If asked, Naruto could probably rattle off a multitude of things wrong with Uchiha Sasuke, formerly known as the last Uchiha until freaky dojutsu business happened and his brother magically rose from the dead. Apart from the obvious—which included, but wasn’t limited to, things like the existence of said freaky dojutsu and the impossibly large stick lodged up his ass—there was the whole obsession with his clan-killing older brother in his youth, his apprenticeship to the creepiest missing-nin known to the Elemental Countries, and the list went on and on and on.
Seriously, there were so many things wrong with the stupid bastard that Naruto would die from old age before he managed to list them all.
So how he’d ended up going from chasing the stupid bastard’s ass to chasing the stupid bastard’s ass bamboozled Naruto.
…Okay, so the bastard was the sort of pretty that made almost every girl rabidly horny at some point in their lives. If Naruto discounted the duck-butt hairstyle and the resting bitch face, there was some potential there. After all, no average shinobi could beat out actual kunoichi in the beauty department, even if said shinobi did stack the deck with Deidara’s and Ino’s intervention—and skin that pale after years of nomadic travelling would be impossible for any other human being.
Also, brains. When he wasn’t too busy being a vitriolic asshole, Sasuke had proper manners—not enough to stop him from sneering at all and sundry, but enough to endear him to crotchety old elders who’d otherwise have his head for turning traitor. Naruto wasn’t the most observant person, but even he knew when the bastard was being his bastardly self and when he was acting nicely.
And it was kinda hard to miss the fact that, as of late, Sasuke had been both weirdly pretty and pretty weird around Naruto. Sequinned skirts notwithstanding, there was definitely more gel than usual in his duck-butt whenever Naruto met up with him at Ichiraku’s.
But back to the point—Naruto had definitely caught Sasuke eyeing him a couple of times, and not with his usual dead-eyed glare either. Given that the bastard’s facial expressions often ranged from ‘bored’ to ‘pissed’, it’s… well.
It’s really as encouraging as Naruto can get, given his very unfortunate long-term preoccupation with Sasuke.
“Oi, moron,” a snide voice says, breaking into Naruto’s thoughts and almost sending him sprawling out of his chair. “I know you love ramen, but nobody wants to see your eyeballs dropping into it.”
Honestly, why do I put up with him, Naruto bemoans, only to turn in time to see the pretty bastard lick his lips clean of ramen broth and—oh, right, that’s why.
So. Naruto likes Sasuke, and Sasuke seems to like him back.
…Then why were they sitting here, eating ramen at Ichiraku’s, in what’s very clearly not a date?
“Don’t strain yourself,” Sasuke says, and pokes him right between his eyebrows.
In between more flailing, flying narutomaki and squashed cherry tomatoes, Naruto sees the almost-smile on Sasuke’s lips and thinks. Wonders at the casual touches, so rare that he’s never seen them beyond their lunch meet-ups and occasional home visits, and…
“Hey bastard,” Naruto begins, when they’ve settled down and he’s inhaled another bowl of ramen, “what are we?”
Predictably enough, Sasuke raises his brow at the question, but obligingly answers, “Shinobi, you idiot.”
“You’re an idiot, you smug bastard!” Naruto reflexively shouts, but calms down and tacks on, “And I meant, like… us.”
“In which ‘us’ means…”
“Goddammit, are you being dense on purpose?!” Ignorant of the stares from other patrons, Naruto throws his hands into the air and yells, “Do you like me or not, Sasuke?”
For a moment, time stops. People pause in the middle of the street. A perfect cherry tomato slips through Sasuke’s fingers and plops onto the floor.
And then Sasuke presses two fingertips to his forehead and sighs, “Naruto, I don’t like ramen.
“I don’t meet up with anyone else for lunch,” he continues, right over Naruto’s outraged protests over his favourite food, “and I don’t meet them personally.”
In the sudden silence that follows, Sasuke turns back to his last remaining cherry tomato and deadpans, “I can’t believe Konoha wants to make this oblivious idiot their Hokage.”
“You take that back!” Naruto shouts, but then Sasuke’s pressing a cold hand to his cheek and leaning into his personal space and what are you doing, your face’s too close—
“We’ve been dating for half a year and you still haven’t realized,” Sasuke whispers against Naruto’s lips, and… oh.
Guess I’ll yell at him later, Naruto dazedly thinks, and kisses Sasuke right back.
(in the background, Deidara rips his latest sketch in disgust and slams a pouch of coins into Ino’s smug hands)
(not even the sound of enraged yelling, terrified screaming and earth-shaking explosions catch Naruto’s attention, but it’s probably for the best anyway)