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Language:
English
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Published:
2018-06-13
Updated:
2022-09-28
Words:
73,148
Chapters:
13/?
Comments:
70
Kudos:
128
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23
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3,723

Sweeter Than Fiction

Summary:

‘Morgan, check this out!’ Alex held up the stolen lute and strummed a chord. ‘We’re bards!’

Alex grinned, but Morgan stared back in horror.

‘No. That’s a stupid plan. Do you even know any songs?’

‘I...um. Well, my ex was obsessed with Taylor Swift, so I taught her how to play some of her songs. So, yeah. I can play Taylor Swift songs.’

...

Two friends, Alex and Morgan, fell asleep in Melbourne, Australia and woke up in Thedas. Alex has a bold and ridiculous plan for how they’re going to survive and get protection from the Inquisition, but it all hangs on whether they can win favour with the as yet unknown Inquisitor.

A story of trust, political intrigue, and bullshitting your way to a better tomorrow, lovingly combined with a tale of unexpected romance.

This fic is based on a dream I had where a friend and I woke up in Thedas. Therefore I take full responsibility for the main character’s weird plan, because it was dream-me’s actual idea.

Chapter 1: ...Ready For It?

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Melbourne held a special place in Alex’s heart. She watched the sprawling city grow larger beneath her as her plane descended, visually tracing the criss-crossing patterns of transport networks and familiar skyline.

She’d made this trip from Sydney to Melbourne many times; for work, Uni, but most often to visit her High School friends. A year out from school they each moved to Sydney and Melbourne in turn, desperate to escape their country hometown. They needed to live in a place that was bigger, livelier, and gayer.

On this particular occasion Alex was visiting her friend Morgan, or as Alex often called her, Morgs (Alex was fond of nicknames). Once she landed and took her phone off flight mode, she messaged her friend, ‘YO MORGAN I AM IN UR CITY AND EXCITED TO SEE UR PRETTY FACE!!!!’

‘Excited to see YOUR pretty face!’ Morgan replied. ‘You’re getting to Southern Cross at 3 yeah?’

‘Actually, judging by the position of the sun and phase of the moon, I’m running late. I misjudged how long it takes to get to Southern Cross from the airport. SORRY I AM ALWAYS LATE MORGS. I DON’T UNDERSTAND HOW TIME WORKS.’

‘Haha, alright, just message me when you’re on the Skybus.’

‘OK WILL DO. SORRY I SUCK. I OWE YOU SO MUCH BOOZE. I AM THE WORST.’

Alex rushed from the airport terminal and booked a ticket on the Skybus; the overpriced and often overcrowded bus to the city. She dragged herself and her luggage on board and made the 20 minute commute.

Alex craned her neck to get a better look out the window as the bus pulled into Southern Cross Station, searching for Morgan in the crowd. She soon spotted Morgan’s tell-tale black hair and her tote bag that had the gorgeous Dorian Pavus art on it.

She bolted from the bus and ran screaming towards Morgan, who turned to see Alex hurtling towards her and screamed back. They crashed together in a tight hug.

This was typical of their reunions.

The train trip from Southern Cross to Morgan’s house was spent catching up on life, griping about the Summer heat and excitedly swapping stories about their Dragon Age OCs.

‘Please show me your sweet boy Seren again when we get to yours, Morgs. I love him so much!’

‘He is very pretty.’

‘Pretty and an adorable puppy! Are you up to any romance scenes with him and Cassandra yet? They’re super cute.’

‘I think I am, yeah. I haven’t done Wicked Eyes Wicked Hearts yet, so there’s the dance scene.’

‘YES PLEASE I WOULD LIKE TO SEE THAT VERY MUCH.’

Morgan booted up the PS4 as soon as they got to her place. Alex ducked into the kitchen and retrieved numerous bottles of liquor and mixer. In a matter of minutes Morgan’s sweet boy Seren Trevelyan was staring back at them from the TV with his stunning purple eyes. His dark brown hair was swept back from his tan features, silverite sword and shield gleaming in the sun.

‘Ah, so pretty. You did such a great job!’

‘Thank you. He is very nice to look at.’

Over the course of the next few hours, Morgan guided Seren through the Winter Palace, intermittently mincing words with nobles and spraying the blood of Venatori conspirators across various polished surfaces. A lot of booze was consumed by the time she reached Seren’s dance with Cassandra.

‘I can’t fucking believe Cass is straight,’ Alex slurred at the TV. ‘She gives off major Queer vibes.’

‘Y-yep,’ Morgan hiccuped. ‘I mean, I love Seren now, but it sucked making a dude Inquisitor so I could romance Cass.’

‘Right?! Bioware are dirty liars. She’s totally Queer.’

‘And this dance scene is so fucking cute. Her whole romance is perfect and cute. Have I showed you the bit where Seren makes her a surprise picnic and reads her poetry?’ Morgan then cast a sideways smirk at Alex. ‘It’s much better than the Ferelden bog date.’

Alex cringed. ‘Look, I hate myself for romancing Cullen, ok? I hated him SO MUCH in Dragon Age 2. Like seriously, I’d roll up to him at the Gallows yelling “what up TEMPLAR SCUM!” at my TV.’

‘So why did you romance him?’

‘I…’ Alex tried and failed to find the words. ‘I dunno. I feel conflicted about it. But still, it was really hard to not romance him in my Kya playthrough I just finished.’

‘Kya the rage mage?’

Alex laughed. ‘Yup, that’s the one. Kya “There can be no peace!” Trevelyan. She's fucking ruthless, but that makes her really fun to play. She’s also suuuuper gay, so she romanced Sera. I hadn’t seen the full romance before, so that was kinda cool, but still. Fucking Cullen. I hate him but also I wish he was a real person who loved me.’

‘You sure? Cass is way better.’

‘Obviously,’ Alex agreed. ‘But the heart wants what it wants, and mine is a fucking idiot.’

More alcohol was imbibed over the following hours, to the point where their conversation took a turn for the philosophical.

‘Hey Morgan, do you believe in multiverse theory?’

Morgan frowned. ‘Dunno, seems like a cool idea. Why?’

‘Like...like y’know how there’s poss’bly infinite universes? What...what if, in some universe, Cass and Cullen are real people? And Kya and Seren as well? And like, our choices in the game affect their world? I mean, here we are being like “I can do what I want in this game cos there’s no real-life consequences” but what if there are real-life consequences?’

Morgan fixed Alex with a puzzled look. ‘What?’

‘Yeah...yeah I thought I was making sense, but no.’

Morgan let out a long yawn. Alex echoed her yawn instinctually and suddenly realised how tired she was. She stretched and climbed to her feet.

'Time for bed?'

'Yeah, probs for the best. Do you wanna grab some blankets and stuff for the couch? I can help set you up.'

'Pfff fuck that,' Alex said dismissively. 'I'm happy to bunk with you as always, save making up another bed. I warn you though, apparently I snore. That wasn't a fun thing to discover the morning after a hot hook-up.'

Morgan scoffed. 'Don't worry, I do too. We can snore together.'

'Rad, we’ll be a snoring duet!'

They packed up the PS4 and bottles of booze. When they settled into Morgan's bed a little later Alex turned over to stare at her friend.

'Dude, what if in some other universe, we are real people in Thedas?!'

'Fucking go to sleep Alex.'

'Ok, goodnight. Love you.'

'Love you too, weirdo.'

Alex rolled over, facing the window. The faint yellow glow of a street lamp filtered in through a small gap in the blinds. Morgan's room stretched out beneath her, a jagged landscape of objects made indistinguishable by the low light. As she drifted off to sleep she imagined herself riding across the Frostbacks on her favourite Inquisition mount, a dracolisk. She welcomed the chill breeze against her face and the slight sting of snow fall. Her form was adorned with crimson bloodstone armour, emblazoned with the Inquisition crest. She felt free and invincible.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Alex was fucking freezing.

She groaned in her barely-awake daze, eyes screwed shut against the sudden bright light streaming in through the window. December shouldn't be this cold, she thought. It was just unnatural.

'Morgan, where’s the blankets? Did you open the blinds? It's too early dude, let’s go back to sleep.'

Morgan didn't answer.

Alex went to reach across the bed to grab the thick doona, but her hand landed in powdery ice. Her eyes flew open as she sat bolt upright.

'DUDE WHAT THE FUCK-'

Her words were swallowed in a wave of shock. The ground beneath her was a bed of thick, sparkling snow. Pine trees dotted the landscape and soaring mountains spread out far into the distance. She was sat on a rocky outcropping. Splayed out in the valley below was what looked to be a medieval-type village. Thatched roofs bowed slightly under the weight of snow, and hunched individuals clothed in thick furs were hobbling around cobblestone streets lined with horse-drawn carts. There were no cars. No power lines. And a large Inquisition banner hung from what could be a village hall.

'Alex!’

Morgan crashed into her line of sight, grabbing her shoulders. Her cheeks were rosy from the cold and her expression was incredulous.

‘WE'RE IN THEDAS!’

Notes:

Hello. I don't know what I'm doing.

Kudos, Comments and Constructive Criticism are highly welcome and I appreciate you so much for reading this!!!

I hope you've enjoyed this ridiculous romp so far, and I can promise that it's only gonna get weirder.