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No Coffee!

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There was no coffee! Rodney looked in horror at the lab pot before turning his gaze on his minions.

"Who had the last of the coffee and didn't put a new pot on?" He waited in vain for a reply before turning back to the pot with a huff, opening the cabinet to get a bag of beans. An empty shelf greeted him, and when he turned to interrogate the other scientists he found they had all fled. Striding into his inner office, he resigned himself to making use of his own vastly superior stash and accepting that he would have to share it. However, opening his desk drawer he found only an empty space where he was sure he had left the last of his latest personal shipment of Blue Hawaiian beans. He grabbed his mug and left to find the mess, desperate enough to make do with the swill that was served there. As he stalked through the hallways he barely noticed the way people melted away from him but was surprised to find the mess almost deserted, despite it being mid-morning.

Advancing to the counter, he reached for the pot that was usually there, only to find it too missing. Looking up he was dismayed to see that all the stations were empty of their pots and that there was no convenient kitchen hand upon whom he could unload his fury. Even those who had been seated when he entered seemed to have made haste to disappear while he was looking away.

"This is ridiculous!" he muttered, looking again in search of anyone who could point the way to a source of caffeine. "Is there anyone here?" He had raised his voice in hopes of gaining a reply, but only heard the echo of his query returning to him from hidden corners of the kitchens.

A moment's thought and he realised that something must be very wrong for there to be no one in the mess. Tapping his radio to switch to the central channel, he found no automatic reply to his initiating the link and dropped his mug on the table in front of him before turning and sprinting to the control room. This time, as he moved through the corridors he met none of the other inhabitants of Atlantis; not even a stray Marine. Raising his hand once again to his radio, he switched it to the private channel he had set up for his team.

"Colonel, are you there?" he asked impatiently. "John, I need you to answer me, even if you are busy Kirking around." Silence was the only response - not even a crackle of static came from his earpiece. "Teyla? Ronan?" With each name he called his voice became shriller, and the tone moved from impatient to anxious. He tapped his radio once more to switch back to the general channel. "Can anyone hear this?" he begged, "if you can, please respond immediately."

Again silence was the only response, even as he reached the door to the control room, only to find it stubbornly refuse to open for him. He moved to the panel to release the mechanism manually, but as he reached for the control crystal it exploded in his hand and he knew no more.


"Rodney, can you hear me, lad?"

"McKay, time to stop lollygagging and wake up now!"

"Proboha Rodney, probudit. Nechci muset udělat vaše papírování znovu tento týden!"

"Wha-?" he began, opening his eyes to be greeted by the sight of the infirmary ceiling before it was blocked by the face of Carson.

"There ye are laddie", started the doctor, "take it easy now."

"What happened?" Rodney managed to get his question out as he began to sit up.

"You fainted McKay!" was the response from Sheppard, with a smirk on his face larger than Rodney could remember ever seeing before.

"But I ate breakfast, and it can't be past lunch time yet, even if the lab coffee was already empty"

"What do you mean the lab pot was empty? You've not been there yet this morning McKay" was the reply to this from Sheppard, even as he looked uneasily at Carson. "I thought you said he didn't hit his head, Doc?"

"He didn't!" replied the doctor, even as he moved to check Rodney's pupils again.

"Well where was I then Colonel?" demand Rodney, brushing Carson's hands aside as he did.

"You were in the boardroom, McKay, where we were getting the latest news from Cheyenne. You fainted just after Woolsey told us that the Daedalus would be delayed in its latest trip and we would have to ration the coffee to ensure it lasted until the next shipment arrived!"

To Sheppard's amusement, Rodney fainted once more on hearing the news again.