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Distractions.

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– No way – Bill shook her head. – I’m not entering in that cell again.

– Is not a cell! – Nardole was shoked.

– She is stuck in there for years. Yeah, looks like a cell to me.

– C’mon, Bill! I’m busy! Plus, you won’t be alone with her! The Doctor is there too.

Bill glanced pitiful at Nardole. He was standing in the middle of a flooded room, drenched and ashamed. The attacks eyebrows would be furious as ever when the Doctor knowledge the shit Nardole made with the piping. It would be better if she lay the groundwork. He wouldn’t scream so loud at her. Well, at least was what she expected.

– Ok – she rolled her eyes. – But you owe me one!

Nardole profusely thanked her and practically pushed her out of the room. Bill sighed. The steps towards the vault seemed a walk to the gallows.

Bill approached the hand to knock at the door until a giggled stopped her. Shivers ran down her spine when she recognize the laugh… Missy’s laugh. She still didn’t know how the Doctor could befriend with a murder. This doubt always make her wonder if they are less different than the appearance showed.

She decided to open the vault like Nardole taught her. Less interaction in that dungeon was better. As soon as she unlocked the last cleat, the doors opened and showed a scene that still made her want to throw acid on her own eyes even after several days later.

The evil Time Lady was on top of him – not only on top, but nearly sitting on his lap – wearing only a cotton chemise matched with white skirts made of a fabric so thin that was almost transparent. The Doctor was leaned on his elbows, looking at the Mistress with some kind of gleam on his eyes, dressing an unbuttoned shirt. The hair loosened on her shoulders and the sweat on their faces indicated such vigorous activity they were making.

Bill cried with terror. She tried to cover her eyes with her hands, however was too late: the scene of the two last and lonely Time Lords attached at each other was already printed on her mind forever.

– Bill? – The Doctor asked. – What is wrong?

– DO YOU STILL DARE TO ASK? – Her hands were still glued on her face. She moved her fingers to spy their reactions. Missy was looking over the shoulder with a very amused gaze while the Doctor only frowned. These two naughty aliens didn’t even moved from their positions! – You… You… You weren’t supposed to do this!

– What? Why? Oh! – The Doctor breathed an impatient sight. – I know I was supposed to correcting the tests, but a little distraction won’t delay anything.

– Distraction? Do you call this a distraction? – She started to shake in a mix of shame, anger and disgust. – Besides… You are getting distracted with that monster!

– Oi! – Missy called. – The monster is listening!

– I should have known – the knot on her throat only grew bigger and bigger. – Lectures… Oh, yes I see what kind of lectures you are giving to her… I should have known you play “Daddy meets mommy” down here!

– Oh, there is another name for this game? The Doctor and I are very used to…

– I don’ wanna know! – She screamed again.

– Bill, what is the matter? Did you seriously interrupted us because of nothing? – The Doctor said.

– Oh, I’m truly sorry to make you cease your activity – Bill replied. – But…Nardole…He… Oh, talk with him later! – She turned on her heels and tried to walk away with all the dignity she could until Missy spoke again.

– Hey, girl! Are you sure don’t you wanna join us?

The sandal castle of dignity was wrecked by Missy’s wave and Bill ran away from the vault screaming.

The doors closed. Nobody in the vault spoke until the last cleat was locked.

Missy and the Doctor glanced at each other.

– I don’t get it – the Doctor said. – What is wrong with her?

Missy shrugged.

– Maybe certain individuals are not much into a good match of Twister. – She didn’t know what funnier: his confusion or her shock. Anyway, it was difficult not to laugh so she pretended to unfold a part of the mat full of colorful spheres. – Shall we continue?

– Sure – he nodded. – Remind me to send Nardole here to fix the temperature.

Missy leaned to the left. The Twister needle spun.