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They took our innocent home

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I can't open up to you

Me and my friends are lonely

I don't know what to do

I always figured I'd be the one to die alone

He got the call at 6am. Neil had gone for his normal morning run and usually didn’t come back until 6:30. Andrew had no reason to suspect something had happened. That's why it hurt all the more when the man on the phone informed him that Neil, his love, was in the hospital on life support. He was dying, without Andrew.

The hospital was half an hour away. Andrew was there in 10 minutes. They brought him to a room on the third floor, and told him to talk softly and calmly, they told him his junkie had only hours to live.

Neil was unconscious on the bed. He was breathing softly. He looked so at peace, covered in bandages. Tubes stuck out of his left arm. Andrew recalled, years ago, helping him learn to score with that arm. He’d have to stop using that one for awhile. It would be sore when he woke up. When He would wake up. He would never leave Andrew like this.

Six hours later, Neil Minyard- Josten was declared dead. 12:12 pm May 26.

Andrew stayed by him, holding his hand, tracing the scars there all six painful hours. He stayed for another hour after. The hospital asked what he wanted to do with the body. He waited a minute for his emotions to shut down for the last time. The dead look in his eyes was now permanent, Andrew’s soul died with Neil. Andrew told them to contact Wymack.

I cope smothered in smoke

Dehydrated my soul

I know things that you don't

I've met murdering folk

And they took one of our own

They took our innocent home

Andrew didn’t contact the foxes. Coach was Neil’s other emergency contact. He probably already told them. Predictable soon they would be calling to comfort him. If they were smart they would at the very least stay physically away from him. He did not expect them to be smart.

He was correct.

Two days later, Nicky and the rest of the foxes, even Aaron, were on his doorstep. He closed the door in their faces, not even allowing them to speak. They knocked on the door a bit longer but finally went away once Andrew almost stabbed a pregnant Dan in the stomach. He hadn’t threatened any of them in years. The fact that he was so much worse now than he was even in his first year at Palmetto was worrying, to say the least

Andrew was smoking more now than ever. Neil had kept his habit in check most of his life because even though he smoked too he knew when to stop. Neil was healthy. He was too damn healthy. If Andrew had made him stay that morning. If he kept Neil in bed just an hour longer…

Andrew thought about how he died. How ironic it was. Hit by a speeding semi-truck. Neil had run from death for most of his life, Andrew had protected him from them. Andrew had met his demons. But he was still dead ten years after he stopped running. Neil was what brought the foxes together. He was home for Andrew and everyone else.

That home was gone now. Andrew will never find a new one.

So I can't open up to you

Me and my friends are lonely

I don't know what to do

I always figured I'd be the one to die alone

Andrew had viewed death as little more than an inconvenience for everyone involved. His opinion hadn’t changed. Neil’s funeral was today. Coach had called him. Bee had shown up to try and get him to come. Andrew wasn’t interested. Everyone else deserves time to grieve together. Andrew thinks he would murder everyone there. They could pretend Neil meant so much to them but he was never truly their lifeline. They didn’t understand that his lifeline was cut. Andrew went with Bee to his grave hours after the service. Neither of them spoke a word.

So is there any lesson in confessing that you posted up

Like Jesus on the corner selling baggies full of blessing?

Is it stressing all the things that you have morally accepted?

Is it vexing wearing clothes that you have bled in?

Andrew had certain moral values. Some of them were given to him by Neil. He’s accepted that people are shit most the time and that’s okay. But Neil also taught him that if you can somehow give children hope that there are good people out there you should (aka don’t be a dick to children). So every Saturday they went to the hospital to talk to the kids who have cancer. Andrew wasn’t going to stop just because Neil was gone. Neil would have yelled at him for that. Andrew would do it this week and then never again. He walked to the front desk and signed in. The desk lady was cheery as usual. The media still didn’t know Neil was dead. She politely asked where his other half was. He just told her he had family obligations today and couldn’t make it.

Andrew didn’t like picking favorite children. He knew all too well what it was like to be the least favorite kid in a room. Neil, however, had always been partial to the teenagers. So Andrew visited all of the smaller kids first. One little girl, about 5 years old, name was Eva. She was a foster kid and the state was paying for her hospital bills at the moment. He and Neil had talked extensively about adopting her. They never actually did though and Andrew couldn’t bring himself to raise her on his own. He hoped she would have a good life though. Andrew was realizing that unfortunately, a lot of his life had been molded around Neil. He had made Andrew’s existence meaningful. Andrew was going to have to find a new reason to live and wasn’t that a pain in the ass.

Neil’s death was highly inconvenient.

Next Andrew visited the teens. He told them Neil was gone. He told them not to tell anyone otherwise reporters would be all over them asking questions. He didn’t want the press invading their lives.

On his way out of the building he told the secretary that he would never be coming back.

Picture perfect victim, overwhelmed and so sadistic

I was looking for a purpose, what a chance you had some with you

On the street when I forgot, the city breathes when I do not

If I leave it does not stop here, no

So is there any treason in the tricky little price I pay?

Oh is there any treason in the tricky little price I pay?

A fucking car wreck that’s how Neil had to go and die, the mafia couldn’t get him, exy didn’t kill him, Andrew didn’t push him off the roof, no the car of someone he’ll never care to meet killed him. Fuck Neil for making Andrew so dependent on him. Fuck him for dying first. Fuck him. Andrew felt dead, cold and lifeless. The person who killed Neil is still living and Andrew can’t bring himself to do a damn thing about it. Andrew should have let Riko kill him. Andrew should have killed him. He was never supposed to be this attached. Neil made it seem like getting attached wasn’t so bad for once. Neil had lie to him, not through words but through the sense of security that he had brought Andrew. So Fuck Neil and his stupid lying face.

I can't open up to you

Me and my friends are lonely

I don't know what to do

I always figured I'd be the one to die alone

I always figured I'd be the one to die alone

I always figured that I'd be the one to die alone

The media found out Andrew ignored every reporter that came up to him. Every. Single. Fucking. One. He had enough bullshit from the press to last a lifetime and then some. He smoked more. Played rougher.Doing everything he could to die young. He drank himself to sleep on the really bad nights. One night he dropped Neil’s cats off at Kevin’s and left, never came back even when Kevin invited him over. Eventually the inevitable happened He got lung cancer from smoking too much, he was told he had to have surgery on his liver from the excessive drinking. He refused treatment. He died 2 years, 38 days and 17 hours after Neil.