Derek leaned back against the chair. He closed his eyes and took some deep breathes. “My chocolate Adonis, what are you thinking about?” Derek smiled. He opened his eyes to look at Garcia. She sat next to him, her eyes concerned.
“Nothing in particular,” Derek lied. It was senseless to lie to Garcia, he knew that, because even though she wasn’t a profiler in first place, she was his friend from the very first beginning, and she probably knew him better than anyone else in their team did.
“My hot stuff, you know I don’t like lies.” Garcia had a small smile curling around her lips. Sometimes Derek wondered how it could have happened that they had become best friends, because they were like day and night – actually they couldn’t be more different.
“We are like black and white chocolate, you know that, right?” Derek said, making Garcia laugh out loud.
“That could have been my words.”
Derek smiled. “So we have something in common.”
Garcia nodded. “But that’s not why you are moody.” Damn sharp senses Garcia had. Her eyes got smaller and she seemed to scan him properly. “Are you hiding here?”
Derek felt a hot wave rushing through his body. How the hell did she know that? “Did you take profiling lessons?”
Garcia raised her hands. “Oh no, my dear, don’t try to change the topic here.” She was really good with that. Maybe they should think about taking her more into the actual profiling work. But maybe she was just good with reading him, Derek Morgan?
“Okay, you got me baby girl, I am hiding,” he sighed. “Please let me hide in your personal nerd cave.”
“Why are you hiding?” She wanted to know. Of course she wouldn’t give up on asking him about his reasons. And Derek knew it was senseless to try hiding the facts.
“I don’t want to see …” he stopped. “Certain people.” Derek had never been someone who blushed easily, but now he could feel his cheeks burning a little. That was so not typically him, and he hated it being like this. This was definitely not Derek Morgan, the one who couldn’t be affected by anything or anyone. He was the Rock after all. Well, maybe he didn’t have the muscles the Rock had, but he was strong and no one could bring him to feel ashamed, embarrassed or weak – except certain people.
“You mean you don’t want to see certain very intelligent people?”
Derek grunted. “Am I really an open book?” Garcia leaned closer, patting his knee.
“You are just open for me, my chocolate Adonis.”
Derek laughed. “You know how that sounds?”
“Naughty but nice?” Garcia asked with a shrug. She really had never been shy or easily embarrassed.
Derek knew why he loved Garcia from the bottom of his heart. He could feel down and crushed, his life turning into a mess, but Garcia would always find a way to make him laugh and feel better. This was a rare talent, and Derek was overall happy to have a friend like her at his side. “I love you Penelope Garcia,” he said honestly.
She cocked her head. “I love you too, chocolate boy, but you need to get things cleared, because otherwise you’ll drown in your feelings.”
“Are all women like you?” Derek sighed, rubbing his face.
“How are we?”
“Know it all, but in a good way know it all’s,” Derek explained.
Garcia shrugged. “Maybe. But, my pretty boy, I am special, have always been. So don’t compare me with others.”
“You are my baby girl at all, of course you are special,” Derek agreed.
She nodded at his words, like she was perfectly aware of how special she was. “And now let’s talk about the other special human being you are hiding from. What happened?”
“Well,” Derek started. “ I somehow confessed and ran away.” He could see Garcia suppressing a smile.
“You ran away? The great Derek Morgan ran away?” She laughed out. “And how can you ‘somehow’ confess?”
“Don’t know why.” Derek shrugged. Of course he knew exactly why he ran away, but felt embarrassed because of it. He had never really confessed to someone, and in the end Spencer had always been something like his little brother. He had always wished to protect him, to be there for him, no matter what Reid would need. After some time he had realized that something had changed. First it was just a tiny stinging pain in his belly when he saw the other, but slowly his tiny sparkle, which he couldn’t name at the beginning, turned into something bigger, something he slowly started to understand. And he got afraid and panic rose in him. First he wanted to deny everything, calling it a spontaneous interested in the other, than he tried to deny that the feelings grew bigger, but in the end he couldn’t hide it from himself anymore. There was something happening to him, something Spencer had woken up in Derek, and this wasn’t only a big brother feeling.
Three months had passed since he had decided to accept the feelings, but hiding them, just that Garcia had already guessed that something was wrong, and she had pushed Derek weeks till he finally spilled out what was wrong with him. She had laughed and had told him, that everything was alright and that this was nothing he had to be ashamed of. On that evening Derek had thought a lot about his feelings. Together with some beer he had finally figured out, why he acted so untypically him. He wasn’t afraid because he thought that feeling something for Spencer was in generally wrong, he was afraid that it was wrong, because they shared such a strong bond. He was afraid of losing the other with a wrong step or a wrong signal he could give.
What if Spencer reacts this way or that way? Questions like these hunted Derek, and it made him acting like he had been a teenager who was in love for the first time. And he hated that, because he had never been like that before. He was torn between talking with Spencer about it, or keep it as secret till he’d die.
Garcia wanted him to be honest, but Derek couldn’t. He feared that Spencer would push him away, would exclude him from his life when he’d find out. He knew Spencer was tolerant about everything, but he didn’t know how he’d react when it involved him. One part in him knew that Spencer would never push him away completely, but Derek couldn’t overcome the fear that this would happen.
“I told you, Derek, Spencer admires you and he always searches for your accompany.” It was rare that Garcia called him by his name. “He won’t push you away, no matter what you tell him. By the way, what did you tell him?” She asked.
Derek sighed. “I asked him for a date.”
Garcia stared at him with eyes wide open, her lips tugging into a grin, but she tried hiding it. “That’s cute,” she tried to sound cool and relaxed, but Derek knew she wanted to hug him and celebrate a kind of happy ‘Derek overcame his fear’ festival. “And what did he say?”
“Yes,” Derek replied.
“Wait a moment.” Garcia leaned back against her chair. For a moment she just stared at Derek. “He said yes and you ran away?”
Derek nodded. It sounded much weirder when he talked about it then just thinking about the situation. “I should go and talk with him, right?”
Garcia nodded. “I think everything will be alright, my you big chocolate bunny.”
Derek stood up and kissed Garcia’s cheek. “Thank you baby girl.”
“Always,” she answered, staring at him till he had left the room.
Derek found Spencer in the kitchen, preparing some coffee. “Hey, pretty boy.” Derek stepped next to Spencer and leaned against the counter.
“Derek,” Spencer said with a smile.
“I am sorry that I ran away,” Derek said. He blinked when Spencer started laughing.
“I never thought that someone or something could make you freak out.” Spencer teased him.
Derek shrugged. “It shows that you are important to me, pretty boy.” He stepped closer after he had looked around if someone was looking at them. He brushed Spencer’s cheek with his thumb. “I don’t want something between us change, because of my feelings.”
Spencer blushed visibly. “Something will change,” he answered. “Maybe not after the first date, because I never let someone in my pants after the first date, but maybe with the second,” he explained.
Derek had to laugh out loud. With just a few words Spencer had made all fears and worries Derek had carried inside, wash away.