian: RT

caddyheron: sorry jan,,, how will i ever repay u

gaymian: "jan"??

apexpredator: I used to call her that in fifth grade.

gretch-is-fetch: screenshotted!

caddyheron: idk i just feel like she needs a nickname?? bc she calls me caddy all the time???

why-its-janis: you can start by never calling me "jan" again

gaymian: OH SHOOT

why-its-janis: and work your way up by complementing me constantly :)

gretch-is-fetch: oof

caddyheron: but i already do that??

gaymian: HhhJsjskKK

apexpredator: She's not wrong.

apexpredator: "Janis I love your jacket!"

apexpredator: "Janis you're such a good artist!!!"

caddyheron: ok this is biphobic

apexpredator: "Janis you look so pretty today!"

why-its-janis has removed apexpredator from the group chat

caddyheron: holy HECK

gaymian: janis has a deathwish

why-its-janis: nope, janis is just really sick of everyone insisting she and her friend are dating

why-its-janis: WHEN THEYRE NOT

gretch-is-fetch: oof

caddyheron: yikes...

gaymian: janis chill

gaymian: regina was kidding its fine

gaymian has added apexpredator to the chat

apexpredator: T R E A S O N

gretch-is-fetch: oh no

caddyheron: pray for janis 2k18