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Surprise, I Got Kidnapped

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Steve hated killing.

Kind of an odd sentiment for the biggest mob boss on the East Coast, but that’s Steve for you. He always, always looked for another way. He only killed if he absolutely had to.

Tony knew, though, that he would kill this man. He glared at the man through a slowly swelling eye, spitting at the metallic taste of blood in his mouth. Given, it had taken the man over an hour to break, an hour of Tony’s incessant blabbering, to resort to punches to shut him up. Tony tugged at the ropes that were tying his hands together, trying uselessly to slip out of them. He had already used every trick he knew, and all he succeeded in doing was getting them to tighten, biting into his wrists and making his fingers go numb.

“Here’s where you went wrong,” Tony said strongly. The man, probably a newcomer looking to claw his way up the ranks, looked like he was straining to keep from hitting Tony again.

“You don’t mess with the Captain.”

Tony had tried to tell Steve that was a stupid name. Back before all of this, before the mob and the guns and the enemies, back when they were just two kids playing in the backyard. Of course, they hadn’t been playing at being mobsters. They had been playing superhero, pretending to save the day and defeat the villain. Steve always insisted that his superhero name was the Captain. Tony, who had flipped through all variations of Iron Man, from Iron Patriot on, had laughed at his choice, but it stuck around. It stuck past the superhero stage, through school and beyond. Now, the Captain was a well-known and widely-feared name.

“You don’t take his things.”

Tony glanced over at the crates in the corner. He could tell from the size and shape that there were three shipments of guns, two boxes of ammo, and one crate full of Steve’s latest payment. This newbie had caught Steve’s guys in the middle of a cargo run. The fact that he had even gotten away suggested that he had his own men, several followers. Steve would be pissed.

It wasn’t about the money. Steve was not in it for that. He made good money now, for sure, but that wasn’t his motivation. When the job was done, Steve paid his people well, gave half of his share to some charity to save the orphans or feed the kittens or some shit like that, and put the rest away in his various savings. For Tony, he always said. One day they’d buy a beach house, he promised. Steve would give his position away to someone he trusted and he’d retire with Tony, somewhere safe. Tony scoffed at that. Steve would never be done. He was in it to keep the streets, where he had grown up, safe. That would never truly happen, and Tony knew. The money was for the one time Steve wasn’t fast enough, wasn’t strong enough, didn’t have enough people backing him. It was so Tony could escape, start over somewhere new. Tony hated those savings. He wanted to withdraw all the money and throw it in the ocean, give it to some homeless lady, anything.

“And you don’t touch his family.”

Bucky, Steve’s second in command, a crack shot even with one prosthetic arm. Clint, who Steve had rescued from an abusive ringmaster at some shitty circus, who would give his life for Steve in a heartbeat. Natasha, all Russian with a bad attitude and a soft heart under her tough exterior. Bruce, who had followed Tony from college and never went back, who had a temper and an impressive knowledge of explosives. Thor, bright, goofy, and a real mountain of a man. All people Steve considered family- his family of choice.


“Which, incidentally enough, includes me.”

They had always been close. Despite their differences, despite their arguments and fights, despite the differences in their families’ economic status growing up. Tony had loved Steve, in one way or another, ever since he had laid eyes on the skinny blonde boy with bruised knees and dirt on his nose that Steve used to be. When he left for college, and Steve had stayed behind, Tony thought his heart was permanently broken. After Howard had died and no one was pressuring him, Tony had gone back. Steve had welcomed him back with open arms. Of course he had- stupid man with his stupidly huge heart and an inhuman capacity for forgiveness.

“The man who was going to make it to dinner with his boyfriend- until you kidnapped him.”

This time, it actually was Tony’s fault. He knew that Steve’s enemies were everywhere. He knew that they all had seen his face before. But he had still slipped away from his guard, leaving them in the dust while he ran free. He had just wanted to pick up Steve’s anniversary present without Steve knowing for once. He wanted to surprise him, just once.

Surprise, I got kidnapped. Happy anniversary, baby!

Any reply was cut off by a loud explosion. The warehouse they were hidden in shook, dust falling off the ceiling and drifting to the floor. Muffled shouts could be heard through the high windows, followed by the unmistakable ring of gunshots. Tony shrugged.

“Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

The main thug pushed Tony aside, making the chair he was strapped to topple over. With his face pressed against the hard concrete floor, Tony couldn’t see anything, but he could hear the guns and the thuds as bodies hit the floor. With his ears ringing and his face throbbing, all Tony could think was, ‘Ow.’

Then, as soon as it had started, it was over. The room fell silent, and Tony sighed in relief. Maybe now someone would untie him so he could get back to Steve.

Gentle hands picked Tony up, chair and all, and sat him upright. With all the banging around, his eye had swollen shut, but out of his other one he could see Steve’s pale, worried face. Steve cut the ropes from his wrists and massaged the red skin.

Tony didn’t look at the dead men on the floor. He smiled at Steve. Gone was the Captain. The mob boss that had just killed an entire enemy faction was nowhere to be seen. Instead, Steve had on his worried, mother-hen face. Tony knew he was in for some pampering.

“I’m ok,” Tony said when he realized Steve was chanting a chorus of ‘I’m sorry’s and still rubbing his numb hands. “Really, babe, I’m alright. Just a little bruised.”

“It could have been worse,” Steve whispered. “I thought…”

Tony shuffled off the chair and into Steve’s arms. He could hear the others moving the bodies, Bucky calling out orders to clean the place up, but he ignored them.

“I’m alright, Steve. You rescued me, I’m fine. Can we just go?”

Steve nodded and scooped Tony up, bridal-style. Tony buried his face in the blonde’s chest and closed his eyes. Steve stopped to talk to Bucky, but Tony tuned them out. He didn’t look as Steve slid into his car and the driver took off.

“What were you doing?” Steve asked softly. “When you slipped away? What did you go do?”

“Got you a present,” Tony said, voice muffled by Steve’s shirt. “Wanted to surprise you.”

Tony could practically feel Steve’s eyes softening. For a mob boss, he was such a sap. Tony poked his shoulder.

“Don’t get too excited. It broke in the scuffle.”

“It’s the thought that counts.” Tony looked up and saw Steve smiling.

See? Such a sap.

“Well, now you owe me dinner. At least. And a massage,” Tony huffed.

“I think I can arrange that.”

“And sex. Mindblowing sex,” Tony added.

“I can definitely arrange that,” Steve said with a laugh. “But first, I’m taking care of that eye and those wrists.”

“You’re such a mother hen,” Tony accused. Steve nodded.

“You wouldn’t have it any other way.”