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Deep and Dark is the Belly of the Beast

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Stiles wasn’t stupid. He knew he was annoying. He knew he got on most people’s last nerve because people had been telling him for as long as he could remember. But the thing was, and it was a pretty big thing, Scott had always been immune to it, hadn’t cared, or just hadn’t agreed. He’d always been supportive, and protective, and there. Until now. Until the whole werewolf thing. Until Scott had somehow turned into a cool kid with other options. Girlfriend options, yes, and Stiles could forgive him that one, because, well, sex, come on… But it wasn’t just the girlfriend options Scott was taking. Scott was taking bro-time options. And not just with wolves. Scott was hanging out with Isaac, with Boyd and Erica. Scott was hanging out with Lydia—and didn’t that fucking sting—and he was hanging out with Danny, and Josh, and Brady, and a bunch of other Lacrosse Jocks. Stiles hadn’t seen him outside of school and pack meetings in weeks, and even then it was really only in passing. And it fucking hurt. Because in Stiles’ mind that showed that all those years Stiles thought he had a true brother in arms, he’d actually just had another loner kid who was desperate for someone, anyone other than Stiles to pay him the slightest attention and then it was adios annoying ADHD loser, hello shiny new cool dudes who add to my worth as a person.

Yeah, Stiles was bitter. And lonely. And just a little bit fucking devastated.

He sat on Derek’s couch in the loft watching Scott and Isaac play wrestle, listened to the others cheering them on, and he felt sick to his stomach. The pack meeting wrapped up and Scott didn’t even hang back for a lift, he just left without saying goodbye, and with his arm around Isaac’s shoulder.

Almost fifteen minutes had passed before Derek noticed Stiles was still there. Because what the fuck else did he have to do on a Friday night when everyone else he knew was out having fun and partying?

“Stiles, why are you still here?” Derek said.

“Because everyone left.” Everyone left without me.

“And that means you have to leave too. Because the meeting is over and I don’t entertain teenagers for the good of my health.”

“You have perfect health. It’s not as though it would do you any harm.” Even the thrill of arguing with Derek and lost its shine.

“Yeah, well, that doesn’t mean I have patience for moping teenagers.” Derek threw himself on the couch next to Stiles. “What the hell’s wrong with you, anyway? You’ve barely said a word all night.”

“Maybe I just got sick of annoying everyone. Which, let’s face it happens every time I open my mouth.”

“That’s hardly new.”

“That’s right. Nothing new. So I’ll just go home and sit on my own for the rest of my life, because even the people I care about, even my best friend, is sick of the sight of me.” Stiles swallowed the tears threatening. “Good for nothing, so I may as well go and do nothing. Alone.” He jumped up and grabbed his jacket.

“Whoa, whoa, hang on a minute.” Derek materialised in front of the door, blocking Stiles’ route to…nothing. “What exactly is going on?”

“You got it in one. I’m annoying. Nobody wants to spend time with me.”

“Why didn’t you go out with the others?”

“Because they didn’t invite me, Derek. They’ve been getting together and hanging out without me for weeks. Tonight, I figured I’d wait until one of them spoke to me before saying anything, and guess what?”

“That’s why you’ve been so quiet, you were waiting for someone to speak to you?”

“And I didn’t get a single hello when I arrived, or a single goodbye when they were all calling out their goodbyes to you. Not a fucking word, all evening. Barely a word in school these days either.”

“I’ll talk to them.”

“Don’t bother.” Stiles stepped around Derek and opened the door. “And don’t pretend like you really care. I’ll see you next week.”

 

Stiles spent the rest of the evening clearing his homework pile, completing extra credit, and doing laundry in between painfully embarrassing moments of breaking down in wracking sobs. He couldn’t even find the enthusiasm to jerk off.