“Hello new planet!“, Missy shouted while jumping out of the TARDIS, her boots stomping into extraterrestrial mud. It was blue and slimy and immediately splashed onto her skirt and the persons behind her.
“Be a bit more careful, wouldn’t you?!”, Nardole complained while scratching the blue mud from his pants.
“Darling, the whole planet is covered in slime.” Missy took a few steps. They all made an uncomfortable sound like a snail getting squished. “Oh, this is nice! We could do a mud fight for the boys.” Missy winked at Bill.
“Thanks… but no thanks.” The young black woman looked at the Doctor. “What is this stuff?”
The Doctor, who had been running his hand through the blue mud, looked up at her. “Interesting question! Excellent question!” He stood up again. “I have no idea.”
“Oh you silly boy, always fell asleep in class.” Missy rolled her eyes. “It’s highly intelligent melted ectoplasmatic… snow.” Missy run a hand through the slime and then threw the result at the Doctor. “Snowball fight!”
Of course it wasn’t a ball, the melted slime wasn’t able to be a ball. But the thrown mud hit the Doctor right in the face, slowly running down his cheek.
“Are you completely mad now?!”, Nardole yelled.
“I’m bananas!” Missy giggled until a handful of slime hit her right in the face.
“Gotcha!”, the Doctor laughed at her surprised face.
“Oh you…!” Seconds later Missy and the Doctor were fighting each other, both already covered in blue slimy mud from head to toe.
“Is it just me or is the Doctor… I don’t know… much more relaxed since she’s with us?”, Bill asked Nardole while ducking from a slime-throw.
“Relaxed.” Nardole huffed. “She just makes him do idiotic things.”
“But look at him. He’s smiling.”
Nardole sighed loudly. “Yes… and he hasn’t looked that happy in ages, alright, alright. But still…”
“Just let them have some fun. They’ve both been trapped on earth for to long I think.” Bill smiled a little. “And I’m actually starting to like her somehow.”
“You’re just as insane as the two of them.”, Nardole grumbled.
“Maybe I am.” And with those words Bill took a handful of mud and threw it into Nardole’s face. He took a disgusted breath.
“That…!” But before Nardole could say anything the mud suddenly started to glow. It switched between blue and green like a pulse.
“What is happening?”, Bill asked, looking at the Doctor and Missy.
Missy was laying in the mud and it slowly wrapped itself around her body. The Doctor wanted to free her, but she lifted her hand. “Stop.”
“But it’s… doing things with you.”, the Doctor complained.
“I know. But it doesn’t want to hurt me.”
“Wait… that snow is alive, and we’ve been throwing it around all the time?!” The Doctor crossed his arms.
“Oh shut up, it likes attention.” Missy rolled her eyes.
“Doctor!”, Bill yelled suddenly when the snow wrapped itself around her as well.
“Be still!”, Missy sighed. “It is like… a gynaecologist.”
“A what?!” Bill gave her an unbelieving look. “Is it going to be…?” She looked down.
“Oh hell no. That would be gross. No, it’s just tracking female lifeforms and then gives them a free health check. You’re welcome.”
“Is that why you wanted to come here?” The Doctor lifted an eyebrow.
“Hey, health checks are important. Oh look. You’re already done.” She smiled at Bill who got released from the slimy touch again.
“And what now? Do I get a certificate or something?”
“No dear, you’re healthy and fine. It only gives you a message if you…” Missy gulped when the snow around her suddenly turned pink.
“What is happening? What does that mean?”, the Doctor asked.
“Well, if something… in your body… different colours for different…” Missy took a deep breath. None of them had seen her like this before.
“Do you know what it means?! What is wrong with you?” The Doctor sounded concerned now.
“I’m okay honey, nothing to worry about.” Missy freed herself from the slime and got up again.
“But it changed colours.”, Bill said.
“Right…” Missy wiped the snow off her skirt.
“Missy.” The Doctor took her hand. “Tell me.”
“It’s nothing. Really. Just…”
“Oh look what I found.” Nardole pointed at a sign that was standing near them. It was a chart that showed different colours with explanations behind them.
“Okay, time to go now!” Missy wanted to shove them back into the TARDIS, but the Doctor pinned her hands on her back and pushed her over to the sign, followed by Bill and Nardole.
“Oh here we have it.”, Nardole said, pointing at the chart. “Pink means…” His eyes widened, and he looked at Missy and the Doctor. “No… you didn’t…!”
The Doctor looked at the sign for himself and then back at Missy, seemingly in shock.
Bill also read the chart and took a sharp breath. “You’re pregnant?!”
Missy rolled her eyes. “Seems like it…”
“But how? When…?” Bill asked in confusion until she realised the obvious. “You two…?”
“Did you know it? Is that why we came here?”, The Doctor asked quietly.
“I didn’t know. I had a suspicion and I wanted to be sure.”
“Oh wonderful.” Nardole crossed his arms. “If you have to… get busy at least use protection!”
“Next time we will.”, Missy said with a smile. “Made from your skin.”
“So… are you a couple now?”, asked Bill.
“Yes.”, said Missy.
“No.”, said the Doctor.
“No?” She crossed her arms and pouted. “Mean.”
“We need to talk. Alone.” The Doctor grabbed Missy’s hand and pulled her back into the TARDIS. Of course, Bill and Nardole were following them. It wasn’t hard to overhear their loud conversation.
“Are you sure it’s mine?”, the Doctor asked.
“Really?” Missy placed her hands on her hips. “Yes, I am sure. Because you are the only one I had in centuries!”
“But that was only one time…”
“Well, surprise, that’s enough!” Missy crossed her arms.
“Missy…” The Doctor ran a hand through his hair. “I… I don’t think I can… after…”
Missy’s mien changed within a second and she carefully took the Doctor’s hand. “We don’t have to keep it… It’s easy to…”
“No.” The Doctor looked at her. “Don’t kill it. I beg you.”
“I was thinking about giving it away to an orphanage, actually.”
The Doctor looked at her for a while. “You really have changed.”, he finally said.
She smiled a little. “I do my best.”
With a bit of hesitation, the Doctor grabbed her face with his hands and placed a short kiss on her lips. “You’re the mother, you decide what to do.”
“We’ll find a good place where it can grow up.” She closed her eyes. “That place isn’t with us. We’d be terrible parents… And besides… you know that we can’t…”
“Bullshit.”, Bill said. Both timelords turned around to face her. “My mother died when I was a baby and I would have done anything to grow up with her. It’s not important if you are afraid or don’t feel good enough. Children need their family.”
“Oh. What a lovely speech.” Missy winked. “But you see…” She took a few steps towards her. “I am still a mass murderer who’s wanted in pretty much every place of the universe. Doctor already lost more than one child and he’s very sensitive about that topic. We aren’t even a couple, we just got a bit too excited for once. Besides, we’re outlaws that travel the universe in a blue box. That’s no place for an innocent child. Also… it’s just impossible.”
Bill hesitated for a second. “Then stop being outlaws in a blue box.”
Now Missy and the Doctor were both looking at her and Bill shrugged. “At least until it’s grown up.”
“You… you don’t know anything about timelord pregnancy, do you?”, Missy asked, waving her arm in an explaining gesture. “It’s not as ridiculous as your human system though. Splashing half of your organs out with the child… what a dumb system.”
“So how does it work?”
“A timelord can only be born in the vortex.”, the Doctor answered. “But it’s taking him much longer to be born than a human.”
“Or her.”, Missy threw in.
“Or her.” The Doctor nodded.
“And?” Bill looked at them, shrugging.
“Well, the vortex to give birth is on Gallifrey.”, the Doctor sighed.
“And if they find out that the Doctor and me are having a child…” Missy shook her head. “They won’t allow her to be born.”
“Or him.”, the Doctor said.
“Or him.”, Missy agreed.
“But… they can’t do that!” Bill looked back and forth between them.
“They can.”, the Doctor said.
“And they will.” Missy looked down on her Victorian boots. “Giving birth takes about six human months. It’s impossible to hide it from them.”
“Isn’t there another vortex on another planet… anything…?”, Bill asked quietly.
Missy took a step forward and placed one hand on her cheek. “This affection… it’s wonderful.”
Bill blinked. “Excuse me?”
“You really care about us.” A single tear dripped down the timelady’s cheek.
“Hormones.” The Doctor pulled Missy away.
“What?” Missy looked at him. “You wanted me to be more empathic and now you’re blaming my hormones?!”
The Doctor sighed. “Let’s just go back to the university and take a thinking break.” He walked over to the control panel and started the TARDIS.
“Yeah sure, just ignore me…”, Missy muttered barely audible, but Bill could hear it.
“He is just unable to cope for now.”, she said, giving Missy a reassuring smile.
“It’s not like I am.” Missy let herself fall on her favourite spot, where a pile of books was waiting to be read.
“Are you okay?”, Bill asked carefully.
“No but thank you.” Missy smiled and grabbed a book, not reacting to anyone anymore.
“You should be with her now!”, Bill insisted.
“I can’t believe you… you did this with her!”, Nardole complained.
Both were talking to the Doctor, who was sitting at his desk in the office. Missy stayed in the TARDIS. with her book. She did that often but never under such circumstances.
“Shut up!”, the Doctor finally yelled, stopping the flood of words hitting him. “I am searching for a solution of the problem and you aren’t helpful.”
“Problem?!” Bill pointed at the TARDIS. “She is pregnant!”
“Yes, I know!” The Doctor pinched his nose.
“Then your priority should be to care about her!”
“I do care about her!”
“I meant that literally.” Bill sighed and shook her head. “Go in there and talk to her.”
“I need to find a way how she can give birth!” The Doctor brushed over his face. “It’s my fault and I need to fix this.” He looked at Nardole. “Order some books. Everything about birth on Gallifrey. Hurry!”
Nardole shook his head but left the office.
“Doctor.” Bill sat down next to him. “Do you want to tell me what happened?”
He looked at her for a few moments. “I thought you knew about…”
“Doctor!” Bill shook her head. “Not that part.”
“Right.” The Doctor sighed. “After Missy’s test succeeded I gave her a room in the TARDIS. She’s tired of living in the vault all the time, so I gave her another place to be.” He cleared his throat. “Anyway, when I came in to look after her she just had showered and… still wasn’t wearing clothes.” He clenched his jaw.
“You’re so easy to get?”
“No. But she started flirting with me. And it’s Missy. She is… special. I didn’t intend to…” He shook his head.
“You don’t have to be ashamed. You’re a grownup.” Bill rested her hand on his shoulder.
“She played me. And that made me mad. So, I left. But now we both have to live with the consequences.”
“Well, maybe she didn’t play you.” Bill stood up and looked out of the window.
“She manipulated me into doing this.”
“How? With flirting?” Bill looked back at him. “That’s called love.”
The Doctor took a breath, ready to day something, but then his eyes widened. “You… you think she loves me?”
“Have you ever seen how she looks at you? That’s no manipulation. She just flirted with you and hoped for the best. At least that’s how I see it.”
“Excuse me.” The Doctor immediately entered the TARDIS. Missy wasn’t sitting in her reading spot anymore, so he went to her room. The hallway was filled with a melancholic piano melody and he could hear Missy sing.
“…I light another candle, dry the tears from my face. Nothing protects me more than my mother’s warm embrace…”
He carefully opened the door and entered the room. Missy was sitting at her smell piano, the second one, since her large one was still in the vault, and played a lullaby. Her face was wet with tears. Her fingers were trembling and her voice shaking, which made the melody a bit insecure.
The piano made an unmelodic sound as her body twitched. “I… didn’t hear you come.” She said, hastily drying her face.
“I… think we need to talk.” The Doctor sat down next to her.
“Well… we already did.” Missy looked at her black fingernails. “Any ideas about the birth problem?”
“Nardole orders some books. I’m not… that familiar with the topic.”
“At least you already had kids.”
“Not myself. And we could just go to the vortex.”
Missy nodded. “The Doctor and the Mistress. I think our child should be called Dogdress.”
“Please… be serious.” The Doctor took her hand.
“Serious…” Missy looked at their now entwined fingers. “We have about three years left to find a solution. Otherwise…”
“Otherwise you’ll have to kill it.”
“Otherwise I’ll die.” She looked in his eyes and he knew that she was serious. There was motherlove in her gaze.
“I won’t let that happen. I’ll find a solution. I promise.” The Doctor pulled her into a hug. It took a few seconds before Missy returned it, her body’s weight leaning against him now. He could feel her shaking fingers burying themselves in his coat. She was scared.
“It’s going to end well. I promise.”, he said quietly.
“Don’t make promises you can’t keep.” Her voice was a mixture of smiling and crying.
“I will keep it.” The Doctor moved back to look into her eyes. They were wet from all the tears. “I swear, I will do anything.”
There was moment of silence. The Doctor hadn’t expected this answer. Missy just nodded and moved away from him again.
“I’d prefer to be alone now.”, she said while standing up from the piano bench.
“Please go.” She let herself fall on the bed. “My hormones are acting up.”
The Doctor stood up, but he didn’t leave. He just laid down next to Missy and pulled her in a warm embrace. She didn’t protest. In contrary, she rested her head on his chest and closed her eyes.
“I never wanted to hurt you.”, he said quietly.
“That’s a lie.”
Missy let out a quiet laugh. “I’m a big girl. I can handle.”
“I just want you to know that you did good. With changing. With everything. And I’m glad to have my friend back.”
Missy looked up at him with a light smile on her face. “Me too.”