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Just a monster

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Friday nights had become one of the few days of the week Loki looked forward to. Because it was the start of the weekend, things didn't have to end early. He could hang out with Peter past midnight, extend game night with Steve and Bucky. Everything just seemed better.


At least it usually did. The morning started with Peter calling to tell him Aunt May was taking him out for the weekend to see family. Steve and Bucky had gone out on a mission. Everyone had plans. Everyone but Loki had plans. On days like this Loki felt alone and unwanted. He'd already gained more weight which didn't help him either. Granted he'd also gotten taller, probably because magic wasn't suppressing his figure but it just made him look more out of place.


“Guess I'll order take out and occupy myself with a movie,” he sighed. “Friday could you put in an order for my usual. It doesn't matter where I'm not picky.”


“Already done sir it will be here in twenty minutes. Might I recommend a film for you as well?”


“I suppose so. Do you have anything that could relate to a lonely three hundred pound frost giant freak?”


Loki's request was clearly sarcastic but somehow Friday managed to find movies with a character facing similar loneliness and self loathing. Halfway through Bram Stoker's Dracula, Friday informed him the food had arrived. Placed on the counter, Loki could see two pizzas, a two liter of soda and container of cookies. He should have specified to Friday that it was just him this evening. He couldn't possibly eat all of this on his own.


“Thank you Friday. It's a bit much for me to handle on my own but I should have mentioned beforehand I was alone tonight.”


“My apologies sir. Notify me if you need anything else.”


Friday went silent again. Loki wished Friday would stay. Computer or not she did keep him company. Instead he grabbed the food from the counter and retreated to his room.


Tony had finally called it a night in the lab around eleven. It was the weekend after all. The tower was silent and empty. Everyone had plans this evening it seemed. Everyone, that is, but Tony Stark.


“Sir while I know you would like to relax for the evening I have a feeling you should check in on Loki. He seems to be in both physical and emotional distress.”


Loki was still here? Usually Fridays he spent with Peter. Perhaps he cancelled and left the god to his studies. Still it wouldn't hurt to see what the problem was. Hopefully Loki didn't accidentally poison himself again. The door was unlocked and Tony could hear sounds from the room. It sounded like music or something similar. The groaning could only be heard when Tony open the door and crept into the room.


“Loki everything alright in here? Friday said you were in pain.”


He stopped to take in the site before him. Two empty pizza boxes and half a bottle of soda sat on the couch next to Loki. Loki was an absolute sight. His shirt pushed up above his large taut stomach which was a pale blue. His hands gently rubbed as he whimpered in pain. Tony wasn't sure what to do with him now.


“Loki what happened? Let's talk.”


His voice was quiet as he moved the boxes to the floor and sat beside Loki. The other man just looked at him lost for words for a moment before quietly mumbling.


“I’m a monster. A monster that no one loves or cares about. Just leave me alone to rot Tony.”


So that's what it was. Loki felt lonely and based on what movies Friday had lined up for him, almost all of them being about people or monsters who were feared and hated, was depressed. He would have to talk to Friday about that later. Now he had a sobbing frost giant with a stomach ache to calm down.


“Hey no need to talk like that. You're not a monster and we care about you. Had I known you were free this evening, I would have spent time with you. You didn't need to sit up here alone and destroy two pizzas.”


“That wasn't really my plan it just happened. But look at me, I'm a monster. I've got blue skin, blood red eyes, even Odin said I was a monster.”


The tears had slowed but Loki was still upset. Tony was really starting to feel bad for him.


“Ok I'll admit you've done some pretty bad things but so has everyone else. I'm far from innocent, hell my company made weapons for so long. There is always going to be someone out there that thinks you're a monster for something that happened in the past.”


The room was silent. Loki was not sure what to say. If he wasn't a monster, what was he? Right now, he was tired and once he stopped feeling sorry for himself; he felt the pain in his stomach.


“Damn my stomach feels like it's going to burst. What was I thinking?”


Without skipping a beat, Tony placed a hand on Loki's overstuffed stomach. He rubbed small, soothing circles. It felt so good but when the two made eye contact, it occurred what was going on. Loki went rigid after figuring out just what Tony was doing. Almost as if he'd done this before. Tony's face was a deep shade of red.


“You can't possibly tell me you're into this Tony. Do you wish it was you stuffing me until I couldn't move off the couch?”


He was caught. Tony had done this before, just not with someone who he knew. But seeing Loki there on the couch, stomach full and tight, he couldn't help himself. His instinct was to touch him, feel him. He wanted to make all the pain go away.


“I'm sorry. It was fucked up and I shouldn't have done that and-”


“I've been waiting for you to admit it for awhile really. I'm not blind Tony, I see you watching me when I join everyone for meals. You're so distracted by you desires. It made me uncomfortable at first but now I've just been waiting on you to make a move and admit it. Perhaps we could work something out.”