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Hannibal

Where R U boss?

Hone

Home?

Yes

Y R U home already?

Stroke my finger

Is that like pull your finger??

Stupid auto cucumber. Canton type. Broke fling we

Fling we....

Fonger

Finger? U can’t type because U broke a finger????

Yes

Oh no! How did that happen?

It got stuck in my butthole

Excuse me?

Oh my gos, stuck in my Buckley

Come again?

B U C K L E ! Stuck in hold terrible buckle

One more time

Holster. Jesus Heist!

Okaaaaaay?

Rust and I went to base whorehouse to get him epic penis

First of all I didn’t know Benning had one of those. Second, Isn’t his penis epic enough? Maybe you could loan him yours

Seaweed Jesus. Warehouse for epic penis

E P I P END S

E P I P E N S

U went to warehouse with Russ for epi pens?

Yes

And U stuck your finger where?

Not stucco Got stuck

Got stuck where?

Buckle of holistic

Pretty sure epi pens aren’t holistic

H O L S T ER

U got finger stuck in buckle of your holster?

Yes

I’m also pretty sure Army gives those pens away with Dr note, no need for armed holdup

Shut yup. Wiki tell u abourt later

You have pain killers?

Yes

That explains a lot

Very dummy

Was that really necessary?

F U N N Y Very flummoxed

????

Gfedfg*vvh((ngvvh7hn

R U spanking the keypad?

Maybe

Can I get U anything?

I’m horney

This is awkward. I’m still at work, though I hear there’s now a whorehouse on base

H U N G RY

What would you like?

Human beef

That’s just wrong

Jesus vice, H U N A N

O K Hunan beef What do you want with that?

Anthony

Already told U U can’t have human beef

A N Y T HI NG

O K What else? Maybe something from drugstore?

Hermaphrodites

I’m good at procurements, but not that good. Where would I find those?

Liquor store

Really? Do they keep the hermaphrodites behind counter with cigarettes?

No! I want Heinous & stalagmites

Come again

Heineken & S N A C K B I T E S

O K You should take a nap. You’re crabby

I will. I’m laying wit shit you left on bed this morgue

I don’t know if I’m comfortable with that

Y? it smells like you

O K ... TMI

S H I R T ... H A V E YOUR SHORT

Murdock can’t stop giggling

OMG Murdick is there?

Is a murdick something I’d find with the hermaphrodites?

You R gong to play for this

I’m going to play for what now?

Jist wair TILT U gget hone!

Oh yeah? Easy for you to say

B R A T

Sorry you’re hurt

It nor too bass

See you soon

O K Lobe u

Lobe U 2

 

 

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From H/F group pomptfest

Pasmore suggested: I was looking at Damn You Autocorrect and saw one that made me cry with laughter.  Someone sent a text saying “Are chicken fajitas okay for dinner?” but it was autocorrected to “Are chicken vaginas okay for dinner?”.  Hannibal sends this text, or whatever you like, to Face, not realising it’s been autocorrected.  Face gets it when he’s with Murdock and the two of them try to think of an appropriate response.