The night air chills Eggsy’s bones. He doesn’t want to be out here, not in the dead of Winter, he really doesn’t. But needs must. And he really doesn’t think he can push Dean for another day without payment. He’d already held they boy by the scruff of his neck yesterday, shoving him against the wall and shouting down his neck for only bringing back £60. He threatened Eggsy, telling him that next time it would be Michelle against the wall, with Daisy watching.
He wants to be at home, cuddled up on the sofa with his mum and Daisy, no Dean. None of Dean’s mutts. He wanted to hear Daisy sing for him, like she does when he puts her to bed on the nights that he can.
A car pulls up. There’s no one else around him, he’s the only one left. It’s the early hours of the morning and this is his last chance to bring as much money back to Dean as possible. He takes a deep breath, plasters a smile onto his face, and steps towards the cars open window.
“Hey there, handsome,” Eggsy lulls, slipping his voice into a seductive slur in an attempt to grip the man’s attention.
The man in question doesn’t look too rough, but Eggsy can smell the alcohol from the car. He sighs inwardly. In 60% of cases, alcohol allows his clients to be more fluid with their money, less tight and direct. An intoxicated man only has eyes for what he wants, not the price he has to pay. But that leads to the other 40%. The clients who, without the inhibitions of the sober person, only have eyes for what the want, and don’t care how to get it. The violence that usually follows leaves Eggsy whirling.
Don’t get him wrong, he could beat the shit out any man he wants to. He could run if he wants, he’s faster than most of these fat fuckers. But then he won’t get paid.
He can also smell that the man is an alpha. Eggsy had opted for no suppressants tonight, he needed all the help he could get, and if that included flaunting his omega genetics to get the extra cash (people usually paid extra when they smelt that he was an omega) then he would have to do it.
Eggsy suppresses a shudder, his skin crawling slightly, but he ignores it, trying to keep the smile on his face. He suddenly doesn’t like the vibe from this man.
But he needs the money.
“So, are you gonna unlock the door for me, or not, bruv?” He bites his lip, looking at the man from under his lashes. The door locks click and he opens it, clambering in, not giving himself time to hesitate because he knows he’ll run.
As the car turns the corner, Eggsy notices a man out of the corner of his eye, hiding in the shadows. He’s wearing a suit, which is weird enough in this part for London, but it’s 3 in the morning. And the man is just standing there, watching Eggsy as he gets driven away. He tries to push that to the back of his head, he’d worry about it later.
The journey is quiet, Eggsy feels tense, his nerves on fire. He tries to sit still, tries to push down the distressed hormones he feels threatening to spill, replacing them instead with ones of arousal. If he’s stressed, the man will be able to smell it. And if he can smell it, he’ll use it to control Eggsy. He tries to control the increasing sense of unease that he can’t place.
“You’re an omega then? Fuck me, mate, you don’t look like one,” the man slurs, stealing a glance at Eggsy in the passenger seat, running his eyes over him. He doesn’t look at Eggsy like a person, he looks at him like a piece of meat.
The car grounds to a stop.
They get out.
Eggsy hasn’t even stepped through the door for more than 10 seconds before the man is on him, pushing him against the wall, hot breath breathing down his shirt, sweaty hands pulling his clothes off. He calms his own breathing, he’ll be okay. He needs the money. He can do it. He’s just got to make it through the night.
The calm in his brain doesn’t last long before the John’s hand is wrapping around his throat, restricting his breathing. Instinctively, his hands go up to the grip, trying to pull it away.
“Wait, no- No, this ain’t-“ he stumbles but is cut off as his jeans are ripped down.
“Shut up, you little bitch. You’re just a fuckin’ omega bitch, I can do what I fuckin’ want with you. Who the fucks gonna care? You obviously ain’t got parents out there looking for you. You ain’t mated. I could keep you here and bond you, would you like that?” the man is rambling, his nose suddenly shoved at Eggsy’s scent gland, and a wet tongue drags across where he would have a bite if he was mated.
Eggsy whimpers, fear flooding his body.
No, no, no. This wasn’t how this was supposed to go. He’s only experienced a handful of alphas who have threatened to force him into a bond with him. It wasn’t usually something they threw around lightly, not at rentboys anyway. They usually just fucked him and left him, wanting nothing more to do with him.
He needed to get out of this situation. He had an internal battle. Carry on and hope the man doesn’t take it too far? All for Deans fucking money? Or cut the loss and run? He didn’t even know where the fuck he was. He was stressing out too much in the car to have taken proper attention to where they’d been going. He was so fucking stupid. What was wrong with him right now?
Before he could even make his decision he was being spun around, cheek knocking painfully against the wall with the impact.
He could hear the mans zipper, and he suddenly realised how vulnerable he was. He couldn’t lash out. The alpha had at least a foot on him, and must have weighed a lot more. Eggsy wasn’t exactly small anyway, but this guy made him look small.
He thanked fuck that he’d lubed and stretched himself before coming out tonight, otherwise it would have hurt a hell of a lot more than it already did when the man shoved roughly into him without warning. It still hurts. Eggsy isn’t aroused or slick, he couldn’t become wet if he wanted too.
His eyes scrunch up tightly and he lets out a distressed whine. The noise was an evolutionary mechanism, designed to make alphas want to help the omega, but it seemed to have the reverse effect on the John. He grins, a predatory grin, which Eggsy feels against the back of his neck.
“That’s it, make as much noise as you want-“ the alpha growls, slamming his hips up harder. This results in Eggsy instantly and stubbornly snapping his mouth shut. He smothers his own sounds in his forearm, biting down on his skin when he’s hit with a particularly hard thrust.
“Fuck, you’re bleeding for me, baby, I can feel it on my dick-“ the alpha inhales the iron scent sharply, moaning. It makes Eggsy squirm more, now that it’s been mentioned, he can feel the blood running down the back off his thigh.
A sob shakes his body, and as soon as he’s let it go, he becomes furious at himself. He can’t fucking cry, he wasn’t that pathetic. He wouldn’t cry for this man, he didn’t deserve his tears.
Eggsy makes a rash decision, his usual type of decision. With as much force as he can master, he brings his head back, smashing the back of his head into the mans face, hearing the distinctive crunch of what he guesses was his nose.
The man cries out in pain and Eggsy takes it as his opportunity to squirm away, but his adrenaline is too high and the man is too fast. He catches his leg before he can run, dragging Eggsy down to the floor as he yells and protests, kicking his legs in a desperate attempt to free himself. But the man is already on him again, he’s being pressed into the floor with the weight of his body. The man is growling viciously in his ear and he can feel blood dripping onto his neck from the man’s nose. He’s pressing into him again, even harsher with his hip movements.
“You stupid fucking slut, after I’m done with you I’ll fucking kill you-“ the man is cut short with a gasp and Eggsy feels the weight suddenly go limp on top of him.
The alpha has stopped breathing. He’s not moving. He’s just pinning Eggsy down with his dead weight. Eggsy holds his breath, counting to 5, disbelief flooding his senses. What the fuck had happened?
He whimpers, pain blossoming through his body, physically and mentally. The man is still inside him.
The fucking prick is still inside him.
He isn’t able to panic for long as the weight is suddenly lifted off of him. He scrabbles around, pulling his pants up sloppily. One threat gone, but could this be an even greater one? The scent of a different alpha fills his nostrils, his body suddenly goes lax. He doesn’t feel stressed, his hormones fighting to calm his body. There is no danger. The new man isn’t going to hurt him.
With a shaky breath, he manages to look up, meeting the man’s eyes with his own wet ones.
He was shocked to see the man in the suit standing before him. The one who was watching him from the corner. He looks over at the body lying next to him, blood pooling from a wound to the centre of his back. He cowers away, new waves of distress invading him.
“Are you gonna hurt me, sir?” Eggsy whispers, looking back up before bowing his head in submission, hoping it’ll appease the man who is sorting his cufflicks out as though they were a major inconvenience, as though he totally hadn’t just killed someone.
The small noises of pain that slips from the omegas lips obviously cause the man distress, as he grimaces, before going back to the calm and collected expression he had before.
“Now, Eggsy. You’re smarter than that. You know I’m not going to hurt you. You knew that the second you smelt me,” the man chastises softly. In a controlled and measured movement, he slowly puts his hand out for the boy to take.
Eggsy hesitates, eyes narrowing at the hand. “How’d you know my name, bruv?” he asks breathlessly, suddenly even more suspicious.
The mans head cocks slightly to the side. “I served with your father. He was an amazing man.” He looks away, a fog clouding his eyes for a split second.
Eggsy’s mind is whirling. That doesn’t answer any of his questions. Why was the man following him? Why hadn’t he heard from him before? Why had he saved him? The fucking John was dead for fucks sake, had he really needed to be that violent?
Despite these questions, he takes the man’s hand anyway, limping and wincing as he tries to stand up and walk.
He’s got nothing left to lose.
“Let’s get you sorted out, Eggsy, dear,” the man says softly. “There’s a cab outside the house. I called him prior to our…incident.” Eggsy is only half listening, the other half of him is having an internal panic attack. He’s shaking, uncontrollably and violently.
“Eggsy, I need you to listen to me-“ the mans stern voice grounds him, pulls him back. Strong hands are gripping his shoulders and forcing him to look into his eyes. “I want you to go straight to the nearest hospital. Do you understand me? Repeat what I’ve just told you,” he never breaks eye contact with the boy.
“Hospital, yeah, mate, got ya,” Eggsy mumbles vacantly. He has no intention of going to the hospital and the man seems to know this, sighing resignedly. Eggsy doesn’t have time to go to the hospital. They’d hold him there for too long, and ask too many questions. Too many questions about the different bruises he has.
The man pulls some pills from his pocket.
“If you don’t, at least take these. They’ll cover you for the worst infections you could have possibly gained,” he says softly, folding them into Eggsy’s hand who pockets them.
Accepting pills from strangers isn’t exactly something he doesn’t do, but he believes the man anyway, believing that they’re for his own benefit.
“Money, I need money, I cant go back to Dean without money-“ Eggsy mumbles suddenly, his body moving on autopilot, searching the house, pulling every drawer out, ignoring the pain that shoots across him.
“Eggsy? Listen, here, you can take this-“ the man is pulling him back and offering him a roll of cash.
Eggsy recoils, “I can’t take your fucking money, guv. Fuck, you’ve already saved my ass tonight, I can’t take your money as well-“ He protests, point blank refusing the money and going back to searching frantically.
He manages to scramble together around £230 cash. It’s no where near enough what he owes Dean, but it’ll have to do.
True to his word, there’s a cab outside. The man doesn’t follow him, presumably cleaning up the mess Eggsy had caused.
Eggsy’s body goes into shock and he shakes the entire way home, dreading the moment he’d have to face Dean. He almost doesn’t want the cab to take him home.
He almost wants to just stay with the mysterious man in the suit.
Dean ain't too happy...
Warnings: violence! + rape threat
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
He wakes with a groan, his ass killing him, the back of his head throbbing. Before he’s even fully awake he’s being shouted at, dragged up from the comfort of the sofa he was resting on. He’s thrown against the wall again, flashbacks to last night hitting him hard as Dean grips his throat.
All alphas were the same.
Fucking brutes. Treating him like shit. Like they own him. Nobody fucking owns Gary Unwin.
“So where’s my money, boy?” Deans breath smells disgusting, a mix of alcohol and stale cigarettes.
“Here,” he fumbles with his pockets, searching for the money he’d earned last night. The grand total came to £280. He owed Dean £500.
Dean barks out a laugh and snatches it away. There’s a beat of silence before, “This is a fucking joke, ain’t it? I’m gonna give you 5 more seconds to give me the rest of my money before I beat the holy shit out of you, boy. This ain’t fucking funny-“ he snarls.
Eggsy’s omega instincts kick in and he bares his neck in submission, his guard briefly falling, and he’s ashamed of himself for it, before he snaps back to himself, clenching his teeth and hiding his neck again. He can smell the anger coming off Dean in waves, hitting him like a fucking tsunami.
“5, 4, 3, 2, 1…” As the man reaches 1, Michelle tumbles towards them, shouting.
“No! Dean, no! Just leave ‘im alone, please! He’ll get the money for you, won’t you Eggsy?” Her voice is desperate, pleading with him, eyes wide.
He opens his mouth to speak, pain clutching his gut at her distress, but he doesn’t get a chance to say anything because Deans fist is connecting with his face, hard.
His head spins sideways and he manages to spit out some blood before rounding back on him.
“Fuck you Dean, you think you’re a big fucking man, don’t you-“ Eggsy growls as he hits Dean in the nose, manages an undercut to his ribs too. This just makes the man even more mad.
“You fucking bitch, I’ll fucking kill you, I’ve fucking had enough of your shit-“ he’s spitting fury as he speaks, thumping a fist square in Eggsy’s chest, causing the smaller boy to stumble back, struggle for air. Deans mutts are suddenly on him, holding both his arms out, gripping him hard and leaving his vital organs vulnerable. He panics, unable to cover himself as a new flurry of fists rain down on him. He’s exposed, each punch pushing more air from his lungs. He hears bones crack, most likely his ribs.
He pulls against the grip on his arms desperately, needing to run, to get away, but he can’t. They’d obviously planned the attack on him.
“You know what, boy? I’m gonna teach you a proper fucking lesson, a lesson I should have taught you a long fucking time ago-“ Dean spits on him, wiping blood from his mouth after. Eggsy can no longer work out which blood is his, and which isn’t. His vision blurs. He’s being shoved on his hands and knees.
Fuck. Not again, not a-fucking-gain. What did he do to deserve this? He couldn’t take it again, not so soon after last night. Tears well in his eyes and he blinks them furiously away.
“Dean, please babe, no, not him… Come with me instead, we can go into the bedroom, please, I want you…” it’s his mothers voice again, soft and hushed at Dean’s side and the man stops his assault on Eggsy. Michelle pulls the man away, kissing him deeply and slightly frantically. Luckily, Dean isn’t that clever, or isn’t that bothered about fucking Eggsy, just wanting to fuck someone in general.
“Fine, fine,” Dean mumbles between kisses. “Boys, finish up here while Muggsy’s mum and me have some fun,” he smirks and the boys smirk back.
As soon as Dean is gone, Eggsy breathes a sigh of relief which is short lived. As he’s already on his knees, they push him onto his side, simultaneously kicking him in his stomach, side and back. He tries to stay conscious as long as possible, but eventually the pain overtakes his body and forces him to shut down, blacking out on the floor while the assault continues.
When he wakes up, he can’t move. He’s alone. Still in the position they left him in, curled up on the floor. When he breathes in, he feels sharp pain across his ribs. He lays there for at least a few hours, completely unmoving.
When his mum comes out of her room, she bursts into tears at the sight of him. Hard sobs wrack her small body, her makeup smeared down her face like something from a horror movie. She sits beside him, hands ghosting over him, but not touching him in case she made the situation worse.
“Mum, I’m sorry-“ he manages to croak out between tiny, pained wheezes of breath.
“Oh god, oh god, Eggsy-“ she goes into full panic mode. “I’ll call an ambulance-“ she fumbles around with her phone.
“No-“ he manages to slowly push himself up, the words coming out rushed. “No, mum, Dean’ll fucking kill you. I’m fine, I’m fine, honest-“ he forces a smile but she just cries more. “Look, is he asleep?” She nods quickly. “I’m going to leave, okay, mum? I can’t stay here. I’ll come back for you and Dais’ mum I promise-“ he whispers, his pain flaring up at the thought of having to leave them with the asshole. She just nods more, whimpering and reaching to stroke his face as gently as she can.
“I love you,” she whispers repeatedly between apologies.
“Don’t you dare fucking say sorry to me mum, it’s not your fault-“ he sighs. He just about manages to pull himself up to stand on shaky legs with her help. He steadies himself against the counter, closing his eyes.
“Can you get me some clean clothes? Please?” He whispers. She goes without argument, stumbling around to find him clothes that aren’t stained in blood. He checks the time, glances outside. It’s dark, around midnight maybe? He must have been out for at least 12 hours on the floor. When his mum comes back he slips the clothes on, biting his lip until it bleeds to stiffle his pained sounds as he moves.
“I love you mum, okay? I’ll see you soon, kiss Daisy for me-“ he presses his forehead gently against hers and kisses her lightly on the lips.
He leaves before he can change his mind.
Walking through London is torture, even when he’s not moving he’s in pain. Just breathing is painful. He seriously considers the hospital, but decides he can’t risk his mum and Daisy like that, knowing that if Dean found out he’d kill them.
He goes to his usual corner, sitting on the damp floor, next to a wall, watching the cars drive by on the road. He desperately wishes he’d taken extra layers with him as he shivers and wraps his bomber jacket tighter around himself.
“Okay,” he mumbles. “Time to stock take.” He manages to let out a small laugh at his own dark humour.
He gently runs his hand up every rib, forcing himself to press each one. He counts at least 3 fractures, many more bruises. He runs a hand down each side of his face, realising it’s still covered in blood with a disgruntled sigh. Everyone must think he’s a fucking lunatic, walking around London covered in his own blood. No fractures along his face, which is a relief. He tenderly touches his nose, relieved when he guesses it isn’t broken. His arms are covered in dark bruises, his wrist feeling stiff and swollen. Probably broken. He swears to himself angrily. His legs are mostly unscathed. He can’t see his back, so can’t even guess the damage there.
Where did his life go wrong?
Oh yeah, when his dad decided to fuck off and die. That’s when his life went wrong.
His head falls back against the bricks of the building behind him and he closes his eyes, taking deep breaths, forcing through the pain in his chest as he did.
One sick side of him liked the pain. He felt like he deserved it, deserved it for leaving his mum and sister back there like that. He wanted to cry, wanted to hurt something, wanted to hurt himself, but instead settled for curling his knees carefully up to his chest.
It started to rain.
“Just my fucking luck-“ he holds his middle finger up to the sky, as though if the big man is up there, he might see Eggsy’s tiny act of defiance.
The rain soon has him shivering erratically, gasping for warmth. What was he to do now? He hadn’t thought this far ahead. And now he was probably going to die of something pathetic and avoidable like hypothermia, in the middle of the street. They might not notice he’s dead for a few days, or weeks. Maybe they’d just think he’s sleeping.
The thoughts fill his head as he ducks even further into himself. He’s such a fucking idiot.
Footsteps approach him, then stop in front of him. He recognises the strong scent before he looks up. When he does, he’s greeted with the stark concern on the man’s face, the face which had been so calm yesterday when he’d killed a man.
“Eggsy? Jesus, what happened-“
Eggsy glances away, down at the floor with a frown.
“You need to tell me your name before I can trust you, bruv,” Eggsy grumbles. “Why the fuck are you following me?”
“Harry,” is all the man replies with.
“Okay then, Harry, why the fuck are you following me?” he repeats, voice lower this time, his eyes narrowing with hostility.
“Okay, Eggsy. Get in the car and I’ll tell you everything. You’ll catch a death of cold out here,” he says tenderly.
Eggsy shakes his head stubbornly. “Nah, bruv, that’s the sort of shit they say in movies, and then I end up dead or being smuggled into the slavery trade.” He glares at the man towering over him.
“Oxfords not Brogues.”
Eggsy is startled by the reply.
“Oxford not Brogues,” he repeats, crouching down to Eggsy’s level. He has a black umbrella in his hand, covering the two of them. “Do you remember?”
Harry obviously notices the recognition that flashes behind Eggsy’s eyes at the words because his lips turn up slightly in a smile.
“My dad… when he died…” Eggsy tries to form a sentence, stumbling over the words.
“Exactly. Now will you please trust me? For once, just let go and trust me.”
And Eggsy does. He trusts him completely. He allows the man to wrap an arm around him and attempt to pull him up, but he staggers, crying out in pain after being curled up in the cold for hours.
“Fuck-“ he whimpers. The alpha clearly feels the distress radiate from Eggsy, his face twisting in pain as though he’s the one with the broken ribs.
“Shh, it’s okay, I’ve got you-“ he says as the boy falls against him.
“Pretty strong, for an old man…” Eggsy manages a tight lipped smirk and some cheekiness despite the state he’s in. Harry only shakes his head and attempts to laugh, but he can’t concentrate with the pheromones being emitted by the boy.
Every ounce of his body tells him him to protect him, to find the man who injured his boy, and to ruin them entirely. It worries him how out of control he feels.
He manages to get Eggsy in the Kingsman cab. He takes his coat off as soon as the boy settles, draping it over him.
“You stupid boy, what were you thinking? What was your plan?” Harry murmurs, mostly to himself, and Eggsy whimpers at the words, cowering away from the disappointment. Harry instantly realises his mistake and bites his lip. “That’s not what I meant, you’re not a stupid boy, Eggsy, I’m sorry, that’s not what I meant,” he tries to express that the anger he felt was not directed at the boy, but directed at whoever harmed him.
The boy just shrugs slightly, avoiding eye contact. Usually he’d be one to argue, to fight his corner and tell the man he’s wrong, but he doesn’t have the energy left.
He trembles constantly throughout the journey, a mess of quiet whimpers. Harry manages to manoeuvre Eggsy until his head is resting on the older man’s lap. He strokes his hair gently, and it feels right. It feels like it should. The world will be okay as long as Eggsy Unwin was in his arms.
The shaking dies down slightly with the new position, but doesn’t stop completely.
He notices the exact moment when Eggsy slips into unconsciousness, 27 minutes into the cab ride, his breathing slowing fractionally. Harry notices his own body relax fractionally.
Why had he waited so long? If he’d pulled Eggsy off the streets sooner this wouldn’t have happened. Eggsy wouldn’t be in the state he currently is in. Guilt and disgust at himself hits him in the chest and he takes a shuddering breath.
No. He had to stay calm until the boy is in medical and safe. He had to stay calm until he can see Merlin again. Merlin will look after them both.
Sorry again for any mistakes guys, please point them out and I will adjust appropriately! I've also decided I'll be trying to update this every Friday so stay tuned for more angst and stress, lads, because that seems to be the only thing I can write :) x
Eggsy meets Merlin and tries to recover.
It turns out Merlin isn’t too pleased with Harry.
“What the Hell, man? You weren’t meant to extract the boy for another 2 months!” the Scotsman growls, confusion filling his voice as medical swarm over Eggsy, sedating him.
Eggsy had slipped in and out of consciousness the entire journey to the Kingsman mansion. It had been torture for Harry. He was at his wits end, every nerve was on fire. He wasn’t usually this effected by the other sex, but he guessed that it was because he had formed an emotional attachment to Eggsy, and because the boy was in such a bad state. His own body was wired to feel what the omega did, and to react in the best way his instincts deemed possible. Which mostly involved a lot of tender reassurances, with the more than occasional spike of adrenaline and pain shooting through his body with the sudden urge to kill every alpha he lays his eyes on.
“I know,” he snaps back at Merlin. “What would you rather I do? Leave him in the street to die like this?”
“The training program isn’t for another 2 months,” he Scots sighs, pushing his glasses up to press his thumb and forefinger into his eyes, face scrunching up. “I suppose he wouldn’t have lasted long like this. What the fuck happened to him? You were meant to keep him safe…”
The words feel like a slap to Harry’s face. He’s right. He was meant to keep Eggsy safe.
Harry stays with Eggsy as much as his job allows him to for the 6 weeks it takes him to heal. The first week is bad, injuries blossoming into deeper colours and deeper pain. They sedate him for the most part, trying to stop him from stressing out more and accidentally hurting himself. He’s restless, constantly insisting that he needs to see his mum and sister. He’s disorientated, so Harry waits until the second week to explain things.
He explains what Kingsman is, explains that he’s put Eggsy in the training program. He tells him about his dad, and what happened on the night that turned Eggsy’s life around.
“My dad was fucking aces,” the boy mumbles to himself with a small grin which quickly turns sad. He subconsciously digs his fingers into a particular nasty bruise in his side, relishing in the renewed pain.
He’s surprised at the hand that wraps around his own, forcing him to stop prodding at his wounds.
“So I’m gonna be like my dad? I’m gonna be a fucking agent?” he bites his lip, looking at Harry.
“Christ, boy. Are you on a mission to reopen all your healing wounds?” Harry smiles, his tone is chiding but warm as he pulls the boys split lip from between his teeth with his thumb gently.
“Fucking aces,” Eggsy grins, taking that as a yes.
“Must you add an obscenity to every sentence?” Harry groans. “You have to pass the training first. And trust me, Merlin isn’t going to be soft on any of you. He’s a very tough man to impress.”
“Merlin? Is that the fit bald guy?” Eggsy grins and Harry rolls his eyes for what he feels like the 100th time since meeting the younger man.
“Aye, lad. The ‘fit bald guy’ is Merlin,” the Scottish accent carries across to Eggsy from the doorway, making him jump and Harry stifle and laugh. Eggsy’s cheeks flush red and he ducks his head in embarrassment.
Merlin is standing, leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed over his broad chest, and Eggsy must admit, he’s very fucking fit. They all are. All these alphas in suits, sending Eggsy’s hormones haywire.
“So, why have you all got weird-ass names? Merlin? Galahad?” he tries to change the subject, skin still a deep shade of red (well, the parts of it that aren’t already purple with bruising), unable to make eye contact with either men.
“They’re code names, lad.”
Eggsy let’s out a hysterical giggle. “Is this all a joke? Fuck me, this ain’t real, is it? This is all a fucking dream, beautiful men surrounding me, telling me they could kill me with their bare hands-“ he starts to ramble, shaking his head to himself and laughing more. The movement causes his ribs to pull tight and he winces with a grunt. Both men lurch forward suddenly, concern on their faces, ready to help him.
Eggsy bats them away, “Oi, alright, alright, I’m fine, I ain’t a delicate flower,” his voice is sharp, the effort to snap back gives him another tug of pain.
“Well, he can certainly look after himself, Harry, you were right there,” Merlin smiles slightly, looking amused. “A wee’ firecracker. If he weren’t already injured, I’d be taking him over my knee for snapping at me like that,” Merlin teases.
The words send a jolt straight down to Eggsy’s dick and he’s not sure he heard him correctly.
This was definitely a fucking dream.
4 weeks into imprisonment and Eggsy’s going out of his fucking mind.
When he says imprisonment, he means bedrest. He’s grown to love the adorably soft-hearted man who spends his lunch breaks and every other night by his side. But that’s the problem.
He’s adorably soft-hearted.
And Eggsy just wants to move, wants to get up and run, wants to do something, anything, but he can’t. Harry insists that he stays there until he’s healed, doesn’t want him to push his recovery back even further. He’s already cutting it close to the initiation for the training. He needs medical to give him the all clear in 2 weeks otherwise he’ll miss the training and his life will go back to the same old shit as before.
He wanted a better life for his family. 4 weeks ago if someone had told him this was where he’d be, aiming to train to be a secret agent, he would have laughed in their faces. But now it was happening, and he’d slipped easily into his new prospects for the future.
Eventually he convinces Harry to let him go for a walk around the grounds. It takes a lot of pleading and Eggsy’s best puppy dog eyes.
“I feel like I’m wasting away here, guv,” he whines, pouting. The man relents and lets him up, he stays with him the entire walk. When Eggsy attempts to stretch a bit, asking if he’s allowed to run, Harry puts his foot down. “No, Eggsy. You could reinjure yourself. You had 4 cracked ribs, they don’t just go back to normal in 4 weeks. Give it 2 more and then I’ll take you to see the gym,” he promises.
Eggsy sighs and almost stomps his foot like a petulant child. Almost.
He does storm off though, walking quickly, pushing the limits of what he thinks Harry will class as ‘jogging’.
“Pretty fast, for an old man,” Eggsy echoes, similar to words from 4 weeks ago. It had become an inside joke of theirs. Harry had jogged to catch up with him, grabbing his hand. He stopped him, turning him to face him. Eggsy has a scowl on his face, but that quickly changes when the surprisingly soft hands of the older gentleman grip his chin gently, careful to avoid any bruises.
Harry opens his mouth as if to say something but closes it quickly and just shakes his head. He strokes Eggsy’s chin with his thumb tenderly then pulls his touch away completely. Eggsy chastises himself internally for the whimper that threatens to spill from his lips at the loss of contact.
This man was going to be the death of him, he just knew it.
Week 6. Finally Harry allows him to the gym.
He feels so much better for it, even if the man does hover over him as he runs on the treadmill. Harry limits his weights to what he thinks will be acceptable and won’t strain his chest too badly.
When Eggsy is finished with the equipment, he’s kind of glad Harry did limit him. Otherwise he would have pushed himself too far. Even with the relatively light exercise, he was panting, trying not to express the twitches of pain that appear when he breathes too hard. He’d had worse. He’d live. The pain was good. The pain meant he was getting better.
“Right, once you’ve showered I thought we could go back into London today,” Harry says matter of factly as he watches Eggsy from the bench, one leg folded over the other.
One eyebrow arched upwards, Eggsy shrugs. “Alright, guv, you’re the boss. Better than staying cooped up here, anyway.”
Soon they’re standing outside Kingsman tailors shop.
“Am I gonna get a cool suit like you guys? Aces,” Eggsy grins excitedly.
“Well, not quite like mine. Not yet. You haven’t even started the training, who knows how long you’ll last?” Harry laughs, taking the lead and stepping into the shop. He nods to the man behind the desk, plastering on that butter melting smile that makes Eggsy swoon.
Eggsy is busy snooping around at all the pretty materials while the two exchange polite conversation. He tunes into, “I'm so sorry, sir, but a gentlemen is completing his fitting. Fitting Room Two is available?”
“One does not use Fitting Room Two when popping one's cherry. Perhaps I'll show you Fitting Room Three while we wait.” Harry’s reply sends Eggsy reeling.
“Wait, what?” Eggsy’s voice hitches as he’s escorted into the fitting room by Harry’s hand on the bottom of his back.
He grins, “Its not what you think, my boy,” he relishes in the confusion and hint of arousal on Eggsy’s face as the wall opens to reveal the secret room of weapons.
Of course, Eggsy has a fucking field day in there.
When he tries to pickpocket the lighter and Harry sees right through him, he curses the man quietly under his breath and puts it back.
Harry sits outside the fitting room as Eggsy is fitted in a 3 piece suit, tailored as closely to his measurements at they could, what with the lack of time to prepare a perfect one. The man helping him dress doesn’t comment on the numerous bruises scattering his skin, but he supposes he must be used to it with all the different agents filtering in everyday.
When he steps out, he loves the sense of pride that fills his body at Harry’s first sight of him. He blushes as the man’s eyes take the time to scan over every part of his body.
“Turn around.” Eggsy is shocked at the dominance underlying the man’s tone, so he does exactly what he says and turns around. “Slowly,” Harry adds and Eggsy instantly slows down, pausing with his back to Harry. He wonders if the man’s eyes are on his ass, doesn’t get to find out as Harry’s expression is neutral again by the time he’s slowly spun back around to face him.
“So, guv? What do ya’ think?” Eggsy asks, noticing the fact he’s seeking Harry’s approval. He realises how badly he needs the approval when his heart lurches as Harry pauses for a fraction too long.
The man breaks into a sly smile, he stands up, and Eggsy acknowledges how much taller the man is than him, the air of authority he emits just by standing there.
The hand that runs down the front of Eggsy’s chest - touching each button on its way down to the hem of his jacket - sends electricity spiking through his body, straight down to his groin. His hands instinctively clutch together in front of him, hiding the hardening outline of his cock through the pants.
“The material compliments your skin tone beautifully, as does the cut to your figure,” is all Harry says, a low murmur under his breath, directly into Eggsy’s ear.
Eggsy really can’t prevent the shiver that runs through his body that time.
“Eggsy, you scrub up well, lad,” Eggsy smirks at the slight hitch he hears in the Scotsman’s voice as he walks through the door. The gaze that follows him as he strides over to his seat is dark and low like his voice.
Eggsy slumps into the chair opposite the man, the desk separating them.
“Ta, love,” Eggsy replies, biting his lip to stifle the giggle threatening to spill as he watches the man physically squirm and cough to clear his throat. He straightens his back, polar opposite to Eggsy’s position.
“Harry’s briefed you on what this is, I take it? This isn’t a test, I just need to talk to you, make sure you’re in the right position to train for the service, mentally,” Merlin quickly moves onto the main reason he’s here. Straight to business, good old Merlin.
Eggsy hadn’t gotten to know him as well as he felt he now knew Harry, but he wanted to. Fuck, he wanted to. Whenever he walks into the room, Eggsy’s hormones go mental. The man is a fucking god.
“So, what do you want to know? I take it you probably already know pretty much everything about me, being a spy and all,” he accentuates the word ‘spy’ with a wink, smirking when Merlin squirms ever so slightly.
“Just talk me through what you want to tell me, first,” Merlin starts with, keeping his expression neutral, the only hint of emotion is the slight tilt of his head, and the tiny twitch of his jaw that wouldn’t usually have been noticed.
“Well, I’m a whore. I’ve probably got some psychological issues from that bruv, but you already know that, don’t you? I’ve got a cunt for a step dad, who likes to beat up my mum, and sells drugs to half the fucking estate-“ Eggsy begins, tone low with rising anger.
“Your mum? Dean doesn’t just beat up your mum though, does he,” Merlin interrupts, expression remaining exactly the same.
Eggsy’s eyes narrow. He knows it’s not a question.
“Yeah? And? So I’ve had to step in a few times. I know how to hold my fucking ground. Stupid fucking alphas, they all treat me like fucking shit,” Eggsy can feel his temper starting to rise, his hands clenching into fists.
“That’s the other thing, Eggsy. You’re an omega-“ Merlin’s hardly finished the sentence before Eggsy’s standing up, leaning over the desk.
“You got a fucking problem? You think I’m weak, don’t you. Coz I’m an omega, well I’ll tell you what. I’m stronger than any of you alphas will ever be-“ Eggsy is going off on a rant, and he doesn’t fully understand where the rising anger has come from. He’s not angry at Merlin, he likes Merlin, doesn’t want to be pissed off at him. Maybe he feels threatened? This isn’t the usual situation for him, and he already feels like he’s on the defensive, expecting Merlin to tell him he isn’t good enough. Because that’s how Eggsy feels.
He doesn’t feel good enough.
He doesn’t expect the grace with which Merlin stands up, meeting Eggsy’s eyeline, fire glinting behind his eyes.
“No, no, no. You don’t talk to me like that. If you have a complaint, you come here and whisper it in my ear,” the tone of his rough voice sets Eggsy’s body on fire. Every inch of his instincts tell him to bare his neck to the alpha, to appease him.
But out of pure stubbornness, Eggsy narrows his eyes further and leans in, his cheek mere millimetres from Merlins, breath ghosting over his ear.
“You need to take that chip off your shoulder. If I thought you weren’t good enough, lad, you’d know about it. I assure you. I don’t doubt for a second that you’re as strong as the men here, in fact, I know that you’re stronger than them, you demonstrated that the moment Dean walked into your life. But if I’m going to train you, you’re going to have to trust me, or else this will never work. Understood?” the man’s voice is a low, constant rumble in Eggsy’s ear, calm the entire time.
Eggsy takes a long deep breath, then gives a small curt nod, scared that his voice will betray the arousal he feels.
“Words, Eggsy,” Merlin demands quietly.
“Understood,” he breathes the word out, head bowing slightly.
And just like that, Merlin is gone. He’s pulling back and sitting back down. Eggsy is the one towering over Merlin now and it feels wrong. He wants to fall to his knees then and there in the middle of the office. He wants to bow his head and expose his mating gland to the man.
As though Merlin can read his mind, his lips quirk into a small smirk.
“You can leave now, Eggsy. I’ve heard what I needed to hear,” his eyes don’t even look up from the paperwork on his desk as he speaks, the remnants of the smirk still lingering on his lips. Eggsy stumbles out of the room and leans against the wall as soon as he’s out of range of Merlin’s judgement.
He has no idea how that went.
So he goes straight to Harry to relay everything that happened.
Life is pretty gross at the moment and I'm struggling a bit but writing this takes my mind away for a while. Sorry if it's shit, thanks for reading x
Charlie is an asshole, as usual.
warning: panic attack/description
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
“Who the hell does he think he is? Fuck, Harry, the things he does to me- He’s fucking with my mind-“ Eggsy is pacing in front of Harry, who has actually stopped working to pay full attention to him. One leg is crossed over the other, an amused smile on his face.
“The things he does to you?” Harry repeats, raising an eyebrow, thoroughly entertained.
“Yeah, Jesus, I just wanted to-“ Eggsy stops himself short, running a hand through his own hair.
“Wanted to what, Eggsy?” Harry presses him further, crossing his arms over his chest with a laugh. He enjoyed torturing the boy like this.
“I just wanted to… shit… I wanted to… I haven’t wanted to do that since I met…” Eggsy stumbles over his sentences, flustered, eyes glancing up to meet Harry’s, his face blushing into a further shade of pink.
Harry decides to put him out of his misery.
“Look, Eggsy, before you say any more I should probably tell you something,” Harry is trying his hardest not to laugh. “Merlin and I… We’re together.”
Eggsy’s jaw physically drops open. And of course, that’s when the thoughts of the two men making out fill his head.
“If you’re not careful, you’ll catch flies,” the man chastises, grinning.
Eggsy quickly shuts his mouth again.
“Oh god, oh god, and I just told you- Shit-“ Eggsy mumbles, if it’s even possible, blushing more. He does the only thing he could possibly do in a moment like this, he runs and hides.
He just admitted to Merlin’s boyfriend, Harry, which makes it worse, that he was swooning over the man. He’d never recover from the humiliation. He’d never be able to speak to either of them again!
It turns out that Harry isn’t much more adult about the situation than Eggsy.
He tells Merlin about it all who doesn’t act surprised, laughing at the situation, and feeling sorry for the poor boy and the teasing he’d endured from it.
But Harry doesn’t say any more about it to Eggsy, acting as though nothing had ever happened.
Truth be told, Harry found the boy obviously attractive, and so did Merlin. But they couldn’t be the ones to initiate a relationship, they needed Eggsy to do that himself. The last thing they wanted to do was push the lad too far, after all, he would make an amazing agent, and they couldn’t jeopardise that with romance.
And so the training begins.
On the first task, Eggsy struggles slightly, but fights all the same. It’s then he realises he’s still not fully healed from Dean’s beating. He gets the sense that Harry realises this, but the man lets him carry on, just keeping a closer eye on him. He knows better than to interfere with Eggsy’s capabilities.
He takes suppressants for the most part. Merlin had advised him to do that, implying that it may interfere with the other candidates.
That pisses Eggsy off all over again, “Fuck the other candidates,” he’d said. But then he met Charlie, and very quickly decided that he wouldn’t rebel against Merlin’s advice.
He becomes close with Roxy, she’s his favourite. There’s more than a few times when he comes close to battering Charlie into next week, but he doesn’t. He doesn’t for Merlin, and for Harry.
He can’t disappoint them.
After the parachuting challenge, Eggsy’s insecurities flare up. Merlin had chosen him to not have the parachute? What the fuck.
Eggsy instantly resorts to what he knows best when feeling hurt, he becomes aggressive and defensive.
“You better calm your tone with me, lad. We’ve been through this. We’ve spoken about that chip on your shoulder,” Merlin growls. If there’s one thing he’s learnt from the last few months, it’s the difference between Harry and Merlin.
He can push Harry when he’s angry, and Harry will continue to look at him with the same collected patience and warmth. When Eggsy’s finished ranting, Harry will touch his cheek softly then offer to make him a brew.
But Merlin? Merlin won’t take it. His voice will stay calm, but will slowly grow lower and lower. His body language will remain open, but gradually overwhelm Eggsy with authority as he closes the distance between them.
Roxy and Charlie had gone back inside, the other candidates going to pack their stuff and leave.
“But why me, bruv?” Eggsy retorted.
Merlin closes the distance between them completely with one step. He’s breathing hard, Eggsy can feel it on his face, clearly angry at being accused of discriminating against Eggsy. Eggsy just has to tilt his chin up half an inch and his lips will be against the older man’s. And he wants to so fucking bad.
Neither of them move for a few seconds, and for half of one, Eggsy thinks Merlin might actually kiss him, his breath hitching in his throat. But alas, the world hated him.
“You had a parachute,” is all Merlin finally says before reaching behind him and tugging the string. Eggsy flies backwards as the parachute flies open. He curses the man as he walks away, leaving Eggsy scrabbling around on the floor, the bastard.
He feels mentally exhausted as he makes his way back to the dorms. He’d ripped the parachute off and left it in the field. Back in the rooms, the boys who failed are packing up their things with angry grumbles.
Something feels wrong, he doesn’t know what yet, but something. Roxy is looking at him with wide eyes, walking over to him quickly. “Eggsy, you need to leave,” she says in a hushed and hurried tone.
“What? Why? What’s happened?”
Eggsy’s blood runs cold at the voice. Everything inside him freezes, in what, fear? Anger? Anticipation?
Charlie is storming over to him, shit eating grin on his ugly face. Eggsy spins around to face him square on, Charlie is pouncing on him. Something is being shoved in his chest, and he knows what feeling floods him as he realises what it is. His pill bottle of suppressants fall to the floor. Shit.
Shit, shit, shit.
“I fucking knew it. You’re just an omega bitch. That’s how you got in, isn’t it? You’re Harry’s little bitch, is he breeding you? Because that’s all you’re good for. That’s all you’re meant for. Why are you here?” Charlie growls, he’s in Eggsy’s space, backing him into a corner, and all of Eggsy’s instincts tell him to fight back and punch him in the face.
He’s faced worse than Charlie before.
Roxy is stepping in, trying to pull Charlie off of him, but he just shoves her away again, a venomous look on his face.
“You gonna stick up for him coz he can’t stick up for himself? He’s too fucking weak. Just you wait, he’ll be baring his neck to me in a moment,” Charlie grins.
Eggsy’s hand curls into a fist before he knows what he’s doing, and he’s just about to punch the git when a deep voice booms through the room from the doorway.
“What the /fuck/ is going on here?”
It’s Merlin, and Eggsy feels a sudden overwhelming urge to cry. Mostly in relief. Then he hears Harry too, appearing a second later.
“Charlie, I strongly advise you step away from Eggsy,” Eggsy hasn’t heard Harry sound like that before. His voice is dark and makes him shudder, it’s a voice he doesn’t want to be on the wrong side of.
Charlie hesitates, before stepping away, refusing to look at the dominant alphas, scowl fixated on Eggsy instead.
Roxy’s hands come to Eggsy’s gripping his still clenched fists, pulling him away from Charlie. She can sense that he’s on the verge of attacking him, one wrong look from Charlie away from losing his shit. For that reason, she places herself between the two of them and he focuses on her face instead.
“Charlie, go to your mentor. I’ll be having words with you later,” Merlin orders.
“Eggsy, come with me,” Harry’s tone has become fractionally softer, but the hard glint is still there. Eggsy obeys immediately, squeezing Roxy’s hands gently in thanks before turning and following Harry out of the room. He glances behind his shoulder at Charlie as he storms the opposite way and he watches him spit in Eggsy’s direction before turning a corner, out of sight.
When they’re back in Harry’s room, Eggsy feels numb. Then disgust. He feels disgusted at himself.
Disgusted at the fact he’s omega, at the fact he feels like he’s let the 2 men down, disgusted at the fact he hadn’t hidden his suppressants well enough, disgusted for not fighting back, for just freezing, for letting Charlie talk to him that way.
He can’t breathe, he needs to get away, away from the concerned face of Harry, staring at him like he’s a fragile thing who’s on the verge of breaking.
He can’t breathe.
“Eggsy, look at me-“ the world is spinning, he tries to focus on Harry but his eyes are blurring, the sound of water is filling his ears, becoming increasingly louder, his heart is beating too hard, too fast-
“You’re having a panic attack, love,” the soft voice is now Merlin. The door has shut, it’s just the 3 of them. “Breathe with me.” Merlin is replacing Harry, exaggerating his breathing so Eggsy can copy him.
Eventually, he manages to will his body to do what it’s told and breathe slowly. He doesn’t know how long he and Merlin stand like that, but it’s a while. In that time, Harry has gathered as many blankets as he can.
“There’s a good boy,” Merlin says softly with a small smile as he brushes hair off Eggsy’s sweaty forehead. His breathing is mostly normal again, with the occasional hiccup. He feels a flutter in his chest at the words “good boy”, the same flutter he feels whenever he receives praise from either man.
“Do you think you could walk over to this couch for me?” Merlin asks gently, not wanting to push him over the edge into another panic attack.
Eggsy nods slightly, glancing at it and taking another deep breath. He shuffles over there. Harry is placing blankets on him, curling him into a safe little cocoon of warmth.
Then Harry is lifting him up slightly and sliding onto the sofa next to him. He brings the boy back down so he’s flush against Harry’s side, Eggsy’s face pressing into the crook of his neck. He inhales sharply, nose nudging against Harry’s jawline. He feels safe, Charlie isn’t going to hurt him when Harry is holding him like this.
He can feel Merlin’s hand in his hair again, but then it’s gone and he makes a soft noise of protest.
“It’s okay, lad. I’ll be back. I need to go sort out a certain little gobshite first. You’ll be okay here with Harry,” Merlin’s voice reverberates through his body and he finds himself nodding. He hears the soft sound of Merlins lips touching Harry’s, then feels those same lips touch his own forehead and he subsequently leaves.
“’M sorry, Harry,” Eggsy finds himself mumbling into the older man’s soft skin.
“My dear boy, why are you apologising?” Eggsy feels the rumble in Harry’s chest as he speaks.
“I let you down.”
“No, Eggsy. You could never do that. You’re too much like your father.”
Satisfied with the reply, Eggsy allows sleep to take him.
Exams are finally over (yayyy) so life is now slightly less gross! I would say that maybe my happiness will start to protest through my writing but that is a lie, it shall always be angsty. Thank you for reading! x
The moment you've all be waiting for, Eggsy and Merlin smut...
He wakes up in a cosy room, in the centre of a king sized bed. He giggles to himself at the irony. A king sized bed in the Kingsman estate? He couldn’t dream of anything else.
He doesn’t remember getting there, which implies that Harry or Merlin carried him there. The thought does more to him than it should.
He can still smell the alphas scent in the room and on his clothes, it comforts him. Roxy comes tumbling into his room and he’s still in bed, semi-naked, curled up in the covers.
She throws herself down next to him, grinning and propping her head up on her elbows so she can look at him.
“What?” Eggsy mumbles, voice hoarse from sleep. Her happiness is infectious though so he feels himself smiling.
“Merlin gave Charlie a right bollocking last night, I heard it from the dorm room, he was so loud! Then Charlie comes back, looking red faced, and starts packing up all his stuff!” she’s still grinning like a lunatic, waiting for Eggsy to join in on her enthusiasm. He gives a small cheer of triumph, eyes closed and seeking the sleep she’s taken away from him.
“Ow!” A pillow connects with his face and he yelps.
“Come on, you lazy bastard, I want to know everything,” she insists, whacking him with the pillow until he relents.
“You’re a fucking gossip, you are,” he mumbles after telling her everything, rubbing a hand over his face. “How’d you already know I wasn’t an alpha, anyway?”
She shrugs, “I don’t know, I just knew it as soon as I saw you. I guess that’s why I was drawn to you more than the others. I wanted to protect you-“ his eyes narrow, “-not that you need protecting or anything of course,” she adds quickly, then her mouth slips into a smirk. “After all, you’ve got two very scary alpha daddies who can do that for you anyway.”
This time it’s Eggsy’s turn to whack her with a pillow.
There’s a small cough from the doorway and they both jump. It’s Merlin, and he’s looking very flushed.
“Can I have some time with the boy, please, Roxy?” Eggsy can hear a slight strain in his voice.
Roxy just grins and nods, jumping up and shouting a quick “bye” as she leaves.
Merlin steps in and shuts the door before turning back to Eggsy and raising an eyebrow incredulously. “Two ‘scary alpha daddies’? I hope Roxanne wasn’t referring to Harry or myself,” he says, knowing exactly who she’s referring to.
Eggsy wants to crawl under the covers and hide forever. He was gonna kill her for leaving him like this.
Merlin coughs again and shakes his head when Eggsy doesn’t reply, confirming his suspicions.
“How do you feel?” he changes the subject.
“I’m okay, pretty tired. Charlie is a fucking-“
Merlin cuts Eggsy off. “I know he is,” he says softly. “May I?” he gestures to the now empty space next to Eggsy on the bed where Roxy had been laying.
He curses his own body at the way his heart rate picks up slightly, the man just wants to sit down for fucks sake. Calm yourself, Unwin.
He nods, “Sure,” he tries to sound as nonchalant as possible.
Merlin sits down, remaining poised. He places his tablet on the desk next to the bed before turning to face Eggsy fully.
“How do you really feel? Charlie said some shitty things to you,” Merlin raises an eyebrow expectantly, spitting out the name like it tastes nasty in his mouth.
That’s the other thing he’s noticed about Merlin and Harry. Harry hardly ever swears, and pulls Eggsy up on it when he does. Merlin? Merlin doesn’t swear as much as Eggsy, but in the brief moments he’s felt Merlin lose control, he does.
“Well, they were kinda true, weren’t they?” Eggsy replies quietly, focusing on picking at a stray piece of fabric on the bed cover. “I’m weak, just a fucking omega. Why am I here? I’m not good enough,” his voice catches. It’s all things Dean has said to him over the years, and then Charlie is saying them too, so they must be true.
Strong fingers force him to look up into the older man’s eyes. He’s leaning closer, voice quieter. “I never want you to think that about yourself Eggsy. You’ve proven yourself in these challenges. One of my top students. Charlie’s out-dated mindset just can’t handle the fact you’re better than him.”
Does the man always smell this good? Are his hands always this warm and soft? Have his eyes always had those specs of brown melting into the green?
These are all questions that circle Eggsy’s head as he makes the rash decision to lean in, too suddenly for the older man to realise what’s happening until Eggsy’s lips are pressing against his, too suddenly for Eggsy to change his mind.
The first kiss is chaste, innocent almost. Just the gentle press of sensitive skin against skin. Eggsy’s pulling away again, ready to apologise, ready to make up excuses, but Merlin doesn’t give him a chance.
The second kiss is desperate and hungry. Merlin’s hand has slipped from Eggsy’s chin to the back of his neck, holding him close. His lips are sliding against the other man’s, wanting more, needing more. He doesn’t realise he’s holding his breath until Merlin is pulling away slightly.
“Breathe, boy,” he demands quietly against the other man’s lips with a chuckle. Eggsy feels him speaking against him and gasps in a breath. It makes Merlin smile slightly.
Eggsy feels like he’s 15 again, getting his first kiss from one of the boys in his gymnastics class. He doesn’t feel experienced, Merlin makes him feel like a virgin.
His cheeks tinge pink with embarrassment when he smells the scent of his own slick fill the room, humiliated at his lack of control. His stomach lurches with arousal when he sees the lust suddenly fill Merlin’s eyes at the scent.
“Fuck, Eggsy,” the alpha growls suddenly pulling away completely so they’re no longer touching. Eggsy finds himself gasping, wondering what he’d done wrong. Oh god, he’d read the situation wrong. Merlin didn’t want him. Merlin was happy with Harry, now he’d be kicked off the programme.
Merlin was standing now, one hand on his head, his back to Eggsy. Eggsy can hear him taking deep breaths.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, Merlin-“ Eggsy whispers, he needs the man to look at him, he can’t take the man ignoring him.
“Eggsy,” his voice is hoarse, his body tense as he turns around again to face the younger male. “I’m going to have to leave the room, or else I can’t promise I won’t end up fucking you.”
Oh. Merlin doesn’t hate him?
Merlin wants to /fuck/ him?
“Oh,” Eggsy breathes out. “But I want you to fuck me.”
The older man runs a hand over his face, a low noise escaping his throat. “But I can’t, Eggsy. Harry told me that we had to wait before we… before we let anything happen…” his voice sounds desperate, pleading with Eggsy not to push his last remaining thread of resilience. “I’m still your trainer, for fucks sake, lad. There’s probably some rules somewhere about fucking your students,” he mumbles.
“You and Harry both like me?” Eggsy asks curiously.
“I’ve never been in a polygamous relationship before.” He snorts a small laugh to himself, unless you count fucking numerous men every night as that.
“You’re vulnerable, Eggsy. We don’t want to push you into anything you might regret,” Merlin says, trying to explain their reasoning for not telling him sooner.
“I ain’t vulnerable, Merlin,” Eggsy narrows his eyes. “Unless you want me to be,” he giggles out with a small moan. He relishes in the twitch he sees in Merlin’s jaw. “I can make my own decisions, bruv.. This ain’t the 1800’s. And right now?” Eggsy’s voice is slowly growing lower and raspier. He crawls off the bed, slipping onto his knees with the grace and elegance of years of practise. “I’m making the decision to suck you off, sir.”
He licks his lips, drawing Merlin’s attention to them, and he could swear he sees the man’s cock twitch in his slacks when he addresses him as ‘sir’.
On his hands and knees, he crawls across the floor to the frozen man. When he’s kneeling in front of him, staring directly at the man’s cock, he doesn’t retreat, like he knows he should.
“As long as that’s okay with Harry?” Eggsy suddenly adds in the sweetest voice he can muster, looking up at the scot under long lashes, coy expression on his face.
He takes the lack of reply as a yes.
He’s done this so many times he’s lost track, most of his evenings started out like this, but without the comfort of carpet under his knees, usually the unforgiving pavement. But this time it was different. Because it was Merlin he was aiming to please, not just some random man from the streets.
Merlin who had just admitted to wanting to fuck him. Merlin who has just opened the possibilities of a relationship with him and Harry. And if that doesn’t turn him on, he doesn’t know what will.
So this time, when the scent of his slick fills the air as he mouths at the outline of Merlin’s cock, he doesn’t feel ashamed. He relishes in the hands that work their way into his hair, stroking his scalp and trying not to hurt him.
He unzips the pants with his teeth, pulling them open and down. It’s a cliché trick but he does it anyway.
When the layers of clothing are removed and he’s faced with the overwhelming sight of the man’s cock, he does let out a choked moan. He’d been imagining this moment for the past 8 weeks, dreaming of it but never really thinking it would happen.
The musky smell of sex fills his senses as he takes the tip of the cock into his mouth. It’s heavy and hot on his tongue, filling his whole mouth as his jaw is stretched wide. His tongue swirls around the head, flicking the underside, and he feels the hands tighten fractionally in his hair as he takes in another inch.
Eggsy wants to take his time, honestly he does. But his body moves on impulse, and soon Merlin’s buried to the hilt, rubbing against the back of the boy’s throat and leaking pre-cum as Eggsy moans around him. The vibrations send Merlin crazy and he’s rocking his hips before he can stop himself.
“Fuck, lad, your mouth-“ is all he can manage to growl, head tilting back in pure ecstasy as Eggsy starts bobbing his head, pulling all the way back then swallowing the whole length back down again.
His gag-reflex is practically non-existent after so many years in the trade, but he still finds himself struggling with the length of Merlin. He tries not to show it.
“Maybe I should do this to you when you start sniping back at me, keep ya quiet,” the alpha mumbles under his breath, making Eggsy grin – well, as much as one can grin with a cock in ones mouth.
Soon Eggsy can feel the man’s knot beginning to form, but he doesn’t relent, just pulling back enough so the knot doesn’t get caught behind his teeth, and he can still move his head over the remaining length.
“Fuck, Eggsy, you might want to pull off-“ Merlin warns, hands twisting to the verge of painful as his hips stutter erratically.
Eggsy ignores him, of course.
He suckles on the head as Merlin cums onto his tongue, moaning loudly at the taste and heat he feels at the pit of his stomach. He holds the cum on his tongue, slowly pulling off the older man, and just sitting with his mouth open, awaiting further instruction.
He tries not to shiver at the little string of spit/semen that connects Eggsy’s open mouth to the wet cock.
“Shit, fucking hell- You’re so gorgeous like that, my cum in your mouth-“ Merlin is breathing hard, eyes wide at the sight in front of him. He prints the image into his brain permanently, never wanting to forget it.
Eggsy just squirms, pressing a palm down on the ache at the front of his jeans, ass clutching around nothing.
After Merlin is sufficiently satisfied with the boy’s display he smiles, “Okay, Eggsy, you can swallow it now. There’s a good lad,” the praise falling from the rough voice fills Eggsy with warmth and he does as he’s told, swallowing the alphas cum with a small whimper, closing his eyes and committing the taste to memory.
His own dick feels like it’s ready to explode.
With little to no effort, Merlin is picking him up, putting him on the bed, and yanking open his jeans. He’s embarrassed when it only takes a couple of strokes from Merlin’s hand to bring him to orgasm, obscenities leaking from his lips like there’s no tomorrow. He almost cries at the lack of contact on his ass, but promises to himself that he’ll change that next time. After all, Merlin had been in a relationship with an alpha for more than 20 years, so Eggsy could forgive him for the lack of attention to some of Eggsy’s needs.
Wordlessly Merlin stands up, getting a cool wet towel from the bathroom to clean the boy gently. As he lays with him, he mumbles sweet words of reassurance, about how well Eggsy has done. It surprises him, as he didn’t expect Merlin to be the soft sort. He almost expected him to just gather his things and leave, with a curt, “Paperwork to do. I’ll see you in training tomorrow.” It makes him giggle.
“Something funny, lad?” the man breaks him out of his thoughts, a hint of warning in his voice.
“No,” Eggsy quickly says, curling into the man, pulling him against his chest so he can nuzzle into his neck, sighing at the comforting scent of the alpha. “You just surprise me, is all…”
“Oh, how so?” Merlin’s hand is back in his hair, but this time it’s just stroking him softly, the sensation tickling him and sending his body into a fuzzy haze.
“You’re so soft,” Eggsy mumbles against his skin with a grin.
“Care to elaborate further?” There’s amusement and curiosity tainting his tone.
“When I was blowing you, you stayed so…poised and stiff the whole time. Not a single hair or movement out of place, as though it was just another training challenge. I just didn’t expect you to be a cuddler,” he grins more and ducks his head to dodge the scolding tap of Merlins hand, giggling away.
Merlin is bristling and he presses a kiss to his lips. “You’re only embarrassed because it’s true,” Eggsy says softly against his lips, and Merlin can’t even argue. He just shakes his head and wraps his arms tighter around Eggsy with 2 last words before they sleep, soft and full of warmth-
Lol hope it wasn't disappointing, anybody has any ideas on how I can improve my smut writing I will be more than happy to hear them, thanks! x
Warning: attempted drugging
Eggsy wakes up alone. He still doesn’t believe what happened yesterday was true. Would Merlin act differently with him now? Did he tell Harry what happened?
Fuck, he wishes he could have watched Harry’s face when Merlin told him.
He lays in bed until Roxy knocks on his door, forcing him awake properly and up to continue with the training.
He spends the afternoon sparring with Roxy, he doesn’t realise Harry is watching them until they eventually tumble apart, Eggsy conceding to her when she gives a particularly nasty jab to his side which sends him reeling. She doesn’t know that’s where Dean’s fractured his ribs on at least 3 occasions, just acting how she would with any other sparring partner, but it still shakes him up slightly.
She notices something is off, but doesn’t try to push him when he forces a laugh and tells her to carry on with one of the other agents, insisting that he’s okay.
He goes to the shower rooms and stands for a second with his head against the refreshingly cool locker, taking deep breaths. He almost jumps out of his fucking skin when he feels the flat of someone’s hand pressing between his shoulder blades.
“Fuck, Harry, warn a man before you make him shit his pants, would ya?” Eggsy wheezes out.
“Sorry,” Eggsy can tell that he’s not sorry by the small smile threatening to tug his lips. “You and Roxanne had a good fight, I rather enjoyed the show,” he says, hand still pressed against Eggsy. “That was a bit of a nasty blow she landed in the end, though,” he raises an eyebrow expectantly at the boy.
“Yeah, caught me off guard,” he smiles weakly, the pain in his side a reminder of that.
“Mind if I look?” Harry says, but it’s not really a question.
With a sigh, Eggsy drags his shirt off, wincing when he lifts his arms over his head.
“If you just wanted to see me shirtless, you just had to ask, guv,” he manages to joke, winking at him as he throws his shirt on the bench. Harry tries not to complain at Eggsy’s untidiness, forcing himself to ignore the discarded clothing.
He gently presses the tender ribs with his finger tips. Eggsy shudders at the delicate touch, then swears loudly when Harry presses harder.
“Sorry, Eggsy. I’m just trying to work out if I can feel any fractures. You really ought to be more careful.” He sighs. “You know what fractured ribs feel like, does it feel like Roxanne’s reinjured them?” Although Eggsy knows he’s only trying to help, he also feels like the man is telling him off, and he doesn’t like it.
“Yes, I do know what they feel like, thanks for reminding me, mate,” he snaps back, grabbing his shirt again and pulling it back on without grace.
“I didn’t mean it like that, you’re acting like a child,” Harry’s patience grows thin, which is a rare sight indeed, and the rebellious side of Eggsy really wants to push the buttons, see what happens.
“Well, maybe you forget that I’m still pretty much a kid. I’m fucking 23, bruv. You and Merlin are twice my age, but maybe you both forget that when you’re wanking over the thought of me.” He knows it’s incredibly inappropriate of him, but he can’t stop the words once they’ve started. He doesn’t even know where they come from.
The look on Harry’s face is one of shock, and then slight discomfort, and then neutrality again. Whatever Eggsy expects the man to say, it definitely is not the words the actually come out of his mouth.
“You weren’t complaining when Merlin was ‘wanking’ into your mouth, yesterday.”
A. Harry had probably never used the word ‘wanking’ in a sentence before in his life, judging by the look of disdain on his face as he does.
B. Merlin had told Harry about yesterday then.
C. Eggsy was totally fucking ready to let Harry wank into his mouth today, in this shower room, on this floor, if Harry continued to look at him like that.
“Are you angry at me for doing it? I did ask him if he thought you’d be okay with it-“ Eggsy is stumbling over his words. Just as he thinks he’s managed to grab a bit of power and authority over the men, they snatch it back again and he’s left recoiling into submission.
He isn’t able to think for much longer though because Harry’s mouth is on him, eliciting gasps from the younger boy as he’s pushed back against the lockers by steady hands.
“Of course I’m okay with it. Over the past few weeks I’ve managed to fall utterly for you, Eggsy. Merlin and I both. You’re all I think about. All I worry about,” Harry mumbles, sighing and kissing him again, softer this time. “I almost wish I’d never signed you up to this, because I know that inevitably you’ll be putting yourself in danger. However, Merlin and I will always be here, waiting for you when you need us.”
Not really knowing what to say, Eggsy opts for kissing the man again, until their lips are raw. They hear the tell-tale noise of the door swinging open and pull apart quickly, just in time for Roxy to come through the doors.
“I was beginning to wonder where you two were,” she smirks knowingly between the two of them and their red faces. Picking her stuff up from next to Eggsy’s she grins, not turning around to look at them as she leaves and calls back, “Your shirt is on backwards.”
Eggsy blushes, quickly scrambling to put his shirt back to rights and Harry is laughing, shaking his head and pulling away. “She’s a clever girl,” he says with one last chuckle. “Come on then, Eggsy. I feel like you, Merlin and I need to have a talk.”
They approach Merlin’s office, Eggsy feels anxious, his body buzzing with nerves.
When he walks in he keeps his eyes lowered, unable to meet the other man’s gaze. Merlin is sat at his desk, filling out paperwork.
“Merlin, dear. Do you have a minute?” Harry asks, pulling two seats out, one for Eggsy and one for himself.
“Aye, aye, of course,” Merlin finishes the line he’s on before looking up and giving them both his full attention. Eggsy focuses on his lap. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong. Eggsy and I just had a…chat. I feel like we need to set this out properly, now the boy has realised we spend our time ‘wanking’ over the thought of him,” Harry is teasing Eggsy, and if Merlin is surprised by the comment he doesn’t show it. Eggsy’s face reddens.
“Okay… Eggsy, tell us how you’re feeling.”
Eggsy resists the temptation to roll his eyes. “How I’m feeling? I’m feeling like I want to shag you both, which ain’t an uncommon feeling for me. The feeling I don’t understand is wanting to shag you and be with you all the time. I wanna go on dates with yous both. I wanna become a trio, the three of us vs the world. I’ve never met men who make me feel the way you do.”
Merlin’s eyes have been trained on Eggsy but they now flicker to Harry’s for a second.
“Then that’s what you’ll have,” he states simply. “You’re old enough to realise what you’re getting into, and as you pointed out to me clearly yesterday, to ‘make your own decisions’. Harry and I would like to start a proper relationship with you.”
Eggsy takes a second to process the words, and to believe them, before he glances up and finally meets Merlin’s gaze. “Fucking aces.”
Harry rolls his eyes but smiles, something which seems innocent until he speaks, “However, Eggsy, we may have to address some of your manners, one of which being your filthy mouth, even if I have to take you over my knee every time you say an obscene word without necessity.”
Eggsy bites his lip and looks back down at his lap again, mumbling a quiet, “Sorry, sir. I’ll try not to swear so much, honest-“
“Very well, dear. I’ll let you off this time,” he kisses Eggsy’s temple lightly and smirks.
Eggsy spends the final few weeks of his training between his dorm room and Harry and Merlin’s house. They don’t fuck as much as Eggsy would like, but it’s rare that any of them aren’t exhausted from the day’s work, not to mention Merlin’s insane work hour schedule.
“You spend more time sleeping in your office than in your bed,” Eggsy hears Harry complain many a time.
When Harry is sent on missions, and Merlin is working, Eggsy tends to stay close to Roxy, in the mansion. He’s discovered the one thing he can’t handle, being alone. Especially at night.
The two men have had to awaken him many nights from bad dreams of Dean, and the numerous other men who have hurt him. They always shower him in kisses, holding him close until he stops shaking, and then for long after that too.
He waits until he’s alone to cry though, not wanting anyone to see that. It makes him feel weak and powerless, not feelings he enjoys much. Those feelings usually manifest themselves into irritability and aggression.
On the occasions that he ends up snapping at the two men, they deal with the situation with neutrality and calm, knowing that Eggsy will apologise as soon as he realises what he’s done.
The training eventually comes to an end. Eggsy falls at the last hurdle, but there isn’t much that Merlin and Harry can’t do.
They speak to Arthur, and Eggsy will never know what they said to him, but it worked. Arthur begrudgingly lets him into the team, he’s given the code name “Gawain” and Roxy is given “Lancelot”.
It’s a whirlwind from there. Eggsy is sent on solo missions. Merlin and Harry object to them, thinking Eggsy would be a lot safer on a team where he’s unable to make stupid rash decisions on his own. After the 3rd of these mentioned decisions, he finally relents and agrees to do team missions instead. Roxy stays solo and Eggsy is more than slightly jealous about it.
Eggsy is laying on the bed of the Kingsman private jet, the rest of his team on the other side of the partition. He’s coming back from a mission in France, deep in the dark parts of the city, full of the sleazy BDSM clubs, all owned by one man. Eggsy had met that man and gained the information he needed, granted, his methods may have been unorthodox.
“But did you have to suck his cock? He’d already told you what we needed,” Merlin’s voice is a low rumble in his ear and Eggsy giggles. He can tell he riled Merlin up with that, seeing as the man had to watch the entire thing through Eggsy’s glasses.
“Mm, that was just for show, sir,” he slurs, grinning and putting his arms behind his head as he lays there. “And you enjoyed it, didn’t you, Merls?” Eggsy knows how much he hates the nickname.
“Insolent boy,” is Merlin’s muffled reply.
As much as he enjoys tormenting the man, he misses Harry’s voice. He hasn’t heard from him all week, seeing as Harry was on a mission of his own.
“Is Harry back?” Eggsy unbuttons the top buttons of his shirt.
“Well? Can I speak to him?” Eggsy frowns slightly. There’s a hint of something in Merlin’s voice, he can’t place what, and suddenly he’s anxious, body wired.
“Look, he’s…busy at the moment. When you get back, come straight to my office. I need to talk to you,” he says, sighing.
“What, why? What’s wrong? Is Harry mad at me? I don’t understand…” he hates the wobble in his voice as he speaks.
The intercom switches off and it feels like a stab to Eggsy’s heart. He’s sitting up now, his hands dropped down to his lap, clutching together tightly. He tugs roughly at the tie around his neck, tightening on his throat, red hot anger filling his eyes.
He curls up, not moving or speaking for the remaining journey home.
He doesn’t go straight to Merlin’s office, like he’s been told to. He goes to Roxy’s room. She’s not there, so he sits for a while, comforting himself with the scent of her that surrounds him. When she doesn’t turn up after an hour, he leaves again, deciding to bite the bullet.
He goes to Merlin’s office, not knocking, just opening the door and walking in.
Merlin looks up at him instantly, the worry draining from his eyes when he sees that it’s Eggsy. “Where the fuck have you been?” Eggsy shrugs. “The plane landed over an hour ago, Jesus, boy,” he groans, running a band over his head.
“Where’s Harry then? Why won’t he speak to me?” Eggsy crosses his arms over his chest defensively.
“I never said that, Eggsy. Now, if you would just sit down, I need to talk to you,” the words are an order.
“No, I won’t sit down until you tell me what’s happening. All you fucking do is hide things from me, where’s Harry?”
“i’ve warned you about that tone,” the voice is no longer patient or pleading, it’s now just pure authority, looming over Eggsy. “Now, you’re either going to get on your knees, or I’m going to have to make you. Clearly you can’t obey orders when you’re left to your own liberties, so I’ll have to take them away until you learn that what I’m doing is for you.”
Eggsy’s eyes drop to the floor and he scowls. Merlin takes a cushion from the couch and places it on the floor, next to his seat.
He hesitates, but eventually drops to his knees in front of him. As soon as he hits the cushion, a sense of calm floods his body. This is where he wants to be, Merlin can tell him what to do, he doesn’t have to worry about anything, Merlin will do the worrying for him, because Merlin is his alpha.
“I’m sorry, sir,” Eggsy says softly, head bowed in submission.
“It’s okay, lad. I know you’re stressed,” a hand reaches out to stroke over Eggsy’s cheek and he leans into the touch. “I wanted to speak to you about Harry here, you in the room with me.”
The worry starts again in the pit of Eggsy’s stomach.
“He’s back from his mission, but there were a few complications. One of the bombs went off before Harry could safely dispose of it. He was injured, they’ve placed him in a coma, just for a week or so, his body needs to fix itself.”
Eggsy feels numb, he doesn’t feel the panic he should feel, just numbness. His mouth opens, then closes. Then he’s rambling, he’s talking and he can’t stop. Harry, his Harry, was hurt. Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. That wasn’t allowed to happen. No.
“I’ll fucking kill them, who did it? Who did it?” he’s demanding, hands gripping Merlin’s knees. Merlin sighs and picks up both of Eggsy’s hands, holding them in his own.
“Shhh, I know you’ll fucking kill them, and that’s why I can’t tell you who did it,” Merlin smiles weakly.
“I want to see him-“ Eggsy moves to stand up but Merlin’s grip tightens on his hands, wrapping around his wrists and holding him down.
“You can’t, Eggsy. Not today. He only just got back, and he’s still rough. Nobody is allowed to visit him for another 2 days. Not even me.”
Eggsy whimpers then, the smell of his distress filling the room, clouding Merlin’s senses like a fog.
“Is there anything I can do, Eggsy? To help you calm down?” Merlin’s voice sounds distant in Eggsy’s head.
He shakes it, staring through Merlin’s legs into the void. “No, I want Harry.”
Merlin tries to hide the hurt that flashes across his face, he knows that it’s the boy’s hormones and anger speaking, not him.
Suddenly, Eggsy is standing up, ignoring the way his vision blurs at the quick change from kneeling to walking.
“Where are you going? I told you, you can’t see Harry until-“
“The pub. I’m going to the pub.” Eggsy is out of the door before Merlin can say anything else.
It’s hard to find a decent pub near the Kingsman estate, so he travels back to London. He avoids his usual one, too worried about bumping into Dean and his mutts to risk it.
He contemplates visiting his mum, but again realises it’s too risky. Another few weeks and he’ll be able to put a deposit on a Kingsman house, and his mum and sister can move there.
When he finds a pub, he buys himself a drink and goes straight to one of the booths. He watches the men around him as they drink their drinks. Some are betas, some alphas, he’s the only omega, and they can sense it. Heads glance his way, eyes lingering fractionally too long.
“Can I buy you a drink? You’ve almost finished yours,” someone is sliding into his booth, staring at him with a slick grin on their face. Eggsy shifts uncomfortably, narrowing his eyes.
“Nah, ta, mate. I’m good,” he tips his beer to him and takes another sip, purposely ignoring the Iohn sitting opposite him, willing him to leave. He just wants to get drunk in peace.
“Are you sure? Because it’s rude not to accept a drink when it’s offered to ya,” the mans voice isn’t so friendly any more. Eggsy resists the urge to roll his eyes.
“I said, I’m fine, mate,” he tries to keep his tone calm, not too aggressive. Although he would love a good old fashioned punch up right about now, he’s sure Merlin won’t appreciate him coming home in the early hours of the morning covered in fresh bruises. His boyfriend was already unimpressed enough by the whip marks across his perk hide that he’d attained from the mission.
Not that Merlin didn’t like the marks. No, they looked splendid. He just didn’t like the fact he wasn’t the one who put them there.
When Eggsy realises the man is still sitting opposite him, he groans internally.
“Alright, fine. I’ll have another pint then.”
He’s sure he can hear the John mumbling something about “ungrateful bitch” as he’s going back over to the bar. Eggsy watches him go, then takes a moment to close his eyes, count to 10, and calm himself down.
Opening his eyes again, the man has left the bar and is now sitting in his booth again, placing the pint in front of him with a smirk.
“Cheers, then,” Eggsy grumbles, chinking his drink against the others. Just as he’s about to put the glass to his lips, he nearly jumps out of his skin when he hears Merlin’s voice urgent in his ear.
“Wait, Eggsy-“ Fuck, he forgot to take his earpiece out after the mission, or turn his glasses off. That meant Merlin could tune in whenever he wanted to, just at the flick of a switch.
He pauses with the glass halfway to his mouth, heartbeat feeling as though it pauses too.
“Do not, I repeat, do not drink the drink. The bastard’s put something in it. I wasn’t sure but I just replayed the feed,” Merlin’s voice is dark and concerned.
Slowly, Eggsy puts the glass back down on the table, keeping his eyes fixed on the man. He snaps.
“Do you enjoy drugging young boys in your free time then?”
The splutter and look on the man’s face once he’s said the words are something he wishes he could keep forever.
“The fuck did you just say to me?” The guy is leaning forward threateningly now, Eggsy subconsciously leans forward too, squaring up to him.
“I said, do you enjoy drugging young boys? What were you going to do with me after you’d drugged me?” Eggsy speaks slowly, so the man can hear every word loud and clear.
“You fucking cheeky little bitch-“ the man is lurching forward but Eggsy is a step ahead, leaning back out of range of the swing, then pulling himself out the booth, the John following his lead.
“Eggsy, no- Leave, don’t-“ Merlin’s frantic voice is blatantly ignored as Eggsy decides “fuck it, and fuck you”, punching the John square in the jaw.
He goes down in one swoop, face first into the ground.
Unsurprisingly, it’s not long after that when the cops are called and Eggsy is being roughly forced into handcuffs.
He almost laughs at the stream of curse words flowing through the feed in his ear from Merlin, settling for grinning stupidly instead.
“Hey, hey, easy. My hands are an important part of my work, bruv, plus my alphas won’t be too fucking happy if you mark ‘em up,” he smirks at the alpha who is cuffing him. The response he gets is a mere growl, and he’s being shoved into the cop car.
God, he’s missed this.
Eggsy really needs to learn how to control his emotions.
warning: really light BDSM, safeword mentions
It takes Merlin 47 minutes to arrive at the police station, and 14 more minutes after that to convince the officers to let Eggsy go.
“He fucking deserved it though. He deserved more than one fucking punch for the amount of people he’s probably drugged and we don’t even know about!”
“Although I applaud your heroism, I could have dealt with him in a legal way without violence, Eggsy. You know that. And you could have gotten yourself hurt! Either you don’t think, or you don’t care about the consequences that I have to deal with when you do stupid things like this.”
Eggsy is scowling, glaring across at Merlin who has refused to look at him the entire journey home.
“Fuck that, he just needed a really hard punch.”
“Next time, I’m leaving you to rot in the jail cell,” Merlin announces, and Eggsy doesn’t doubt him for a second.
“Why was you nosing on me anyway? How long were you gonna watch me through them glasses if he ‘adn’t done that?” he raises an eyebrow at Merlin, satisfied when he sees him squirm.
“You don’t trust me, do you?” Eggsy realises, slumping back in his seat. “Thought I was gonna fuck someone, didn’t you?”
Merlin cringes, sighing and finally addressing Eggsy face on.
“No, I didn’t think that. I was just worried about you. God knows the amount of danger you manage to put yourself in. And look at what would have happened if I hadn’t?”
That was fair enough.
When they get back to Merlin and Harry’s place, Eggsy is restless. He paces circles around the bedroom, lost in his own thoughts.
Eventually, Merlin comes out of his office an hour or two later, looking tired and ready for bed.
“Do you ever run out of energy, lad?” he mumbles, shaking his head as he walks into Eggsy pacing.
He walks over to the bed and sits down on the edge of it, making a decision.
“Eggsy? Come here please.”
Eggsy recognises that tone. He stops pacing, stepping towards his alpha instead.
“Considering what you put me through today with your insistence on punching someone, I’m going to spank you.” Eggsy’s blood rushes to both his head and his cock simultaneously. Merlin gestures to his lap, sitting back and giving Eggsy space to drape himself across it.
His trousers are being shuffled down to his knees, but Merlin keeps his underwear on, hiding the marks of the whip from Eggsy’s mission. If he saw them, he’d want to mark Eggsy harder with his own cane, but he’d already decided that tonight wasn’t the right night.
“What are the safewords. Repeat them to me please.”
“Green for carry on, amber for wait and talk, red for stop,” Eggsy breathes, like second nature.
“Good boy, how do you feel currently?”
“Okay then,” Merlin runs a hand under the boy’s shirt and along his bare skin, causing him to shudder slightly. “We can stop at any point you want, yes? I won’t be mad, I don’t want to hurt you.”
“Yes, sir,” Eggsy breathes, muscles relaxing as he feels safer and comfortable. They’d done soft BDSM like this before, experimenting as their relationship progresses.
“I want you to count.”
And with that, he begins.
His warm up swats are uncomfortable, but when he fully starts to spank the boy, he’s crying out. Merlin’s hands are so large and firm, Eggsy knows it’s meant to be a punishment but he loves it, his cock growing heavier beneath him with each hit.
“7, sir-“ Eggsy gasps out.
“Colour?” the flat of Merlin’s palm is pressing against his raw behind, massaging the sting away gently, preparing him for more.
“Green, sir. Definitely fucking green,” his eyes are closed, blissed out. There’s slick leaking between his legs, down his thighs, making the fabric of his boxer briefs wet and sticky. He loves it when the older man takes control of him like this, teaches him a lesson.
One of Merlin’s hands is slipping beneath the underwear, and two fingers are rubbing against his hole. Eggsy moans and pushes his hips back on instinct, seeking out the fingers, hole fluttering expectantly.
“Nah, uh uh. Not yet,” Merlin pulls the hand away entirely again and Eggsy has to resist the urge to cry out in exasperation.
After what feels like a lifetime, they make it to 15. Eggsy is squirming in Merlin’s hold, panting with the effort not to clench all his muscles, expecting another swat.
“Good boy, you took that so wonderfully for me,” the Scotsman praises him softly. “Now, do you understand why I had to punish you?” Eggsy is being pulled up into the man’s arms, a bundled ball of loose limbs.
“Yes, sir. I need to trust you more because you didn’t hide Harry from me to hurt me, but to protect me, and I shouldn’t have run off like that. I need to think before I do things like punch people, and accept drinks from strangers,” Eggsy says into Merlin’s skin, pressing his head into the crook of his neck and inhaling his scent until it makes him dizzy. He’s squirming, arse clenching and dick hard.
Merlin accepts what he says and smiles. “Good boy, I only do it because I care about you.”
The older man is nuzzling at Eggsy’s hair now. He pulls off the boys boxers completely, and the rest of his clothes. Eggsy’s arse is glowing bright red, he’s careful not to irritate it when he moves a hand behind, two fingers pressing at him again, pushing past the clenching muscle there and into the warm, wet heat of Eggsy’s body.
Crying out Merlin’s name, his back arches slightly and his teeth sink into the skin near Merlin’s collarbone. He sucks a mark into the skin, claiming him as his own for a while, grinning at the fact it’ll blossom tomorrow and remain for days.
Merlin’s other hand is now stroking his hard cock, and he’s whispering sweet nothings in his ear. It doesn’t take long for Eggsy to cum over his stomach, arse gripping the man’s fingers with sweet abandon.
“Alpha, my alpha,” he’s mumbling, still inhaling the man’s scent as deeply as he can, drunk on it.
“Good boy, Eggsy. You’re my sweet boy,” he kisses Eggsy softly until he has to get up.
“I’ll be back in a second, okay?”
Eggsy whines and curls up on the bed, shivering at the loss of contact. But true to his word, the man comes back moments later. He rubs a soothing ointment onto Eggsy’s backside, cleans the cum up from his stomach, then pulls the blanket over the two of them, pulling the younger boy close to him, an arm wrapped protectively around his waist.
Eggsy’s eyes are closed and his breathing is slowing.
“Thank you, Merlin.”
“That’s okay, sweetheart.”
“Harry’s going to be okay, isn’t he?” there’s uncertainty in Eggsy’s voice, his pitch raising slightly at the end of the question.
“Yes, darling. Harry will be okay,” Merlin’s voice is a constant rumble of reassurance, his hand is stroking Eggsy’s hair.
In his sleepy and sex filled haze, Eggsy smiles slightly. He’s on the verge of sleep as he whispers, “I love you. Love you both…”
But he’s still awake enough to remember the quiet reply of, “We love you too” before exhaustion overtakes his body.
It’s as if the roles have reversed. In his time which he spends sitting at Harry’s bedside, holding his hand, he remembers how the man had done the exact same thing for him a couple of months ago.
Eggsy is strung tight the entire time Harry is in medical. He snaps at everyone. Harry finds it endearing, Merlin finds it frustrating.
Once out of the coma, Harry takes a few weeks to heal, he wouldn’t be allowed on a mission for at least a few more months.
“I don’t think you should be allowed on a mission ever again,” Eggsy mumbles, pouting. He’s curled into Harry’s side, on the bed, much to the dismay of the medical team. They know better than to argue though.
“Now you know how Harry and I feel when you run off and do stupid things and get yourself hurt,” Merlin rolls his eyes, he’s sitting on the other side of Harry, rubbing gentle circles into the back of his good hand, the hand that isn’t in plaster.
Eggsy scowls at him and cuddles up closer to Harry’s side, mumbling a childish “Whatever.”
“Speaking of missions, I need to brief you on another one Eggsy. It’ll be happening in a few weeks, just a small thing, you should hopefully be fine,” Merlin doesn’t sound too sure though as he says it, a hint of doubt in his voice. Frowning when he notices it, Eggsy sticks his bottom lip out stubbornly.
“Of course I’ll be fine, ain’t nothing I can’t do.”
“Eggsy Unwin, you turn into a right spoilt little brat when Harry’s around. Harry, I blame you. You spoil the boy,” Merlin is mumbling and rolling his eyes again, he’s typing on his tablet now, decidedly fed up with competing with Eggsy for Harry’s attention.
Eggsy grins, and Harry smiles (as much as he can with stitches in his lip), knowing that it’s all in good humour, and Merlin could never really be angry at them for the dynamic of their relationship. A cute little sandwich with Eggsy stuffed between them – pun intended – and Harry spoiling him from one side with Merlin reprimanding him on the other, the perfect balance.
If mainly just to piss Merlin off, Eggsy begins a soft kissing session with Harry as he lays there. It’s an attempt to scream, “Hey Merlin, join in-“ but as usual, Merlin shakes his head and tuts at them both.
“There’s been an incident in Germany, if either of you need me I’ll be in my office,” he does kiss Eggsy then, hard and punishing as if to scream “look at what you could have had if you’d been a good boy” then kisses Harry polar opposite, gentle and careful.
As Merlin’s walking away, Eggsy grumbles…
“You’re a sod.”
sorry it was a bit short, might add another chapter earlier than usual.... thanks for reading and commenting, I'm really enjoying writing and posting this, hit me up with any ideas you have though! xx
warnings: more smut! dub-con/attempted at one point
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Harry is now fully into recovery. He’s been allowed home, where Eggsy babies him the whole time. The omega has decided to take it on himself to keep Harry in bed, find all of the soft and warm things he can in the house and place them with Harry, cuddling up to him as much as he can in the cocoon of comfort.
That’s why Harry is slightly relieved when Eggsy gets sent on the mission Merlin had been speaking about previously.
All he has to do is act as a bodyguard for some prestigious Kingsman linked sponsor (or some shit, Eggsy doesn’t know, he zones out of that part in the briefing). It would take him a week, and he only has to travel 40 minutes or so by cab to get there. He’s a bit disappointed at the lack of a need for the private jet this time.
“I know we decided on not letting you do solo missions anymore, so I’m sending Kieran with you, he’ll be in the background, try not to speak to him directly unless it’s absolutely necessary, nobody there knows you two are connected, think of him as the unexpected backup.”
Eggsy glances at Kieran who is standing next to him. He’s a young beta (around Eggsy’s age) who he recognises from around the estate, attractive but simple, someone who has stuck on Eggsy’s mind mostly because he’s one of the only ones like Eggsy who isn’t an alpha.
“Alright, bruv?” Eggsy reaches out and they shake hands, Kieran continues to smile but doesn’t say anything, just giving a curt nod of his head.
“Is that all clear, Eggsy?” Merlin raises an eyebrow at him.
“Yeah, yeah of course,” he rolls his eyes. “You worry too much, you’re going into an early grave, old man,” he smirks.
“Aye, and you’re the one digging it,” Merlin mumbles with an exasperated sigh. Kieran tries not to giggle, quickly grabbing his stuff when Merlin shoots him a glare and excusing himself to wait in the cab.
“You scared him off!” Eggsy grins, winding his alpha up even more.
“Okay, dearest, you can leave now too,” he mumbles, typing away at his tablet.
Suddenly, Eggsy sways on his feet slightly, heat rushing to his head. It only lasts a few seconds, but of course Merlin notices.
“Nothing, nothing, rush of blood to the head,” Eggsy says quietly, he feels his cheeks reddening slightly but he has no idea why.
“Are you ill? You can jeopardise the mission, if you’re not well enough to do it safely, go to medical and I’ll find someone else,” Merlin’s voice is firm, making Eggsy scowl.
“It’s nothing, guv. Like I said, you worry too much.” With that, he’s gone, joining Kieran in the cab.
The first few days are uneventful. Eggsy and an alpha agent, probably from a different service as Eggsy doesn’t recognise him, stand by the sponsors side through every boring meeting. Scanning the room constantly, Eggsy ensures there’s no threats. Every movement has him alert until he knows there’s no danger.
His feet begin to ache from constantly standing around doing nothing, he doesn’t converse with anyone the entire time he’s there. Once or twice he spots Kieran, but mostly the boy sticks to the shadows, waiting behind doors for Eggsy to call to him if he needs him.
He wants Harry and Merlin so badly, his stomach physically twists in pain when he thinks about them, and the fact they’re not with him right now. This is all pretty weird, because although Eggsy misses his alphas on missions, it not usually this bad.
As the 3rd day comes around, Eggsy finds himself becoming dizzy. Heat envelopes his body and he becomes flustered. It happens while he’s walking to the sponsor’s bedroom with the other agent, and he has to physically stop and clasp the wall for a second. To his horror, he feels slick beginning to gather at his arse, and fuck-
Fucking fuckity fuck. He was in so much fucking trouble.
He holds his breath and trains his eyes on the other agent as the guy suddenly spins around to face Eggsy, his eyes turning dark as he inhales the sweet scent of Eggsy’s heat.
Eggsy’s heat had hit him like a fucking brick.
He bites back a whimper and the suddenly intense urge to moan at the alpha. The guy is large, packed with muscle and 6ft something. Fuck, Eggsy wondered how big his cock would be, shoved up his-
No. No, no, no. This was wrong, he needed Harry and Merlin, he didn’t want this stranger.
Even through his heat filled blur, he knew that he didn’t want the guy who was now stalking towards him. Swearing loudly, he panics when the agent lunges for him. He needs to contact Merlin, quickly-
He suddenly feels large hands grabbing him and pushing him against the wall, and the contact feels like a relief until he remembers it’s not his alpha.
“Mmm, omega-“ the man moans in his ear, hot breath tickling his overly sensitive skin, and Eggsy has to try not to bare his neck, whimpering truly now.
While he still has the ability to consciously do so, he fights the alpha off, resorting to having to use a weapon to temporarily stun the man.
He contacts Merlin through his glasses, breath coming out quickly and shallowly. He needed to make it back to the relative safety of his room, he couldn’t be out here in heat, the alphas would be able to smell him-
“Gawain? Are you okay?”
“Fuck, Merlin-“ Eggsy whimpers at the voice, arousal and relief simultaneously flooding his body.
“Eggsy? What’s wrong, lad? You don’t sound too well-“ Merlin feels something flutter in his chest, he just can’t seem to place the feeling, the feeling that he knows something is wrong just by the boy’s voice, but doesn’t know what.
“I’m going into heat-“ Eggsy manages to form the sentence, “Please Merlin, I need you-“
Merlin’s stomach drops. Heat? How the fuck was he going into heat? What was he going to do?
“But that’s not possible? Your suppressants-“
“It is fucking possible, because it’s happening,” Eggsy snaps, feeling a new wave of arousal hit him. He needed Merlin, and he needed him now, in this room, on this bed, in Eggsy’s-
His train of thought is cut off at the knock on the door.
“Who is it?” Eggsy calls out, his voice cracking slightly as he tries to sound normal.
“Kieran,” a quiet and concerned voice replies.
In his hurry to open the door, Eggsy almost trips over his own feet. As soon as the boy is over the threshold he slams the door shut again and locks it.
“Fuck, fuck, how did you know I was in trouble?” Eggsy tries to ignore how attractive Kieran appears to him currently. Granted, not quite as attractive as an alpha cock would be, but good enough.
Kieran just frowns at him, obviously unaware of the scent of Eggsy’s heat filling the air. “Heard you stun the big agent guy, figured something must be wrong. What is wrong exactly? You look a bit flushed-“
“I’m in heat, and I need to get back, ASAP bruv,” Eggsy pants, pacing anxiously around the room. “Fuck-“ he leans over the bed in pain at the lack of alpha touching him, filling him.
Obviously having never dealt with an omega in heat before, Kieran just stands, confused and shocked.
“Right, okay, it’s going to be okay, what do you want me to do?” his eyes are wide and innocent and Eggsy nearly laughs.
“I take it that fucking me isn’t one of the options you meant?” he sniggers weakly at the look of shock growing on the younger males face and Merlin’s warning voice in his ear. “It’s a joke bruv, I just need to make it back to Merlin and Harry.”
“I’ve sent a car to you Eggsy, you just need to make it out the building. It’s a black Range Rover,” Merlin’s voice is calm through the intercom as he repeats the number plate to him, but he’s far from calm in reality. His mind and body are fighting against each other. Everything in him screams to go immediately to Eggsy and kill every alpha within at least a mile radius of his boy. But he knows he has to stay calm, because doing that would put everyone in bigger danger. Unfortunately, the Kingsman mission overrides Merlin’s instinct to fuck his omega, and he can’t leave his place as a watcher until they find someone who can take over. “Kieran can take over from you in the mission.”
Kieran nods to show that he’s heard the instruction through his own intercom. “You’ll have to use the amnesia dart on the man Eggsy stunned, I’ll leave you to think of a plausible explanation for what happened and where Eggsy has gone.”
Kieran escorts Eggsy to the car and they try to look as normal as possible as they go, Eggsy ignoring the wet between his legs making it uncomfortable to walk, and the pulsing clench of his arse around nothing.
“Thanks, mate, I owe you one,” he mumbles, Kieran smiles and shakes his head, making sure he gets in the car safely.
“We have to look after each other, we’re the minority,” he shrugs and pats Eggsy on the shoulder, with a small wink and a quiet, “Now go enjoy your time with Harry and Merlin,” leaving Eggsy blushing to himself. He blames it on the heat.
The car journey is uncomfortable, he’s painfully aware of the lack of Merlin or Harry’s voice in his ear as he squirms, trying to find friction from the seat beneath him. He’s on the verge of crying when suddenly Harry’s voice is filling his ear, “Eggsy, dear? Are you okay? Sorry I couldn’t get to Kingsman sooner, Merlin is busy trying to sort things out before you arrive back so he couldn’t really talk.”
“Harry-“ Eggsy doesn’t even attempt to hide the joy and relief in his voice as he exclaims the name out. “God, I just want your cock in me-“ he whimpers, glancing at the driver who remains fixated on the road, completely ignoring Eggsy’s conversation out of politeness. Merlin had ensured that they sent another beta.
He hears a small hitch of breath on Harry’s end, a pause as he gathers himself. “I know, darling. As soon as you get back, that’s exactly what you’ll get. We’ve instructed the driver to take you straight back to the house. As soon as Merlin and I finish up here we’ll be coming over.”
There were some issues in allowing Harry and Merlin the time off from Kingsman, as neither of them had actually bonded with Eggsy so technically had no heat/rut rights with him. They did manage to convince Chester King eventually, with a few heated threats exchanged which in hindsight probably weren’t necessary.
After what feels like forever, Eggsy arrives at the house. He hopes to fucking god that Harry and Merlin had gotten back before him. He stumbles with the key, hearing the car pulling away again behind him as he eventually manages to unlock and open the door. Practically falling into the house, he moans at the familiar scent of the alphas that he’d missed so much in the past few days.
He finds them in the lounge, they jump to their feet when they see him. Eggsy stands in the doorway as they stare at him, eyes darkening in arousal.
“You should have told us you were going to go into heat-“ Merlin’s rumbling voice fills Eggsy’s head with fuzzy warmth.
“I didn’t fucking know, did I, bruv? Can we talk about this later? Coz right fucking now I need at least one of you in me,” Eggsy whimpers.
Any sense of poise or control goes out the window, they both practically jump him, pinning him against the wall as hot hands touch his overly sensitive skin, ripping his clothes off.
It’s like something from one of Eggsy’s wildest fantasies, two amazingly attractive alphas who he loves smothering him in rough kisses, losing their minds over him.
He’s being hauled up, carried bridal style to the bedroom by one of them (his head is too hazy to know which). A constant stream of moans and whimpers seem to escape his lips, which are trailing along the man’s neck, teeth nipping at skin in desperation, inhaling as much of the alphas scent as he possibly can.
Neither men had properly dealt with a heat before, having been together for so many years. The lack of control was alarmingly unfamiliar, but even through the sex filled haze, Merlin quickly realised the problem.
“Harry, we can’t both fuck him,” he growled frustratedly.
Eggsy just looks between them with a lustful smirk. “Can’t you?”
Both men turn to look at him, splayed out on the bed beneath them, cock hard and leaking precum between his spread legs.
“What are you implying, Eggsy?”
“Both of you can fuck me, god, please, I need it, I’ve done it before, please-“ his voice is desperate.
They exchange a look, and it doesn’t take much more persuading than that.
Harry manoeuvres Eggsy so that he’s laying beneath the boy, Eggsy splayed on top of him, hands fisting at Harry’s chest as he leans down, trailing more kisses on his skin, leaving painful marks when the men take too long and Eggsy becomes impatient.
“Alright, alright lad, just wait,” Merlin scolds, slapping his arse gently and eliciting a loud moan from Eggsy in return. His skin feels like it’s on fire, burning wherever the men touch him, needing more.
Merlin rubs his hole, gathering as much slick as he can and coating himself and Harry in it. Harry’s hands roam Eggsy’s back and around to his chest, pinching the boy’s perk nipples and smirking at the jolt he gets in return.
Then, Merlin is guiding Harry’s hard cock to Eggsy’s entrance. Harry holds Eggsy still by his hips, allowing himself to control the speed with which he enters him. Eggsy let’s out a long drawn out moan until Harry is buried balls deep inside him. Literal tears form in his eyes at the relief, the pain of being empty finally leaving and replacing him with pure satisfaction.
“Fuck, yes, Harry- Alpha-“ Eggsy whines. “Merlin- Need you too-“ he pouts over his shoulder at the other man who just shakes his head slightly, keeping direct eye contact with him as Harry starts to thrust his hips.
“In a minute, Eggsy,” Merlin promises, voice low and full of sex. He’s stroking his own cock as he watches Eggsy get fucked.
After a few minutes, Merlin’s remaining self control resolves and Eggsy feels him pressing against the cock already inside him. For a split second, he suddenly wonders if he’ll actually be able to handle the both of them. But then Harry is kissing him, whispering, “Good boy, sweet boy, you’re doing wonderfully-“ and he knows he can. He relaxes, after a few pushes, Merlin is finally breaching the ring of muscle and Eggsy is keening, feeling impossibly full.
They start off slow, giving him time to adjust, Harry pushing his hips up, and Merlin sitting between Harry’s legs, behind Eggsy, thrusting at the opposite time to Harry.
Eggsy never wants it to end, he can only describe it as pure ecstasy. The alphas are grunting and moaning in pleasure, devouring his skin with their mouths, Eggsy cums hard, almost blacking out with the sheer force of it. He clenches down on the men, muscles spasming in pleasure.
“Fuck, Eggsy, so tight- So beautiful for us,” Merlin growls in his ear, accentuating each sentence with a hard snap of his hips. Eggsy lifts his chin, moaning animalistically as bares his throat for them. He knows that they can’t bond him. There are two main reasons, a. he can only really bond with one of them, which is not fair on the other, and would most likely create rifts in the relationship, and b. Kingsman currently exploit his unmated omega title, if he was bonded he would be less approachable to other alphas, which would ruin all his honeypot missions, and, well, all the other missions too. Despite this, he desperately wants them to bite him, to claim him.
“Bite me, please-“ he pleads abruptly, briefly surprising the two men. “I know you can’t bond me but- I need you to claim me- I want to be yours- Mark me, please-“ his voice is breathy and desperate, high pitched and rough with sex.
He feels their knots beginning to form, making him impossibly more full. “Fuck- Feels like you’re splitting me in half-" If Eggsy wasn’t so high on adrenaline and arousal he would find himself cringey, but he supposes you can take the boy out of the rentboy, but can’t take the rentboy out of the boy.
He feels Merlin smirk against the back of his neck, mouthing dangerously close to where he would have to bite him to bond him. Harry just growls, also mouthing at his neck, along his collarbone-
“Fuck-“ he cries out, verging on a scream as he comes again while the two alphas sink their teeth into his skin. He would definitely have two marks for the next week at least.
He’s clenching around them again, and they’re panting harder. It doesn’t take long for them to cum in him, Harry first, then Merlin a second later, growling as his hips stutter to a stop, knot caught on Eggsy’s rim, keeping them both pressed hard inside him.
Eggsy falls against Harry, breathing hard and groaning. His hole was thoroughly abused, pulled tightly around his alphas.
“Thank you, thank you, fuck, I love you-“ he whimpers, a quiet mantra, at no one in particular, just directed generally at the both of them.
Harry’s arms are holding him tightly against his chest, they’re all damp in sweat. They manage to manoeuvre Eggsy, careful not to pull on his rim with their cocks, until they’re all on their sides, Eggsy in the middle.
Eggsy couldn’t ask for any more, or better alphas. He wonders how he became so lucky, he doesn’t know if he would have survived if he’d still been with Dean. Between the sex, he appreciates the two men and what they’ve done for him.
I feel like I'm shit at smut lol soz guys oh well x
It seems I am incapable of writing something in which abuse doesn't occur in some shape or form. Sorry guys I warned ya, it kinda all goes downhill from here...
warnings: abuse/anxiety/self harm (kinda)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Eggsy hardly remembers any of it when he finally comes out of his heat again, almost a week later. Merlin and Harry had alternated in fucking him, keeping him full and happy constantly, the only minutes that he wasn’t was when they swapped, one pulling out and the other pushing back in.
He’s curled up on the bed between the two of them, they must have showered him before he went to sleep as he feels clean (apart from the small dribble of cum that leaks out of his hole onto the bed, remnants of the past few days).
Body protesting, he rolls onto his back with a groan.
“Eggsy, darling, back with us, are you?” Harry teases softly, his eyes are slightly open, his hand moving to Eggsy’s hair, playing with the soft curls.
He realises the arm around his waist is Merlin’s as it tightens when the man groans sleepily, pulling himself awake.
“God, Eggsy. I’m so glad there’s two of us, I certainly wouldn’t have been able to cope with you on my own, I’m growing too old for these things,” Merlin mumbles, stretching. Harry laughs in agreement.
“I’m so sorry-“ Eggsy bites his lip.
“Why are you sorry?” Harry frowns, moving closer to the boy to kiss his temple.
“I didn’t know- I thought the suppressants would have stopped the heat, I wouldn’t have gone on the mission if I’d known,” he mumbles.
“I’ve watched you taking them so I know there must have been an issue in the tablet, maybe your body just doesn’t want to react the same way to them anymore? But that’s not your fault,” Merlin says softly. “You don’t have anything to be sorry for, we’re not mad, lad.”
Eggsy let’s go of a breath he doesn’t even realise he’s been holding, sighing in relief and curling into the men more, closing his eyes and relishing in the heat from their bodies.
“You’re both amazing,” he mumbles, blushing slightly. “I don’t deserve you.”
“You deserve everything,” Harry says softly, kissing him.
They stay like that for a few hours before Merlin and Harry have to leave for work. Eggsy is allowed another day off to give his body a bit of time to recover, much to the dismay of Chester King who begins mumblings of “Damn omegas, shouldn’t be in Kingsman, distracting 2 of my best alphas too” which the three men choose to ignore. They understand that he’s old fashioned and stubborn in his traditional ways. He wouldn’t change his views after so many years.
The next few months seem to go by quickly. Eggsy acquires a house for his mum and Daisy, he visits them most nights. Since Harry has gone back to work again, fully recovered, and Merlin is a workaholic, he doesn’t see them as much as he wants to. He’d rather hang out with Daisy than be alone. Other nights he stays at Roxy’s, when she’s not on some faraway solo mission.
He enjoys going on his own missions, but unless Merlin is his Handler he finds most of them mundane. He should be happy, he isn’t having to kill loads of people or save the world from evil cunts, but he just finds it boring.
Ever since his heat, he’s felt different. He doesn’t delve too deeply into it though, figuring that maybe it’s because he’s finally had his first proper heat with a /partner/, not just some random john.
But then one day he decides to go see Merlin while he’s working.
He doesn’t bother to knock, just waltzes straight into the room and over to Merlin, who is frowning at something on his tablet. Clumsily and unceremoniously, Eggsy drapes himself over the man, snuggling his face into the crook of his neck.
“How’s Harry doing? His mission going okay?” the boy asks softly, mouthing at Merlin’s neck as he does.
Merlin smiles and nods, “Yes, he’s doing well, he’ll be back soon.”
“And how are you? You ain’t been home in at least 48 hours…” Eggsy tries to keep the sulk out of his voice but fails miserably. “I ain’t got Harry and I ain’t got you, I don’t know what to do with myself.” It’s completely true, on his days off from Kingsman he just goes to the pub and wastes the hours there when no one is around for him to see.
Merlin sighs, putting the tablet down and finally focusing his full attention on the boy in his lap. One hand snakes around his waist and the other plays with his hair on the back of his head gently, sending pleasant tingles up Eggsy’s spine.
“I know, I’m just so busy at the moment. We lost one of our Handlers to an overseas partner and haven’t had time to replace them yet, so a lot of the work is falling onto me. That, paired with training the new recruits - who are all fucking useless, may I add – and I realise I’ve probably been neglecting you, I’m sorry. Harry did speak to me the other day about this, told me I need to make more effort to spend time with you instead of in this office.” When he’s finished speaking, Eggsy takes a second to look at the man properly, and he does look stressed. He has dark shadows under his eyes, face pale and slightly gaunt, it looks like he hasn’t been eating properly.
“Take some time off with me then,” Eggsy suggests, hopeful. “Then when Harry gets back we can have a little holiday. God knows neither of you have had one in at least a decade,” he mumbles.
“I can’t, lad. Not for a few weeks, I promise we will though, soon. Right now I really need to work though…”
Eggsy tries to hide his hurt at the fact Merlin is basically telling him to leave, a small disgruntled noise escaping his throat. He clings tighter to the man instead, “No… Come home. I’m only going home when you do,” he mumbles stubbornly.
Merlin sighs again, running a hand over his face. “Okay, give me 30 minutes then I’ll come home. I’ll meet you there.”
Eggsy shakes his head again and remains seated there, for the full 30 minutes.
When they do get back to the house, Eggsy makes Merlin a coffee, slipping a bit of scotch in it to help him sleep.
Eggsy is walking back in, handing him the drink, when Merlin frowns slightly, watching him.
“Have you put on weight?” Merlin didn’t mean for the question to come out sounding so rude and abrupt.
Eggsy blushes self-consciously. “You think I look fat?” he mumbles, anxiety peaking.
“No, no, that’s not what I meant, dear… I’m sorry, I should have phrased it better… it’s just…” Merlin hesitates, studying him closer, making Eggsy uncomfortable. “You smell different.”
Eggsy raises a questioning eyebrow. “What the hell? Has all this working sent you loopy?” he mumbles, smelling under his armpit just to make sure. Yep, he definitely smelled clean and like himself.
Merlin’s eyes go wide and his jaw drops as the penny finally drops.
“What?” Eggsy asks, suddenly very concerned. “What’s wrong? I don’t understand-“
Merlin is up off the sofa, pulling him into his arms, “Nothing is wrong, darling- God, why didn’t Harry or I notice sooner? Fuck-“ Merlin is grinning, hands going to Eggsy’s stomach where, admittedly, he had gained some pounds. “You’re pregnant. I knew something was different, ever since that heat, but I just couldn’t place my finger on what it was-“
Eggsy’s face falls. Pregnant? “What?” he mumbles, a feeling of numbness flooding his body. “But that shouldn’t be possible. I was told I couldn’t have kids.”
“Are you okay?” Both of Merlin’s hands are cupping the sides of his face, forcing him to look into the older man’s face which was now clouded with concern. “Aren’t you happy? This is brilliant news, Harry and I have always wanted children-“
Eggsy is pulling away, shaking his head and taking a step back, mind whirling as it tries to process the information. “But my job- The missions-“ he mumbles.
“Well, you probably won’t be able to do them for a few months lad, maybe a year or so, until after the baby is born.” Eggsy is jealous of how easily the concept falls onto Merlin, how easily he speaks of Eggsy having a “baby” after only just discovering the news.
“No,” he says, shaking his head. “I can’t not do missions, I’ll go fucking crazy-“
Merlin is frowning, stepping cautiously closer again and holding out a hand to the distressed boy.
“Eggsy… You can’t go on missions while pregnant…”
“You can’t stop me,” Eggsy snaps back.
This time Merlin’s eyes cloud with slight anger, not liking his authority being challenged. His jaw twitches slightly.
“I won’t allow my pregnant omega to go on missions,” he states simple, voice a tone lower than it had been before.
“Will you stop saying that word!? Please!” Eggsy runs a hand trough his hair, tugging at it harshly as panic envelopes his body. Without his missions he was nothing, he had nothing to do, he’d be a shell of a person. They were all that got him through life. “You can’t stop me,” he repeats, voice flat. “I ain’t even technically your omega,” he can tell the words hurt Merlin.
The man steps back as though he’s been struck, and instantly Eggsy regrets saying it, but the words are out now and there’s nothing he can do.
“Fuck, I didn’t mean it like that, Merlin, I’m sorry, I just-“ this time it’s Eggsy’s turn to reach out and be rejected. He can see Merlin shaking slightly, he’s not sure if it’s out of pain or anger.
“Don’t, Eggsy. I told you, I won’t let you go on missions, and neither will Harry, end of conversation. I’ll be speaking to Arthur tomorrow,” he turns his back on Eggsy and Eggsy stands rooted to the spot, shocked.
“No, you won’t. You wouldn’t fucking dare. It’s not your place to tell him. I’m unbonded, that means I get to make my own fucking decisions, you can’t control me, fuck- You’re as bad as Dean, you just wanna tell me what I can and can’t do, lock me up like a fucking whore and not allow me out again, coz I’m a fucking omega so I’m property, and you think you own me,” again, the words are out before Eggsy can filter them off, accusatory and harsh.
Merlin spins around and suddenly Eggsy is being pinned against the wall, Merlin taking deep breaths against him, slow and measured.
“Don’t ever fucking speak to me again like that, Eggsy. If you think I’m as bad as Dean, then why are you here? Why don’t you go back to him?” The words feel like a slap to the face but Eggsy supposes that he deserves them.
For a split second he thinks Merlin is going to hit him, and he flinches, hating himself for it. Of course, he doesn’t. He just pulls away, downing his drink and then gathering his things.
“W-where are you g-going?” Eggsy asks quietly, he’s still got his back against the wall, frozen in the same position.
“Out. Thanks for the coffee.” Merlin doesn’t look at him as he leaves, slamming the door shut behind him.
Now that he’s alone, Eggsy can break down. He slides down the wall and pulls his knees up to his chest on the floor, deep sobs wracking his body. Chest feeling like it was collapsing, he struggles to breathe, hyperventilating. He can only describe what he’s feeling as pure pain, throbbing over his body.
His eyes are soaking, red and bloodshot, his nose running, he stays on the floor for god knows how long, crying into his knees. Why couldn’t he just be normal? Why did he have to fuck everything up? He should have just said yes, should have listening to Merlin.
He was pregnant for fucks sake. He’d never get used to hearing that.
He lays down where he is, body curling up into the foetus position on the carpet. When he can’t cry anymore, he just lays there instead, staring blankly at the floor in front of him.
Just over 1 day later, Harry comes home. Eggsy hasn’t moved, hasn’t eaten, hasn’t peed, has just laid there for a solid 27 hours. He doesn’t know this, though. He can’t tell how long it’s been, he just knows that Merlin hasn’t contacted him since walking out, and it leaves a hollow throbbing pain in his chest to think about.
He hardly even hears the door open or the 2 sets of footsteps entering the house. His eyes are closed and he’s shaking, like he has been constantly for the past few hours. He needs his alphas, needs them to tell him that he’s not a bad person, needs them to tell him they love him. But Merlin doesn’t love him, does he? Eggsy said some horrible things and now Merlin hates him. And because Merlin hates him, Harry will hate him too, because Harry loves Merlin more than he loves Eggsy.
He starts to cry again, hiding his face in his knees as though he can hide from the thoughts in his head. The voices are louder, he hears the lounge door open-
“Eggsy? Eggsy!” It’s Harry, jumping towards him, dropping to his knees beside him, panic and confusion on his face.
“Fuck-“ The more distant voice is Merlin’s.
Merlin came back? Probably to tell him to leave.
“What happened? Merlin? What the Hell did you do?” Harry is angry, glaring at Merlin as he gently tries to pry Eggsy’s hands away from his face. “Eggsy, darling? What happened? Did you fall?”
Eggsy manages to shake his head, pulling away from the man.
“When I left him, he was standing there,” Merlin mumbles, hand running over his face, his body telling him to run to the omega. His face is pale and strained. “He probably hasn’t fucking moved since I left him there-“
“You both hate me, Merlin hates me, he left me-“ Eggsy hiccups, stumbling over words. “Told me to go back to Dean- But that ain’t what I want- Don’t want to go back to Dean- I didn’t mean it- I’m sorry-“ he’s slipping into another panic attack, words coming out quicker as his breathing increases.
Harry shoots Merlin another look, a look of “what the fuck did you say that for?”
“Eggsy, dear, can I touch you?” Harry asks softly, not wanting to frighten the boy even more. Eggsy nods slightly, unsure. “Thank you, now I want you to take deep breaths for me, copy me,” Harry gently pulls him up so he’s leaning against his chest, and Eggsy tries to copy his breathing, slowly calming down.
“Eggsy I didn’t mean what I said, I don’t know why I said it,” Merlin is speaking to him now, Eggsy refuses to look at him, keeping his head bowed in submission. Merlin crouches, he’s chewing on his lip anxiously. He’s never seen Eggsy look this bad before, never even truly seen him cry, neither of them had. With his confident persona, it’s easy to forget about Eggsy’s abusive past and his fragile mental state, especially mixed with the pregnancy hormones.
“I told you you should have apologised to him sooner, fuck, Merlin, too fucking stubborn, both of you,” Harry growls, shaking his head. “We need to take him to medical.”
Merlin nods in agreement and Eggsy whimpers. “No, I’m fine. Don’t need medical.”
“You’re severely dehydrated, sweetheart,” Harry tries not to sound too alarmed. “And the baby…” he adds, quieter, cautious, “It could hurt the baby if you don’t go…”
“Merlin told you?” Eggsy asks quietly, his eyes slipping down to his own belly, frowning.
“Yes, Merlin told me. And I think it’s wonderful news, I was so excited when he told me,” he says softly, kissing Eggsy’s head. “But then he told me about you arguing. We’re not going to stop you from doing missions, Eggsy. Merlin was just concerned. You understand how we function, we don’t think about anything else, just want to protect you. That’s why he became angry, you didn’t do anything wrong.”
“I’m sorry, Eggsy,” Merlin says again quietly, he’s reaching out to touch the boy, the contact sends a whimper from him again. “I love you. I didn’t mean it. Fuck, I didn’t know it had hurt you this badly otherwise I would have come back sooner,” he mumbles, shaking his head at himself.
“We can talk about this when we’ve gotten you to medical though, is that okay, sweetheart?” Eggsy nods slightly, and that’s where they take him.
A darker Merlin is starting to emerge in my mind, sorry again guys... I think I just project the worst part of my mind/experiences into this writing so if you continue to read you'll have to endure it, sorry
Weeks later and Eggsy is finally starting to come to terms with the fact he’s having a baby. He doesn’t tell anyone other than his mum, and neither does Harry or Merlin, thankfully.
The older men become concerned for him as he becomes withdrawn, staring into space for a lot of the time, frown on his face as thoughts whirl through his brain. Pre-natal depression? Possibly, it’s something they consider.
They don’t force him not to take missions, but Merlin doesn’t offer him any. The new Handler does, but Eggsy is unsure. He doesn’t want to piss off Merlin again, but he doesn’t feel like himself without them.
“Eggsy, you remember the mission in France? With the nightclubs owned by Mr Valentine and Mr Harvey?” The new Handler asks him, smiling sweetly as she does.
“Yeah, I do,” he blushes, how could he forget?
“Well, they need you to go out there again. Nobody else can do it, you’re the one who’s established a relationship with Harvey, no doubt he’ll remember who you are. Valentine is back in France for 2 weeks, you didn’t meet him last time so this is your opportunity.”
Scratching the back of his head, he considers it for a second. It didn’t look like he had a choice. Besides, he’d enjoy the distraction for a couple of weeks. Granted, Merlin would not be happy with the idea, especially considering the nature of the mission and the high possibility for violence.
“/That/ mission? The mission which required you to be whipped in front of a crowd of people, and suck off that hideous man’s cock?” clearly Merlin is trying not to sound outraged at the information Eggsy has just relayed to him.
“Yes, that one. I’m the only one who can do it. It’s a simple extraction, I just have to get close enough to copy the files from his computer into the database, I can do it when he’s passed out. It’s only 2 weeks,” Eggsy says matter of factly, crossing his arms defensively.
“You’re 4 months pregnant.”
“You can’t go alone.”
“I won’t be alone, I’ll have a team with me.”
“I’m sending Harry too.”
Eggsy groans frustratedly and throws his arms up in the air. This was going in circles. Merlin was just staring at him with the same disagreeing scowl.
“Fine,” he says exasperatedly. “If you want to pull Harry out of other missions so that he can mother me and check that I don’t suck too many cocks then fine.”
Merlin’s eyes narrow, glancing down at his tablet to immediately adjust the mission notes, placing Harry into it.
“You know that’s not what this is about, Eggsy. It’s about your safety, and my child’s.”
“God, I wish you would stop treating me like I’m a weaker person because I’m carrying your fucking kid-“
There’s silence for a second, then Merlin places the tablet down.
“Is that how you feel? Like I think you’re weak?”
Eggsy doesn’t reply, the silence indicating “yes”.
“Is that why you haven’t really been talking to me much?”
Eggsy shrugs, eyes going down to stare at his own feet, discomfort shuddering across his body.
“Come here, lad…”
His feet are moving before he even realises and he’s walking over to Merlin, who pulls him into a tight embrace, arms circling around him like a safety net. Eggsy breathes in his scent, burying his face into the older man’s shoulder.
“I could never think of you as weaker, you’re so strong, you just have to understand that you worry me to death. It’s inevitable in our line of work, and I could just about cope with it beforehand, but now? All I do is worry about you, because I love you so damn much. Harry and I both do. If going on this mission will make you happier, then of course. Do it. I know you’ve felt shit lately, and I blame myself, I just want you to be happy,” Merlin whispers softly into his hair, and Eggsy shuts his eyes, drinking in the words. It’s all he’s wanted to hear for the past few weeks, since their argument.
“I’m sending Harry with you, not because I think you need him, but because I would never forgive myself if something happened to you while you were out in France on your own. Never. I work too much and don’t give you enough attention, but I don’t care any less about you. I’ll work on it, I promise. This baby, although you may not think so right now, is the greatest miracle we could have asked for. They may not be biologically mine, they may be Harry’s, we’ll never know. But I love them with all my heart, as do I love you.”
Eggsy sighs softly, hands tightening on his grip of the man’s clothes as Merlin’s hand travels down to gently cup the small bulge of his belly, rough fingers gently soothing his skin, pressing under his shirt.
He decides to break the tension, giving a small smirk as he mumbles, “You’re a soppy bastard, ya know that?.”
Merlin tuts and rolls his eyes, smirking too, reaching down with one hand to squeeze Eggsy’s arse. “And you’re a cheeky little shit who knows exactly how to ruin a moment,” he mumbles, but the words aren’t hard, they’re humorous.
Eggsy just giggles and presses his arse harder against Merlin’s hand which is now lingering there. He gives it one more pinch then moves away, smiling. “Shoo, off with you,” Merlin swats him away. “You need to get ready for the mission. The prebriefing is downstairs, Harry will meet you there.”
Eggsy spends the start of the plane journey trying to be angry at Harry for agreeing to come along.
“You can’t stay with me the whole time and act like me mum,” Eggsy warns, raising an eyebrow at Harry who just delicately raises his teacup to his mouth, taking a sip.
“I know that Eggsy, I know how to do my job.”
Eggsy hums for a second then plops down onto the large seat with him, swinging his legs over Harry’s and nuzzling his neck with his chin.
“Careful, you’ll spill my tea-“ Harry chastises softly.
“Don’t care,” he mumbles into his skin, causing Harry to laugh and just pull him closer. “Let’s make the most of this while we can, yeah? Before those other men mark me up.”
Harry sighs with a small growl, “Thank you for that thought, dear,” he mumbles sarcastically.
They stay there like that, Eggsy breathing in Harry’s scent, trying to take in as much of it as he can. He knows he shouldn’t really do this, the other alphas in the clubs will be able to smell Harry on him but he doesn’t care. He needs this.
He kisses along his neck, mouthing gently at the sensitive skin there, along his prominent jawline, tugging at the collar of Harry’s white shirt.
“Stop wiggling, boy,” Harry mumbles, rolling his eyes with a smile. Eggsy decides to return the roll, but with his hips instead of his eyes.
Eggsy relishes in the moan it earns. “Are you sure? Feels like you’re enjoying it. Is that your gun in your pocket?” He teases, knowing exactly what it is and repeating the action until one of the cabin crew stumble into the room, glancing at them.
“Oh! I’m sorry, I should have knocked…” he mumbles, scratching the back of his head and glancing at Eggsy, at the seductive slant of his back, the hands in Harry’s hair. He’s clearly an alpha, trying to hide the look that crosses his face, but Eggsy notices the way he fumbles slightly with the front of his pants.
“What do you want? I’m busy,” Harry growls, hands tightening possessively on the omegas hips.
The alphas eyes narrow. “Arthur wants to talk to you, if you’re available.”
“Well, I’m not. Shut the door on your way out,” Harry snaps back.
Eggsy giggles as the alpha fights his primal urges arising from being challenged by the man, but he does leave, and does shut the door.
“Turning Arthur down for me? I must be special,” Eggsy teases.
They aren’t interrupted again.
They arrive too soon, settling into their hotel. Harry is given a different room to Eggsy which sucks but makes sense. They aren’t meant to know each other.
The first night is uneventful, Eggsy turns up to the main club, but doesn’t find Harvey or Valentine. By the end of it he’s tired and irritable, his feet ache, too many dirty old men had hit on him, and he just wants to go home and sleep.
Fuck, he felt like an old man.
What happened to pulling all nighters and staying out on the town? He couldn’t even drink the alcohol to help the time pass quicker. He felt fat, maybe he couldn’t find Harvey because he wasn’t interested in him anymore, maybe they could see the growing bump? Nobody wants to fuck a pregnant omega.
He goes back to the hotel, hormones a mess, trying not to cry. He wasn’t cut out for this right now, he’s not good enough. Harry should just take over now. Harvey would find him attractive.
“Hey, kiddo. What’s up?” Merlin’s voice crackles across the intercom, accent soft and comforting in Eggsy’s ear.
“I couldn’t find him,” he mumbles, dropping down on the bed, making the blankets into a little cocoon around himself. His mum had apparently told him this was “nesting” and was normal, it made him feel better anyway.
He curled up and cradled his stomach.
“That’s not your fault, he probably just wasn’t in the club,” Merlin says reasonably. “Don’t worry yourself too much. Harry told me you looked shifty in there, try and calm down.”
“I look fat.”
Eggsy hears Merlin suppress a laugh and he frowns, glaring slightly.
“You don’t look fat, darling-“ Merlin tries to sound serious.
“Why are you laughing at me?” Eggsy pouts.
“I’m not laughing at you… You just sound so strange, so unlike yourself, so…I don’t know, feminine?”
Eggsy glares even harder, “Fuck off,” he mumbles, rolling over.
“You look as attractive as you always do. I’d fuck you into next week, so I know Harvey would too. You just have to be patient.”
“Fine,” he sighs, “I love you.”
“I love you too. Try to stay safe.”
The intercom switches off.
It not until the third night Eggsy notices a strange hum in the crowd, a buzzing energy he hadn’t felt the first few nights. He’s nursing his non-alcoholic drink at the bar, scanning the crowd when he notices him.
He’s near the centre of the room, a man and woman at his side. Eggsy can see the outline of the gun in his suit jacket. He makes a mental note of it.
His hand clenches around the glass in his hand as his eyes meet Harvey’s, the familiar rush of adrenaline filling his body, making his heart pace. Merlin’s voice is instantly in his ear, “Your vitals are peaking Gawain, keep calm. Has he seen you?”
Eggsy gives the tiniest nod, making it seem like he was nodding at Harvey, hoping Merlin can see it.
He looks away again, trying to act like he couldn’t care less if Harvey saw him, contrary to how he truly felt. What if the man didn’t recognise him? It had been a while. He just hoped to fuck that he’d made enough of an impression last time.
After all, he was an omega in a club full of alphas, yet he was probably the only omega with more than 2 items of clothing on, he was in his Kingsman suit for fucks sake, it was hard not to notice him. After a few minutes he begins to get worried, worried he hasn’t interested the man enough.
The worry decreases slightly as he feels a heavy hand on his waist, forcing him to turn around, and the deep voice that booms, “Is that you? I thought it was you. Long time no see.” He sounds slightly pissed off at the length of time it has been since his encounter with Eggsy. His french accent is strong, making the words feel thicker.
Eggsy is careful to keep his eyes lowered, making enough eye contact to keep the man intrigued, but not enough to seem disrespectful. He really didn’t fancy being bent over and spanked tonight.
Slowly, calculated, he takes another sip of his drink before putting the glass down on the bar.
“So you’ve missed me?” Eggsy’s lips quirk up into a smirk, trying to portray the cheeky and playful young man he used to do so many times on nights working the streets. The confident persona fell easily onto him, an extra part of sultry added on top, just to be sure.
“Hmm, I have not missed that insolent mouth of yours, too cocky for your own good, boy. You’ll end up over my knee all too quickly if you carry on,” his voice is rough, arousal evident in how close he stands to Eggsy, the two fingers which reach up to grip his jaw, thumb and forefinger squeezing until his mouth opens slightly and he lets out a gasp. He attempt to widen his eyes into his best innocent look, mouth forced into an “O” shape from the grip of the man’s hand.
“I’m sorry, sir, it’s just…I’ve missed you. I’ve missed your cock…” the words juxtapose his expression, quiet and explicit, without a care for anyone standing near him. He’s portraying his best “posh” accent, trying to sound like he has more money than he does.
The cough from Harvey’s side makes him jump slightly but he doesn’t look away from the man’s lips, gaze trained there.
“You gonna introduce me to your friend?” the voice is American, uncaring, lazy.
After hesitation, Harvey let’s go of Eggsy, and for a split second he feels sad for the loss of contact, wanting it back immediately.
“This is Mr Valentine. He’s my business partner,” Harvey nods towards the American and Eggsy tries his best to smile coyly.
“Hello, sir. Wonderful to meet you.” He bows his head slightly in a show of submission, exposing his neck. Then he decides to fuck with them a bit. “Will I be tasting his cock too, sir? Or would he prefer to hurt me?” Eggsy asks Harvey sweetly and the man just smirks at him.
“Nah nah, I ain’t into that, sorry. Truth is, this BDSM shit ain’t my scene, can’t stand blood-“ Valentine shudders, glancing around the club and the numerous sado-masochistic devices filling the room.
Eggsy has to try not to laugh, biting his lip. “Strange for you to own a club like this then…”
The woman next to them scoffs slightly in agreement. He notices the blades for feet she has, from the knee down.
“This is Gazelle. She cleans up the blood for me before I can see it, causes most of it too-“ Valentine grumbles.
“Pleasure to meet you,” Eggsy says softly, gently taking the back of her hand to his lips. She lets him, watching him silently and intently as he performs the movement, as though she’s still trying to figure him out.
“Now that we’ve had our little introductions, would you like to go somewhere more private? Or would you rather drop to your knees in the middle of the club for me? Let everyone know who you belong to for tonight?” Harvey’s voice is back, low and measured and filling Eggsy’s head, like a predator encircling it’s prey. “I can already smell alpha on you so that will have to change,” he turns his nose up slightly in disgust. “Have you been a slut? Fucking the other men before running into me?”
Eggsy is confused at the growl in his ear until he realises it’s Merlin, obviously disgruntled by how they’re talking to his omega, watching and listening to the whole ordeal.
Eggsy wonders whether to keep his pride and remain standing or appease the older man and drop to his knees, eventually deciding on the latter. He goes down gracefully, years of practise perfecting the act. He looks up at the man from under his eyelashes, biting his lip. “Please, sir. Wherever you want to go. Back to your place?” he suggests, trying not to sound too hopeful. He needed to get to that fucking computer.
The hand is threading into his hair, forcing his head closer to the man’s cock, straining against his trouser pants. Truth be told, Eggsy would rather like to get a bit of action, wouldn’t mind sucking the man off at the very least.
He’s thinking about that when a different voice makes him freeze, turning his blood cold in pure panic at the words that are called out loudly to the 4 of them.
“Eggy? Nice to see you again, chap. On your knees, like you should be. This is a good start.”
Angst is my middle name...
Warning: torture/rape/charlie being an asshole
If you want fluff, this is the wrong place for you! This shits dark man I'm sorry, skip it if you don't want detailed description of Eggsy being broken apart
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Charlie fucking Hesketh.
What the /fuck/ was Charlie doing here? Oh god, this was so not okay. Fuck, fuck-
“GAWAIN, I repeat, your cover has been blown, you need to get out of there now. And you, Galahad. Now!” Merlin’s voice is quick and frantic in his ear. “Eggsy, for fucks sake, lad, move your arse-“
Eggsy’s body finally catches up with his brain and he moves to stand up but is quickly pushed back down again, Harvey’s unforgiving grip in his hair tightening to painful levels, causing him to cry out as his head is yanked backwards.
“No, no, no. Where do you think you’re going?” Harvey just looks confused, if anything. He looks at Charlie with disgust, repulsion on his face, but he listens to him still, the pieces slowly forming together in his mind as he realises he’s been stitched up. “What did you call him? Eggy? Who is this Eggy you speak of? And who are you?”
“Eggsy,” the young man can’t help but grit out between clenched teeth, correcting him.
“This, my friend, is Gary Unwin. Didn’t he tell you?” Charlie has that smug look on his face, as though the whole world is falling into place at his fingertips. Harvey glances at Eggsy at the change of name, and the grip in his hair tightens fractionally more. His other hand is moving to his jacket, resting on that gun Eggsy had made a mental note of before.
Fuck. Fucking Charlie.
“He’s a trained spy, works for the company which goes by the name of Kingsman. Looks like they have their eye on you, sir,” Charlie is grinning away as he relays the information, shattering Eggsy’s cover into a million pieces.
Eggsy needs to do something, but he doesn’t know what. Harry couldn’t help him now, he was so fucked.
“if Eggy is here, then there’ll be others. And also, I would strip him if I was you. Very carefully. Every item of that suit is built to kill someone. I’d be especially careful of the poisoned blade in his shoe. The glasses relay a video feed back to the office.”
Without warning, dozens of Harvey and Valentine’s men are surrounding him, stripping his clothes off until he’s virtually naked. He shivers in the cool air of the room, people are looking because of the commotion of large number of men now surrounding him, but other than that they don’t seem to care.
“Clear the room. Now,” Harvey starts ordering his men around in French, his voice deceptively calm and quiet. Eggsy manages to make out, “Find any of the other men in the suits and bring them to me,” amongst the words and he starts to panic. Fuck, what if Harry hadn’t had time to get out?
How the fuck did Charlie know Eggsy would even be here? He must have had inside information. Probably the new Handler. He was going to kill her when he got back.
Even if it were her, it didn’t make sense. What would her motive be? Money? What was Charlie’s? Hate?
Harvey pulls Eggsy up onto his feet, pulling him against his body in an unforgiving grip. He’s attained a knife, which is now running up the inside of Eggsy’s thigh slowly. “Is this true? Where are the other men? Your backup?”
Eggsy secures his lips tightly shut, refusing to speak, just staring straight ahead. One of the men has snatched his glasses from him, laying them down on the bar so they’re pointing towards them, watching the scene unfold. They haven’t taken his earpiece out so he can still hear Merlin, swearing and cursing and sending numerous teams to his location, but he knows they won’t arrive for a while. He’s just glad Harry managed to get out.
The knife now slides even further up, thankfully past his dick, to his stomach, slowly encircling the skin around his belly button. His breath hitches slightly and he hopes the man didn’t hear.
“Come on, boy. You like to stay quiet at the start, but I know exactly how long it takes for you to crack, remember that,” the man warns and Eggsy scowls. Charlie is just watching now, enjoying the show.
“Eggsy, I’ve sent 2 teams out to you. You just need to hang on for 30 or so minutes, sweetheart. It’s going to be okay,” Merlin’s voice has a wobble to it, he’s trying to stay calm for Eggsy’s sake. Eggsy takes a deep breath and closes his eyes. 30 minutes. He could last that long.
“You’re with child?”
Eggsy is slightly shocked at that, his eyes flicking open again to train on Harvey’s through the mirror opposite them.
“Now that I see your stomach, and can smell you properly… Yes, you’re carrying a baby, aren’t you,” he man growls into his ear, the knife pressing slightly harder into his belly now, drawing blood. It takes everything in him not to whimper, struggling slightly and making the cut worse.
“Such a shame, a waste of innocent life, but I hope you realise that won’t make me go any easier on you,” he growls, pressing the knife in hard, about 1.5 inches deep into his skin, causing Eggsy to cry out in pain.
He gets flashbacks to Dean, closing his eyes to try and escape both the throbbing sensation in his abdomen and the thought of his stepdad.
With that, the contact is gone, the man moving away. He distantly realises Valentine has left, swearing and on the verge of vomiting.
He doubles over, clutching the steadily bleeding wound. It’s not deep enough to do any organ damage, he doesn’t know if it’s deep enough to harm the baby.
Charlie is laughing somewhere, he can hear him but can’t focus long enough to see him. “So Harry was breeding you, you little bitch. I knew it. No wonder they kicked me out and kept you, you’re their slut.”
The words just make him angry and he staggers up, tries to find Charlie but is dragged back down again by strong hands.
“Okay, boy. I suppose we’ll be doing this the hard way then. But you know I like it like that, don’t you?” Harvey grins wickedly and Eggsy suppresses a shudder.
He speaks in French again but Eggsy struggles to understands him, anxiety slowly rising until it threatens to overflow, his breathing coming short and fast, sending pain to his wound with every breath.
“Eggsy, darling, breathe,” it’s Merlin again. “The team are 27 minutes away.” Eggsy doesn’t know if it’s better or worse having Merlin in his ear. It certainly makes him feel more likely to cry, he just wants to be home again, cuddled up with Harry and Merlin on the sofa, watching something trashy like Desperate Housewives on the TV and drinking tea.
Harvey’s men return. One seems to be holding a variety of canes and whips. The other seems to be holding a selection of gags.
The man wastes little time choosing the items he wants before returning to Eggsy.
“Let’s go through the rules, wouldn’t want to forget my dom-etiquette now, would I?” Harvey smirks. “First, I’m going to fuck your mouth, just because I can. Then, I’m going to whip you, and you’re going to tell me everything about why you’re here, and what you wanted from me. If you still aren’t speaking after I whip you, then I’m going to allow Gazelle to play with you. Trust me, she’s rather messy. Understood?”
Eggsy just stares ahead of him, refusing to acknowledge the other man or the words. He can take this, of course he can, he’s taken worse before, he just wonders if the baby can. A sharp backhanded slap sends him reeling, bringing him back from his thoughts.
“I said, understood?” Harvey’s voice is lower this time, slightly less amused and more annoyed.
Eggsy spits at his shoes defiantly, glaring up at him. The man truly isn’t amused now.
“Disrespectful little bitch,” he growls, slapping him again for good measure. “Now, open your mouth-“
If anything, Eggsy closes his mouth tighter, clenching his teeth so hard he tastes blood.
“Come on, dear. You weren’t putting up this much of a fight last time, if I remember correctly you were practically gagging for me to fill all your holes with my cock.”
Eggsy’s face flushes and he grinds his teeth in disgust at the memory. “Fuck off,” he grumbles, pissing the man off further.
This earns him a quick right hook to his face, harder than the previous two, sending him spluttering and spitting up some blood.
“Is that the worst you can do?” Eggsy manages to choke on a laugh. “My stepdad hits me harder than that.” Predictably, this earns him another fist to the face, he feels his lip split.
He can hear Merlin growling in his ear, helpless on the other end of the intercom. There’s nothing he can do. He has to just sit here and watch his boy be abused. He can only describe the feeling as the worst thing he’s ever possibly endured, his heart aching at every noise of pain Eggsy emits. He contacts the teams, telling them to hurry the fuck up, but he knows they can only go as fast as they can go. This was all his fault, he shouldn’t have let Eggsy go on the mission.
Harvey is spitting out obscenities in French, his fingers are back on Eggsy’s jaw like before, this time forcing his mouth wide open, gripping his chin like a vice.
“As I can’t trust you not to bite me, I’m taking the precaution of using an ‘O’ ring gag.” He talks as though he’s performing a scene in front of the crowds at the club. Although the crowds are now just his bodyguards, aroused and watching as Eggsy is picked apart. And unlike a scene, the act is rather less than consensual.
The gag feels impossibly massive, forcing his mouth open and causing his jaw to ache. Then, hands are on his wrists, rope tying them tightly behind his back. He sways slightly on his knees, unbalanced.
Without much delicacy, Harvey puts his cock to Eggsy’s lips. He fits perfectly into the ring with a little space round it all so he doesn’t get stuck. He doesn’t exactly shove his cock down Eggsy’s throat, but he does press in slow and steadily, not stopping until he’s at the hilt and even then, only pulling back and pressing in again without pause. His hand is gripping Eggsy’s head, holding him still so he can’t pull away. The pace in slow but unrelenting, until Harvey decides to just not pull out again.
Eggsy thanks god then for his years on the street, but even with the experience, his throat threatens to close, his gag reflex flaring up at as he struggles to breathe around the dick filling his mouth, unmoving.
He does choke slightly then, and once he’s started he can’t stop. Fuck, he needed air-
He struggles against the grip in his hair, trying desperately to pull off as his muscles convulse, body trying to breathe in vital oxygen. Harvey only smirks above him and holds him tighter, shoving in until Eggsy’s nose is pressed into his pubic hair. The alpha is far from small, at least 10 inches long and 3 inches wide. At least.
Eggsy doesn’t know how long he lasts before he starts to see black dots, his body convulsing involuntarily as his eyes flicker shut-
Just as he’s about to lose consciousness the man is pulling back. He curls over, facing away from Harvey, hand still in his hair holding him upright. There’s a string of saliva, slightly tainted with blood, still connecting him to the man’s cock. He heaves, chest rising and falling rapidly in an attempt to gain as much oxygen as possible.
He whimpers and shakes his head again as he’s pulled back to the cock, and it’s placed into his mouth again. No, no, no, not again-
Harvey repeats this procedure another 3 times, bringing Eggsy to the brink of unconsciousness but stopping just before he topples over the edge. Eggsy almost wishes he did just pass out. Then he wouldn’t have to endure it any longer.
His throat and lungs are burning, screaming at him to stop.
He realises what Harvey is trying to do, he’s trying to break him, and it’s working.
Merlin is speaking to him again but he can’t understand the words, he feels lightheaded and dizzy and the world is spinning, everything a blur around him.
He mentally slaps himself. Focus Eggsy, come on. You can do this. You’ve taken worse. He reminds himself, replaying the words to himself as he’s hoisted up, dragged over to some restraints.
His hands are untied from the rope, and as they are he manages to throw a clumsy punch at one of the men holding him, getting him in the jaw and earning himself another smack in return.
Harvey doesn’t even bother to zip his trousers up, just tucking his still hard cock back in his trousers for the time being. Eggsy doesn’t like that, shivering slightly as cold metal is now clasped around his wrists and ankles. He didn’t want to have the cock in his mouth ever again, and he certainly didn’t want it anywhere else. But if he’s still hard then that’s probably what he’d have to endure.
For a second he wonders how he managed to survive being treated like this, all those years walking the streets. It seems like a lifetime away, now he’s experienced Kingsman luxury, and the protection of Merlin and Harry.
Perhaps Charlie was right. Maybe at the end of the day this is all he’s good for.
Eggsy is standing on shaky legs, arms held above him, unable to move. He hates the feeling, it makes him panic. Where was Harry? Why wasn’t he back yet to save him?
He feels so exposed as Harvey circles him, long whip in his hand. It’s thinner and longer than the one he’d endured last time, and even that one had left marks on him for weeks. He’s trying his best not to hyperventilate, he wants to stay calm otherwise this is going to hurt like a bitch-
The first crack of the whip against his skin sets his body on fire. If he didn’t have the gag in his mouth he would have screamed, instead he just lets out a choked sob.
Hands are roughly tugging the gag from his mouth, knocking his teeth as it’s pulled away and thrown on the ground. Shutting his dry mouth he grimaces and turns his face away from the man, unable to keep eye contact. As strong as he usually is, Eggsy’s body is going into meltdown. He hasn’t felt so alone and trapped since being a prostitute.
“He lied to you,” Eggsy manages to choke out, spitting in Charlie’s direction. His voice is hoarse from the abuse his throat had endured.
“Why would he lie to me?” Harvey growls, shaking his head, the crack of the whip splitting through the air as another strike lands on Eggsy’s back, causing him to cry out and try to arch away from the pain.
“Now, I already know who you work for. You’re going to tell me more about this ‘Kingsman’. Where are they located? London?” Harvey speaks in a low and measured tone, as though his whole body isn’t vibrating with the adrenaline and the high of being able to hurt the omega. He’s another one of those fucked up breed that are completely unaffected by the distress signals and hormones exiting from Eggsy’s body.
Eggsy keeps his mouth closed. He ain’t saying a word.
He tenses his muscles instinctively, expecting the next blow.
“Eggsy, darling, listen to my voice. Try and concentrate on my words. You need to relax your body. The more you tense, the more it’s going to hurt. You know this. Take a deep breath and when you breathe out again, let your shoulders go limp,” Merlin sounds…scared? Yes, that’s fear Eggsy can sense in his voice. But he concentrates on that, trying not to let it affect him. He does as he’s told, and imagines he’s being punished by Merlin, not this man.
He’s right of course, it hurts less when his muscles are limp. He still shakes afterwards, flowing through the aftershocks. He can feel blood dripping down his back, and can still feel every inch of skin the whip has touched.
They continue like this for a while, Eggsy refusing to answer questions, listening to Merlin’s voice trying to calm him, being hit repeatedly.
“What did you want from me?” No answer. Another hit.
“How did you know I would be here?” No answer. Another hit.
He loses track of time, wondering how much longer he can take the attack before he passes out from pain alone. Kingsman had trained him for situations like this, but they’d never really been as bad as this. Harvey held a new level of anger and venom, which was translated into the torture device and the intensity with which he abused Eggsy.
When the whip wasn’t enough and he wanted to be more personal, he threw it down. Glancing at it, Eggsy saw the blood pooling around the item on the floor. He whimpers, ashamed of himself as he does, gritting his teeth in an attempt to steel his mind.
“I’m going to ask you one more time, omega. Why are you here?” Harvey’s voice is rough and quiet, directly into Eggsy’s ear, he’s panting from the effort he put into swinging the device that had now littered Eggsy’s back with welts and cuts.
Eggsy diligently stares ahead, barely able to look at himself in the reflection in the mirror. He looked like a mess, broken and bloody and sweaty.
“Fine.” The word chills the younger male, sending his body shuddering. He gasps out at the punch which lands hard to his stomach, but no noise comes out. Merlin is swearing in his ear, shouting at the team who were supposed to be there to extract him, shouting at Harvey, shouting at Eggsy.
The next punches that land are a blur, he finds himself disassociating like he used to when Dean hurt him. He distantly feels the clenching pain in his stomach, the blood that drops down his thighs. He hears Harvey in the background stating, “Alright, boys, he’s yours,” then the hundreds of hands which all grab for him, the cock he feels against his arse, forcing in, the hand in his hair, the tugging on his restraints, cutting into his wrists. Perhaps that’s the moment he realises he’s given up. He sees Charlie staring on smugly, enjoying watching his enemy be ruined completely.
He wonders if Harry and Merlin will forgive him when the baby dies. He doesn’t know if he wants them too. Maybe he’ll die too and then he won’t have to deal with the aftermath.
These thoughts drown his mind as his body is pushed to the limit.
The men are dropping like flies around him, they’re no longer focusing on him, spinning around and pulling their guns out nervously, trying to find the hidden assassin.
No, not one assassin, multiple.
When Eggsy gathers enough energy to focus, he can see where some of the gunmen are. They’ve surrounded the rafters, hiding in the dark. The men on the floor don’t have a chance. They try to fire back but they’re exposed, unable to make good aim when they’re trying to dodge their own bullets.
It’s a massacre, they’re all dead in less than 3 minutes. All except Eggsy, Harvey, and Charlie.
Merlin must have them on a group intercom. “Good job, boys. Nobody touches Harvey or Charlie, I’ll be dealing with them when you get back. They take a separate plane to Gawain, understood? For fucks sake, someone take him straight to the safe house with the medical team-“ his voice slowly grows louder with anxiety and stress.
He just needs Eggsy to be okay.
Sorry again, please leave comments, even if just to tell me what a bad person I am...
The aftermath. Some fluff I guess, angst and pain too
While Harry unites him, Eggsy bites his lip and tries his hardest not to cry from the pain of being moved. A protective blanket is draped across his injuries, he can smell the antiseptic on the material.
His stomach is cramping painfully and he can barely breathe from the pain. Short, sharp gasps are his only way of taking in oxygen. His ribs ache, his back is raw.
His mind goes back to all those months ago, when Harry found him on the floor in London. Here he was again. Same condition, different circumstances. He somehow feels worse this time, like he’s disappointed Harry and Merlin by fucking up the mission. What if they blame him?
“Eggsy, can you hear me?” Harry is concerned, his face close to Eggsy’s, eyes wide. He must have been speaking to him for a while but Eggsy couldn’t hear him, or wasn’t listening.
He feels like he’s dropping, but that also feels totally wrong because he wasn’t a sub in a scene, he was tortured. The world feels like it’s 100ft under water and he’s still sinking, his mind separate to his body.
They’d somehow made it into a car, just him and Harry. A sob escapes Eggsy’s mouth, much to his dismay. He curls forward into himself, excruciating pain throbbing through his back at any contact from the car seat, and throbbing through his abdomen. The pain is the only thing dragging him back up again and stopping him from completely drowning.
“Harry, I can’t take it- Please-“ he doesn’t really know what he’s begging for.
“I don’t know what I can do to help you,” Harry says, exasperated. He’s trying to concentrate on driving, eyes flicking to Eggsy every few seconds, at every quiet whimper.
He’s shaking now, head hanging between his legs, arms wrapped tightly around himself. He needs Harry to touch him. He needs the contact, he can’t take the distance any longer.
As if sensing what his omega needs, he reaches out his left hand, pressing it gently to the back of Eggsy’s head, softly rubbing his scalp soothingly when he doesn’t have to change gear. Initially Eggsy flinches at the contact, then he leans into it, sighing.
“Thank you,” he murmurs, closing his eyes.
“It’s okay, sweetheart. Try and breathe through the pain, deep breaths for me,” Harry’s voice is comforting, reminding him that he’s safe again, he’s no longer with that awful man.
They arrive at the safe house after what feels like forever. There’s a Kingsman medical team on standby, helping him out of the car and into the medical ward.
“Rape and beating injuries evident. Is there anything else we need to know about?” the woman asks, hurried. Even through the commotion, Eggsy finds it strange that she has an English accent. The more he thinks about it, the more he recognises her.
“You were transferred from the estate, weren’t you? I recognise ya,” he groans out, forcing himself to smile a little. She looks taken aback but turns her attention briefly to him, nodding and smiling weakly. “Yes. We can talk about this later, but I need to know, is there any other important information you should tell me now?”
“He’s pregnant,” Harry interrupts, sighing. “He seems to be experiencing abdominal cramps, and bleeding.” It sounds like he’s struggling to get the words out, struggling to accept the inevitable news that Eggsy is most likely having a miscarriage.
“Are you his guardian?” the woman asks, her voice has turned sadder and softer at the news, trying to remain optimistic but not holding out too hard.
“Okay, let’s get him sorted out then…You’ll get through this, Eggsy.”
When he wakes, for a split second he believes he’s back at the flat in London, the one with Dean and his mutts. For a second he believes Dean’s voice will come out of nowhere, a fist will come down, a demand for money will be made, he’ll be kicked out into the cold street.
When it doesn’t come, he begins to remember the events of the night before. He suddenly wishes he was back at the flat, because remembering how wrong the mission had gone sends new waves of pain across him. Hard sobs wrack his body.
“Harry? Merlin?” He sounds weak, broken. The room is empty, he’s in a soft bed, IV attached to him, bandages wrapped around his torso. He makes the mistake of rolling onto his back and it brings fresh tears to his eyes. “Shitting hell,” he grumbles, every movement makes him feel like he’s being stabbed. He spots a little red button next to his bed, deciding to press it.
The woman from the night before comes through the door 2 minutes later, along with Harry.
“My darling, you’re awake-“ Harry looks like he’s on the verge of crying, rushing to his side and kneeling down, holding Eggsy’s hand close to his chest.
The woman smiles at him, looking less tense than the night before. “Eggsy, how are you feeling? Other than shit, obviously,” she says softly.
He grumbles, biting his lip. “Could do with some more painkillers?”
She shakes her head, “Sorry, I can’t give you anymore. It wouldn’t be safe for the baby.”
Eggsy frowns, glances at Harry, then back at her. “The baby…is okay?”
Breaking into a grin, she nods. “There was a moment where I thought we’d lost her, but your little girl is a fighter, I can tell you that. Her heartbeat is back to being strong and steady.”
“My little girl?” Eggsy asks, in disbelief.
“Oh shit! Did you not know? I’m sorry, I thought you knew…” her eyes go wide and apologetic. Harry just laughs from his side, putting a hand out gently to touch Eggsy’s stomach.
“It’s okay, Kate, don’t worry.”
“Kate! I knew I recognised you! You’re Roxy’s girl, aren’t you?” Eggsy grins. She shuffles awkwardly and nods.
“Yes, just my luck that as we become official I get relocated to France.”
Eggsy pouts sadly, Roxy had mentioned that, he’s trying to soak all this new information in when he realises, “Merlin- Is he here?” He tries not to sound too hopeful.
Harry sighs and shakes his head, “No, he’s still at the estate, I’m sorry. He tried to come over but it just wasn’t possible, seeing as they’ve now lost another Handler, the filthy little rat who let Charlie know everything about the mission.”
Kate bites her lip, realising that it’s probably appropriate to leave, judging by the rising emotions in the room. The door clicks softly shut behind her.
“What even happened? Everything was fine and then…it wasn’t. And you were gone, but I was so worried they were gonna find you and kill you,” he plays with the bandage on his stomach as he talks quietly, pulling at a loose thread.
Harry sighs and put his head down, hiding his face in the crook of Eggsy’s arm.
“I’m sorry, fuck, I’m sorry Eggsy. I let you down.” The younger boy is pretty sure he can feel and hear Harry crying as he talks.
“’No, you didn’t-“
He’s cut off, “I did, Eggsy. I should have stayed. But when I heard Merlin on the intercom, I thought you were safe, I thought you were escaping too. But then I got out the building and that’s when it all kicked off, I couldn’t get back inside to help you. I had to just fucking sit there and wait. What kind of an alpha am I?”
“Harry,” he sighs, “What happened ain’t your fault. Charlie’s a twat, so is Harvey. They would have done what they did whether you were in the room or not.”
Harry opens his mouth to argue then shuts it again, not knowing what to say because Eggsy was right.
“Is there anything I can do for you now? To make you feel better?” Harry asks gently. His hand his still subconsciously moving on Eggsy’s belly.
“Take me home?”
“Okay, Eggsy. Bedrest for the next few months, I’m afraid. From what Roxy’s told me, that’s gonna be pretty difficult for you. But you really can’t risk any more strain to your body. Mr Hart, that means you have to be extra nice to him, you and Merlin both. I don’t know if it would be easier for one of you to take some time off Kingsman, I wouldn’t recommend he be left alone. As soon as you get back, you’ll be referred to medical on the estate. You’ll most likely have to do at least 6 weeks standard psychiatric therapy. No more missions, Eggsy. Not until the baby is born. Understood?” Kate smiles at him and pats him on the arm. “Say hello to Roxy for me when you get back. Tell her I miss her,” she looks sad momentarily but shakes her head and passes the papers over to Harry, showing them out to the car.
The plane journey home is tense. Eggsy is uncomfortable. His wounds have healed slightly over the past week or so in France but it still hurts to move.
“Merlin is distraught, Eggsy. I don’t think you’re ready for what is about to happen. Harvey and Charlie were flown over a week ago…Merlin…well…he’s already started on them.” Harry is speaking softly into Eggsy’s hair. They’re sat together in a big comfortable leather seat.
“Oh…” He doesn’t know how to feel. He wants them to hurt, but he doesn’t want Merlin to lose himself in the process.
They don’t speak for the rest of the way back, anxiety thick on Eggsy’s mind.
When they get back, Eggsy’s given a wheelchair. He hates it, hates feeling powerless, hates having to be manoeuvred by Harry, like dead weight. He’s taken straight to medical, isn’t even allowed to talk to Merlin who is apparently “busy”.
Familiar faces prod and poke at Eggsy until he feels like he’s going insane. “Don’t take this the wrong way Eggsy, but I’m getting tired of seeing you here,” one of the nurses chastises, shaking her head at him. “The next time I see you better be when this baby comes out, healthy and happy.” He smiles a little, biting his lip.
“Hopefully… Trust me love, I’m getting tired of seeing you too.” He giggles when she swats him gently on the shoulder, wincing after.
“Well, you’re all clear. Those guys in France stitched you up well. They’ve told you about the therapy?”
“Yes. Do I have to go?”
He scowls at her slightly. Just as he’s about to argue with her Roxy comes tumbling through the door.
“Eggsy!” Her arms fly around him, and it takes everything within him not to cry out in pain.
“Careful, Rox’-“ he croaks out.
“You bastard!” He flinches slightly in reply. “Why didn’t you tell me you’re having a baby? Thought I was your best friend,” she pouts, pulling away to look at him properly.
“You are, I didn’t tell anyone,” he mumbles.
“Fucking hell, Eggsy Unwin, you will be the death of me. Off galavanting and getting hurt and making babies without me,” she sighs. “I’m glad you’re okay, though. You’re okay, right?” She’s inching closer to him, reaching out to hold his hand.
He shrugs slightly, “I’m alright, bruv, had worse,” he lies.
“You don’t have to lie to me, Eggsy. You don’t sound right…”
Closing his mouth, he can’t bring himself to speak, feeling like he’ll cry if he does.
“You can talk to me, Eggsy,” she sighs, gently brushing a piece of hair from his sweaty forehead.
“Fuck, Roxy, it was horrible. That cunt Charlie was there, blew my cover, then Harvey hurt me and Harry was gone but I didn’t know if he was safe or not, fuck-“ Once he’s started rambling he can’t stop. Roxy just gently pulls him close, this time careful of his wounds.
“It’s gonna be okay, Eggsy. Everything is going to be okay. Do you want to stay with Harry and Merlin tonight? Or do you want to come back to mine? Or I can take you to your mother’s?” she asks, not pressuring him.
He seriously considers his mum’s, but then decides he doesn’t want Daisy to see him like this, nor want to trigger bad memories for his mum, she’s seen him in this condition too many times. He thinks about Roxy’s, but eventually decides to just go home with Harry, mostly because Harry would hardly let him out of his sight, alpha hormones going wild with the confusion of the past few weeks.
When he gets home, he doesn’t talk much. He doesn’t feel like he can talk to Harry, feels like the older male is too fragile mentally to hear about what Eggsy experienced. Merlin had probably already told him most of it anyway.
Speaking of Merlin, he wasn’t there. The flat was empty. Eggsy hadn’t seen him since getting back.
He and Harry just sit down on the sofa, cuddled together with a soft blanket and hot chocolate, sitting in comfortable silence until eventually Eggsy falls asleep, in the early hours of the morning.
Sorry I didn't post last night guys, I've just started a new job (lol kill me) so basically don't have a life at the moment coz I work one job 8:30-4 then my other job 6-10:30 so pls forgive me. If anyone has any ideas where they want this story to go please tell me, thanks for reading, your comments keep me writing (ps I'm considering writing a Game of a thrones fanfiction, any of you guys watch the show? Any thoughts on the idea?) xx
So, I've actually had this written for quite a while so if there's mistakes in there it's because I haven't proof read it again, sorry!
“I have to go back to work, Eggsy. I was surprised Arthur gave me these few days off to stay with you, but we’re not legally bonded. I’m not entitled to any more time off, I’m not even entitled to any paternity leave for fucks sake,” Harry sighs, stroking his hand through Eggsy’s hair.
“Take me with you, to work,” he says, hopeful, changing tactic when he realises Harry really can’t stay at home all day with him.
“You know what the doctors said, bedrest,” Harry raises an eyebrow at him.
“I ain’t gonna go to the gym and start sparring or anything, guv,” he rolls his eyes. “I wanna see Merlin. He still hasn’t been home. What’s he doing? I’m worried…”
Harry rubs his hands over his face, taking a deep breath and shaking his head.
“Me too. I’ve tried to speak to him, he won’t listen to me. Maybe he’ll listen to you.”
Eggsy shifts uncomfortably, more anxious.
“But you have to stay in the wheelchair. Otherwise if Jane from medical sees you walking around the estate she’ll cut my balls off and wear them as earrings,” Harry adds, grimacing slightly.
Eggsy groans and tries to protest but Harry cuts him off with a soft kiss. “Wheelchair or you don’t go.”
“Fine,” he mumbles, resigned.
They get in the cab, are driven to the estate, and Harry wheels Eggsy in silence through the corridors, past Merlin’s office.
“Wait, where are you going?”
“Merlin isn’t there, sweetheart.”
They stop outside a door Eggsy hasn’t used or seen before. It’s a dark, old thing, in the depths of the building.
“What’s this?” Eggsy frowns, confused.
“Okay, I’m going to warn you now, love. Merlin is in there…with Harvey and Charlie. If you don’t want to go in, you don’t have to. You just tell me now and I’ll take you back up to Roxy’s room, or you can sit in my office with me while I do work,” he says softly, crouching in front of the younger male.
Eggsy’s heartbeat subconsciously speeds up at the two names, his hand curling around his stomach protectively as he takes a few deep breaths.
“He’s been there all this time? Has he even got the clearance to be doing what he’s doing?” Eggsy cringes as he can only imagine what Merlin is subjecting them to right now.
“Chester King knows what’s happening, didn’t think it worth arguing with Merlin, he would have done it with or without the clearance,” Harry sighs.
“Fuck, mate,” Eggsy groans, biting his lip and glancing at the door again. It must be sound proof because he can only hear silence. “I better go in there, pull him out. He ain’t gonna ever come back out again otherwise.”
“Okay then, dear. As long as you think you’ll be okay seeing them again,” Harry says, concerned, doubting whether he should have bought Eggsy here at all. “I can’t stay. I really have to go work as soon as I help you inside,” he warns.
“It’s okay,” he nods, giving him the go ahead.
Harry unlocks the door, opening it with a creak. It’s dark inside, Eggsy takes a second to adjust his eyes, then he can smell the distinct smell of human waste and blood. The next thing that hits him is the loud sounds being emitted from the men, and the sound of Merlin’s worn out voice. It sounds like he’s been shouting for days.
Harry and Eggsy exchange a look and Eggsy tells him to go. The older male makes sure he’s okay before leaving. “Just call if you need anything. I’ll be here in a heartbeat.”
Once Harry is gone,“Merlin?” Eggsy calls out quietly. Wheeling himself slowly, he delves deeper into the dark room. He can now see the men, sitting behind a protective wall of glass, separating the dangerous alphas from the fragile omega.
They’re covered in their own blood, some dried and old, some fresh and new, dripping into a puddle under the seats they’re strapped to. Merlin is standing over them, resentment and anger evident on his face. Unlike his body, it isn’t weaker, the emotion is still burning strong as he hurts them repeatedly. Eggsy hears the telltale snap of bones, the instant cry which follows.
Nausea and anxiety hit Eggsy suddenly, he’s leaning over, vomiting before he can move to make it to anywhere like a bin or sink.
The combination of all the different senses are too overwhelming, his own pain flashing back from the memory of what he felt when Harvey treated him the same way Merlin is treating Harvey right now.
The sounds seem to stop, all 3 alphas attention now on him, hearing him throw up, watching him wipe his mouth with the back of a shaky hand as he looks up and makes eye contact with Merlin who seems to be the last one to notice Eggsy.
He knows the men must be broken, as he doesn’t hear Charlie make any chiding remarks towards Eggsy or his Omega status. He just sees fear and pain on their faces.
“Eggsy?” Merlin says his name like he doesn’t really believe he’s there, frowning.
“Merlin, what are you doing?” Eggsy mumbles shakily.
Merlin slowly makes his way over, dropping the weapon which was in his hand. His shirt sleeves are rolled up to his elbow, no longer white, tainted red with the other men’s blood, and some of his own. He has cuts on his hands, evidence of punches being thrown, knuckles swollen. His face looks gaunt, eyes sunken, he clearly hasn’t eaten properly since when the mission went wrong.
“You shouldn’t be in here, Eggsy. I’m just teaching them a lesson,” Merlin’s accent seems to be stronger with the tiredness in words.
“You haven’t come to see me since I got back, do you blame me? Is that why you don’t want to see me?” Eggsy asks quietly, hands clenching anxiously. He doesn’t like the way Merlin is looking down at him, looking around the room as though trying to decipher what’s real and what isn’t.
“So he’s your bitch as well as Harry’s? That makes a lot more sense now,” Charlie tries to spit out snidely, some teeth missing, lips swollen.
“Shut the fuck up,” Merlin growls, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath.
“Who’s kid is it? Yours? Or Harry’s? It’s a bastard child either way,” Charlie says matter of factly, clearly deciding he has nothing left to lose.
Eggsy flinches at the way Merlin spins around, spitting fury as he storms back over to Charlie to punch him in the mouth a few more times.
“Don’t ever fucking speak about my fucking child again. Don’t even fucking look at Eggsy or I’ll gauge your fucking eyes out,” he pants, punching him again before stepping away and running a hand over his head, turning to see Eggsy flinch again. The younger male hadn’t even seen him like this before, losing control, angry and violent.
It reminded him of Dean, and he hates every fibre of his being for it.
“Eggsy?” Merlin frowns at the vulnerable man sitting with his eyes lowered and neck bared slightly. “You know I wouldn’t hurt you, I’m doing this for you,” he exclaims quietly. It’s as though Eggsy’s fear snaps him out of his angry mindset, and he suddenly realises what he’s doing, how he’s treating the two men.
“I know, Merlin…” Eggsy says, although he doesn’t sound too sure himself. “Come home, babe, please.” He winces, realising he sounds exactly like Michelle. “It’s been days… I just want to go home with you.”
“Days?” Merlin mumbles, frowning. “You’ve been back days?”
“Yeah, I have. Harry and I are worried. Come home, we can cook that dinner you like, sit around and eat it like a proper family and shit,” Eggsy pushes himself up to stand, wincing slightly when his stitches pull. He walks cautiously over to Merlin, reaching out before gently pulling him into a hug. Merlin presses his face into Eggsy’s neck, breathing in deeply. He seems to calm down the more contact he has with the omega, the more he can smell him and hold him.
“Pathetic, who’s fucking who? Maybe Eggy does have the balls in the relationship. Maybe he’s fucking Merlin, because it doesn’t look like Merlin has the cock to do it with-“
“Shut up, Charlie,” Eggsy snaps, feeling Merlin begin to vibrate against him.
Not giving himself a chance to change his mind, he reaches back to the table where Merlin’s gun was resting, picking it up and spinning around, firing two bullets consecutively. Both men stop moving, going limp. Blood splatters the protective glass beside him. Eggsy’s aim was true, and he feels a tiny tug of sadness at the sudden loss of life, before he remembers again what they did to him.
“Home, Merlin. Now,” he sighs, falling back into the wheelchair as his ribs protest at the movement, arm aching at the recoil of the gun. He curls up slightly and takes a few deep breaths. Merlin pauses, glancing at the bodies, then back at Eggsy. He gives him another hug.
“I’m so sorry…”
“It’s okay, Merlin. We’ll talk this through at home.”
They get back to the flat, Eggsy is shaking slightly from the aftermath of seeing his attackers again, and inevitably killing them. He had to do it, Merlin wasn’t going to stop until they were dead. They weren’t going to stop until they were dead.
“Any update from medical?” Merlin asks quietly, breaking the silence as Eggsy limps to the sofa, pulling a blanket onto himself. He hasn’t been sleeping in the bed, feeling wrong when he tries to. The only sleep he gets is on the sofa with Harry or with the TV on in the background.
Eggsy just grumbles and shrugs, he can’t meet eyes with the man, scared about what he’ll see. He won’t see his lover, he’ll see a shell of a man.
“Do you want to talk-“
“Look, bruv, I’m pretty fucking tired, okay? They told me bedrest and I still managed to kill two guys today,” Eggsy snaps eventually.
“You blame me for that?” Merlin asks, accusatory. “I hurt them for you, because they hurt you. You still stopped me.”
“You weren’t doing it for me, Merlin. You were doing it for yourself, because you can’t bear the guilt for not being able to help me.” Eggsy regrets the words as soon as they leave his mouth, knowing that Merlin will take them the wrong way, like Eggsy is blaming him.
“Right, I see how it is then. I failed to protect you.”
“Fucking hell, guv. That’s not what I meant. Would you please just stop? You’re giving me a damn headache,” Eggsy mumbles, closing his eyes tightly and sighing again.
“If you hadn’t have gone on the fucking mission in the first place-“
“I know, okay? You were right. It’s all my fucking fault. They beat me and whipped me and raped me and it was my fault. Dean used to tell me that, I know it’s fucking true. Now leave me alone, or I’ll fuck off to the pub where I can get some peace and quiet,” Eggsy exclaims, wrapping his arms tightly around his stomach as he feels further discomfort across his body. Everything hurts, physically and mentally, and Merlin isn’t helping.
It hurts more when Merlin doesn’t tell him he’s wrong, just spinning around and slamming the door shut and storming upstairs.
Eggsy is still crying when Harry gets home at 2:30 in the morning. He has the TV on quietly but he’s not watching it, someone complaining animatedly about roast lamb being overcooked on Come Dine With Me which would usually make him laugh.
“Eggsy, darling? What happened?”
“Merlin’s a git.”
“I know, anything else the matter?”
Eggsy explains what happened to him, how he killed Charlie and Harvey and everything Charlie had said.
“It’s okay, you’re not a bad person Eggsy, it’s not your fault. I’ll go talk to Merlin. I shouldn’t have sent you in there today,” Harry sighs, kissing him gently on the lips. Eggsy just shrugs.
Harry forces Merlin to take sick leave. This has a knock on effect to everything. Consequently, Harry has to work more at the mansion, and Eggsy spends more time with Merlin.
The first few weeks are rough. Every time Eggsy sees Merlin, he’s either going to get more alcohol from the liquor cabinet, or he’s stumbling around with alcohol on his breath. Eggsy would kill for a drink and a smoke right now, but he knows he can’t have that.
Eggsy attends his therapy sessions every couple of days, wanting to get them over with sooner rather than later. He finds that they help a little bit, but there’s years of damage to his mental health which won’t be changed that easily, so he goes around in circles a lot of the time.
There’s one night when he’s at home, curled up in his usual spot, but the pain across his body begins to increase to unbearable levels. He’s healing, slowly but surely, but he still has bad days.
He’s whimpering quietly and trying to take controlled breaths when he feels the gentle touch in his hair, brushing his curls.
“Eggsy, lad? What’s wrong?” It’s Merlin. He almost forgot he was there, they’d spoken so little over the past days. What happened on the mission hangs heavy in the air, an invisible barrier between them.
He can’t even get the words out to tell him, concentrating so heavily on trying not to be sick from the pain. If he opened his mouth to speak, he’d probably puke everywhere.
Merlin watches him for a second, then disappears. Whimpering, Eggsy curls further into himself, it hurt more now Merlin had walked away, probably to get more alcohol and go up to bed.
He zones out, but is surprised when a few minutes later he hears the door open again and Merlin enter.
“C’mon, lad. Let’s get you up to bed. It can’t be good for you, sleeping down here.”
Eggsy is about to protest when strong hands are carefully wrapping around him, picking him up like he weighs nothing, and carrying him up the stairs.
“I know you don’t want to sleep up here because you feel like Harry and I don’t want you in bed with us, because you think we blame you and feel differently about you now. You’ve got to get it into your head that that isn’t true, we love you Eggsy, just as much as before.”
The words are spoken softly, filling his head with gently reassurances.
“Oh,” he makes a quiet noise of surprise when he sees the room and what Merlin has done for him. Placed on the bed, minding the still healing wounds of his back, Merlin pulls the cover up and over him. He picks up a hot water bottle which he’s obviously just spent time making up, pressing it under the covers and against Eggsy’s stomach. Then, further to Eggsy’s surprise, he climbs into his own side of the bed, Eggsy in the middle. One hand snakes under the cover and water bottle to rub small circles on his belly, massaging away the pain, a constant soft pressure.
“Here, drink this,” using his other hand he passes him a glass of orange juice. “It’ll keep your sugars up.”
He does as he’s told, drinking it all and putting the glass back.
“Why are you doing this?” He asks quietly and cautiously, now that he’s able to speak again without feeling nauseous.
Merlin looks confused, then slightly hurt. “Why do you think? I love you.”
“You’ve been pretty absent recently,” Eggsy lowers his eyes.
“I know, I’m sorry. I’m just…fighting my own demons at the moment, I’m trying.”
Eggsy sighs and accepts the answer, it was true after all. Harry had warned Eggsy of Merlin’s slight history of alcohol dependency. He’d been getting better, it came and went over the years. He was back in therapy for it again after 5 years mostly sober, the ordeal with Harvey causing it to flare up again. Harry had explained this all after that night when Merlin had become angry and left Eggsy on the floor, Eggsy had then felt terrible for slipping scotch into his drink because he’d went off afterwards and binge drank for the night.
“I love you too, y’know,” Eggsy says quietly, shuffling closer to the older male.
They stay like that for a while, and Eggsy realises how much he’s missed this Merlin, the controlled and loving Merlin who would do anything for him.
“If the pain gets worse, or you start to bleed, tell me immediately, aye?” the alpha demands gently into Eggsy’s ear. “I don’t think it’s anything serious, our little girl is probably just a bit uncomfortable, I can feel her moving.” He smiles slightly, lifting the cover up to whisper at Eggsy’s belly. “That’s right, girly. I can feel you moving and causing your mammy some pain. Settle down, eh?” Merlin comes back from the covers, still smiling, causing Eggsy to giggle. It was the first proper giggle in days.
Eggsy was now a high risk pregnancy, the pain and discomfort was recurring but he was told to just keep a close eye on it. Medical gave him weekly checkups.
“I don’t know what to do anymore,” Eggsy sighs.
“What do you mean?” Merlin is back to just stroking his hair, Eggsy’s face cradled into the older man’s neck.
“I feel like I’m losing myself, like I’m losing you…”
Merlin doesn’t reply, not knowing what to say. The lack of reply causes Eggsy to shut his mouth and stop talking. It was useless trying to talk to Merlin at the minute, he was too busy stuck in his own head to worry about Eggsy’s.
Lying together is nice though, he feels safer in Merlin’s arms, and slightly less alone.
Halfway through the night he feels Harry climb into bed with them after coming back from Kingsman, his arm snakes around Eggsy’s waist too, brushing against Merlin’s which is already resting there. Both his alpha’s, arms wrapped around him, he feels warm and sleeps properly for the first time in weeks.
Thank you for bearing with me if you're still reading this! It means a lot! I'll be more regular at posting soon I hope! x
Major warnings, read tags, dark dark dark Merlin, major fuck ups, no excuses
When he realises that the more he stays at home, the more miserable he becomes, he decides to go to his mum’s.
“Eggsy, babe!” She’s excited to see him, it never fails to fill him with fuzzy comfort to see how happy she is now she’s not with Dean.
She doesn’t know what happened to him on the mission, doesn’t really know anything about it at all, only that the pregnancy is delicate. He told her that it’s because he’s a male omega, which wasn’t entirely a lie.
“Eggsy!!!” Daisy’s shrill little voice carries through the house as she comes tumbling into the room, arms outstretched as she throws herself at Eggsy’s legs.
He grins and leans down to pick her up but is quickly stopped by his mum.
“Careful, Daisy. Your brother shouldn’t be picking you up, might hurt the little babby inside his tummy,” she scolds him, glaring slightly and leading him towards the sofa, forcing him to sit down.
Daisy pouts, reaching to grab for him again, crawling onto the sofa clumsily and draping herself over Eggsy, little hands fisting at his knees as she scrabbles around to catch her balance.
“Ugh, you get bigger every time I see ya,” Eggsy grins, pulling her to his chest in a big hug. She just giggles and squirms, nuzzling her face into his scent gland. After all, he’s the closest to a father she’s ever had and it must be difficult when he comes and goes so regularly.
Michelle comes back in, putting a cup of tea down next to him, knowing that he’ll only spill it if she passes it to him.
“Let him breathe, Dais’,” Michelle sighs, still smiling though. Daisy’s arms only tighten around him at the words, shaking her head.
“You cooking something? Smells nice,” Eggsy smiles at his mum, she sits down next to him.
“Yeah, I am, do you want some? There’s enough to last the week! Stay for dinner, love,” she pats his hand gently.
“Yes, ta. If that’s okay. Can I…stay? The night?” he asks quietly, lowering his eyes, smile faltering at fear of rejection, or the questions she might ask.
“Of course you can, love. You can always stay here, you know that,” she leans over and kisses his temple. “Is anything wrong at home? With Harry and Merlin?” Her eyes widen slightly in concern and her voice lowers so Daisy can’t hear (not that she’s paying much attention anyway, too busy humming to herself against Eggsy’s skin, playing with his hair, blissfully happy).
Eggsy had told his mum about the two males when they’d become serious, she’d had dinner with them quite a few times and really liked them. She believed they just worked in the tailors shop with Eggsy. She obviously didn’t trust them entirely, knowing they were alphas and the history she and Eggsy had with those types of men.
“They’re still treating you right, aren’t they, babe?”
He can smell her starting to get distressed, worry evident on her face, flashbacks of Dean clearly reemerging. He grabs her hand and forces a smile.
“Of course they are, mum. Stop worrying, I’m fine. Just wanna spend some time with my girls,” he grins, tickling under Daisy’s arms, causing her to squeal and blow a raspberry against his neck. “Hey, cheeky,” he chastises, giggling himself. Michelle smiles, relaxing. Once she’s finished her tea she gets up to continue with the dinner, leaving the two of them to entertain themselves.
“Baby, baby,” Daisy sings, poking at Eggsy’s swollen stomach. He’s beyond halfway through the pregnancy now at 5 months, looking rather larger. He’s not used to it, always having been quite thin.
“Yes, that’s your lil’ niece in there,” he smiles, watching her rub his tummy curiously.
“Niece?” she experiments with the foreign word, frowning as she struggles to say it.
They lounge out on the sofa together, Eggsy turns the TV on but Daisy doesn’t pay attention to it, settling with her ear against his chest, facing towards his bump. Hearing her sing quietly to the unborn baby inside him, little fingers tracing patterns against the stretched skin, makes his heart physically lurch with affection.
Daisy and Michelle would always come first, he doesn’t love anyone as much as he loves these two. Harry and Merlin would never quite be on their level.
“I love you, Dias’. You’re precious, yeah? Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise,” he sighs softly, stroking her baby curls, soft and thick.
“Love you too, Eggsy,” she grins, kissing his stomach again, voice as sweet as honey, high pitched and innocent. “Love you and baby and mummy.”
He never wanted to leave.
Although he only asked to stay one night, he actually stays for a week. Merlin calls him every day, asking where he is and whether he’ll be coming home that night. He sounds slightly angry when Eggsy says no, but doesn’t push the matter much further, just hanging up. Harry is more understanding, making sure he’s okay but not trying to convince him to come home. He knows Eggsy is safe with Michelle.
Roxy visits on her day off, Daisy runs up to her with the same enthusiasm she met Eggsy with, giggling excitedly when Roxy picks her up and spins her around. “How’s my favourite toddler doing? What are you and Eggsy playing?”
“Tea parties,” Daisy says when she’s put back down. She grabs a chair and drags it over to the table where Eggsy and some of her teddies are sat, a delicate china tea-set on the table which Harry and Merlin had given her for her birthday, filled with apple juice.
Roxy is smiling amusedly, sitting down on the chair.
They play and laugh together until eventually Eggsy becomes tired and uncomfortable. Roxy notices, of course, glancing at him with concern.
“I think it’s time Eggsy went to bed, don’t you think?” Roxy says softly to Daisy. Eggsy scowls slightly and rolls his eyes at being treated like a child.
“I’m fine, these chairs are just a bit uncomfortable,” he states quietly. The small play chairs cause him to put an uncomfortable pressure on his back and the bottom of his stomach.
Daisy’s bottom lip wobbles slightly at the thought of their playtime coming to an end, but Roxy whispers something to her and she’s soon giggling again, allowing them both to go as she carries on playing by herself.
Roxy and Eggsy go to his room, laying down on the bed together. “So, how are you doing?” She asks and he sighs.
“I wish people would stop asking me that,” he mumbles.
There’s silence for a moment and she bites her lip, changing the subject. “Wanna know some good news? Kate is being moved back here again, France didn’t need her anymore, and Harry had a word with Arthur,” she grins, clearly excited. Eggsy wants to be as excited and happy as her, smiling and biting his lip.
“That’s brilliant, Rox’. I’m happy for ya, she’s a lucky girl. We should go out more often together, I want to get to know her. After all, she saved me, and I’m gonna have to start considering Godparents soon..." he gestures to his stomach and she breaks into an excited grin, tugging him into a hug.
“Seriously? Oh my god, please, I’d be the best…” she boasts, grinning.
He rolls his eyes and nods, “I know you would, who else is gonna be able to kick all the boy’s asses who try and come near my baby?”
The more he surrounds himself with the positive energy of the likes of Roxy, Daisy and his mum, the more he begins to get excited about the baby. He never thought he’d feel like this. But he also never thought he’d meet two men he loved as much as Harry and Merlin, only around a year ago he was working on the streets for gods sake.
His phone starts to ring, breaking into their laughter and giggles.
“Merlin? What’s wrong?”
“Let me guess, you aren’t coming back again tonight either?”
Eggsy groans, head dropping down into his hands as he takes a deep breath, weighing up his options.
“Is Harry home?”
“Yes,” Merlin lies.
He rolls his lip between his teeth, thinking for a second before finally mumbling, “Okay, I’ll be on my way back in half an hour or so.”
It’s around 10 already. “I’ll wait for you.” Merlin hangs up.
Eggsy finds himself unlocking the door to the house at 11pm, Roxy had gotten a cab with him, making sure he was home safe before going back to her own house. Daisy had been difficult to part with, luckily she was already asleep in bed so didn’t protest as much as she would have if she was fully awake, she’d just mumbled sadly as he kissed her and said goodbye.
The young omega pulled his jacket tighter around himself, shivering slightly in the night air and taking a deep breath before opening the door and stepping inside.
Footsteps come from across the house and Merlin emerges, walking straight towards him and he’s barely got the door shut. He’s immediately hit with the smell of alcohol on Merlin’s breath, hot against his face. Then he notices the paleness and gauntness of his face.
“Fucking hell, Merlin. You look as shit as you did when I pulled you out of that fucking dungeon with Harvey and Charlie,” Eggsy groans, running an exasperated hand through his hair, feeling anger starting to bubble at how selfish the older man was being.
“That’s a nice fucking way to say hello,” Merlin growls, narrowing his eyes. “Especially after 2 weeks of ignoring me.”
“Fuck off, bruv. I wasn’t ignoring you. I’m too tired for this shit, I’m going to bed,” Eggsy moves to make his way towards the stairs but is stopped by the other man, who refuses to move from where he’s cornering Eggsy against the wall.
Instead, much to his surprise, Eggsy is being pushed back again, and Merlin’s body is being pressed against him. His hips roll forward, mouth finding its way to Eggsy’s neck.
“Seriously? You’re mad I didn’t come back because you’re horny? Just wanna fuck me?” Eggsy doesn’t even try to hide his anger now. When Merlin was drunk, he only really saw Eggsy as an object. “This isn’t the man I fell in love with, you’re just using me,” Eggsy mumbles as Merlin continues to pin him there, unzipping his trousers and licking along his jawline. It’s like the man doesn’t even hear him, he has eyes and ears for one thing only.
“Well, we never fuck anymore do we? Might have to go find myself a whore if you’re not careful, seeing as mine is fucking useless. Whoops, sorry, I forgot, you don’t do that anymore… Or do you? Is that where you’ve been? You’re not actually with your mum, you’re letting other alphas use you, ‘cause you miss the attention, aye?” The words are slurred as they fall from the panting alphas lips, but they all feel like a stab to Eggsy’s heart. Blow after blow of insults and derogatory terms.
As he stands there, loose limbed and complacent, Eggsy wonders why he doesn’t fight it, why he doesn’t put him back into his place.
He doesn’t want Merlin to pull his trousers down to his knees, he doesn’t want him to start fumbling with Eggsy’s cock, he doesn’t want his shirt to be taken off, doesn’t want the wet mouth against his lips, tongue forcing itself against his. But he lets it happen anyway.
Maybe he loves Merlin too much to say no. Maybe the words scare him too much. If he said no, would Merlin actually leave him and find a whore? He wasn’t a good enough omega, he couldn’t even satisfy his mate-
His legs are being spread, the alphas cock now free and pressing against his, rutting roughly against him.
The cold wall is hard against Eggsy’s back, pinned against it as Merlin becomes rougher and rougher.
“Merlin, please- Wait-“ he shoves slightly then, trying to cover himself. “Not here- Bed?” he suggests quietly, hating the wobble he hears in his voice. With any luck, Merlin would pass out and forget about wanting to fuck him.
He’s worried that Merlin isn’t going to listen to him at all and will carry on but hears the groan and suddenly feels the pressure being released against him as he pulls away. Merlin doesn’t say anything, just wraps his fingers tightly around one of Eggsy’s wrist, the other hand gripping the back of his neck, leading him upstairs.
His heart rate speeds up suddenly and he has to suppress a whimper, he’s been in this exact situation so many times before, his rent boy days slamming straight into the forefront of his memory, uninvited and painful.
Soon he’s being shoved onto the bed, careful to land on his back and not on the bump, he’d already been doing too much activity the past few days, medical would not be happy.
“Where’s Harry? Thought you said Harry would be here?” Eggsy bites his lip. If Harry was in and saw this, he would at least stop Merlin, but then he’d be so angry, the whole relationship would fall apart, and he didn’t want that. No, it was better this way.
“He went back to work,” Merlin grumbles, putting himself back between Eggsy’s spread limbs, starting the assault all over again with his mouth and hands. Much to Eggsy’s dismay, Merlin doesn’t even grab lube, just spits on his own hand and rubs his cock a few times it’s it.
Then a new pain starts, different to the mental one, as Merlin is fumbling around to try and get his cock in Eggsy. He becomes frustrated, drunken hands causing him to make a mess of it. It doesn’t help that Eggsy is extremely tight and tense, muscles twitching on instinct. Eventually he does manage to breach the boy’s body, bottoming out and moaning without a care in the word for the pain Eggsy was experiencing at the lack of preparation and arousal.
“Wait, Merlin- Please, it hurts-“ Eggsy manages to croak out, fisting at the alphas chest, hating how small and scared he sounds. “Wait-“
Merlin growls in annoyance but does stop, pausing whilst buried inside the younger man. After a few minutes, when the burning dies down slightly, Eggsy gives the tiniest nod, and Merlin takes it as his cue to carry on. It continues like this for a few minute before the alpha curses, Scottish accent strong, shaking his head and pulling out completely, avoiding Eggsy’s eyeline.
“I can’t fuck you like this, on your back. Feels like I’m fucking the baby, it’s weird,” he gestures towards the baby bump and Eggsy notices the look of disgust which flickers briefly across his face. Eggsy feels sick with anxiety and embarrassment. So Merlin didn’t even want to look at him while he fucked him?
He feels ashamed and disgusted with himself, slowly rolling over. Merlin inevitably gets impatient, grabbing his hips with both hands and pulling them roughly up into position, against himself. When Eggsy moves to relieve the pressure on his stomach by pushing up onto his elbows, Merlin shakes his head. “No,” he mumbles simply, shoving between Eggsy’s shoulder blades.
“What-“ Eggsy pushes against the hand, confused, but this time the hand is harsher, pinning his shoulder to the bed, Eggsy’s cheek against the mattress. He’s forced to stay like that, back arched uncomfortably, Merlin starting to fuck him again. God, Charlie was right.
This was all Eggsy was good for, a hole to fuck.
The omega disassociates, sinking deeper into his own head. He doesn’t know how long it’s been before he feels Merlin moan loudly and roll onto his back. He’d finished sloppily inside him.
Eggsy doesn’t move for a while, waiting for Merlin to tell him to, also still in shock at what had just happened.
For a man who lives off adrenaline, uses fear to make quick decisions and save lives, he doesn’t understand how his body had betrayed him. How he’d just frozen. All he could do is let out quiet pleads, but they sounded pathetic to his own ears. Who was he?
When he does move, it hurts. He slowly curls into himself, not even bothering to clean himself.
He can hear Merlin sleeping next to him, oblivious or ignorant to the pain he’d just inflicted on his omega. Eggsy doesn’t sleep the whole night, just laying in the bed, staring into the darkness. When Harry comes home and climbs into bed, Eggsy barely even notices, doesn’t say anything.
“Eggsy, sweetheart? Are you asleep?” Harry whispers, a gentle hand reaching out to brush some hair off his forehead. Eggsy can’t stop himself flinching, hating himself for it.
“Sorry, you surprised me,” he lies, still avoiding eye contact, guilt swelling in his chest. He didn’t really know why he felt guilty.
Harry frowns, tilting Eggsy’s chin gently to face him. “Are you okay? How was your mother? And Daisy?” He asks, cautious, knowing that something was wrong.
“They were well, mum asked about you,” he forces a smile, pulling his chin from the grasp again, looking away.
“Eggsy, what’s wrong? You can either tell me or I’ll find out anyway,” Harry sighs softly, pulling the cover down to climb into the bed. He stops dead.
“Harry?” Eggsy whimpers, confused and starting to panic. Then he looks down.
That’s a lot of blood.
I feel like I may have lost a lot of people halfway through this chapter but I didn't really have anywhere else to take the story so stick with it if you want, if not, I apologise...
“For fucks sake, Merlin. Get up!” Harry is frantic, trying to get Merlin to wake up. The response he receives is a very groggy alpha, cursing and stretching.
“What? What’s wrong? Why are you waking me up this fucking late?”
“Don’t talk to me like that,” Harry snaps, hissing at him. “We need to get Eggsy to a hospital, now. How did you sleep through this?”
It’s then that Merlin notices the pool of blood Eggsy’s laying in. Their eyes meet, a look of horror crosses the man’s face, and he suddenly realises the gravity of what he’s done.
Eggsy doesn’t have a chance to contemplate what the look means, vision blurring.
“’Arry? I don’t feel too good,” he groans. Before Harry can get the words out to reply, everything goes black as Eggsy passes out.
“I’m getting sick of waking up in these hospital beds, bruv,” the omega whines, wincing against the light of the Kingsman medical room.
“I’m getting sick of you scaring us all shitless!” Roxy exclaims, burying her face into his hip. “Why can’t you just stay in bed like you’re told to. What happened? You were fine when I left you at your house, Jesus, Eggsy…”
Fuck. Was she crying? God, she was crying-
“Rox’?” He whispers, “is it bad news?”
“No,” she sniffles slightly, forcing a smile. “No, not bad news. I was just so worried about you.” She wipes her eyes, hiding her face against him and taking deep breaths.
“Eggsy Unwin, you are one lucky man.” The new voice is Kate. She’s stepping towards her partner, placing a reassuring hand on Roxy’s shoulder in an attempt to comfort her.
Eggsy didn’t feel lucky.
“What happened to bed rest? What happened to staying relaxed? You lost a lot of blood,” she scolds gently, sighing and joining Roxy by his side, sitting down.
He just shrugs, letting his head fall back in exasperation.
“The baby is okay for now, but you’re running out of lives to use. Next time we won’t be so lucky.”
He lets out the breath he doesn’t realise he’d been holding. The baby was okay. His hand tightens in Roxy’s.
“That’s why,” Kate continues, “Harry and I have spoken. He’s said that it would be best to keep you here. Until the baby is born. That way we can keep a close eye on you. Your Kingsman insurance covers for everything, you don’t have to worry.”
Eggsy chews on his lip, glancing at her. He considers arguing, but then doesn’t bother. They’re right. He should stay here.
“Okay,” he agrees quietly.
She smiles softly, then surprises him by reaching across to kiss him on the temple. “You’re safe here.”
She gets up and excuses herself, kissing Roxy lovingly, having to help other agents. As soon as she leaves, Roxy is trying not to cry again, face blotchy. It scares him to see her like this.
“What happened, Eggsy? Why didn’t you do anything? If Harry hadn’t have come home, who knows what would have happened to you?” she hiccups.
“I don’t know what happened,” he half lies, shrugging.
She sighs and runs her free hand over her face, the one that isn’t holding Eggsy’s.
“Look, honey… I know. Okay? I know something happened. Kate told me, when she examined you…” she trails off, unable to complete to the sentence. Eggsy’s heart fills with dread. “Was it Merlin?”
When he doesn’t reply, she makes a noise of pure pain and disbelief. “Christ,” she whispers, shaking her head.
“You can’t tell Harry, fuck, Rox’, you can’t tell him-“ Eggsy rambles, “It’ll split us all apart- I love them both so much-“
“Why are you putting me in this position? He hurt you, Harry has a right to know that he’s living with a man who-“
“No,” Eggsy cuts her off, unable to bear hearing the words. “It’s not like that, it just got a bit rough, please…”
She studies his face for a moment, fists clenching. “I can’t say anything to him anyway, it wouldn’t be right of me. It’s up to you. You’re a grown man, legally Kate doesn’t even have to disclose anything, she shouldn’t have even told me,” she sighs, resigned. “But if he steps out of line, I can’t guarantee I won’t tell Harry everything, I want to hurt him so much right now Eggsy, Jesus-“
“It wasn’t like that, honestly… I think there’s a misunderstanding,” Eggsy forces a smile.
“All we want is the best for you, and for my goddaughter,” she says gently, smiling weakly through the anger. “Christ, trouble just follows you, Eggsy Unwin”
Eggsy stays in the hospital. Merlin visits him as soon as he agrees to let him in, the next day. He spends the night with Roxy by his side. Harry comes in with Merlin.
“How are you feeling? I bought you that chicken you like, the stuff from that terrible fast food restaurant,” Harry pulls a face of disgust at the fact he just bought food from McDonalds for the younger boy, but Eggsy makes a noise of glee, stomach rumbling on queue.
“Ta, bruv,” he smiles, consuming the food quickly.
“Careful, you’ll get indigestion,” Harry laughs softly.
The room is still tense, the two alphas seem too worried to do anything, not wanting to cause further damage to the young man.
“Do you remember anything from last night?” Harry asked, gently stroking Eggsy’s hair, soothing his scalp with his finger tips.
Eggsy makes the mistake of making eye contact with Merlin at that moment, a chill flooding his body. Instead, he shakes his head silently, looking down at his hands, tearing up the chicken wrapper
“Wish you’d all stop asking me that,” he mumbles under his breath.
“I’m not blaming you, sweetheart. Just wanted to know, so we could make sure it didn’t happen again,” he kisses him lovingly, lips moving delicately against his.
“Roxy said I’m trapped here anyway, so I guess it doesn’t matter anymore,” he shrugs, sighing. He didn’t mean for it to sound as aggressive as it did, wanting it to be humorous.
Eggsy was far from humorous as the months went on.
In fact, just weeks into his bed rest and he felt like he was going fucking crazy. Roxy, Harry and Merlin alternated shifts into seeing him. As much as Eggsy protested, Harry insisted on spending his nights in the hospital with him, sharing the little bed together, the omega wrapped in the older males arms.
Merlin went back to work, but his drinking didn’t stop. If anything, it became worse.
The person he saw the most was Kate, and he was thankful for it. She was the only one keeping him sane.
Mostly, they ignore the terrible night in question where Eggsy almost lost everything. But that doesn’t stop the guilt and pain from eating at him, spending every moment he can with a man who loves him and still deciding to hide the grotesque information from him.
Would Harry love him less if he knew? Would he chose Merlin? Of course he would, they’d been together much longer, many years before Eggsy appeared in their lives, some random dirty whore from the streets. He certainly knows who he’d chose, and it wouldn’t be himself.
He’s grateful that Roxy and Kate keep their silence about what they know, although he can tell that it’s killing them. Whenever Merlin does visit, Roxy refuses to leave, watching him like a hawk, waiting for an apology, for anything.
Thankfully Eggsy doesn’t expect one, because he doesn’t get one. Not a verbal one, anyway. Merlin looks apologetic and guilty whenever he’s in the room, but it’s not the same. He wouldn’t actually admit to what he’d done.
Eventually, Eggsy becomes sick of it, of the tension and the fake pleasantries.
“Merlin, you need help.” Eggsy’s voice echoes across the room, quiet but demanding. He’d been brewing on it for days, debating whether or not to ruin the current balance.
Roxy glances up from the book she’s reading, surprised but seemingly relieved at Eggsy’s conclusion.
“What?” Merlin stands up shakily.
“You need help.”
“For what?” He’s instantly defensive, eyes narrowing.
“You’re an alcoholic, bruv. You need therapy. You also…”he stops short, unable to say the words.
“I what?” Even now, he seems like he’s in denial.
“You hurt me!” Eggsy bursts out suddenly, wincing at the pain that shoots across his body. “Or don’t you remember? Were you too pissed?”
Roxy places a protective hand on Eggsy’s arm, hushing him gently. “Be careful, Eggsy…”
Merlin has a look on his face that clearly states he can remember, but doesn’t want to.
“You raped me, Merlin,” the words get stuck in his throat, dirty and sour, left to hang in the air like a bad smell. He watches a look of anger flash across Merlin’s face at the accusation, and braces himself for an outburst. Quickly enough though, the look changes to one of guilt and disgust.
“No, I-“ he tries to protest but the words are weak.
“I’ve been raped enough times to know what that was, and what I should have done, but what I didn’t.”
This voice isn’t Merlin’s. Or Roxy’s.
It came from Harry, standing in the doorway, looking horrified. Eggsy doesn’t know how long he’d been standing there.
He almost flinches at the look of pure hatred Harry shoots Merlin before springing on him, pinning him to the wall by a hand to his throat.
“You did what? You fucking- What?” his voice is full of disbelief, trying to get his head around what he’d just heard. The alpha is practically growling, breathing hard as he restrains himself from ripping the other man’s throat out.
“Harry, love, please don’t- Don’t hurt him-“ Eggsy pants out, pushing himself out of bed despite Roxy’s protests.
She doesn’t get a chance to stop him, he’s already grabbing Harry and attempting to pull him away from Merlin. Harry doesn’t fight his touch, muscles tense but not wanting to accidentally injure Eggsy further by pushing back. He keeps his eyes trained on Merlin, refusing to look away from his face even when Eggsy wraps his arms around him, forcing him into an embrace, rubbing his shoulders in an attempt to soothe him.
“I made it sound worse than it was- It wasn’t like that…” Eggsy mumbles, panicking when Harry tenses further. “Merlin, get out while I talk to Harry. Please.”
Merlin doesn’t argue, leaving with Roxy to wait outside, sheepishly staring at his feet as he goes.
“Fuck-“ Harry spins around, punching the wall where Merlin’s face had been. Eggsy flinches, seeing the blood left behind from Harry’s now injured knuckles. He’s breathing heavily, eyes shut as he processes what’s happened, ignoring the pain spreading like fire across his hand and the rest of his body.
Harry and Eggsy don’t say anything at first, standing together until Harry’s breathing returns to somewhat normal. Eggsy kisses him softly then, burying his face in his neck.
“I didn’t want to tell you, I thought you’d be angry…” He whispers against the older man’s skin.
“I am angry.”
Harry seems to soften slightly at that, shaking his head and pulling Eggsy closer, kissing the top of his head.
“Not with you, no. Why would I be angry with you, sweetheart? You’ve done nothing wrong. Fucking hell, Merlin on the other hand? I could kill him. I would, if you asked me to. I knew something was off that night. Why didn’t I realise? Fuck. I’m a bad alpha, I’ve let you down Eggsy, I’m so sorry-“
“You haven’t let me down,” he says softly, shaking his head and brushing some hair off Harry’s forehead.
He knows Harry is beyond angry, he hardly ever swears this much. The smell of pain and distress radiates from his body, Eggsy tries to ignore it but he can’t. Instead, his head rolls slightly to the side for the alpha who gratefully buries his face there, taking in Eggsy’s scent. Eggsy nuzzles at Harry’s scent gland until the acrid smell dies down slightly to a more bearable level.
“He hurt you, I wasn’t there to protect you-“
“You couldn’t have done anything, you didn’t know,” Eggsy sighs.
“Has it happened before?”
“With Merlin? No, that was the first and only time, I promise,” he bites his lip. “He was so drunk, he didn’t know what he was doing…”
“That doesn’t make it okay-“
“I know… Just, please, don’t hurt him.”
“What do you want me to do? How do you want me to deal with this?” Harry asks quietly, shoulders tense, ready to fight for Eggsy if that’s what he asked.
But he doesn’t ask that of him.
When Harry has calmed down to the point he most likely won’t beat the shit out of Merlin, they call the other man back in. Eggsy is back in bed, rubbing his stomach to soothe the moving baby that doesn’t seem to be able to get comfortable inside him.
“Merlin, you’re going to get your shit and move out. I’m not letting you back in the house until you’re sober. You will not contact Eggsy until you’re sober. You will attend fucking therapy, because fuck knows you need it. Understand?”
The whole time he’s speaking, Harry doesn’t look at the other male. He stands next to Eggsy, hand placed protectively on his head, body practically vibrating with the effort to not turn violent, to keep calm and collected.
When Merlin goes to step closer to Eggsy, reaching out for him, Harry actually snarls, head snapping to focus on him, the hand in Eggsy’s hair tightening slightly.
“Don’t you fucking dare. Don’t even look at him. Get out.”
He opens his mouth as if to say something but thinks better of it, hesitating before leaving silently.
“Thank you, Harry,” Eggsy says softly, taking the hand in his hair and bringing it down to his lips, kissing along Harry’s bloody knuckles. He’s not entirely sure what he’s thanking him for. For not hating him? For handling the situation without violence? “I love you, and I’m sorry you found out like this…”
“You should tell me first next time, Eggsy. I need to be able to protect you, and our daughter. I love you too much to let you keep getting hurt like this.”
“If you’re in danger, don’t keep it from me. Please.”
“Okay, I won’t. I’m sorry.”
“I love you.” Harry kisses the top of Eggsy’s head, then kisses his stomach lightly.
Despite the anxiety buzzing quietly in his mind, Eggsy realises that he feels better for the first time in months.
Things may be about to get better, go back to normal, he hoped.
Merlin just needed to sort his shit out.
Not entirely happy with this chapter, I feel like something is missing. May change and update it again later
Just a lot of pain and crying and confusing emotions
From that moment on, Harry doesn’t leave Eggsy’s side unless he has to. His alpha instincts kick in, he takes leave from Kingsman, God knows the man deserves some time away from that place anyway.
He hardly let’s anybody in the room unless he’s given them explicit permission. Eggsy doesn’t question it. It’s frustrating, but he knows the older man is only being so protective because he loves him, and he’s trying to make up for something he blames himself for. Something he’ll never be able to forgive himself for.
Of course, Eggsy doesn’t blame him at all, and he never would. But deep down, he knows that he’s just suppressing all the emotions he feels towards what happened to him. He had experienced the utmost betrayal from one of the only men he’d ever loved, and the perpetrator hadn’t even acknowledged that he’d done anything wrong.
After all, Eggsy was used to suppressing such feelings, feelings of objectification, of hurt. He had always just been something to be used and fucked and left, and he wasn’t allowed to have feelings about that, because the feelings would just make it so much harder to endure. Hence why he’d allowed Merlin’s abuse to slip so easily over him, undetected and unquestioned.
“Yes, sweetheart?” Harry was sat next to him, one hand placed protectively on Eggsy’s knee, squeezing occasionally. He looks up from the book he’s reading, smiling tiredly.
“I love you, and I’m sorry.”
“We’ve been through this, you don’t have anything to apologise for. Merlin is sick, he needs-“
“You don’t love me back?” Eggsy whispers, the only thing he’d actually captured from the response, not actually listening to Harry’s words.
“What?” confusion flicks across the older males face before realising what he’s talking about. “Oh- Of course I love you too-“ but it’s too late, and before Eggsy even realises what’s happening there’s tears coming down his face.
“It’s because you think I’m dirty now, don’t you? I put the baby at risk, I’m a liability, I’ve split you and Merlin up-“ the words are coming out between quick gasps of breath, choked sobs escaping his lips. The entire world feels like it’s compressing, collapsing onto his chest.
He didn’t deserve Harry. He didn’t deserve the baby in his body. He deserved to be back on the street, used by men like Merlin, other alphas. He deserved the beatings, he wanted the pain, anything to help him forget the pain inflicted by Merlin.
Now he’s started crying he can’t stop, shaking violently when he attempts to anyway.
“Hey, hey- You know that’s not true, darling-“ Harry’s words are clearly forced, trying to sound calm and reassuring for the younger boy’s sake. Truthfully, Eggsy’s scent of distress was sending his own hormones into a frenzy. When it came to fight or flight, Harry always fought, but that didn’t seem like the appropriate reaction to this situation, despite how much his body told him otherwise.
Eggsy took his reluctance to reassure the wrong way, presuming instantly that it was because he didn’t mean the words so was finding it difficult to say them, finding it difficult to tell him he loved him and that the rape wasn’t his fault.
“I love you both so much, I love Merlin, I love you, I need you both-“ he’s rambling, words stumbling from his lips without thought.
“You don’t have to forgive him because you think I want you to, I will always choose you over him Eggsy, Merlin is a-“
“He’s not, he’s not bad, he just needs help, he drinks too much…” he didn’t know why he was defending him, neither did Harry according to the frown on his face as Eggsy continued to ramble. His own voice reminded him of his mum, defending Dean so many times and he’d never understood why, but he knew she never loved him as much as Eggsy loves his alphas. That was why he was defending him, as much as he hated the parallels between himself and his mother.
Perhaps it was just in his DNA as an omega to defend Merlin, even while experiencing the pain and betrayal he felt in that moment.
“We need therapy, the 3 of us, please- I need us to be okay, Harry…”
He glances up when Harry sighs, ready for rejection, breathing quickening further, surprised when he’s actually being enveloped, slowly and gently by a cautious man. The alpha forces Eggsy’s nose into the nape of his neck, allowing his own scent to comfort and calm the omega.
“Okay, it’s okay Eggsy. I still love you both. If you want therapy, we’ll do therapy. But if it doesn’t work, I’m always going to choose your side. Merlin was so, so wrong. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to forgive him, not unless you do, and you want me to. Is that what you want?”
“Yes, please, I want things to go back to the way they were…” Eggsy whispers into his neck, breathing a sigh of relief.
True to his word, a week or so later Harry arranged therapy for them. He didn’t expect Merlin to turn up, but when he did, Harry was shocked.
Almost instantly, his blood boiled, and he had to try his best not to punch the other man straight into his perfectly angular and slightly stubbly jaw.
Instead, he found himself clenching his fists at his sides, avoiding eye contact.
“Merlin,” Eggsy says softly, smiling weakly at him.
Merlin, for the first time in weeks, seems clear eyed and fresh. Harry notices the slight shake of his hands as he enters the room and sits down, next to Eggsy but not touching him yet.
“Eggsy, lad, how are you feeling? How’s my baby doing?” Merlin smiles weakly at the bump, attempting to sound positive.
“Our baby,” Harry snaps, without hesitating.
“Y-yeah, that’s what I meant…” he mumbles, smile dropping.
Eggsy sighs, ignoring the coldness coming from Harry and taking Merlin’s shaking hand into his own, pressing it softly against his stomach and closing his eyes at the kick they both feel. “She’s happy to see you, both of you- She knows her daddies are here.”
Harry shifts uncomfortably at the plural.
“How are the withdrawals, Hamish?”
Merlin visibly flinches at the use of his real name. Eggsy swallows, he’s never heard Harry call him by that name. Never.
“What are you talking about?” Merlin drawls when he catches his tongue again.
“The alcohol. You look a bit worse for wear. I was wondering how the alcohol withdrawals were treating you, dear.” Harry is staring straight ahead, speaking clearly and slowly, in a tone almost dangerous. The usually endearing term is certainly far from that.
Subconsciously, Eggsy’s hand makes its way to Harry’s knee, squeezing gently in an attempt to calm him down a bit.
The therapist clearly looks uncomfortable, watching the scene unfold in front of her.
“I guess we’ll just get straight to it then, eh, Harry? Aye, I’m an alcoholic,” Merlin states, matter of factly, turning his attention to the woman now instead of the two men. “I also have no recollection of what happened that night,” he lies. “I had my alcoholism under control until…” he stops, coughing uncomfortably.
“Until what?” Harry growls.
“Until Eggsy went on that mission to France.” They finally glance at each other, and then at the young boy sitting between them.
“Look, I’m sorry, I’m not following… Why don’t we start from the mission in France. Eggsy, do you want to explain what happened?” the woman speaks for the first time, clearly taken aback by how many issues have already been raised within minutes of the trio seeing each other, her brain actively trying to keep up with the tense conversation unfolding. Her interjection was an attempt at keeping control of the situation, an attempt that failed as Harry interrupted.
“He probably doesn’t want to talk about it-“
Eggsy keeps his mouth firmly shut, he didn’t want to say anything, worried he’d say something wrong, instead leaving it to the two older men. His hand cups his belly, rubbing circles slowly as he stares a hole into his lap while they talk over him.
“He was raped,” Merlin growls. “And neither of us were there to protect him-“
“He was also raped again, when I wasn’t there to protect him,” Harry growls, muscles flexing as he tries to keep his temper.
Eggsy flinches each time the horrible word is said, old memories resurfacing, the voices are swimming over him and he feels like he’s sinking, deeper and deeper into himself and the safe space in his head.
“Eggsy? Would you like to say anything? These are traumatic experiences, I’m sorry you had to go through them…” it’s the woman’s voice this time. He just glances up, frowning.
“Merlin raped him,” Harry interrupts again, anger boiling in his voice as he says him, hands shaking at his sides as he looks at Merlin again, dead in the eye.
Those three words are all it takes to send Eggsy into a spiral of panic. This was all going so wrong, they were supposed to be forgiving each other not fighting like this.
“Harry? Merlin? Do you see the way you’re acting is affecting Eggsy?” There’s clearly concern in her voice when she notices him going downhill. “Eggsy?” She frowns, reaching out for him but he moves away quickly.
“Harry-“ he whimpers, eyes wide. “Please don’t say that-“
“Look, I was drunk, I made a mistake, we all make mistakes, Harry-“ Merlin tries to defend himself, standing up to face Harry more directly.
“I pulled you out of that alcoholism before, I won’t be doing it again, and I certainly won’t be letting you harm Eggsy or our unborn child-“ Harry’s voice is low but booming, strong enough to send chills through Eggsy’s body as he watches him square up to the other alpha.
The therapist has stood up now, trying to verbally separate them but she decides that might not be a good idea when Harry shoves Merlin’s shoulders slightly, poking an accusatory finger into his chest.
“You raped him and you don’t even feel bad about it,” he hisses, shaking his head in disgust.
It’s then that Merlin looks down at the shaking boy sitting on the sofa between them, rubbing his swollen stomach systematically, a mechanism to try and calm himself down as everything falls apart around him.
“Eggsy,” Merlin’s voice cracks, quiet and weak suddenly, a contrast to what it was before. He’s dropped to his knees in front of the omega, gently taking Eggsy’s hands into his own. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry- Oh my god, I’m a monster, I don’t know what I was thinking, I knew it was you but I hurt you anyway, I was so upset you didn’t love me anymore that I just- I don’t know- I wanted you to myself, to mark you- something came over me-“ he’s rambling, trying to sort through the thoughts in his own head. His heart was thumping in his chest, an ache filling his body, a terrible feeling that he never wanted to experience again.
Guilt. An overwhelming, undeniable guilt. Consuming him like a wave, drowning him. He wanted to die. He needed to die. There was no coming back from what he’d done. No excuses.
He turns to Harry, shocking both of them as he grips Harry’s hand instead.
“Harry, I understand that you want to hurt me…”
“Want to hurt you? Hamish, I want to fucking kill you,” Harry hisses, eyes narrowing further. “I come home from work, after covering for your arse to other colleagues and Chester, asking after you and when you’ll be back, to find Eggsy covered in his own blood, shaking. He nearly lost the baby, and it was entirely your fault.”
To the outside person, it would look like Harry was still in control of his emotions, but to Eggsy it was clear that he wasn’t.
“I should bond with Eggsy, I should fucking take him, because you don’t deserve him. You’ll never deserve to bond with him after what you’ve done,” he hisses out, clearly just saying the meanest things he can think of to hurt the other alpha.
“Fuck, Harry, I know, okay? It’s been killing me, I want to die- I just want to die, I shouldn’t be around if I’m capable of doing things like that. I’ve been an alcoholic before, you know that, but I’ve never done anything that low. Fuck- Kill me-“
Merlin is all but crying, eyes darting around the room manically as he word vomits every thought he must have been holding in since hurting Eggsy that night. It was clear that he’d finally reached the low he needed in order to realise he needed help and that he had a problem.
If he could hurt Eggsy, he could hurt the baby. And that thought made him not want to live.
“What?” Harry pulls away slightly, shocked at how quickly everything had escalated and gone downhill.
“I can’t live with what I did- Hurt me, please- Anything-“ he’s crying, Merlin has tears coming down his face and he’s sobbing. Eggsy had never seen the man show such emotion, even Harry hadn’t seen him cry before.
It was horrible to watch, such a broken man, on his knees, begging to be punished.
“Merlin stop-“ Harry mumbles, but he doesn’t let go of Merlin’s hands, if anything he sees him grip them harder.
That’s all Eggsy needs to see to know that there’s still love there, that all isn’t lost, that he could turn this around-
“Merlin,” he whispers, “look at me…”
When Merlin shakes his head, the younger boy reaches out and softly turns his chin so that he has to look at him.
“We love you, I love you, the alcoholism needs to stop. But I forgive you. Please, just stop with the self destructive behaviour,” he says, unsure where he finds the ability to remain so calm and steady as he’s talking to him, voice only shaking slightly. “From this point onwards, every time you drink, I will too.”
“But-“ Harry interjects in horror, quickly shut down my Eggsy.
“No, I know what I’m doing. I know how much it will hurt the baby. And I know that Merlin knows that too, don’t you Merlin? You know that every time you drink, it hurts our baby? So now, I trust you’ll make the right decisions not to hurt her further.”
Eggsy had no intentions of actually putting his little girl in danger, but he had full intentions of psychologically manipulating Merlin in a way that made him realise how massively he’d fucked up and hurt everyone through drinking, including the unborn child.
It had taken him years of emotional abuse and destruction from strangers and Dean to realise that he couldn’t take it from his own alpha as well.
“What you did to me…” Eggsy pushes, voice shaking, reaching subconsciously for Harry, his rock and calm in the storm that was his head and emotions, grabbing his hand tightly in order to continue. “I felt so… weak. I should have stopped you but I didn’t, and that was my fault. It took me back to that first time I met you, when I thought you didn’t think I was good enough or strong enough for Kingsman. And I realised, I’m really not strong enough. I didn’t know what to do, I didn’t want to fight you off because I love you, but I really didn’t want you to use me like that… it put you in the same category as my past abusers… the same category as Dean…” he mumbled, taking a deep breath and shaking his head. He doesn’t realise as he’s talking that he’s almost apologising, still taking the blame for what Merlin did, blaming himself, because he feels like he deserved what happened to him. After all, that was what Dean had always told him, and it made Harry feel sick to realise it.
He knows as he’s looking at the Scot that he’s sorry, that he hates himself for what he did, that the man who raped him was a different man to the one sat in front of him now. And even if that weren’t the case, he didn’t care. He needed to give him another chance. Because he loved him, and he loved Harry.
Harry was about to talk to him, about to tell him that it wasn’t his fault, it wasn’t Eggsy’s fault that there were vile men in the world who would always want to hurt him, but he didn’t deserve the abuse, when a sudden wave of pain clenches in Eggsy’s abdomen. “I don’t feel so good,” he mumbles.
“Okay, sweetheart, we’ll take you back now, take it easy, calm down,” Harry says softly, crouching down next to Merlin and reaching out to rub his stomach gently. “Merlin, go and get a wheelchair.” His voice is slightly colder when he talks to him, but not as much as before.
Merlin scrambles to do as he’s told, grabbing a wheelchair with the therapists direction when she leads him to the closest one. When he gets back, they carefully help Eggsy into it.
“Sorry about all this, you’ve been helpful, honest-“ Eggsy smiles weakly at the therapist who just attempts to laugh lightly, clearly having no fucking idea what just happened.
“I would highly recommend another session, but we’ll talk about this after you’ve been checked over, here, let me help take you outside to wait for the car…” she helps Eggsy out the door, concerned for him but mostly relieved the whole ordeal was over.
Harry waits for the two of them to leave before he gets close to Merlin, leaning in to his ear. “He may have forgiven you, and for that, I’ll go along with him. Because I love you both. But if you even dream of doing that again, I’ll kill you with my own hands,” he mumbles, pulling away and leaving Merlin to stand and think about his words.
Thank you if you're still reading for bearing with me! If you're not, I don't blame you lmao (also happy new year and all that shit)