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Hidden Hearts

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How is it possible to be known by everyone but not really seen?

Stepping down the stage after delivering yet another brilliant and inspiring speech that got people on their feet, clapping, clamoring, admiring; Lena was struck by another hit of hollowness, unwelcomed yet familiar. She wanted nothing more than to just get away from everything, wanted everything to end because nothing meant anything anymore.

She maintained her tight-lipped smile, graceful, ethereal. Just about everything that her last name had taught her to be. She shook hands with people who were daring enough to come up to her, feigning interest in whatever it was they had to say. Polite nods and consideration lacing every step she made towards her date who was waiting for her with two champagne flutes in hand.

She slightly tilted her head, smirking subtly as she caught the way her date was looking at her. Lust was shining brightly in those brown eyes and Lena didn’t mind whatsoever. After all, lust had always been her saving grace, it was easy, it was simple, and it was everything she could handle right now. She took the flute from those nimble fingers, purposely grazing her fingers against the back of the girl’s hand, watching the girl bite her bottom lip in response.

“Great speech, babe…”

“You think so?” Lena inquired before taking a gulp of her drink. “It seems to have done the job to inspire people, no?” She asked rhetorically, casting her gaze around the space.

“Well…” The girl started, taking a step closer, breaking into Lena’s personal space. “It sure did inspire me on some things.” She whispered close to Lena’s ear, reaching her arm around Lena’s hip, pulling her tight against her body.

“Easy there…” Lena warned playfully, her emerald eyes darkened by the thoughts of doing their regulated, satisfying dance behind closed doors. “I still have some guests to entertain.”

“Entertain is exactly the plan I have for you, Lena.” The girl affirmed confidently, by now knowing all the right things to say to get Lena going.

Lena was about to say something to counter the subtle proposal when she heard someone calling her name. She huffed internally, stepping away to put a decent distance between her and her date. She turned to face the owner of the voice, uncrossing her arms and she braced herself for the hollowness that would surely ensue. She glanced down at the proffered hand, quickly enveloping it in hers.

“Mrs. Williams, I’m glad you could make it. How’s Chelsea?” Lena smiled tightly, gripping the old lady’s hand firmly.

“Oh, how many times I’ve told you to call me Angela? And Chelsea’s already settled in Columbia. We really appreciate that letter of recommendation you wrote for her.” The woman expressed with sincerity glazing her eyes.

“Ah right, I’m sorry, Angela.” Lena corrected effortlessly. “And it was not a problem. Chelsea is really talented. She showed a lot of potential and hard work when she interned for me this past summer. I’m sure she has a bright future ahead of her.” Lena affirmed, maintaining the small smile on her face.

“I can only hope she would end up like you one day.” Angela patted Lena’s cheek in a way that could only be described as motherly. It took everything in Lena not to flinch.

“You flatter me too much, Angela, I-”

“And who’s this lovely girl?” Angela promptly asked, averting her gaze to the red-haired girl.

“I’m Sophie.” The girl answered, reaching her hand out with so much confidence. “It’s really nice to meet you.”

“Oh, you are so beautiful, my dear.” The woman praised as she cradled Sophie’s cheek lovingly. “You should keep this one, Lena.”

“Angela…”

“Lena, you really should consider settling down and get married. You need someone to be by your side and take care of you.”

“And I will when I’m ready.” Lena countered nonchalantly, taking a gulp of her champagne. She really needed this whole event to be over.

“Ah, you’ll never know when you’re ready until you actually do it.” Angela waved her hand dismissively. “You just need to take the plunge sometimes, especially if you love each other. Don’t you agree, Sophie?”

“Well…” Sophie peered to her left, measuring Lena’s subtle reaction. “We’re still getting to know each other but of course one day we’d love to get married, right, babe?”

Lena locked her eyes with a pool of chocolate, smiling lopsidedly. “Of course….” She inched forward, kissing Sophie on the cheek, silently commending the girl for her quick response. 

“And don’t you forget to send me an invitation when you do, dear.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it, Angela.” Lena confirmed, wondering when she could finally drop the fake smile that was starting to hurt her cheeks.

Angela glanced towards something behind the young couple, recognition flashing her face. “Ah, as much as I like to keep chatting with you two lovebirds, I need to settle some unfinished business with a friend from my rotary club.”

“Of course…” Lena swiftly concurred, stepping forward, taking Angela’s hand in hers as she moved to bump her cheek against the woman’s. “Tell Phil I said hi and I hope that once Chelsea finish her study, she would consider joining my company.”

“That’s the dream, my dear.” Angela retorted and soon turned her attention to Sophie, prompting the girl to bid her goodbye in the same manner Lena had done. And while their cheeks were still brushing against each other, the 50 something woman stage whispered, making it clear that Lena would hear her. “And don’t let go of this one, make her put a ring on it, okay?”

Sophie chuckled along, tilting her head back slightly as she watched Angela wink playfully at Lena who merely nodded her response, a smirk painting her lips. The red haired soon ended up back in Lena’s embrace while the green eyed girl lifted her glass towards Angela as a form of salutation, “I’ll see you again soon.”

Angela gave them a final smile before she flipped around, sauntering over to the other side of the room. The pair continued to gaze upon the retreating back of Angela until they were sure the coast was clear. Once they were, Lena let out a long exasperated sigh. “That went well…”

“Was it good enough?” Sophie asked under her breath, eyes flitting up to lock with a pool of emerald.

Lena smirked smugly though she knew it don’t even reach her eyes, let alone her heart. “They’re clueless, like they always have been. It was brilliant…”

“Well then, who else should we fool now?” Sophie asked mischievously, linking one arm behind Lena’s waist while her right palm rested against Lena’s right upper chest. She looked around the room, studying all the faces, remembering the list Lena had gotten her earlier.

“I thought you were eager to get out of here already?” Lena asked, arching her perfect left eyebrow.

“That’s true but this is also fun and we can slip out whenever we want to, right?”

Lena hummed, tilting her head, clearly appreciating the girl with her intense gaze. “In that case, we just need to talk to one of the contractors, Lewis, are you up for that?”

“Mr. Lewis…” Sophie trailed off as she scanned the room. “It’s that 6 foot tall, white haired man with the Armani suit right? He’s the one who helped you with your Georgia project last year and now you’re planning on recruiting his service again for one of your reconstruction projects of the research building in National City?”

“That’s impressive.” Lena praised, arching her eyebrows.

“Well, you’re a great teacher. What else do you expect?”

“Definitely nothing less than my money’s worth.” Lena hummed in satisfaction as she retracted her arm from around Sophie’s hip, offering it for the girl to take in faux courtesy. “Shall we, mi lady?”

Sophie smiled seductively, taking Lena’s hand in hers. “Show me the way.”

-----

“Oh…yes… Lena… Yes, right, ugh there…”

It took everything in Lena not to chuckle in pride; she knew she was good in bed. But this girl under her was chanting her name as if she was some god who could save the girl’s soul from desperation. Sexual desperation that was, and Lena loved the feeling. She kept on licking and flicking that bundle of nerves while her fingers fluently pumping into Sophie’s warm and soaking core.

She curled her fingers, hitting just the spot that she knew would drive the girl mad. Sophie screamed, literally screamed, as Lena felt her head was pushed even closer by those fingers tangling in her hair. Her thrusts got harder and faster, her lips captured Sophie’s clit so fervently, sucking and nibbling furiously. She could feel those walls convulsing around her fingers and soon enough, those walls tightened, trapping her slender fingers in a pool of pure bliss and heat.

Those long moans and breathy gasps were like a symphony to her ears. Her eyes fluttered open, looking up to see raw ecstasy painting Sophie’s face. She continued on her ministrations, bringing the girl down from her orgasm. After Sophie’s breath slightly evened out, Lena propped herself on her left elbow, her lips trailing upward, leaving open mouthed kisses on their course.

Lena eventually pulled her fingers out, earning a soft gasp from the girl. She licked on her fingers, moaning at the taste. “You taste amazing.” She didn’t give any room for a response as she quickly dived in, kissing the girl’s lips avidly. Her hand moved to stroke the girl’s cheek tenderly as she nibbled on Sophie’s bottom lip. She pulled away after a moment, when she could sense how her lover was dying for air. She waited for those brown eyes to open and when they finally did, she put on her tender smile.

“Wow… You just… Wow.” Sophie breathed out, unable to form a proper sentence, still trying to gain her composure. And the way Lena was looking at her didn’t help with the matter. Lena smirked, shaking her head slightly. She reached out and took the girl’s hand in hers, interlacing their fingers.

“You’re like…the best I’ve ever had.” Sophie professed intently, her body still tingling with so many sensations; satisfaction and exhaustion yet also hunger, she wanted more of Lena.

“I believe you’ve mentioned that once or twice.” Lena quipped lightly, peering up to catch Sophie’s eyes while her lips keep on caressing her lover’s arm.

“A bit too cocky, aren’t you?” The red-haired girl scoffed playfully, enjoying the sweeter side of Lena, who was nothing but eager and fierce just minutes ago.

“I am when I’m entitled to.” Lena pointed out confidently, moving to kiss the girl’s jaw line.

“Are you sure we can’t spend the night together?” The girl asked tentatively, knowing all too well what the answer was going to be.

Lena locked her eyes with a pair of bright brown orbs. “You know I can’t…”

“You can’t blame me for asking. I still can’t believe you’re leaving so soon.”

Lena leaned closer, locking their lips in a gentle kiss. “But for now, I’m still here. What do you wanna do?”

“Round four?” The girl suggested with arched eyebrows, licking her lips instinctively.

“It’d be my pleasure, darling…”

-----

Lena had been so lost in her thoughts that she failed to realize that the vehicle had come to a stop. A familiar voice of her chauffeur and a tug on her jacket’s sleeve broke her off of her reverie.

“We’re here, Miss…”

“Oh, right…” Lena sighed as she gazed outside the dark tinted window, a sight of a familiar townhouse greeting her. “Well, it’s been a pleasure, Sophie.”

“The pleasure’s all mine. Believe me.” The girl smiled the kind of smile that was full of secrets and intrigues. “I’m just a bit disappointed that the night has to end so soon.”

Lena leered, reaching into her jacket’s inside pocket. “I would love for more but I’m afraid that wouldn’t be wise seeing I have a very early flight tomorrow.”

Sophie clicked her tongue, feigning a pout. “That’s a shame.” She scooted closer, inching her face forward close to Lena’s ear. “I still can feel how wet I am.”

“You sure don’t quit, do you?” Lena teased, eyes gleaming with fleeting lust. “Maybe next time.” She concluded as she offered an envelope full of cash to the red haired girl. “Here. I’ve put in a bit more and I already informed Roulette about it.”

“You do know that that part isn’t charged, right? It’s truly my pleasure.” The girl said with a tantalizing lilt in her voice and a seducing bite on her bottom lip.

Lena smirked, eyes sharp, eyebrow arched to perfection. “Well, no one can blame me for wanting to spoil my girl.” She tipped her head down just slightly, eyes piercing and clear. “Send my warm regards to Roulette.”

“Sure thing, Ms. Luthor. You really are our best customer.” Sophie winked, trailing her fingertips in the inside of Lena’s palm. “I’ll see you soon?” She asked full of hope.

“I wouldn’t bet on it, considering the fact that I’m moving to National City.” Lena shrugged nonchalantly, narrowing her eyes at the girl. Her façade cool and collected, an air of mystery seemed to permeate her presence. She cradled the girl’s chin, running her thumb across plump bottom lip.

“Ah right, I’ll surely miss you.” Sophie braced herself as she lunged forward once more, leaving a lingering kiss on the corner of Lena’s mouth. “Good night, love.”

Lena stayed still, unaffected. She internally mocked on how easy it was for people to just throw around the word ‘love’ as if it didn’t bear any weight. “Good night, Soph. Thank you for your excellent service.” She tilted her head slightly, watching as the girl got off of her car. She exhaled heavily, leaning her body against the backseat.

“Straight to the apartment, Miss?” Julius asked, already too familiar with the routine.

Lena thought about it for a second, the image of an empty apartment that had never felt like home seeping in. A hotel room wouldn’t be any different. “No, just set me up a room at the airport hotel and get me my suitcase from the apartment.”

“Alright, Miss…”

Once the car was in motion, Lena closed her eyes, reveling in the silence surrounding her. But the voices in her head were still ringing through, loud and clear. She was tired, she was drained. She had had enough of this life, the life she couldn’t evade. The life shadowed by the significance of her last name.

She was hoping that the move to National City would bring some kind of good. But she knew that it would be futile because after all, how could one evade themselves?

-----

National City was…bright.

Lena had expected the West Coast city to be different from Metropolis but she didn’t expect it to be this bright. And so colorful. People here liked to have many colors on them, Lena was starting to get headaches. She put her sunglasses over her eyes, stepping out of her town car. She glanced up, appraising the building before her and then she turned her head just slightly towards her chauffeur.

“Are you sure this is the place?”

“Yes, Ms. Luthor. I’ve checked with Jess.”

“Hmm…” Lena hummed, pushing her hands deep into her coat pockets. “We’re certainly not in Metropolis anymore.”

“I can just go inside and get whatever it is you want, Ms. Luthor.”

“No, it’s okay, Lucius. Thank you. I think I’d need to brace this whole new world myself. After all, it’s just coffee, right?” Lena offered a small smile to the man.

Lucius nodded, slightly tipping his hat. “It’s just coffee, Miss…”

Lena recognized and appreciated the encouragement in his tone and the support she found in his gaze. Her chauffeur almost felt like a security blanket she didn’t need but glad to have around just in case. He was familiar, he was constant and Lena certainly needed those in her ever-changing, fast-paced world where she was required to be quick on her feet at all times.

She regarded her chauffeur one last time. “Pull around back in 30 minutes, Lucius.”

“Will do, Miss.”

And with one last deep exhale, she finally stepped into another unknown.

-----

Lena would admit that she had been wrong to judge the place solely on its appearance. Noonan’s was nothing like any coffee shop she had visited in Metropolis and for once, it wasn’t a bad thing. She could definitely get used to the setting. People there seemed to be…well, they seemed to take their time to just be. There was no sense of urgency in their pace and gestures. It almost felt like they actually enjoyed themselves, living their life one step at a time.

It was such an absurd view to bask herself in.

She made her way to the counter, taking off her sunglasses and then continued to order a cup of caffé latte, something simple to determine whether not their coffee quality was worthy enough for her future orders. She thanked the nice barista with a tight lipped smile, putting her change to the tip jar, earning her a very wide smile and eager compliance to make what she expected to be the best caffé latte ever.

She looked around and quickly realized that the place was packed that the only available tables were the outdoor ones and despite her aversion towards such exposure, she supposed she could try to enjoy the day out in the same manner any of the National City citizen would. They prepared her order in record time and she offered another one of her small smile to the barista before she strolled outside the door onto the patio area.

She picked the table she had been eyeing for a bit, the one right by the corner space, away from chatters and straying gazes. She put her cup down as she perched on her seat, unbuttoning her coat. She looked out the distance, at nothing in particular, taking in the sounds of the city, another stark difference from the one she had grown used to in Metropolis. She was about to pull her phone out to send out a message when finally a familiar voice intrude on her thoughts.

“Well, well, who would have thought, Lena Luthor out in the sun.”

Lena glanced up, arching her left eyebrow in intrigue. “And Veronica Sinclair in a pair of jeans.” She stated with a really thin mockery lacing her tone. After all, that had always been the way the two interacted with each other.

Veronica elegantly shrugged, smirking that deadly smirk of hers. “When in Rome…” She then settled down on the seat across from Lena, quickly leaning back and crossing her leg. “Is there a particular reason why I’ve been summoned or are you just longing for a familiar face to welcome you the city?”

“I would admit that your face is quite pleasing to look at.”

“Tell me something I don’t know.” Veronica sneered, eyes sparling with pride. “How are you settling in so far?”

“This city is…” Lena trailed off, casting her gaze away, taking in more of the cityscape. “Full of hope, isn’t it?”

“That’s one way to see it.”

A barista came up to their table, bringing a cup of espresso and setting it down in front of Veronica, who couldn’t be bothered to acknowledge the help. Lena almost rolled her eyes at the display of blatant arrogance, offering a simple nod to the seemingly timid barista who just ducked her head further at the gesture and swiftly made her way back towards the bar.  

Lena averted her gaze back to the woman with piercing stare and sharp cheekbones. “No one recognized me here.”

Veronica snorted, rolling her eyes. “Didn’t expect you to be that vain, Luthor.” She smirked, knowing all too well that Lena had meant it in a different way. “Give it time. The paparazzi would soon follow your trail here and you’d be on the front page of every news outlet in the city.”

Lena smirked, a wistful look in her eyes. “I suppose that’s to be expected. But it’s been nice so far, being able to blend into the crowd.”

Veronica narrowed her eyes, tilting her chin up. “I know you didn’t call me here to share all of your melancholy thoughts. What do you need, Luthor?”

“I need something different this time.”

“You always need something different every month or two.”

Lena subtly shook her head, unclenching her jaw. “I need someone different, someone who’s not…high maintenance.”

Veronica raised her right eyebrow. “You want someone common to ease off the attention.”

“You can put it like that.” Lena affirmed, fixing her deep gaze at her old friend. “Though I doubt you’d have common in your registry.”

Veronica snickered, taking a sip of her bitter espresso. “There has been some talk going around, some girls were truly expecting you.”

Lena shrugged, tilting her head. “Well, sorry to disappoint them, I guess.”

“Tired of the supermodels already?” Veronica probed, settling back into her seat just a bit more, eyeing Lena inquiringly.

“Not necessarily. I just need something more long-term this time, something a bit more constant to be shown to the world. I don’t think I can be patient enough to put up with some of your high profile girls for longer than usual.” Lena disclosed nonchalantly, wringing her hands on her lap.

“How long do you have in mind?”

“9 months to a year.”

“I believe what you’re looking for is a girlfriend, Lena.”

“Exactly.” Lena deadpanned, feigning oblivion to Veronica’s disapproving look.

Veronica sighed, giving Lena an incredulous look. “You can have anyone you want.”

“Considering the fact that I’m paying for it, I suppose that’s fair.” Lena stated calmly, fixating her gaze at Veronica challengingly.

“You know what I mean, Lena. If a girlfriend is what you need then just go out there and meet people. Come to my party tonight, I’ll introduce you to some-“

“You know I don’t have time for such thing, Vee.” Lena maintained her composure, her tone direct and stern. They had gone down this road before and Lena hoped that Veronica would just drop this quickly. “I don’t need or want to be in a relationship.”

“It’s been how long now? 4 years? You need to move on, Lena.”

“That is exactly what I’m doing, no?” Lena countered, refusing to let down her defenses. She looked right at Veronica’s intimidating gaze. “I’ve moved on and this is how. I do not see any flaw in this arrangement. Especially for you. I know you’ve got your fair share of wealthy clients but I know I’m your best client.”

“But you’re also my friend.” Veronica said firmly, her cool façade wearing off just for a second, showing a side that not just about anyone else was privy to. “And I believe you deserve something-”

“Don’t say better.” Lena intercepted, tiredness lacing her voice. She was just so tired of this.

“Real.” Veronica concluded vehemently. “You deserve something real, Lena.”

Lena looked away, scoffing. But there was no malice in her eyes, no bite in her whole demeanor. And to those who took their time to look closer, to understand better, to just see Lena as she really was, they would see it, the longing in her eyes, the sadness and fear exuding out of every pore of her being. And Veronica did.

Lena turned her gaze back at Veronica, her green eyes cold and unwavering. She refused to be affected by this. She refused to be pitied. “This is my reality now.” She said resolutely. “Are you going to manage with my request or not?”

Veronica sighed, relenting, knowing that there was no use in trying. She had tried many times before to no avail. “I’ll see what I can do.”

“Well then…” Lena started, rising from her seat. “It’s been nice catching up.” She moved to button her coat, fixing an expectant look at Veronica. “I’ll be waiting to hear from you.”

“I’ll get back to you by the weekend.”

“I’d appreciate that. Sinclair…” Lena concluded, nodding subtly in lieu of saying goodbye.  

“Luthor…” Veronica returned easily, lifting up her espresso cup.

Lena swiftly made her way back inside the café, poise and regal in her steps, assured and controlled. That was how onlookers would see it, but not Veronica. Because when she looked over her shoulder and watched Lena’s retreating back all she could see was how broken the girl really was.

-----

Lena looked straight ahead, walking elegantly towards the entrance, hands shoved deep inside her coat pockets. Reaching the bar, she felt her phone vibrate within her fingertips. She didn’t bother to check her surrounding as she expected the message to be urgent. After all, she had been out of the office for almost an hour. Surely some disaster was already waiting for her. Her eyes fixated at her screen, focusing on the new draft of some contract Jess had sent her.

She shouldn’t have texted while walking in a public space but her logic was nowhere to be found and before she could even register what was going on, something indescribable collided with her body. The next thing she knew… No, no, what she heard was a mixed blur of dripping sounds and surprise gasp. It all sounded so far away yet it echoed loudly in her head as she peered down to assess the fatality that her $7000 worth of coat had to endure.

“Golly! I’m so so sorry. I wasn’t looking, I-”

Golly?

Well, to be fair, Lena hadn’t been looking either, so it was partly her fault but she wouldn’t admit that so easily. She was momentarily stunned as she observed how drenched and ruined her coat was. She needed to put whoever this person was before her right in…her…place. Those sparkling azure eyes greeted her as she turned her head up, effectively silencing her train of thoughts.

Those eyes that she believed have the ability to capture the entire world if given the opportunity. And Lena was spellbound and she didn’t think she had ever felt like this before. What is this? Lena got frozen in place for a few more seconds until she finally found her sense. Lena shook her head inwardly, fully acknowledging the girl in front of her.

“A- are you okay? I’m truly sorry.” The girl stammered, reaching her hands out as if she could do something to reverse the damage. “I’ll pay for the dry cleaning bill or- or maybe I can buy you a new coat.” The girl rambled on in a slight panic, the lack of response from Lena seemingly fired up her guilt even more.

“No, no. It’s okay, don’t worry about it…” Lena waved her hand nonchalantly, smiling intently at the girl.

“I’m sorry, I was in a hurry and…”

“And I was too focused on my phone.” Lena conceded. “I guess we’re both in the wrong.” She pointed out, shrugging. She couldn’t even be bothered with the feeling of coffee seeping in through the fabric of her coat and surely would soon ruin her blouse as well.

“Yeah, but I could have been more careful. I’m such a klutz.” The blue eyed girl chuckled nervously, pushing her glasses up her nose, looking somewhat relieved. “Um…” She started, ridding away the useless tray she had been holding up. Lena watched as the girl smiled sheepishly to the bartender behind the bar, asking for some tissues.

The girl tried to offer Lena some paper towel but really, what good would it do? Lena declined the offer with a wave of her hand and a contented smile. “Right, uh…” The girl stuttered again. But before she could say anything more, she got startled by the ringing of her phone.

Lena continued to watch the girl. She didn’t understand it. She could just walk away, there was no benefit she could gain out of this prolonged interaction. But she couldn’t, her feet were totally anchored by the girl’s kind blue eyes and somewhat fascinating awkward demeanor.

“I’m sorry I gotta take this, one second.” The girl held up one finger in the air as she flipped her body around, standing slightly sideways to Lena.

“Yes, Ms. Grant? No, I’m already on my way… Yes, Ms. Grant, the usual. Yes, I remember. No, I’m not-yes, I know how much you hate the sound of someone breathing through the phone. Yes, I will be ri-” The girl gaped, pulling her phone away from her ear, scrunching her eyebrows in confusion. She quickly averted her attention back to Lena.

“I’m sorry about that. It’s my boss. She’s-”

“Your boss wouldn’t happen to be Cat Grant from CatCo, would it?”

The girl laughed nervously, adjusting her glasses by the rim. “That’s exactly my boss.”

Lena arched her left eyebrow, tilting her head in genuine interest. “Sounds like she’s not in a very good mood.”

“Ms. Grant can be quite challenging. But I actually like working as her assistant for the past two years. I have learned a lot.” The girl disclosed, a rather proud smile gracing her lips. Lena liked the sight of that smile. And no, she wouldn’t read too much into it.

“Two years as Cat Grant’s assistant. Knowing her reputation, I would say that’s a rather impressive accomplishment, Miss…”

“Oh, Kara. Kara Danvers.” She stumbled as she held out her hand for Lena to shake. Kara shook her hand excitedly and firmly, a wide smile seemed to be a constant on her face.

“Lena…” She returned simply. She didn’t feel the need to elaborate her last name.

“It’s nice to meet you, Lena. I wish it was under different circumstances.” Kara’s gaze dropped, looking over the mess she had created on Lena’s coat. “The offer still stand. I can-” She stopped, eyes widening at the realization. “No, no, I can’t buy you another one. That’s Hermes, right? I once had to return one of Ms. Grant’s purchases and- it’s just so expensive.”

Lena chuckled graciously, clearly amused. “Do you always speak your mind out loud?” She teased, suddenly feeling so light.

“Ah, yes…” Kara stammered, brushing the side of her neck. “Ms. Grant has expressed quite a few times how irritating it could be.”

“I don’t think it’s irritating.” Lena was quick to assure. She really didn’t want Kara to feel bad about anything, especially not something that was so… “I think it’s refreshing. Honest. Surely, people here still appreciate honesty, no?”

“I sure hope so.” Kara smiled sweetly, eyes shining with something that Lena could only describe as sincerity.

Was such thing still existed in this world?

In another universe, another lifetime, Lena believed that this, whatever it was, would surely be one of those meet cute moments she had heard of mostly in passing. But she couldn’t afford such luxury and someone like Kara, bright and full of hope, surely deserved someone who could radiate truth and iridescent promises.

And that wasn’t her.

Another ring coming from Kara’s phone broke the silent reverie Lena had indulged herself in for a few seconds and upon seeing Kara’s alarmed reaction, she offered Kara one last smile.

“I think our borrowed time has run out. I should get back to work myself and I’m sure Ms. Grant would like to get her coffee right away, Kara.”

“Ah, right! I should…” Kara mumbled intelligibly, eyes darting in slight panic. But she set those clear blue eyes once more at Lena. “Are you sure there’s nothing I can do to make up for…this?” She asked, gesturing her hand towards the ruined coat.

“Truly, don’t worry about it, Kara.” Lena assured, putting her hands back inside her pockets. She didn’t miss a beat as she bid Kara her final goodbye. “Have a good day, Ms. Danvers.”

“You too, Lena.” Kara returned, her wide smile mesmerizing. Lena was entranced but she couldn’t let herself linger anymore. She didn’t think too much about the hint of gloom that had flashed those blue eyes fleetingly. She shouldn’t care. With a slight nod, she turned around, making her way to the door.

Twice in a day she walked away from someone. To be completely honest, walking away had grown to be something she was good at. But for once in her life, she felt the urge to look back, just for a second. It was illogical, it was absurd, and Lena almost couldn’t deny it. Almost. There was no use in chasing for something that would never be within her reach. She walked through the threshold, fixing her gaze at her town car, door held opened by her trusted chauffeur.

She didn’t look back.

(Later on she wished she had.)

-----

It was Saturday night and Lena found herself sitting behind her desk, swamped in paperwork. She had let Jess go a couple of hours ago. Her assistant was stubborn beyond measure, Lena kinda liked that about her, but not on days when Lena just wanted to be left alone with her jumbled up thoughts and self-deprecating rituals.

After all, the poor girl shouldn’t have to come on a Saturday in the first place. Lena wished she could apply the same logic to herself. But it wasn’t like she had anything better to do. Nothing to come home to or stay home for aside from the shrieking silence reverberating through her hollowed penthouse.

She sighed, rubbing her right temple. She could feel a headache growing from looking at numbers and scientific and legal terms that had started to read like such nonsense in a language she wasn’t fluent in. She shook her head, setting everything aside. She then turned her seat around, facing the ceiling to floor window of her new office.

She noticed the clear night sky as her mind wandered back to bright blue eyes and wide warm smile. Try as she might, she couldn’t get her out of her mind. She wasn’t sure she wanted to. Veronica’s words ringing in her ears, you deserve something real; and Lena couldn’t help but feel that the passing conversation she had shared with Kara was the most real she had ever felt for a while now.

Before she could dwell in her treacherous soliloquy, her phone beeped, informing her of a new message. Knowing who it would be on the other side of it, she quickly swirled around and picked up the device. As the familiar moniker appeared on her screen, Lena suddenly felt like she was on the precipice of something she wasn’t ready for.

Roulette (8.46 pm): I believe I have found the one for you.

Lena (8.47 pm): Can you not make it sound as if you’re a celestial being with some fated arrow at the ready?

Roulette (8.48 pm): I don’t think I get paid enough to put up with such transgression.

Lena (8.50 pm): I believe it’s your privilege as my so called friend. Just send me the file.

Roulette (8.52 pm): Preparing to send. Fair warning, she’s not typical. I personally am surprised that this girl would even agree on such work.

Lena (8.52 pm): Define typical.

Roulette (8.53 pm): You’ll see for yourself, Luthor. Ask and ye shall receive. I present to you… common.

Lena averted her gaze from her phone as a notification of a new email appeared on her laptop. She swiftly put her phone down, eyes trained at the red dot indicating a new email received. She furrowed her eyebrows, fingers bound by hesitance. She couldn’t get rid of this indescribable feeling she got. But she was a Luthor and she wasn’t used to hesitating.

So she opened the email and clicked on the attached file.

The first thought that crossed her mind was that Veronica had been totally wrong and she felt like strangling her for saying that this girl was something common. Lena didn’t think she had ever seen someone as beautiful, inside and out.

The second thought that followed was that the universe was so twisted that it couldn’t miss out on a chance to just fuck with her even more despite all the screwed up things she had had to endure all her life.

The third thought was…

You deserve something real.

And looking back at her, a profile of a person she had kept safe in the crevices of her shattered heart. Someone too pure and kind to have taken such perfidious path that they might end up embarking together.

But try as she might, those blue eyes reeled her in and she could only surrender to the longing buried deep within. Because it was Kara and all reasons had left her senses.

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