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A Vision Of Ecstacy

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Sonny breathed out a silent sigh, drumming his fingers on the table beside him. He had been excited when he’d received the invitation to his friend's wedding. It would be first gay wedding he had attended, which made it feel extra special somehow. A milestone, even though there had been countless same-sex weddings before this one. Knowing he was going to watch two men tie the knot made it seem more possible for him, somehow.

 

But sitting there watching his friends all dance with their partners left him feeling incredibly out of place.

 

It was hard to keep up with his friends with the hours he kept. Every time they got together it seemed as though Sonny was busy, and when he wasn’t, he was either dead on his feet or had a case weighing on him so heavily that he was barely present anyway. He knew he was more than likely not much fun to be around anymore. They’d simply gone their separate ways, their lives were taking different paths, but the fact that it was just the natural progression of things didn’t make it hurt any less.

 

But never had it felt more obvious than it did in that moment, watching his friends laughing and dancing together, twirling each other's partners around and sharing rounds of shots. He wasn’t a part of it anymore.

 

He took a sip from his beer, contemplating leaving early, when he locked eyes on a familiar face across the room. As Peter’s gaze met his, he felt his heart rate spike and his lips quirk into a smile. Of all the people, he hadn’t expected to run into someone from work, someone he knew.

 

“I thought I saw you earlier today,” Peter said quietly as he took the seat beside Sonny. “But you were gone in the blink of an eye.”

 

Sonny laughed. “Yeah, honestly, how does anyone even know 200 people?”

 

Peter laughed, relaxing back in his chair, though Sonny could still feel his eyes on him. “Who are you here for?”

 

“Andrew,” Sonny said, nodding towards where the groom stood on the dance floor, arms around his new husband's waist as they swayed lazily in time with the music. “You?”

 

“Julian,” Peter said with a gentle smile.

 

Sonny brought his gaze back to the man next to him, heart skipping a beat at how relaxed he looked. “How do you know Julian?”

 

“Honestly?” Peter smiled shyly, turning to face Sonny properly. “We dated in high school.”

 

Sonny blinked, trying not to let the shock show on his face at the casual admission. Never in a million years would he have suspected Peter Stone was anything other than straight. He knew, statistically, that there had to be gay athlete’s and sporting stars out there, but the fact that Peter had played professional baseball made it seem an impossibility. Not to mention the fact that he just screamed straight. With this new information, however, he felt a small flash of guilt for accepting stereotypes as fact, despite how many times he’d met people who broke them a million times over.

 

Peter’s tone was wistful, but he didn’t look sad to be seeing his high school sweetheart married off to someone else.

 

“You stayed in touch?” Sonny asked before he could stop himself.

 

Peter huffed out a dry laugh. “Of course. Neither of us knew anyone else who was gay. No one that was out, anyway. Not that we were, either, mind you.”

 

Sonny nodded. He understood that. Of course he did. If he’d had any gay friends as a kid he probably would have clung to them for dear life as a reminder that he wasn’t alone. He couldn’t say that, though.

 

He wanted to.

 

To let Peter know he wasn’t straight either. But the words got caught in his throat, an odd sense of fear causing his stomach to swoop for a second.

 

“You here alone?” Peter asked, leaning in as he softened his voice.

 

“Yeah,” Sonny huffed, running his hand through his hair. “Amanda was meant to come, but she bailed on me at the last minute.”

 

Something flickered on Peter’s face, his lips pulling downward for a brief second before he was smiling again. Sonny felt his heart skip a beat, though he wasn’t sure what it meant.

 

“I wondered if there was something there.” Peter’s voice was quiet enough for Sonny to have to lean in closer to hear him properly. “You two seem good together.”

 

Sonny laughed before he could help himself, shaking his head. “Oh my God, no, not like that. I just didn’t wanna come alone. We’re not together.”

 

“Good,” Peter said, face happy and relaxed for just a moment before his eyes went wide, a blush slowly creeping up his neck.

 

Sonny pushed past the flutter in his stomach, grinning at Peter as he tilted his head in question. “Good?”

 

“No,” Peter muttered, huffing out an awkward laugh, turning his face away. “No. No, I didn’t mean that.”

 

“Oh, really?” Sonny teased, nudging Peter’s arm, something easing inside him with this revelation.

 

Peter groaned, covering his face with his hands, though Sonny could tell he was smiling. “I’m gonna get a drink,” Peter muttered, voice muffled. “Do you want anything?”

 

“Just another beer, please.” Sonny smirked as Peter got up, avoiding eye contact entirely, ears still burning red as he headed to the bar.

 

He couldn’t help but steal glances at Peter from across the room where he was leaning against the bar checking his phone. He still looked red, but he was also smiling. A warmth settled in Sonny’s chest, making him feel lighter than he had all night.

 

When Peter returned he had two beers as well as two shots on a small tray. The smile he offered as he set their drinks down was somewhat shy, which made Sonny’s smile grow impossibly wider, his stomach swooping.

 

“I don’t know what this is,” Peter said, lifting one of the shot glasses to inspect its blue-green contents, “but I asked for their strongest, and this is what we got.”

 

“You trying to get me drunk?” Sonny teased as he picked up the other shot.

 

“I’m trying to get me drunk,” Peter muttered before downing the contents. He grimaced, swallowing hard as he shook his head. “Jesus.”

 

Sonny was quick to follow, wincing against the burn, but relishing in the flush that had risen to Peter’s face, dusting his cheeks in pink.

 

“That was awful,” he choked out, reaching for his beer.

 

Peter nodded, taking a large mouthful of his own beer before exhaling heavily. “They weren’t wrong, though.”

 

“Lightweight,” Sonny teased, though he could feel his own head buzzing as he leaned into Peter’s space.

 

They drank in silence for a while, watching people dance and take photos. When they’d finished their drinks, Peter wordlessly got up to get them a refill. When he returned, he seemed to be sitting closer. Sonny could feel the warmth radiating off of him. It was pleasantly distracting. He longed to reach over, to take Peter’s hand in his own, but something was holding him back.

 

“I’m sorry,” Peter said softly, leaning in even closer, though he still wouldn’t look Sonny in the eye, opting to focus on the label on his beer as he fiddled with its curling edges. “I shouldn’t...If I made you uncomfortable--”

 

“Stop,” Sonny said quickly, covering Peter’s hands with his own, stilling his movements. “It’s okay. If I felt uncomfortable I wouldn’t be sitting here with you.”

 

There was something like hesitation in Peter’s face when he looked up. “Really?”

 

“Really,” Sonny said softly, brushing his thumb across Peter’s knuckles.

 

He wanted to kiss the shy smile off Peter’s face, wanted to run his fingers through his hair, hold him close, cherish that smile forever. He swallowed, inching a little closer, but his nerves got the better of him, and he let go of Peter’s hands instead.

 

Peter breathed out a small sigh, shoulders slumping a little before he got up, waggling his empty beer bottle towards Sonny. “You want another?”

 

“Dance with me?” Sonny said quickly, forcing the words out before he could chicken out as he reached out to grab Peter’s wrist.

 

His heart threatened to burst out of his ribcage as Peter’s face went slack with confusion. But slowly his lips turned upwards, eyes shining as the most beautiful grin took over his face. Somehow, that only intensified Sonny’s nerves.

 

“I’d love to.” Peter sounded breathless. He looked like he’d been handed the most beautiful gift in the world, and Sonny couldn’t quite believe his luck.

 

Slowly, he placed his drink on the table and stood up. His head spun slightly from the alcohol he’d consumed as he offered his hand to Peter, who took it readily.

 

It felt as though the world had slowed down around them as Sonny lead Peter onto the dancefloor. All he could see was Peter smiling at him, deep green eyes catching in the light, shining as bright as any star.

 

Tentatively, he wrapped his arms around Peter’s waist, feeling him shiver at the touch as he moved impossibly close, resting his own hands on Sonny’s hips.

 

“Is this okay?” Peter murmured, face close enough that Sonny could feel the warmth of his breath ghost across his cheek.

 

He nodded, unable to find the words. There were no words for just how more than okay this was. He glanced at Peter’s lips, and when he looked back up Peter’s eyes were darker, his expression more hesitant.

 

Sonny reached up, cupping the back of Peter’s head, running his fingers into his hair. It felt like a perfect moment, designed just for them, almost too good to be true. He couldn’t even hear the music past the sound of his own heartbeat as he closed the distance between them, brushing his lips lightly across Peter’s.

 

That was all it took for Peter to surge forward, to capture Sonny’s lips between his own, one hand sliding up Sonny’s back while the other gripped his waist tight.

 

When they broke apart, Sonny felt light-headed and breathless. He let out a groan at the sight of Peter’s lips, plump and red from kissing, his pupils blown wide. When Peter pressed their hips together, he could feel Peter’s growing erection through the fabric of his pants, and he let his head fall to the other man’s shoulder, a breathy laugh escaping him.

 

“I have a room booked upstairs,” Sonny muttered into Peter’s shoulder before lifting his head. “If...if that’s what--”

 

“Yes,” Peter breathed out, capturing Sonny’s lips again, this time more forceful. “God, yes, if that’s what you want, yes.”

 

When they finally separated the rest of the world came rushing back into focus and Sonny felt himself flush as he looked around, wondering if anyone had seen them.

 

“No one’s going to care,” Peter said quietly, taking Sonny’s hand in his.

 

Sonny nodded, gripping back a little tighter than necessary as he lead Peter away from the reception hall and out the door.

 

The corridor was much cooler than the large hall had been, and a fresh wave of nerves washed over him as they waited for the lift. He kept a hold of Peter’s hand, but he didn’t dare make eye contact, didn’t dare even steal a glance, in case this all fell to pieces around him.

 

As they stepped into the lift, Sonny could feel Peter’s eyes on him, which sent his heart into a frenzy. He wondered if he was making a mistake, if he was moving this too fast. He didn’t want Peter to just be a quick fuck, a one night stand, something to make the night memorable. He wanted to take Peter to lunch, to the theatre, maybe even to his parent's house for dinner. He wanted to cook for him, to have quiet nights in watching a game, to cuddle up on the lounge for hours on end, no expectations, just company.

 

He wanted something more, but he was afraid to ask for it. He was afraid that if he said anything his chance would be gone forever.

 

They remained silent the entire way to Sonny’s room, and the longer he felt Peter stare at him, the harder his heart slammed against his ribcage. His head was spinning and he was sure it had very little to do with the alcohol he had consumed.

 

“Hey,” Peter said softly, reaching out to still Sonny’s hand as he fumbled with the swipe card. “We don’t have to do this if you’ve changed your mind.”

 

Sonny shook his head, sparing Peter a quick glance before he pulled both his hands away, relieved when the door unlocked for him.

 

As he stepped into the room, he ran his fingers through his hair, willing himself to calm down. He wanted this to be fun, to be amazing, to be something Peter would never forget. He wouldn’t be able to do that if he couldn’t relax.

 

“Sonny,” Peter said softly, taking a hold of his wrist to turn him around. “Are you okay?”

 

When met with Peter’s eyes again, Sonny felt himself melt, just a little, some of his nerves easing. He was here, with Peter, about to fulfill a fantasy he never thought possible. It didn’t matter if it was only one night. It would be the best night of his life.

 

“I’m fine,” he said quietly, cupping the back of Peter’s head.

 

His body felt as though it were on fire as he drew Peter in for a searing kiss, breathing him in, willing himself to give in to the moment and not think about anything else.

 

Gently, he slid his hands under Peter’s jacket, pushing it off his shoulders. He pulled the fabric of Peter’s shirt from his pants, tugging on the material as he dragged Peter towards the bed, only breaking their kiss to nip lightly at his lips.

 

He was tempted to tear Peter’s shirt from his body, but instead, he took his time, mouthing at his neck, at his collarbone, at his ear, as he slowly undid each button.

 

As he slid the shirt from Peter’s shoulders he ran his hands down surprisingly muscular arms. He knew Peter was built, but he hadn’t quite realized the full extent of it.

 

“Jesus,” he muttered, earning a chuckle from Peter before his jaw was cupped, rough yet gentle all at once, and Peter was forcing their eyes to meet once more.

 

Peter’s expression was soft as he pressed an almost chaste kiss to Sonny’s lips. It felt as though they were both in just their underwear in the blink of an eye. He swore that time could stand still under Peter’s gaze, intense, gentle, full of the kind of awe Sonny craved, despite how undeserving he felt.

 

“You’re amazing,” he whispered, pulling their hips together.

 

Peter hummed, eyes twinkling with amusement, as he reached between them to palm Sonny through his briefs, eliciting a small, needy groan.

 

Sonny couldn’t help but run his hands over every inch of Peter he could reach, in awe of every little bump of muscle that he knew was lacking from his own body. He would have felt embarrassed if it weren’t for the way that Peter was looking at him like he was the most beautiful thing Peter had ever laid eyes on.

 

For a moment, he got lost in his lover’s eyes, mesmerized by the deep, dark green, made only darker by lust, by want, by need. He felt his heart stutter for a moment, but he barely had time to analyze that before Peter was kissing his way down Sonny’s torso, nipping his skin gently at odd intervals.

 

He mouthed at Sonny’s cock, and even through his underwear, the heat of Peter’s mouth had Sonny bucking up for more, barely aware of his own actions.

 

Peter's fingers ghosted above the waistband of Sonny’s briefs, causing goosebumps to rise on his flesh. “Is this okay?” Sonny nodded. “What do you want me to do?”

 

Sonny bit back a groan at the sound of Peter’s voice, now husky and deep. Just the sight of Peter staring up at him like that, pupils blown wide, was almost enough to send Sonny over the edge right then and there.

 

“Whatever you want.” Without thinking, he reached down, sliding his hand under the waistband of his own underwear, seeking that long-awaited friction.

 

Sonny felt, more than heard, Peter’s laughter as he pushed Sonny’s underwear all the way down, pressing a kiss to the inside of Sonny’s thigh as he went. When Peter came back up his own underwear was gone, and Sonny couldn’t resist reaching between them to take him in his hand.

 

Peter breathed out heavily, letting his head fall to Sonny’s shoulder. “Do you have supplies?”

 

Sonny nodded before biting down lightly on Peter’s shoulder. The moan it elicited went straight to Sonny’s cock, and he pressed his hips upward, relishing in the skin-on-skin contact. “In my wallet”

 

Peter lifted his head to look Sonny in the eye. “Can I fuck you?”

 

Sonny swore his heart stopped for a moment. All he could see was Peter’s eyes, intense, determined, yet still soft as ever. “Yes,” he breathed out before pressing a rough, bruising kiss to Peter’s lips, gripping his hips with both his hands, hard enough to bruise as he ground up against his cock.

 

When they broke apart, Peter was grinning, and Sonny could have sworn it was the sweetest thing he’d ever seen. He felt his heart drop to his stomach as Peter reached over him to where Sonny’s pants had been tossed onto the nightstand. The tear of the condom wrapper made his stomach flip.

 

He wanted to see that smile, that grin, aimed at him every day if he could manage it. The depth of his sudden need felt like a punch to the gut, and for a moment he felt winded and dazed.

 

“Hey,” Peter said softly, kneeling above him, brow furrowed with concern that felt so out of place in that moment. He cupped Sonny’s face tenderly, brushing his thumb across his cheek. “Are you sure this is okay?”

 

Sonny nodded, turning his head to press a kiss to Peter’s palm before reaching out to take the condom from him. His hands shook as he slowly rolled the condom over Peter’s cock, but he ignored it, focussing instead on the feel of Peter twitching in his hands, desperate for more.

 

Peter tilted his chin up, forcing them to lock eyes again. Sonny’s throat grew tight at the softness he saw in the other man’s gaze. “Are you sure?”

 

Sonny nodded again, hooking his legs around Peter, forcing him to move closer.

 

“I want to hear you say it,” Peter whispered, running his fingers through Sonny’s hair.

 

“Yes,” Sonny said quietly, voice a little scratchy. “I’m sure. I want you. More than anything, I want you.”

 

Sonny’s heart soared at the look of relief that took over Peter’s face. “Okay. Good. Me too. Me too.”

 

Peter pressed a kiss to the corner of Sonny’s mouth before coating his fingers in lube. Delicately, he reached between them, circling Sonny’s entrance lightly before pushing in. Sonny forced himself to relax, head rolling to the side. Peter pressed an open-mouthed kiss to his neck as he began to move inside him, stretching Sonny just a little, getting him used to the sensation.

 

“More,” Sonny urged, canting his hips upward a little as he spread his legs as far as he could.

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Yes,” Sonny breathed out. “I just want you inside of me.”

 

Peter let out a breathy moan before crooking his finger just so, hitting Sonny’s sweet spot. Without even meaning to he bucked up, desperate for contact. He wanted to touch himself, but he knew if he did that he wouldn’t last long at all, and he wanted to make this moment stretch for eternity.

 

As Peter entered another finger, he pressed a kiss to Sonny’s shoulder, biting down just lightly.

 

“Yes,” Sonny encouraged, closing his eyes, reaching down between them to take Peter in his hand, running his thumb across the tip of Peter’s cock before starting a steady, slow rhythm. “That.”

 

Peter laughed breathlessly before biting down again, this time a little harder, causing Sonny to moan and quicken his pace.

 

They built up a rhythm together, Peter hitting Sonny’s prostate at odd intervals, and before long Sonny was a writhing mess, sweaty and panting and desperate for more, for anything, for Peter.

 

“I need you. I’m ready.” Without even being told, he lifted his hips, allowing Peter to slot a pillow underneath.

 

It felt like an eternity and an instant all at once before he felt the heat of Peter’s cock at his entrance, teasing. The burn as he pushed inside him, filling him up, was almost overwhelming in the best way possible, and he felt his heart leap into his throat, his whole body thrumming.

 

“You okay?” Peter asked, voice hoarse.

 

“Yeah,” Sonny breathed out, reaching up to cup Peter’s face. “Yes.”

 

Peter began a slow, gentle rhythm that had Sonny panting, squirming, desperate for more as Peter hit his prostate each and every time. He gripped Peter’s hips, fingernails digging in as he urged him to go faster, to go harder, unable to find the words.

 

Peter got the hint, though, quickening his pace while Sonny ran his hands up Peter’s back, feeling the muscles ripple under his touch with each movement Peter made.

 

“God,” Peter moaned, sending a jolt straight to Sonny’s cock. “You’re so beautiful.”

 

Sonny felt his throat close up and his heart swell at the look Peter gave him then, as though Sonny had set the stars in the sky, all for him. He’d never thought he’d be capable of such emotion while he was so turned on, but there it was, his heart threatening to burst while he was being fucked into oblivion.

 

He let out a strangled sort of whimper, unable to be any more articulate as he reached between them to begin stroking his own cock in time with Peter’s thrusts.

 

He’d slept with plenty of people, men and women, some his partners and others just a one night stand, but none had ever quite felt like this. The things he felt went beyond lust, beyond desire, beyond need. What he felt with Peter was overwhelming, all-encompassing, so powerful he could feel tears burning his eyes. He’d never been looked at with quite so much adoration as when Peter looked at him, had never imagined that emotion like this even existed on the brink of an orgasm.

 

When Sonny felt the familiar heat pool in his stomach it was accompanied by an odd sense of disappointment that this would be over soon. But then Peter was surging forward, kissing him roughly as his hand joined Sonny’s, stroking in perfect sync with each thrust, and that sent him over the edge before he could think twice about it, vision prickling with bursts of light, mouth open in a silent moan as he coated them in hot, white spurts.

 

He felt Peter’s actions slow, but he gripped Peter’s ass tight, urging him on.

 

“Come for me,” he whispered, and that was all it took for Peter to be moaning his name, head dropping to Sonny’s chest, barely able to hold himself up anymore.

 

After a few moments of complete silence, punctuated only by their heavy breathing, Peter pulled out and disposed of the condom. He seemed to hesitate for just a moment before allowing himself to collapse on the bed beside Sonny, face pressed up against his shoulder.

 

Sonny could feel the disappointment welling up inside him and he wished it would go away. He didn’t want to ruin the memory of this by being upset that it would never happen again. He didn’t want to let that get in the way of what was otherwise the best sex of his life. But coming down from that high, from such an intense experience, was not helping him keep his emotions in check.

 

“You okay?” Peter asked quietly, propping his head up to look at Sonny.

 

He blinked, feeling the familiar prickle of tears in his eyes, and nodded, offering Peter a smile. “Of course. That was...you’re amazing.”

 

A grin broke out across Peter’s face before it faltered a little, turning impossibly shy, considering what they had just done together. He reached out, tracing lazy, feather-light patterns across Sonny’s chest, averting his gaze.

 

“I really enjoyed this. Tonight. With you.”

 

Sonny felt his heart skip a beat before dropping to his stomach, cold as ice. This was it. “Yeah,” he choked out, “me too.”

 

“I don’t just mean this,” Peter said firmly, gesturing between them before meeting Sonny’s gaze. “I mean everything that came before it.”

 

“Me too,” Sonny whispered, voice shaking just a little.

 

“I’d like to...stay the night. If you’ll have me?”

 

Sonne felt his stomach swoop, a warmth filling him up so fast it made him dizzy. “Yes. God. Yes,” he laughed.

 

“Oh my God,” Peter breathed out, letting his head fall to Sonny’s shoulder with a silent laugh of his own. He pressed a soft kiss to Sonny’s skin, one that sent tingles throughout his whole body. “Thank you.”

 

Sonny rolled on his side a little, reaching up to cup Peter’s jaw, tilting his head upwards. His eyes darted across Peter’s face, taking in every detail before pulling him in for a deep, passionate kiss.

 

Sonny could feel Peter smiling as they broke apart, and he pressed their foreheads together, closing his eyes, letting himself feel everything for just a moment, without thought, without question.

 

“Don’t go anywhere,” he whispered, pressing another quick kiss to Peter’s lips before sliding off the bed and heading into the bathroom.

 

His heart soared as he wet a washer with warm water before returning to the bedroom. Never in his wildest dreams would he have imagined that Peter could want him as he is.

 

Gently, taking his time to take in every inch of Peter’s body without fear, without hesitation, he ran the washcloth across Peter’s skin, surprised at how much more intimate this seemed than what they’d just done.

 

Once they were both clean, Peter settled under the covers, pulling Sonny flush against his side.

 

Hope. That was the overriding feeling Sonny felt as the steady beat of Peter’s heart lulled him to sleep. Hope for things to come.