“There was nowhere I could go that wouldn't be you.”
― Jeffrey Eugenides, Middlesex
Barnabas heard Willie's almost silent approach, and returned his focus to the room, turning to drink in Willie's beauty in the candlelight, relishing his pale and sober face as he stood at the doorway. Willie was barefoot, his shirt unbuttoned and open, which he knew Barnabas enjoyed as a sign of Willie's readiness for Barnabas' use of his body.
Standing inside the doorway, it seemed to Barnabas that Willie had come without the preparation or means to go anywhere, except to him. Barnabas touched his own chest, slipping his fingers under the buttoned layer of his scarlet waist coat. Willie slipped off his shirt, and then his pants, letting them fall to the floor. Barnabas did not move. He gazed at Willie's body, wanting him. Willie felt his gaze, and felt the vulnerability of his nakedness the only answer to Barnabas' call, the total surrender of his body for Barnabas' pleasure.
Barnabas lifted his arm, holding out his hand. Willie moved silently across the floor, looking into Barnabas' eyes as he placed his hand in his.
"Master," he said, bowing gently, relaxing into his role, feeling Barnabas taking possession of him.
"My Willie," Barnabas said, and Willie lowered his eyes.
Barnabas stood very close to Willie, pulling him into him with his hand, sharing with him a portion of his intoxicating vampire breath, which increased Willie's euphoria. He was listening with pleasure to Willie's heart quickening as he led him to the center of the room, to the place that he kept always ready for Willie and for himself. He left Willie standing in the center of the close candlelight as he moved the two standing candelabra back, lighting another near his tools, creating a large semi-circle of gently shifting, golden light surrounding the dark alcove, with room enough for working with a whip.
Barnabas removed his over coat and waist coat, and loosened his shirt, feeling the grandness of his costume and his play, with his lace cuffs and button placket, his high boots on a stage of finely polished boards, and all around him the sounds in the great room so different from other parts of the house. The room had its own, special kind of silence, where the smallest sounds of breathing and of movement were augmented, and where the greater sounds seemed to last a little longer.
He was listening to Willie now, hearing the subtle language he understood from Willie's sounds, noticing with deep pleasure the changes as Willie slipped into the training and habits Barnabas had fashioned in him. The sounds were very pleasing, and Barnabas used the nonverbal language of sound to guide his expert pleasuring of Willie, to challenge without undoing Willie's ability to turn physical pain into pleasure,
II. The language of intimacy
Barnabas was a sadist. He limited this sadism with Willie. But his wild nature as a vampire was to be so without limits, to torture and consume until death. Pain was his tool, no matter what implement he was using. He needed to change using pain, forcing sensations through lover or prey, through places in their being where the sensations could not be processed, where they broke a human down, almost to nothing. With pain and fear he entered his victims, finding every place in them, conquering them. This was intimacy to him, to become their only thought, their only reality, their only recourse. This was intimacy. This was real. The sounds of a person being undone because of his actions made him more, augmented his force and presence. This is what was erotic to him. This is what pleasure meant to him, a Master and a dominant.
There was a clarion silence after the sounds of a person coming undone. Barnabas felt a profound silence for hours, for days after it. It was a spiritual state, and he did not take it lightly. Willie was also silent as he returned from his undoing, as he was rebuilt by his ego, the strong ego of a submissive, always knowing and trusting that he was precious and well taken care of, that he had been taken there and brought back, cherished and loved with profound admiration, and earning a certain, sacred trust and obligation.
Willie had accepted that Barnabas sometimes took him past the point of consent. Barnabas needed to chase, and to terrorize. He needed to control Willie's body and mind with fear and pain. It gave him a wild pleasure that his vampire nature demanded, and which he did not always keep in check. Willie submitted to this from Barnabas, giving him the pleasure of that necessity, out of love.
Willie's body had begun to tremble with a sort of liquid calamity that he struggled to contain. Barnabas knew he felt tremendous pleasure. Barnabas could play with that pleasure, but he also knew well that he could not take the source of it. It was given to him. Willie gave his all to Barnabas, all that was most precious. Because Willie had this promise from Barnabas: Do not fear for your life, I will never lose control. Let me take you to any of these places, before but not into the unknown. This is my promise.
Barnabas turned to his tools then, enjoying his steeply mounting excitement. He knew well what he wanted first, and became quick and practiced as he selected the leathers, as he walked to Willie, his mind singing with arousal and purpose, a force of breath opening his mouth slightly when Willie anticipated his requirements and held out his hands, wrists together, offering his freedom and sure surrender. Willie caught sight of Barnabas' bared teeth as he reached to Willie's hands, as he wrapped the cuffs on each of Willie's wrists, finding the worn setting for Willie in each tongue, testing the fit with satisfaction.
Barnabas could hear Willie's heart beating faster, his breath getting deeper, a hush sound to his exhale when Barnabas had selected the cuffs, when he first touched Willie's arms, when he pulled strongly on the restraints at his wrists to test their fit, knowing this would thrill Willie. Willie needed to know he was possessed, that he could not get away, that there was no place he could hide. It was an intense freedom from trying. He would be used, and thus, seen; every place in him discovered and conquered, every place in his lover revealed to him as most intimate need and action. This was intimacy to him. This is what pleasure meant to him, a submissive. He had always been this way.
Barnabas clipped the two cuffs together, anticipating and enjoying the certain clinking sound of the unyielding metal fasteners, again moving with his face close enough for Willie to breathe in his vampire breath. To Barnabas' subtle sense, Willie's breath affected him as well, so that he felt that Willie's lips were at his ear, that his breathing changed the pressure inside his ears with each push and pull of his chest.
Barnabas stepped back from Willie, admiring him naked and shivering with anticipation, surrounded by the candlelight, a picture of vulnerability framed by the center of the elegant room. How lovely the way that Willie's arms came together, with the black cuffs an imposing adornment across his lower belly. Again Barnabas lifted his hand, holding it out to Willie, who walked to him. Taller than Willie, Barnabas took up his wrists in one motion, moving them to above his head, slipping the clips over the heavy hook at the edge of the alcove ceiling, breathing again at Willie's face. He knew well that this binding of his hands and the great increase in his vulnerability increased Willie's senses a thousand fold.
Barnabas moved around Willie slowly, listening so closely to his lover, so deeply aroused, feeling his own silent intake of breath when Willie's gasp echoed in the room as he pulled Willie's back into him, moving his hand on his chest, the sensitive place under the little patch of hair there, his sides, his belly, just brushing the top of his erection, his sex which pulled tight against his body when erect. Barnabas stepped back, standing so for a long moment. The light on Willie's skin was so beautiful that Barnabas felt the familiar strangeness, as if he was almost remembering what it was like to make tears.
When Barnabas stepped closely again to Willie's back, he hovered very close to his shoulder, breathing upon it, enjoying the great effect this had on Willie's body. He placed his lips on Willie's shoulder, listening to Willie's sudden inhalation. He opened his lips and let his teeth rest like a bite on Willie, without breaking the skin. Willie pulled away, then straightened again, struggling to stand. A bite at this place of tougher skin—and before a long pleasuring with the whip—would be especially painful.
Willie's movements and exhale were exquisite. He struggled to stay still, still fighting the reflex to pull from an imagined bite, his body no longer his own, though a bite did not come. Barnabas rested his lips on Willie's other shoulder, stopping to listen to his breathing, enjoying his struggle with self-control. He moved around to face Willie, bringing his mouth to Willie's lips, just brushing them with his own, licking them, licking his exquisite teeth like pearls, hard and smooth. Then he placed his hands on each side of Willie's head and kissed him very gently, tongue to tongue, thoroughly exploring Willie's teeth with his tongue, moving his hands down Willie's back and pressing himself against him, communicating his fullness. Willie moaned, a low echo in the long room, a place and a purpose just for two.
V. Establishing communication
Barnabas felt that Willie was well prepared to begin, with increased sensitivity and desire with which to process a beginning of pain into pleasure. He selected a long handled whip, a quirt with two long, thick and flat tails. He knew that Willie loved this whip, and that it would prepare him for being challenged by others, if Barnabas desired. He allowed Willie to see the whip, and was pleased to see Willie's body clench and release involuntarily as he was thrilled with anticipation. Barnabas held the flat tails of the whip with the handle, and brought it to Willie's lips, who kissed it lovingly, then also kissed Barnabas' hand when offered.
Barnabas released the tails of the whip, and caressed Willie's body with the handle on both sides of him, his sex, his sensitive belly, then walked around Willie, out of sight, knowing this made Willie close his eyes in breathless anticipation. Barnabas pulled the whip through the air past Willie, just catching the whip hard on the hollow arm of the nearby settee, a loud crack sound of the tails coming together that echoed in the large room. Both of them stopped, their bodies and minds stilled, like the mind centering and stilling effect of a bell in worship or meditation. Barnabas did it again, and the arousal of them both was greatly heightened by this certain sound echoing in the long room.
VI. Contact: building sensation/endorphins
Willie was holding strong to the cuff restraints above his head, partially holding his body up as his legs became loose with pleasure, as the sound reverberated through his body, and followed the fine, sliding surrender of his mind into a pool of ecstasy in the very depths of him. He was in the place where his consciousness was at perfect rest. Barnabas walked around Willie slowly, admiring him, wanting him, walking again around to face his back, Willie still facing the alcove, which Barnabas kept dark, like a sort of blindfold, playing with Willie's focus and his senses. He stood in the room where Willie's entire back was fully illuminated by the candles, framed against the dark of the alcove, and tested the whip at Willie's shoulders, landing just the tips gently, again and again, then casually covering Willie's back with stronger contacts with only the tail ends, bringing a redness up on his skin. He first focused on the sweet spot on his buttocks, where the intense stimulation was easily translated to pleasure, and endorphins were flowing freely.
Barnabas began to whip Willie so that the entire length of both tails made contact with his back and buttocks, and the backs of his arms and legs. Willie moaned again and again with pleasure. Gently at first, then harder; Willie's head moving with his moments of building pleasure. Harder, the lovely welts rising on Willie's skin, Barnabas baring his teeth, wanting so much to bite, listening to every intake of breath, every moan, watching as Willie arched forward, his back arching towards Barnabas, tightening his skin, controlling the sensation by keeping it at the surface of his skin. Barnabas answered this with several very hard and quick, full contact kisses of the whip, so that Willie stood completely still, processing the deeper pain into pleasure. Barnabas did it again, layering sensation, Willie inhaling sharply, then letting his breath out slowly, over and over.
VII. Challenging and release
Barnabas moved around, looking at Willie's face, checking that he was reading him correctly, then began lightly whipping Willie's belly, his chest, and very gently at first upon his sex, just touching it. Harder. He punished his sex with a slight contact of the tips, and Willie cried out with his full voice. Barnabas punished his sex in this way until Willie was almost crying, then took his head and brought it onto his shoulder, kissing long against the side of his face, reassuring him, rewarding him. Then he moved around and back to whip him hard again on his back, Willie moaning with pleasure, then Barnabas finally focusing on his sweet spot in the middle of his buttocks. Willie cried out with pleasure with each stroke there. Barnabas pushed him, whipping him harder and harder as he built sensation, waiting longer for him to process each stroke, the seconds becoming several, then harder still, then covering the back of his body with welts, continuing until he knew that Willie was reaching the limits of his ability to turn pain into pleasure.
Barnabas stopped. He stood so close to Willie and caressed the welts, the skin hot, raised and taught. Willie gasped and let his head fall forward as he felt a familiar ecstasy begin, growing to fill his whole body with the sensations of energy flowing as an orgasm, rippling everywhere over his skin as Barnabas expertly petted his skin in a certain way that brought back the pain and pleasure of the whip, the feeling now moving evenly and passive under his hand. Willie gasped again, then again as the rippling fire of intense pleasure ran through and all over his body like the sensation under Barnabas' hand, steadily, with no gaps or interruptions. Willie knew that Barnabas by touching him always shared this form of orgasm, an astonishing full body of fiery release that rippled over his entire body on his skin.
Barnabas moved his face very close to Willie's and breathed a full "hush" of his breath into Willie's mouth, causing Willie's consciousness to ripple on his inner state like Barnabas' breath on the air. Barnabas, judging his state, stepped back from him expectantly, watching him struggle to stand with so much pleasure, struggling to hold himself up by his hands, then arching as he reached the pinnacle of his pleasure.
VIII. Safe return
Willie ejaculated then, completing the physical part his release. Because his penis sat rigid against his stomach when engorged, his semen shot up onto his stomach and chest. Barnabas brought his index finger up to Willie's mouth, across his teeth, so that Willie opened his mouth and bit on Barnabas' finger gently, a form of erotic oral play with teeth that Barnabas enjoyed when he could not bite, and which Willie also used to steady his head.
Barnabas brought his other index finger to his own mouth, across his own teeth, biting gently to keep himself under control. I have just begun, my love, he thought to himself.
I will not bite you, not yet.
CHAPTER THREE: I know
Barnabas felt an operatic level of complex pleasure, the opening aria having opened them both, the libretto written in him by his nature, a beast restrained, the story imagined again in him as though it was not as old as all stories, as old as predators and prey, life and death. He had mastered the ability to rise upon the vast crescendo of Willie's pleasure, not only for his own pleasure, not only for Willie's pleasure, but because it helped Willie to endure more for him, longer. It gave him the most pleasure to shape Willie's pleasure in this way, to use it to serve his own needs. And so, he had carefully prepared Willie, giving him everything while taking nothing.