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Terrible Pick-Up Lines

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"I'd like to get off on your exit." Jackson looked up, eyes wide. "I've been checking you for four score and seven day."

Jackson smirked, these pick up lines were absolutely terrible.

"Can I borrow a kiss? I promise I'll give it back."

Jackson checked out the blonde boy with the terrible lines for a few seconds. He was definitely fit, and the way his shirt stretched acrossed his pecs, it should be illegal. Jackson thought it was Ethan, one of the new kids who'd started two weeks ago.

"Is your dad a preacher? Because, damn boy, you are a blessing."

Did he have all of these memorized?

Jackson leaned back in the chair, while still looking at Ethan, he was able to see that they were starting to gather a crowd.

Ethan plowed on, unfazed, "People call me Ethan, but you can call me tonight." Ethan slid a small piece of paper across the table, giving it to Jackson. Jackson glanced at it, it was Ethan's number.

"Roses are red violets are blue I didn’t know what perfect was until I met you." Ethan wasn't actually looking at Jackson, instead he was looking right above his left shoulder. That and the small blush on his cheeks was the only indication that the boy was nervous. "You're so hot you must've started global warming."

That one made Jackson smile. "Somebody call the cops, because it's got to be illegal to look that good!" Ethan paused, glancing at Jackson before looking away just as quickly, cheeks turning darker.

"I think it is time I tell you what people are saying behind your back." Ethan paused, for dramatic effect, before loudly saying, "Nice Ass!"

Jackson saw several teachers look up from the teachers' table. "Did you sit in a pile of sugar? Because you've got a pretty sweet ass."

He saw Harris get up, and slowly make his way towards them. "Is that a shovel in your back pocket? Cuz I'm diggin' dat ass!"

Harris was getting closer, and Jackson wished he'd turn around and go sit back down. "My two favorite things are commitment and changing myself."

Harris put his hand on Ethan's shoulder, but Ethan shrugged him off, instead speeding up, trying to get as many pick up lines out as possible. "There are 20 angels in the world 11 are playing, 8 are sleeping and 1 of them is standing in front of me."

Harris tried to pull him to the office again, "You may fall from the sky, you may fall from a tree, but the best way to fall... is in love with me."

For once in his life, Jackson regretted choosing the table farthest from the teachers' table... because it was also the table closest to the office. Harris had finally wrangled Ethan into the office, only for Ethan to pop back out and tell one more line out, "You're so beautiful you made me forget my pick up line."

The bell rang just as he finished and was once again tugged away, no doubt about to get detention for saying 'ass' loudly and several times in the commons.

Jackson waited until after school to finally text him, 'Have those terrible pick-up lines worked out for you anytime before?'

'First time for everything.'

'Pick me up @ 6 for dinner.' Adding his address at the end.

'What's on the menu?'

Jackson grinned, he was never one to pass up a perfectly good opportunity, 'Me-n-u.'

Ethan sent back a laugh-crying emoji and a thumbs up.

Jackson pocketed his phone, not responding. After all, he had a date to get ready for.

 •  • •


The date went well. So well in fact that when Ethan dropped him off, Jackson invited him inside.  "Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package."  


Jackson rolled his eyes, leading Ethan up to his room, while also throwing his shirt off, which made Ethan say, "Do you like bacon? Wanna strip?" 

As soon as they walked through Jackson's bedroom door, he turned on Ethan, pressing him against the door, "Do you have a mirror in your pocket? 'Cause I could see myself in your pants." Jackson quipped. 

Ethan laughed, "Fuck." 

And that's exactly what they did.