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7 Boys and a Groupchat (AKA a mess)

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Petty Jin & Company


Thing 2: Laurel or Yancy. I say laurel

Thing 1: I think it’s Yancy

Thing 2: well you’re wrong- it’s laurel

Thing 1: Fight me bitch

Thing 2: Lets go, time and place

Thing 1: my bed, 4pm sharp

Thing 2: Alright, watch me pin you down

Thing 1: not if i get on top of you first and rock your world

Thing 2: BET

Cooky: d-did yall just plan a sex meet up?

Yoongles: can you not on the group chat

Dancing Machine: hyung why can’t we be like this?

Yoongles: ...

Mr. Leader-nim: Hobi P L S

Yoongles: I mean if you want

Mr. Leader-nim: HYUNG P L S

Mr. World Wide: why are you blowing up my phone? 

Mr. World Wide: Wtf Jimin and tae I don’t want to read about your sexcepades 

Thing 1: Then don’t read

Mr. Leader-nim: take that to PMs man 

Thing 2: *dramatic pause* No

Cooky: anyways, I think it’s Yancy

Yoongles: no one cares

Mr. World Wide: exactly

Dancing Machine: its laurel

Yoongles: yeah it’s laurel

Mr. World Wide: Bitch-

Cooky: Yoongi hyung switches sides faster than Jimin getting a new ult bias

Thing 1: That’s below the belt kook

Dancing Machine: LMAOO

Mr. Leader-nim: it’s whipped culture

Yoongles: Agree to disagree

Mr. World Wide: So then yes

Dancing Machine: Yes :)

Yoongles: Hoseok don’t fucking expose me

Thing 2: Hyung you exposed yourself like 2 years ago BYE

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Petty Jin & Company


Mr. World Wide: Alright fess THE FUCK UP WHO DID IT!?

Dance Machine: ????

Thing 1: wut

Thing 2: what?

Cooky: pardon?

Yoongles : ??


Thing 1: Jungkook did it

Cooky: Bitch I breathed?

Thing 2: disappointed but not surprised

Cooky: IT WASN’T ME!

Dancing Machine : It wasn’t me I haven’t been to your dorm in a few days.

Mr. World Wide: Yoongi did you do it?

Yoongles: Do I look like I have a death wish?

Thing 1: Kinda

Yoongles: No I didn’t eat it

Mr. World Wide: Alright maknae line which one of you little shits did it

Cooky: again- it WASN’T me. Go look at the thirsty hoes duo

Thing 1: Tae would never do such a heinous crime

Thing 2: Jiminie is an angel

Mr. World Wide: those statements are so farfetch'd now I really think one of you did it

Thing 2: I didn’t do it!

Mr. World Wide: Someone better fess up

Dancing Machine: yo hyung is about to get pissed and I don’t want to be collateral damage

Mr. Leader-nim: What’s going on?

Thing 1: I didn’t eat the ramen!!

Mr. Leader-nim: Oh! 

Mr. Leader-nim: Hyung it was me. I came over super late and was half asleep when I ate I didn’t think about it i’m sorry :(

Mr. World Wide: Oh, Joon you should have said something earlier! There was food in the mini fridge you could have eaten instead of instant food.

Mr. Leader-nim: My bad

Thing 1: So... no one’s dying?

Mr. World Wide: I would never kill Namjoon.

Yoongles: You mean to tell me you made a big deal out of this and then just let it go because it was Namjoon??

Thing 2: Whipped Culture

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Petty Jin & Company


Dancing Machine: [Photo]

Dancing Machine: I love a man

Mr. Leader-nim: Pls hobi hold your thirst, it’s too early for this.

Dancing Machine:  It’s never too early to thirst. What do you think morning rounds are for?

Cooky: boi, thicc™

Thing 1: hot damn

Thing 2: uh, excuse me?

Thing 1: Taehyungie, babe, you’re the light of my life

Mr. World Wide: Is that my Yoongles? When did he suddenly grow up??

Yoongles: What?

Yoongles: Hoseok where did you even get that?

Dancing Machine: I have my sources

Thing 1: *Himself

Dancing Machine: You fucking SNAKE

Cooky: ooo Jimin hyung that’s not good you know he doesn’t like snakes

Thing 2: *snakeus

Mr. Leader-nim: Oh god

Thing 2: uwu

Mr. Leader-nim: STOP

Yoongles: I’m leaving

Dancing Machine: :(((

Yoongles: …. Ok I’ll stay

Mr. World Wide: I don’t know what happened but aye Yoongi get those gains.

Mr. Leader-nim: Hoseok being a hoe at 9AM is what happened

Dancing Machine: It’s not hoeing if your affections are projected to a single person

Cooky: *your thirsts


Mr. World Wide: Now you know how I feel when everyone gangs up on me when I gush about Namjoon.

Thing 1: nah hyung, you just sound like an old couple when you gush, it’s not fun

Mr. World Wide: ....

Mr. World Wide: Namjoon. Life would be bleak without you.

Cooky: oh god

Thing 2: look at what you did Jimbles

Mr. World Wide: You bring color into my world

Thing 1: STAHP

Mr. Leader-nim: Jin, i searched all these years to find the answer to life and then I found you.

Mr. Leader-nim: And it all made sense since then

Yoongles: This is what happens when you get Jin hyung on his petty mode

Dancing Machine: I just wanted to appreciate my boyfriend

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Petty Jin & Company



Thing 2: pics or it’s not real.

Thing 1:  [Photo] [Photo]


Dancing Machine: Stop this is cute i die

Yoongles: Are you following them or something?

Thing 1: NO i’m not that bad hyung. They just happened to be in the same area, I swear!

Mr. Leader-nim: Our fetus has grown, wow

Mr. World Wide: You think they’re on a date?

Dancing Machine: 5,000 won that they’re going bowling

Thing 2: Hyung you can’t bet facts. We all know he took Yugyeom bowling

Yoongles: It’s the only place he wouldn’t be a nervous wreck at

Mr. World Wide: He’d be too busy trying to win then flirt with the poor boy

Thing 2: winning > relationship progress

Thing 1: Or he could be trying to impress Yugyeom with his bowlings skills and epically fail

Thing 2: trying to impress and fail > winning > relationship progress

Mr. Leader-nim: I’m pretty sure Yugyeom would think that’s cute though

Dancing Machine: Knowing him, yeah. I’ve seen Jungkook missed a step while dancing because “Yugyeom is distracting.” Funny thing is, Yugyeom smiles to himself every time

Thing 1: wow he’s so powerful for that lmao

Mr. World Wide: He sounds like you before you and Tae finally got together

Thing 1: You don’t have to call me out like this

Mr. Leader-nim: I mean everyone is whipped for their boyfriend

Dancing Machine: No printer only fax

Thing 1: I think Hoseok is the only one who could say that and it not be corny


Thing 1: Oh hey Kookie, how was the date??

Dancing Machine: Yes give us the details

Yoongles: did you epic fail?

Mr. World Wide: We already know you went bowling so don’t bother stating that

Cooky: How???

Mr. Leader-nim: We raised you on our backs. Of course we would know

Cooky: It’s been like 2 years

Thing 2: Besides the point

Cooky: Ugh fine, I just taught him how to do some moves for bowling and then we ate, nothing special

Dancing Machine: Was it a date though?

Cooky: no… it was a hangout

Thing 1: just the two of you?

Cooky: Yeah

Yoongles: a date then

Cooky: NO

Mr. Leader-nim: I’m gonna text Jackson and see what he’s heard from Yugyeom


Mr. World Wide: Well either way, it’s one step closer to you finally not being constipated in the heart so congratulations on that Kookie

Cooky: I- I give up

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Petty Jin & Company


Mr. World Wide: I would like to announce that I am now single and ready to mingle

Cooky: WHAT

Thing 1: WTF


Yoongles: He’s probably just being petty

Cooky: What did joon hyung do?

Mr. World Wide: Oh other than not agree to go on a lunch date because he had “plans”, nothing :)

Yoongles: Like I said

Mr. Leader-nim: Hyung that’s not fair you asked me super last minute!!! I have to finish this song by the end of tomorrow i can’t take any breaks right now!!

Mr. World Wide: wow, choosing a song over me. Can’t believe you

Mr. Leader-nim: IT’S MY JOB


Thing 2: Pfft

Thing 1: Cold






Mr. World Wide: like WHAT

Mr. Leader-nim: LIKE A RING!

Cooky: OOF

Thing 2: BOIIII

Thing 1: Damn

Mr. Leader-nim: When the time comes I’m supposed to buy it, you can’t buy your own engagement ring what the hell kind of thing is that

Yoongles: more like what the hell kind of convo is this

Mr. World Wide: ....

Mr. World Wide: Okay I’m not single and ready to mingle anymore

Dancing Machine: Wtf did I just read?

Thing 1: A mess

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Petty Jin & Company


Mr. World Wide: So ... are we not going to discuss the elephant in the room?

Cooky: Elephant? In our digital chatroom?

Thing 1: Jungkook… please shut up

Mr. Leader-nim: What’s this about?

Thing 2: You mean Yoongi hyung punching that guy at the party last night?

Mr. World Wide: YES

Thing 1: Honestly I laughed, he deserved it

Cooky: That guy really came onto Hobi strong I was a little surprised

Mr. Leader-nim: I wouldn’t call it an elephant in the room Jin. Yoongi just defended his boyfriend.

Thing 2: Yoongi hyung literally knocked the guy out. That was more than defending that was CLAIMING STATUS

Dancing Machine: I picked the right man to be my soul partner

Yoongles: You guys are hyping me up too much. It’s not that serious

Cooky: If this was an ABO world, hyung would be a possessive alpha

Yoongles: Wtf

Thing 1: Bro you just took this shit left field sksksks wtf

Mr. World Wide: Leave the fic reading boy alone.

Thing 2: Okay but…. Who’s what in an ABO world?

Thing 1: oooh

Mr. Leader-nim: let the fic reader choose

Yoongles: I don’t wanna know

Dancing Machine: I’m curious!

Cooky: oooooh okay I got it.

Thing 2: yes yes yes

Cooky: Yoongi is a possessive alpha, Namjoon is that pushover alpha that no one understands how he got alpha status, Jimin and Tae are betas, Hobi is an omega, and honestly Jin hyung can be a beta or a dominating omega.

Mr. Leader-nim: How is this decided?

Cooky: I based this off how your dynamics are in real life. 

Mr. World Wide: Explain

Yoongles: Dear god

Cooky: Well we all know Hobi likes it up the butt and Yoongi really likes Hobi hyung’s so I mean that explains it all

Dancing Machine: You’re not wrong

Cooky: Sadly due to over sharing we know Jimin and Tae are kinky switching hoes, so betas

Thing 2: Ye

Thing 1 : Yee

Yoongles: We’re really having this convo?

Cooky: Seokjin bosses Namjoon around all the time and is a power bottom. So like i said. dominating omega and pushover alpha.

Mr. Leader-nim: I’m honestly scared to ask what you’ve read to have these kinds of developed thoughts

Cooky: Fanfics change you fam

Thing 2: Considering you have like 4 tabs on your phone, I would think it does.

Thing 1: Jungkook I see you as a beta

Cooky: Nah I see myself as an unnecessarily buff omega, it would throw people off lol

Dancing Machine: So then Yugyeom is your alpha?


Mr. World Wide: he’s not denying!!!!

Thing 2: Hyung broke him before he could lmaooo

Yoongles: can we please stop this convo?

Mr. Leader-nim: square



Dancing Machine changed Cooky to Beefy Omega


Thing 1: ok beefy omega

Beefy Omega: I hate this family

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Petty Jin & Company


Beefy Omega: So I know this is random but I need to know this for science.

Mr. World Wide: You don’t take a science course though?

Thing 1: It’s a joke hyung he just wants to know our opinion basically

Dancing Machine: What’s up?

Beefy Omega: Favorite Naruto ship, canon or crack, go

Yoongles: Are you for real?

Mr. Leader-nim: I liked all the possible relationships. But for canon I liked Shikatema

Thing 1: Naruhina

Thing 2: Narusaku

Thing 1: *le gasp* Taehyung!

Thing 2: Narusaku has legit development, don’t fight me on this

Thing 1: But Hinata always loved naruto, saw the greatness in him before anyone else!

Thing 2: okay and Narusaku had 500+ chapters of character growth and development together .

Thing 1: and in those 500+ chapters Sakura was still chasing Sasuke’s dick so don't @ me bro


Mr. World Wide: Look what you did Jungkook. 

Mr. World Wide: a nd I liked Nejiten but we saw how that turned out :’(

Mr. Leader-nim: Neji’s death was a hard one.

Dancing Machine: …. Sasuhina anyone?

Mr. World Wide: bitch what

Thing 2: Wtf

Thing 1: hyung… that’s way into the crack ship field

Beefy Omega: Hobi hyung…. You too?!

Thing 2: WTF

Mr. Leader-nim: plot twist

Beefy Omega: they just look appealing together and their demeanors are a nice combo

Dancing Machine: I’m guilty of being swayed by the nice fanart I won’t lie

Beefy Omega: The fics are nice even though it’s a small community

Thing 1: Sasuhina literally has one interaction, and it’s in a movie. Where are your heads?

Thing 2: “S-Sasuke kun!” “Shut up” That’s it. That’s the interaction.

Mr. Leader-nim: I mean Jungkook did say canon or crack.

Thing 2: If we’re talking fav crack ships then I go with Sasusaku

Yoongles: Didn’t they get together though?

Thing 1: They’re a joke so, crack ship.

Dancing Machine: Why can’t we just get along and enjoy all the ships?

Mr. World Wide: It doesn’t work that way

Dancing Machine: You guys are hating unnecessarily hard. Sasusaku is nice

Thing 1: Yeah if you look passed the fact Sasuke treated Sakura like shit and tried to kill the bitch 3 TIMES. But I mean if she can look passed it then i guess the fans can too.

Thing 2: agreed

Mr. Leader-nim: Well shit

Thing 1: Now I’m just mad. Thanks jungkook ://

Yoongles: Yo they’re fictional characters. Chill out.

Beefy Omega: You can’t control a shippers heart hyung. That’s Fanfic 101 right there

Mr. World Wide: Jimin ranting is my new favorite pastime

Thing 1: >:/

Thing 2: Narusaku is still superior

Thing 1: BOI

Dancing Machine: So… ShikaIno anyone?


Yoongles: end me now

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Petty Jin & Company


Thing 2: All women are queens!

Cooky: Random but I mean sure, do you

Thing 2: You… failed me Jungkook

Dancing Machine: HOw?

Yoongles: Are we missing something here?

Thing 2: D-Does no one know what i’m referencing?!




Cooky: W-wait IS THIS THAT VINE?!

Mr. Leader-nim: Isn’t it the one with the light sabers?

Thing 2: YES

Yoongles: this convo is irrelevant to my life so I’m leaving. Hope-ah let’s go get food

Dancing Machine: Okay!

Thing 1: You guys know nothing. It’s comedy gold

Thing 2: Tell them babe

Mr. World Wide: yo

Mr. World Wide: Shut up

Thing 1: squares, all of you

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Petty Jin & Company


Mr. World Wide: Since yall want to be bitches, petty jin is here and is about to give you cringe hell


Yoongles left Petty Jin & Company

Mr. World Wide added Yoongles to Petty Jin & Company


Mr. World Wide: Nice try bitch, now suffer

Yoongles: No please

Dancing Machine: yo i didn’t even do anything message the maknaes in a different chat.

Beefy Omega: have mercy on my soul hyung

Mr. World Wide: Nope everyone is getting it even my own mans

Mr. Leader-nim: Whaaat

Mr. World Wide: That’s what happens when you cross Kim Seokjin

Thing 1: it’s not our fault your feelings get hurt so easily

Thing 2: this is because he’s a sagittarius, fire sign and cousin to Aries, the petty sign

Mr. World Wide: YE so get ready for Dad Jokes hour

Yoongles: kill me now

Dancing Machine: 10 years of my life is about to get chopped off

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Petty Jin & Company


Beefy Omega: HYUNGS


Beefy Omega: MAYDAY 


Dancing Machine: Kook why are you blowing up my phone it’s only 10am

Thing 2: What did you fuck up so early in the morning?


Beefy Omega: BUT YUGYEOM

Thing 1: I saw Yugyeom’s name and came running 

Thing 1: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) what he do?



Dancing Machine: AWW

Yoongles: lol gay

Mr. World Wide: what did you do when he said that?

Thing 1: Probably panicked and skedaddled 

Beefy Omega: …….

Thing 1: Wait I was kidding ARE YOU SERIOUS KOOK

Beefy Omega: I'M NOT PROUD. It all happened so fast I just didn’t know how to react

Dancing Machine: So what happened exactly?

Beefy Omega: We were hanging out with the ‘97 liner gang and Bam said this joke and we all started laughing but then I did this weird ass snort and boiii was I embarrassed 

Beefy Omega: but then Yugyeom just went and moved my bangs out of my face WITH THIS SOFT ASS SMILE AND SAID “Don’t be shy it was cute.” You guys my heart literally jumped out of my chest and I'm sure i was cherry red. I fucking squeaked…. I FUCKING SQUEAKED AND RAN AWAY WITH SOME SHITTY EXCUSE.

Thing 2: Oh Kookie….

Yoongles: You’re the literal embodiment of “Panicked Gay.”

Beefy Omega: I-

Beefy Omega: I can’t even be mad at that it’s true

Mr. World Wide: Jungkook I really don’t understand why you won’t tell Yugyeom you like him. I’m like 95% sure it’s mutual attraction

Beefy Omega: Hyung, I’m a panicked gay I don’t know how to be confident with my feelings

Mr. Leader-nim: I just read this whole convo and I’m sorry but also so soft for you Jungkook.

Dancing Machine: So basically for a relationship to start between you guys, it has to be Yugyeom to do the first move?

Beefy Omega: I guess

Beefy Omega: But I honestly don’t think it’ll happen…

Sunshine line


Thing 1: So…. Are we meddling?

Dancing Machine: Oh yeah definitely

Thing 2: *slams fists on table* THANK GOD I CAN’T TAKE THIS UNNECESSARY PINING 

Thing 1: Hobi hyung you're closer to Yugyeom since he’s your mentee, are you going to talk to him?

Dancing Machine: Yeah I’ll do that sometime this week.

Thing 2: Jimothy and I will make sure Jungkook doesn’t notice.

Thing 1: Count on us!!

Dancing Machine: Alright, Operation: Get Jungkook a Man is a go!

Chapter Text

The music cut and the group of dancers fell to the floor. Hoseok smiled while facing the group, “Great work everyone. We’re gonna do our 30 minute break now and then practicing dance #5 and #6!” Jungkook sighed in relief. He loved Hoseok a lot, but the ravenhead tended to turn into a whole different being when it came to learning choreo. The older took his president position seriously.

He laid down spread eagle, eyes closed when a shadow covered him. He opened his eyes to find Jimin standing over him. The older male smiled, holding out a water bottle, “You alright there Kook?” The younger sat up huffing out, “I’m alive, just barely but alive.” Jimin sat down in front of him setting the bottle next to him. “Well Hobi hyung doesn’t play so nothing new.”

“Yeah I know.”

“HELLO beautiful people!” All the dancers looked over to the visitor and standing there with store bags was a grinning Taehyung. Hoseok smiled at the blonde, “Hey Taetae, 25 minutes before breaks ends.”

“Cool, I brought snacks for you guys.” Taehyung set the bags down on a table. “I’m off to my love now!”

Jungkook rolled his eyes while Jimin grinned at his boyfriend coming closer, “Tigger!”

“Jiminy Cricket!” Taehyung sat right next to the chestnut haired male, giving him a kiss on the cheek. Jungkook visibly cringed. “You Disney hoes are too much.”

“Hah,” Taehyung points his finger condescendingly, “You wish you were like us.”

“He would be if he stopped being a panicked gay.” Jimin deadpanned.

The redhead pouted, “You don’t have to come for me like that hyung.”

“I do when you try and insult our love for Disney.” The youngest rolled his eyes before they hovered over to the side where he saw Yugyeom and Hoseok talking. “Oh I should probably go over there.”

The couple looked over but Taehyung whipped back so fast Jungkook feared he would have whiplash. Jimin was right behind him, quickly gripping the redhead’s arm, “Stay.”

“But Hobi hyung is our mentor what if it’s important?” 

Taehyung piped in, “Hobi hyung would have called you if that was the case, don’t worry about it.” 

Jungkook didn’t look convinced but he sat down again, “Alright...”

Twenty minutes later Hoseok (sadly) called the members back to dancing. Taehyung gave a loud smooch on the lips to Jimin, dramatically waving goodbye to the rest. Jungkook shook his head once the door closed and Jimin sighed, “God I love him.”

Hoseok’s hand landed on Jimin’s shoulder, “Yes yes, we know , now get your ass in the front, you lead this number.”

“Y-Yes sir!”




Another two hours passed before club was finished. Everyone sighed in relief as they shuffled around to leave. Jungkook praised the lord and Jesus, his thighs finally done screaming in pain. Oh freedom’s never tasted so sweet .

At that point Jungkook was ready for a hot shower, and possibly a massage, if he could guilt trip Hoseok enough. He managed to grab his bag beginning to gravitate towards the door when someone grabbing his hand. He turned back, the blush instant when seeing it was Yugyeom. “Oh Yugy, hey.”

“Hey,” The younger ravenhead smiled sweetly, “can we talk for a second?”

“U-Uh yeah sure!” Jungkook readjusted his bag giving the other his full attention, “What’s up?” Yugyeom stood slightly stiff while he bit his lip, Jungkook tracing the motion unconsciously, “So- uh, do you wanna do a duet with me for the showcase?”

It was silent between the two. Jungkook’s brain short circuited. D-Duet? Us? “What?” 

“Do you wanna do a duet for the showcase- with me?”

“I-I thought we had our setlist though.” 

“Hyung told me there was space for another dance and he wanted me to do it!” 

Jungkook glanced over to Hoseok who was in front of the bulletin board messing around with the showcase plans. He decided to take Yugyeom’s word for it. But something was confusing him.  

“...Why me though?”

Now it was the younger’s turn to blush, eyes averting to the floor, “It’s never been just me and you, Jungie,” He rubbed his neck nervously, “Plus I thought it would be fun...” 

Oh. Jungkook was sure his face matched his hair color. Never been just me and you.

He realized he hadn’t answered yet, so he nodded enthusiastically at the younger, “Y-yeah! If you think we’ll be good, then sure.”

Yugyeom’s body completely relaxed, “Oh that’s great to hear.” He grinned at his friend, “I’ll text you later then so we can plan everything out!”

“Y-Yeah, sounds good.”

“I’m gonna go, Bambam is waiting for me.” Yugyeom pulled Jungkook into a light hug, “Thanks Jungie.”

“N-No problem.”

Petty Jin & Company



Yoongle: Uh, you alright fam?

Thing 2: Yeah he’s fine

Thing 1: He’s Yugyeom fanboying

Mr. Leader-Nim: What happened?

Beefy Omega: He asked me to do a duet with him for the showcase

Mr. World Wide: WHAt?!

Dancing Machine: Oh so he asked you. Cool I’ll put that on the showcase board.

Beefy Omega: I know!!!! I’m in shock too!

Mr. Leader-Nim: How did this even happen?

Beefy Omega: He came up to me after club and told me Hobi hyung had space for another dance so he gave it to Yugy. Yugyeom asked me to dance with him because, “It’s never been just me and you, Jungie” LIKE BITCH MY HEART


Mr. World Wide: And you said yes?

Beefy Omega: What was I gonna do? Say no?

Yoongles: I’m surprised you managed to even reply

Beefy Omega: Okay mood. But I didn’t want a repeat of the skedaddling so I said yeah.

Thing 1: He was a hot mess when Yugyeom hugged him and left though

Thing 2: Legit, his legs stopped working

Beefy Omega: You don’t have to call me out like this

Thing 1: Yes we do

Thing 2: Yes we do

Mr. World Wide: Did you make fun of their Disney love again?

Yoongles: Probably


Thing 1 changed Thing 1 to Jiminy Cricket

Jiminy Cricket changed Thing 2 to Tigger


Yoongles: See.

Mr. Leader-Nim: Well back to the main topic, Kook I’m proud of you. This is a good step in the right direction

Tigger: Same tho!

Jiminy Cricket: Yeah go get ya mans!

Beefy Omega: I’ll uh, I’ll try…. Thanks guys :)


Gigi to Seokseok


Gigi: You planned this, didn’t you

Seokseok: Yeah lmao

Gigi: You’re really something else babe

Seokseok: ;D

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Petty Jin & Company


Mr. World Wide changed Petty Jin & Company to #3YearsStrongYEET



Yoongles : what



Beefy Omega: Oh shit is that today?

Mr. Leader-Nim: Ah yes the day Jungkook came and completed our friend group

Beefy Omega: *read as “The day Hoseok adopted me”*

Yoongles: You’re not my child, I don’t claim you

Dancing Machine: You either have both of us, or none of us.

Yoongles: ….. 

Yoongles: shit


Beefy Omega changed Beefy Omega to Little Jung


Little Jung: I was tired of being beefy. I’d rather be Hobi Hyung’s baby boy

Dancing Machine: Awwww bbyyy

Tigger: lmaoo

Mr. World Wide: anyways, Saturday you are all welcomed to my room. I plan on buying take out and booze. For now we must celebrate through phone

Jiminy Cricket : Wine, hyung! Wine!

Mr. World Wide: Of course! I’m not a wine uncle for nothing!

Tigger: I’ll take a cherry coke please 

Jiminy Cricket: Anything you want hun.

Little Jung: So can we have a reminiscent convo? I realized I never ask how you guys all met before I came into the group

Dancing Machine: oh you’re right 

Yoongles: I mean I guess we can

Mr. World Wide: I like that!! Perfect way to celebrate 3 years!

Mr. Leader-Nim: who’s gonna explain everything

Jiminy Cricket: By order of who met who??

Mr. World Wide: so me first okay.

Mr. World Wide: So me and joon have been dating for a while now. Truth is we’ve known each other since high school and have been dating since his 3rd year. 

Little Jung: Wait really since high school???

Mr. Leader-Nim: Mhmmm

Mr. World Wide: I met Yoongi because we ended up being roommates my 2nd year here and as you know we’ve been roomies since.

Yoongles: Yeah and I heard he had a boyfriend who was going to be in Music Production too so I kept a lookout.

Mr. Leader-Nim: Yeah he instantly took me under his wing and we were a trio for a like a semester.

Dancing Machine: And then I came along~

Dancing Machine: I happened to be in charge of the showcase’s playlist so I went to the music department to ask them to mix everything. That’s where I met Yoongi and Namjoon 

Mr. Leader-Nim: that’s the day I saw Yoongi glow for the first time

Mr. World Wide: Oh yeah Yoongi deadass fell in love at first sight

Jiminy Cricket: awwww

Tigger: Yoongi Hyung is awfully quiet.

Yoongles: Honestly

Yoongles: I’m not gonna fight truth. I was stupidly whipped

Little Jung: ADJKKJFS

Little Jung: Yoongi being honest about his feelings??

Little Jung: I love this song!

Dancing Machine: it was the same for me! By the end of that semester we were dating! The next year I became a TA and that’s where I met Jimin.

Jiminy Cricket: funny thing is he was the TA but our professor had to go on maternity leave so Hyung basically taught the class 

Mr. World Wide: Was that even legal?

Dancing Machine: When you’re good like me yeah lol. But yeah after teaching for a few weeks I decided to bring Jimin into the friend group.

Yoongles: at the same time Taehyung was starting that semester too. And being his family I had to lookout for him so I brought him to the friend group also.

Little Jung: what

Tigger: what to what? 

Little Jung: f-FAMILY?!

Yoongles: ???

Jiminy Cricket: ??

Dancing Machine: ????

Mr. World Wide: ???????

Mr. Leader-Nim: Kook, they’re cousins

Little Jung: WHAT THE FUCK?!

Tigger: Wait you really didn’t know??

Little Jung: NO! NO ONE TOLD ME

Yoongles: Tragic


Little Jung: wait iM TRYING TO PROCESS

Jiminy Cricket: TOO BAD,,, ANYWAYS

Jiminy Cricket: we met through the hyungs and Tae has been my boo since

Yoongles: ew 

Tigger: Honestly it’s kinda crazy how quick we started dating 

Mr. World Wide: You were friends for literally 6 days and then on the 7th you told us “we’re a thing” like what the fuck

Dancing Machine: Not even “Hey we’re going to try out dating” it was literally, “We’re fucking, we’re a thing.” and Tae saying corny shit like “Couples Unite” I can’t even remember

Tigger: I wasn’t corny

Yoongles: you definitely were 

Dancing Machine: Anyways the next year you came along Kookie. And I as your mentor decided to adopt you into the group.

Little Jung: which I am eternally grateful

Tigger: you were adorable when you first came

Jiminy Cricket: he was literally glued to Hobi the first 2 months, especially in class

Little Jung: because Hobi hyung is a literal angel who I am platonically in love with and will die for

Dancing Machine: Daw :’)

Jiminy Cricket: I refuse to believe it was platonic you had HEART EYES

Yoongles: but honestly everyone has heart eyes when they look at Hope-ah

Little Jung: listen, on god, if hobi was single and I didn’t have this massive crush on Yugyeom, my ass would have been in love with Hobi hyung


Tigger: OOF— mood tho hobi is mad ideal

Yoongles: well toO FUCKING BAD HES MINE!

Dancing Machine: ASGKKKHVSSEWS

Mr. World Wide: So we suddenly having Hobi Gush hour now??

Mr. Leader-Nim: I guess so

Mr. World Wide: okay cool— 



Dancing Machine: I love you guys 

Dancing Machine: I love friendiversary 

Mr. Leader-Nim: and it, loves you

Chapter Text



Tigger: hyungs are you ever going to change your names on here?

Little Jung: Yeah, us youngins did it already.

Jiminy Cricket: Yeah change it up. Stop being basicccc

Yoongles: That’s work

Mr. World Wide: lazy ass

Yoongles: ex-fucking-cuse me

Mr. Leader-Nim: I guess we could


Dancing Machine changed Dancing Machine to Big Jung


Little Jung: Hyungie ilysfm

Big Jung: :)

Yoongles: …..

Yoongles: ah fuck it


Yoongles changed Yoongles to Step Dad Jung


Jiminy Cricket: aldaskfhsbdfakjsgj a whole family!!

Step Dad Jung: Hoseok would take my last name but whatever i’ll concede

Big Jung: Do we change out names then?

Little Jung: That’s work

Big Jung: ….


Big Jung changed Little Jung to Little Min

Big Jung changed Step Dad Jung to Big Min

Big Jung changed Big Jung to Step Dad Min


Step Dad Min: You sounded just like Yoongi so it had to be done.

Big Min: Alrighty then

Little Min: I guess I’ll be a Min


Tigger changed Mr. World Wide to Shoulder Hyung

Tigger changed Mr. Leader-Nim to Pushover Boyfie


Tigger: They were taking too long

Pushover Boyfie: what the fuck?! I’m not a pushover boyfriend

Big Min: Yes you are

Little Min: You are

Step Dad Min: lowkey yeah

Shoulder Hyung: It’s okay Joon you might be a pushover in the streets, but you’re daddy in the sheets


Tigger: lmao

Jiminy Cricket: Ah Jungkook you’re so pure

Pushover Boyfie: That

Pushover Boyfie: Made me feel better thanks babe

Step Dad Min: Don’t traumatise my son

Jiminy Cricket: So can we back track because I just realized Yoongi hyung said Hobi hyung would take his last name.

Jiminy Cricket: Yall eloping or something??

Step Dad Min: No we just talked about it in passing once.

Tigger: Well, Min Hoseok sounds a little better on the tongue than Jung Yoongi

Little Min: That’s,,,, actually true.

Pushover Boyfie: Hyung thank god we have the same last name.

Shoulder Hyung: Oh yeah we’re breezy

Tigger: Jimin taking my name would be a dream come true

Big Min: Kim Jimin sounds wack tbh

Tigger: WHAT

Little Min: It does… Park Taehyung sounds way better

Jiminy Cricket: ….

Jiminy Cricket: Tae you don’t want to take my name??

Tigger: Park Taehyung is great! Yeah i could get used to that

Jiminy Cricket: :)

Big Min: Whipped ass

Shoulder Hyung: Anyways I like this new name

Pushover Boyfie: I don’t

Chapter Text



Tigger: So I know im not the smartest apple in the bunch but I realized something

Jiminy Cricket: If you ever say you aren’t smart again I will beat you, and not sexually

Jiminy Cricket: You’re a genius who deserves all the worship in the damn world

Jiminy Cricket: The apple of my eye

Tigger: Jiminie I love you

Tigger: But I really want to point this out so you can douse me in praise during pillowtalk time, not now.

Little Min: Pillow what

Shoulder Hyung: SEX jungkook they fucking mean sex jesus you’re such a fetus


Step Dad Min: Yes Taetae go ahead.

Tigger: So I know Hobi and Namjoon hyung graduated high school at the same time, but shouldn’t Namjoon hyung have been in college before Hobi, since he’s like really smart.

Jiminy Cricket: Oh yeah Hyung why didn’t you skip grades?

Pushover Boyfie: Well I just didn’t want to go early. I could’ve skipped grades but I chose not too

Pushover Boyfie: Plus since I’ve been taking so many credits every semester I can actually graduate in 3 more semesters. So I'm still getting out pretty early.

Little Min: W-wait did you take all these classes so you can graduate with Jin hyung and get married? 

Pushover Boyfie: I mean, well that was part of it…


Jiminy Cricket: Damn Hobi hyung why aren’t you doing the same for Yoongi?

Step Dad Min: first of all, I don’t have a high IQ I’m sorry I’m not a fucking genius

Step Dad Min: Second of all, because Yoongi is staying an extra year since he decided he wanted to minor in photography last minute and has to take more classes. If anything he stayed back for me.

Shoulder Hyung: A whole whipped twink

Big Min: I will fucking fight you hyung 

Shoulder Hyung: try me I’m the 2nd strongest after Jungkook, you’re 3rd, I will beat your ass.

Jiminy Cricket: oh hohohoho I like where this is going! 

Big Min: all bets are off once i start swinging 



Shoulder Hyung: OKAY BITCH

Little Min: wtf is going on

Pushover Boyfie: roommate banter.

Chapter Text



Little Min: So…

Pushover Boyfie: So??

Tigger: What goes on?

Little Min: I know I’m labeled the vanilla guy of the group

Jimin Cricket: …. yeah?

Little Min: but ima be rated R for a moment and say

Jimin Cricket: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  YEAH?!

Little Min: Yugyeom can deadass fuck me. Pin me down and ruin me


Pushover Boyfie: wHAT THE FUCK

Shoulder Hyung: WHERE,,, the fuck is this coming from?!

Step Dad Min: We’re on break right now and Yugyeom lifted his shirt to dry his face. So Kook became a thot. 

Little Min: I would do all the nasties with him, I won’t hesitate.

Big Min: I’m… a little disturbed I won’t lie

Tigger: this is so out of pocket for Jungkook bUT I LOVE IT

Pushover Boyfie: I’m in shock

Little Min: I’m like at my limit I’m ready for him to just take me

Little Min: He also lowkey grinded against me during our duet so that kinda just threw all bets off.


Jiminy Cricket: Yo Yugyeom is wildt

Shoulder Hyung: Ok if you’re tired then hurry up and kiss him wtf is all this sexual pinning?!

Little Min: I should, shouldn’t I?


Little Min: Okay so go up to him and shove my tongue down this throat

Tigger: what

Little Min: Got it

Jiminy Cricket: OK Jungkook you don’t have to do all that


Pushover Boyfie: JIN!

Shoulder Hyung: NO this is months in the fucking making don’t talk him down!!!

Big Min: Woah

Step Dad Min: This is wildt



Big Min: This escalated so fast






He’s right. Jungkook decided. He’s making his move right now. All his hyungs told him Yugyeom liked him back, Yugyeom just grinded his dick on his ass cheeks, and Jungkook was fucking tired. So he’s doing it. The redhead threw his phone on top of his bag before he took a deep breath and walked over to where Yugyeom was. He could see Hoseok’s panicked face as he messed with his phone but nope, nothing was stopping him now. His heart was pounding like a jackhammer the closer he got but he didn’t care because at this point pure adrenaline was pumping.

Yugyeom noticed from the mirror the other coming and smiled, “Oh are you read-”

Jungkook grabbed the younger by the shirt and pulled him down for a hard kiss. He could barely hear Hoseok scream from the blood rushing to his ears and pulled away after a few seconds when all his confidence was sapped out of him. The young ravenhead’s jaw was slack, eyes wide, and arms up in the air dazed. Jungkook covered his blush with the back of his hand, glueing his eyes to his feet. “S-Say something…”

That seemed to shake Yugyeom out of his stupor, the younger’s face blushing red. “J-Jungie, did you mean it?”

Jungkook gaped at the other. “I-I wouldn’t just kiss anyone ! I like you of course I mean-” 

Arms wrapped around his waist and lips captured his own. Oh thank god . He breathed out a sigh and moved his arms around Yugyeom’s neck, pulling flush against him. Jungkook might have moaned and became weak in the knees when Yugyeom delved into his mouth with his tongue, but he wouldn’t admit that to anyone. Heat started to lick at his stomach and maybe the two were getting a little heated because he could Hoseok cough really loudly.

Yugyeom broke away quickly, more red than he was before, “O-Oh!! Hobi hyung I-I’m sorry!”

Jungkook took a step away from Yugyeom as Hoseok put his phone in his pocket, “S-Sorry hyung.”

Hoseok smiled, shaking his head in disbelief, “It’s fine. I’m more happy you guys finally kissed.” He grinned at Yugyeom’s sudden shyness. “I think I’m going to end practice today. You guys obviously need to have a chat.”

“Ah thanks hyung.” Jungkook said.

Hoseok grabbed his bag and sighed, “Ah young love,” opening the door he gave them one last glance before closing the door behind him.

The practice room was silent after, filled with a pregnant pause. 

The redhead wrung his hands as he looked at the floor. A few more moments passed in silence. Jungkook finally found the courage to look at Yugyeom only to find the younger staring straight at him. He didn’t know why but he couldn’t stop the chuckle from coming out. That made the ravenhead smile, moving to engulf Jungkook in a strong hug, who was quick to return it.

Yugyeom leaned his head against the other’s, “Jungkook…” he spoke softly to his ear.


“I really like you.”

Jungkook’s heart jumped. He buried his face into Yugyeom’s neck, “I really like you too.”

“... Go out with me?”

“Of course Yugy.”

“Great,” The younger paused, “But no bowling dates.”

Jungkook pulled back with a frown, “What why?”

Yugyeom had a teasing smile, “Because you never pay attention to me when you bowl.”

Okay, Jungkook couldn’t argue that. His frown deepened but Yugyeom was quick to kiss it away. Jungkook was so elated honestly nothing could bring him down from his high.







Tigger: I’m super curious too

Big Min: impatient much

Pushover Boyfie: I mean,, it really has been months in the making

Jiminy Cricket: Yeah they need date already

Step Dad Min: IM BACK


Jiminy Cricket: SENDDDDDD

Tigger: YES

Step Dad Min: [ Video ]


Pushover Boyfie: Soooo Jin is crying

Big Min: Baby

Shoulder Hyung: I—I’m just so used to giving, and to finally receive

Shoulder Hyung: God really came through for me

Tigger: God, the true G

Little Min: And after reading that hyung, my after glow is gone

Big Min: Congrats

Pushover Boyfie: Congratulations Kook

Tigger: Offended but CONGRATS KOOKIEE

Jiminy Cricket: Finally have your mans!

Shoulder Hyung: Jungkook I’m so fucking proud of you I’m legit crying

Step Dad Min: Yeah congrats!

Little Min: Thanks guys :)

Little Min: I’m just glad I’m no longer a panicked gay!

Jiminy Cricket: ...Oh kookie...

Big Min: You’re still a panicked gay that doesn’t just leave you

Little Min: I—

Tigger: nice try fam

Little Min: Again

Little Min: I hate this family

Chapter Text



Shoulder Hyung: I would like to announce that I am looking for a new roommate because Yoongi can eat shit and kick rocks for all I care

Little Min: woahh

Jiminy Cricket: What he do?

Shoulder Hyung: Hoseok is also banned from my dorm for a week


Tigger: someone explain this tea?


Pushover Boyfie: can someone PLEASE explain

Shoulder Hyung: after a long ass day of work I come home to find Hoseok riding Yoongi on the fucking couch!!


Shoulder Hyung: Yoongi could have texted me and gave me a heads up but no- he decides to fuck Hoseok on the couch. MY POST WORK RELAXING COUCH AT THAT

Little Min: WTFFFFF

Tigger: Jimin is on the floor laughing himself to tears.

Tigger: I don’t think he’s breathing actually

Big Min: whatever it’s not that serious


Big Min: The only thing I regret is not finishing

Shoulder Hyung: BITCHHHH


Jiminy Cricket: I can’t BREATHE

Little Min: I just— I was having a good day

Pushover Boyfie: wth

Step Dad Min: we got lost in the moment...

Shoulder Hyung: you couldn’t keep your dick in your pants is what you’re saying

Big Min: And?

Shoulder Hyung:

Shoulder Hyung: Min Yoongi you’re pressing buttons that you really shouldn’t. I will run up on you REAL quick

Step Dad Min: Yoongi hyung please stop we’re in the wrong

Jiminy Cricket: I haven’t seen petty Jin hyung in awhile and I think he’s going to resurface

Tigger: please no

Big Min: and I can be petty too. I got blue balls because of him and I’m pissed

Step Dad Min: Yoongi

Little Min: oh my god

Pushover Boyfie: boi

Shoulder Hyung: you want a petty war?? Ok you got one.


Shoulder Hyung changed #3YearsStrongYEET to #PettyGames


Jiminy Cricket: oh no

Chapter Text



Shoulder Hyung: hi just wanted to pop in and say Yoongi can die :)

Tigger: and it begins

Pushover Boyfie: hyung please

Big Min: and you can eat shit you corny ass

Shoulder Hyung: okay shorty

Little Min: omg

Big Min: that’s why your ass is stiff as a board and only Namjoon can handle you

Pushover Boyfie: HEY!

Shoulder Hyung: and Hoseok is only with you out of sympathy

Step Dad Min: PLS

Big Min: He’s with me because I satisfy his needs, can’t say you do the same for Namjoon

Pushover Boyfie: WTH don’t drag me and Hobi into this

Jiminy Cricket: I’m two secs from crying

Big Min: no comeback?? You shook??

Shoulder Hyung: no your small fry roast barely did anything. But everything about you is small so no surprise.

Tigger: Jesus Christ



Big Min: saw a rat for a dog and thought “wow this looks just like Seokjin”

Shoulder Hyung: and your beats sound like a 4 year old made them but you don’t hear me saying shit

Big Min: yeah old people tend to say that all music sounds the same. Should I get you a hearing aid crusty deceased bitch?

Should Hyung: if I’m crusty and deceased then you’re one foot in the grave you fucking grandpa.




Shoulder Hyung: REALLY YOONGI?!

Step Dad Min: ???


Big Min: tragic

Shoulder Hyung: BITCH




Little Min: (oJo) ??

Pushover Boyfie: Hyung please...

Shoulder Hyung: Nah I’m fucking mad he ruining date night for me I had a long ass week. I needed my fucking Namjoon time!

Jiminy Cricket: What’s happening?

Pushover Boyfie: I had to cancel date night. I really needed to get this project done it’s due in 2 days.

Tigger: Why’s Jin hyung mad then?

Shoulder Hyung: Because it’s really fucking convenient that his partner happens to be the crusty shortstack Min Yoongi.

Big Min: Well I’m sorry your soft ass is pressed but our grade is ACTUALLY a priority. You can get dicked down by Namjoon when the project is done.

Big Min: Now go sulk on the “defiled couch”

Shoulder Hyung:

Shoulder Hyung: You just won the lottery Yoongi :))

Little Min: I... don’t like the sound of that



Big Min: Kim Seokjin I’m going to fucking MURDER you

Jiminy Cricket: wtf

Shoulder Hyung: :)

Shoulder Hyung: what can I do for you shortstack


Shoulder Hyung: well make your laptop password a little more difficult to guess instead of ‘Holly’, admit you were wrong and maybe this won’t happen again

Shoulder Hyung: have fun finding those papers tho, since it’s such a priority


Shoulder Hyung: :)

Little Min: should these two be rooming right now??

Tigger: kookie don’t get in that mess

Nammie to Hobi


Nammie: Hoseok what the hell are we going to do?

Hobi: idk i’ve just been avoiding the chat at this point.

Nammie: I’m getting tired of this we need to do something?

Hobi: what do you suggest??

Nammie: do you want to do a double date? Maybe they’ll get along for us and the whole thing will blow over

Hobi: We’ll have to not tell them it’s a double date and meet up

Nammie: if they love us, this will work

Hobi: let’s hope

Nammie to Hobi



Nammie: I can’t believe Seokjin doesn’t love me I really thought he would be civil

Hobi: they came for each other’s throat the moment they made eye contact

Nammie: I’m surprised they can keep finding new things to say it’s been 6 days.

Nammie: but are you okay? You suddenly stormed out

Hobi: yeah I’m good. I’m just annoyed so I’m giving Yoongi the cold shoulder right now.

Nammie: I would do the same but Seokjin would demand my attention

Hobi: Pushover Boyfriend

Nammie: I—

The Superior Line

Chimchim: yo this week has been so WACKK

Tata: you mean stressful

Jeon Cena: the main chat is a war zone

Chimchim: I just wanna joke and clown again why can’t they make up alreadyyyyy

Tata: because Yoongi Hyung refuses to admit he was wrong


Jeon Cena: yeahhhh hobi is being a monster in dance now. I can’t even talk with Yugyeom for a little it’s legit work for the whole time.

Jeon Cena: Cockblocked by my own kin. It’s a shame really.

Tata: ah my poor boo and little bro

Chimchim: I wanna die babe

Tata: you’ll survive ( T_T)\(^-^ )

Chimchim: come to my dorm and love me

Tigger: I’ll love you ‘til you can’t function

Jeon Cena: andddd this is my cue to leave

Gigi to Seokseok


Gigi: Babe, are you still mad?

Gigi: Hoseok

Gigi: Hoseok-ah

Gigi: Seokseok

Gigi: Hobi

Gigi: Hope

Gigi: Sunshine

Seokseok: OMG Yoongi stop blowing up my phone you know i have class!

Gigi: Are you mad?

Seokseok: no I’m not mad

Seokseok: I’m just tired hyung

Gigi: … sorry

Seokseok: I’m not the one you should be saying that too

Gigi: Hoseok I refuse, I had blue balls

Seokseok: and I was humiliated but we were wrong! We should’ve texted him! Stop being prideful and say sorry. This whole thing is dumb

Gigi: never. We are at war and I’m not losing

Seokseok: bye

Gigi: wait Hoseok

Gigi: Hoseok!

Seokseok: Hyung...

Seokseok: either you make up with Seokjin hyung or you’ll have a case of blue balls for a month.

Gigi: you wouldn’t

Seokseok: try me. I can hold out, but can you?




Big Min: petty games has to end Seokjin I was wrong and you were right I should have texted you and for that I’m sorry

Little Min: what?

Pushover Boyfie: woah

Jiminy Cricket: wth that came out of nowhere

Shoulder Hyung: oh

Shoulder Hyung: uh

Shoulder Hyung: Apology accepted?

Pushover Boyfie: can I ask what made the change of heart

Big Min: don’t think you won Jin

Big Min: Hoseok’s ass is just more important than my pride

Jiminy Cricket: oh

Jiminy Cricket: he’s just thirsty, got it

Shoulder Hyung: I—

Shoulder Hyung: ya know what I’ll just take what I can get.

Step Dad Min: oh I’m so glad that worked

Tigger: damn Hoseok hyung you must have a powerful ass

Step Dad Min: I do


Jiminy Cricket changed #PettyGames to Hoebooty


Little Min: All hail the Hoebooty

Tigger: the true king

Step Dad Min: why did you add an E

Jiminy Cricket: it’s for aesthetics

Big Min: I like

Step Dad Min: omfg

Chapter Text




Little Min: I need advice

Pushover Boyfie: what’s up Kook?

Little Min: First date ideas


Shoulder Hyung: IM ALSO HERE

Step Dad Min: You gotta do the walk in the park.

Tigger: The whole nine yards of cringey first dates

Little Min: Why do something cringey??

Step Dad Min: I know my mentee, he likes that stuff. Yugyeom is the most shy romantic around.

Shoulder Hyung: Bring him flowersss

Pushover Boyfie: Chocolates


Jiminy Cricket: OOF- I like that one!

Little Min: thats so cheesy

Little Min: I love it

Big Min: No Bowling

Shoulder Hyung: Dear God noo

Little Min: Assholes we already agreed to no bowling!

Little Min: but thank for the ideas. I’ll be implementing them tonight

Step Dad Min: Good Luck!!

Big Min: Good Luck kook

Jiminy Cricket: Good Luck Kookie!

Shoulder Hyung: Get that dick

Pushover Boyfie: ok none of that but good luck

Tigger: Good luckkkkk



Little Min: My ass was grabbed and I was tongued down

Little Min: Tonight was a win

Chapter Text



Big Min: Jungkook your ass is getting whooped

Jiminy Cricket: asdfghkj what did you do kook

Little Min: Oh god he told youuu

Step Dad Min: I want to ask not only God, but also Jesus Christ to cleanse my eyes from the scene I just saw.

Pushover Boyfie: woah what did you do?

Little Min: Pls dont tell them

Shoulder Hyung: No tell me

Jiminy Cricket: Ye ye

Step Dad Min: I’ve been shown that yugyeom and my son are possibly fucking. And fucking in the practice room

Jiminy Cricket: OH WORM?!?!



Shoulder Hyung: oh, look how karma works

Shoulder Hyung: Now you know how it feels bitch




Tigger: What did you see?!

Little Min: STOPP

Step Dad Min: Kook was literally pinned to the MIRROR WITH HIS LEGS WRAPPED AROUND YUGYEOM’S WAIST

Big Min: Ass whooped

Pushover Boyfie: Omgg

Little Min: NOOO

Jiminy Cricket: OHHHHHH WORMMMM?!?!

Shoulder Hyung: Get it Kook. Do it all over the practice room


Little Min: I-

Step Dad Min: Nah you defiled the practice room, the room everyone uses. I DON’T EVEN DO THAT.

Big Min: My one fantasy I can’t accomplish

Step Dad Min: You and Yugyeom are in TROUBLE!!!

Little Min: …. Jimin hyung?

Jiminy Cricket: I’m not saving you in class or club sorry Kookie lmao

Little Min: I cant believe this.

Chapter Text



Little Min: heyyyy family….

Tigger: What’s up Kook?

Little Min: so, can someone save me?

Jiminy Cricket: from what?

Step Dad Min: Help him and you’re fucking dead

Tigger: Jimothy you hear something?

Jiminy Cricket: Nope nothing at all


Jiminy Cricket: I’m no fool I don’t want to die

Little Min: Hobi I’m sorryyyyyy

Step Dad Min: Idc how sorry you are.

Step Dad Min: You’re gonna have to deal with harsh practice for a week, Yugyeom too.

Big Min: Yeah, this is what happens when you accomplish my fantasy


Big Min: ok buT WHEN IS THE TIME

Pushover Boyfie: what in the world did I walk into


Shoulder Hyung: To think Yoongi has a mirror kink

Big Min: hell yeah I wanna have Hobi see how wrecked he gets

Pushover Boyfie: OKAYYYYYYY

Pushover Boyfie: ENOUGH OF THAT

Little Min: I really don’t want to know about my parents’ sexcapades.

Step Dad Min: and I didnt want to know about my son’s but look. where. we. are.

Little Min: ok

Little Min: you got me there

Step Dad Min: Practice is in 2 hours Jeon Jungkook you better bring your A game and be there ON TIME.

Little Min: Yes sir…

Jiminy Cricket: Word of advice: that means 15 minutes early

Shoulder Hyung: This is so funny. I love karma

Pushover Boyfie: of course you would find this funny

Shoulder Hyung: Yee

Tigger changed Hoebooty to RIP Jungkook

Little Min: :/

Chapter Text

Rip Jungkook


Shoulder Hyung: alright bitches who wants to get turned the fuck up.

Step Dad Min: I’m listening

Shoulder Hyung: Jaebum and Jinyoung are hosting a party at their fraternity so we should all go

Little Min: Yugyeom will be there so yeah I’m game. Plus after Hobi’s punishment I need the fun

Step Dad Min: You deserved it I don’t feel sorry. Anyways I’m ready to get turned the fuck up.

Jiminy Cricket: PARTYYYY

Tigger: Ooh sure sure

Little Min: Lets get it!

Big Min: Do I have to go?

Step Dad Min: Am I going?

Big Min: yeah

Step Dad Min: Then there’s your answer babe

Big Min: Ugh

Pushover Boyfie: Jin was gonna make us go as a group anyways that initial question was rhetorical as fuck

Shoulder Hyung: That,,, is true lol you know me so well

Jiminy Cricket: what time is it gonna be?

Shoulder Hyung: it’s tonight around 9

Pushover Boyfie: you guys want to go as a group or meet up there 

Big Min: if I’m being forced to a party Hoseok you better give me a quickie before hand

Tigger: Yoongi Hyung why are you suddenly so horny for Hobi you were never like this anshdskai

Big Min: oh no I was I’m just tired of hiding it

Step Dad Min: he was always like this

Jiminy Cricket: and you encourage it

Step Dad Min: and what about it??

Shoulder Hyung: pfft

Tigger: I’m telling Aunty you’re a hot mess


Little Min: I’m still shook y’all are cousins

Jiminy Cricket: I cant believe me and Tae have the kinky hoe title but Yoongi and Hobi Hyung don't

Step Dad Min: that’s because we hide it

Shoulder Hyung: not enough ಠ_ಠ


Shoulder Hyung: yeah because you don’t want to risk not having Hoseok’s ass you thirsty hoe

Big Min: AND?!

Pushover Boyfie: so…. go as group or meet up there??

Little Min: meet up there I was gonna go early and help set up.

Big Min: I’m getting my dick wet before hand so yeah meet there


Jiminy Cricket: hyung we love you 

Tigger: but we all know you’re not gonna say no

Pushover Boyfie: You’re the first person to “appreciate your man” on the gc at 9am because “he’s growing muscle”

Step Dad Min: that was one time

Shoulder Hyung: yeah on this gc. Don’t make me pull out receipts.


Big Min: Thank you for inflating my ego hope-ah

Step Dad Min: oh shut up and come over

Little Min: yeah I’ll be taking my leave byeeeee

Shoulder Hyung: see y’all there!

Jiminy Cricket: peace!

Tigger: Jimothy I’m coming over!




By 10pm the two males made it the party. It was in full swing and very, very wild. Jimin and Taehyung stepped inside, the blonde whistling impressed. “A lot of people came.”

The older nodded in agreement while letting his eyes roam the place. He gazed up at his boyfriend, “Want to get some drinks?”


They ran into some friends along the way before finally getting the drink station. Jimin wordlessly handed Taehyung a soda, who took graciously. The chestnut haired male then made himself a quick patron shot. After a quick cheer the two drank their drinks, Jimin taking two more shots before grabbing Taehyung by the hand, “Babe let’s go dance!”

“Yeah okay!”

The two managed to find a spot on the dance floor, which just so happened to be near Hoseok and Yoongi. Jimin laughed seeing the two dance, Hoseok basically grinding against Yoongi, the latter enjoying quite a lot.

“Oh my god he’s a freak,” Taehyung muttered. Jimin smirked at the remark, turning Taehyung to him, “Ignore them! Focus on me~”

And with that the two lost themselves in the music. They jumped around, grinded a little, played around, horribly karaoked the songs, and more. It was fun and the two couldn’t stop laughing. The blonde pulled the other into a deep kiss. Jimin sighed and happily kissed back before pulling away. 


“Yes Jiminie?”

“I gotta pee.”

The younger chuckled lightly, making the older pout. “Jimin go to the bathroom.”

“But we’re having fun!”

“And we can have fun when you get back.” Taehyung pointed at a spot on the side of the dance floor, “I’ll wait over there for you.”

Jimin seemed to contemplate that before finally giving in, “Okay okay. I’ll be right back!!”

“Okay.” Taehyung laughed watching the other scurry away. He made is way off to the side of the floor. He let his gaze wander around the party. He found Jungkook and Yugyeom on a couch. He smiled seeing how close the two were sitting, Yugyeom’s arm around Jungkook’s waist. They looked happy in their own bubble, even though the rest of the ‘97 line gang was around them. Taehyung really hoped they stayed together for awhile. 

He looked to his left and saw Seokjin playing beer pong, Namjoon cheering on the side. The blonde realized Seokjin was actually winning, his opponent Sandeul a wobbly mess. Seokjin had a shit eating grin watching his friend down the last cup on his side. Taehyung made a mental note to never play beer pong with Seokjin. 

The blonde checked the time, surprised to see ten minutes had passed and Jimin still wasn’t back. He looked around the room but couldn’t spot the chestnut hair anywhere. He called the other’s phone, frowning when it went to voicemail. Taehyung opened the group chat. Maybe someone saw him.

Rip Jungkook


Tigger: Fam has anyone seen Jiminie? He left for the bathroom and it’s been awhile and he’s not answering his phone.

Big Min: I think I saw him down the hall just a second ago?

Tigger: Thanks hyung.

Taehyung went to check down the hall, bypassing all the dancing bodies and couples groping each other. He checked the bathroom to make sure the shorter hadn’t passed out on the toilet or something.

It was empty.

Where did he go?

Taehyung decided to check all the rooms down in the hallway. The closet was clear, a bare room was empty, and small study was empty too. 

Taehyung  reached the last door and heard shuffling inside. There you are! Opening the door the blonde smiled, “Yah did you get lost or som–” His throat clamped up stopping the rest of the words. It was like the air was knocked out of lungs.

He found Jimin alright, but he wasn’t alone . No, he was pressed against the wall by some tall bulky guy. Jimin stared at Taehyung in shock and the younger felt his whole world collapse under him. 


Taehyung quickly dipped out of the room, ignoring Jimin’s cries for him to come back. He maneuvered through the dance floor, almost making it the front door until he accidentally bumped into someone.

That someone was Hoseok who was slightly tipsy. The older steadied the younger with a chuckle, “Woah there, why are you in such a hurry?” The ravenhead looked up with a smile but dropped it when seeing the state Taehyung was in. He felt himself sober as concern flooded through him. Hoseok held his hands, “Taetae, what happened?”

What happened? What did happen? Because Taehyung was still in disbelief himself. He found Jimin making out with some guy. Right. Jimin kissed someone that wasn’t him. What did that mean? 

Jimin cheated on him. 

The real revelation hit him like a truck, completely shattering his heart. The tears rushed out faster than he could control them. Panic arose in Hoseok’s eyes, “T-Tae!”

H-Hyung, I– ” A sob stopped him from speaking more. The older male instantly wrapped his arms around the younger, shielding him from everyone in the party.

“C’mon let’s get you out of here.” He whispered gently. Taehyung let himself be led out the party, barely registering the other calling Yoongi telling him he was leaving early. He just felt so dead and destroyed that he was on autopilot. 

It wasn’t until they made it to Hoseok’s dorm and in bed that the pain came back tenfold. Hoseok said nothing, letting the younger cry into his chest while he held him close. An hour passed before Taehyung finally tired himself into slumber. Hoseok gently positioned him better, gazing sadly at the other, one thought repeating in his head.

What happened?



Rip Jungkook



Little Min: Hyung you’ve been spamming the chat since last night

Big Min: what happened??

Shoulder Hyung: Yeah I’m getting scared. Why am I waking up to you freaking out?

Jiminy Cricket: I’m about to lose my mind 

Jiminy Cricket: He hasn’t responded to any of my calls or texts

Pushover Boyfie: Did something happen??

Step Dad Min: Jimin stop freaking out, he’s at my dorm

Step Dad Min: Worse for wear, but he’s alright

Jiminy Cricket: Oh thank god

Jiminy Cricket: I’m coming over

Tigger: Don’t

Jiminy Cricket: Tae…

Tigger: No Jimin just no

Shoulder Hyung: uh, what’s happening?

Jiminy Cricket: Can we not do this on the group chat please let me explain myself

Tigger: what’s there to explain?!

Jiminy Cricket: A lot! Because what you saw wasn’t true!!

Tigger: Jimin you were making out with some guy!!!! What’s not true about that?!

Little Min: UHM

Jiminy Cricket: Jungkook shut the fuck up

Jiminy Cricket: Taehyung he forced himself on me, I was trying to push him off when you came!!

Tigger: Really now

Jiminy Cricket: I’m telling the truth! I would never cheat on you!

Tigger: somehow that doesn’t seem to be the case

Jiminy Cricket:  

Jiminy Cricket: you don’t even trust me or love me enough to believe my words?

Tigger: Actions speak louder than words Jimin


Tigger: Yeah ok that’s what that was.

Jiminy Cricket: You know what fuck you Taehyung!


Jiminy Cricket left Rip Jungkook

Tigger left Rip Jungkook


Step Dad Min: Oh god Tae is a hot mess right now I have to go

Shoulder Hyung: Im at a loss

Pushover Boyfie: can someone check on Jimin?

Little Min: Already on it

Big Min: I… wtf?

Chapter Text

It had been a week since the incident at the party happened. It was the longest Jimin and Taehyung had been away from each other, and it started to show. The two were honestly a mess. 

Jimin wasn’t focused and barely had the drive to dance. He just looked so despondent and sulked everywhere that it was painful to watch. Taehyung was so quiet and drowned himself in school work. Hoseok tried to get the blonde to talk and cheer him up but it just wasn’t working. It was a sad sight to see.

Now, the room was dead silent, no one saying a word. The group decided to come together in Seokjin and Yoongi’s dorm to discuss what to do with their current predicament but really they weren’t sure what to do. But they knew this couldn’t go on any longer.

Namjoon was the first to speak out. 

“They need to see each other face to face.”

Jungkook shook his head, “Well Taetae hyung doesn’t want to see him. He’s too hurt.”

Hoseok sighed, “I went to his room yesterday and he had all his framed photos of him and Jimin together laying face down so he didn’t have to look at them.”


The ravenhead nodded, “But his lockscreen is still Jimin’s face so there’s still hope.”

Seokjin sighed out in exasperation, “This is ridiculous they need to talk like healthy couples do and be done with this.”

“They need to see each other’s point of view before they can do that or they’ll just bump heads again.” Jungkook pointed out.

Yoongi was silent throughout the discussion, until an idea hit him. “Why don’t we talk to them then?”

Namjoon looked at him in confusion. 

The burgundy haired male shrugged, “Maybe an outside perspective and can help them open their eyes. I can talk to Jimin because well I’ve known Taehyung since he was a kid.”

“Let me talk to Taehyung then,” Seokjin added, “I think I can get through to him.”

“When are you going to talk to them?” Hoseok asked. 

“Honestly—,” Seokjin stood up, “like now because this can’t keep going.”

The others seemed to all agree to the plan. Jungkook smiles at the two oldest, “We’ll leave it to you hyungs.”




Taehyung was tired. Not only mentally, but emotionally too. Maybe emotionally stunted was a better way of putting but either he felt like shit. Total fucking garbage. If things hadn’t gone so horribly he could have been cuddling with the love of his life and recharged but that’s definitely not happening. So the emotional constipation stayed and took its toll on him. Though he tried his best to ignore it and busy himself with work, work and more work.

He sighed as he closed his textbook, too exhausted to read anymore. His eyes travelled to the picture frames that were face down on his desk and his heart felt heavy again. He leaned his head on his hand as he lifted one of the pictures.

It was just a candid picture of Jimin, but it was his favorite picture ever. Jimin was staring out to the Christmas lights that decorated the streets, a bright smile paired with rosy cheeks and the sight was so beautiful Taehyung took the picture without a second thought. 

The heaviness in his chest felt even worse at that moment. He missed Jimin, but he didn’t know what to do. A piece of him thinks he should talk to the other but he’s scared. He’s scared to bring more light to this situation. And he was new to all this, he didn’t know how to settle couple fights— Jimin was his first boyfriend and first for just about a lot of other things despite what people may think. So he didn’t know how to handle their first fight. 

Before the dark feelings could consume him, a knock at the door distracted him. He turned to the door confused, no one was supposed to come by. “Who is it?”

“It’s me Tae.”

Taehyung walked over and opened the door, “Seokjin hyung?”

The older male smiled, “Can I come in?”

“Uh yeah sure,” Taehyung opened the door wider for the other. Seokjin quickly made himself at home on Taehyung's bed. He glanced at the younger, tapping the space next to him, “C’mon, sit down.”

Taehyung did so, though warily. He looked at the ravenhead suspiciously, “What’s going on?”

“We need to talk, about Jimin.” Seokjin saw how tense he had become. “Taehyung, we need to talk about this.”

When the younger went to protest Seokjin shook his head.

“Nu-uh. We’re not doing this avoiding game any longer.” 

“It’s not an avoidance game—”

“Then what is this?” Seokjin gestured out in the air, “What is this you’ve been doing all week and the day Jimin wanted to see you and talk it out.”

Taehyung didn’t have anything to say to that. 

Seokjin sighed before speaking, this time more softly, “Tae, we’re all worried. For the both of you. You’re tearing yourself apart and it’s not healthy.”

The younger stated quiet, eyes glued to the floor. A pregnant pause stayed between the two before Seokjin leaned back against his hands. His voice soft when he spoke again. “Ya know, Jimin and I actually talk a lot by ourselves when he’s having a hard time or just wants an ear to listen. And do you know what he always mentions?” He asked looking at Taehyung expectantly. Taehyung only shook his head, waiting for the older to answer.

“How you comfort him and how happy he is to have you. You’re always on his mind.”

That made Taehyung look over at his hyung. Seokjin had a soft smile while he spoke. He straightened up again, looking at the blonde in concern. “He's so torn up because he hurt you, but he’s also hurt. He wants to talk and fix it but you won’t let him. You completely shut him out. You need to hear him out Tae.”

The heaviness came back harder. “I-I’m scared hyung.”

That made Seokjin confused, “Of what? Tae there’s nothing to be scared of. You love him and he loves you, that’s all there is to it.”

“W-what if he doesn’t forgive me for not believing in him enough? What if he sees I’m not worth his time? What if he leaves—” Taehyung didn't even let himself finish that thought. It hurt too much to think much less speak. While he was upset about what happened at the party, he didn’t want to lose Jimin. But he was so scared. Scared that Jimin would see just how unworthy Taehyung was of him, to see him as the boy who came from a strawberry farm in Daegu and find someone better.

Seokjin seemed to realize where Taehyung’s thoughts were going but he shook his head in response. “Taehyung that boy loves you. There’s a reason you guys started dating only a week into meeting.” He held the younger’s hand. “ Talk to him.”

Taehyung looked unconvinced but Seokjin squeezed his hand, his voice firm in certainty.

Talk to him.”




Mini Hyung to Mini Dongsaeng


Mini Hyung: hey kid you at your dorm?

Mini Dongsaeng: yeah,, what’s up?

Mini Hyung: Open the door


Jimin stared at his phone in confusion before he pulled himself out of bed to the door. He unlocked the door, letting Yoongi into his room. The burgundy haired male glanced around the room before focusing on the other, “What were you doing?”

The younger shrugged, gravitating back to his bed, “Just laying around.” He hid his body under the covers, “Haven’t been in the mood to go out.”

Yoongi hums in response. He quietly sat on the bed next to Jimin’s body, studying him. Jimin honestly— looked bad. The skin around his eyes looked sensitive from the excessive crying this week, his aura around him radiated sadness, and he just looked tired from a broken heart.

“How’re you doing?”

Jimin averted his eyes, “What do you mean?”

“What do you think?” Yoongi responded back easily.

The chestnut haired boy sighed loudly, staring up at the ceiling. His face scrunched up when his heart thudded painfully, “I feel like shit hyung.”

“You can cry you know…”

The younger shook his head, “I’ve done that enough this week, my eyes will be closed shut if I do anymore of that.”

“But you want to.”

“What I want is to be in Taehyung’s arms.” Jimin’s eyes water against his will and he angrily scrubbed his tears away. Yoongi hated seeing him so sad. “Jimin…”

I don’t know what to do hyung, ” Jimin hiccupped swiping away more tears, “It’s been a week but I feel I’m about to implode. I hate this .” I miss him.

Yoongi heard the words loud and clear. He moved so that he was laying next to the other and pulled him into his chest. He let Jimin cry his pain away, rubbing his back soothingly, whispering sweet nothings into the air. It took a couple of minutes for the younger to finally calm down. They just laid in silence, before Yoongi finally said what he meant to say since he came by. 

“You know… Taehyung-ah is a strange character.” Yoongi smiled thinking about his cousin when he was a kid. “I’ve known Taehyung since he was a baby and I always did find him peculiar, and a lot of people did too. But the difference was I knew he was actually pretty brilliant.”

Jimin nodded his head, “He really is brilliant.”

“Sadly other kids in our town didn’t see it that way. To them he was just a farm boy who was always too excited and goofy. No one really took him seriously. They thought he was weird because he thought outside the box. Yeah he had friends, but they were more like classmates than anything else.”

The younger pulled away, staring at the older, “Why are you telling me this?”

“Because you need to understand him.”

“... What do you mean?”

Yoongi sighed, “Jimin you’re more than just a boyfriend to him. You’re his best friend, the friend he’s wanted for a long, long time. I know we’re a whole friend group, but the relationship you have with Taehyung is special to him. You’re his first real friend and first boyfriend. You’re the first person to see more in him, to really see Taehyung. You’re his first Jimin. So when he saw you with someone else at the party, to him the only person who really loved him betrayed him. And he was just blinded by that pain.” Yoongi stared at the younger, whose tears came rushing back, “He still loves you Jimin-ah, trust me. He just needs to sort out all the negative feelings.”


The two were startled by loud banging on his door. 

“What the—”

More banging came followed by a shout, “ JIMIN! ” 

Jimin gasped at the voice he hadn’t heard in a week. He stared at Yoongi in shock, who merely nodded toward the door. 

Jimin please.

The desperation in the voice made Jimin’s whole body jump start. He quickly climbed out of bed, tripping over his sheets, before swinging the door open. “ Tae —”

Taehyung engulfed him in his arms the moment the door opened, and all Jimin could do was burst into tears. He tightly wrapped his arms around Taehyung’s middle, burying deep into the taller’s shoulder.

Taehyung ran a hand through the other’s hair, “Jimin I’m so sorry. God I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay…”

“No it’s not!” Taehyung pulled away, much to Jimin’s dismay, “Jimin I was wrong! I should’ve believed you. I should have came sooner, I just…” He trailed off, trying to keep his emotions in check, eyes falling to the side. “I was scared you wouldn’t want to be with me anymore.” 

Jimin’s smile was wobbly as he held Taehyung’s cheek, “You’re dumb for thinking that.”

The younger’s gaze fell back on the older, the latter pulling him closer again. They were centimeters apart when Jimin whispered lovingly, “I love you Tigger.”

Taehyung nuzzled his nose, “I love you too.”

Yoongi just watched silently while the two were in their own world.

They were going to be okay.



Rip Jungkook


Big Min added Jiminy Cricket and Tigger to Rip Jungkook


Jiminy Cricket: We’re sorry guys. We talked though so it’s all good

Tigger: Yeah sorry hyungs

Step Dad Min: OH THANK GOD

Little Min: Hyungs!!

Shoulder Hyung: Amazing, Fantastic, Perfect, Yas

Pushover Boyfie: Don’t be sorry. Couples fight. I’m just glad everything is okay.

Big Min: Good to have family whole again

Tigger: :D

Step Dad Min: so now that everything is settled, Jimin

Step Dad Min: You’ve been slacking in practice :))

Jiminy Cricket: Uh oh


Little Min changed Rip Jungkook to Rip Jimin

Chapter Text

Superior Line


Jeon Cena: so…. Can we talk about dance practice today?

Tata: Shit I didn’t go visit today what happened?!

Chimchim: Hobi hyung was getting oogled at.

Tata: O-OOGLED?!

Jeon Cena: Yeah by Jongin hyung

Tata: .... WHO?!

Chimchim: a friend of Hobi hyung in one of his classes. He had him come to help with some ballet number and…. he was staring Hobi down

Tata: okay but staring down like how we stare at Hobi hyung or another kind?

Jeon Cena: Tae we may all love Hobi and would love to be his partner, but we would never actually try to be his partner. Jongin prob would if he had the chance

Tata: Oh worm?

Chimchim: He was staring like he was ready to risk it all and hyung didn’t even notice

Tata: oh hell no

Tata: does he not know Hoseok is taken?

Jeon Cena: Pretty sure everyone knows

Chimchim: lowkey

Chimchim: But very highkey, I wanna meddled

Tata: Sign me the fuck up what are we doing?

Jeon Cena: to protect my dads I’m in

Chimchim: okay so I don’t think we should directly tell Yoongi hyung someone is looking at Hoseok because Yoongi might throw hands and we don’t need that

Jeon Cena: I guess

Chimchim: So we tell Yoongi hyung that Hoseok has been a little pouty since Yoongi hasn’t visited the studio and you know how Yoongi can’t handle the pout.

Chimchim: Yoongi comes by, even brings food, and Hoseok gets all happy and touchy and Jongin sees and gets a hint.

Tata: I like it but if Jongin doesn’t get the hint, then what?

Chimchim: Yoongi hyung is just going to have to throw hands I don’t know what to tell you

Jeon Cena: lowkey wanna see that I won’t lie

Tata: that’s a last resort Kookie calm down

Jeon Cena: fine

Chimchim: Okay initiating plan now

Tata: Roger that. 

 Mini Dongsaeng to Mini Hyung


Mini Dongsaeng: Heyyyyyy hyunggggggg

Mini Hyung: Uh what’s up

Mini Dongsaeng: So it’s come to my attention that Hobi has been a little sad lately

Mini Hyung: What? Why what happened?

Mini Dongsaeng: He’s a little sad because well- you know how Tae visits dance club a lot right?

Mini Hyung: yeah

Mini Dongsaeng: and he brings food and snacks for everyone

Mini Hyung: yeah…

Mini Dongsaeng: Well, he’s kinda sad you don’t do that. It’s not a huge deal! He said it more in passing than anything but you know how Hobi is. He keeps to himself.

Mini Hyung:

Mini Dongsaeng: So uh…. Fix that?

Superior Line


Chimchim: He left me on read

Chimchim: The deed is done.

Superior Line



Chimchim: RIGHT?!

Tata: Hyung really did that.

Chimchim: I didn’t think he was going to rent a food truck for club I CAN’T

Tata: Where did he get money for a food truck

Jeon Cena: It doesn’t matter. Hobi hyung was so shocked and happy, he smooched him so hard I felt that

Tata: The look on Jongin hyung’s face was hilarious. Completely devastated.

Chimchim: he got the idea so Yoongi doesn’t have to throw hands

Jeon Cena: Still lowkey wanted that to happen

Tata: Kookie!!

Jeon Cena: Just saying...

Chapter Text

Rip Jimin


Little Min: Fam,,, I am devastated

Pushover Boyfie: What’s wrong kook?

Little Min: I have to break up with Yugyeom

Jiminy Cricket: BITCH SAY WHAT?!?!

Shoulder Hyung: WHAAAAAAAAT?!

Step Dad Min: What did he do? 

Big Min: Did he cheat on you? Do I have to fight him?

Little Min: WORSE


Jiminy Cricket: ….

Tigger: Jungkook I’m going to choke slam you

Shoulder Hyung: I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU

Pushover Boyfie: and here I thought something bad happened

Big Min: What the fuck is a stony and stucky?

Step Dad Min: It’s uh, Marvel ships. Iron Man x Captain America and Captain America x Winter Soldier.

Big Min: I’m exiting this chat now




Tigger: Kook it’s not that deep

Little Min: I don’t want to hear it WinterFalcon shipper

Step Dad Min: here we go

Jiminy Cricket: You’d seriously break up with Yugyeom over a ship?

Little Min: I’m considering.

Shoulder Hyung: Stfu no you’re not. I didn’t suffer months of pining for you to break up after 2 months 

Shoulder Hyung: You better pretend you never heard that and that conversation never happened I’M NOT PLAYING GAMES

Pushover Boyfie: no comment

Little Min: I never felt pain the way I did when he said Stucky was a BROTP to him. When I say my heart SHATTERED

Step Dad Min: Okay but there has to be at least one ship you guys agree on, right?

Little Min: I’m not asking I’m too scared to have my heart broken again

Jiminy Cricket: How about asking for the least triggering show since obviously Marvel is off limits.

Little Min: ….. I guess

Little Min: I can ask about My Hero Academia

Tigger: Yeah go do that and stop all this breaking up nonsense.

Little Min: If I come back crying it’s y’all fault

Shoulder Hyung: Yeah okay now leave

Rip Jimin


Little Min: Okay he’s worthy of my love he also ships Kiribaku

Jiminy Cricket: eh, Kirimina is better

Tigger: werd

Little Min: ok you guys aren’t my friends anymore

Step Dad Min: sigh

Chapter Text

Big Min added Little Min, Shoulder Hyung, Pushover Boyfie, Tigger, and Jiminy Cricket to Secret Groupchat


Secret Groupchat


Tigger: Uh…

Shoulder Hyung: wtf is this?

Little Min: Secret Group??

Jiminy Cricket: ooooooo

Big Min: Hey so I need your guy’s help

Pushover Boyfie: What’s up?

Big Min: Hobi and my anniversary is coming and I need ideas

Tigger: *gasp* oh?

Shoulder Hyung: What kind of ideas are we talking ‘bout?

Big Min: the serious kind

Little Min: oh shit okay let’s think then

Pushover Boyfie: so then you don’t want to do anything basic?

Big Min: I don’t mind some basic stuff but I need some other stuff so help please

Tigger: okay so go big or go home

Big Min: yeah

Jiminy Cricket: you guys have done everything together the only “go big or go home” would be to marry the guy

Big Min:


Pushover Boyfie: h-hyung?!

Big Min: Listen I’m honestly ready too but it’s only been 4 years. Also, I think it’s only fair for Namjoon and Seokjin to get engaged first.

Shoulder Hyung: BOI if you don’t tie the fucking knot. Don’t worry about me and namjoon we have our own pace and you have yours. If you want to marry Hoseok then you fucking marry him!!

Pushover Boyfie: Yeah please don’t stop yourself from doing something you really want because of us.

Big Min: hmm, maybe after we graduate it’ll be better. I think we’ll be more ready then.

Little Min: Okay fair, so then what’s “go big or go home” for you?

Tigger: Marriage would have been hard anyways because you don’t even dorm together

Big Min: Oh shit.

Jiminy Cricket: light bulb!

Big Min: We actually make a nice amount of money… so together it’s not a bad income…

Shoulder Hyung: Yoongles are you thinking what I’m thinking you’re thinking

Big Min: I’m gonna ask him to move in with me



Pushover Boyfie: Do you want help apartment hunting?

Big Min: Yes please.

Shoulder Hyung: Oh yoongi I’m so excited!! We’re all gonna help you out!

Little Min: Yup!!

Tigger: whatever you need I’ll help

Big Min: thank you guys

Jiminy Cricket: of course hyung!!!

Pushover Boyfie: We love you so of course we want to help

Big Min: I love you too

Big Min: just hope he says yes

Little Min: He’s going to!!


Shoulder Hyung changed Secret Groupchat to Operation: Sope


Operation: Sope

Little Min: Let’s get it.

Chapter Text

Hey everyone! I’m sorry this isn’t the next update but I wanted to tell you guys; I want to write a new story!

I’ll be writing it along side 7 Boys & A Groupchat. But I can’t choose which one to write so I wanted to ask your opinion on what you would want to read!!

I have 3 different stories in mind and I need you guys to decide! They’re all planned out already!!

I just need you to answer The Poll please. I really appreciate it!


Here are the choices:

Highschool to University AU | Fluff | Summary: Taehyung came crashing into Jimin’s life (Alternate summary: Jimin and Taehyung meet and become joined by the hip, but Jimin wants more)

Bangtan Mafia:
Vmin, Yoonseok, Namjin | fluff and some angst | Summary: Jimin did not sign up for this, but here he is. (Jimin stared at the warehouse cautiously “Taehyung… where the hell are we?” Taehyung’s grin made him feel even more alarmed, “Welcome to Bangtan!” Shit.) (Alternative summary: Park Jimin was dragged into the Gang life by the one and only Kim Taehyung)

University AU | Fluff and short Angst | Summary: Namjoon believed that love wasn’t real, just propaganda for the soft hearted. But then Seokjin happened. And well... now he wasn’t sure anymore

Chapter Text

Yoongi and Hoseok had been dating for four years now. 

It all started when Hoseok walked into the Music Department, asking Yoongi and Namjoon to mix a playlist for the dance club. That day, Yoongi fell so damn hard . It wasn't a challenging thing to do considering Hoseok gave off such positive vibes. When the younger’s doe eyes sparkled like fireworks when he was excited, or when his lips curled into a beautiful heart smile, or when his laugh gave you energy that you just wanted to bask in it forever. So yeah, it wasn’t hard to fall for Jung Hoseok. Yoongi didn’t even try to fight it, and he was blessed Hoseok felt the same. 

The four years had been a wonderful time in Yoongi’s life. Yoongi always felt the need to protect his lover from the world, and Hoseok always felt the need to make sure Yoongi was taken care of. Their personalities melded so well together, they were so in sync with each other, and they were able to confide about really anything together. 

The older never thought he would find someone like this so early in his life. Someone who completed him in such a way that no one else could. Someone he wanted by his side for as long as possible. Someone he wanted to call his. Someone who blended so well with his family, and vise versa. Someone his own father approved of and adored. It was around that time that Yoongi really knew Hoseok was just it for him.


It had been a long four years, and Yoongi wanted to take it to the next step. He was ready to take the next step. And he just hoped Hoseok was too. 




Hoseok was lost in dreamland when he felt someone gently shake him awake. He slowly opened his eyes, a smile easily appearing when gazing upward. He was half lying on Yoongi when he woke up, the latter watching with adoration in his eyes. “Hey hyung.”

“Hey Hope-ah.”

The younger moved slightly, giving the other a chaste kiss. Yoongi pulled back with a scrunched nose, “Hobi we still have morning breath stop.” That made the younger smirk and before he knew it, Hoseok was straddling him. Yoongi instinctively placed his hands on his waist. Hoseok leaned down, patiently waiting for Yoongi to meet him halfway. Of course the burgundy haired male did, albeit reluctantly. Hoseok pulled away with a gentle smile, “Happy Anniversary hyung.”

Yoongi smiled back as he raised his hand to cup the younger’s cheek, “Happy Anniversary babe.” Hoseok leaned back on his heels, “We got lucky that it’s saturday,” He rolled off Yoongi to lay next to him instead, cuddling close, “We can relax and lay all day.”  

The older scoffed, “That’s no way to celebrate four years.” 

“We already celebrated last night though! My body is sore by the way. We might have been a little too enthusiastic.” 

“I’ll take that as a compliment. But it’s our anniversary. I don’t want to lay around.” 

“Says the guy who likes to sleep...” 

“Hobi, c’mon seriously I planned some stuff out.” 

“You did?” Hoseok looked surprised at that. Yoongi shrugged, “It's been four years, plus you planned last year.”

“That’s true…” The younger glanced at the clock on Yoongi’s nightstand. It was only nine in the morning. “How about we relax until eleven and then head out and do your plan?”

Yoongi could do that. “Okay.”

“Great!” Hoseok snuggled up under Yoongi’s chin, wrapping an arm around the latter’s waist, “Wake me when it’s time.”

Yoongi rolled his eyes but pulled the other closer anyways, “Yeah will do.”

Turned out, they both fell asleep until twelve noon, much to Hoseok happiness and Yoongi’s dismay. But the two finally left the comfort of the older’s bed to get ready for the day. They hopped in the shower together, chaste kisses shared as they wash each other. Yoongi took his time washing the younger’s hair, running his fingers through the onyx hair just the way he knew Hoseok loved. Hoseok hummed under his ministration, making Yoongi smile up at him. They spent another fifteen minutes under the hot water before finally stepping out to get dressed.  

It was a pretty cold winter day so they bundled up in thick coats, scarves, and boots. Once they were welcomed to the cold outside air, the younger looked at his boyfriend, “So where to first?” 

Yoongi gave a thoughtful hum, even though he already had a place in mind, “Late lunch first.”

Hoseok grabbed his hand and smiled, “Lead the way, babe.”

The two ended up at a cafe not too far. Hoseok smiled when he realized just where they were, “Aw hyung this is cute!” Yoongi shrugged, looking away to hide his smile.

The cafe was on the small side, not many people crowded it but it was special for the couple. This cafe was home to their first date and many memories were filled in that building. The older male pulled the other inside the cozy establishment. He lead them to a booth close to the window, deciding to sit next to each other. Hoseok hooked their arms together, “What do you want?”

“I’m thinking something we can share.” 

“To share?” Hoseok grinned, “That’s pretty cheeky hyung.”

Yoongi rolled his eyes half-heartedly, “Cheeky and cheesy is kinda the point for today Hobi.”

“Oh really now.” The younger rest his chin on the other’s shoulder, “So what’s on our cheesy agenda today then?”

“You’ll find out as we go along,” Yoongi didn’t glance his way as he replied, instead staring at the menu. Hoseok pouted lightly before moving to peck the older’s cheek, “Fine I like surprises every once in awhile.”

A waiter finally came their way and the two ordered coffee and a few pastries. The rest of their time in the cafe was spent talking mindlessly, Hoseok about the plans he has for the dance team and Yoongi about some songs he’s been inspired to write. They finished pretty quickly and left after saying goodbye to the workers.

They aimlessly walked throughout town window shopping, sometimes going into places that actually peaked their interest. All while Yoongi kept a hand deep in his pocket, fiddling with the little box nestled there. Not yet not yet. It was around four in the afternoon when Yoongi stopped them from walking any further into the park. Since it was starting to get dark, he thought it was time to go to their next stop. “Alright time for the next destination. 

“Where too?”

Yoongi only smiled.




‘Where to’ ended up being the most cheesiest place a couple could go in Korea. However Hoseok couldn’t have been more happy. The moment he saw the Namsan Tower, he actually squealed. “Oh my god hyung!” He turned to the older male with a grin, “I’ve always wanted to come here with you!” 

Yoongi looked surprised hearing that, “You did? Why didn’t you ask before?”

“I don’t know,” The ravenhead shrugged, “I didn’t think you would like this kind of thing.”

The older stopped walking as he looked at him with furrowed brows. Hoseok stopped a couple of steps ahead. “Hyung?”

Yoongi had a frown as he gazed off to the side, “Hobi if you ever want to go somewhere just ask,” He stared at the younger, “I’ll always go where you want.”

Ok. Hoseok’s heart did a little flip when hearing that. He stepped into Yoongi’s space before softly holding his hands, “Yeah. Yeah okay hyung. I’ll remember that.” He looked up and smiled, “And you ask too okay? I’ll always go too.”

Yoongi blushed slightly, “Good. Ok.” He pulled Hoseok along with him into the building, “Let’s go.”


They bought a locket and sharpie before riding an elevator up to the top. Thousands of locks were hanging from the railings, with messages of love and more on each one. The two walked around reading some of them. 

“Hyung where should we put ours?”

Yoongi glanced around the open space when a spot caught his attention. “Let’s go there.” 

They walked over to a spot that was less crowded than the rest. Hoseok pulled out the lock and sharpie from his pocket, “I get one side, and you get the other.”


“Write something super cute or cheesy.”

“Alright alright.”

Hoseok smiled before handing the lock over. Yoongi already knew what he wanted to write and didn’t hesitate to put it down. Hoseok seemed surprised how quickly Yoongi returned the lock to him. He looked down to read what it said and felt his face burn.


Thank you for being the one for me. You’re just it Hope-ah.


“Hyung you’re going to make me emotional.” 

Yoongi chuckled. “I only wrote the truth.”

Hoseok uncapped the sharpie and turned the locket over. What did he want to write? Well something short but meaningful. So he settled for the truth as well.


You’re my first true love, thank you for that.


The older smiled softly when reading the message. “You’re welcome.”

The younger shoved him shyly before unlocking the lock. He smiled at him, “Ready?”

Yoongi smiled, “Go for it.”

With that Hoseok locked the locket on the railing, letting it sit with the rest. He felt Yoongi lace their hands together, “C’mon let’s sit for a little, it’s a nice view here.” And so they found an empty bench to sit at.

It was quiet between the two as they sat close to each other, gazing up at the sky. Because they were in the city, not many stars were out but it was still a pretty sight to see. The whole day had been fun and simple and it made Hoseok appreciate the little moments he gained when with his boyfriend. It made him love even more. “Yoongi thank you for this,” He said just above a whisper.

Yoongi turned his head to look at him. His ears and nose were slightly pink from the cold and his hat was pushed down making his fluffy onyx hair curl unruly on his forehead. And though the younger was still staring up at the sky, he could see the galaxy dance in his chocolate eyes. It made something in his chest burst with emotions. The box in his pocket felt heavy suddenly. This whole day was leading up to this moment, and if he didn’t do it now, he never would. So he decided now was the time. “Hope-ah.”


Hoseok finally looked his way, his full attention on him. Damn if he wasn’t the most beautiful thing Yoongi’s ever seen. “I… I have something for you.”

“Oh hyung you didn’t have to get me anything, this whole day was a gift.”

“It’s…” The older gripped the box tightly, “It’s not necessarily a gift.” Yoongi finally pulled out the little box from his pocket. Hoseok glanced at the velvet box and gasped loudly, feeling anxiety running through his veins. Oh GOD IS THIS— “Hyung?! Is this a proposal?!?!” 

Hearing that made Yoongi flush deeply on his face and ears managing to sputter out, “What?! No! I mean…” He looked off to the side, “Not yet. J-just open it.” Hoseok gingerly took the box from him before slowly opening it. To say the least, he was confused. 

Resting inside the box was a simple piece of paper, 0116 written in red. Nothing else was in the box making Hoseok glance up at the nervous male sitting next to him. “Hyung… what is this?”

“It’s today’s date. And our code… if you want it to be…”

The younger stared at the paper trying to figure this out. “... Code for what?”

“Our home.”

Hoseok’s head shot up, eyes wide and jaw slack, “O-our home?”

Yoongi finally returned his gaze to Hoseok as he asked softly, “Move in with me Hope-ah?”

It felt like the air had been knocked out the onyx haired male. Yoongi wanted to live with him, to be with him. Wake up and fall asleep with him. See him at his best and at his worst. Have a space that’s theirs and only theirs. Yoongi wanted all of that with him. The thought evoked such a strong feeling that all Hoseok could do was cry. 

Seeing tears fall from Hoseok’s eyes caused Yoongi to panic. He was quick to wipe the tears away with his thumb “O-Oh no why are you crying? Did you… not want to move in? It’s okay if you don’t.”

Hoseok quickly shook his head, “Hyung of course I want to.” He sobbed lightly, “I’m just so happy—” He cried a little harder. Yoongi’s eyes softened, quietly wiping his tears as he cupped Hoseok’s face. The younger leaned into his hands, laying his own on top. Their gaze locked and Hoseok smiled wobbly, “I would love to move in with you.

Happiness flowed through Yoongi. He didn’t have to think when he pulled Hoseok into a deep kiss, one the younger pushed back into. Yoongi pulled away slightly, staring at his boyfriend. “I love you Hoseok, so much.”

The smile that he got in return as like his own personal sun, bright. “I love you too.”




Rip Jimin




Little Min: You said yes!!!

Tigger: YAYY

Jiminy Cricket: I’m so happy for you guys

Pushover Boyfie: Congrats and happy anniversary

Big Min: Thanks you guys.

Shoulder Hyung: So yeah Yoonseok’s place is the new hangout guys

Big Min: What—


Shoulder Hyung: Yes

Big Min: Uh NO

Big Min: Jungkook is already going to be there all the time we can’t let the others barge in

Little Min: haha hell yeah

Step Dad Min: aw c’mon babe it won’t be that bad, it’ll be fun!

Big Min: SIGH fine

Tigger: Whipped

Pushover Boyfie: wbk


Chapter Text

Rip Jimin


Jiminy Cricket: Family can we change the group chat this is slander on my name

Little Min: where in the name is there slander

Jiminy Cricket: all of it

Little Min: eye

Big Min: just change the name then why the hell are you asking

Tigger: because he likes attention you know this

Pushover Boyfie: damn outed by your own man

Jiminy Cricket: ok pushover boyfie

Shoulder Hyung: excuse me little shit don’t come after my man

Pushover Boyfie: thnx

Shoulder Hyung: Only I can

Pushover Boyfie: WHAT THE FUCK

Step Dad Min: yeah so that group chat name

Jiminy Cricket: Oh yeah


Jiminy Cricket changed Rip Jimin to Candy Galore


Big Min: Candy Galore?

Jiminy Cricket: It was the perfect segway to my question for you guys

Jiminy Cricket: What’s the best candy?

Jiminy Cricket: Personally I love me some Sour Patch Kids

Pushover Boyfie: Airheads or Reese’s

Step Dad Min: Snickers, next

Shoulder Hyung: Reese’s is the superior chocolate what chu mean?

Step Dad Min: Stating facts

Shoulder Hyung: Yeah fake ass facts

Tigger: M&Ms are great

Big Min: If Hope-ah says Snickers are best than Snickers are best Jin gtfo


Step Dad Min: Hey! He’s not a Gremlin!!

Step Dad Min: He’s the loml

Big Min: Babe,,,

Tigger: we’re going so off topic  

Little Min: …. Twizzlers anyone?

Jiminy Cricket: Bitch what?

Tigger: Eye—

Pushover Boyfie: Thats a hard no even for me Kookie

Shoulder Hyung: what are you, 80? Have you hit old age before me?

Step Dad Min: why are you guys coming after him?!

Step Dad Min: Jungkook you can love Twizzlers all you want

Little Min: Hobi hyung this is why you’re my favorite



Little Min: uh what is this, a competition?

Tigger: NO!

Jiminy Cricket: YES!

Little Min: mhm okay. Doesn’t matter because I’ve been winning since day 1

Jiminy Cricket: WHAT THE FUCK


Little Min: Are you part of the Min family? No? DIDN'T THINK SO

Pushover Boyfie: anna ou—

Jiminy Cricket: That was below the belt kook

Tigger: yeah that actually hurt

Shoulder Hyung: y’all really fighting over Hoseok love when we’re discussing candy??

Step Dad Min: You guys are all my babies.

Tigger: ;;—;; really??

Step Dad Min: Of course Taetae

Jiminy Cricket: Hyung (ㆀ˘・з・˘) what about me?

Step Dad Min: You too Chimmy

Big Min: I don’t like where this is going

Tigger: Are we,,,, part of the family now?

Little Min: WHAT— NO!! HYUNG!!

Big Min: oh no

Step Dad Min: I...

Big Min: Hobi no

Jiminy Cricket: Hobi yes

Big Min: I was already forced one kid

Step Dad Min: B-But

Little Min: Hyung no!!! I’m not sharing you!!

Pushover Boyfie: Omg this is really happening

Shoulder Hyung: ima just sit and watch

Step Dad Min: But I can't say no

Little Min: Yes the hell you can— I’ll say it for you


Jiminy Cricket: Stop being stingy Jungkook share Hobi hyung

Little Min: No


Tigger changed Candy Galore to Jungkook's A Brat


Little Min: IDC

Step Dad Min: C’mon don’t be like that. I have a lot of love to share

Big Min: Do I not get a say in this??

Step Dad Min: Yoongi pls

Big Min: Fucking hell fine

Little Min: Yoongi hyung might be swayed but I won’t budge

Step Dad Min: Jungie….

Shoulder Hyung: oh shit he pulled the Jungie card

Little Min: Hyung that’s not fair. I won’t falter

Jiminy Cricket: Are we Jungkook's older brothers now?

Tigger: yes yes

Pushover Boyfie: you can't be Jungkook’s older brothers and date. And you can’t be Yoongi’s cousin and son at the same time

Jiminy Cricket: …..

Tigger: .

Jiminy Cricket: ok,,, points were made

Tigger: We won’t join the Min Family

Little Min: haha hell yeah stay away.

Big Min: Namjoon you saved me thank you

Pushover Boyfie: You’re welcome

Step Dad Min: Kook I didn’t know you were this protective

Little Min: of you? Yes. And I have no shame.

Shoulder Hyung: Damn Jungkook do you radiate this much energy for Yugyeom?

Little Min: actually, yeah. He just doesn’t notice but whenever people get too friendly I glare holes into their backs until they catch a hint and run away.

Little Min: Girls not as much but boys,,, I’m ready to fight sometimes.

Pushover Boyfie: well shit who would have thought Jungkook was the possessive type.

Jiminy Cricket: why are you guys surprised? He’s been possessive of Hobi since day 1. He won’t share him.

Little Min: I just take pride in being his only baby.

Shoulder Hyung: ,,,,, well anyways Twizzlers are fucking nasty. Up your taste buds Jungkook.

Little Min: That’s just mean.

Chapter Text

Jungkook’s A Brat


Shoulder Hyung: Hi where are my shooters for Namjoon?

Tigger: Here

Jiminy Cricket: Present

Big Min: The glock is ready

Little Min: Reporting for duty

Step Dad Min: Right here what’s up

Shoulder Hyung: Alright shooters we ride at dawn

Pushover Boyfie: Babe pls it’s fine

Shoulder Hyung: No— it’s not. 

Big Min: What happened?

Pushover Boyfie: Nothing that's a big deal

Shoulder Hyung: It’s a big deal when your feelings get hurt and I’m not having that Namjoon, I’m not

Step Dad Min: ok who we killing?

Jiminy Cricket: Alright if Hobi hyung is on board I’m ready to jump

Shoulder Hyung: His shitty new boss! Guy undermined Namjoons newest work and called it “amateur” as if Namjoon hasn’t been working there since his 2nd year of University!!!! 

Little Min: WHAT!

Jiminy Cricket: OH WORM?!?!

Tigger: evil must be destroyed

Shoulder Hyung: Kim Namjoon, my man, amateur ?! HAVE PEOPLE LOST THEIR MINDS

Step Dad Min: this boss is tasteless wtf

Big Min: new bosses always fucking suck sorry Joon

Pushover Boyfie: Guys it’s really okay. Yeah it took me by surprise but that just means I have to prove him wrong. 

Shoulder Hyung: ( ಠ_ಠ) ima still beat his ass when I see him

Pushover Boyfie: Okay so you can't visit the studio anymore

Shoulder Hyung: Fuck you I do what I want

Pushover Boyfie: and you do me but that’s besides the point, you can’t visit 

Shoulder Hyung: eye

Tigger: Anna ou—

Little Min: pffft

Jiminy Cricket: Namjoon hyung casually making sexual jokes kills me every fucking time jahshdbd 

Shoulder Hyung: Don’t think I won’t fight you too just because we dating

Little Min: Hyung be like “Ima punch you— with my lips!!”

Shoulder Hyung: and what about it???

Step Dad Min: Don’t worry about him Namjoon, he’ll definitely see he’s wrong. You’re super talented!!

Pushover Boyfie: Thanks Hobi

Pushover Boyfie: and please Jin I don’t want to make any trouble, I can handle this.

Shoulder Hyung: …. Fine I won’t march in there and get banned

Shoulder Hyung: If I find out he’s still doing this you can’t stop me from choke slamming him the moment I see him

Pushover Boyfie: … we’ll just cross that bridge when we get there.

Chapter Text

Superior Line


Jeon Cena: YO GUYS

Jeon Cena: GUYSSSS

Chimchim: You called?

Tata: Wassup


Tata: wait what

Chimchim: How the HELL did you get in Hobi hyung’s phone?? He’s private about that.

Jeon Cena: oh

Jeon Cena: I have my fingerprint on his phone :)

Chimchim: YOU WHAT

Tata: HOW

Jeon Cena: Because I’m his favorite, we established this

Tata: wow he’s really picking favorites I’m h u r t

Jeon Cena: Sucks to suck


Chimchim: ok spill spill

Jeon Cena: Tae your cousin is A FREAK, like FREAK freak

Tata: I’m scared what he do now

Chimchim: HHHHH

Jeon Cena: I was using Hobi hyung’s phone to check my emails since mine was dead and charging when Yoongi hyung texted the phone and I accidentally clicked the notification AND IT WAS A NUDE. ITS BROAD DAYLIGHT AND HE SENDING NUDES



Jeon Cena: It wasn’t too exposing since his hands were down his pants BUT THERE WAS A TENT HIS SHIT WAS AWAKE AND WANTED ATTENTION


Jeon Cena: Irrelevant


Jeon Cena: I screamed and threw the phone at Hobi and we were both super embarrassed. And we decided to pretend it never happened.

Chimchim: Yoongi hyung is wild lmaoo

Tata: Why is he like this

Jeon Cena: His libido is dumb high

Chimchim: The fact me and tae were dubbed the kinky hoes still fucks me up to this day.

Chimchim: There’s a whole Min Yoongi out here but we’re the hoes

Tata: …. I mean to be fair… our history is quite, extensive

Chimchim: Tae HUSH

Jeon Cena: and that’s my cue to exit adios amigos

Chimchim: Kook come back!!

Tata: He’ll be back we do this to him literally every other day

Chimchim: tru tru

Chapter Text

Jungkook’s A Brat


Shoulder Hyung: alright bitches we need new names it’s been too long and it’s bland now

Jiminy Cricket: …. yes

Tigger: completely agree

Little Min: you shits just want the Min family to end

Tigger: what do you mean Kookie?

Jiminy Cricket: idk what you’re talking about 

Step Dad Min: The Min Family will never end Jungie it’s okay

Little Min: ... fine

Pushover Boyfie: Are we doing a theme??

Shoulder Hyung: Crack— that’s the theme

Big Min: Bitch what does that even mean???

Shoulder Hyung: it means crazy funny and wild

Shoulder Hyung: I’ll start first


Shoulder Hyung changed Big Min to Closet Thot


Closet Thot: A CLOSET WHAT

Tigger: This is actually perfect for you 

Closet Thot: yo stfu tae

Tigger: Don't be butt hurt

Little Min: Hyungie lets do something 

Jiminy Cricket: I’m mad I know exactly who he’s calling Hyungie

Step Dad Min: how about we make each other’s names 

Little Min: Yee yee 


Step Dad Min changed Little Min to Baby Bun


Baby Bun: I love it yes I’ll proudly be Bun 

Pushover Boyfie: damn he’s really whipped

Tigger: you're ... still surprised???????


Baby Bun changed Step Dad Min to Golden Hyung


Baby Bun: You’re talented in everything so you are golden 

Golden Hyung: awww

Closet Thot: how do you get these and I get called a thot

Shoulder Hyung: excuse me I said Crack not Fluff wtf

Pushover Boyfie: Just let them be babe

Shoulder Hyung: SIGH


Jiminy Cricket changed Jiminy Cricket to Bootylicious


Bootylicious: Named after my mother, Beyoncé Knowles.

Tigger: I can get behind this Jimin Park Knowles

Bootylicious: thank you bby


Shoulder Hyung changed Shoulder Hyung to I Bottom



I Bottom: it’s facts


Pushover Boyfie: N e ways


Pushover Boyfie changed Pushover Boyfie to I Top


Closet Thot: ok then

I Top: it’s just Tae left

I Bottom: hurry up 

Tigger: you can’t rush creativity I'm still thinking

Baby Bun: Think faster


Tigger changed Tigger to Gucci Gang


Gucci Gang: one day I will own a collection of Gucci,,, one day

Baby Bun: You were better off just being Tae-Z to match with Jimin

Gucci Gang: .


Gucci Gang changed Gucci Gang to Tae-Z


Tae-Z: you right

I Bottom: okay awesome thank you for changing names I love it I’m satisfied

Closet Thot: I’m really just a thot huh

Golden Hyung: yuh

Closet Thot: Eye