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Chapter 9 – Lady Sif

Darcy awoke to the feeling of a strong arm winding around her waist pulling her back into a warm body that eagerly molded itself to her own. It was the feeling of a set of breasts pressing into her back that gave away whose bed she had teleported to.

Darcy curled in on herself more, creating space for her bed companion to further spoon her. As she allowed herself to snuggle into the body behind her, Darcy whispered, “Hey Sif.”

“Greetings Darcy.” Lady Sif whispered back. Darcy content, that she was safe, fell back asleep.

The dream that brought her to Lady Sif’s bedroom replayed in her mind. She watched as Sif, looking like a total boss, fought some red haired chick with a sword. The two seemed evenly matched, but their battle field looked like something from Earth, in that it was a grey, drab, metal room. And nothing like the beautiful architecture she’d so plentiful on Asgard.

Her dream changed then and she re-watched Lady Sif try to take down Loki’s killer Robot thing back in New Mexico. She saw flashes of her time with the lady warrior here on Asgard. Drinking, attempts to teach her to fight, eating, shopping, swimming in the lake. Her memories all blurred together until they dissolved into sillyness. She dreamt of riding Fenris the Wolf, (who in her mind looked a lot like Clifford the Big Red Dog), through the streets of New York City, Jane and Lady Sif riding with her.

When she awoke later on, it was due to Lady Sif exiting the bed. Darcy lay awake in the bed but unmoving as she listened to the other woman use the bathroom and get ready for the day. She tried to fall back asleep and just as it was about to happen, an unknown item of clothing hit her in the face; alerting her to the fact that Lady Sif knew she was awake.

“Rise, Lady Darcy.” Sif ordered. Darcy groaned and turned over onto her stomach, smothering her face into the soft feather down pillows.

The warm blanket was maliciously snatched off her body. Darcy curled into a ball and tried to spread her short robe out over her legs, her body instantly came alive as the cold air bitch slapped her.

“Noooo.” Darcy whined. The headscarf she had wrapped over her eyes as a make shift eye mask, was snatched off her face. Darcy slapped her hands to her eyes in an effort to block out the morning light that had filled the room.

“Rise.” Sif repeated more sternly, “Tis time to greet the day.”

“Tis time to tell the day to fudge off.” Darcy grumbled as she grabbed a pillow and tried to hide her head underneath it.

Sif grabbed the pillow and threw it off the bed out of her reach. Darcy growled and finally opened her eyes to glare at the gorgeous woman warrior. Sif smirked down at her, “The sun has risen. Time to make use of it.”

“I hate you.” Darcy mumbled under her breath. She uncurled her body from its ball like shape and stretched out her limbs.

“I shall fetch us breakfast. If you are not dressed and ready for the day ahead by the time I return, I shall drag you from this bed and throw you into the nearest body of water.” Sif threatened with a bright smile, and then she turned and headed for the door.

“I’m not your manservant Sif! I don’t haveta do nothing!” Darcy pouted grumpily from the bed. She crossed her arms over her chest and glared as Lady Sif gave her a cheery wave goodbye before she left the room.

Darcy stubbornly stayed on the bed until she heard the door close behind Sif. At which point she bounded out of the bed like it was on fire. She ran for the bathroom, because she wasn’t stupid and she knew Sif wasn’t bluffing about throwing her in the lake.


As she got dressed in Sif’s borrowed clothing, she admired herself in the mirror. Even without makeup, with wet hair, and a scowl on her face…her outfit made her look and feel beautiful. Darcy pet the pretty fabric gently. Darcy put her hair in a slick pony tail, then wrapped all her hair around in it in a big bun. The wet nature of her hair made the simple hairstyle appear classy; when it dried she imagined it would look messier, but for now it looked perfect.

Darcy couldn’t help but give a little spin in front of the mirror, admiring the 360 degree vision of her ensemble. Something was weird…As she stared at her reflection, the more apparent it became that these were not Lady Sif’s clothing. They fit Darcy too well. Her outfit must have been made to fit Darcy’s short and curvy frame. Darcy smiled as she realized that Sif must have bought the outfit in anticipation of her next unexpected arrival. She vowed to bake the lady warrior something gooey and delicious, in thanks. Or at the very least a half way decent looking friendship bracelet.

“Lady Darcy!” Sif shouted from the other room.

“Speak of the devil.” Darcy murmured to her reflection.

“Darcy!” Sif yelled as she slammed the door open, “You must come to the palace at once.”

Sif looked shook and she wasn’t carrying any breakfast. Darcy could tell that whatever had Sif spooked, it was something serious.

“What’s wrong?” Darcy asked.

“It’s Loki.” Sif announced with wide eyes, “He’s alive!”


Darcy clung to Sif’s waist tightly as the skilled warrior rode quickly towards the palace. Once they arrived Sif handed the reins off to palace guard, the guard looked like he was about to object at being given ‘put the horse away’ duty, but one warning glare from Sif shut him up. The guard hurried off to do Sif’s bidding, all without her having to say a word. It was very impressive.

Darcy wanted to ask a thousand questions, but she could tell Lady Sif wasn’t in the mood to answer any. She had to run to keep up with the tall warrior’s quick stride. There was a large crowd outside the throne room, Sif, gently shoved people out of their way as they made haste to the door. It looked and sounded like the entire place was gossiping about the news of Loki’s not-dead status.

When Sif tried to enter the throne room, the guards at the door moved their fancy spears together in the shape of an ‘x’ to block her entry.

“Let me through.” Sif demanded.

“The all father is with Queen Frigga and Thor. You may not enter.” The taller of the two guards informed them.

Sif gave the guard who spoke a dirty look, “I was not making a request.”

“Woman, you are not in the position to give orders.” The other guard sneered.

“Woman?” Lady Sif repeated the word like it was the most offensive curse word she’d ever heard.

“Hey, hi!” Darcy chirped, she stepped around Sif to stand between her and the guard she was glaring at.
She gave the guards a wide smile and a wave.

“Maybe you can just poke your head inside and ask Thor if we can come in?” Darcy suggested to the tall guard. The man looked back at her blankly from underneath his shiny helmet, apparently not even designating her question worthy of an answer.

“Lady Darcy, I know you are trying to help but I will handle this.” Sif said through clenched teeth, she grabbed the back of Darcy’s top and pulled her back, putting Darcy slightly behind her. Darcy could practically see Sif’s muscle’s tightening as she got ready to spring into action.

Before Sif could open her mouth to argue with the guard further, Darcy tapped her on the shoulder and asked her, “With fighting?”

Sif turned to her with a confused expression, “What?”

Darcy clarified, “Are you going to handle this with fighting? And wiping the floor with these guards’ asses?”

Sif’s mouth twitched as she suppressed her smile, “If it comes to that.”

“Listen here woman--” The guard began, Darcy could tell things were about to get all fight-y fight-y. Apparently they were dealing with the dumbest, least well-informed guard in all of Asgard, because he was certainly acting like he didn’t know what a badass Lady Sif was….Or maybe the dude had a death wish. Either way, she had to intervene. So, she quickly came up with a plan. And starting yelling.


Darcy heard the people behind her, the fancy royal court people, go all a twitter at her outburst. Probably gossiping about her rude manners or whatever, but Darcy didn’t care about being the unofficial representative of Midgard at that moment.

Sif turned on her and glowered, “Lady Darcy--”

Darcy cut her off, exclaiming, “Look!”

She pointed at the throne room’s doors. They weren’t opening, she was just hoping to stall for time by making Sif look. Sif turned back to her and glared, “Lady Darcy that is not how things are done--”

Darcy pointed at the doors again, “Look!”

“Lady Darcy--” Sif began to lecture, not falling for her trick again.

“I’m serious! Look!” Darcy said in a pleading tone pointing at the doors.

“Lady Darcy--” Sif said, exasperation coloring her voice.

Thor’s deep voice cut her off, “Lady Sif. Darcy.”

Darcy watched a grim faced Thor speak to the guards in a hushed tone. They stepped aside, and soon Thor was ushering the two women through.

Darcy elbowed Sif whispering, “It worked! I’m a loud and obnoxious genius!”

Darcy fell behind Thor and Sif slightly as she took in the giant empty room, it was an impressive space and she craned her head back to take in all the golden details. Asgardian architects certainly loved their high ceilings.

She’d only been in the throne room once before after she first arrived in Asgard. Odin had summoned her and questioned her, kind of implying she was a spy, whilst also implying she was too stupid to be one. It was like a really weird, intimidating, scary interrogation. Frigga and Thor had stood by her side though, vouching for her and taking responsibility for her while she was stranded in Asgard. Odin was basically strong armed by his family into grudgingly granting her, what she loosely understood to be the equivalent of a tourist’s visa. The King had ignored her ever since, except to complain how Queen Frigga was wasting her time trying to teach her magic.

With her eyes glued to the ceiling and the pretty painting that was above them, Darcy accidentally ran into Thor’s broad back.

“Ouch.” Darcy yelped, she rubbed at her nose where she had banged it.

“Darcy.” Thor chastised. Darcy mouthed ‘sorry’ at him and Thor smiled quickly but then forced himself to adopt a more stern expression.

Darcy smiled cheekily and pointed up, marveling, “Dude, you’re on the ceiling.”

Thor glanced up and smiled despite himself, “A handsome likeness, do you not agree?”

“Totes.” Darcy replied. Thor grinned at her genuinely; she had found that Thor enjoyed seeing her geek out. Flattery really did get you everywhere, with him at least.

“Why do you both insist on involving the mortal?” Odin sighed at his wife, who stood by his side. Darcy’s attention went to the ornery one eyed king who stood on the lowest tier in front of his golden throne. It was clear that Odin did not like her. He didn’t hate her, but he did not like her. Despite Odin’s distain, Darcy waved a quick hello to Frigga. The woman nodded to her in acknowledgment before turning to face her husband.

“Lady Darcy is from Midgard. She has more stakes in this than all of us.” Frigga said in a chastising tone. Odin rolled his one eye.

“Fine.” The king agreed grumpily, he then fixed her with a pointed glare and said, “She can stay. But she must’t speak.”

Darcy smiled at Odin and mimed zipping her mouth, locking it and throwing the key over her shoulder.

“What was that?” Thor asked from beside her.

Darcy looked at him in confusion, “I was miming promising not to talk.”

The king let out disgruntled noise, “Ugh.”

“Oh.” Thor said with a shrug.

“I understood what you meant.” Sif added quietly from her left. Darcy turned on the lady warrior and smiled at the woman brightly.

Just then the Warriors Three burst into the throne room. Fandral slipped under the arm of a guard who was trying to grab him. Volstagg staggered in, a guard hanging on to each leg, both arms and onto his back, trying to stop the large man from lumbering forward unsuccessfully. Hogun brought up the rear, walking unimpeded, his trusty mace over one shoulder and a scowl on his face.

“We heard Loki was back!” Fandral shouted as he continued to dip and dive and elude the guard who was trying to catch him.

“We came as soon as we could.” Volstagg said. He then body slammed the guard that was clinging to his back into the ground with a grunt.

“I told them we should wait until we were summoned, but they wouldn’t listen.” Hogun said his words aimed at Thor, “You know how they are.”

“Guards, it’s alright. Let them in.” Thor said, unable to hide the smile on his face.

“Why not invite the whole court inside?” The King said snidely to his wife. Darcy couldn’t help but chuckle at the King’s show of sass.

“Hush.” Frigga said to her husband, “Thor’s friends are proven warriors…besides you know he’ll run and tell them everything after the fact anyway.”

“They irritate me.” Odin groused. Frigga smiled at him, leaning forward she kissed him on the cheek.

“The ground under your feet irritates you.” Queen Frigga teased. Odin smiled back at Frigga with fondness, before his eyes cut to her. Darcy’s eyes widened as the King caught her staring at the small exchange between him and Frigga. She averted her gaze to the floor.

When the doors closed behind the guards, Darcy ventured a glance up. Odin was now sitting on his throne. Frigga was standing next to him on the little dais at the top. Thor put a hand on the small of her back and led her up the first tier of stairs. Sif walked with them on the other side of Thor. The Warrior’s Three hurried to stand beside them.

Fandral pushed his way between her and Volstagg, jostling the larger man over so he could stand next to her. Darcy suppressed a smile, forcing herself to scowl, as Fandral brushed the back of his hand against hers.

“Father, was just telling me how Loki is alive.” Thor said in the general direction of his friends. Odin tilted his head and stared at Thor.

“Hooray?” Darcy ventured, she assumed that everyone would be a little happier to know that the lost prince was in fact alive, even in spite of the things he did prior to his ‘death’. Frigga smiled at her warmly.

“Yes, finally having confirmation that my youngest son lives, is a great comfort and cause for celebration.” Frigga said with a regal nod in her direction.

“I’m happy for you Frigga.” Darcy said, but seeing the bulging eye of Odin, she quickly corrected herself, “Queen! I mean, Queen Frigga. Queen of Asgard and the nine realms, whom I definitely do not know well enough to address so…colloquially.”

Frigga put her hand delicately to her mouth, letting out a cough/hiding her laughter. Odin shot a pointed look at Frigga. The Queen straightened up then, and the light mood suddenly turned solemn. She addressed them all in a clear loud voice, “Ever since Loki fell from the Bifrost, I’ve been searching for him using magic.”

“My Queen, a fall from the Bifrost is a fall into eternity. Are you sure it is Loki you have found?” Volstagg asked, his eyes shining with compassion for the Queen’s loss.

“I would have felt it should he have died, though we did mourn his passing, I knew it was a farce. He did not die. He was found and saved by someone very powerful.” Frigga informed them.

“Who?” Thor asked.

“This is still unknown to me.” Frigga said sounding troubled.

King Odin thumped his staff onto the ground, refocusing everyone’s attention on him. “It doesn’t matter who found him. Loki lives.”

“You are right father.” Thor agreed, “Loki’s return to Asgard is all that matters now.”

“His return to Asgard for judgment.” Odin said sternly. There was an awkward silence following Odin’s subtle reminder that Loki’s supposed death did not erase the crimes he had committed.

“I had a vision.” Frigga said, breaking the silence, “I found Loki and we spoke. The conversation was short but informative. He is planning something involving the Tesseract.”

“What’s the Tesseract?” Darcy asked but was ignored as everyone else lost their shit.

“The Tesseract!”
“He is not that mad is he?”
“How could he?”

“SILENCE.” Odin shouted, the twin ravens that sat on either sides of his throne ruffled their feathers and spread their wings cawing, before settling back down.

“The destruction of the Bifrost continues to shift the balance of power across the nine realms…and into the worlds beyond Yggdrasil.” Odin said coldly.

In a softer voice he continued, “We are cut off from the other realms without the bridge. Jotunheim is still damaged. Nidavellir fears the dwarven forges will be overtaken without our protection. The Badoon and Marauders mobilize as we speak to attack others, including Vanaheim.”

Odin stared at Thor as he spoke, “By Saving Jotunheim, we weakened the other realms.”

“You mean I weakened them.” Thor said somberly, “I was the one who broke the Bifrost. I saved Jotunheim. I am responsible.”

Darcy grabbed his wrist and gave it a little squeeze, offering Thor what little comfort she could. She hadn’t realized that Thor had such heavy burdens on his shoulders. He was always so enthusiastic to hang out with her and show her around Asgard, he never told her he was too busy, he rarely pawned her off on someone else. In fact, she didn’t realize that he actually had a job. That being a prince meant he had duties and responsibilities beyond baby kissing and winning wars. It suddenly struck her that ruling the whole of Asgard, was his future.

“Heimdall has finally seen Loki as well. He is on Midgard.” Odin announced. Darcy whipped her head from Thor back to Odin so quickly that an audible cracking noise could be heard.

“Earth?” Darcy asked, “What does Loki want with Earth?”

“It makes sense. We left the Tesseract on Midgard.” Thor said with a nod.

“Then that is what he is after.” Sif concluded.

“What’s the Tesseract?” Darcy asked.

“We must stop him from whatever villainy he has planned.” Fandral declared.

“Is the Tesseract like a bomb?” Darcy asked her voice rising with her frustration.

Volstagg stomped his foot on the floor in agreement, calling out, “Aye! Loki shall not harm another soul if we have anything to say about it.”

“WHAT’S THE TESSERACT!?” Darcy shouted, finally fed up with being ignored. Odin opened his mouth, Darcy guessed to yell at her, but Frigga put her hand on his shoulder and stopped him.

“Child,” Frigga said, looking at her with sad eyes. The Queen descended the few steps from the throne to the lower platform, where she and others stood. Fandral stepped back and let Frigga take his place so she could put her arm around Darcy’s shoulders.

“Child, the Tesseract is a crystalline cube. It predates the universe and possesses unlimited energy.” Frigga explained kindly.

Darcy blinked her eyes rapidly as tears formed, thoughts of her friends and family, flashed in her mind. She didn’t understand. In a desperate voice she asked, “But what does that mean? Unlimited energy to do what?”

“It could repair the Bifrost.” Thor said with dawning realization.

Frigga nodded, “The Tesseract has the ability to open gateways between realms. In the wrong hands…”

“It could prove quite destructive.” Odin said, finishing his wife’s sentence. Queen Frigga nodded, her arm slipping from around Darcy’s shoulders. Frigga turned and walked back up the stairs slowly. No one said a word as the Queen returned to her post beside the king.

Darcy felt an anxious panic start to form in her chest. If someone wanted to destroy Earth with a realm opening gateway device, they could open a wormhole in the middle of the planet and like…connect it to a black hole. Or they could open a portal above the polar ice caps that connected to the sun and cause like…tsunami’s and stuff. There was so many ways this Tesseract thingy could be used to destroy the world. She could literally think of fifteen ways, just off the top of her head.

Darcy bit down on her lip until she tasted blood. She couldn’t help but think of Tony. He was Iron Man, a superhero, and he was a squishy mortal and he would be the first one to rise up and try to stop Loki from doing whatever nefarious evil thing he was planning on doing.

Her mind flashed and memories of laughing with Steve, going to museums, getting coffee, educating him about essential pop culture things flooded her mind. Her experiences with Steve were so normal that it almost made her forget that he too was a superhero. The first superhero in fact. Steve was Captain America, and Captain America was absolutely stupid enough to think he could go toe to toe with a god.

“There all gonna die.” Darcy worried, as a tear finally broke free and rolled down her cheek. Her brief run in with the Hulk’s alter ego was the only thing that gave her hope. She knew Bruce wouldn’t volunteer to save the planet, but if the Earth was really in danger they had to recruit him right?

“No.” Thor said with severity she hadn’t ever heard from him, “Midgard is under out protection. We will not let harm come to your world Darcy.”

Darcy stared into Thor’s unwavering gaze and she wanted to believe him so bad. She knew why he was so invested in saving the Earth. He was a really good person and a hero and all that jazz, but…also, mostly Jane.

“We’re trapped on Asgard.” Darcy said quietly, not liking the effect her words had on Thor’s determined expression, “We’re trapped and there’s no way for Asgard to help Earth. So, like, let’s not bullshit each other Thor.”

The pessimistic part of her didn’t believe Thor stood a chance against a crazy god who had his hands on the equivalent of a dooms day device. Especially not when the crazy god was his brother, whom he still loved. Darcy knew Thor well enough now to know that he loved Loki. He missed him. And no matter what Loki had done to him, done while he was controlling a crazy death robot on Earth, Thor would forgive him. Because that’s what family did. They forgive you when you went crazy and they loved you, no matter what. Darcy wiped away a tear angrily and whispered, “The Earth is doomed.”

“Asgard is not as impotent as you might think young lady.” King Odin said, once again drawing her attention back to him. Darcy stared at the king with watery eyes. For the first time, there was a twinkle in his eyes as he looked at her.

“I can send you back to Midgard.” Odin announced.

“You can?” Darcy asked. Odin looked at her confusedly, but then he rolled his eye at her.

“Not you! Thor! I can send Thor back to Midgard.” The King explained with a put upon expression, “Why would I waste my energy on sending you back? You have the ability to travel between the realms at will.”

Darcy opened her mouth to argue with King, but Thor put a gentle hand on her back and she thought better of it and just closed her mouth.

“How?” Hogun asked, speaking for the first time since his entrance.

“Dark energy.” Queen Frigga supplied.

“Father, no!” Thor said softly. He took a step towards his dad.

“It is the only way.” Odin said his face grave.

“It will be painful.” Queen Frigga informed them.

“I’ll survive.” Thor declared.

“For both of you.” Frigga said, casting a worrying glance at the King, but Odin’s face was an unflappable mask.

“Father…” Thor said in a small voice. Darcy took a step forward and put her hand on the small of Thor’s back. Even though she thought Odin was a bit of dick, she knew Thor loved him and would be upset if anything were to happen to the old Cyclops.

“Unlike the Bifrost, traveling via dark energy is demanding on the body. You will experience pain the likes of which you have never imagined.” Odin warned, “And I will only have enough energy to get you there. I will not be able to bring you back.”

“How will he return if you cannot bring him back?” Fandral asked.

“The Tesseract.” Darcy whispered. Odin nodded at her.

“You will have to find the Tesseract and harness its power to bring Loki and yourself home.” Odin said to Thor.

“I will not fail you father.” Thor promised, turning he looked down at her, “I will not fail Midgard.”

“Good.” Odin said with another tap of his staff to the ground, “You leave in an hour.”




Darcy’s sleep outfit

Darcy’s Outfit From Lady Sif

The Throne Room