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Podfic

Written and Read by Sky Unicorn

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Karkat did not enjoy the role playing games as much as Nepeta. Unless he was getting to be the leader when they picked teams, he really hated wasting his time when he could have been making another attempt at an ATH program. Sure he might be a better programmer if he would just ask Sollux when he got stuck, but like he was going to ask that fuckass for help. Instead he found himself in the woods outside Terezi's house hiding under some brush. They were playing some game to practice stealth and capture. They had two member team slowly go out into the woods. The first team would find a hiding spot and if no one found them at the end of the night, they won. All others would go out in pairs and try to find the hiding duo. The finders and hiders would then strife until one team could be piled up and sat on in the original hiding space. Each other team would then try to follow the sounds of screams or in Karkat's case curses to find the pile of tied up or unconscious role players and strife for top of the troll pile.

Karkat had drawn the short bone and had to go first. No one wanted to go first as there was a high chance of being near the bottom of the pile at end game. However, the pile seed got to pick their partner, unlike everyone else. As he lay chin deep in leaves and twigs, Karkat cursed his past self. He wished there was a way to go back in time and slap him or at least send him a message about how much of a moron he was about to be. Instead, he seethed in silence as he imagined not panicking when Nepeta was jumping in his face volunteering. She was a handful and probably would have gotten them found by chattering like an old cluck beast. It would have been awkward to be pinned under her for hours as his friends tended to prefer tying each other up to pile on. They had different reasons. Tavros just didn't like to hurt people. Equius was afraid of breaking them. Vriska just liked to watch them squirm.

Past Karkat had been a panicky fucking wiggler and had aimlessly pointed over Nepeta's bouncing body. It was like the creeping up suspense scene as a killer approached an unsuspecting victim as Karkat remembered following the path of his arm to the painted face of his sopor inclined friend. Who had broken into a wider smile than his ever present lazy one and replied, "Miracles, Karbrother. We'll hide like the mother fucking rainbows do in clouds after rain." Karkat's face still hurt a little from the strength of his double face palm reply.

Despite "hiding like rainbows", Karkat and Gamzee were doing fairly well. The (moon) had moved slightly across the sky since they had chosen this spot—since Karkat had shushed Gamzee and pulled him into the brush to hide. Gamzee had spent a good hunk of the time tapping a silent beat on his arm and nodding his head slightly to the rhythm only in his think pan. Now, he was done with rhythm and lay on his back staring through the canopy and up at the stars.

"Hey Karbro, the sky is getting like in that movie with that Cusack troll we saw. Ice flakes are starting to dance up in air all the way down."

Movies nights had started to get a little awkward for Karkat. After every joke or tender scene he found himself glancing at the Capricorn to see how he reacted. Karkat thought it was because he wanted to make sure his friend was enjoying the movie he had picked. When he found himself doing it on nights when it was not at his house and he had not picked the movie, it was harder to justify. The truth began to hit him when he felt pangs in his chest when the glances revealed Gamzee to not be looking at the screen either, but at the long horned troll.

"Yeah, fuckass, it's getting cold. We're all bundled up and getting ready for Tweltth Perigee's Eve. Of course the sky water is now ice."

Karkat placed his hands near his face to blow on them to warm up, but it was also to hide the blush from the subject of his stream of thought. Not that he expected Gamzee to care much about his mutant blood color if he found out. Another reason why he found himself more confused around the high blood. Gamzee could not seem to care less about the hemospectrum that Karkat did not even fit into. It seemed like it might be his only chance at a matesprite.

"Yeah, but every time it's like soft fluffy miracle from the mirthful messiahs as a Perigee's gift."

Miracles. Karkat could not stand some of the analogies that came out of Gamzee's sopor fogged think pan. It was like he was pulling words at random and streaming them together so they came out in a rhythm. Maybe it was in part that Karkat knew Gamzee practiced his rhymes with the timid Tavros troll. He hated the idea of liking Gamzee in that way especially when he liked someone else, but it was not dark enough to be in the black quadrant.

"It happens every time of the sweep for freezes. Not really all that special."

"Yeah, but just cause something happens a lot doesn't mean it's not a miracle. Little icy fliers get their sparkle on like your eyes when trolls find their matesprites in your movies. Every time, it's a miracle, bro."

Then that idiot twisted out thoughts that were so fucking tender Karkat could swear he was in one of those indie romcoms were the violet blooded troll stops caring what troll society thinks and gets flushed for some mustard blooded nobody.

"Or like, the fizz when you shake a Faygo before slamming it. A mother fucking miracle every time."

Then he would keep talking and say something like that and Karkat wanted to plunge some of the twigs in his hear holes to block out the stupid.

"I cannot believe I am wasting my redrom on you" Karkat said under his breath planting his sore head with another face palm.

"Karkat."

Karkat's eyes shot open wide under the palm of his hand. Through his fingers, he saw Gamzee looking over at him with eyes that looked a little too sober. He had sat up like Karkat and was snapped to attention. Fuck.

"Ha! Gotcha! My fingers were crossed!" Karkat brought up his other hand with the index and middle finger twisted around each other. They had not played that game since they were four sweeps old. It was lame, but it was the first thing that popped into his think pan. He hoped Gamzee's think pan was drug addled enough to play along.

"Karkat..." He did not like the serious expression that was crossing Gamzee's face now.

"Yeah, it's fucking lame, but this game was getting boring so-"

"Karkat." Gamzee sounded more reproachful and serious as he put a finger over Karkat's lips to shoosh him. The blush was threatening to return, but Karkat could always rely on anger to drive away flushed feelings.

"Look. I didn't fucking even want to be out here-" Karkat was now flat on his back with Gamzee Makara on top of him. While the indigo blooded troll had his eyes closed and looked serene, Karkat was having a panic attack and was unable to move or form coherent thoughts.

"I'll tie up Karkitty. Looks like Gamzee already out. Great job, Equius! We make a pretty good team!" Karkat saw Nepeta do a victory dance as Equius lifted Gamzee up apologizing to the passed out high blood as blue perspiration flowed over his skin.

That's how Karkat found himself tied up under his flush crush and a profusely sweaty troll while Nepeta played with his nubby horns for the rest of the game.