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Matchmaker, Matchmaker, Make Me A Match

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The thing about tea is... you don't particularly like it. In fact, the words you would use to describe how you feel about tea would be... it makes you want to throw up in your mouth. But the thing about you is... you like to be trendy. You like those aesthetic posts on Tumblr that showcase cozy fireplaces and hot tea. You like beanies, and podcasts about life and true stories, and you like binge-watching popular TV shows so you can then meet new people who like those TV shows.

In conclusion, you just really want to make friends, and after the past few months, you really need some friends.

That's why you're currently at a market to buy tea: to make friends. Particularly, one friend. You see, on your quest to find a friend (and really anybody would do), you've been frequenting local cafes, bowling alleys, arcades, and markets to meet new people. And you have met new people! And one such person that you met seemed really interested with tea... or at least, you think so. They always seemed to order tea at the cafe you chose to frequent so you developed a plan. You were going to buy really good tea, invite them over to your apartment with the promise of tea, and then you'd make a friend!

Okay, it wasn't a good plan, but you were desperate. Months ago, you thought you had great friends and a great relationship! Turns out, you had neither. Getting back on your feet after that horrible day was rough, and you were still recovering from it. It was hard to make friends when you didn't have someone introducing you to people...

Lifting up the two teas you were deciding between, you wondered if this is what normal people had to do to make friends. "Golden Flower tea?" You muttered to yourself as you stared at the packaging. It was monster tea. You had heard stuff about monster food being different from human food. For one, they were supposed to heal your 'soul', whatever that meant. For another, there was no waste. It was just absorbed into your body, and you would continue with life while having no need to use the restroom. You had never tried monster food before so you had your reservations about trying it now.

Oh yeah, monsters were a thing now. You hadn't met one, but since you lived in Ebott, you have seen some around. To be honest, you thought they were quite cute, but at the time, you hadn't really cared. You had all the friends you needed, so while you certainly supported their existence and equality, you didn't extend a hand of friendship. But now, you were wishing you had. Maybe you wouldn't be so scared about trying 'Golden Flower tea'.

Setting down the Golden Flower package, you put the regular human tea into your basket. Turning, you left to go check out... or at least you tried to because you ran into a wall. A very hard wall as it knocked you back on your ass. Blinking, you tried to shake away the daze that came over you, idly wondering when the market put up a wall there. "Oh, I'm sorry, little one. I did not see you there." Oh, the wall talked, and the wall had a very deep and nice voice. It practically vibrated in your chest, and you weren't even touching them!

"Uh, it's alright. No harm done." Shakily accepting the hand (huh, they must be wearing gloves cause their hand was pretty fuzzy) that was offered to you, you realized that you couldn't exactly see the person you ran into. All you could see was a blurry outline of them. Your glasses must have fallen off when you fell. "I like the gloves you're wearing. Very soft." You said while looking for your glasses. It would be good to see the person you ran into.

"Gloves?" They seemed confused which didn't make any sense, but you didn't really think about it since you found what you were looking for. Putting them on, you turned to look at this new person properly... only to set eyes on the largest monster you had ever seen. They were tall, like way tall, which made the fact that he didn't see you when he turned the corner understandable. You were practically an insect compared to him. They looked vaguely like a... goat? They also looked very familiar. You had the distinct impression that you were supposed to know who they were, and now it was going to bother you that you didn't.

"Uhhh... Sorry, I,uh, hadn't noticed the..." You gestured to their body, vaguely noticing that they were wearing a Hawaiian shirt, "I didn't notice the fur..." Gosh, really? That was all you could say? You quickly tried to make up for your blunder by saying: "Not that it's bad or anything! I just wasn't expecting it! You look great! The fur really shines!" God, just kill you now...

"Why thank you, little one." They said, chuckling like you weren't the awkwardest person they must have ever met. They had a nice laugh, soft and low, the kind of laugh that made you want to hear it again. "What brings you to the market?" They smiled down at you, and golly, they had a nice smile too. Meanwhile, here you were, in sweatpants and a day old shirt with your hair not brushed... God, you were making a horrible first impression! You really hoped they didn't mind.

"Just, uh, just buying tea!" You exclaimed, trying to smile just as bright as they were while also holding up the package of tea that you had.

"Ah, a tea lover?" You nodded like the liar you are. "Lovely! I myself like Golden Flower tea. Have you ever tried it?"

"Oh, no. I haven't. I, uh, actually just started to drink tea recently. Haven't branched out a lot." You awkwardly chuckled, rubbing the back of your neck with your free hand. "Is it good?" You shook your head. Of course they thought it was good, they said it was their favorite! "I mean, do you think I'd like it?" Yeah, that was better.

"It is certainly a good tea. I think you should try it." They smiled down at you, and suddenly, you were filled with the courage to at least try the damn tea. After all, other humans had tried monster food, and they were all right!

"I'll do it now! I mean, I'll try it now!" You hurriedly switched your regular old human tea for the monster tea, feeling pretty good about this decision. Turning back to the goat? monster, you shot him your best smile. "Uh, thanks... I've been sticking to the my usual teas" (what usual teas????) "and I was looking to branch out so..." You shrugged, feeling kind of bashful that you were just going to buy monster tea because some person told you.

"It is no problem, little one. I am always here to help." They nodded at you, that nice smile filling you with glee that you got to talk to this monster. Then they started walking away... and well, you kind of panicked. You wanted so badly to make a friend, and here was this so very nice monster, and it was so very obvious that you shouldn't pass up an opportunity to befriend them. So you grabbed their very fluffy and very huge arm, hoping that somehow you were lucky today.

"Uh, wait!" The monster stopped and turned back to you, a curious look on their face. "I just, uh.. Well, I mean, you did suggest this tea to me... and uh, it would mean a lot if you would drink it with me???" Oh gosh, you sounded so cringey. "I mean, you don't have to if you don't want." Why did you do this again? Why didn't you just stick with the plan of befriending that person at the cafe? Though, looking at how you're dealing with this stranger, it doesn't look like your plan would have worked anyway. You're slowly losing hope that you can befriend a single person, and you find yourself stepping away from the monster so you can run away from this interaction. When you get home, you will try to forget this ever even happened.

"Wait, little one! Don't go! I would love to have tea with you." Whoa, what? You mean, you didn't just completely ruin your chance of having a beautiful friendship with this monster? "Here let me give you my number." And now they were giving you their number?? Maybe they hadn't met any other humans so they didn't know how you were definitely at the bottom of the barrel from humans to choose to be friends with... but hey, you were making a friend! This was good! This was definitely a good thing!

You both exchanged numbers (the monster's phone looked huge, no doubt because of how enormous the monster was). and you quickly set a time and a date for the tea party as you already caused this monster to lose a lot of time for shopping by talking to you. By the time you left the market, you felt lighter, and you walked with a certain pep in your step. As you walk, you try to smile at every person and monster you see. Having one interaction with a monster left you with a feeling that maybe you could do this. You could become happy again. It's been a while, but you certainly feel like you're getting there!

Opening the door to your small apartment, you drop your keys in the bowl next to your door. After kicking off your shoes and setting your groceries on the counter, you settle down onto your couch with a sigh. Today had been a good day. You wonder if this new monster friend will stay with you. They were so nice, and you were... well, you were certainly something. Thinking back on the interaction you had with the monster, you feel like you forgot to do something. "Oh shit, I forgot to tell them my name!" Quickly pulling out your phone, you head to the newest contact (and besides your boss's number and a few of your family's numbers, your contact list is empty)... Huh, they named themselves 'Asgore'... Why do you feel like that's something you should remember? Shaking away those thoughts, you quickly type out your message.


Hey! This is that human you met in the market... the one that was buying tea?? I totally forgot to introduce myself! I'm...

Hitting send, you flop back down onto your couch. Hopefully, Asgore wouldn't see your blunder as rude and stop talking to you. You look over at your groceries. Besides tea, you bought some per-made dinners, ranch, and a few juices. You were kind of strapped for cash right now as you had just recently got this apartment... and that took a lot out of your savings. A few months ago, you wouldn't have had to go out of your way to rent an apartment. A few months ago, you wouldn't have had to go out of your way to make friends. The sound of your phone receiving a text lifted you out of your thoughts.


It is alright, little one. I have forgotten to introduce myself as well! My name is Asgore Dreemurr. I would also like inquire about the name you gave yourself on my phone. You put yourself under as 'cute-tea'?

Oh god, you remembered that. Why did you do that again? Oh yeah, cause you thought it would be funny. You really needed to work on your impulse control.


oof, uh, it's supposed to be like a joke? cause I'm cute.. and you like tea? lol

Did you really just text this very proper monster... lol? You threw your phone down on the couch before covering your face with your hands, groaning. You were a total idiot! It was official! When people look up the word idiot in the dictionary, your picture was right there! "Why do you even try?" You mutter to yourself before grabbing your phone to see what Asgore had said. You dug your grave, and now you were going to lie in it.


Ah, a pun! My ex-wife was rather fond of those... It has been a long time since I've heard one directed towards me. But enough about that, what does this L-O-L mean?

Oh dear god, Asgore was fucking adorable. He didn't know what lol meant, and he wears Hawaiian shirts. He reminded you of a dad, and looking at the ex-wife comment, it could be that he is a dad. Snickering to yourself, you take the opportunity to change Asgore's name on your phone.


it means 'laugh out loud'

Dad Guy

Ah, I see! lol, that is very interesting. Well, it was nice talking to you, little one. I will look forward to speaking to you tomorrow!

Holy shit, he wanted to talk to you tomorrow... You actually made a friend! Speaking of which, it was killing you that Asgore was so familiar. You were sure you had never seen him before, but yet there was something about him that made you feel like you had. Looking down at your phone, you shrugged before searching up Asgore's name on the internet, and what came up was interesting to say the least. You devoured the content you found, and you could feel yourself start to shake.

"Holy shit." You look up, a dumbfounded look on your face. "I just befriended the King of All Monsters."