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Undone

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It had been three weeks. Three weeks since Dean disappeared into the clutches of Michael’s control. Three weeks of endless searching and dark, long days ignoring the dread of the unknown.

Sam was run ragged, sleep deprived, surly and rapidly running out of both energy reserves and hope.

But Cas.

Cas was falling apart at the seams. Unravelling, crumbling, spread too thin for too long. Sam had watched it happen day by day with no way of knowing how to stop it, how to help.

Cas spoke less and less, and started hunkering down in his seat until he was half bent over his knees. Sam had found him curled on the steps into the library the first night he’d returned - his mom and Bobby told him Cas had been there since Dean had taken flight.

Sam hadn’t thought anything of it, not at first, shock and pain and worry - that was all. But he began to notice… things. Cas lowering his head sometimes if someone entered the room and only raising it if they addressed him directly, how he looked at his shoes more than he looked at their faces. How he looked physically pained every time he needed to make a decision and the stressed out way he ran wringed his hands and looked more and more to Sam to make the final call.

Realising exactly what was going on didn’t happen subtly. It hit Sam like a freight train when he found Cas sitting on the end of Dean’s bed running his tie through his hands.

Sam knocked softly on the door as he entered and Cas looked up at him startled, blue eyes wide, before he crumpled. He just folded in on himself and in the blink of an eye was a tangle of limbs on the floor at the foot of the bed.

Sam hurried to his knees before Cas, unsure, tentative, reaching out, “Cas! What is it, talk to me.”

Cas heaved a sobbing breath, clutching at his own clothes and his hair.

“Please, Cas, tell me.”

“I can’t!”

Sam frowned “Can’t what?”

“Anything! This, anything! I can’t Sam, I can’t. Can’t think, it’s too much, too much static, too many questions,” he finally looked up at Sam and Sam expected a tear stained face, and red eyes, but Cas was only drawn and panicked. His eyes darted between Sam’s and the rest of the room before he leaned in, arms folded into Sam’s lap and rested his forehead on Sam’s shoulder.

“What, umm, what can I do Cas?”

“There’s nothing to do."

“We will find him,” Sam began slowly.

Cas shook his head, “Not if I can’t help, and I can’t help, I don’t know what to do.”

“What do you mean can’t you help, you are helping!” Sam said gently.

“Not enough, not lately.” Cas sighed and pulled back, he began to rise to his feet. Sam stopped him with a hand on his arm. He didn’t ask, after all this time there were many things unspoken between them, so Sam looked Cas steadily in the eye until Cas decided to speak.

“Dean, he would know what to do to… to help me focus. I’ve tried doing it alone but it doesn’t appear to be effective.”

Something clicked then, barrelling Sam over.
Cas on his knees. Cas deferring to Sam’s judgement. Cas, waiting at the foot of Dean’s bed like somehow it held all the answers.

Sam cleared his throat unsure what to do. He’d spent time with Cas intimately before, and he knew Dean and Cas had their own thing going on. He’d never asked, it was private, it was their own business and he didn’t need to know. But he’d never thought to envision this.

It made sense somehow though, the darker things became in their lives the more time Dean and Cas had spent behind closed doors, locked away together for hours or days anytime the universe gave them room to breathe.

Sam looked at Cas, the way he hung his head, curled placidly on the floor and his mouth made a decision before his brain caught on to the plan.

“I could try, if you want? If you think I could help?”

Cas looked up at him bright eyed and curious. Long moments passed while Cas weighed the idea in his mind. And then he nodded and Sam felt a small spark of warmth in his chest at the trust that filled Cas’s gaze.

“Okay.”

“Okay.” Sam repeated.

They stayed like that for a long while, until they’d both calmed somewhat. Sam’s mind was running a mile a minute though, as he hurried through options and scenarios and tried to figure out what he’d just agreed to. It’s not like he had a lot of experience. He was good, he knew, at giving his lovers what they needed - what they wanted - but at its core this wasn’t really about sex and he really didn’t want to screw it up.

“So, what do you usually do? What does Dean do?” Sam asked when he realised he wasn’t coming up with the answers by himself.

Cas smiled a small smile and clambered to his feet, he wandered to a draw in Dean’s desk and pulled it open. Sam followed and found an assortment of toys and gear. He swallowed, hard. This was really serious, he understood in a way he hadn’t a minute before. Cas and Dean really did this, and Sam had just volunteered to take Dean’s place. And Cas really didn’t look like he was up to a long discussion on the specifics right at this moment.

“Dean just helps me get out of my head. Helps me get free for a while.”

“Okay,” Sam hesitated, “anything in particular you want to… use? Right now?”

And there, again, the flicker of doubt and pain across Cas’s face. His features scrunched in anguish as he looked between the draw and Sam.

“Hey, hey it’s okay. I’ll pick, if you want me to?”

Cas nodded.

“Alright, my room, ten minutes. I want you to freshen up, and I want you to get comfortable - that means at least taking off your shoes, anything else is up to you.”

Cas sagged with relief and squeezed Sam’s arm but then asked “Are you sure?”

“Completely, I got you, we’ve got each other, Cas.”

Sam spent five of the next ten minutes agonising over what to do, hovering in Dean’s room and looking over and over the things in the draw. He started to check online for ideas before realising there was too much to read and he’d just have to go with something simple.

He picked a blindfold out of Dean’s supplies, careful not to touch anything that may have been inside his brother at any point in the past because he was not ready to confront that mental image right now. He then hurried to the bathroom to relieve himself, stopped by the library to grab a couple of research books and jogged back to his room.

Sam paused for a half a second outside the door wondering what state he’d find Cas in inside. He’d told him to get comfortable, what if comfortable meant naked? Not that naked Cas was a new thing to him, but it wasn’t the way he’d expected his evening to go and he didn’t want to get over excited when this was about Cas needed.

Taking a deep, steadying breath, Sam stepped into his room.

Cas was not naked and Sam thanked whatever stars he had left that they weren’t jumping straight to being nude while they did this. Cas had removed his shoes as instructed, and had also stripped down to just his shirt and boxer shorts, with the top three buttons on the shirt undone.

Sam kicked his own shoes off and pulled Cas to sit beside him on the bed, resting against the headboard. They sat in silence acclimatising to being in such close quarters.

“What are you thinking about?” Sam asked.

“Dean, Michael, how we’ll find them, how we’ll get Dean back. How much we’ve failed so far, how little we know of what Dean will be like once he can kick Michael out. What if - ”

“Okay, so a lot.” Sam chuckled.

“Essentially everything, yes.” Cas said, a tired smile playing across his lips as he slid his eyes closed.

“Ten minutes.”

Cas’s eyes popped open and he squinted, “Ten minutes to what?”

“For ten minutes I don’t want you to think about anything.”

“I don’t think I can do that,” Cas said, frowning.

“I want you to try, I want you to focus on breathing, count the seconds, eleven seconds breathing out, seven seconds breathing in - and then repeat. You’re just going to focus on the numbers, and the air filling and emptying out of your lungs.”

“You do know I don’t need to breathe?”

“But you can, and you do, so this is your job for the next ten minutes.”

“And if I can’t,” Cas asked, a little glimmer filling his eyes “what happens then?”

Sam took Cas’s hand in his, and curled Cas’s fingers on top of his own

“Tap my hand every time another thought pops into your head, I’m going to keep count.”

“Oh, keep count for what?” Cas said with half a smile.

“That’s for later, don’t start trying to think about it. Empty head, eyes closed, count your breaths, right now. I’ll time you.”

Cas took a few seconds to get comfortable and then closed his eyes.

Ostensibly, Sam had planned to read while Cas focused on his task but his mind whirled and it took everything in him not to disturb Cas by jiggling his leg in anticipation.

Twenty eight. Cas tapped his finger twenty eight times in the ten minute period. It was less than Sam feared it might’ve been but more than he’d hoped. Sam rubbed his thumb across Cas’s palm and nudged him with his shoulder to let him know he was done.

Cas leaned into Sam and opened his eyes. Quiet. Still.

“How was it?” Sam asked.

“Not easy.” Cas turned to look at him “How many times…?”

Best to be honest straight off Sam thought. “Twenty eight.”

Cas winced.

“It’s alright, that’s what the next bit is for.” Cas sat a little straighter, and turned, tilting his head in expectation.

“Sam Winchester, are you planning to spank me twenty eight times?”

Sam laughed,completely caught off guard. Cas shook his head with a small laugh too, but didn’t look away, in fact he even looked a little eager.

“That wasn’t my plan actually, maybe another time, but I had something else in mind?” Sam posed it as a question, wanting Cas’s approval.

“Whatever you feel comfortable with Sam, I'm on board.”

Sam produced the blindfold from his back pocket, and Cas practically melted at the sight of it.

“You deviated from what you were supposed to be doing, so you get twenty eight minutes of my undivided attention.” Sam smiled, satisfied at the little shudder that rippled through Cas.

“Your attention?”

“Yeah, it’ll work best if it’s a surprise I think, if you’re up for it?”

“Yes.” Cas agreed immediately.

“Do you… er, what do you do if you want me to stop? If it goes somewhere you don’t want?”

“Grace.”

“Grace? That's your safe word?”

“Yes. Or, occasionally I just let a little sizzle in the air and Dean knows to take it back a step.”

“Oh. Is that easy? I mean, will I be able to tell that's what's happening?”

Cas smiled, “You'll know if you see it and feel it, don't worry.”

Sam got Cas situated on the floor, kneeling on a pillow in a relaxed pose. Cas looked up expectantly and Sam held out the blindfold.

Cas pushed his hand away and gestured for Sam to put it on. Sam made himself steady, he wasn't going to fumble, he wasn't going to fuck this up.

He kissed Cas's temple and slid the blindfold over Cas's eyes. Cas breathed in a big, relaxing breath and Sam sensed the change in his demeanour the instant his sight was stolen. Cas turned soft, limbs loose, head drooping.

Sam smiled.

He set his phone timer to count down twenty eight minutes and put it aside. But he didn't press start. Not yet. Sam just looked at Cas for a moment. Took in his waiting form and his gently rising chest, skin peeking out behind the half opened shirt.

He pressed the countdown to begin and moved to stand behind Cas. Sam pressed his legs up to Cas's back so that they were touching at every point of contact available and rested his hands on Cas's shoulders.

He began softly, running his hands along the muscles in Cas's neck and trailing over his shoulders; feeling how they were tight and tense, and twitched under his fingers.

Sam pressed his fingers deeper and massaged the muscles working along Cas's upper back from one side to the other. Cas sagged and moaned, his head dropping to his chest.

Sam hooked a hand under Cas's chin, wrapping around his jaw, and drew his head back until it rested against Sam's crotch. Cas swallowed and Sam felt his throat work beneath his hand.

“You like that? Do you feel how tense you are?” Sam murmured. Cas tried to nod but Sam held his head firmly still.

“Tell me.”

“I like it Sam, you're good at it.”

Sam hummed and released his grip on Cas's jaw. Cas left his head cradled in between Sam's thighs and Sam brushed his knuckles down Cas's throat, reaching inside his collar to follow the curve of his collar bone.

“You're still thinking too much aren't you?” Sam ran a thumb over Cas lower lip and then pinched it between thumb and finger and pulled. Cas gasped, and dropped his mouth open to ease the stretch.

“What's in your head Cas?”

Cas grunted. Sam let go of his lip and dug his thumbs into the spot below Cas's ears, rubbing in firm circles.

“Cas?”

“I don't, ahhh!” Cas moaned as Sam rolled an ear lobe between his fingers. “I don't know, everything? Dean, Michael, the… the world,”

Sam sank down to sit behind Cas, stretching his legs until they bracketed Cas's hips. He rested his head on Cas’s shoulder and spoke softly into his neck.

“And do you think it's right, that you have to take it on all by yourself?”

He ran his hands down Cas's arms and Cas shivered. “N-no but I can’t pretend I don't feel responsible, we-”

“Do you think it's right,” Sam interrupted, “that you're here with me and not paying me your full attention?”

“I, I don't mean -”

“Because I don't think it's very fair that you get to be far away while I'm trying so hard.”

Sam placed his hands on Cas's hips and squeezed tightly.

“Sam -”

Sam shifted one hand under Cas's shirt and dragged his nails over the skin of his stomach. Cas arched his back as his breath caught, and as he rolled his head against Sam's, Sam turned and bit at Cas's neck.

Cas cried out in surprise and his hand fluttered up to Sam's head. Sam caught each wrist and pulled until Cas placed his arms at his sides, hands on the pillow.

“No touching,” he chided, “I'm the one who gets to touch.”

He licked the spot he'd sunk his teeth into and then went back to running his hands over Cas's torso. One above the shirt and one trailing beneath. He brushed Cas's nipples and Cas made a little noise that Sam liked a lot, so he did it again, and again, and again until Cas was panting. Then stopped abruptly to run his hands through Cas's hair, fingers digging into the scalp and scratching through the strands.

Cas moaned and Sam took the cue to immediately pinch his left nipple so hard that Cas yelled and almost writhed away. Sam placed a hand firmly on each shoulder and massaged him back into place.

Sam buried his face in Cas's hair and breathed hot air against his neck and ears and temple. He caressed the tops of Cas’s legs and circled over his hips. With one hand curled around Cas's shoulder Sam dipped the other along the jut of Cas's hip.

Cas preened and shook his head, lips moving soundlessly.

“Be loud, if you want, let me know you're with me.”

Cas groaned and tilted his hip into Sam's hand. Sam was pleased, Cas was clearly starting to feeling everything, focused and reactive, much less distracted. Cas's head rolled back and landed on Sam's shoulder and Sam noted how much less taut Cas felt, how everything had fallen away.

Without thinking about it Sam's fingers slipped under the waistband of Cas's boxers. He trailed along the skin there, feeling beads of sweat clinging to his fingertips. His hand reached the centre of Cas's stomach and Sam slid lower.

Cas froze, everything tense, and Sam stopped too.
“Cas?”

“Grace, maybe? It's just, perhaps we shouldn't, we haven't -”

Sam instantly withdrew his hand.

“Whatever you need - you didn't want to just zap me with your grace?” he asked playfully.

Cas made a hestitat huffing sound and hummed a small “No. Although if you could feel, ahh, how it's singing,”

“Shhh, I can tell, you're relaxing. That's good.” Sam said before he grazed his teeth over Cas's exposed collar bone and Cas rocked his weight back into Sam.

Sam kept going like that, making Cas melt and moan and then taking him by surprise with a firmer hand or rough nails over his skin.

Cas went boneless from the touch of Sam's fingers over his chest and neck and Sam caught him off guard by gripping his hair and yanking his head back. He mouthed at Cas's jawline and licked his neck until Cas groaned.

“More Sam… Sam, please!”

And Sam immediately moved away from his position behind Cas. Cas swayed and let out a disappointed sound, head turning to find Sam, eyes still covered.

Sam glanced at the timer, twenty minutes had passed. He sat down in front of Cas and picked up his left hand, rubbing deep circles all the way down his forearm and across his palm.

Cas leaned forward, reaching out with his other hand. Sam caught it up and gave it the same treatment.

“What are you thinking about now?”

“You, your mouth, my neck,” Cas said, voice low and grating.

“This mouth?” Sam asked before he bit down gently on Cas's palm.

“Yes!” Cas cried out.

“Do you think you've earned it?”

Cas practically whined, tilting sideways. Sam lifted and guided Cas up to sit on his lap, legs trailing around Sam's waist.

“I would like...”

“Not what I asked, Cas. Have you earned it? Have you been here with me?”

Sam kept touching, squeezing his hands around Cas's waist and scratching his nails at the top of Cas's neck, scrubbing into his hair. Cas let out little huffy breaths and jolted in Sam's lap.

“I tried, I'm trying.”

“Your time is almost up."

Cas mumbled something and gripped his hands around Sam's shoulders.

“If you want more you'll have to beg for it. And I think you deserve it.” Sam added in a whisper.

“Can you… let me stay."

“You've been so good, so responsive,” Sam said encouragingly.

“More, let's do more. You're so good to me Sam.”

“You're doing so well.”

“Please, I want to stay with you.”

Sam broke into a grin and pressed his lips to Cas's, he cradled his head and flicked his tongue into Cas's mouth.

“Whatever you want, Cas.” Sam murmured against his lips.

The timer beeped and Sam switched it off without pausing.

*

Chapter Text

A few days passed, blending slowly into another week and then another and between them they found a rhythm. Cas was learning to come to Sam when he wanted a release and Sam was learning to pick up on the times when Cas needed a heavier hand and hadn’t spoken up about it.

They had talked too, and implemented some rules. First and foremost that Cas wouldn’t use his angelic powers during play, so he would be closer to being as open and vulnerable as any other person, so he could really feel it. But also so that a sting of his grace could still be their version of a safe word without it being confused with anything else.

Secondly, no orgasm denial. Or at least, no orgasm denial that lasted longer than the length of the scene. They both needed to be focused and on an even keel, and having a burning unfulfilled need wasn’t going to help with that.

Thirdly, they hadn’t yet progressed to feeling ready for penetrative sex, they knew they’d get there eventually but it did mean finding more inventive ways to engage with each other in the meantime, which was no bad thing.

Even without full access to his grace, Cas’s body could take more than a human, and finding that line was something Sam realised early on would be imperative. Mostly, he was there, getting it just right - other times Cas had to nudge him forwards to make sure he could fulfil all Cas’s needs.

After that first evening they’d made time to spend together every two or three days. It gave Sam time to think about what they could do, and it gave Cas time to build up a need for the sessions again. He responded the most beautifully when he’d had to wait for it, and it took him over the edge quicker and deeper.

But now it had been five days, the longest they’d waited yet. It wasn’t by choice, first Cas had been away, and then Sam had been compelled to follow a new line of research late into the previous two nights.
The stress hadn’t lessened at all, if anything they were more tired and wrung out the longer they searched without answers.

And it had shown today.

Cas had been sullen, barely speaking except to make his displeasure known. Three times he had snapped at people unnecessarily ranting about whatever problem he found, all three times it had been out of proportion to the mistake or query someone made.

It couldn’t go on.

Sam waited until they were the only ones left awake so they wouldn’t be disturbed and then went looking for Cas.

He found him in the corridors and moved languidly into his space, grabbing a wrist and placing another hand on Cas’s shoulder he leaned in.

“My room, right now,”

“Sam,” Cas looked up questioning.

“You need some correcting after your behaviour today,”

Cas’s eyes sparkled, “Do I?”

“Yes, do you really want to question me?”

“If you say so,” he said, extricating himself from Sam’s grip. “Make it worth it,” he threw back over his shoulder as he stormed away.

Sam sighed, it was going to be a long night.

He entered the room hot on Cas’s heels, immediately stripping down to his undershirt and sweatpants.

“Pants off,” he said, not bothering to look at Cas to see if he was obeying. He dug through the little stash of toys that he’d sequestered into his room, looking for what he wanted. Finding it he turned around, hiding it behind his back.

Cas was standing arms crossed over his chest: pantless, underwear gone and only in his shirt. His cock hung below the cut of white material and Sam suppressed a smirk at him standing there exposed.

“Do you know what you did that made me decide you needed this?”

Cas sighed dramatically, “I suppose it has to do with my interactions with some of our current guests.”

“Not just guests, Cas, they’re fellow hunters and they fought against Michael in their own world - they’re here to help. You can’t be so dismissive of them, they’re doing the best they can.”

“They want to stop Michael, at any cost, Dean could be that cost!”

“But Cas, yelling at them, being short with them over nothing important, that’s not going to win them to our side. That’s not going to help Dean.”

“I know,” Cas conceded, “my patience is thin, but I don’t mean to take it out on others.”

“Okay good, apologise tomorrow, but I want to help you remember to behave more congenially in the future.”

“Hmm,” Cas grumped, but nodded. “What punishment am I getting today?”

“Spanking, fifteen for each bout of rudeness. Tell me how many that is overall.”

“Forty-five.”

“Correct,” Sam smiled, “you can choose where we do this, if you want,”

Cas cast about the room and settled his eyes on the desk. He leaned over it, pillowing his head on his folded arms and Sam stepped up behind him, quickly placing the paddle he’d picked out on his book pile, out of Cas’s sight.

Cas was stiff, standing awkwardly clenched, with something stormy still in his eyes. Sam didn’t like the look of where this was going but without any other ideas of how to follow through he went for it.

Two blows landed before Cas was sighing, and two more before he was trying to time the hits with a backwards jolt of his hips to increase the weight of the blows.

Sam placed a firm hand on his lower back in warning.

“Hold still,” he said with as much authority as he could muster at the late hour.

Cas stilled for another slap of Sam’s hand before moving to stand.

“What?”

“I need you to hit harder,” Cas said, shortly, “please.” he tacked on the end as a second thought.

“What you need, is to hold still and let me do this.” Sam replied, pushing on his back to guide Cas to resume the stance.

“Sam, this isn’t going to be enough!”

He placed a hand more firmly between Cas’s shoulder blades, “Well not with that attitude.”

“I’m serious Sam, you have to go harder, if you want me to feel it,” Cas said, as he tried again to twist around.

“Will you stop and let me do this?” Sam asked aggravated.

“You’re not doing it right!”

“Fine, you think I’m not doing it right? We’ll stop until you have a change of heart.” Sam took a large step backward, pulling Cas up by the elbow as he did so.

Cas went limp and unresisting at Sam’s rough voice. Sam snagged a suit tie off his desk chair and walked with Cas over to the door. Cas tried to turn around to get a look at Sam but he pushed him face first against the wood.

Then Cas started to struggle, twisting his limbs and trying to slink away. Sam brought one hand down in a stinging slap on his upper thigh and Cas yelped, and stilled.

Sam twisted his arms up to the small of his back, placing them forearm to forearm.

“Hold,” he instructed.

Cas sighed, resting his forehead against the door with a clunk, but uncurled his fingers to grip his own arms.

With Cas holding in position Sam quickly knotted the tie and eased the loop over Cas’s head. He had made the knot as close to the end of the tie as he could, leaving a long length free. He pulled the knot tight under Cas’s chin and Cas looked sidelong at him while he pulled him half a step backwards with a hand on his shoulder.

He opened the door a fraction, and Cas made a small noise of protest, but Sam only threw the long end of the tie into the crack at the top before shutting the door again, trapping Cas in place.

Cas spluttered, surprised and a tiny bit off balance, his chin was forced upwards by the tie around his throat and he couldn’t stand anywhere other than planted right up against the door.

He unclasped his hands from behind his back, twisting as best he could to eyeball Sam. He looked bewildered, which might have been cute what with the naked ass on display and the blush spreading across it, but his eyes gave him away, he was pissed and only half attempting to hide it.

“What is this Sam? Let me down,” it was silly really, Cas could release himself if he chose. But the fact that he didn’t, that he stayed, eased a worry in Sam’s mind. Everything was still on the table, Cas wasn’t about to up and leave.

“Time out,” Sam said simply with a shrug, “we’ll pick back up when you’re in a better headspace.”

“I don’t need a time out,” Cas began, but Sam cut him off.

“You were squirming and trying to distract me, that isn’t going to cut it, I won’t do this scene with you like that,”

“It’s not as though you could actually hurt me, not in any real way.”

“That’s not the point Cas, and if you can’t see that then I won’t continue either.”

Cas moved to itch a hand at the constriction under his jaw, “And the reason for the theatrics?” he asked with a sigh, indicating the door and his makeshift collar.

“I thought you might need a reminder of where, and how to stand,” Sam grinned, “plus it gives me a nice view.”

Cas harrumphed quite spectacularly and moved his neck, testing the tautness of the trapped tie. The angle of his head and the close proximity to the door couldn’t have been all that comfortable.

Sam stepped into the space behind him, nudged his feet slightly further apart, took hold of his hands and arranged them behind his back again, and then slid a hand over his eyes, forcing them closed.

“When you feel in a better head space to continue, stand like this, and I’ll know you’re ready to go.” he spoke low, adding just a hint of his most commanding tone into this voice.

Cas stiffened, and then melted, going loose limbed and soft. He gave one terse half-nod, and Sam removed the hand from over his eyes.

Taking a seat at his desk, Sam sat back to watch the show, palming the semi hard on he’d acquired from seeing Cas spread in front of him.

Minutes ticked by and Cas shifted his weight from foot to foot, eyes glaring ahead in between flicking to Sam in annoyance. He didn’t seem to know what to do with his arms, swinging by his hips seemed to irritate him and standing so close to the door he couldn’t cross them in over of his chest.

“This is not comfortable,”

“It’s not supposed to be.” Sam countered.

“How long do you expect me to stand here, achieving nothing?”

“As long as it takes for you to give yourself over to me.” Sam said with a growl.

Cas froze, shoulders hunched, and then released a breath with a sigh.

And that was it, that was the thing Sam was waiting for. As pleasant as it was seeing him standing in place just because Sam asked it of him, the moment it began to click that he needed to surrender was what this was all about.

It took a while longer before Cas moved into position. He spread his feet first, and then clasped his hands to his elbows behind him, and then, finally, closed his eyes.

Sam let him wait a little longer, holding the position in silent stillness, watching him calm further as more time ticked passed before he moved and wrapped Cas in an embrace. Arms pulling his hips back and encircling his waist, Sam nipped at his ear.

“Good, very good.”

Cas leaned his weight against Sam’s chest at the praise.

“Ready to continue?”

“Yes, please,” he muttered.

Door opened, then closed again, and tie in hand Sam used it to pull Cas across the floor space to the bed.

He stumbled a little, eyes still closed and arms held behind him - which Sam hadn’t even told him to do, Cas was just that eager to please.

Sam eased Cas forward until his legs jostled the edge of the bed. His eyes sprang open, a question in the raised eyebrows over the change in location, Sam had other ideas now.

Sam nodded, small and quick, “Brace yourself here,” he said and pushed on Cas's shoulder lightly.

Cas complied without comment, uncurling his arms and placing his forearms on the bed; eyes slipping closed again as his mouth twitched upwards slightly.

Sam took a moment to breathe in through his nose and make sure his head was clear. Cas’s breathing had sped up in anticipation and Sam watched his chest rising and falling in large, quick surges.

Sam grabbed the globe of one ass cheek, digging fingers into the flesh and squeezing. “Don't get too worked up yet, save it for later,” he said with warmth, a little mocking, and Cas groaned and hid his face in the bed covers.

“Feeling a little needy there?” Sam asked, liking the way a flush was spreading down Cas’s neck and disappearing under his shirt.

“Yes,”

“Want me to take care of it?”

“Please,”

“What do you need me to do, Cas? Tell me exactly what you want.”

“Need you to,” Cas paused, hips swaying as he squirmed “to spank me. Please.”

“How much?”

“As much as you want, until - until I'm red and shaking,” he turned his head and looked Sam in the eye, a pleading expression written clear across his half hidden face.

“Okay then, keep still for me, you can count these first ones,”

“First ones?” Cas asked quickly.

“Yes, if you'd let me keep going you'd have seen that my hand is just the warm up. We'll get to the paddle after that, I know you can take as many again with the paddle as you will from my hand, right?” Which was definitely not something Sam would try with a person, but Cas - Cas needed more, could take more.

Cas's breath hitched, “Okay,” he breathed “sorry, Sam I didn't -”

“Quiet now, we're past it. Ready?”

Cas nodded, Sam took a step to the side, and swung.

Sam aimed the first hit to land in the centre of a cheek, a sharp slap that made it wobble. He waited for Cas to count one and then mirrored it on the opposite side.

The first five hits did little to darken the skin of Cas’s backside, a hint of pink and a warmth in Sam’s hand the only sign that they’d even begun.

Sam kept the rhythm steady, a little slower than Cas seemed to want, if the way he barked out the numbers as quickly as possible was any indication. He matched them side by side until he reached ten, and then moved to a more random pattern.

Smack, count, watch the red follow the blow of his hand.

Smack, wait, see how Cas clenches.

Sam was measured, and cool, but his dick was thoroughly enjoying the show and making itself known. He used his free hand to press against the soon-to-be-unsightly bulge in his sweatpants, and tried to make it very clear to the little guy that that wasn’t on the table just yet.

Sam hit harder and by twenty-five Cas was practically purring under his hand, small groans and little grunts. His ass had turned a darker hue somewhere between red and pink and he held himself still but with an eager push out of the hips, every little jolt forward corrected as he uttered the number of the blow.

Sam switched hands, he’d started with his non-dominant and had his stronger hand for the second half. Cas was breathing slow and steady now, the sensations reaching him but not tipping him over yet.

Sam struck hard on the crease where ass became thigh, and Cas yelped before counting.

Twenty-six

Sam was torn between wanting to speed up and get to the good stuff, the heavier stuff, or whether to make it last. He looked at Cas for the cue, seeing where he was starting to fall into the pure feel of it, and took that as the moment to hit faster, barely giving Cas time to shout the number.

And then he backed off and went slow and Cas mewled at the space he was given and rocked as his ass; coloured with heat.

In the thirties Sam made a point of hitting the same spots twice, quick sharp slap of skin on skin, his handprints landing one on top of the other. Cas gasped at that, and Sam nodded, satisfied.

The last five he landed high on the sides of Cas’s cheeks hitting as hard as he could in the last space of fatty flesh, and watched as Cas jostled beneath the blows, first one way and then the other.

As Cas moaned the last - forty five - Sam placed a soothing hand on the small of his back, rubbing in circles.

“How’s that feel?”

“Mmm,” Cas moaned, “s’getting there,”

Sam rolled his eyes, but held his annoyance in, “That really not do much for you?”

Cas sunk further onto the bed as he rolled to look at Sam, “It did, just don’t stop,”

Sam curled his fingers into the short hair on the back of his neck, and gripped with a sudden surge of ferocity “Don't worry, I’m not done with you yet, you don’t get off that lightly.”

Cas shivered, rolling his head further into the touch. Sam rubbed a hand across his shoulders, easing him back into the position he’d be holding.

“Don’t move, stay right where I put you,”

Cas stiffened and shifted, getting his head back down and his ass up - still clear headed enough to be aware of himself and his stance, which was something Sam definitely needed to change.

The paddle was laid out on the desk where he’d left it and Sam grabbed it. He moved back to stand beside Cas, legs pressed against the mattress and knee just shy of touching Cas’s leg. A little point of contact between them, if Cas leaned that way.

Cas’s cock was full and heavy between his legs, swollen and red, and Sam smirked to know he was getting all worked up over having his ass spanked. Not that Sam could talk, his own cock making a growing wet patch on his crotch. He wondered briefly what it was about this that got Cas going, he didn’t have a nice bare ass jerking around in front of his eyes or the sight of someone coming undone at just the smack of his hand. It must be the feel, or the surrender, and Sam ached for a moment to know that side of it, the urgency and the need, instead of the steady control and withheld pleasure.

He folded up his thoughts and tucked them away for another day. Now was the time to take Cas over, pull him under, getting caught in fantasies wasn’t what they needed. What he needed was to focus all his energy and perceptions on Cas; on his breathing, his muscles, his noises.

Time to see how far they could go.

Sam dragged the paddle across the slap-happy red of Cas’s ass, letting him feel the weight of it, the holes and sturdy wood it was made of. Cas shuddered, lungs letting out a raspy noise of anticipation, and that’s when Sam swung.

The noise as it struck was lower, softer almost, a thwack not a slap and it joined in unison with the singing note that punched out of Cas’s mouth. His ass was instantly redder, a larger mark mottled briefly with white lines around the impact of the holes, blood soon rushing to warm the skin in blotches.

Sam didn’t wait to admire it though, he hit again, and again, watching how Cas’s cheeks shook and his thighs wobbled with the strain. How his shoulders curled as he ducked his head further, pressing down into the mattress while holding his pose with determination. Hit after hit, overlapping and cross ways, always landing on his fleshy cheeks, always bringing him closer to tipping over.

“Your ass is getting so red,” Sam said, punctuation each word with a swing and the ensuing thud.

“Holding so still for me though, taking what you deserve so well, no complaining, no second guessing, nothing. So good, making up for earlier,” Sam whisper-crooned, between two blows, loud enough for Cas to hear but quiet enough that he had to strain to listen.

Cas moaned at the praise.

Sam took a pause, rolling his wrist and shoulder, looking to see how far Cas had slipped. His eyes were screwed tight, breath coming in gulps. Sam pressed a hand to his heated ass, rubbing a little. Cas jolted even at that but a groan of pleasure punctuated his jerk too.

They were halfway through and Cas was almost all the way gone.

“Ready for more?” Sam asked, dipping low to speak into his ear, “Think you can take it?”

“Yes, ready, I’m ready,”

“No shame in stopping now if you think you've taken enough,” Sam didn't pose it as a question, he knew Cas didn't like that - it was an out but not a query over his resolve.

“No!” Cas squeezed the word out, “I'm… I can take more, I need it all.”

No safe word, no crackling energy sparking Sam's skin, so he pushed down on Cas’s back for a warm point of contact and started up again.

He went even slower at the end, drawing it out and leaving the paddle flush with Cas’s skin while he whined and waited for it to pull away and strike again. The indents of the paddle becoming clearer under the weight of harder strokes.

It was possibly the hottest thing Sam had ever seen, the way Cas hiccuped in breaths and clutched at the bedding. Little sobs breaking through until he was nothing but a weak pile of limbs supporting a cherry red ass, and Sam had done it all.

When the last three strokes were all that remained Sam paused, considering, wanting to make it all more personal. He cast about the room and his eyes settled on a large hardbound book.

Two strides, snatching it up, and he was situated again behind Cas and dropped the weight of it onto his back - holding it still with firm fingertips. Cas’s eyes flew open, “Ah, so you are with it enough to feel that,” Sam commented.

“What is it?” Cas asked, words slurred and slow.

“Just something I found to give your ass a more Sam Winchester experience.” he said with a smile in his voice. “You’ve got three left, do you want it?”

“Whatever you give me, Sam, I want to have it all,”

Sam hoped he wasn’t going to ruin the whole scene, but he lifted the book with both hands, “Good, Cas, so good,” and then he twisted away and slammed the book onto Cas’s ass with a thump. Cas gasped, eyes open and watering, and Sam hit again, right across the middle, and one last time to complete the set.

He leaned down and placed a kiss on one exposed ass cheek, blowing a little hot air across the tortured skin and Cas near rocked out of his reach at the sensation ending up curled on his side to face Sam. Sam looked up, searching Cas’s eyes for… well for everything. For the calm, for the pleasure, and the approval. His face had tears tracks and his lip was swollen from teeth that had chewed on it, and he smiled, a small fragile thing that Sam mirrored instantly.

“Was it good for you to?” Cas asked, croaky.

“You were perfect,” Sam ran soothing hands over his arms, shoulders, cupped his neck and drank in the look on his face. He leaned in close, “Do you want your reward now?”

Cas’s glassy eyes widened in surprise, even as his head nodded; he was so far gone that Sam thought he’d better be very specific. He moved to caress Cas’s cock, gentle and then not so much, Cas squealed, so undignified and all need and he thrust into the touch.

“Want to come Cas? Want to come by my hand?”

“Yes,”

“Yes, what?”

“Yes, please, please please, you too, Sam,”

Sam laughed, and alright, maybe - if Cas insisted.

“I’d lay you on your back, but not sure you’re gonna want to,” Sam mused, “think you can keep your legs under you a few more minutes?”

“Don’t question me, boy,” Cas replied with a smirk. He shuffled around and scooted down the bed again, gasping as the movement brought home how very sore his ass currently was.

He let the bed take more of his weight, only just leaving access for Sam to reach under his stomach to grip the cock swollen large with desire and leaking on the sheets.

The lube in Sam’s pocket opened quickly, and hand all slicked up he kissed Cas’s cheek, just below the eye and then ran his hand over everything that counted.
As Cas moaned, lips moving and sputtering noises that Sam thought he didn’t even know he was making, Sam moved into place behind him - flush up against the quietly bruising flesh of his ass.

Cas cried out at the contact, and pushed forward, uttering no, yes, more and please in quick succession.

“All good up there?” he asked.

“Yes!” Cas shouted, “so much,”

“Cas, Castiel, you are everything,” Sam said with reverence.

Cas preened at the praise, making an eager noise and Sam brought him to the edge, and almost over - and then he stopped.

No more moving, no more gently squeezing fist, no friction or sensation. Just the heat of Cas’s cock under his hand, and the heat of his ass pressed flush to Sam’s sweatpant enclosed crotch.

“If you want it, you’ll have to work for it.” he said low and reedy, and Cas shuddered beneath him, “So, come on, come and get it.”

There was a pause, a moment, where he didn’t think Cas would - and then it passed in a lurch as Cas rutted forward, and back again, urging his hips to drag his cock through Sam’s still curled fist and grinding his ass on Sam’s cock in the process.

“Feels amazing,” Sam breathed, “always so good,”

Cas stuttered and came, and the jolts of it pulled Sam into his climax too.

Chapter Text

In the flurry of activity surrounding the second scouting party arriving back at the bunker Sam missed the moment that Cas walked back through the door. He knew the outcome had been disappointing, Dean had been at neither of the places they’d expected to encounter high level supernatural phenomena, and he knew that Cas had taken the hit hard — it had been the most solid lead they’d had in weeks.

He was only aware of Cas’s presence by a few deep grunted words and the flap of a beige coat disappearing out of sight.

Sam extricated himself as soon as he could, hurrying through the winding hallways until he found Cas in a little used back corner leaning up against the tiled wall. He was hunched, hands on his knees, head hanging low.

“Cas?”

He looked up, and didn’t say anything but he straightened, looking as though he was steeling himself. Putting his thoughts aside and soldiering on, not dealing.

Sam reached him, trying gently to take his shoulder. He practically flinched away.

“What is it?”

Cas narrowed his eyes, jaw twitching and Sam knew that meant he was annoyed. Deflecting but hurting.

“I failed.” He hissed.

“What, no—”

“Dean wasn’t there, I failed.”

“Cas,” Sam said sternly. “You didn’t fail, your mission wasn’t to find Dean with no further information, your mission was to check out the area and see what was going on. You did that. It’s not your fault that the spike in activity wasn’t related to Michael.”

“But we were meant to find him!”

“You were meant to confirm sources, one way or another that was all. You didn’t fail.”

Cas was angry and worried, Sam wanted to say more but they were interrupted and Cas turned away when Sam’s attention was directed elsewhere.

Hours later, still unable to find time alone to talk, and plan how to comfort Cas, Sam resorted to texting.

-I think we should do something special tonight

-Ok. Anything in mind?

-I left something for you on my nightstand. If you like the idea, prepare yourself. I’ll be along as soon as I can.

Sam didn’t get another reply and took that as a good sign. The next hour dragged slowly, as he reluctantly debriefed everyone who was around that their leads had come to nothing.

“And we’ve got nothing else to go on?” Mary asked.

“Not yet, not tonight at least,” Sam replied, heart heavy. “I think we should all get some sleep and we can pick up in the morning, nothing more can get done tonight.”

Not that he planned on sleeping much, there were other things he needed to do first. Other ways he needed to wind down, and to bring Cas down with him. He was halfway to the showers when Mary caught up with him and slipped her arms around his waist. Sam took a deep steadying breath, enjoying the comfort.

“We’ll find him, we’ll fix him,” he said.

“I know, I trust you,” she replied, before easing away and nodding goodnight.

Sam was dazed and coiled taut. He was holding on for everyone, single minded and strong in the face of dwindling hope, he was keeping it together for everyone else. His plan for tonight wouldn’t just help Cas, it would give him some much needed comfort and company too, somewhere to just be.

He spent a long time in the shower trying to clear his head. This wouldn’t work if he was as highly strung as Cas was, if Cas could sense his disappointment like an acidic scent on the air neither of them would be able to relax. He hung his head under the jets of hot water - and thank god the bunker had unbelievably good water pressure - and let his emotions work their way loose.

He redressed in the same soft pair of jeans, but no underwear, and pulled on a t-shirt feeling as prepared as he could. He hoped Cas felt prepared too. If he was, well, then he’d spent the better part of an hour already stretched open and probably ached a little by now. Ached for more.

It served Sam well, it meant he was halfway to having a needy sub on his hands rather than a harried angel.

He found Cas standing in his room, shirtless and wearing the soft sleep pants Sam had laid out. He turned, his back stiff and straight, lifting an eager face to Sam. He was all steady control and tight lines of tension, Sam could practically feel the way he was clenching, his muscles rippling.

“Hey,” Sam said, casual, low.

“Sam, is everything alright?”

“Mhmm,” Sam nodded, he was exhausted, but he was ready for this too. “Why wouldn’t it be?”

“You… you just took a while to get here.”

“Missing me Cas?” he said playfully.

“Ready for you,” Cas said, a hint of a growl in his tone.

“I bet you are, got that new toy all settled in?”

Sam was slipping into the role easily tonight, he realised with a smile, letting go of everything else. Too exhausted to overthink it, or to have his mind splintered into more than one objective. The only thing that mattered was what was happening between them.

“Yes,” Cas purred, and there was annoyance flashing in his gaze.

Sam was right up into Cas's space now, their bodies slotted together. He placed a hand on Cas's hip where material met bare flesh and dug his fingertips into the skin.

“Show me.”

Cas nudged Sam's chin with his head to make him step back and give a little room, then turned around until they were back to chest. Sam helped him slip his pants down and steadied him as he bent in half, ass up in invitation to look and feel and play.

And sure enough the brand new plug Sam had left for him was exactly where it should be, the black base sitting snug between his cheeks. Sam hummed, taking two handfuls of Cas and eased his ass cheeks apart to get a better look. Cas gasped, hips swaying and Sam planted a kiss on one cheek and slipped an arm around Cas’s waist to guide him upright, holding Cas close to his chest.

“Looks good, how’s it feel?”

“It felt strange about an hour ago, and then uncomfortable, and now it’s… well it’s driving me a little wild.”

“Is that so?” Sam said, smirking. He reached down and ran his knuckles over Cas’s cock, which was already slightly blood swollen and heated. Cas groaned at the small amount of contact and Sam smiled into the back of his head.

“You know you react so perfectly, I barely have to do anything.”

“We are going to do something, though, aren’t we?”

“If you like,” Sam replied coyly.

Cas huffed.

“Get dressed, we should talk about it.”

“Talk?”

“Well I should tell you the rules for tonight, it’s only fair.”

Cas hurried to yank his pants back into place and looked bright eyed at Sam.

Sam pulled him into an embrace, closing his eyes to savour the moment, one hand clasped around the back of his head and the other hugging his waist. Cas breathed deeply, nose pressed to Sam’s shirt.

They stood for a long moment before Sam pulled away and sat in his chair. He fiddled around opening his laptop, pulling up some maps and checklists, things they were going over and double checking. He spied Cas out of the corner of his eye, standing where he’d left him, one hand twisting in the waistband of the pants and the other crossed over his body, waiting for instructions.

Sam smiled.

“How are you feeling about, well today, and everything?”

Cas visibly tensed, shifting his weight and staring at the floor.

“Still like a failure, still like we lost.”

“Okay.”

“Okay?” Cas’s head shot up, eyes meeting Sam’s in confusion.

“There’s no wrong way to feel, and I can’t physically change your emotions, you’re allowed to feel them and express them.”

“But earlier you said - ”

“You are not a failure Cas, you did everything you should have done. Objectively that is true, you believe that right?”

Cas sagged, clasping his hands.

“Yes,” he said quietly. “I know you wouldn’t say it if it weren’t true.”

“But it’s perfectly reasonable to feel defeated and I’m not going to tell you you’re wrong for how you feel.”

Sam waited to watch the words sink in.

Cas frowned, nodding slightly.

“How humans ever learned to adapt to this many conflicting thoughts and emotions I will never understand,” Cas said, irritated and awed in equal measure.

“I know, it’s a lot, and the situation right now…” Sam gestured around and scrubbed at his face, pushing his hair away from his eyes. “I’m running on empty too.”

Cas moved to stand in the V of Sam’s legs, Sam let him slot into place and rested his hands on Cas’s thighs. Cas cradled his head and planted kisses along his forehead, he was learning to give affection so much more readily and Sam melted at his touch.

“I thought maybe we should do something simple, something that will make you focus, with nothing much to think about or accomplish, and… I just want you near me.” he finished lamely.

Cas smiled down at him. “Simple sounds good.”

“Alright,” Sam leaned back to take him in, his flushed skin practically oozing anticipation. “How do you feel about cock warming?”

Cas swallowed, nodding.

“For you? Good, yeah, I could do that.”

“Yes for me,” Sam chuckled, “I have some things I should keep looking through,” he gestured at the screen, “can you keep me company until I’m done?”

“Yes,” Cas was halfway bending to his knee and Sam stopped him with a hand.

“There are rules for you to follow.”

“Naturally,” Cas replied, eyes alight.

“I don’t want you to get me hard until I say I’m ready, that’s rule number one.”

“Got it.”

“And the second rule, the one that really matters, you aren’t allowed to come until I do.”

“Alright?” Cas looked puzzled.

“Did you notice that new plug came with a remote?”

Cas’s eyes widened in a shock of realisation.

“I did, it’s still over there.”

“Bring it to me.” Sam said. “And some rope too.”

 


 

Ten minutes later Sam had a tiny two button remote cradled in one hand and grasped a few cords of rope in the other. He’d made a harness over Cas’s bare chest, running across his collar bones and around his shoulders to frame his pectorals. The loop of rope running up his breast bone fit Sam’s hand, with his knuckles pressed to Cas's delicate skin.

He tugged on it, using the leverage to urge Cas to move. Cas was slow, awkwardly balanced without his arms to steady him, but he carefully shuffled further into the space between Sam’s feet. His hands were carefully drawn up behind his back, clasped together forearm to forearm, and knotted into the makeshift harness. It wasn’t really a necessary addition to the evening but the red rope looked nice, and it made Cas settle into his role a tiny bit quicker.

Plus, Sam didn’t want him touching anything he wasn’t supposed to, and it was easier than reminding him every time he might get a little handsy. There would be no relief he could find in his hands tonight, this was all about self control and focus, and giving over to whatever sensations happened to him.

Sam caressed his cheek once, finally letting himself think about those pink, wide lips coming into contact with his cock. Which, potentially, was not the right move as his cock gave a valiant twitch at the thought.

Save it for later he thought. He wasn’t supposed to be getting hard yet. It was Cas’s job to make sure he was warm but no more than that, and Sam wasn’t going to rig the game if he could help it.

“Ready to try the first setting? Make sure it works?”

“I think so,” Cas smiled, chest rising and falling in rapid succession.

Sam flicked the first button and Cas screwed up his face, mouth dropping open a fraction as his eyes lost a little focus. Sam could barely hear anything, if he wasn’t listening for it the thin buzzing would have gone unnoticed.

Cas got his reactions under control within the space of a few seconds, but he was staring hard at a spot on Sam’s thigh.

“How’s it feel? Manageable?”

“It’s good, just a little… fizzing,” Cas said, looking up.

“Fizzing?” Sam almost laughed.

“It’s a close enough descriptor.”

“Alright, well,” Sam flicked the lower button, turning the vibrations off. “Ready when you are.”

“You’re not going to leave it on the entire time?” Cas asked.

Sam took hold of the harness again, pulling Cas up and straight, balanced on his knees.

“I was thinking of turning it up and down at random, if you think you can handle that?”

Cas let out a small high moan and nodded, taking a deep breath. Sam stroked a thumb over his bare chest, waiting for an answer.

“Yeah, I can do it.”

“Good, then let’s get to it, I’ve got a lot of stuff to look through.”

Sam unbuttoned his jeans, pushing the faded fabric aside and drew out his cock. He settled into his chair, slouching down so that his groin was angled forwards and opened the first set of programmes on his screen.

He glanced down as Cas leaned in, and closed his eyes as warm smooth sensation enveloped the head of his cock. Cas moaned, a low short note in the back of his throat, as Sam’s cock hit his tongue and Sam had to grab the arm of his chair to ground himself.

Fuck

He’d better read fast, he wasn’t sure how long he could last.

 


 

 

Sam read for a few minutes before flicking the button and letting the plug buzz to life. Cas swallowed as his body jumped at the sensation, but he settled back down in less than ten seconds.

It was pleasant, Cas was near, Sam’s cock was warm, they would both benefit from the skin to skin contact. Sam easily read through his materials, checking reports from hunters out in the field, and cross referencing which areas and leads they’d covered in their search for Dean. None of it was really new information, but Sam liked to know he’d committed it all to memory.

He paused, taking a short break, and pressed the increase button for Cas’s plug. The result was instant, Cas jolted forward, pressing Sam’s cock to the back of his throat and choking, reacting hard and fast. As heat travelled further down the length of his cock Sam felt arousal build.

“Careful now.” he said as Cas eased back to a more comfortable amount of cock in his mouth. “Don’t get me excited yet.”

Cas hummed, which also didn’t help. Sam gave him a few ticks to settle and then blue eyes lifted to meet his and Sam smiled. He quickly tapped the button again and Cas groaned, rocking back and forth, Sam’s cock sliding along his tongue as his head bobbed at the movement.

With a force of will Cas made himself stop. He had screwed his eyes up as the vibrations increased but he opened them again now and stared at Sam’s chest. Sam stroked his hair, and then pressed the down button, decreasing the plugs insistent buzzing back to the second level.

He felt Cas exhale around his cock.

“So good, you’re doing so good. Keep going.” he said softly.

Cas blinked and his mouth widened in what would probably have been a smile if his lips weren’t already hollowed and rounded.

Sam left him be and went back to his work.

A short time later he felt Cas slurp and looked down to see saliva pooling down Cas’s chin. There was already a slick mess on the chair edge, and Cas’s chin was coated. Sam used a finger to wipe around Cas’s lips and Cas looked up with hooded eyes.

“Just let it happen, it’s fine.”

Cas made a sound of protest but he didn’t move to pull away. Sam let him wiggle around a little, breathing steadily as his cock was stimulated, but held Cas’s gaze as he got more comfortable.

“Doing well Cas, keeping me so warm, and I’m not hard yet, doing great.”

He looked down at the angels crotch, noticing a wet patch growing on the seam of his sweatpants.

“Making a mess at both ends, huh?”

Cas flushed red.

“Not close to coming though are you?”

Cas shook his head minutely and Sam nodded approval. The “up” button got another click and the vibration buzzed much more audibly again. Cas groaned, leaning forward to take the weight off his ass, swallowing down more of Sam’s cock as he did so.

He was breathing hard through his nose, his cheeks beginning to hollow out with the strain which was way too much sensation, far too distracting for Sam.

He leaned over and flicked at one, then the other, of Cas’s nipples. It caused a sharp intake of breath from him and he stilled, surprise written over his visible features.

“Don’t get too eager.” Sam said, rubbing the flesh of one nipple, rolling it. “Pay attention to what your mouth is doing remember? That’s all.”

Cas made an agreeable noise and Sam gently gripped the harness, eased Cas away from his body again, and went back to reading.

Sam checked the clock when half an hour had passed. It was a long time for anyone to hold their mouth open for a cock, but Cas wasn’t just anyone, he could manage this.

Even so, Sam decided if they really wanted to keep it up for a much longer Cas would have to do something about the ache in his jaw.

“Cas.”

He looked up at his name, and Sam noticed that even though his upper body was held rigid, his mouth a central point that every muscle gripped to keep still, his lower body was twitching in small irregular movements.

He watched a little mesmerised as Cas clenched his thighs, and let his hips jut from side to side.

A sound from Cas regained his attention and Sam cleared his throat.

“You’re going to heal the ache in your jaw.”

Cas started to lean back, to drop Sam’s cock from his mouth and protest probably, he didn’t usually make use of his grace-gifts during a scene.

Sam took hold of his harness and didn’t let him move.

“No negotiations, I’m not done yet and I don’t want you to end up in pain. If you really don’t want to, we can stop the scene early?” he worded it as a challenge and Cas’s eyes lit up at the implication.

Sam felt the small buzz of grace through the skin of Cas’s lips and it tingled down the length of his cock. He swore and as the sensation stopped he pressed the increase button again.

Cas groaned, a full heady noise right from the back of his throat.

Two more levels to go until it was on its highest.

He didn’t really have any more work to do, and he was struggling to concentrate now anyway, he slowly went through the motions of shutting down programmes and checking his emails one last time and then sat back to just… enjoy being with Cas.

He watched Cas, all bound up and on his knees, lips spread wide, eyes half closed in concentration and realised how peaceful he looked. But more than that, how attractive he was.

Sam didn’t think it was purely physical either, there was a sincerity about him that leaked out and coalesced around his being. An aura of fierceness and kindness mixed up together in the cut of his jaw and the clear gaze of his eyes.

He watched until Cas flicked his eyes up and they stared at each other for long moments. Sam smiled, Cas blinked. It was so good to be near him, to feel connected, to take time to let his walls down and just be Sam.

Cas shifted his weight a little, and Sam cock got massaged by his tongue as he settled. Sam groaned. He was warm, and had been warm for quite some time now, it was hard to ignore the way his blood wanted to speed up and spread to his groin, it was taking concentration to keep his arousal at bay.

Cas was drooling more and Sam leaned sideways to see Cas’s cock was also leaking precome in a steady stream, an erection very much present and pushing up the sweatpants clinging to Cas’s hips.

He flicked the down button again, and watched Cas visibly relax. All the hard lines of his muscles smoothing out.

It was mesmerising. He flicked up again, and watched everything tense, and clicked it down again just to see it drain away - though it took a little longer that time.

“Doing great Cas,” he said. “Doing everything you should be.”

He flicked down again and Sam heard the vibrations almost disappear they got so quiet, only one away from being at their lowest.

“Do you feel good?”

Cas moaned, presumably a yes, and looked up again.

“I feel good too.” Sam tilted his head and smiled. “Done with my work as well,” he continued.

Cas pressed his tongue up against the shaft of his cock, and dragged it backwards towards the head. Sam took a sharp intake of breath.

“Not yet,” he said, “I think I’d like to watch you for a while.”

Cas closed his eyes and gave half a nod.

Sam lifted a foot to rub at the hard-on Cas was sporting, feeling the firm line of it with the sole of his foot. Cas tilted his hips away, moaning at the contact.

Sam grinned, and felt the mischief written on his own face as he grasped the rope harness and pulled Cas back into place.

“Is it giving you trouble?” he asked, teasing. “Is it making you want to let go?”

Cas glared at him and nodded.

Sam kept a firm hold on the rope in his hand, preventing Cas from twisting away, and rubbed and nudged his foot against Cas’s groin. He even wiggled his foot down and between Cas’s legs to knock against his swollen balls.

Cas made a distressed sound at that and Sam let him be.

Time to just watch.

He flicked the remote again, seeing how Cas tensed and leaned forward all over again pushing his nose nearer to Sam’s belly.

The sensation around his cock was silky delight.

He went on for long minutes, flicking up and down as randomly as he could, sometimes leaving Cas to get used to a sensation for a longer period of time, sometimes flicking through them with barely time for him to gasp.

It wasn’t long before Cas was groaning and straining. He looked up at Sam with pleading eyes.

“Need to come?”

Cas nodded, groaning again. It had been hard won against the sight before him but Sam had remained almost completely soft the entire time, only a slight swelling any indication that he had had a wet heat around his cock for the best part of an hour.

“Okay, you can get me hard now.” Sam said, lifting a hand to caress Cas’s cheek.

Cas didn’t waste any time, licking and suckling in the most eager display Sam had ever seen. Pleasure rolled over Sam in a wave and he gripped the arms of his chair with a shout.

He tried to calm his heartbeat and focus but it was difficult with the ministrations Cas was exerting onto his cock.

“Don’t make me come yet,” he gasped. He flicked the down button twice in quick succession and Cas rocked back at the loss of stimulation, whimpering.

“Move for me,” Sam instructed.

After a pause, a few seconds of deep breaths, Cas did. He dipped his head and then pulled back again and Sam got lost in the feel of it. Just as Cas set a consistent pace, Sam pressed “up” again and Cas yelled - the vibrations making Sam’s cock want to release right then and there.

“Hold!” he yelled.

He watched Cas stop moving all at once, sweat beading on his brow and his eyes squeezed shut. Sam held his face gently until blue eyes opened to meet his own.

“Do you know how brilliant you are?”

Cas flushed darker, eyes sparkling with unshed tears, Sam’s cock buried halfway in his throat. Sam pet him, stroked his head and brushed the shell of his ear.

“Perfect,” he whispered. “In a minute I’m going to turn this back up,” he waved the remote, “But I want to come now, so you can make me come, try and hold yours back though, okay?”

It wasn’t an exact rule, it was a request, but if Sam knew Cas as well as he thought he did he thought he’d manage to comply.

He watched Cas steady himself, and waited for the perfect moment, just as Cas seemed almost prepared Sam pressed the up button until the plug was one setting away from the highest.

Cas whined, and threw himself at his work, suckling and licking and swallowing around Sam’s cock. Sam let his hips stutter, let his eyes roll, let himself feel every part of Cas’s tongue and mouth and throat. He let himself listen to the urgent moans and gasps as Cas jolted and bobbed, trying to get Sam off before his own cock betrayed him.

Sam let go and came in hot spurts. Cas was almost deep throating him, nose practically pressed to his belly. He gurgled and swallowed, rocking back an inch or so to breathe.

Sam relaxed, limp and humming.

“Thank you, needed that,” he croaked. “Needed you, you were amazing.”

Cas pulled off with a pop, nodding, eyes half closed. Sam could hear the buzzing, could feel palpable need rolling off Cas.

“Ready for yours?”

“Please, can’t go on.”

“I’ve got you.”

He took hold of Cas under the armpits and lifted him to his feet. Cas was unsteady, leaning into Sam with half his weight.

Sam maneuvered them backwards until he could guide Cas down on the bed. Laid on his back Cas’s arms were trapped beneath his body but it wouldn’t be for long. Sam knew Cas would come screaming in a short space of time — he’d been on edge for over an hour after all.

Sam ripped the sweatpants away and Cas shivered, and pushed with his heels to get further onto the bed.

“Sam please, please, say I can come.”

“Almost, little more, just a little more.”

Cas whimpered, full of need, begging wordlessly and probably completely involuntarily.

Sam eased his legs open and slid into place between them.

“Look at this,” he said, and tapped the end of the plug. Cas jerked violently.

“Kind of hard, from up here,” Cas gasped.

“Let me describe it to you.” Sam leaned in and bit Cas on the ass, sucking at the bite mark before pulling away.

“Sam!”

“The plug looks wonderful, nestled there, made for you.” Sam rubbed his face against the inside of Cas’s thigh, hands resting high on his hips. “Want to know what the final setting feels like?”

He looked up to find Cas with tears brimming in his eyes, shaking his head.

“Cas?”

“So much, can’t hold on, please. Sam, I don’t want to, I don’t want to.”

The use of the words ‘don’t want’, rather than can’t, grabbed Sam’s attention. Cas was at breaking point.

“If I turn it up you can come,” he said gently.

Cas groaned, head falling back, hips raising off the bed.

“Please.”

Sam slid forward, placing one hand tantalisingly close to Castiel’s cock and his mouth near enough to blow hot breath on his entrance. The remote was in his other hand and he clicked “up” one last time.

Cas bowed off the bed, jaw clenched in a cut off scream. Sam watched for half a heart beat and moved forward, he sucked at Cas’s balls, drawing them one after the other into his mouth while his hand drew feather light touches down Cas’s cock.

The onslaught tipped Cas over the edge in seconds and Sam worked his hands and his mouth and wrung every last drop from the angel, not letting up until Cas mewled in need. The plug got switched off and hastily removed, Sam getting rid of the solid weight of it quickly rather than drawing out any over stimulation.

“How did that feel?” Sam asked, dragging himself upright to fiddle with the harness. He made short work of untwining the ropes and let the knot work fall away.

Cas was breathing hard, chest heaving, all he managed was a nod.

Sam slowly rubbed each limb, leaving his hands folded neatly on his chest, and then let him be. He laid next to Cas for a long time, just letting their breaths fall into synch with each other.

He picked up Castiel’s hand and entwined their fingers.

“Thank you.”

Cas turned a quizzical eye to him, eyebrow quirked.

“I think I needed that as much as you did.” Sam said, owning it, loving it. “Being close with you, it keeps me here, keeps me focused.”

“I’m glad.” Cas replied with a smile.

“Was it alright?” Sam didn’t know why he needed the reassurance. “I didn’t push too hard?”

“Did you see me safe signal?”

“No.” Sam admitted.

“It was… sublime.”

“Sublime, huh?” Sam pushed up onto an elbow, “that’s high praise.”

“Not untrue, did you see how hard I came?”

Sam laughed.

“You did so well.” He kissed Cas’s jaw. “You were perfectly here, perfectly in your body.” He paused his kissing to look up at Cas. “You were, weren’t you?”

“I was, I couldn’t think past… everything. There wasn’t room to consider other things.”

“You did everything you should have, you followed all your rules. You were flawless.”

Sam rolled halfway on top of Cas to reach more skin, to feel more of him, to get nearer.

“Thank you.”

“No, I mean it, hear me and know it.” Sam looked intently into his eyes. “You put your all into everything, you let the world — and our mission — wring you dry and you don’t complain. And then you give me everything, every bit of yourself you give over. It is a powerful thing.”

Cas closed his eyes, and lifted a hand to cup Sam’s head, fingers catching in his hair.

“I feel so lost so often.” he whispered.

“You’re here, I’m here, you are not a failure, you don’t fail with me.”

Cas didn’t speak his thanks but licked it into Sam’s mouth. Hands curled tight to draw him in. Sam let him take everything he needed, used his body to bracket Cas and shield him from the world.

The ropes got pushed off the bed, and plug put aside to deal with later. Sam pulled Cas into his arms and held on.

 


 

 

Later, Sam dragged them both to the showers, using strong hands to steer Cas down the corridors.

“I could do this more quickly,” Cas grumbled.

“Not the point.”

“Showers take so long.”

“That’s why it’s more fun with two.” Sam grinned. “Let me do this, I need it, you should need it, angel powers be damned you need to let this wrap up properly.”

Cas acquiesced with a put upon sigh, but he smiled, and left his head cradled on Sam’s shoulder.

“I won’t put up with a bratty sub you know.” Sam teased, poking his side. “No matter how good a blow job you give.”

Cas let Sam wash them both, and standing behind him and running sudsy hands across the planes of his stomach and chest Sam rubbed away the remaining marks left by the ropes. He curled Cas’s hands in his own and and kissed each wet finger, before turning Cas around and surging in for a proper kiss, a long and slow exploration of their mouths. No one in charge, no one taking more than they gave.

Sam smiled as a tussle headed Castiel let himself be led back to the bedroom, swaying on his feet slightly. He smiled even more when he realised he’d had two showers in as many hours and he didn’t even care, what was usually a chore and a rush, became a pleasant way to spend time when he did it with Cas.

Sam curled up on the bed against the headboard and Cas hesitated before sliding in alongside him.

Sam turned a raised eyebrow to him.

“I’m tired.”

“You…?”

“Not physically, but I feel… weary.”

“Oh. I’m sorry.” Sam pulled him against his chest. “Was it the scene?”

“No, the scene gave me a break, clarity, something else besides,” he waved a hand, “all of this.”

“I feel the same.” Sam hesitated before continuing. “Does it ever feel wrong, to be doing something pleasurable while Dean is out there, subjected to who knows what?”

“Do you think Dean would think badly of us for finding what peace we can in his absence?”

Sam thought about it carefully for a few heartbeats.

“No, I think if it’s not instead of looking for him or a way to expel Michael, he wouldn’t begrudge us anything.”

“And could we have done anymore today, at this hour, to actively pursue him?”

“No.” Sam wanted to cry, there always felt like there should be more to try and do.

“Then let me give you your own advice,” Cas replied with a smirk, “There is no wrong way to feel, but it doesn’t mean what you feel is true.”

Sam smiled, and nudged him. “Thank you.”

“Anytime, but I should let you sleep.”

“Could you help me to?” he didn’t ask often, and it felt wrong to abandon Cas to a long night alone, but his exhausted mind needed rest.

“Of course.”

“But, stay, I need you to stay, I need you to know you can be near me, after-”

“I know, and I will.”

 


 

 

The next morning Sam rose early, and spotted Cas’s clothes in a pile near the dresser.

He took the angel’s hand and pulled him out of bed.

“Time to put you back in one piece,” he said, Cas’s naked body was a treat but it wouldn’t get them far through the day.

“I can do that.”

“Let me,” Sam insisted.

He dressed Cas slowly, letting his hands trail and move with ease. He smoothed out each piece of clothing, and studiously fastened each button, he massaged Cas’s feet before slipping on socks and shoes.

“This, this is who you are,” he said, using long fingers to comb Cas’s impressive bed head into some semblance of normality. “You are resilient, and a fighter, and a caring friend, and a confidant, and a long suffering listener to all of my brothers bad singing, and a father figure, and a whole person with a whole life.”

“I’m an angel, Sam.” Cas began to say.

“And so much more, you mean more than I know you can even comprehend.”

“Hmm, and your point?”

“I love this version of you, more than any version we have in this room, this whole and complete individual. And I need you to know that no matter what happens, you have not failed, failure has no part of who you are.”

“I’ll believe it more once we find Dean.”

“Okay. Try and believe it now too, and not throw yourself on the flames just to feel useful, please.”

Cas kissed him and Sam took it as a promise.

Before he helped Cas into the arms of his coat, his last piece of armour for the outside world, he paused catching Cas’s chin.

“But anytime you need to forget all that, we have this. Because I like the people we get to be here too.”

Cas took his coat from Sam’s hands and folded it in between their bodies. He picked at a loose button and pulled at the halfway unravelled thread.

“Stop that, you’ll ruin it.” Sam said.

“I could never ruin this, you’d just put us back together.”

“Come on, coffee, there’s not enough metaphors in the world to make me forget I need coffee.” Sam said with a wink, but he ran his hands through Cas’s hair one last time before they left the room, and kissed him on the cheek as he pulled open the door.

Chapter Text

Sam dropped onto the motel room bed with a thunk. Gravity felt heavier with every step and he could hardly remember being more glad to get off his feet. Cas followed him in and quietly shut the door; dropping his coat onto a nearby chair he surveyed Sam from across the room.

“What?”

Cas shrugged, smiled, and wandered to the bathroom and checked the facilities. Sam watched him explore, poking his nose into cupboards and flicking on, and then off, the light switches and air conditioning.

“Looking for something in particular?”

Cas shrugged again and shook his head, “This seems adequate.”

“Adequate for what?”

“A sojourn from the usual.”

Sam blinked, looking around at the somewhat shabby room. It at least wasn’t shades of puce and brown, but other than that it was like every room he’d ever stayed in.

“It’s a pretty typical room… isn’t it?”

“Yes, but we haven’t had a night away from the bunker in weeks, so a change is as good as a rest — or so they say.”

“The elusive “they” always sticking their nose into things.”

Sam ordered food and ate quickly, barely savouring it. The conversation was nice though, quiet and low, just the two of them. The buzz of his phone was the only annoying interruption and he answered each call with resigned defeat.

There was always something, or someone, demanding his attention. He hadn’t felt so mentally exhausted in years. He’d thought it would get easier with Dean back, but he hadn’t counted on Dean squirrelling himself away in his room, only adding to the list of unknowable things to fix.

Finally, when the leftover food was cold and congealing, and Sam was staring at the tabletop in defeat, Cas snatched his phone out of his hands and answered it himself.

“This is Castiel…. Yes, mmhhmm, Sam is unavailable.”

Sam squinted at him with bemusement when Cas waved him off, standing and turning away.

“I’m sure you can manage the problem until we get back tomorrow, if not, call Bobby or check in with Rowena… No, he will be away from his phone for the remainder of the evening… Yes, he’s not feeling well and needs to rest. Good, you take care of that.”

Cas made a show of turning his phone off and dropping it on the table with a glare.

“Did you just lie to a bunch of people on my behalf?” Sam asked.

“I gave them the relevant information, you do need a break. Why else do you think we’re out here?”

“For the case for one thing, and…” realisation suddenly dawned on him in a heartbeat. “We didn’t need to be the ones taking this case did we? Other people would have been available?”

“Yes, well getting a Winchester to listen to reason isn’t always easy, sometimes it involves bending the truth a little bit.”

“Hah, so you did lie!”

“What are you going to do about it?”

Sam grinned, standing up and stretching. Cas had organised an entire evening for them to get some peace and quiet. Sam had half hoped they’d get chance to do something but when the case wrapped up early he’d been resigned to driving back to Laurence. Cas had insisted, Cas had convinced him.

“Well you can start by being very good and doing exactly as I say. Jacket and shoes off, middle of the bed, wait.” Sam pointed but didn’t hang around to see if Cas did so, there was no reason to. Cas was eager for some alone time, so alone time he would get.

He freshened up in the bathroom, grabbing a drink of water and quickly brushing his teeth. He shifted in his clothes and rolled his neck. He didn’t know what they would do exactly, but he had his starting point ready to go and he’d take it from there. Removing his shirt (and undershirt, and tanktop) was easy enough, leaving them in a pile on the bathroom floor.

He walked back into the room shirtless, pants slung low on his hips and busied himself about the room. Mindless unnecessary tidying with the opportunity to have his back to Cas taken at every chance.

When he finally turned to survey his… prey. Why that word had sprung to mind he ignored, but he found Cas kneeling on his heels in the middle of the bed, stock still but a contained energy that radiated outwards. It caught Sam in its wake, Cas’s intense gaze like a lit fuse, and he shivered a little. Cas watched him eagerly, with a little tilt of his head that Sam knew meant he had Cas’s full attention.

“See something you like?”

Cas hummed, a little agreement, not moving from the place Sam had directed him. Sam smiled, fingers catching on the waistband of his slacks. He unpopped the button and eased the zipper down, letting his hands hug his hips as he pushed the trousers aside and lower. Low enough for Cas to see the dark purple lacy panties he was sporting.

Cas’s mouth dropped open, his eyes widening as his chest rose and fell in heavy breaths.

And that was exactly the reaction Sam was hoping for. He stepped out of his pants and kicked them aside.

“What about now? Is this what you’ve been wanting?”

“Sam…” Cas muttered, leaning forwards.

“Ah, ah, no moving.”

Cas swallowed, nodding, eyes glued to Sam’s crotch. Sam rubbed a thumb along the bulge of his cock, tilting his hips forward slightly.

“Have you… have you been wearing them all day?” Cas asked.

“Yeah.”

“Even while we… we spoke to those families? While you were undercover?”

“Yep.” Sam grinned, and Cas moaned. “Just for you. Wanna touch?”

Cas flicked his eyes up to Sam, looking for permission to move. Sam stepped forward until he stood at the foot of the bed.

“Come ‘ere.”

Cas leaned forward, half crawling, to scoot to the edge and looked up at Sam.

“Why do you like them so much?” Sam asked.

“I’m not sure, the idea just… it just does something for me.”

“Well, that’s why I wore them. Go ahead and see what they feel like.”

Cas sat back on his heels and tentatively lifted both hands, reaching up to place one on either side of Sam’s hips. He rubbed his thumbs over the soft fabric and slipped his forefingers inside the elastic to rub it between his fingertips. Sam smiled, seeing the look of pure indulgence and wonder on his face, and smiled wider when he saw the bulge in Cas’s trousers.

Cas’s hands travelled round his ass, lightly pressing on all of the lacy design covering his cheeks. He gasped as Cas’s hands squeezed him through the underwear and shot out a hand to steady himself on Cas’s head. Cas looked up at him with hooded eyes, licking his lips.

“Want to see what they really feel like?” he asked.

Cas nodded, leaning in, and his tongue poked out and dragged a long hot stripe up the bulge of Sam’s panty-enclosed cock. He threw his head back and moaned at the same time Cas groaned with a guttural note and shuffled closer.

“Get your mouth on me Cas, now.” Sam growled.

Cas didn’t waste time, kissing and suckling, and pulling the fabric between his lips and teeth before letting it snap back into place. He worked teasingly slowly, so interested in exploring every inch with both his tongue, his lips, and his hands. Sam lightly rested his hands on Cas’s shoulders and let him nuzzle and caress for a long time.

He was leaking pre-come under Cas’s soft, continuous touches, arching into the heat of Cas’s mouth and huffing in frustration when Cas would move to rub or fondle across his hips bones or thighs instead.

“More.”

Cas looked up with a smile and enveloped Sam’s cock through the material, mouthing and sucking at the hardened length, and drew his hands under to cup Sam’s balls. Sam watched from above as Cas rolled his cock and balls in his palm and licked and kissed everywhere between his legs. It still wasn’t enough though, and without thinking he grabbed for the back of Cas’s head and pulled Cas where he wanted him to go.

He held Cas in place to suck at the soaked through panties that stretched over the head of his cock, shoving forward a little to drive his clothed cock part way into Cas’s mouth. Cas moaned, eyes closing in pleasure and Sam hauled him down the length of his cock, he left his mouth open and breathed hot breath all the way down to Sam’s balls.

Sam was stood with his legs parted, knees bent, and his back protested. He shoved forward into Cas’s face, “Lick, more, quickly.”

Cas laved his tongue over every inch of fabric as Sam directed him with sharp tugs, gripping his hair and the back of his neck. Cas whined, high and long but was utterly plaint. He was panting harshly between mewling sounds, and Sam felt his release powering towards him.

“Enough,” he gasped, using Cas’s shoulders to push him away. Cas fell back on to the bed, arms splayed wide, eyes glassy.

They looked at each other for long moments and Cas broke first.

“Please, Sam, please let me touch you. I want to make you come, please.”

Sam cupped his own cock, feeling the weight of the hard length, how hot and throbbing it was. Cas whimpered, leaning up on his elbows.

“You’re very vocal right now,” he chastised Cas.

Cas only nodded, drawing a ragged breath. “I want to, I want to make you happy.”

“Seems like it’s a little self serving though, isn’t it? You just want to get your mouth all over these.” he stretched the lace out from around his thigh and watched Cas’s eyes follow the movement. “You know you’ve utterly ruined them? They’re completely soaked through.”

Cas gulped, wetting his top lip.

“I’ll admit some of it was me, but you made me leak.” he tsked and lowered one knee to the bed. “Tell me, what do you think I should do with you for dirtying things up without explicit permission?” he wasn’t sure where this teasing, slightly harsh tone was coming from. His instincts had taken over and he wasn’t about to ignore them. The way Cas looked so blown away made Sam want to keep pulling him apart, it crowded out any other thought in his head.

“Whatever you… whatever you think is best,” Cas replied, eyes still firmly locked on Sam’s crotch.

“Hey, look at me.”

Cas looked up, startled. His mouth still parted, pink lipped and inviting.

“You’re desperate for more aren’t you?” Sam said, an idea forming. “And you’ve been awfully whiny, and made such a mess.”

Cas licked his lips, sinking a little lower to the bed.

“I think if you want these so much they should go where you’ve been trying to get them this whole time.”

He waited a beat, to watch how Cas reacted, and saw only a slight dilation in his pupils. Somewhere between leaving him alone on the bed and now, Cas had realised they were playing and dampened his powers, and he must have been into it as there was no sign of a crackle of grace in the air.

“Don’t move a muscle.”

Cas nodded and his eyes tracked every careful movement as Sam drew the underwear slowly down over his ass, caressing his own thighs as he slipped them off, moaning at the tiny bit of friction as it dragged over his cock. He stepped out of them, climbed slowly onto the bed, and bracketed Cas with his body. With the pants scrunched in one fist he kissed Cas on the lips and laughed against his mouth.

“Sam?”

“You’re so eager!” he looked aside to where Cas’s hand had moved to grip the forearm of the hand holding the purple lace. Cas went wide eyed and dropped his hand immediately.

“Behave, I know you can follow instructions better than this.”

“I’m sorry, I’ll do better,” Cas said, nuzzling against Sam’s neck.

“Let’s start with shutting you up, hmm? Open wide.”

With one thumb he drew Cas’s lips apart and methodically stuffed his ruined panties into a muffling, tight, and bulging gag that filled Cas’s mouth. Cas made small, protesting noises, his adam’s apple bobbing as he tried to swallow and couldn’t. The material had already grown even darker, more wet with spit now and looking almost black in places. Cas had his mouth uncomfortably wide, lips spread thin, and his eyes watched Sam with something that looked a little like fear.

Sam frowned, asking without words if Cas was okay, his expression broke briefly as his eyes softened and he nodded, winking. So, just playing along then. Sam smirked, and covered the material hanging from Cas’s mouth with his palm.

“Feel free to yell as much as you want.”

He went back to kissing around Cas’s mouth and jaw, trailing down his neck and nuzzling up behind his ear. Revelling in every tiny sound and every tight drawn muscle he could feel in the body bellow him. He let his weight rest more fully onto Cas, pinning him beneath his own body, nudging Cas’s knees apart and flinging one leg over Cas’s so he couldn’t draw them back together.

His hands roamed and gripped bruisingly hard, fisting Cas’s clothes and tugging and shoving. Cas shifted and bucked beneath him, probably involuntarily and it made Sam harder. The contained bulk of Cas entirely under his own body, his hands holding down and his mouth sucking him under, filled up every sense and every thought.

He bit at Cas’s earlobe and Cas roared, panting harshly, gag spittle wet and clenched between his teeth.

“I’m going to ruin you like you ruined those panties,” he whispered into Cas’s ear. “I’m going to own every single tiny inch of you and you can’t do a thing to stop me.”

He leaned back and looked into Cas’s eyes, using his hand to lightly cup Cas’s throat, holding his head still. Cas groaned, urgently, squirming. Trying to wiggle away or draw closer and Sam closed his hand more tightly around his throat.

“None of that, not a muscle remember, not an inch.”

Cas stilled, and Sam got to work.

Slowly, bit by bit, he pushed aside Cas’s clothes. Kissing and squeezing his way passed every muscle, licking and touching every inch of skin he exposed. Cas groaned at every sensation, sucking in air through his nose at each new flash of skin to the cooler air.

Sam took his time, pressing all his weight on Cas and holding him down.

“So good for me, you taste so good.”

He didn’t stop until he had Cas’s shirt unbuttoned and pushed halfway of down his arms, limiting their movement, and the undershirt pushed up and over his head to pull his shoulders up as it scrunched around his neck.

“Never seen you laid out so pretty, all for me.”

The trousers and underwear were yanked down below his ass, so all his midriff was bare and jolting under Sam’s touch.

“You’re perfect, so sensitive.”

He watched Cas’s face at each new shift for distress, but saw nothing that indicated he should stop.

He kissed his way down Cas’s hips bones, using his own broad hands to pin Cas into stillness. Cas moaned and made muffled pleas. The noise went straight to Sam’s cock.

“Begging huh? Can’t make me believe you don’t want this, I mean look at you.”

He flicked one finger against the tip of Cas’s leaking cock, enjoying the way Cas bucked and yelled.

“How’s it feel, Cas?” he looked up into wide blown eyes and surveyed the gag still dutifully clenched between bulging cheeks. “Are you begging for more or for me to stop? Do you have any idea how filthy it is that you’re turned on with my soaked panties stuffing you up?”

Cas made throaty noises, arching his hips, trying to pull away. Sam straddled him and caught his face, looking, checking. Cas nodded.

“I’m going to take you now, all of you, you can’t hide from me and I don’t want you to.”

Cas lifted his arms and Sam pinned them back to the bed, with a tut. “If you’re good I’ll let you come quickly.”

Cas froze and mewled.

He framed Cas’s waist with his hands before dragging them lower and settling over his hips.

“Bet you can’t wait to get fucked can you, you’re dripping for it. I could you know, I could lay you down and spread you open and fill you up.”

He kissed his way down Cas’s iliac crest, nuzzled at the inside of Cas’s thighs, and finally, finally, paid attention to the swollen and blood hot cock.

“But I think this might be better, I think I like watching you succumb to all this when I’ve barely even touched you. I mean look at you, you’re not even undressed, you just let me expose you and it’s almost enough to push you to the edge.”

He looked up with a wicked grin, “Let’s take you all the way shall we?”

He kissed, licked, and swallowed Cas down.

It didn’t take long, he had Cas completely at his mercy. He bobbed his head a few times before sticking his own fingers in alongside Cas’s cock and getting them nice and slick. Fondling Cas’s balls with one hand he slipped the other back and massaged and teased Cas’s entrance with spit wet fingers.

Cas came screaming, thrusting into the wet heat of Sam’s mouth while his whole body locked up in pleasure.

 


 

 

When it was done Sam slowly eased Cas out of the rest of his clothes. Shucking the trousers away and gently lifting his arms out of the sleeves of both shirts. He kissed Cas once on each closed eyelid and then eased the screwed up panty gag from his mouth. He caressed Cas’s chest and shoulders with light comforting touches and waited for Cas to open his eyes.

“Hey,” he said quietly, when Cas finally looked at him. “Good?”

“Great.”

“I’m glad you liked it, I feel weird that we didn’t talk about the role play beforehand.”

“I wanted you get a break and do something intense with me to blow off steam, and you did, though I am a little… bemused.”

“Bemused? That’s not exactly a reaction I was going for,” he laughed.

“I thought I’d be the one giving you pleasure, not the other way around.”

“You did give me pleasure, just because I didn’t come doesn’t mean I didn’t enjoy it.”

Cas quirked an eyebrow at him.

“Seeing you come apart, come undone like that, just from what I did to you… it drove every other thought from my head. There was just you, just us. It’s exactly what I needed.”

“I could still return the favor?” Cas said, raising his head to nip at Sam’s jaw.

Sam gripped his face, holding him steady, “No, you will do nothing of the sort. I don’t give you permission. I want you just like this, not going anywhere, not doing anything.”

He yanked Cas close, shifting them until they were both laid comfortably naked on the bed.

Cas didn’t respond, but sighed contentedly into Sam’s heated skin.

“I was a little worried this wouldn’t give you enough of a distraction, but it seems I was mistaken.”

“Are you kidding I loved it, I love you.”

Sam’s heart lurched at the words he’d just spoken, he felt Cas stiffen and try to pull away. He hugged harder, pressing Cas into his chest while he turned red - so hot he could feel it. It wasn’t the way he would have chosen to say it, he hadn’t even thought about saying it it had just slipped out.

“Sam,” came a muffled voice.

He released his hold and instead rubbed at his own face, hiding behind his hands.

“Don’t hide from me.”

Sam groaned, laughing, shaking, utterly confused. He couldn’t ignore that request though. It didn’t even sound like a request it sounded like an order.

He looked at Cas and smiled weakly. “Did I just ruin everything?”

“On the contrary, I think you just improved everything.”

Cas kissed him, looked into his eyes with such a contented smile for long enough that Sam didn’t mind that nothing more was said. Then he nuzzled in, pushed Sam around until Sam was the big spoon and drew Sam’s arm over his waist.

Sam breathed in his scent, and fell asleep curled around Cas. Nothing plagued him, he felt peaceful for the first time in weeks.

Chapter Text

Sam paced. He was restless. God, he felt like he’d been restless for days, or weeks? Was it weeks?

Dean was with Cas right now, doing… whatever it was they did. Dean had been fine, happily excited actually, at finding out Sam and Cas had developed a bond, a relationship — if Sam was feeling brave enough to think of it that way. He’d have to get brave enough, he’d already said the L-word after all.

There were still things though, things he couldn't bring himself to do for Cas, that Cas needed.

So, Dean had offered to continue to help Cas out. And that was fine, good even, they already had their dynamic worked out and Sam could sit back and know Cas had everything he needed… and maybe just a little more than he needed because he had Sam’s love now too. 

But Cas was there getting hurt right now, and yeah, Cas wanted it and craved it and felt better for it and Dean knew exactly what he was doing. But Sam wasn’t there, and he felt like he should be, that he should be able to do this for Cas - to help him though it. Pain just… it wasn’t his thing. Spankings he could handle, but anything more rankled his nerves too much. And it should be fine Cas was getting his needs and wants met, safely at that, but Sam wasn’t there and his mind just kept racing, telling him he was failing somehow.

He had to get over this, they’d both said it was alright, they laughed and joked and Dean put Cas in a head lock — more accurately, Cas let Dean put him in a headlock — and marched him off, both with big smiles on their faces. It was only Sam was sat here stewing in his own worries and needless guilt and… he had to get over this.

He sat down, and opened a book, and pretended to read for the next thirty minutes.

The soft knock at his door let him know they were done about three seconds before it opened, and Dean shouldered it open and muscled a dopey, half asleep angel into Sam’s room.

“Special delivery, one blissed out angel for ya.” 

Cas grinned with his eyes half closed and nudged Dean with his elbow. Dean ruffled his hair and Cas grunted in annoyance. “You good, buddy?”

Cas shook himself, and his eyes glowed brightly for half a second before he straightened. “Yes, thank you Dean.”

“Good, good. He’s all yours.” Dean winked and shut the door behind him.

Sam walked over, as unhurriedly as he could, and gripped Cas’s shoulders. And smiled. Cas smiled back, and leant into the offered hug.

“Good… umm good session?”

“Very, Dean is… precise.”

“Okay, that’s great. So…” this they hadn’t perfected yet, this hand over from one to the other and it was becoming glaringly obvious that he didn’t know what to do or say and he was going to make it awkward for Cas and he really needed to say something . “What did you do, after?”

“We talked about baseball,” Cas said, pulling away and riffling around to find his shirt. He turned and Sam saw half-healed red welts across Cas’s back that looked a few days old.

“Hey! Hey, what’s that, what’s going on? Are you okay? Could you not heal?”

Cas turned, and placed his hand over the top of Sam’s where Sam had grabbed for Cas’s waistband to pull him close. 

“The whole point is to feel the pain, I healed to where I needed, the rest will heal in time. Like it would for a human.” 

“Oh.” Right. Cas wanted to know he’d achieved what he wanted to achieve. “I’m… glad?” He laughed nervously.

“Touch them,” Cas said, turning his back.

“What, no!”

“Please?” Cas looked coyly over his shoulder and raised an eyebrow. Sam couldn’t resist that look. He tentatively stroked a hand down Cas’s back and Cas shuddered, closing his eyes and smiling. So, that was a good reaction.

Sam gathered him up in a back to front hug. “You said something about baseball?” He said into the back of Cas’s hair.

“Mmm, yes. Dean likes to talk, so he told me the rules. They just don’t seem important enough to retain, I’m sure he’s told me at least five times before now.”

“And, that’s it? Do you, I mean do you hold each other or…”

“We sit close, so Dean can be tactile. It’s not exactly cuddling.”

“So, would you like that now, instead?”

Cas kissed the edge of Sam’s mouth and practically threw himself on the bed. So, that answered that.

 


 

He couldn’t very well ask or expect Cas to do two scenes back to back and, frankly, he’d been nervous to do any scene with Cas since the outcome of the last one. What if he had more secret confessions that would only make themselves known when he had exhausted and satisfied them both? 

There hadn’t been much time, either, which helped. Keeping busy meant avoiding the awkward situation that he’d said I love you without warning. But now… now he had a need that nothing else would satisfy. He just had to be careful, that was all. Take it slow, be less than he had last time, so Cas didn’t feel obligated to do, well, anything. He’d put the idea to Cas and they were both prepared. The bunker was practically empty, they were as alone as they were going to get.

So why was he nervous? This was going to be simple, you could barely even call it a scene. They just needed some physical proximity, that was the plan and it made sense, it was nothing complicated. Last time didn’t go entirely to plan. That was it. That was why. Shit. He had to keep this together.

Sparring practice was the idea; to work out some frustrations, loosen up some muscles. They’d both been more or less fighting from the back lately, so to speak. There hadn’t been much actual fighting to do. So some time to work out a little, to get back into the groove sounded like something he needed. And Cas? Well Cas didn’t lose muscle mass or strength like a person would, but he’d agreed it would be informative and enjoyable to see what Sam needed to do, and to participate like a beginner, under Sam’s guidance.

It sounded good, a straight forward exchange of power. Sam would be the teacher, the instructor, Cas would be his willing student.

God, he hoped Cas was willing.

He cleared his throat. Be strong. Be calm. Be centred. Be all that Cas needed, none of this second guessing.

The knock at the door of the gym startled him more than it should. He answered it too quickly. But there was Cas with his mild mannered smile and nod of the head, as Sam ushered him inside.

Sam was in his work out clothes, casual, comfortable. Not at all like he was planning on doing anything unusual for a work out session. Cas stood close and brushed fingers the smooth fabric of his plain t-shirt for a moment, running his hand down it, and then pecked a kiss on the edge of Sam’s mouth. Sam smiled. 

“Come in, then.” he gestured Cas further into the room. The door shut, and locked, and he had to suppress the urge to shove a chair under the handle to make sure it was secure. 

Cas inclined his head and moved to unbutton his suit jacket. His coat had been already left elsewhere, a sign Cas was ready to begin. Sam had to put aside his trepidation, if Cas was already this prepared to get going, Sam had to meet him there.

He tried to seem confident, but he kept clearing his throat so much more than usual. His palms felt hot, the back of his neck sweaty. He rubbed unconsciously at his hairline, swiping at a nervous trickle of sweat that he wasn’t sure was even real and not in his imagination.

Cas looked so serene, comparatively. Composed. Fucking gorgeous too, with his hair sticking up and his everything in perfect alignment. Sam was just going to have to fake it ‘til he made it. He was here to spar with Cas, an opportunity to touch and look was all he wanted. And he could do that, right? What could be better?

“We’ll start with the basics. I’ll show you some moves, and some warm up exercises, and we’ll go from there.”

“Of course. You tell me what to do and I’ll do it.”

“Hurry up and get those clothes off then, you can’t train in a suit.” This was supposed to be about some measure of control he tried to remember, he was supposed to get Cas all riled up under the gaze of an authority figure.

“Is there somewhere I should change?” Cas asked, glancing around the room. Right, procedure. He should… subvert expectations. Maybe. Get Cas a little off balance too. That was the point, wasn’t it?

“Just place your things on the stool, your underwear will be fine, I don’t have anything else for you to wear.”

Cas smiled knowingly, and undressed slowly. Sam savoured it. Not least because it gave him time to recalibrate. He was in charge here, Cas was letting him be in charge, he had to honour that and do it right. Cas turned away, at the last second, to place his clothes to the side and Sam took it as his cue.

For the right moment for the first touch. Not the first in a while, or even today, but the first in this.

He stepped up behind Cas, placing one hand on the small of his back and the other on his elbow, guiding him 

Tentatively, he brushed his hands, palm pressed flush to skin, down the outside of Cas’s arms. Down past the elbow — which he stopped to squeeze — to Cas’s own hands which he lifted to look at. He tapped the centre of Cas’s right palm, and pushed Cas’s fingers into a fist, holding them there. He raised Cas’s arms, watching his left hand also curl into a fist.

“Hmm, a good response. You seem like a natural.”

“I’ve had some encouraging things said to me, my boyfriend in particular is especially praising.”

“Oh, right, well.” Here was that clearing of the throat again. “I’d best see if he’s right then, hadn’t I?”

Cas… called him his boyfriend. Was that just because they were playing, not being themselves? Or was it real? His mind spun, grasping and discarding possibilities. He realised Cas was waiting, looking at him expectantly and he nodded, stepped back and tried to focus.

It was basic enough to guide Cas through stretching and limbering up, easy enough that his mind continued to whir in the background. As they stood side by side on the training mats, moving in tandem and shifting from one set of repetitions to another his over eager mind spun farther out until it just felt like white noise in his head, not even thoughts just impressions and indentations that all crowded together and clouded his ability to stay focused.

Cas was graceful and quiet, watching his every move, nodding at his every instruction. He looked damn delightful with the little frown between his eyes as he concentrated. Sam felt ruffled, Cas had never looked cooler.

“Sam?”

“Mmm?”

“Next?”

Right, focus.

“Yes. Okay, so this one involves stretching your hamstring, good for if you’re going to be running a lot. Sit down, no, not like that — here.” He manhandled Cas into position, guiding him to sit with his legs splayed. “Now, lean over and touch your toes.”

Cas did, marginally. Sam huffed. “You’ll have to do better than that, go slow and ease into it.” 

Sam touched Cas’s back and made sure he didn’t lean too far too soon, guiding him into it. When they were done, and Cas sat back up, Sam stayed behind him, resting his hands on Cas’s shoulders. The solid weight of him was reassuring. Real. 

“You’re a good teacher,” Cas said.

“Mm, I’m glad you think so.” He gulped, pulse jumping, going for it. “My boyfriend is usually pretty good at listening to me anyway.”

“Ah, I should like to meet him, maybe he can give me some tips. I can be a little… headstrong.”

Sam breathed, relieved. They were playing, but also, telling some truths. It was exactly what he needed.

“You just need a firm hand,” he said, moving away.

“Then it's a good job I have you, right?”

He turned back to see Cas looking at him quizzically, expectantly. Cas was asking him to be firmer? 

“That’s what I’m here for, if you’re up for it, yes.” 

“I am entirely at your disposal, do with me what you will. I can take it.”

And fuck, that was an invitation he wanted to take.

They moved on to sparring next, Sam bouncing in the balls of his feet, testing his agility. Cas was heavy set, solid in his movements. He didn’t need to be swift, though he could be — or graceful, though he was — because he had the strength of a small army hidden behind the flesh of his arm; and the power of the heavens at his disposal. So he stood his ground and threw his fists with a disconnect that seemed jarring to Sam because although they landed they looked clumsy.

“You have to strike faster, move your feet.” he darted in, tapped Cas lightly on the ribs and on his chin and sprang away. “I could have knocked you down there.”

“I didn’t know we were aiming to be moving at a pace, I thought perhaps we were only practicing manoeuvres.”

“Why not both? I know you have it in you,” Sam taunted, swiping his brow clear of sweat.

“I shall do my best, then.” 

“I know this is new to you, just don’t overthink it. I got you.”

“You really do,” Cas said with a smile.

Sam gulped, his heart fluttering. He had Cas. He had Cas. They were… one. On the same page, and connected. And Cas was almost… taunting him with it, the gleam in Cas’s eyes letting Sam know that Cas knew he was off kilter about… everything.

There wasn’t time to dwell on it though, as he began to guide Cas through a series of blocks and parries. He was firm and unrelenting, making them practice the same things over and over, as he tried to see if he could make Cas sweat.

But somewhere, in the back of his mind, ideas began to whir. Things he could do to show Cas how thrilled he was. Things he could do to remind Cas that, when given a chance, Sam was in the one who held Cas’s balls in his hands. Sam was his Dom, and that meant… that meant teasing, taunting, and Sam could come with some delicious scenarios.

Cas was beautiful, and he’d look even more beautiful writhing under Sam’s hands, stuck on Sam’s fingers or even his cock, thrashing on the sheets. Giving himself over to Sam so completely.

Sam moved too quickly, too caught up in his thoughts and he slammed into Cas, hard and crushing. Cas stumbled backwards, hands up, and Sam righted himself immediately. He grabbed for Cas’s shoulders, and looked for signs of alarm on Cas’s face.

“Sorry,” he mumbled.

“I’m fine.” Cas frowned at him. “Sam, are you… are you with me?”

“Absolutely.” Sam cleared his throat again.

“You don’t seem like you’re giving me your full attention.”

“I am!” Sam said defensively.

“Alright, then let’s do this.”

Again they began to shift around each other and strike out, and Sam was hyper aware of everything he could do, and wasn’t doing, and wanted to do, and needed to do. It made him clumsy and Cas grabbed for his waist, twisted them both around and shoved Sam until he stumbled backward, only just righting himself in time to avoid falling on his ass.

Cas beamed, straightened his t-shirt, and winked. “Besting the teacher on the first day? That’s got to be a record?”

“You didn’t put me on my ass so I wouldn’t get too cocky yet.”

Cas shrugged, “The day is young.”

“Oh, it’s like that is it?”

Sam moved without further warning, and in two steps he had an armful of Cas, their body’s pressed tight together with Sam’s ankle hooked behind Cas’s knee. He shifted, tilting his weight forward and dragging his leg back, and Cas went down. Before he could get on top of Cas, Cas rolled, turned on the spot, and was back on his feet.

“I suppose that’s one for you,” Cas said, lowering his head slightly to look up at Sam through his lashes.

Sam missed the feel of him in his arms, the touch of their skin where it had seemed to meld together.

“You suppose?” he asked. “You really are cocky.”

“As I understand it, that’s how I’m supposed to be, when I’m winning.”

“Who said you were winning?” Sam said, beginning to circle, and Cas matched his stride.

“Well I’m not losing, and you didn’t get the “drop” on me, maybe you don’t have what it takes?”

Sam bristled, and lunged. Cas did go down that time, he put up no resistance and Sam had him flat on his back in seconds. He stopped in his tracks when he realised Cas had gone limp, and tried to back away. Cas grabbed the front of his shirt and held it in his fists.

“Don’t go, I like this,” Cas said, rolling his hips up and trying to find contact with Sam’s groin.

Sam groaned and arched his back to alleviate the contact. “I don’t think this is a good idea. This wasn’t the plan.”

“I don’t need you to have a plan, just be here with me.”

Cas was flush to his body, their legs tangled, and Sam’s hands braced either side of Cas’s torso. His forearms touched Cas’s midriff where his shirt had ridden up and the heat radiating out made Sam want to close his eyes and just relish the closeness.

He didn’t, he tried to shift away again and Cas put an arm around his waist to stop him.

“Where’s your head Sam?”

“Here?”

“Is it?”

He shifted, lifting a hand to scrub at his face. “I’m just… weighing pros and cons, I guess?”

"Cons about us?” Cas let go, and Sam scooted backwards until they could sit facing each other.

“It’s not like I’m having second thoughts,” he said, hurriedly. “It’s more like… first thoughts? I don’t… I don’t want to do it wrong and cause us to have problems.”

“Has it been wrong so far?”

“No, but—”

“So what’s changed?”

“You know what,” Sam replied, looking at his hands. “I sprang that you, and that wasn’t right, after such an intense session and—”

“Does it seem like I mind?” Cas crawled toward him, head cocked, and practically sat himself in Sam’s lap, his arms twined around Sam’s neck.

Sam blushed.

Sam was blushing like a boy with his first crush. He groaned and put his head on Cas’s shoulder. “No.”

“I know I haven’t said it back yet,” Cas began.

“I don’t need you to!” Sam said quickly, leaning back to look at Cas’s face. “I mean, you’re under no obligation to.”

“Hush, I’m speaking.” Sam nodded and pinched his lips closed. “Good. Where was I? I haven’t said it back yet, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to — or that I won’t want to at some point — human emotions are just… immense. I’m not very practiced at being comfortable with them.”

“I know,” Sam said quietly. “It’s why I didn’t want to pressure you.”

Cas ground his hips down into Sam’s lap, bracing his hands on Sam’s shoulders as he did so. “But that in no way means that I want you to change the parameters of our relationship.”

Oh. Well. He’d been worrying over nothing? “You want to… you still want to be intimate with me?”

His hands somehow found themselves at Cas’s waist, his thumbs teasing in circles while his fingers clung to the fabric of Cas’s shirt. He breathed in and Cas’s scent was strong, musky deep, tickling the back of his nostrils.

“I’d very much like you to do what you always have. If you wouldn’t mind getting your head on straight and paying me proper attention.” Cas slapped Sam’s hands away and moved backwards, putting space between them.

Sam gawped. His mouth actually hanging open as he tried to process Cas’s words, and Cas’s demands. “You… you’ve been goading me?” he accused with a laugh. “Trying to tease out my domineering side!”

“Someone had to, you weren’t doing it yourself,” Cas said, looking extremely proud of himself.

“You couldn’t have just talked to me?”

“Talking seemed to be thing that had got you, as Dean would say, all twisted around. Physical attention seemed like a better way to get you out of your head.”

“Well that worked great, every time you got close I just got more confused about what to do.”

“Are you confused now?” Cas said, shifting and nudging Sam’s leg with his foot.

“No,” Sam growled. He’d wanted to be near Cas for days and had held back, and now he learned there was no reason to? His heart rate picked up, his dick thickened in anticipation, his mouth was dry but he knew he could do this, he knew he could control himself, and that Cas wanted him to take the lead.

He sprang forward and leaned into Cas’s space, putting his face inches from Cas’s own. “But I think someone could use a reminder of who wears the pants around here.”

“You are definitely the only one wearing pants right now,” Cas slid his hips lower until he was laid underneath Sam. “So please, show me what I should be doing.”

Sam tugged at Cas’s waistband, shoved a hand inside Cas’s boxers and palmed his cock. “This is mine, correct?”

Cas gasped, nodding. “All yours.”

Sam placed a hand on the floor, leaning down until Cas was prostrate on his back and he could pin Cas beneath his body. He kissed Cas, roughly, too much teeth and too much pressure until they were both gasping.

The hand in Cas’s shorts he drew back, and circled around and tapped against Cas’s ass. He squeezed, digging his nails in, and then dipped lower, slipping a finger between Cas’s ass and smiled at the way Cas clenched as it circled near his hole. “What about this, angel, you gonna give me this too?”

Cas arched upwards, pushing up on his elbows. “I don’t recall,” he said, nipping at Sam’s ear, “you ever needing to ask. What’s mine is yours. But it can only be yours if you take it.

Sam growled against Cas’s lips and pressed him lower to the floor, kissing and nipping at Cas’s mouth while Cas happily squirmed under his touch. His hands were on Cas’s hips, holding Cas steady, and he nudged a knee up until he felt it press against Cas’s balls and taint. Cas instantly spread his legs and the rush of want that filled Sam all the way up almost made him dizzy.

“Gonna let me have all of you, huh?” Sam said, pulling away to drag his hands up and rucking up Cas’s t-shirt in the process. 

“Yes, all of it, yes. Whatever you want, I’m ready to give.”

Cas let his arms be manoeuvred and Sam pulled the shirt over Cas’s head, tossed it aside and leaned in to lick a stripe up Cas’s neck before nibbling on an earlobe. As he worked Cas over with his tongue he urged Cas to shuffle out of his boxers, before ripping them past his ankles at the last moment in a rush that made Cas jolt.

Cas made a strangled sound and Sam laughed. “What’s the problem, don’t you like me like this?”

“Sam, like this, there’s nothing you couldn’t, that I wouldn’t—”

“Lost for words, is it that easy to get you flustered?”

“When you’re teasing me, yes!”

“Do you want me to stop teasing you? Want me to just take and take and not hold back?”  he kissed the corner of Cas’s mouth and grabbed a handful of Cas’s hair to tilt Cas’s head aside. “Or do you want me to taunt you, Cas? Like you’ve been taunting me?”

Cas made a sound that came out somewhere between a no and a groan and the noise went straight to Sam’s dick. Acting with his body rather than analysing with his mind suddenly seemed like the easiest thing in the world.

He snagged the waist band of his own sweatpants and underwear and ripped them off. His own t-shirt came free in a flurry too and then they were naked and pressed flush together, skin to skin all the way from shoulder to hip. There wasn’t space for hands to touch or caress, but it didn’t matter, every tiny movement jolted every inch of their bodies together.

He smothered Cas even more, holding him tightly.

“I’ll give you what you want, if you tell me what it is you need,” he pulled away and said, thumbing at Cas’s lip and feeling the hot breath pushing past Cas’s open mouth.

“Want you,” Cas replied, arching upwards. He chased Sam’s mouth and grabbed for the back of Sam’s head trying to get it. Sam let him reach his goal and they kissed for long minutes, all easy and smooth, breathless with it.

Sam slowly slid his knee up between Cas’s legs again and they parted for him. He turned to look down his body and smiled. Cas was giving himself over, every single inch; all for Sam.

“I’m going to take you at your word you know, I’m going to take all of you.” He looked into Cas’s eyes and saw only surety and burning desire.

Cas grabbed for his hand and brought Sam’s fingers to his face, parted his lips, and dragged on Sam’s wrist until Sam put two of his fingers into Cas’s mouth and onto his tongue. Sam moaned, the heat around his digits so enticing when Cas closed his mouth and sucked. His tongue laved at Sam’s fingers until they were spit wet and dripping and he extricated them from between Cas’s lips as Cas sighed.

Sam reached down and pressed his wet fingers to Cas’s hole, circled it and pressed forward, testing ground. They’d done some form of this many times, with toys and fingers and tongues, but knowing where this was leading…

He looked into Cas’s eyes as he fingered him open, neither saying a word. He had to pull away momentarily to grab for lube, lube which Cas pointed out was in his jacket pocket. And that gave Sam pause.

“Look at you so cocky, so sure you were going to get me to do this.”

“It’s what I want,” Cas rasped.

“It’s what I want,” Sam replied. “Gonna fill you up so no-one could question that you’re mine. Gonna take this ass and claim it.”

Cas’s head fell back and he nodded, gasping, as Sam’s long fingers spread lube inside his hole.

“Please, Sam, hurry. Come on, please.”

Sam stilled, smirking, knowing he had Cas right where they needed to be. “Oh, you’re not setting the pace here, not anymore.”

Cas whined, rolling his hips and bearing down on Sam’s fingers. 

“No, no, you were very bad trying to goad me into this, I’m going to take all the time I want now. This ass his mine remember, you said that and I know you meant it. So I’m going to do with it whatever I like.”

He pushed Cas’s knees up and aside, “Hold your legs I want to see what’s mine.”

Cas licked his lips, gripped behind his own knees and relaxed his body until he opened up. Sam looked for long seconds, scanning over the expanse of flesh he was about to claim. He had to tear his eyes away to get back to the task at hand, he wanted to drink in every sight, every sound. It was all so much. And Cas was giving it to him, freely and eagerly. It made his heart swell, his skin feel electric. His cock was hard and throbbing, precome decorating the tip. And Cas was right there with him, heaving restless on his back while his cock bobbed between his spread thighs.

Sam groaned, kneading the flesh of Cas’s ass with his knuckles and appreciating the sight of Cas’s clenching hole open and wet and inviting.

“You ready for me?”

“Yes!”

“You ready to be owned, and filled? I’m gonna breed you up Cas, get everything I can inside you so there’s no doubt left for either of us. I want you swollen and heavy with it, so damn full you can’t move.”

“Please, you can, all of it. I want all of you.”

“You’ll get me, you have me.” Sam lathered lube up his cock and rocked into place behind Cas. “You’re perfect like this.”

“Like this?” Cas panted, grinning, gesturing his head at his spread legs.

“Yes,” Sam agreed. “Legs spread and begging for my cock, what could be better?”

He pushed in slow, easing into the space he’d made inside Cas, loving every cling of skin, every of drag of pressure. 

“I’ll beg for anything, just, ahh, Sam, move! Please!”

“Desperate aren’t you?” But he did, he wanted to and he did. He thrust forward and grabbed for Cas’s hip, holding them steady. And then it was easy, it was bliss.

He fucked slow, languidly, making it last. Cas’s legs ended up around his waist and they clasped hands, breathing in tandem. 

“Think you can come without being touched?” Sam asked.

“Nnng!” was all Cas could say in response.

The exercise mat below them grew slippy with sweat and Cas braced one hand on the floor to stop them jolting.

“Cas, look at me.” Only when he had the sparkling blue holding his gaze did he ask, “Do you want to come first, or second?” His own movements grew erratic, hips snapping quicker and shorter, grinding forward in circling motions more than he thrust back and forth.

“After, after you. After I’m yours.”

“Don’t look away,” Sam said.

And Cas didn’t, and he fucked until he came with a burst of a shout, hair falling down as he learnt over Cas. Moving slower, feeling Cas clench and milk his cock, he fumbled so he could make a fist for Cas to rock up into to.

They held each other’s gaze as Cas jolted and Sam jacked him faster and faster, until Cas spilled over his fist.

Sam kissed him again, fevered and messy. “Perfect, so perfect. All mine.” he muttered against Cas’s soft, pillowed lips.

He pulled out, and they lay for a long time, twined together, as the buzz and the high wore off. Eventually Cas put a hand down between his legs, turning bright red when his fingers came away sticky with half-dried come. 

“You like that?” Sam whispered.

Cas nodded. “I don’t know why.”

“It’s… I mean, it’s kink of its own you know? Come play, breeding kink, there’s a few variations.”

“I think we may have more to explore then,” Cas said, looking up into Sam’s eyes.

Sam brought Cas’s fingers up toward their faces. “You want a taste?”

“I… I think, I don’t know?”

Sam moved and wiped the mess from Cas’s hand onto his discarded t-shirt. “Something for another day, then.”

Cas was twitchy and restless. 

“What is it, did I do something wrong?” All Sam’s doubts tried to crowd back into his head in a rush.

“No, nothing, I was just thinking.”

“Thinking what?” Sam nuzzled closer, shifting his arm so it was under Cas’s head like a pillow.

“I liked what you said, about filling me up.” Cas cleared his throat. “About making me…”

“So full you can’t move?” Sam grinned.

“Yes."

“It’s only a fantasy really, what with the limitations of the human body—”

He stopped speaking abruptly as Cas’s fingers brushed his cock and a light airy sensation travelled up through his shaft and tingled all the way up his spine. He blinked, looking down and then up at Cas.

“We aren’t bound by any human limitations, unless you want to be.”

“You want… again? Already?” Sam was almost speechless.

“If you’ll have me,” Cas said, looking a little bashful.

“Oh, I’ll always have you.”

Sam jumped to his feet and threw Cas’s clothes at him. “Dressed, bedroom, now. We’re going again and you’re not moving until I’m done with you and I have a plug to make sure you feel me for hours .”

Cas grinned as he got to his feet and pulled on enough layers to be decent.

“What?” Sam asked.

“I knew you’d come around.”

Sam moved in to button Cas’s slacks himself. “Well you got what you wanted, now hurry up and get your ass moving, we have a lot of work to do.” He slapped Cas on the ass, grabbed his hand and every step toward his bedroom made him feel lighter and more centered than he had in weeks.

Chapter Text

Sam was dreaming about Cas, as he often did these days. He was warm, and comforted, and so turned on. The dream was hazy, slipping in and out of his grasp, but it was happy

Cas was close, so close Sam could smell him.

So close he could hear Cas’s breaths.

So near, that every movement brought them into contact.

There wasn’t exactly a point to the dream, they just laid around between the sheets, trading kisses, laughing. Moaned into each other’s mouths, and against each other’s skin.

Sam smiled, on the brink between waking and sleeping, knowing he would wake hard and leaking, and probably need to jerk off before getting out of bed. He didn’t want it to end though, so he laid very still, and let his brain concoct more sensations.

Cas moaned his name and there was a hand, or a mouth around his cock. It vibrated in time with a humming noise and he bucked his hips up into it. His vision was fuzzy with the fog of dreaming but he heard Cas laughing and groaned in satisfaction. In his dream he lifted the covers and Cas smiled up at him from between his legs, in life he tossed his head on the pillow and his eyelids fluttered.

Something tighter and hotter wrapped around his cock sinking down one sweet inch at a time. He mumbled happy noises, pleased at where the dream had taken him.

He arched his back and found he must be tangled in the sheet, as he could barely move. He sank back, relaxed, let it happen. Maybe he’d cream his boxers without even waking, like a teenager all over again.

Dream Cas moved on, wiggled his hips on top of Sam, rolled and rocked and Sam grabbed for him. He couldn't coordinate to reach up to Cas and kiss him and he pouted, unhappy. But his cock twitched in appreciation as the sensation around it grew.

He shifted his hand sleepily, it flopped across the bed as he wanted to touch his cock for real, but he found a body in the way. His eyes roved back and forth, looking for the edges of the dream to chase, to grasp. 

He heard panting breath, and his name on Cas’s lips and opened his eyes and blinked blearily in the dim lamplight of his room. He was on his back, in his bed, his boxers pushed down his thighs, and Cas was there — already on top of him, his cock sunk inside Cas all the way to the root. Cas grinned happily down at him. He gasped and Cas lifted and sank on his cock with a grunt and he moaned.

“Wha..?”

“Shhh, I’m here, this is real.”

“I can see that— oh, fuck - unng, Cas!” He yelled, voice croaky with sleep, as Cas rode him with short sharp thrusts and clenched around his cock.

“All ready to blow for me, big boy?”

“Yes, gonna, shit Cas, fuck you’re too much!”

Cas was slick with lube and moving steadily, a hand around his own cock moving in tandem with each roll of his hips.

“You were dreaming about me, I couldn’t help but— but notice,” Cas gasped.

“Taken the initiative to do something about it I see, bit… fuck , bit presumptions isn’t it?” Sam threw his head back, eyes squeezed closed as Cas tried to milk him to orgasm.

“I knew you wanted it, I saw it once, when we fucked. In your mind.”

“My mind?” he screeched, eyes open wide in an instant.

“I didn’t mean to look,” Cas moaned. “You were practically screaming it at me, in your head. How you wanted to start and end every day — Damn, Sam, you’re so big — You wanted to start your day like this.”

“Pretty good wake up call, I’ll admit.”

“Sam, I need you, need you now.” 

Waking up sheathed inside his needy boyfriend was intoxicating, he couldn’t believe his luck. He felt lazy and sated and ready to make Cas work for what he wanted.

“Go on then.” He laid back, put his hands behind his head and let Cas ride him until they were both convulsing with the force of an orgasm, almost simultaneously.

Cas made to get off, lifted on his knees to let Sam’s softening cock slip free. Sam grabbed for his hips and yanked him back down. 

“You get off when I say you get off, you good with that?”

Cas licked his lips, and nodded. Sam smiled, and splayed his hands over Cas’s skin. He let his palms rove Cas’s body, slipped up and around his back and tickled up the sides of Cas’s ribs. He scratched through the coarse hair around Cas’s cock and balls until Cas squealed and then finger walked his way up Cas’s chest until he could massage his nipples and pinched and squeezed until Cas was breathless and squirming.

“You look pretty like this.”

“You look incredibly handsome too.”

“I just woke up,” Sam scoffed.

“And I just worked myself open and fucked you on a whim. I suppose neither of us looks as put together as we might otherwise.”

“I like you like this though.”

“You’re not upset? That I did this?”

“It’s a pretty happy start to my day. But…” he drew the word out playfully and made Cas wait for his answer.

“But?” Cas looked serious, but Sam spied a crinkling at the corner of his eyes.

“You did touch yourself without my say so, and we had agreed this was mine.” Sam tapped Cas’s cock and gathered up some of Cas’s come with his fingers. 

He brought it to his lips and tasted it, watching Cas’s eyes go round and wide as he did so.

“And sweet as you are, I might need to punish you for that. Just so you remember for the future, of course.”

“Of course.” Cas nodded demurely, but he grinned and Sam felt like a cat about to pounce on his prey. He moved quickly and rolled them over so Cas was on his back and slipped himself free with another smooth move. 

“Whatever shall I do with you?”

“I’m sure you’ll think of something.”

“Going to ask me for it, so you can learn your lesson?”

“Please, Sam, teach me how to behave.”

Sam laughed, taken aback by how quickly Cas spoke.

“Well, in that case...”

Twenty minutes later, Cas was belly down and had his hands cuffed behind his back and a bright red ass, and a pair of nipple clamps pinching his nipples to a dusky, swollen purple.

Sam pulled his head back by the hair and kissed him greedily, while his other hand gripped Cas’s bound ones and they squeezed each other’s fingers back and forth.

“That enough of a reminder for you?” He gasped, pulling away.

“Hmm, I think… I think it might take a little more.”

“Oh really?”

Sam cast about for something to use, but settled on turning Cas over until he sat on the edge of the bed, and grabbed his hair again. He pulled Cas’s head down until he put his chin to his chest. His other hand he wrapped around Cas’s cock. Cas grunted as he tried to shift his position, and couldn’t, and Sam squeezed his cock, to make him jolt.

“Look at it.”

Cas smiled, flicked his eyes up and then back down. “I am.”

“Tell it who it belongs to.”

Cas went a little red, and Sam adored the colour on him.

“Go on, I won’t let you go until you do.”

“My cock belongs to you, Sam.”

“Say it to your cock.”

“I… you… belong to Sam, cock you belong to Sam.”

“What do you think your cock thinks about all this?”

“It… it likes it.”

“Good.” Sam leaned in, and kissed the head and slipped a thumb over the glans. “You’re mine, no matter what his upstairs brain likes to think up, I get to say what we do with you.” He nuzzled the hot flesh with his nose and pecked one chaste kiss on it.

He looked up to see Cas’s pupils blown wide. He was quite a sight; trussed, and clamped, and covered in his own come. He carefully eased Cas back into a comfortable sitting position and Cas squirmed, and gasped, as he moved around on his spanked backside. Sam kissed him again and reached for the handcuffs keys.

“So… about that mind reading thing?”

 


 

Later, after cleaning up, and breakfast, and a morning of checking for cases, they found themselves back in Sam’s room. They sat cross legged opposite each other on the bed and leaned in until their foreheads touched.

“So, I just think about things, and you can see them?” Sam had to admit he was a little nervous about this, about opening himself up so thoroughly. It was slightly jarring that Cas had seen things without him knowing, and only the fact it was Cas made him not mind.

“Only if I choose to look. Or if your defenses are down, like in sleep or during sex, and I brush up against them accidentally. It only works so easily because we’re already so close.”

“Will I be able to see what you want as well?”

“Only if I let you.”

“Please let me? I want to know what you hope for, what you crave, what you need.”

“I must warn you that it can leave a mind… somewhat discombobulated, almost as though you were inebriated. You may need to take some time to relax afterwards to find your balance again.”

“I don’t see us having much else to do today, and I’d really like to know what you’re thinking, wouldn’t you?”

“I think a mutual communication could be beneficial, yes.”

“Ooh sexy talk, Cas. You do know how to make a guy hot. Let me benefit the stuffing out of you.”

“Sam,” Cas admonished, blushing. “Don’t be mean.”

“I could never,” he said, kissing Cas’s cheek. “but I can tease, right?”

“Why don’t you look, and find out?”

Grasping Sam’s hand Cas closed his eyes and Sam followed suit. Images and sounds and sensations opened to Sam like a flower opening its petals. He saw many, many iterations of them together. Some were sexual, with toys and new positions and new dynamics. Others were sweet, gentle; talking and laughing or activities without sex involved at all.

He concentrated, bringing forth his own wants and desires. Letting Cas see all the ways he wished to join with him, touch him, hold him and — in an occasional fit of jealousy — own him.

Cas inhaled at the final image Sam concentrated on of Cas on his knees, looking up, feeding a toy into Sam’s ass while he swallowed down Sam’s cock at the same time.

Another idea came to Sam’s mind in a rush, one of Cas wearing Sam’s clothes, with a one of Sam’s shirts wrapped around his head, blindfolding his eyes and covering his mouth like a gag, while Sam fingered him open.

The connection dissolved and they blinked at each other in real time.

“That’s what you want?” Sam asked. “All those things? You have a lot of ideas.”

“That last one is my most frequent desire.” Cas said and dipped his head like he was bashful. 

“Do you know why?”

“Because you’d be all around me, physically and with your scent and touch, and taking me apart in every way. And you would have to know me, and watch me, to see what felt good because I couldn’t communicate clearly.”

“I’d like that,” Sam replied, blushing at the idea.

“And that last one of yours…?”

Sam giggled, hiding his face in his hands. “I just… I want you to know every part of me, and be the only one… the only one to see me like that.”

“I’d like that, very much.”

“Well, it seems like we have plenty of things to explore then.” It felt a little awkward, having everything out in the open. 

“Perhaps, for today, we could just talk though?”

“Mmm, what did you have in mind?” Sam felt a little sleepy, and pulled Cas down to rest against the pillows.

“I thought, perhaps, I could start by telling you all the things I love about you.” Cas said, shyly. “It… may take some time.”

Sam swelled up with feeling, his chest full to bursting as he rejoiced in what Cas had said. “ I love you.” he loves me!

“I think I can make time for that.” He pulled Cas close and held him tightly, wrapping him in the biggest bear hug he could muster whilst laid down and sluggish. “Thank you,” he whispered.

“For what?” Cas said into his shoulder.

“For waiting for me.”

“I feel like it’s you who waited, for me to say it.” Cas leaned back with a frown on his face.

“You didn’t run away when I said it, and you gave me time to get used to all this in the first place. And you… well you didn’t fall in love with anyone else, before I was born, or since.”

Cas smiled. “You think about things in the strangest ways.”

“Sorry,” Sam laughed, easing himself more comfortably against the headboard. “I chew things over a lot.”

“Don’t be sorry, I just need to update my list of reasons why I love you.”

“How long is this list?”

“Longer by the day.”

“You old sap.”

“I’m not a tree.”

“You’re my tree, and I love you. Look you even have a trunk!” Sam grabbed for Cas’s cock through his pants and squeezed gently, and giggled again.

“I think the mind reading has made you a little tipsy.”

Sam laughed some more. “Just drunk on love, babyyy .”

Cas rolled his eyes and settled down against Sam’s chest. “Let’s start at the beginning of my list, I think we might be here a while.”

Sam closed his eyes in contentment, and nodded. “Yes, please.”