June of 1963
I'm usually left behind. No one noticing me because people notice John and Paul. It has always been Lennon and McCartney that people know and others don't matter, so that's why I was surprised when Brian did notice me and Ringo and treating us all the same with no exceptions. He loves us all, equally I supouse, but sometimes we all do wonder if he ever looked at us even once in the way he looks at some other boys. Or maybe liked us in a romantic way rather than just sexually looking at us. Well, even if he did, he certainly never showed it to neither of us. We did all wonder about John's and his little holiday in Barcelona because John said nothing about the whole trip except denying the "funny" rumours that were and are still going around ever since then. When they both came back from the trip they had a pretty intense relationship and they still do. They never stay in the same room together alone except if they both don't talk or look at each other at all because they're too busy with doing something else.. we were all curious after that trip but none of us had the guts to actually ask John what the hell happened and did anything really happen then, and, it would be too awkward to ask Brian about it, because he actually is gay and asking him any sort of things about his interests in boys can get slightly awkward and embarrassing for both, him and us. I suddenly snap out of me thoughts when I hear Paul and John discussing about something and I look at them with a questioning face..
"Ey what's up with you staring at him like that?", John giggled and smirked a little
"Yeah George, what's going on?"
Paul is looking rather concerned more than ready to tease like John but I keep looking at them still lost and confused..
"Come on! You were staring right at him!" John continued
What..?" I look up at him
"You were looking directly at Brian for the whole time until he left the room because he felt uncomfortable with you looking at him like that while you're so lost in your thoughts!"
Paul said as he sat next to me and I blush when I realize what they're talking about
"What's goin' on with you mate?"
"You never look at anyone fer so long unless it's a hot girl in a pub"
John said as he wriggled his eyebrows
I roll me eyes and raise an eyebrow at him
"I just.. sometimes look at someone or something while I'm thinking about something completely different.."
"Suuuure" John laughed "Explain that to Brian will ye?"
"Right.. I'll go do that so he doesn't think something else..."
"Something like what?" Paul said and giggled
I hear John laugh behind me as I stand up and leave the room to find Brian.. right so.. this shouldn't be too awkward.. right?
I leave the room and walk down the studio hall looking around for Brian. He's probably taking some tea. I enter the kitchen and see him sitting on the couch and drinking a cuppa tea so I sit next to him.
(I don't know how does Abbey Road studio really looks like so I'll be using my imagination only and let's say that there's a small kitchen mixed with a room made like a living room where they made tea and talk and stuff)
He gives me a strange look and I look at him
"So.. about the staring.. I didn't really wanna look at ye like that and fer so long.. I was just thinking about something.."
"No George, really, it's fine. You don't have a reason to justify to me"
"I know but.. you just left the room so sudden and blushed so I just felt like I should tell ye"
"Well thank you for telling me"
He smiles gently at me and I smile back
"Would you like to come with me for lunch today so we can talk?"
He looks at me shy but sweet, so I smile at him
"Sure. But only if ye're paying fer that lunch!"
"Deal!" He laughs and I get up to take a cuppa tea
I can feel his eyes on me as I get up and turn my back to him to take the tea. I can feel him looking at me and thinking about something as I'm taking the cup and pouring the tea in it. I know this might have been a mistake for agreeing with him taking me out to lunch, but at least I will get a meal for free. I do think he's quite of a catch but I can't exactly imagine myself with another man.. not in THAT way. I can only see myself with a guy as a best friend or.. maybe sometimes I do imagine some rather weird scenes in my head, but I can't imagine anything happening to me! Even Brian who's obviously lonely wouldn't want me in that way.. girls do like me.. but that's different. Girls want to have fun and some of them are really slutty and actually like the one night sex.. but guys are different. And I don't.. really like any guy's looks or behaviour. Brian is quite nice. I turn around still lost in my thoughts and look at him thinking again.. about some scenes that probably won't ever happen but it's just nice to imagine that..
He just looks at me sometimes like that for a while without moving. Just looking at me and bot moving his eyes off me! It's making me feel uncomfortable because I don't know what's on his mind. He just seems like he can stare at me for hours and he would if I don't leave the room. I like him, I do, but I would never make him or even try to do anything with me because I know he likes girls and that he wouldn't like me back, so I try to control myself and not fall in love, hopelessly, with him... but damn, I just can't help it looking at him sometimes when nobody's looking at me.. he's a sexy, smart and talented boy that's for sure. I'd just like to get to know him better without being pushy and avoiding John's sarcastic comments. Who am I even kidding? Like he would like me back.. a guy surely has a girl he likes and wants. But his staring is going to drive me crazy in the end.. he suddenly comes and sits next to me and I look at him curious and confused as he's looking at me and sits a little closer so our legs are touching and I suddenly feel myself blush and get hot. He moves a little closer and lays his head almost on my shoulder and I blush more.
"Uh.. are you... okay?" I clear my troat and try to sound normal
"Yeah.." he says as he closes his eyes "just tired"
I sigh and look at him
"I'll drive you home after the lunch so you can get some rest"
I smile to myself as he says that and I look at him realizing how close our heads are to each other.
"Or ye can drive to your house so I can get some rest there"
I laugh, get up and wink at him before leaving the room, knowing that he'll blush so I smirk to myself and go back to the lads.
"So? What did ye say??"
Paul says curious as soon as I enter the room and take my guitar.
"Did he offered you lunch again?"
John says and chuckles a little.
"He said that it's fine and he did ask me to take me out to lunch again"
That has happened before that he asks me out for lunch. He still didn't ask me out for dinner so I guess lunch is alright
"..but this time I said yes"
I can feel John's and Paul's shocked looks at me and I look at them and laugh.
"It's a free lunch! If it was dinner with alcohol then I would refuse!"
"Yeah and you can never say no to the food" John says and laughs
"Hey he offered me lunch and said that we should have a talk" I continue and start playing some melody.
-An hour later Brian comes to the room where they were and looks at George-
"Let's go to that lunch"
I look at him and see that he has a gentle smile. I leave my guitar and stand up.
We leave the studio and we sit in hiscar before he started driving. He turned the radio in his car on to break the silence and, after a couple of minutes..
"Where are we going?"
I look at him and a slight smirk appears on his face
"You'll see.." he replies and smiles to himself thinking I can't see him.
"Okay.." I look out of the window and after a couple of seconds I look back at him..
"Where are we going after the lunch?"
"We'll see. I can drive you home if you'd like that"
"Yeah.." I nodd and shrug "we'll see.." I look out of the window again and we stop in front of some fancy restaurant.
"Well I was hoping for couple of sandwiches but that'll do too" I look at it and open the car door to get out as well as him.
He chuckles "it's my favorite restaurant in London so I wanted to show it to you lads too. But others will see it some other time, I guess.."
I shrug and we both get out of the car and walk in. I look around. It's a pretty fancy place, but rather nice. He walks over to the table for two and we both sit down. We look at the menu and order.
"So.. uhm.." he tries to start a conversation and I look at him.
"What was all that staring about?" He looks at me and I try to keep it calm
"Well I told ye haven't I?"
"Yes.. but no.. I mean.. you've been doing it for months.. and it's slowly going to drive me crazy.." he sighs and I look away not replying for a moment
"Is it? I haven't noticed it.."
"George.." he says with a slightly warning tone and I look up at him again.
"What's going on?" He says soft and I blush.
I can't tell him what's really going on. Not here. Not now. Not ever.. I'm not queer, am I?? My head is just full of thoughts..
"Nothing" I reply after a moment
"Don't lie to me.. I know something's going on. You've been distracted lately. You know you can tell me anything right?"
His eyes. His big, blue, worried eyes staring into mine. I can't tell him but I can't lie to him.. not when he gives me that kind of look..
I just nod and he sighs worried.
"You don't need to worry about me y'know"
"It's stronger than me, George"
"Because I care about you"
I look down again and a guy brings our meals and serves them. Brian politely thanks him and we start eating. After we ate it all up he paid and we left the restaurant. We both get into his car and he looks at me.
"Where to?" He looks at me
"Where are ye going after you drop me home?"
He starts the car
"Probably just home"
"Are ye alone there?"
He looks at me
"Care if I join ye then?" I smile and he does as well as I say it
"Not at all. But.. are ye sure?" He starts driving and I keep looking at him
"Completely. I have nothing to do for the rest of the day anyway so I can at least keep ye company"
He blushes slightly and turns the radio on. Elvis is on and I can hear him humming quietly. I smile to myself and as he keeps humming I join him.